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1
00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:05,326
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:06,333 --> 00:00:08,323
[grunting]
3
00:00:12,216 --> 00:00:13,216
[chuckling]
4
00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,500
[Shawn screaming]
5
00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:24,250
(Shawn)
'Yo, Marlon.
Turn the cold water off,
man.'
6
00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:27,253
'I'm in the shower! What are
you tryin' to do, kill me?'
7
00:00:27,283 --> 00:00:29,253
'Tryin' to burn me to death?'
8
00:00:29,283 --> 00:00:31,503
Uh, that wasn't me!
9
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:33,320
It was the old dude upstairs
with the, with the weak
bladder.
10
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,196
[Shawn screaming]
11
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,223
(Shawn)
'Marlon, I'm gonna kill
you!'
12
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,200
[Shawn screaming in breaks]
13
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,380
(Shawn)
'Marlon, you're a dead man.'
14
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,300
I love making orange juice.
15
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:19,273
[knocking on door]
16
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:22,180
Now, who's knocking on my door
this early in the morning?
17
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,280
Yo, Marlon, who's at the door?
18
00:01:33,316 --> 00:01:35,266
I don't know.
Somebody just left us a baby.
19
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,380
[baby crying]
20
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,170
- A baby?
- A baby?
21
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,220
[both screaming]
22
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,230
[theme song]
23
00:01:43,316 --> 00:01:45,166
♪ We're brothers ♪
24
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,220
♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪
25
00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:52,130
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
26
00:01:52,166 --> 00:01:54,266
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys.'
27
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,150
'Dynamite. That is..'
28
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:59,663
♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪
29
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,250
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
30
00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:04,003
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
31
00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:06,130
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
32
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:08,316
♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪
33
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,300
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
34
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,223
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
35
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:15,270
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
36
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,000
♪ I got something.. ♪♪
37
00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:28,496
Let's see, we got a bottle.
38
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:30,280
We've got...wipes.
39
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,346
- Got pampers.
- Rubber ducky.
40
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:35,273
- We got lotion.
- Rubber ducky.
41
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:39,500
- We got the baby oil.
- You aredespicable.
42
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,660
- Sucky-ducky. Quack! Quack!
- Formula.
43
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,330
- Sucky-ducky. Sucky-ducky.
- Clothes.
44
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:44,170
Ducky-ducky-ducky--
45
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,160
Will you give me that?
46
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,330
You make more noise
than the baby.
47
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,180
Hey, look,
Shawn.
There's a note.
48
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,170
"Kenny is your child too.
49
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,230
And it's about time you took
some responsibility for him."
50
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,656
Okay.
51
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,170
"I'mthrough
of him by myself.
52
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,230
Mm-hmm.
53
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:09,246
"Love, T.
54
00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:13,183
PS, drop dead,
you no good dog."
55
00:03:13,216 --> 00:03:16,126
Marlon, why didn't you tell me
you got some girl pregnant?
56
00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:19,656
Me? I never dated
no girl named T.
57
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,160
Well, what happened
to that girl you used to go
out
58
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,350
with last year namedTyesha?
59
00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:25,123
Yeah, so?
60
00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:28,270
So didn't you say that she was
like the Energizer bunny?
61
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:33,330
Oh, yeah. She kept
goin'
and goin' and goin'..
62
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,350
Okay, now she'sgone
and had your baby.
63
00:03:35,383 --> 00:03:37,323
See what happens when you don't
cover your copper top.
64
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,120
Hey, hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
65
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:41,350
Whoa!
66
00:03:41,383 --> 00:03:43,503
Let's kill
all that noise,
alright?
67
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:44,250
I always use protection.
68
00:03:44,283 --> 00:03:45,353
I know you ain't
talkin' about that thing
69
00:03:45,383 --> 00:03:48,353
you had in your wallet
since seventh grade.
70
00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:51,273
Looked like a old chewed up
piece of gum.
71
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,180
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Wait a second.
72
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:55,216
Don't try and put this
on me, alright?
