All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation (2009) - S03E15 - The Bubble (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:11,071 Hey, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever in her new part-time job 2 00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:14,705 in the Public Health Department at City Hall, it's Ann Meredith Perkins! Yay! 3 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,715 Leslie, this is so nice! 4 00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:18,579 I put a poisonous gas in one of these balloons, 5 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,710 so if any of them pops, you may die. 6 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:23,221 No, April, we would all die. 7 00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:27,316 Gases fill the volume of whatever container they're in. 8 00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:28,554 School. 9 00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:30,994 We have activities every hour on your first day. 10 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,396 10:00 am, "Ann's first day waffle explosion." 11 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:35,934 11:00 a.m., "The start-paperwork jamboree." 12 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:40,063 And then 12:00 noon sharp is the inaugural "D-Ann-ce Party." 13 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,571 Welcome to City Hall, cupcake! 14 00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,133 How many of you are in here? - There's seven. 15 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,271 And you have an office mate. His name is Stuart, and he's kind of a grouch. 16 00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,906 I have an office mate? 17 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,110 Get these balloons out of here. 18 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,484 Hi, I'm Ann. 19 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,066 Hey. Hey. 20 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:19,043 Just to let you know, I gave the senior center project to Donna. 21 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,807 Sounds good. The meeting's at 2:00? 22 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,472 Yes. Conference room "C". 23 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,483 Okay. I think at some point, 24 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:27,145 you and I should probably make out with each other. 25 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:28,278 Yeah, good call. 26 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:30,546 The best part of any relationship is the beginning. 27 00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,482 No problems, no fights. 28 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,255 Just white wine, cuddling, 29 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:39,492 and crazy amounts of History Channel documentaries. 30 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,430 Hey, we should take separate cars to the restaurant tonight. 31 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:45,266 Chris is deadly serious about this... I know. 32 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:48,466 I just don't wanna talk about it, okay? I'll see you tonight. 33 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:53,906 Okay. By the way, I have a meeting with Marlene Griggs-Knope. 34 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,347 Is that any relation? 35 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,705 No. 36 00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,808 Oh, okay. 37 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,080 Just a coincidence. We get it all the time. We laugh about it. 38 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,649 But I've never met her. 39 00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,918 She's Filipino. Okay, bye. 40 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,152 Why don't you just tell Ben she's your mother? 41 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,324 Because Ben and I are in this amazing little bubble right now, 42 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,026 and there's no room in here 43 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:18,935 for Chris' stupid rules about us not dating or my ball-busting mother. 44 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:21,940 Leslie, I'm sorry, but I don't think you thought this through. 45 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,873 You know what I should do? I should get my mother 46 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,911 a one-way ticket to London, leaving today. 47 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,571 And that way, Ben never has to meet her 48 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,343 and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins. 49 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,884 What if he sees a picture of her on your desk? 50 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,079 What if Marlene says, "Hey, have you met my daughter, Leslie? 51 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,554 "She works in the Parks Department." 52 00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,620 Stuart, please, could you give us, like, 45 minutes? 53 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,861 It's my office, too. Stuart. 54 00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:45,223 That guy was rude. 55 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,365 I feel that some structural changes 56 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,458 could really unlock this department's potential. 57 00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:51,397 Jerry. Mmm? 58 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,666 I believe you are capable of much more. 59 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:55,634 I'm not. Nonsense. 60 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,198 Look in the mirror. Huh? 61 00:02:57,377 --> 00:03:02,076 You are an intelligent, charismatic, beautiful superhero. 62 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,048 I'm making you head of Public Relations, 63 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,711 which means you'll be leading the daily briefing sessions. 64 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:07,912 Excellent idea. 65 00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:12,083 This is my favorite part about having a new city manager. 66 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:15,355 They always try to shake things up, and their ideas are terrible, 67 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:18,953 and it brings City Hall to a grinding halt. 68 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,490 I just grab a few donuts, sit back, and enjoy the show. 69 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,527 April, you are too valuable 70 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,368 to just be Ron's assistant. 71 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,908 So from now on, you are a multitasking executive aide, 72 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:31,576 assisting the entire office. 73 00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:33,305 Is this a nightmare? 74 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,710 April, wake up. 75 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,106 Tom, I just wanna say 76 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:40,585 that you are a wonderful employee and a terrific human being. 77 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,051 Meeting adjourned! 78 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,653 Tom. 79 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,982 I enjoy you. 80 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,424 You know what else I enjoy? Your entrepreneurial spirit. 