Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

(Shawn) 'I can't believe it's another weekend without a date.'

(Marlon) 'Yeah, I can relate, bro.'

You know, I'm goin' through a little bit

of a dry spell myself.

A little dry spell?

Oh, you mean the '90s?

Ha, ha, ha.

It ain't been that long.

Ooh! Ladies underwear.

Look, triple D, my favorite letter of the alphabet.

Quick, turn the page. Go, turn, turn, turn.

(in unison) Thongs!

Ooh! Look at that booty, boy.

- Boo-yah! - Look like a full bag of chip.

[laughing]

What are you boys lookin' at?

Oh, just some hose.

Some hose?

That ain't the way to talk on the Lord's Day.

Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

- Fornicating.. - Pop!

- Pop, pop! - What? What?

Pantyhose.

- Pantyhose? - Yeah.

It's time you boys meet some women that don't

leave ink on your fingers.

That's why I've come by to take you to the church bazaar.

Oh, great.

Then maybe after that we could go to a little hoedown.

Can't you boys get them hoes off your mind for one second?

Now, come on, I'm taking you to church.

Oh, pop, come on, guys don't go to church bazaars.

Exactly.

That's why they have wall-to-wall ladies.

Anybody can pick up a pretty girl.

Even Marlon?

Of course, it's church.

Miracles do happen.

But if you boys wanna sit on the Lord's Day

and look at naked women, so be it.

♪ Lord help my children ♪♪

Can you believe pop?

Tryin' to get us to go to some stupid

lame church bazaar to pick up some women.

I know. What kind of desperados does he think we are?

[laughing]

- I'll get our coat. - You do that.

Hey, pop..

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite, that..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪♪

Come on in, boys.

Come on in. Don't be shy.

If the Lord was gonna strike you down

he'd have done it a long time ago.

[chuckling]

[all chuckling]

You can wipe that silly smile of your face

right now, pop, 'cause we ain't stayin'.

Yeah, pop, this is cornier than we thought.

Look at this.

Dumb games, cotton candy, kissin' booth.

Kissin' booth?

Shawn, quick, give me some money.

Come on, Shawn, give money, give money, give--

Hey, hey! Boy, stop acting retarded.

- Thank you. - Hey.

- Hi, Mr. Williams. - How do, Miss Amy?

Hi. Thanks again for donatin' those pies for the bake sale.

Anything for the church house.

But now, are you sure about that being tax deductible?

[laughs]

- Yes. - Well, alright.

Oh..

Is this one of your sons?

Yeah, hi, I'm Shawn.

I'm Amy. Hi.

Howdy-do.

[laughing]

Amy here practically organized this whole event by herself.

Wow! I'm impressed.

The bazaar is nice too.

[chuckles] Thank you.

As a matter of fact, uh, pop

I think Marlon's looking for you.

- Over there. - Where?

Over there.

Pop..

[laughing]

(Pops) 'Look at him, look at him, look at that.'

He got enough grease on his mouth

to fry a bucket of chicken.

I'll be right back. And thank you..

Hey!

Your father is really something.

[chuckles] Yeah, he's crazy. He's cuckoo.

So, Amy, this place looks great.

I mean, the last time I was here

I don't remember it being this lively.

But then again, of course, that was for a funeral.

[chuckles] Okay. Tell me the truth.

You've never been to a church bazaar in your life, have you?

Actually, no, I haven't.

But, uh, if I woulda known

I was gonna meet an angel..

...I woulda been here a lot sooner.

[chuckles] Hi, I'm Kim.

How you doin'? I'm, uh..

...Marlon.

- Your money, please. - Oh, yeah.

Here you go. Oh.

Hold on.

I know I got some Binaca around here.

- My shift. - Oh, good, girl.

Thank you.

Hi, baby. Heh. Lay it on me.

Ooh, Ethel is ready, willing, and able.

Hey! He-hey!

He-hey! Whoa..

Uh, where's Kim?

She took a break.