73
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,500
Remember when
I was dating
Tyesha
74
00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:58,280
you was datingTamika.
75
00:03:58,316 --> 00:04:00,096
[chuckling]
So?
76
00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:02,373
So,
two
was getting busy
77
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,120
up in that bedroom.
78
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:05,200
How do you know?
79
00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:08,103
'Cause I was in the
closet
listening.
80
00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,383
Come on, man, there was
more moanin' and
groanin'
81
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,660
coming out that room
than in a Barry White
concert.
82
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:16,330
Oh, yeah, baby, let this
sexy walrus do what he gotta
do.
83
00:04:16,366 --> 00:04:19,216
Come on, baby,
let-let's do this walrus
style.
84
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,273
That doesn't prove anything.
What does that prove?
85
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,230
It proves this is your baby.
86
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,326
Now take him.
87
00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:30,216
Yo, I ain't takin'
nothin', okay?
88
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,230
Matter of fact, we both better
take our behind to work.
89
00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:35,126
- 'Cause we gotta--
- Oh, yeah.
90
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:37,126
I can't believe that somebody
would just leave a baby
91
00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:38,326
all alone
in a hallway like that.
92
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,126
I know. Oh, uh, uh
93
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:42,296
I mean how can you just abandon
a baby, that so cold-blooded
94
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,353
justditching
95
00:04:45,383 --> 00:04:48,503
[Kenny crying]
96
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:49,250
- I thought you had him.
- That's not my kid.
97
00:04:49,283 --> 00:04:51,003
That's your
child,
you take him.
98
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,300
- That ain't my kid.
- Yes, it is your kid.
99
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:56,133
Look, he got your bullet
head
and your wide nose.
100
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,346
"Wide nose?"
That definitely ain't me.
101
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,353
That must be
Dionne Warwick's child.
102
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,283
[instrumental music]
103
00:05:03,316 --> 00:05:05,326
Sorry for the wait, sir.
Thank you very much.
104
00:05:05,366 --> 00:05:07,126
- Come again.
- Thanks.
105
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,166
Oh, huh, cute kid.
106
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,220
- It's his!
- It's his!
107
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:16,273
Thank you. Thank you.
108
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:20,500
Oh, such a
healthy
looking fellow.
109
00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:21,170
'How old is he?'
110
00:05:22,266 --> 00:05:23,246
Guess?
111
00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:25,373
I'd say four and a half months.
112
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,350
Mm-hmm. Sounds about right.
113
00:05:27,383 --> 00:05:29,123
How much you think he weighs?
114
00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:32,300
- Oh, about 15 pounds.
- Mm-hmm.
115
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,173
(Shawn)
How tall you think he is?
116
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,230
Twenty two inches.
117
00:05:36,266 --> 00:05:39,196
Alright, lady,
is this your baby?
118
00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:41,303
Where were you
at six o'clock this morning?
119
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:44,163
Huh? Get back here,
you little freak.
120
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:47,230
[Kenny crying]
121
00:05:47,266 --> 00:05:49,226
Marlon, look after your baby.
122
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,496
He's not my baby.
123
00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:54,330
Come on, kid. Shh.
Quiet up, man.
124
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:56,330
Come on, time out!
Time out! Time..
125
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,120
Come on, quiet, man!
126
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:59,150
[speaking gibberish]
127
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:03,496
Come on, man.
How do you cut this thing off?
128
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:04,120
Out of me way, stupido.
129
00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:05,300
[crying]
130
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:08,833
You have to talk to him
in a way that he
understands.
131
00:06:08,116 --> 00:06:09,266
Okay.
132
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,330
Hey, little man. Yo!
133
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:13,330
If you chill out,
I'll give you a Almond
Joy.
134
00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:15,156
[Kenny crying]
135
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,330
Okay, how 'bout
some Junior Mints?
136
00:06:16,366 --> 00:06:18,156
[Kenny crying]
137
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,500
Alright. I got
it.
I got it.