81 00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:51,389 I did recently sell my Chronicles of Riddick DVD 82 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,125 on eBay for $10. 83 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:54,928 Used the profits to buy the Blu-ray. 84 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,162 That's terrific. I have an amazing project 85 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,431 for someone of your talents. 86 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,234 You are going to digitize 87 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:02,536 the entire city archives up on the fourth floor. 88 00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,169 No! I hate the fourth floor! Last time I was up there, 89 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,510 I saw someone buy crystal meth out of a vending machine. It's a bad place. 90 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,276 You won't be alone. Andy. 91 00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,481 Starting now, you are nobody's shoeshine boy. 92 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,985 Starting now, you are an administrative assistant. 93 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,991 For three weeks. Then back to shoes. 94 00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,084 Chris! 95 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,389 I wasn't super paying attention 96 00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:24,757 to what you just said that we'll be doing, 97 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,264 but I will give 110 percent! 98 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,561 Well, as soon as you repeat yourself in a more interesting way. 99 00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,496 Hey, Ben. 100 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:33,765 Hey, what's up? 101 00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,704 Nothing much. Since I'm here, I just wanted to let you know 102 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,299 that Marlene Griggs-Knope is my mom. 103 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,908 What? Why... 104 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,072 Also, she can be cruel and difficult, 105 00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,672 and she makes snap judgments about people 106 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,340 that she holds on to for a very long time. 107 00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,476 And she's kind of a bully. 108 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,179 Okay! Go in there, you're gonna be great. 109 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:51,189 God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Here. Sorry! 110 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,419 Hello. 111 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,790 I'm Mr. Ben Wyatt. 112 00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,990 Looks like you got some shirt on your coffee. 113 00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,860 Yeah. You know what happened? 114 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:02,162 I spilled it, but you know how it goes. 115 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,127 Fun anecdote. 116 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:07,437 The county school district needs four new school buses. 117 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,407 I'm being stonewalled by the board, 118 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:11,476 and I'm hoping your office can help us out. 119 00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:12,806 Okay. 120 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,171 Really? That's it? 121 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:18,308 Yeah. Actually, no. It... 122 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,543 It's probably not possible. 123 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,119 Then I'm confused, Ben, 124 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:24,180 because you just told me it was. 125 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,417 Five seconds ago. 126 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:29,425 I got a second box of donuts, if anybody... 127 00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:31,996 What the is this? 128 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,966 This, Mr. Director, is your new desk. 129 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,326 Okay. 130 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,994 This desk is the epitome 131 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,665 of the Swedish concept of j�mst�lldhet, 132 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,367 or "equality." 133 00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,773 Imagine someone needs your attention. 134 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:44,867 Somebody say my name. 135 00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:45,968 Chris. 136 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,438 Swivel! What is it, Jerry? 137 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,004 You told me to say your name. 138 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,573 And you did a great job, superstar. 139 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,211 Someone else say something. 140 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,310 You look like a freak. 141 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:55,854 Swivel! 142 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:57,753 April, that is not a very good attitude. 143 00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,621 I will keep my eye on you 144 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,626 from my circular desk where I can see everything. 145 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,094 Tiny swivel. See how it works? 146 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:08,057 What about my office and its many walls? 147 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:10,601 That becomes a new public waiting room. 148 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,467 And we got rid of that giant pillar 149 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,436 that was in front of your door. 150 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:15,735 I loved that pillar. 151 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,833 It made it really annoying to stand in my doorway. 152 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:20,240 Well, get over it, because it's gone. 153 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:23,479 You're gonna be more accessible than ever. 154 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,917 The fourth floor. Small claims court, 155 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,355 divorce filings, state-ordered drug tests. 156 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:35,125 It's somehow both freezing and humid. 157 00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,025 There's a whole room on the fourth floor 158 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,097 where they store the knives they've confiscated from people 159 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,292 who went to the fourth floor to stab someone. 160 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:45,102 You from Parks and Rec? Yeah. 161 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,162 I'm here to show you around. 162 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,371 Nice to meet you, ma'am. What's your name? 163 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:52,411 Ethel Beavers. Follow me. 164 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:55,576 Okay, this is you. 165 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:57,477 Oh, wow! 166 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,911 Double computers? 167 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,944 I get my own office phone. 168 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,249 Hello, Wall Street. 169 00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:05,483 Buy more stocks. Now. 170 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,889 This phone kind of smells like a butt. 171 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,586 Try not to move things around. 172 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:12,028 Because technically speaking, this is still a crime scene. 173 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,690 Here's your name tags. 174 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,592 Here. 175 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:17,994 Ethel, this shirt is from Theory. 176 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,004 Name tags make holes. I'm not wearing this. 177 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,629 Do what you want. 178 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:25,005 Bye, Ethel! Damn it. 179 00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,075 Remind me next time to ask her where she was when Lincoln got shot. 180 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:31,742 "Remind... Tom... Ask... Something." 181 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,312 You got it, boss. 182 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,985 Hey! Somebody made somebody a mix! 183 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,852 And I definitely heard your feedback from last time, 184 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:40,916 so I only put five Sarah McLachlan songs on this one. 185 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:43,757 Cool. Should we talk about how you claimed your mom 186 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,730 was a Filipino woman you'd never met? 187 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:46,890 Should we? 188 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,659 I was just trying to delay the inevitable. 189 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,132 If this turns into something real, 190 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,538 then we are gonna have to deal with Chris' rule, 191 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:58,667 and parents, and annoying flossing habits, 192 00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:00,371 and a lot of un-fun stuff. 193 00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,141 But not yet. 194 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,911 I just want to enjoy the bubble for a little while. 195 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,209 I'm sorry. 196 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,652 Everything's good? No, it's not. 197 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,657 I was completely flustered. I came off like an idiot. 198 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:14,324 I mean, at one point, for no reason, 199 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:16,827 I just took off my shoes and held them in my hand. 200 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,092 I'm gonna go ask her how it went, and I bet she loved you. 201 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,859 I loved him! 202 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:26,295 He's a total pushover. 203 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,431 Very odd guy, though. 204 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,773 He's like a goofy, spineless jellyfish. 205 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,746 Why do you ask, sweetheart? 206 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,745 No reason. 207 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,315 Don't worry about it. It's totally fine. 208 00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:41,648 No, it's not fine. 209 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,383 What if she starts going around telling people I'm a pushover? 210 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:45,651 No one's gonna believe that. 211 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,592 When I first met you, I thought you were a fascist hard-ass. 212 00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,686 What? A cute fascist hard-ass, 213 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,993 but still, you give off a very... 214 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,935 Education Department now officially requesting 10 school buses. 215 00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,500 I thought they only wanted four. 216 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,769 Well, now that I'm a pushover, why not ask for 10, or 20, 217 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,811 or 100 new school buses and a fleet of school yachts? 218 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,971 How about that? Here's what we're gonna do. 219 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,608 You are gonna tell me everything there is to know about your mom. 220 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,345 And I'm gonna have another meeting with her, 221 00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:14,477 and we're gonna have it out. 222 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,579 Or we could go to Belize 223 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,954 and go scuba diving. And we could look at the whale sharks. 224 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:20,890 You're certified, right? Let's get you certified. 225 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,994 April, do you have that usage report that I asked for? 226 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,031 Anything for you, Jerry. 227 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:34,400 Thank you. 228 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,907 Oh, come on. Why? 229 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,277 Excuse me. 230 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:42,974 There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says "Do not drink the sprinkler water," 231 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,643 so I made sun tea with it, and now I have an infection. 232 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,219 Sir? 233 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:51,615 Sir, are... Are you listening to me, sir? 234 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,159 Sir, I'm talking to you! 235 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:55,557 Sir! 236 00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:57,653 Sir, are you aware 237 00:09:57,730 --> 00:10:01,928 that there is waste in your water system? 238 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,834 Okay, you need to be strong, powerful, decisive. 239 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,929 This is not a meeting. It's a battle. 240 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,974 Normal meeting rules do not apply. 241 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,874 I'll be my mom and I'm gonna be very harsh with you, 242 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,206 and it's only because I like you a lot. 243 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,140 Okay. Go! 244 00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,342 Hello. Wrong. 245 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,409 What? No preambles. No introductions. 246 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,886 Just walk in and start talking. 247 00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,423 I'd like to discuss the new school bus. 248 00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,949 I'd like to discuss your rhyming, Dr. Seuss. 249 00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,195 And you should be sitting by now. What? 250 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:32,389 Just walk in and take a seat. 251 00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:35,533 Um... "Um" is the sound in "dumb." 252 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,761 That's what she says to people. 253 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:38,463 And now you've crossed your legs like a woman. 254 00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,164 God! Okay, should we just start over? 255 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:42,002 No. No, we need to put a pin in this. 256 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:46,101 Here is a list of my mother's top 100 favorite conversation topics, 257 00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,476 starting with Persian rugs, ending with Daniel Craig. 258 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,742 You have 10 minutes to memorize it. 259 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,008 Deliverance, the movie? Mmm-hmm. 260 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:54,245 Oh, God. 261 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,982 So Jerry is, like, basically my boss now, 262 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,785 which I'm never gonna work for him. 263 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:01,122 Ron's trapped in this weird desk prison, 264 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:04,390 and I now work at this traveling IV station. 265 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,226 This Mort Jansen's office? 266 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,490 Nope. 267 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,537 Tell Mort I said "Your move." 268 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:23,915 Oh, my God. I wanna work up here 269 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,245 with you guys. This is awesome. 270 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,653 How many more of those stupid documents do you have to scan? 271 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:32,121 Just this one, and all the ones in those boxes. 272 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,053 I gotta get out of here pronto. 273 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,651 Time to get those old ladies to do my work for me. 274 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:40,165 How? By shining down on them with the Haverford charm ray. 275 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:43,960 Well, well, well. 276 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,966 If it isn't Ethel Beavers. 277 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,903 What's up, beautiful? 278 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,339 Julianne Moore just called. She wants her hair back. 279 00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,440 Nobody named Julien called. 280 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:57,311 Never mind. I just need to ask you a couple of questions. 281 00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,777 One, can you help me out with this project we're doing? 282 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,384 And, two, 283 00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:05,957 will you please invite me to your 30th birthday party? 284 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:09,988 What are you doing? 285 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,826 I'm making a test call to your phone to make sure it's working 286 00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,059 so you don't miss any more calls. 287 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,395 You know what? Don't bother. 288 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,903 Maybe I'll just find an open window and plummet to my death. 289 00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:20,336 Okay. 290 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,273 This isn't gonna work. 291 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,705 Okay, you did not just swivel away while I was talking to you. 292 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:32,649 This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. 293 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:36,017 I'm down to one word a minute, and the word is "perflipisklup" 294 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,420 because I can't fly spaceships. 295 00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,552 Donna, you know as well as I do 296 00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:43,150 these city manager shakeups always peter out. 297 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,389 You just have to wait. 298 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:45,690 Usually I'm with you. 299 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,461 But this is Chris Traeger, the six million dollar man. 300 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:49,626 He won't quit. 301 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,863 So you need to swivel your ass down to his office 302 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,461 and have a word with him. 303 00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,897 Mommy. Oh! 304 00:12:56,709 --> 00:13:00,543 That is so thoughtful of you. 305 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,978 Of course! 306 00:13:02,047 --> 00:13:06,313 I just figured, hey, why not put my mother in a good mood? 307 00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:10,143 So, it's my understanding that despite what I said in our meeting, 308 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:13,658 you have somehow increased your request for more school buses. 309 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,757 Excuse me, but I'm having coffee with my daughter. 310 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,353 Maybe we could do this another time. 311 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,557 No, we're gonna talk about this now. 312 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,558 Or if you'd prefer, 313 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,796 I could put a permanent freeze on the education budget. 314 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,462 It's your call. 315 00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:30,804 Wow, maybe you should talk to him, Mom. He seems pretty self-assured. 316 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,508 There's nothing left. 317 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:34,937 It's over. 318 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,380 Hey, hey, hey, don't say that. Now, come on. 319 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:39,815 Get yourself together 320 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,821 and go out there and be the woman you always knew you could be. 321 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:46,017 Thank you so much. 322 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,449 Who was that? 323 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:50,584 I don't know. 324 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,097 I saw her crying, and so I helped. 325 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,530 What did you wanna talk to me about? 326 00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,535 Look, Chris, I'm very flattered 327 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,696 you thought of me for this amazing opportunity, 328 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,832 but I don't really know if this gig is in my wheelhouse. 329 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,001 I tend to work best with young, attractive people. 330 00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,739 Tom, I have made you a project leader. 331 00:14:07,813 --> 00:14:09,007 This is a big deal! 332 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,480 You should keep an open mind. 333 00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,541 Let your brain unlock the door to your heart's future. 334 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,750 I made that expression up when I was 14. 335 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,722 Still in use today. By me. Gotta jam. 336 00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,888 You know what? It's just not possible. 337 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,758 And don't even bother trying to outflank me either, 338 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:24,955 because you will fail. 339 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,357 Where did all this confidence come from all of a sudden? 340 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,730 Hey, guys, come on. Let's relax. 341 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,802 You know, Ms. Griggs-Knope... Marlene. 342 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,394 There's probably a compromise here. 343 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:34,336 Compromise is usually a sign of weakness. 344 00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:36,499 Yes, it is, according to Andrew Carnegie. 345 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,810 But your demands remind me of a different quote, 346 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,368 from the great Bill Watterson. 347 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,808 "You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw." 348 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,308 I love Calvin and Hobbes. Me, too! 349 00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:52,115 I gotta say, this is some of my best work. 350 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,216 This could not have gone better. 351 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,090 They are really hitting it off. 352 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:58,561 Thank God. Crisis averted. 353 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,830 Well, I am very glad you came back up here. 354 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,563 Yeah, me too. 355 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,231 Yeah... So you have a deal. 356 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,932 Well, let me mull everything over, 357 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,910 and then we can reconnect and hash things out. 358 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:16,209 It might get rough, but that can be fun. 359 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:18,147 Ben can handle it. Yep, I can. 360 00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:19,684 Okay, great. 361 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,913 It was a pleasure. Oh! Mmm-hmm. 362 00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:25,980 What's so great is, she was impressed by you, too. 363 00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:27,150 I mean, you could tell instantly. 364 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,126 The way you guys were connecting was really amazing. 365 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:30,286 Now, what I'm thinking is that maybe 366 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,521 we should go over to her house... 367 00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:35,429 You two are just the cutest things on four legs! 368 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,264 But why so much black? 369 00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:38,860 It's like you're going to a funeral. 370 00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,333 She's got a point, babe. 371 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,769 So, marry her then. 372 00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,167 I wish! 373 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,801 Hey, sorry to interrupt the love fest, 374 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,607 but can you hand me that folder there, please, Ethel? 375 00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,005 Oh, great. 376 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:51,447 Why you gotta be like that, Ethel? 377 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,179 Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the crib. 378 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,849 Stop laughing, Muriel. 379 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,488 Stop it! 380 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,456 I gotta say, I'm a genius. 381 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,722 The only thing my mom loves more than music boxes 382 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,320 is McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy. 383 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:09,163 So, I made her a McSteamy-style music box, 384 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:11,794 and I thought maybe you could give it to her. She would love you for it. 385 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,997 I think maybe that's not such a good idea. 386 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,098 Why? I mean, it's not the best picture of him, but... 387 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,206 Your mom kind of, 388 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,269 um, 389 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,709 made a pass at me. 390 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,446 So, Webster's dictionary 391 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:31,589 describes a pork as a... 392 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,624 No, it's park... Park. 393 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,252 I'm sorry. Geez, okay. So... 394 00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:39,060 You know what, can we start over? 395 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,530 Let's... Let's go from the first thing. 396 00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,863 I said, pork, which... By the way, 397 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,529 they have a great pork sandwich in the cafeteria today. 398 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,671 Ron Swanson. Chris. 399 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:52,302 You have come up with a plan so spectacularly horrible 400 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,369 that it might ruin the entire department. 401 00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:56,812 Now, wait a minute. I mean that as a compliment. 402 00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:58,682 So, it pains me to say this. 403 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,581 My department has to go back to the way it was. 404 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:03,143 Give them time. They'll adjust. 405 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,554 No, they won't. They're miserable. 406 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,120 Tom only performs when there's someone to impress, 407 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:12,561 so marooning him on Freak Island isn't helping anyone. 408 00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:16,397 And you made April assistant to everyone? You know who April hates? 409 00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,130 Everyone. 410 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,934 And Jerry can only function if no one's looking. 411 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,133 You shine a light on him, 412 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,904 and he shrinks up faster than an Eskimo's scrotum. 413 00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,535 Well, that's very perceptive, Ron. 414 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,410 And, very graphic. 415 00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:30,906 I understand your point, 416 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,451 but there's no way that I can just roll over on this. 417 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,780 Okay. 418 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,984 You won't ever hear me say this again, so savor this moment. 419 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,823 I may have a compromise. 420 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,889 Look, she was just flirting a little. 421 00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,366 I'm sure she's not really interested in me. 422 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,495 Oh, my God. I can't even have this conversation. 423 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,902 The whole thing is screwed up now. 424 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,269 There's so many ways to destroy a bubble, 425 00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:59,674 but my mom flirting with you is number one on the list. 426 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,912 And I'm sorry, I have to say this, 427 00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,811 were you asking for it in any way? 428 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,274 No! 429 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,817 How were you dressed? Oh, my God. 430 00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,614 I was wearing this. Here's what we do. 431 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,450 You issue a government-wide memo 432 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,387 about sexual harassment, and then you go to Mexico. 433 00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,656 Just for a couple of weeks. 434 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,784 Where are you going? Ben! 435 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,991 Ben! Wait. Just... Hey... 436 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:21,391 Hi, Mom. 437 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,435 Hi again. Leslie and I are dating. 438 00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,160 We haven't told anyone 439 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,603 because there's a rule against office relationships. 440 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:29,197 But it's happening. 441 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,674 I'm sorry we didn't tell you before you touched my knee, 442 00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,472 and I trust you won't tell anyone now 443 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,341 since it could get your daughter fired. 444 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,785 That is hilarious. 445 00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:47,389 That's what we thought, too. 446 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:49,354 Well... 447 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,587 Four buses. 448 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,231 Two. Deal. 449 00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:01,069 I like this one. 450 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:02,901 Me, too. 451 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:05,502 You keep your hands off him. 452 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,811 Margaret's pecan squares. 453 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,644 They are like crack. I brought you one. 454 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,183 How are you so happy working here? 455 00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,877 I don't know, man. It's not that bad. A year ago, I lived in a pit. 456 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:18,889 Now I got a job, and a kickass wife. 457 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,221 And my band is so good, 458 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,557 and are you gonna eat that pecan square? 459 00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,893 When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. 460 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,872 I read that once on a can of lemonade. 461 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,135 But I like to think that it applies to life. 462 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:39,933 I don't want lemonade. 463 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,512 It's too sweet and it makes my tongue feel gritty. 464 00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:44,343 So maybe it's time for a change. 465 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,880 Starting now, when life gives me lemons, 466 00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,814 I'm gonna slice them up into wedges 467 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,021 and throw them into vodka tonics, 468 00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,887 which I will then sip in a burlesque nightclub 469 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:58,328 that I co-own with actor Taye Diggs and two of the Pussycat Dolls. 470 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:02,493 Here you go. 471 00:20:02,568 --> 00:20:04,035 Thank you. 472 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,543 Kind of figured you'd be back in your office by now. 473 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:14,108 Well, you know how new city managers are. 474 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,807 Seems like everyone else is back to normal. 475 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:20,308 How long do you have to do this? A week. 476 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,648 Citizen request. Swivel, swivel, swivel. 477 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,487 Hello. I can help you in here, sir. 478 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,456 Oh, man, you're really screwing this up. 479 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:39,359 I'm gone for one day and this entire shoe shine stand falls apart. 480 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:40,769 Everything I built. 481 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,401 Jump up here. I'll show you how it's done. 482 00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:44,900 See, your problem is you're thinking too much. 483 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:48,570 Wow. You're really good at this. 484 00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,080 Yes. I am. 485 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:51,376 When I come back here in a few weeks, 486 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,918 I don't want all my regular customers to not be here waiting for me 487 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,715 because somebody screwed it up. 488 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:57,711 Huh? 489 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:58,847 Thanks. 490 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,015 No problem. 491 00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:01,857 See you later, kid. Wow. 492 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,861 What a moron. 37273

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.