And now, I'm gonna break you off.

Oh, no!

[instrumental music]

Yo, I gotta admit it, Pops. You were right.

Amy is all Latin.

Didn't I tell you the church was the place to meet

the pretty ladies? Didn't I?

And here I thought church was the place you go

to worship the Lord. Hmm.

You guys act like it's happy hour at Hooters.

Nah, it wasn't so happy for me.

Now, what you all mad about?

I seen you gettin' busy with baby girl.

Oh, Marlon! Did you get some action?

Oh, he got awhole

So, Shawn, it sounds like you and this Amy really hit it off.

- What's she like? - Oh, she's really sweet.

She's different than any girl I ever went out with.

Yeah. She's not inflatable.

[laughing]

What you say?

I said, Amy is so sweet, Shawn.

Just a doll of a girl.

Now, really, Amy is really sweet.

She don't like drinking, smoking, going out to clubs

or eatin' at fancy restaurants.

Sound like my kinda date.

Cheap.

Hi, Shawn.

Hey, Amy. What a surprise.

Uh, Pops was just talking about you.

Yeah, he's sayin' how cheap you are.

No, no! Not-not, not bad cheap. Uh, uh, good cheap.

Although, sometimes bad cheap can be awfully good.

Uh, did you meet Dee?

Oh, hi, Amy.

It's nice to meet you, Dee.

I thought I'd surprise you for lunch. I made egg salad.

(in unison) Oh! Egg salad.

Come on, guys, back up.

Oh, I'm sorry, I-I guess I should have made more.

Oh, no, no, no. You shouldn't have.

Um, what do you say me and you go up to the roof

and have ourselves a little picnic?

I'd love that.

(in unison) Ohh! She'd love that.

It's a date.

Come on, let's go somewhere we could be alone.

Just you, me and our egg salad.

- Okay. - You go first.

The do make a cute couple.

Yeah, if you ask me, that boy is whipped.

Oh, she must really like him.

Cooking for a man is a sure sign the woman's in love.

Oh, Marlon-n-n!

Hey!

Big Ethel, how you doin'?

I thought I'd be like Amy and bring us a little lunch.

You didwhat?

Well, damn, baby!

It's like you caterin' the Million Man March.

[instrumental music]

(Shawn) 'I ain't even gonna front, girl.'

That dinner was slammin'.

- Well, thank you. - Whoo!

You know, I really enjoy spending time with you, Shawn.

Yeah, well, you know..

...I really really enjoy spending time with you too.

You don't know how hard it is to find a nice guy.

I mean, most guys are only after one thing.

[scoffs] Yeah, guys could be such dogs.

But not you. You're a perfect gentleman.

And I really respect that.

Hey, hey, w-what you doin'?

- I'm cleaning the table. - No, no, no. no.

I got a better idea.

Would you like to dance?

But there's no music.

Boop.

[instrumental music]

- Very impressive. - Huh, yeah.

Well, you know, I used to be a DJ.

You're a wonderful dancer.

[chuckles] Yeah, well, you haven't seen my best moves yet.

[music continues]

Would you like to go inside?

Um...Shawn, I really..

...really like you, but..

...no.

Hey, hey, hey. It's cool.

I mean, you know, I don't wanna rush you.

We don't have to do anything tonight.

[sighs]

Shawn, um, I don't think you understand.

See, I'm saving myself for my husband.

You married?

No! No.

I'm a virgin.

Oh.

Well, is that a problem?

Nah, uh, no. No problem.

I mean, we can still dance.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

- Go for it. Okay. - Okay.

(Shawn) 'Marlon, it's time for work.'

I wanna know the play-by-play on the action.

What are you talkin' about?

You know, last night. You and..

You and Amy knockin' boots, you know?

Come on man, gimme details.

Come on, man. That's high school, man.

- We're past that. - You didn't get none, huh?

[laughing]

You really didn't get none.

Will you leave it alone?

I guess that's what she did, huh?