138
00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:20,170
If you'll be quiet for me
139
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,320
I promise I'll take
you
to see Barney.
140
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,270
[crying]
141
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,250
Back away from the baby now!
142
00:06:27,283 --> 00:06:29,273
You guys are truly pathetic.
143
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,170
Okay, sweetheart,
up we go up.
144
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,220
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
145
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:37,500
Hey, he likes you.
146
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:38,200
All babies like me.
147
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:39,333
Well, that's 'cause y'all
the same height.
148
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:42,166
[laughing]
149
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,280
I happen to be
the eldest of seven children.
150
00:06:45,316 --> 00:06:48,116
I've been holding babies
since I was a baby.
151
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,180
Give me a smile, big guy.
152
00:06:50,216 --> 00:06:51,326
How can you hold him?
153
00:06:51,366 --> 00:06:53,116
He's so little and slimy.
154
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:56,120
Uh, it's the most
wonderful
feeling in the world.
155
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:57,180
You should try it.
156
00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:58,366
A lot of women are attracted
157
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,660
to a man with a baby.
158
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,220
It shows their tender,
nurturing side.
159
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:04,150
Give me, give me.
160
00:07:04,183 --> 00:07:07,163
- 'Morning, all.
- Hey, Monique.
161
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,000
Look what I've got?
I'm holdin' a baby.
162
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:12,000
- See, I'm nuturing.
- Nurturing.
163
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,350
- Nurturing.
- Yeah.
164
00:07:13,383 --> 00:07:17,203
Oh, nurture away from me,
Marlon. I'm wearing silk.
165
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:19,333
Can you say "Gucci?"
166
00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:21,246
[Kenny crying]
167
00:07:21,283 --> 00:07:23,273
Oh, damn. Here.
168
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:27,200
This thing is worse
than a car alarm.
Shh.
169
00:07:27,233 --> 00:07:30,353
Every.. Oh, every cry
means something different.
170
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,003
Whether he's hungry...or hurt
171
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,280
or it just wants attention.
172
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:38,826
- So what does he want now?
- He wants to be changed.
173
00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:39,296
(both)
Oh, man!
174
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:43,303
Get back here! You're not
leaving me holdin' the bag.
175
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:46,333
Oh, come on, Lou.
You're the expert.
176
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:48,150
You change him first,
and then we'll watch.
177
00:07:48,183 --> 00:07:50,133
And we'll learn real,
real slow.
178
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:52,276
He's your baby.
You bond with
him.
179
00:07:52,316 --> 00:07:54,276
Oh, okay.
180
00:07:54,316 --> 00:07:56,116
Alright, I'll do
the first one,
Marlon.
181
00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,160
- You do the next one.
- Alright.
182
00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,280
Put somethin' out for
me.
I need your help.
183
00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:00,296
Alright.
184
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:09,503
He's not a parakeet.
185
00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,100
- Something soft.
- Oh.
186
00:08:16,350 --> 00:08:19,280
- Try a blanket.
- Alright.
187
00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:22,156
[whispering]
You and me.. Yeah.
188
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,150
- Yeah.
- Blanket.
189
00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:26,103
- Yeah.
- There you go.
190
00:08:26,133 --> 00:08:30,333
Wait, hold on.
I gotta get this right.
191
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,170
Okay, wait-wait a sec..
Wait a sec.
192
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,330
[humming]
Okay.
193
00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:36,350
- Alright--
- Marlon, stop it! Come on.
194
00:08:38,316 --> 00:08:41,246
Yeah. Okay.
195
00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:43,373
Somebody cover me.
I'm goin' in.
196
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,663
Here we go..
197
00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,250
- Whoa-a-a!
- Whoa-a-a!
198
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:54,353
Man, little man,
what did you eat?
199
00:08:54,383 --> 00:08:57,173
- A gyro.
- Whoo!
200
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:01,170
Okay. Steady. Steady.
201
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,370
- So what do I do with this?
- You frame it.
202
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,500
What do you think,
go put it in the dumpster.
203
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:07,380
Alright, well, if I ain't
back
in two minutes
204
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,330
somebody call the paramedics.
205
00:09:09,366 --> 00:09:11,326
Hey, come on, man.
206
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:13,120
Okay, Marlon, you're
up.
You're diapering.
207
00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:15,130
Oh, come on, Lou.
I'm not gonna diaper no baby.
208
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,656
It's very simple,
you just peel the tabs back
209
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,220
and fold them over.
210
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,230
That's all? Just peel the tabs
and fold them over?
211
00:09:20,266 --> 00:09:21,316
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's easy.
212
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:23,330
Any jackass can do that.
213
00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:26,216
Alright, one more.
Come on.
214
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:29,150
I-I think I got this time.
215
00:09:29,183 --> 00:09:31,323
Flap the damn things back.
216
00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:33,380
Lift baby's legs.
217
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,180
Cheeks in the air.
218
00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:37,266
And the knees.
219
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:40,120
Hey, I did it!
220
00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:41,250
Look at..
221
00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:43,223
Hey, clamp. Clamp!
222
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,180
(Marlon)
'Come on, pop,
just look at him.'
223
00:09:47,216 --> 00:09:50,126
I ain't got no time
for no babies.
224
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,326
Come on, pop. Look at..
Look at that little face.
225
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:54,266
How can youresist,
226
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:57,230
Ohh!
227
00:09:57,266 --> 00:09:58,266
He is cute.
228
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,660
Uh, see?
229
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,370
(Pops)
What a strong little man?
230
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000
Goochy-goo.
231
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:06,280
Goobly, goobly, goobly,
goobly-goo.
232
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:08,366
- So will you watch him for
us?
- For how long?
233
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,100
I don't know.
Just till he's in college.
234
00:10:12,283 --> 00:10:14,273
If he's your son,
that might take 40 years.
235
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,330
- Forget it.
- What about ma?
236
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,500
Your mama went to visit
her sister in Detroit, son.
237
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:21,660
And I don't wanna
call her back early.
238
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:25,500
Oh, two whole weeks
of drinkin' and smokin'
239
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:26,330
and, and strip clubs.
240
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:28,996
Your mamasure
how to have a good time.
241
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,160
Great. Now, what
we're supposed to do?
242
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,000
Well, you can always call
social services.
243
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,220
They'll keep the baby till they
can place him in a foster home.
244
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:40,280
Hell, no! My nephew ain't
gonna be in no foster
home.
245
00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:42,156
And neither is my nephew.
246
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,350
Guys, a simple blood test
will tell you
247
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:45,373
who's the father,
and who's the uncle.
248
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,830
Look, if this is my grandson,
he's a Williams
249
00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:51,166
and ain't no Williams
gonna go stay in somehome.
250
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,150
Well, except Grandma Williams.
251
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:55,353
Soon as we find that will.
252
00:10:55,383 --> 00:10:57,663
So what are we suppose
to do now?
253
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,330
Besides keeping
your pants zipped?
254
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:00,170
You should be out
looking for the mother.
255
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,830
That was the first thing
I tried, pop.
256
00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:04,216
I called Tamika's house
and her phone is disconnected.
257
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,380
Yeah, Tyesha, she's so broke,
she ain't never had a phone.
258
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,230
Your bone's gonna be broke
in a minute
259
00:11:08,266 --> 00:11:10,326
if you don't get down here
and man this new stand.
260
00:11:10,366 --> 00:11:11,366
[grunting]
261
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,350
(Marlon)
Hey, Shawn, hold
up.
262
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:16,223
Pops, do you think those boys
263
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:19,500
can raise a kid by themselves?
264
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:20,180
Are you kiddin'?
265
00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:21,276
That poor little
kid
be better off
266
00:11:21,316 --> 00:11:23,096
being raised by wolves.
267
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:26,133
[instrumental music]
268
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,330
Hell,
this baby is
whacked.
269
00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:32,316
All it does is
eat,
sleep and poop.
270
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,350
Like father like son.
271
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:37,333
I'm serious, man.
This thing got me worn out.
272
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:39,150
Me too, that's why it's gonna
feel good to get out
273
00:11:39,183 --> 00:11:40,323
shoot some pool and relax.
274
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,120
Yeah, you're right.
275
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:44,220
Hey, have fun
babysitting Kenny,
alright?
276
00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:46,000
Wait a minute.
You ain't going nowhere.
277
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,100
I ain't babysittin' nothin'.
278
00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:48,373
Well, I can't
babysit.
I got plans.
279
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,230
- What plans?
- I plan not to babysit.
280
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,330
Look, Marlon,
I've done my time, okay?
281
00:11:54,366 --> 00:11:57,326
I fed him. I burped him.
I changed him.
282
00:11:57,660 --> 00:11:58,380
- He wet my shirt.
- He wet my pants!
283
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,150
That wasn't him.
Look, I'm out of here.
284
00:12:02,183 --> 00:12:04,383
Hey, you ain't going
nowhere.
Forget that.
285
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,000
Marlon, look. That's your kid,
you're staying.
286
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,330
He's not my kid, we ain't
gonna know who's kid he is
287
00:12:08,366 --> 00:12:10,196
until we get the blood
test
results back, alright?
288
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:12,183
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm about
to take my own samples.
289
00:12:12,216 --> 00:12:14,166
So what you wanna do?
Come on, man. It's on,
daddy.
290
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,330
- Come on, what you wanna do?
- What's up? What's up?
291
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:19,196
[muttering]
292
00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:21,153
Come on. Come on. Come..
293
00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:28,173
[Kenny babbling]
294
00:12:33,366 --> 00:12:35,196
Did you hear that?
He said my name.
295
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:38,333
- He said "Dada."
- No, you mean he said my name.
296
00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:39,300
- No, he said my name.
- Daddy's coming, Kenny.
297
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:41,663
- Daddy is here.
- Daddy is here.
298
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,230
- Daddy is--
- Daddy is here.
299
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,196
Daddy is here. Yeah.
300
00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:46,373
- Yeah.
- Daddy is right here, Kenny.
301
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:52,276
[instrumental music]
302
00:12:52,316 --> 00:12:54,196
Look at them,
when they left last night
303
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,323
they wouldn't even
look at the baby.
304
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,180
Now, they'reall
the baby like
305
00:12:57,216 --> 00:13:00,376
Oprah used to be
on a piece of fried chicken.
306
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,170
Look at that little smile.
307
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:03,330
(Marlon)
'Look, that's my smile.'
308
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,276
All you need is some teeth
and a moustache
309
00:13:05,316 --> 00:13:07,156
and you'd look just like me.
310
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:10,660
What moustache?
I thought you had a
cold.
311
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:12,350
Besides, I know for a fact
that Kenny takes after me.
312
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,130
Last night when I
was
giving him a bath
313
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:17,276
I discovered he has my manhood.
314
00:13:17,316 --> 00:13:18,366
Oh!
315
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,830
That explains why you have his.
316
00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:25,996
[chuckling]
You two are so fatherly.
317
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:27,350
If you were putting pop
in a sweater
318
00:13:27,383 --> 00:13:29,183
and you got
a couple of Cosby's.
319
00:13:29,216 --> 00:13:33,126
[imitating Bill Cosby]
I would like to talk to
you-u-u
320
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:37,326
about a couple of things
that
you now deserve to know.
321
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,830
[Kenny laughing]
322
00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:42,246
Oh, man, who knew fatherhood
will be like this?
323
00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:44,273
[Kenny crying]
324
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:49,146
Who knew fatherhood
would be like this?
325
00:13:49,183 --> 00:13:52,153
Come on, Kenny, please, it's
two o'clock in the morning,
man.
326
00:13:52,183 --> 00:13:53,303
You gotta go to sleep.
327
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,333
Shh! Come on, Kenny.
328
00:13:56,660 --> 00:13:57,330
Marlon, you gotta do something.
329
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:58,130
We gotta get him back to sleep.
330
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,366
Well, let me,
let me sing to
him.
331
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,160
[Kenny crying]
332
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,320
♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪
333
00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:09,150
♪ In the treetops ♪
334
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:12,233
♪ When the wind blows ♪
335
00:14:12,266 --> 00:14:16,366
♪ The cradle will rock ♪
336
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,200
♪ And ho ho ho ♪
337
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,333
♪ When the bough breaks ♪
338
00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:23,346
[laughing]
339
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,180
♪ That cradle will ♪
340
00:14:28,216 --> 00:14:31,246
♪ Fall ah ha ha ♪
341
00:14:31,283 --> 00:14:33,203
♪ And ♪
342
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:35,303
♪ Down will come ♪
343
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,123
♪ I said down ♪
344
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,320
♪ I said down ♪
345
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:42,270
♪ I said do-o-own ♪
346
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,180
♪ Here come baby ♪
347
00:14:45,216 --> 00:14:48,116
♪ Cradle and.. ♪
348
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,380
[no audio]
349
00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:02,120
♪ A-a-a-ll ♪♪
350
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,230
Thank you.
351
00:15:04,183 --> 00:15:06,283
[Kenny crying]
352
00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:10,326
(Shawn)
Wocky-wocky says it's time
for all 'the little boys
353
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:11,270
and girls to go to sleep.
354
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,220
Ain't that right, girl?
355
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:15,280
Right on, bruh.
356
00:15:15,316 --> 00:15:17,996
Boo, boo, youstink!
357
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,230
'Boo, boo.'
358
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:22,246
[grunting]
359
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,383
[Kenny crying]
360
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,330
[birds chirping]
361
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:33,370
[alarm buzzing]
362
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,380
[Kenny crying]
363
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,346
[both crying]
364
00:15:43,216 --> 00:15:45,826
(Marlon)
'Now, I know
this kid is mine.'
365
00:15:45,116 --> 00:15:47,346
'Because he likes to stay up
all night and sleep all day.'
366
00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:49,283
I wonder what
he's
dreamin' about.
367
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:51,296
Probably a tiny
little
Halle Berry.
368
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:53,103
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
369
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:55,663
He's dreaming about
that big NBA contract
370
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:56,180
he's gonna get, huh?
371
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,116
Yeah, you're gonna make
millions
and support us
372
00:15:58,150 --> 00:15:59,330
for the rest our life.
373
00:15:59,366 --> 00:16:02,146
Yes, he is. Yes, he is.
374
00:16:02,183 --> 00:16:04,283
No, he's not! No, he's not.
375
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:06,996
Kenny's gonna get a scholarship
to Harvard University.
376
00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:08,230
That boy has a brain,
and I want him to use
it.
377
00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:11,156
Who needs brains when you got
a product endorsement?
378
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,330
Damn! Check her out.
379
00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:21,826
- Look like she about to pop.
- Shh.
380
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:22,196
Don't talk like that, Marlon.
381
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:25,163
She's at the peak
of her womanhood.
382
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,160
Hey, madam. Are you okay?
383
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,830
Would you like a glass of
water
or chair or something?
384
00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:31,176
[chuckling]
N-no thanks.
385
00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:33,156
You're gonna love
being a mother.
386
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,830
I mean it's a lot of work..
387
00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:36,346
...but it's all worth it.
388
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:39,253
Do you know you-you're having
a boy or a girl?
389
00:16:39,283 --> 00:16:42,333
Or maybe twins?
390
00:16:42,660 --> 00:16:44,000
I'm not pregnant!
391
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,330
And you never will be
with that attitude!
392
00:16:51,366 --> 00:16:54,366
[instrumental music]
393
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:02,346
(in unison)
Surprise!
394
00:17:02,383 --> 00:17:05,233
- Ha ha.
- You guys.
395
00:17:05,266 --> 00:17:07,126
We got something for kiddie!
