Original subtitles

Yo, check it out.

I finally fixed the toaster.

- What? - Yeah.

Oh, my God! No!

Damn! The last Pop-Tart!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright. Cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite, that is..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪♪

[instrumental music]

You haven't missed one question yet.

You're doing great, baby.

Watch, girl, I'm gonna pass that courier's exam, you'll see.

I'm gonna be climbing my way up that corporate ladder

all the way up to dispatcher.

Next question.

Okay. "An employee shows up

who you believe has been drinking.."

Does he have blood on his hands?

No.

"Do you A, report him to your superior.

"B, look the other way and let him drive the truck.

or C, accept his $20 bill

in return for your silence?"

That must be a old manual

'cause everybody knows you get a $100

for your silence now.

Shawn, come on.

Alright, alright, I'm only playing, girl.

Alright, let's put all this work down.

Too much work. You know that old saying?

All work and no play

keeps a brother...hor-nay?

Heh, heh.

Ahem!

[thud]

Puh, puh.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Mwah, mwah.

Marlon, is there something you'd like to share with us?

Besides your bony ass?

Shawn, I've finally found

my special purpose.

I thought you found that when you were 13.

I'm...gonna be a model.

[Shawn laughing]

For what? Benetton in Somalia?

I was walking by the Barri Simone School of Modeling

and their teacher told me

that I was a natural.

Marlon, they only tell you that to take your money.

[mocks]

Yeah, and Shawn just tells you he loves you to get some--

Hey!

Hold on, now.. Hey, stop.

Now, where'd you get the money for these classes anyway?

I just used the $300

Aunt Daisy left me when she died.

Marlon, that was all the money you had in the world.

Don't worry about it.

We got a lot more comin' in.

Uncle Leon got a prostate the size of a pumpkin.

I think you're wasting your money

with these modeling classes.

No, I'm not.

This is an investment in my future.

See, I could be traveling to London

Paris, Mogadishu.

I could be Eurotrash, baby.

[laughing]

You see how stupid you are?

Mogadishu isn't even in Europe.

Oh, yeah? Well, where is it then?

[scoffing] It's right over in, uh..

It's over-over..

Well, wouldn't you like to know?

Look, the point is you're getting ripped off.

And now, I'm gonna go down there and I'mma get your money back.

No, Shawn! Come on. Please!

Don't do that to a brother, man. This is my dream.

This is somethin' I really wanna do, Shawn.

Please don't go get my money back.

Alright, if it means that much to you

I promise I won't.

- Thank you, bro. - Alright, man.

Mwah, now, if y'all willexcusez-moi..

[clearing throat] ...I have to go get myself

beautified before class.

Make myself smooth all over.

Time for a little bikini wax.

Damn, this is gonna hurt.

He's throwin' all that money away, Shawn.

How could you promise him you wouldn't go down there?

I lied. I do it all the time.

Oh-oh, but not to you, girl.

[Marlon screaming]

'Oh, Lordy! Lord Jesus!'

'Lordy! Lordy! Lordy!'

You're a natural. I'll see you tomorrow in class.

Stay away from those Oreos.

Mm-mm! Look at that dress.

Now, somewhere there's a midget missin' a sock.

- May I help you? - Yeah.

Who do I talk to about a refund policy?

We don't have a refund policy.

Well, who do I talk to about a lawsuit?

- Classic features. - Huh?

You have such classic features.

- Really? - Yes!

Your eyes.

Your nose.

Your mouth.

You are so beautiful!

[chuckling] Well, you know, what can I say?

I'm serious.

Are those your real teeth?

Are those your real breasts?

So those are caps, but that's okay.

You're still a natural.

- Let's try something. - Okay.

Sit.

I'm going to say an emotion

and I want you to express it

using only your face.

Okay.

Show me anger.

[growling]

- 'Come on, get mad.' - Grrr!

- 'Get mad.' - Grrr! Arrr! Rar!

Great. Great.

Show me happiness.

'Happy.'

- 'Happy.' - Ha, ha, ha.

- 'Happy.' - Ha, ha, ha.

Great. Happy.

[laughing] Yeah.

After a few of our classes

you can become a successful model

in the exciting world of high fashion.

- Really? - Yes.

I see you on the Champs-Elysees wearin' Armani.

And I see you buck naked standing at the bus stop

suckin' on a lollipop.

If you just sign..

...we can start turning

your fantasy into reality.

You know Vanessa Del Rio?

Oh!

[instrumental music]

Hey. How you doing?

Cup of coffee. Two waffles.

You had our special, the rooty-tooty big fat booty.

Hey, might I also interest you in a solid gold dukie chain

that says Marcedes-Benz?

No? I've got something for you from our video collection.

Look at this, look at this, look here.

"Heavy D, Barry White.

"Fat Boys In The Hood."

Bald-headed cheapskate.

I'm glad I sneezed on your waffle.

Guess what, Pops, I just joined

the Barri Simone School of Modeling.

- You did what? - I'm gonna be a model, pop.

My teacher Kika thinks I'm a natural.

I'm gonna kick-a your natural black ass.

Have you lost your mind?

Ain't no son of mine gonna be paradin' around

half-naked, posing for photos.

Those pictures can end up in prison, son.

[clanking]

What the hell's wrong with him?

Don't ask me, you're the one

that let him eat those paint chips.

Is that why he's throwing pots back there?

No, he's just mad at me

'cause I joined his modeling class.

Him too?

See, I told your mother

I should've got you some hookers

when you turned 14.

Look, Shawn.

This modeling class was my idea, okay?

And you stole it from me.

You're always stealing from me.

I remember you stole my G.I. Joe.

You stole my girlfriend

and worst of all

I remember when I found Little Lucky

wanderin' the streets all alone.

I took him home and I gave him a flea bath..

[sobbing] ...and you stole him too.

Marlon, Lucky was a wino!

[sobbing] Yeah, but he was my wino, Shawn!

Mine, I tell ya!

And you're not stealing this from me.

Look, Marlon, I don't care what you say.

You're not keeping me out of that class.

Yeah, and why not?

I'm the one with all the talent.

You're just gonna be a delivery boy

for the rest of your rotten life.

That's right.

You're stuck in the brown suit, baby!

Alright. Ha, ha, ha.

- That was funny. - Yeah?

Yeah, huh?

Mr. Busboy, huh?

Huh?

[sputtering] Package man!

Onion dicer!

Doo-doo brown suit!

Doo-doo brown suit!

Doo-doo brown suit!

Doo-doo brown suit!

- Hamburger helper! - Doo-doo brown suit!

♪ You need a helpin' hand ♪♪

- Doo-doo brown suit. - Hey! Hey! Hey!

[indistinct]

Let me take off my belt..

I still got it.

Yes!

Look above the crowd!

Suck in that stomach!

Tighten those butts!

Oh. Take five.

Wow! That's Maxwell Blair, the designer.

Maybe today's my big chance to be discovered.

Fat chance, Flabio.

Shawn, would you come here please?

Ah, did you say "Shawn?"

Or "Marlonuh?"

Shawn!

Oh, uh! The two sound so much alike.

Don't they? Yeah.

Shawn, I'd like you to meet Maxwell Blair.

I've been telling him about you.

- Really? - Shawn, let me be blunt.

I'd be willing to pay a lot of money

to see you in my pants.

[laughing] Sorry, I got a girlfriend, pal.

I want you to model my new line of clothes

in my fashion show tomorrow night.

Really? I would love..

He would love to, but he's busy

tomorrow night.

I'm-I'm all yours though..

Actually, I am not busy

and I would love to model for you tomorrow night.

Well, fabulous!

And if you do well, you very well

could be the next Maxwell Blair supermodel.

Come. Learn from me.

- 'Fame.' - Ow.

Supermodel?

Supermodel? He's a super thief!

[sobbing] First, Lucky the wino and now this?

- Oh, Marlon! - Don't touch me!

And shave your back!

- Guess what, Pops? - What?

I just got a booking at a major fashion show tonight!

You what? Shut up!

We don't want the whole neighborhood to hear.

No. This is good news.

See, if I do well

I could be makin' up to a $1,000 an hour.

A $1,000 an hour?

A $1,000 an hour!

What kind of tricks are you turnin', boy?

I'm just modeling.

They're paying just to look at me.

Now, you promise me something if you make it big.

I know, I know. Take Marlon with me.

Oh, no, no, no. The hell with that.

I want a Cadillac.

I want a gold tooth.

And I want an uptown apartment

your mother knows nothing about.

(in unison) Ditty-di.

- Lisa! - Don't Lisa me!

Shawn, I got your message about the fashion show.

You're supposed to be taking your courier exam.

[exhaling] Baby, I don't need to be taking no stupid courier exam.

With all the money I'm gonna be makin' modeling

I'm gonna be able to buy you anything you want.

Besides..

...I'm much too good-looking

to be a dispatcher.

But, Shawn, I don't even know

if I like the idea of you modeling.

I mean, what happens if you really make it big

and girls start throwing themselves at you?

- What will happen to us? - We'll split up.

I'm only playing, girl. Come on! I was just joking around.

[grunting and spitting]

Marlon, you're late.

Deadbeat kid.

You ain't gonna get no job better than this.

You ain't like your brother Shawn.

Ain't nobody gonna spend a $1,000 to look at you.

Now, get in the kitchen and dump the fat bucket.

I'll dump the fat bucket, alright.

Hey, hey, Marlon.

Release all that anger, man.

Stop it.

We all have to accept our gifts.

I mean I was blessed with talent..

...and you were blessed

with a brother that has talent.

See, you're our family's very own...Tito.

Ah, see, this isn't even fair, man.

You got everything, Shawn!

You got to be born first. You look like Pops.

I look like mom, Shawn!

Now this?

Shoot.

When is it my turn to shine?

♪ It's all I want is a little light ♪

♪ To shine on me ♪♪

Alright, look, Fievel.

If you don't want me to do the fashion show..

...just tell me.

I don't want you to do the fashion show.

Forget you! I'm doin' it!

I don't understand this.

I finally get a chance to do somethin' great

and ain't nobody backing me up!

I'll back you up, son.

You just remember to back that El Dorado up in my garage!

Thanks, pop. I knew I could count on your greedy behind.

(in unison) Ditty-di.

[laughing]

Well, I'm off to my fashion show.

Anybody coming with me?

Lisa...you comin'?

[sighing]

Marlon?

So be it...peasant.

Here's a few shillings. Go get yourself some stew.

Well, I'm off to do my show. Come, Lisa.

And I don't want your stupid money!

I do.

Those El Dorados are gas-guzzlers.

[instrumental music]

Maxwell..

...this is Shawn's father.

Howdy do?

Well..

...he must be Shawn's father.

The resemblance is unmistakable.

Oh, but you should have seen me in my day.

I was pretty as a schoolgirl.

[Maxwell laughing]

Let me ask you a question.

What kind of underpants do you wear?

Hi, sweet mouth. What's your name?

Marlon, how did you get in here?

I just told them I was Grace Jones.

Look, Shawn, I just came by

to apologize and wish you luck.

Why?

Well, after you left the restaurant

I went home to burn all your stuff..

...and underneath all the ashes, I found this picture.

Remember that?

Remember how you used to ride me

on the handlebars of your bike?

And then that one day you stopped short

and I went flying down the block?

[laughing]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That bus came out of nowhere, boy!

Yeah.

That's the last picture of me

when my head was still round.

Yeah, those were the days.

Ooh.

Well, look, Shawn, you was right, kid.

This is your big shot..

...and I wanna be there for you.

Thanks, kid, but I'm busy now.

Shawn, Shawn! Shawn, come on. You're on right now.

Come, come, come.

Come, come, come.

Alright. Collar up.

[Right Said Fred performing "I'm Too Sexy"]

[cheering]

[whistling]

That's my boy, everybody! That's my son right there.

Look it, that's my son.

[applause]

Thief!

You stole my spotlight.

They should be loving me!

Me, I tell ya!

[no audio]

[applause]

God! He's hot!

You're not his type. Back off, grandma.

Grandma's done things you haven't even thought of.

Yeah, probably with Frederick Douglass.

Hush up! That's my son up there!

[cheering]

Ooh, aah!

What the hell is that?

I don't know, but he's not my boy!

What are you doing here?

I'm stealing my spotlight.

This is my destiny!

You look like a gay Aladdin.

Oh, it is on now, Miss Thing!

[applause]

[woman exclaiming]

God! Are you crazy? That's silk!

[laughing]

Well, uh, sorry, everyone

but as you can see, uh, we must stop.

Hey, hey, hey! Keep your hand off my boy!

'Wait a minute, boys! Wait a minute!'

[indistinct]

Hey, Shawn..

...I just wanna apologize

if I ruined your modeling debut.

Ah, it's alright, kid.

I never should have been there in the first place.

I guess I got caught up in what I thought

it would mean for me and Lisa.

Well...aren't you gonna say, "I told you so?"

No, Shawn, I'm not gonna say how you had a chance

to take that courier test and get a promotion.

But no, you had to be a big star

and spend $300, paradin' around

crushing your brother's dreams and tossing my feelings aside!

You must feel so rotten and miserable right now

I don't think I could bring myself to say the words

"I told you so!"

Well, damn, baby. You sure can suck in some air.

Hey, look, I'll make it up to both of you guys.

[scoffing] You don't have to make anything up to me.

Good, 'cause I didn't have anything for you.

But I got something for you.

(Marlon) 'Lucky!'

Oh, I haven't seen you in years!

Come here, you wino you!

Come on give me a hug, you bum you!

Come here, Lucky!

Ah, Lucky!

(Marlon) 'Uh!'

See? Now we are all happy.

I got my Lucky

you got your man back..

...and pop got his contract.

Maxwell Blair's jockey thong.

For the man who's packing a li-i-ittle bit more.

Yes, sir!

A li-i-ittle bit more.

[laughing]

[mumbling]

It sure was good seeing old Lucky, huh?

Yeah, it sure was.

You know, except for his teeth

he ain't changed much.

Oh, God, yeah.

It's hard to believe he's only 23.

- Want some more ripple? - Ah, no, thanks.

None for me.

I just got to get some more flea powder.

- Whoo! - Ooh!

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese!"