[laughing]

What happened, did you have a...problem?

The problem is, if that's what you wanna call it..

Amy is a virgin.

Seriously, man. Come on, stop.. Stop joking, for real.

I'm serious. Amy is savin' herself for marriage

and, hey, I respect her feelings.

[laughing] Come on, man. Stop playing.

Virgin!

I'm serious. Amy is a virgin.

She's saving herself for marriage.

I am so sorry, Shawn.

- Tough luck, kid. - Yeah.

Well, looks like we both came up short, kid.

Well..

Hold up, no you didn't.

You did not with Big Ethel.

I did. And, Shawn, it was incredible!

Big chops broke me off!

She wasn't too much for you?

Man. It felt I was sleeping with ten women at one time.

Then she made me some cookies.

- Mmm. - Ha!

I don't believe this. You got some and I didn't.

That never happens.

It is kind of funny when you think about it, huh?

[laughing]

I guess I'm the playboy, and you're the water boy!

I guess I'm the Mac, and you're the McNugget!

I guess I'm Don Juan, and you are Don not!

[laughing]

I guess I'm.. Late for work!

[instrumental music]

Ah! Here, kid, I got the rest of the magazines.

Whoo!

- Whoo. - Marlon.

Magazines are for selling, not sittin'.

- Get it? - Yeah, I get it.

I ain't got no problem gettin' it.

Unlike some people I know.

Look, boy, don't start with me.

Alright, alright. I'm only playing with you.

It's cool that Amy's a good girl and all.

That's right.

See, besides, I'm at a point in my life

where I want more out of a relationship than just sex.

Yeah, like what?

I have no idea.

There's gotta be somethin'. I don't know, hangin' out

talkin', watchin' TV.

Okay, you just described us.

How's it going, guys?

What you need is a woman's advice.

Too bad there ain't none around.

Excuse me?

What do you think these are, airbags?

Come on, what you little tenders need to know?

Well, Dee, Amy is a vir--

A Virgo? Hmm.

No, but close.

Amy is saving herself.

Good for her.

Not a lotta girls these days

with moral values, and self-respect.

I wish I saved myself for marriage instead of bein'

such a wild child.

Ooh, little miss wild, freaky, child.

I'm not proud of it.

But I was young and foolish, and only had one thing on my mind.

[chuckles] I know what you mean.

Ha! Mr. Al Green.

Ooh, I had all his records, I went to all his shows.

I lived for that man.

Then one night, I snuck backstage at the Apollo Theater.

And it happened.

You and Al Green?

No, me and Curtis, the man who handles his bags.

[shudders] That man knew how to fill an overnighter. Hmph!

He also knew how to break a girl's heart.

But he did get me some free 8-tracks.

- Word? - Yeah.

You still got Curtis' number?

[indistinct]

Thanks a lot, Dee. You really cleared things up for me.

Now, I gotta dump Amy.

There you go. That's the Shawn I know, baby!

That's right. Gotta go, gotta go.

That's what I'm sayin', baby.

There's plenty more where she came from.

Huh, ain't no girl gonna play this brother righthere. Mm-hmm.

- Hi, Shawn. - Hi, Amy.

Hi, Amy.

Amy?

Keep the faith, girl.

So, little girl, what brings you here?

Well, I just wanted to stop by and see if we were still on

for the church social tonight.

Oh, yeah, sure. Why not?

Well, you know, after what happened last night I just

want to make sure everything was still okay between us.

Sure, everything's okay. It's cool. I mean..

Ain't every day a guy meets a girl with self-respect

morals, and all that other good stuff.

Hope you didn't bring that, girl.

- Thanks. - Mwah.

I'll meet you at the church at 8:00 then?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Whoo!

Brother, I don't know how you do it.

Kissin' that pretty girl like that

knowin' that's just how far you gonna go.

Hey, look, man, I'm a grown-up, okay?

I can control my urges.

Just, you know, work it off with a little exercise, that's all.