396
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,216
♪ Tada-a-a ♪♪
397
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:12,370
Hey, look a little crib
with kente cloth.
398
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,500
Y'all shouldn't have.
399
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:15,250
We all chipped in.
400
00:17:15,283 --> 00:17:17,203
Well, most of us.
401
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,373
Come on, let's get
this party started.
402
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000
Come on. Open the gifts.
403
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:23,280
- Mine, first!
- Let me see.
404
00:17:23,316 --> 00:17:27,116
- What did Lou get us?
- What did little Lou get
us?
405
00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:28,120
Freeze!
406
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:32,160
Oh-h-h! A little cop uniform!
407
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,280
- Look here.
- Ah-h-h!
408
00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,116
Wait a minute, wait a
minute,
what is it, Lou?
409
00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:36,270
One of your hand-me-downs?
410
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,370
[laughing]
411
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,280
I also have a gift
for young Kenny.
412
00:17:41,316 --> 00:17:43,826
Really?
413
00:17:43,116 --> 00:17:45,316
- Ain't that somethin'?
- Uh-uh-huh.
414
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:48,500
Whoo! These are cool!
415
00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:50,350
What a cute little booty.
416
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:53,303
Oh, thank you.
417
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,283
I owe it all to StairMaster.
418
00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:58,096
Hey, y'all,
really, this-this
party
419
00:17:58,133 --> 00:17:59,323
is really phat.
Appreciate it.
420
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:03,150
On behalf of me
and my little man,
Kenny
421
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,203
we wanna say thank you.
422
00:18:05,233 --> 00:18:08,663
Say thank you. Say
thank..
Say thank you.
423
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,280
Thank you, Uncle Marlon.
424
00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:12,276
And Kenny's dad would like
to thank you guys also.
425
00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:14,196
Come on, man,
Shawn, let's be
real.
426
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:15,333
It doesn't matter
what
them blood test say
427
00:18:15,366 --> 00:18:17,656
when it come back.
428
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:18,320
We're gonna love
this little baby
forever.
429
00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:20,500
- Ain't that right?
- Yeah, you're right about
that.
430
00:18:20,830 --> 00:18:23,000
- Ain't that right?
- Yeah, man.
431
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,220
Hey, what's goin' on here?
432
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,370
What the hell are
you
doing with my baby?
433
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,270
Who are you, girl?
434
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,330
I'm Tracy Mathews.
I'm Kenny's mother.
435
00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:33,366
I don't think so.
I ain't never gone out with
you.
436
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:37,000
- Marlon, you?
- I don't think so.
437
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,200
- Take off your clothes.
- What are you talking about?
438
00:18:40,233 --> 00:18:42,663
Where's Michael?
439
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:44,120
What are you people doing here?
440
00:18:44,150 --> 00:18:46,350
- We live here, girl.
- And who is Michael?
441
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,120
My ex-husband,
he stopped paying child
support
442
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:51,330
so I left him the baby
to teach him a lesson.
443
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:53,496
You left him in the hallway.
444
00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:54,370
This is the address he gave me.
445
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,170
And I saw Michael pick him up.
446
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,330
That was me!
447
00:18:58,660 --> 00:19:01,250
Oh, my God!
Oh, what have I done?
448
00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:03,373
You're lucky you left him
with these guys.
449
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
Somebody else would've
called social services
450
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:07,300
and you'd never
see
this baby again.
451
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:12,103
Look...I'm sorry
I caused so much trouble.
452
00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:14,133
I made a mistake!
453
00:19:14,166 --> 00:19:17,276
A bad one, but...Kenny is my son
454
00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:19,996
and I love him.
455
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:21,380
And no one's gonna
take him away from me.
456
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,830
Okay, okay. Calm down.
457
00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:25,116
Ain't nobody taking
your son from you.
458
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:26,370
I guess you could have
the rest of these gifts.
459
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,660
I mean we ain't gonna have
no use for 'em.
460
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:33,000
Except for rubber
ducky.
Sucky-ducky.
461
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:35,300
Thank you.
462
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:38,383
And thanks for taking
such good care of Kenny.
463
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,170
No problem.
Take care of yourself.
464
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:46,233
Can we say goodbye to him?
465
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:48,246
Of course.
466
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,370
- Come here, little man.
- Hey, man.
467
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,500
- Come here, little man.
- Hey, man.
468
00:19:56,830 --> 00:19:57,300
Yeah!
469
00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:01,233
Yeah. Hey, remember.
470
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:04,376
Always say your prayers
and brush your teeth.
471
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,150
At least when you get some.
472
00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:08,153
[Kenny babbling]
473
00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:13,253
- Bye-bye.
- Okay.
474
00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:15,333
Well, you take good care
of yourself, okay?
475
00:20:15,366 --> 00:20:17,156
Yeah, good luck.
476
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,250
- Hey, little Kenny..
- Hey, man..
477
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,183
Uh, could I have my baby?
478
00:20:21,216 --> 00:20:23,166
- Oh! Our bad.
- Our bad.
479
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,180
- There you go.
- Bye, man.
480
00:20:26,216 --> 00:20:29,326
Shh. I know you
don't wanna go.
481
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:30,380
We'll help you
carry
this stuff down.
482
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,380
- Monique?
- Oh!
483
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,660
Okay, fine.
484
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,100
[sighing]
485
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,370
Let's go.
486
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,170
Remember, he likes strained
peaches, not carrot.
487
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,280
I know.
488
00:20:43,316 --> 00:20:46,326
Hey, uh, you mind
if I come visit sometime?
489
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:49,346
Oh, you can come and visit him
whenever
490
00:20:49,383 --> 00:20:51,303
Not him. You.
491
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:54,003
[chuckling]
492
00:20:54,330 --> 00:20:55,100
Goodbye.
493
00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:00,096
[sighing]
494
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,233
I'm-I'm sorry, boys.
495
00:21:02,266 --> 00:21:04,276
I'm really sorry.
I'm so sorry.
496
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,180
[door closing]
497
00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:08,296
Sorry for what?
498
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,273
- I mean we are free men now.
- Mm-hmm.
499
00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:13,250
No more wakin' up
in the middle of the night.
500
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:15,383
No moredrool!
501
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,100
And no, no more cleaning
up
the most stinkin'
502
00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:21,833
sour milk bottles
or picking up that little
nasty
503
00:21:21,116 --> 00:21:23,656
saliva filledpacifier.
504
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:24,180
- Or changing diapers!
- Changing diapers!
505
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,266
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
506
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,200
- Great, man.
- Whoo!
507
00:21:27,233 --> 00:21:28,253
Yeah, okay. Face it.
508
00:21:28,283 --> 00:21:29,333
We're better off this way.
509
00:21:29,366 --> 00:21:32,116
- Yeah, true that.
- True that. True that.
510
00:21:32,150 --> 00:21:33,220
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
511
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,200
[both chuckling]
512
00:21:44,233 --> 00:21:45,223
Shawn.
513
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,830
What?
514
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,330
[sniffling]
515
00:21:51,366 --> 00:21:54,116
[sobbing]
Can we get a puppy?
516
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:02,283
We just want you guys to know
that no babies were mishandled
517
00:22:02,316 --> 00:22:04,316
or injured during
the tapin' of this
program.
518
00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:07,150
And every precautions was taken
to ensure the safety
519
00:22:07,183 --> 00:22:08,153
of the little ones.
520
00:22:08,183 --> 00:22:11,173
That's right because..
521
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,200
Oops!
522
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:15,133
- Ha-a-a!
- Ha ha.
523
00:22:15,166 --> 00:22:17,226
- It's a doll! See.
- It's a dummy.
524
00:22:17,266 --> 00:22:20,266
Can we ever do this
to a real baby, huh?
525
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:23,270
- Hey, Shawn, go long.
- I'm goin' for the bar.
526
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:27,270
- Oh.
- Oh! Sorry.
527
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:30,160
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon.Say cheese.
37440
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