Original subtitles

(Pops) 'Looks like you guys had a good practice game.'

Oh, we wrecked them, brother.

Yeah, pop. We beat them like they was a bunch of kids.

But don't think it's gonna be that easy

when you play the Jones Brothers next Saturday.

Man, we gonna wipe the floors with them scrubs, a'ight?

You said that last year and they beat you by 20 points.

Hey, well, pops, we did our best.

That's what Patrick Ewing says.

You never see him on a Wheaties box.

Well, he ain't the cutest guy in the world.

I think people wanna enjoy their breakfast.

Yeah, pop, who wanna eat their cereal

with this guy lookin' at you?

[laughs]

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print!'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

Now, boys, I want you to practice two hours

every day this week.

Two hours?

Come on, pop, what's the big deal, black?

- Big deal? - Yeah.

The Williams family have been playing the Jones family

this grudge game every year for three generations.

Ever since Grandma Williams took Grandpa Jones to the home.

Are we still talking about basketball, pops?

Yes, we are.

I'll never forget my last win over the Jones'.

It was back in the old days.

- Oh, God! Here we go. - Oh, God! Here we go.

Two-fisted windmill slam. Look.

Bam!

Reverse backhand layup, left-handed.

Yi-dee!

Thirty-foot jump shot, look.

Swoosh!

Oh, it was lovely.

[laughs]

Those were the old days, pop.

Back when the NBA stood for "No Brothers Allowed."

[laughing]

Let's talk about last year when the Jones brother

'opened a can of whipped butter on you two.'

The saddest day of my life.

Hey, hey, relax, pop, alright?

Now you're talkin' to the dream team, brother.

That's right.

Well, when you wake up

I've got something for you.

What you got?

I call it the four Ps.

Pop's Potent Power Punch.

- Hey. - Hey.

Hey, you smell like New Jersey.

Yeah, pop.

Are we supposed to drink this

or relax our hair with it?

It is a health drink.

Raw eggs, mashed cheese, cod liver oil

and a drop of prune juice to sweeten the taste.

Ooh! Age before beauty.

Uh. Ooh, yeah. Age before beauty, pop.

Stop acting like a couple of sissies.

You gotta knock it out like a man!

[belches]

Too much prune juice.

- Hey, where you going? - Where you going?

- Where you going? - Where you going?

Let me go. Let me go.

Where you going?

It looks like Pop Potent Power Punch

put pop in the potty.

Pretty pitiful!

Peace out!

(Shawn) 'I think pops was right.'

'I think we need to spend a little bit'

more time practicing.

Besides, who cares about a stupid

basketball game, anyway?

I do.

That's the difference between you and me.

I care about honor

family tradition, and self-integrity.

And you, you cried when they cancelled "Blossom."

Hey, hey, she ain't much to look at.

But white girl could dance, boy.

She was workin' it.

Whoa.

[chuckles]

Hey, Marlon, doesn't it irk you that the Jones Brothers

beat us our whole lives at everything?

I mean, little league stickball, football, track..

- Hungry Hungry Hippos. - Yeah.

I mean, the only thing we ever beat them in was basketball

up until last year.

Man, if you could've only seen the look on pop's face.

Yeah, I saw it. I was there.

Damn, that man is ugly when he cries.

'I know.'

You know what, Shawn? You're right, guy.

We gotta beat them this year.

Now you're talkin'.

That's what I'm sayin', kid.

Hey, are those my Calvin's?

Yeah, so?

What'd you mean, so? What's up with that?

Calm down, I'll give them back. Shoo.

I don't, I don't want them back.

Look, Shawn, I know I might've stretched 'em out

a little bit, a'ight?

All you gotta do is take a big pair of two socks

stick it down there, you'll be fine.

Ha ha ha. Very funny.

I ain't taking 'em back after you done funked them all up.

And look at this mess, man.

Come on, you've turned this place into a pigsty.

I'm not your maid no more, I ain't cleaning up after you.

Oh, shut up. Quit complaining. You sound like pop.

I do not!

And I wouldn't have to act like pops if you'd follow the rules.

Look, man, you ain't the only one in this house

that can make rules, a'ight? I can make rules too.

Like what?

Like clothes can go on the floor.

Boy, if you don't pick those clothes up right now

you're gonna be laying right next to them.

I ain't pickin' up nothin'.

Look, man, I'm sick and tired of you

tellin' me what to do all the time.

[upbeat music]

Excuse me.

[screams]

I'm looking for "Bride Beautiful"

and today's "Mechanic."

Brother, you should be looking for some magic shave.

You better watch your mouth, punk.

My girdle is killing me.

Okay. Okay, ma'am, sir, I mean, Mr. Ma'am.

Here, [indistinct] for all. Just take the magazines and go.

Thank you.

[bell dings]

Hey, Marlon, you can't treat people that way.

- What's wrong with you? - You talking about the freak?

That ain't cool, man, to judge people by the way they look.

I mean, the dude is a human being.

Besides, this is New York City.

Half of our customers are freaks.

Alright, if you say so.

Yo, man, get your feet off the counter.

What's the matter with you?

And spit that gum out.

It's a business, this ain't a gymnasium.

Spit my gum out, take my feet off my counter?

Next thing you know, you'd be tellin' me

I can't take money out the register.

Spit the gum out.

Come on, Shawn. It still got flavor, man.

I don't care. Spit it out.

Out.

You need to chill with that, alright?

Yeah? You need to grow up.

Boy, I'll lift some weight and God, so help me

'I'll get big and I'll fight you, Shawn.'

Do whatever you want.

[indistinct yelling]

Am I sensing pre-game tension?

- Mind your business! - Mind your business!

They're brothers, they fight.

'It's the same with my sister and me.'

She's jealous 'cause I'm the tall one.

Who's your father, Tattoo?

[imitating Tattoo] Boss, da plane.

'Da plane.'

Very funny, Marlon.

Why don't you show some respect, man?

Like me, you stupid little punk.

I'd rather be a stupid little punk than a kiss-ass, any day.

Yeah, that's right, you suck 'em so much

you should come with attachments.

Yeah, well, I'm about to attach my foot to your butt.

You ain't scaring nobody. What you gonna do?

- Come on, what you want, baby? - Come on, man. You are joking.

I ain't scared of you, man. I'm a grown now, I'm grown.

I ain't scared of you, what you wanna do?

What's up? Back it up, son.

I ain't scared of you. I ain't scared of you.

- Back up.. - I ain't scared of you.

- What's up, boy? What's up? - 'You watch.'

- You watch, Shawn. - 'What's up?'

I'm gonna eat pork and I'm gonna get real big

and I'm gonna kick your ass!

- Yeah? Why don't you do it now? - Hold it! Hold it!

You're lucky she's holding me back.

- Get off me! - You guys!

Now this is deeper than pre-game tension.

Well, I..

You two have been at each other's throats for weeks.

What is going on here?

Nothin'.

Marlon..

...come on now.

Don't hide your feelings behind some macho facade.

Let them out.

Well, he's mean and bossy and he gets on my nerves.

Yeah, well, you ain't nothin' but an overgrown baby.

Yeah, well, at least I ain't undergrown where it counts.

Whoop.

And besides, it ain't the size of the boat

it's the motion in the ocean.

Alright. Okay.

Look, you guys, this-this is ridiculous.

Let's get to the heart of the matter.

Marlon, what actually bothers you about Shawn?

Well, he's always tellin' me what to do.

'He should mind his own business.'

Ah, Shawn, did you hear what he just said?

Of course I did, I'm standing right here.

No. I mean, do you understand what he means?

Marlon doesn't want you to treat him

like your little brother anymore.

- He wants to be his own man. - 'Yeah!'

And I wanna be independent and speak for myself.

Tell him.

Alright, alright.

I guess I'll cut you a little bit of slack.

Aww.

See?

Love does conquer all.

Okay, guys, I think it's time for a hug.

Oh!

Marlon, I meant with Shawn.

I'm lucky to have you..

Marlon. Marlon.

Marlon!

Not before the game.

- Boys, get in here. - 'What's up, pops?'

[laughing]

Look, who fell off the chuck wagon?

Two chumps.

[all laughing]

Well, well, well, if it isn't the Jones Brothers

vanilla pudding and black licorice.

[all laughing]

Very funny, Shawn.

Almost as funny as when we stomped you

into the ground last year.

Yeah!

- You ugly moth-- - Just, shh, just, uh!

Don't stoop to their level.

Be your own man.

Alright.

Now, pop, just because we're rivals

doesn't mean we all can't be friends, alright?

Marlon, what're you talking about?

That's Elroy and Delroy. We hate them.

Yeah!

Especially you.

Remember, Shawn, love conquers all.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna conk you on the head

after I slam dunk on you.

Yeah, sucka!

I-I-I-I mean, just yeah!

Marlon, you gonna let them talk to you like that?

Pop, listen.

After the game, no matter who wins

we could all meet here and have a nice big bowl of ice cream.

What do you say, guys?

Well, ain't this somethin'?

The William sisters wanna have an ice cream party

after we kick their butts.

Yo, man, let's get out of here

before they start givin' us make-up tips.

[laughing]

Yeah!

Hey!

You two goons don't get it, do you?

See, Marlon was just pulling somethin' over your head!

He was playin' with y'all!

[laughs] Stupid!

A-and then he fooled you!

And it worked too! Nice goin', Marlon.

The hell is the matter with you, man?

You just embarrassed three generations of William's men.

Not to mention hook-shot granny.

All I wanna know is, what's at the bottom of all this?

What the devil's gotten into you?

Maybe a little bit of she-devil.

[chuckles]

This is obviously a family matter.

(Marlon) 'Hey, you know what?'

If you don't like me like I am

then I'll do you a favor, alright?

I'll quit the team.

You think you so good

then you play by yourself.

Well, peace out.

- You peace out. - Boy..

Well, go ahead! Who needs you anyway?

You do, you damn fool! You do!

[upbeat music]

- Hey, Shawn. - Pop.

Oh, no more freebies.

Oh, come on, pop. I was eatin' that.

No more freebies for you.

Not until you get your brother back into the game.

Now I gotta sell it at a discount.

I tried, but he won't talk to me.

Well, make him talk to you.

You're the oldest brother.

Just hold him down, and force him to listen.

We gotta get him in the game.

Pops, I don't think violence is gonna work.

It worked before.

But he wants to be treated like an adult now.

An adult? He don't take a bubble bath without using Mr. Bubble.

Shawn, all you have to do is reason with Marlon.

All he wants from you is an apology.

Are you crazy? Why do I gotta apologize?

Because if you don't, I'm gonna whip your butt.

- Let me get my belt. - That's crazy..

Apologize.

And you say violence doesn't work.

Marlon..

What did I do now?

Nothin'. I just want to talk to you.

I know I've been riling you pretty hard

for the past couple of days.

Try years.

Will you let me get through this?

Alright, go ahead.

[sighs] Well..

...I-I just wanna say that, I'm...sorry.

Are you done? What was that?

It sounded like I'm sorry. Uh, let's try it again.

This time let's put some more sensitivity into it

and a little bit more heart, and maybe I'll believe you.

Ready? Go.

Okay.

Look, Marlon, I'm really

really, really sorry..

That's better. There you go.

...that I ever tried to apologize to a lazy

bone-headed jackass like you.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I am not lazy, alright?

And another thing, I don't accept your apology.

He had the nerve to call me lazy.

Son, I know you made up your mind

about not playing in the game.

Mm-hmm.

You've taken a stand

there's nothin' I can do.

And being the wonderful father that I am..

...I gotta respect your decision.

Thank you, pop.

I mean, there'll be other games..

Mm-hmm.

...when Shawn has his sons.

Only the...Lord knows if I'll be around to see it.

With my health problems and all.

What health problem?

Well, you know, I've been going to the doctor a lot lately.

[coughing]

You talking about for your bunion?

Yeah, bunion, tumors, coughs.

[coughing] They're all the same.

Pop, listen..

...nobody's gonna respect me if I don't take a stand, alright?

I hear you, son.

But you're wrong about one thing.

I've always had the utmost of respect and love for you.

Aw, come here, son.

Thanks, pop.

Hey, pop...you know I love you, right?

Mm-hmm.

You know I'd do anything in this world for you.

That means you're playing the game?

Anything but that.

Go away.

[instrumental music]

(Monique) 'Hi, Marlon.'

Hey, what's up, Monique?

Can't help but notice you look a little...down?

[sighs] It's just that I'm lonely.

Oh.

Really, really lonely.

Come on now, Marlon, stop.

- Talk to me. - Alright.

What's troubling you?

Shawn and pop are mad at me.

And you would like to make up with them?

Of course.

- And play in the game? - Hell yeah.

'So then why don't you?'

'Cause I wanna be my own man.

Oh, baby, and you are.

But that doesn't mean you can't be a part of the team.

You can put your own personal stamp

on the game now, can't you?

Yeah, I mean, that's what all the other superstars do, right?

And aren't we each a superstar in our own little way?

- You're damn skippy. - So, then you're playing?

- Let them try and stop me. - Oh, fabulous!

Five, four, three, two

go fade away.

[instrumental music]

Alright, team, work it, work it, work it.

Yes, alright!

Alright!

- Any luck, pops? - I can't find him anywhere.

Well, my boys are on time.

Look at 'em, poetry in motion.

'Go, Elroy!'

Do it, do it, do it. Do it, Delroy!

[laughing]

Oh, shut up, Melroy!

Now, if the opponent boy ain't here in one more minute

it's forfeit!

- Forfeit? - That's right.

I'd just as soon kissed your wife..

...as if I haven't.

Yo, pop, what are we gonna do, man?

Look like it's you and me, son.

- You and me what? - Play the game.

I still got my move.

Two-fisted windmill slam!

Bam!

Reverse backhand layup left-handed.

Yakka-dee-dee!

Thirty-foot jump shot!

Ooh. Charley horse. Charley horse.

Help me, Shawn. Help me get back. Please, help me, help me.

Help me, please. Help me. Help me, somebody, please.

Thank you, baby doll.

Oh, now, call 911, quick!

I guess there's nothin' left to do but forfeit.

- Hey! What's up, man? - What's up?

Where's your boy?

- 'Tradition continues.' - 'What?'

(Elroy) Is that a joke?

It's a joke, man. That's a joke!

Hey, what the hell are you doin'?

I'm being my own man.

Oh, that's very original, Dennis.

Well, I'm not doin' Rodman, alright?

For your information, Rodman has a macaw

I have a parrot.

Boy, are you gonna play ball

or you're gonna go "Trick or Tweetin'?"

[all laughing]

Oh, shut up, Melroy!

Come on, boys, let's play.

First one to get 32 points, win.

Monique, hold my bird.

- Losers take the ball out! - Yeah!

Alright now, remember, let's play our game, baby.

Don't worry about it.

I got a little game plan of my own.

Alright. Just make sure you can keep up.

Check that, baby. Check that.

(Marlon) 'Say what?'

[indistinct yelling]

[hip hop music]

I'm open! I'm open!

I'm open! I'm open! I'm open!

[cheering]

(Melroy) 'Good going, Elroy!'

Come on, boy.

Over here, baby. Over here, over here.

[indistinct yelling]

[music continues]

Oh, no!

- Come on, man! - Don't worry about it. Step.

[indistinct yelling]

Come on, man! Let's play our game.

Don't worry about it. I'm just warmin' up.

- Damn, I'm warming up. - You said that already.

I'm gettin' hot. You feel that..

Come on, Marlon, hey!

(Melroy) '...let's go.'

What? What? What? What?

[indistinct yelling]

- On the ground! - What? What you gonna do?

What you gonna do, Del? What you gonna do..

[indistinct yelling]

(Pops) What the hell are you waiting for, Marlon? Pass the ball!

What? What? What? What?

[crowd cheering]

Yeah, boy.

Hey, yo, man, you just stole the ball from me.

Easy!

I got this, suck-boy.

I'll show you some suck-boy.

Yo, ball! Come on, sweet mouth.

Pass that ball, sweet mouth!

Come on, sweet mouth!

[indistinct chatter]

Come on. Come on..

(Elroy) 'There you go.'

That's for you, chump.

You alright, kid?

What do you care?

Yo, why you trippin', man?

You know you're more important to me than any game.

Come on.

- For real? - Yeah.

Alright, come on, let's play your game.

No, let's play our game.

Alright.

That's the Marlon I know.

What? What, what?

Let's go. Go!

[crowd cheering]

[indistinct yelling]

[crowd cheering]

[indistinct]

Ahh!

[crowd cheering]

Game point, boys. Now do..

Come on! Come on! Come on, man!

[indistinct shouting]

Hold tight.

[indistinct chatter]

- Come on. - There you go.

There you go, man.

Shoot it. Go on, do it. Be your own man!

[heartbeats]

[all cheering]

[upbeat music]

[indistinct]

Whoo!

[grunts]

What's up, kid? Morning.

Yo, man, where the hell you've been?

When I say 2 o'clock practice, I mean 2 o'clock practice.

- I was here at 2 o'clock. - Oh, yeah? Where?

I was on the other side of the park.

I was talking to this honey

with the big booty.

Yo, Shawn

her butt look like this basket ball.

She was like this.

[imitates woman] Marlon!

- Marlon. - Stop!

Don't be gettin' freaky with me, boy.

Stop, man.

Oh, you know I like spankin'.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say "Cheese."