Where you goin'?

Little jog. Maybe around Manhattan.

Maybe the tri-state area.

[The Commodores singing "Brick House"]

♪ She's a brick house ♪

♪ She's mighty mighty ♪

♪ Just lettin' it all hang out ♪

♪ She's a brick house ♪

♪ And like lady's stacked and that's the fact ♪

♪ Ain't holding nothing back ♪

♪ She's a brick house ♪

♪ We're here together everybody knows ♪

♪ This is how.. ♪♪

[music stops]

I'm okay. I'm cool.

I'm sorry.

W-when I start pumping, I lose all control.

Don't worry about it, girl.

Thank God it wasn't slam dancin'.

I'd be in Connecticut right now.

I'm gonna go get some punch.

You do that. With your bass..

Marlon?

Hey, hey, what's up, Amy?

Hi, um, have you seen Shawn?

Aww, man. Last time I seen him, he was runnin' off

some nervous energy.

Oh, Shawn. I'm so glad to see you.

- What's goin' on? - Nothin', I'm fine.

Would you like some ice cream?

Alright.

What's up, kid?

Don't ask. How are things with you and Big Ethel?

Man, I'll be the happiest man alive

if she don't kill me first.

- Hey there, cutie. - What's up, girl?

How about asking me to dance?

Oh, I'm sorry, pretty, um

sounds tempting, but I'm kinda here with somebody.

I should've known.

Men are always so much more attractive

when they're spoken for.

Oh, well, you know, uh

I'm spoken for myself, girl.

Well, so much for that theory.

She wants me.

Marlon, will you control your hormones, man?

We're at a church gathering.

Man, don't act like you wasn't looking at her booty.

Look, man, sex ain't the only thing on my mind.

[upbeat music]

Hey, hey, hey! Man, what's wrong with you?

I was just thinking..

Don't worry, I've been havin' those thoughts myself.

[laughing]

Will you get your mind out of the gutter?

See, Marlon, Amy's taught me that there's a higher love

than just the physical.

[scoffs]

[music continues]

[ambient music]

[upbeat music]

[ambient music]

Shawn...our song.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, Amy.

I can't do this.

I just can't.

Oh, Big Ethel.

Nine hundred and fourteen, nine hundred and fifteen..

Who is it? Nine hundred and sixteen..

'It's Amy!'

Oh, boy.

Man.

[exhales]

Hey.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry.

I guess I've been kinda saying that a lot lately.

I guess it's because it's kinda..

It's kinda hard being with you, without actually

being able to be with you

I know, and I've been going through the same thing.

You have?

I've been doing a lotta thinking.

Shawn..

I've never felt like this about anybody.

Really?

Yeah, and..

I don't wanna lose you over this.

So what are you sayin'?

[sighs]

Shawn, uh..

...I want you to be the one.

You sure?

Yeah.

And I want it now.

Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

Well, what's the matter?

It just don't feel right.

I mean, it feels right.

But...tsk. It ain't right.

You're right.

I mean, I know you have your beliefs

and they're important to you, and..

...I don't wanna be the brother that messed that up.

Tsk. That's sweet, Shawn.

Listen, maybe we're just movin' too fast.

Yeah, you know, slow it down a little.

Yeah.

Not too much.

Never.

Well, um, it's gettin' late

I guess I better go.

Okay. Call you tomorrow?

- Mm-hmm. - Alright.

[sighs]

- Shawn? - Yeah?

Thanks.

No problem.

Nine hundred and sixteen, nine hundred and seventeen

nine hundred and eighteen, nine hundred and nineteen..

Twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six.

Still didn't get none, huh?

What are you doin' home so early?

It's Big Ethel.

Oh, you guys want the apartment to yourself? I'll be out.

Nah, nah.

She dumped me, man!

Wha-at?

Yeah, man, she said she wanted her space.

As big as she is?

I made passionate love to her, Shawn.

I gave her the best 30 seconds of her life.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese!