Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,173 --> 00:00:03,868
Leslie, can I run something
by you really quick?
2
00:00:03,941 --> 00:00:06,136
Sure! I love having
things run by me.
3
00:00:06,210 --> 00:00:07,905
I feel like you're
being sarcastic right now.
4
00:00:07,979 --> 00:00:09,970
No, no. I'm not.
I genuinely love it.
5
00:00:10,047 --> 00:00:11,605
Run it by me.
Go ahead! Go, go, go.
6
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:13,650
Okay, so I've been a little
worried that Ann maybe thinks
7
00:00:13,718 --> 00:00:16,312
that our relationship isn't
moving forward fast enough.
8
00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:18,754
And so I'm wondering
9
00:00:18,824 --> 00:00:22,055
if maybe I should ask her if she
would like to move in with me.
10
00:00:22,561 --> 00:00:24,859
Good idea? Bad idea?
You tell me.
11
00:00:24,930 --> 00:00:27,831
I would say that some women won't
consider moving in with someone
12
00:00:27,899 --> 00:00:30,333
unless they think marriage is in the
future, which I know, for you is...
13
00:00:30,402 --> 00:00:32,302
I intend to marry her.
14
00:00:34,606 --> 00:00:35,664
For realskies?
15
00:00:35,741 --> 00:00:40,542
I'm not really quite sure how I feel.
I... It's a little weird.
16
00:00:40,712 --> 00:00:42,612
I mean, I'm happy for them.
They're my friends.
17
00:00:42,681 --> 00:00:43,807
It makes me a little nauseous.
18
00:00:43,882 --> 00:00:47,283
If I could just sum it up
in one word, it would be...
19
00:01:19,919 --> 00:01:21,477
Parks and Rec.
20
00:01:23,757 --> 00:01:25,349
Confirming what?
21
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,357
That's not possible.
22
00:01:31,865 --> 00:01:33,059
Oh, no!
23
00:01:34,368 --> 00:01:36,131
Hey! Good morning.
24
00:01:36,203 --> 00:01:37,761
Why are there
six people outside
25
00:01:37,838 --> 00:01:39,829
who say they're waiting
to meet with me?
26
00:01:39,907 --> 00:01:42,102
So, you know how
you love me because
27
00:01:42,176 --> 00:01:43,700
you haven't had a single
meeting with anyone
28
00:01:43,777 --> 00:01:45,301
since I became your assistant?
29
00:01:45,446 --> 00:01:46,743
That's because
30
00:01:46,814 --> 00:01:49,681
every time someone calls and
requests a meeting with you,
31
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,048
I always schedule it
for March 31st.
32
00:01:52,119 --> 00:01:53,143
Why?
33
00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:56,190
Because I didn't think
March 31st existed.
34
00:01:56,257 --> 00:01:59,693
Thirty days has September,
April, March and November...
35
00:01:59,761 --> 00:02:04,494
June and November.
Today is March 31st.
36
00:02:04,599 --> 00:02:05,657
I know.
37
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:08,634
So, then, how many
meetings do I have today?
38
00:02:09,304 --> 00:02:10,328
Ninety-three.
39
00:02:10,405 --> 00:02:15,035
Okay. Okay.
Well, you know what to do.
40
00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:16,702
Right.
41
00:02:16,784 --> 00:02:21,619
To me, this situation is a
blood-soaked, nightmarish hellscape.
42
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:25,511
- However, to Leslie Knope...
- Oh, how fun.
43
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:26,421
Yay.
44
00:02:26,459 --> 00:02:29,019
Why don't you take as many as you
can, and I'll cover the rest.
45
00:02:29,058 --> 00:02:30,082
I have a better idea.
46
00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:32,776
Why don't I try to rustle
up seven more meetings,
47
00:02:32,826 --> 00:02:35,351
'cause I think it would be cooler
if there were an even 100...
48
00:02:35,397 --> 00:02:37,957
Just... Why don't we just stick
to these 93 and see how it goes?
49
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,057
Yeah, okay.
50
00:02:39,135 --> 00:02:40,534
This is the perfect
distraction for me.
51
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:43,966
Okay, so I have everything I need, right?
I have a fresh cup of coffee,
52
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,529
comfy fur-lined boots.
53
00:02:45,608 --> 00:02:47,371
I'm gonna need those boots
back by the end of the day.
54
00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:50,310
Yeah, no problem.
They're actually a little narrow for me.
55
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:51,903
Leslie, here's a guy.
56
00:02:51,981 --> 00:02:53,710
Hi, I'm Leslie Knope,
Deputy Director.
57
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:56,273
Bill Haggerty,
Pawnee Historical Society.
58
00:02:56,352 --> 00:02:58,116
I'm supposed to be meeting
with Ron Swanson.
59
00:02:58,188 --> 00:02:59,883
I understand that.
He's tied up right now.
60
00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:02,288
What a shocker. I've been trying
to meet with him for three months,
61
00:03:02,359 --> 00:03:05,988
and now he's not available.
It's probably too late now, but,
62
00:03:06,062 --> 00:03:07,552
some rich woman, Jessica Wicks,
63
00:03:07,631 --> 00:03:09,292
has rented out Turnbill Mansion
64
00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:12,062
for a party, and she's
making alterations.
65
00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:13,534
"Alterations"?
66
00:03:13,603 --> 00:03:17,130
Turnbill Mansion is one of the most
beloved historical sites in Pawnee.
67
00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:20,438
In 1867, the progressive
Reverend Turnbill
68
00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:25,580
officiated a wedding between a white
woman and a Wamapoke Indian chief.
69
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,911
The secret ceremony was
beautiful and romantic.
70
00:03:31,155 --> 00:03:34,716
But then word got out, and the
reception was a bloodbath.
71
00:03:37,228 --> 00:03:39,856
Fortunately, there
were two survivors.
72
00:03:40,364 --> 00:03:42,332
Unfortunately,
they were both horses.
73
00:03:43,034 --> 00:03:45,935
Hold up.
Former beauty queen Jessica Wicks?
74
00:03:46,204 --> 00:03:47,791
- Yes.
- I'm Tom Haverford.
75
00:03:47,838 --> 00:03:49,066
I'm gonna be running
point on this, Bill.
76
00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:50,732
Hey, why didn't
you try to stop her?
77
00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:53,299
Her husband is Nick Newport Sr.
From Sweetums.
78
00:03:53,377 --> 00:03:55,402
Everyone in this town is
afraid to say no to him.
79
00:03:55,479 --> 00:03:58,846
Okay, everybody just relax.
What alterations is she trying to make?
80
00:03:58,916 --> 00:04:03,013
Drilling holes, painting,
removing wainscoting,
81
00:04:03,088 --> 00:04:04,646
she's tearing
down the gazebo...
82
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,248
What? She's what?
No, she's not.
83
00:04:07,326 --> 00:04:08,759
Okay. Tom,
go get the car.
84
00:04:08,927 --> 00:04:10,554
- Ow!
- Sorry.
85
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:11,823
Don't throw things at me.
86
00:04:11,897 --> 00:04:12,921
God, these are tight!
87
00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:17,032
I'll devise an action plan to help us
coordinate better among the departments.
88
00:04:17,102 --> 00:04:19,593
- Will you? Great.
Thanks for coming in. - Yeah.
89
00:04:19,671 --> 00:04:20,660
Who's next?
90
00:04:20,739 --> 00:04:22,036
Tom, I'll meet you at the car.
91
00:04:22,107 --> 00:04:24,302
Where the hell are you going?
We have 91 more meetings!
92
00:04:24,376 --> 00:04:26,310
I'm sorry, Ron, as much
as I would like to go
93
00:04:26,378 --> 00:04:28,539
for the "all-time City Hall
single day meetings record,"
94
00:04:28,614 --> 00:04:30,275
there is an emergency.
95
00:04:30,349 --> 00:04:32,874
Someone is trying
to alter a gazebo.
96
00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:37,416
Hey.
97
00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:38,980
Oh, hey, Ann.
Sorry I can't hang out.
98
00:04:39,058 --> 00:04:40,047
I kind of have an emergency.
99
00:04:40,126 --> 00:04:42,219
Oh, I'm actually
here to see Mark.
100
00:04:42,295 --> 00:04:43,887
Right. Well, thanks
for the coffee.
101
00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,760
That's also for Mark.
102
00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:46,856
I really need it, though.
103
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:49,731
But next time more sugar, okay?
Thanks, bye.
104
00:04:49,936 --> 00:04:51,335
Do you want me to
postpone the rest?
105
00:04:51,404 --> 00:04:53,531
Or I could set myself on fire
and create a diversion?
106
00:04:53,606 --> 00:04:56,006
No. I'm gonna do
all of these today.
107
00:04:56,075 --> 00:04:59,704
Round up whoever's free.
I'm gonna need more Ron Swansons.
108
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,677
Look at that.
It's gorgeous.
109
00:05:02,749 --> 00:05:05,718
What kind of monster
would wanna change this?
110
00:05:07,121 --> 00:05:10,613
Pre-zit. Do you have any brown
concealer by any chance?
111
00:05:10,691 --> 00:05:12,352
I need to look
good for Jessica.
112
00:05:12,426 --> 00:05:14,813
You know, they may be rich, but
they can't just destroy history.
113
00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:16,625
- Let's go.
- I'm right behind you.
114
00:05:16,697 --> 00:05:19,894
I just need to spend a
minute in my cologne cloud.
115
00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:22,199
What is that?
116
00:05:22,269 --> 00:05:23,668
Attack by Dennis Feinstein.
117
00:05:23,737 --> 00:05:25,967
When you wanna attack the senses
of the lady you wanna bed.
118
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,405
Oh, my God!
119
00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:30,175
Door! Door!
Door, door! Close it!
120
00:05:31,812 --> 00:05:35,646
So basically, we're completely swamped.
All hands on deck.
121
00:05:35,783 --> 00:05:37,182
I don't even work
in this building.
122
00:05:37,251 --> 00:05:41,120
Don't care. I need anyone with a
pulse and a brain to pitch in.
123
00:05:41,189 --> 00:05:42,918
Ron, do you need
help with anything?
124
00:05:42,991 --> 00:05:46,552
No, we're good. Thanks.
In fact, you can head home early.
125
00:05:46,828 --> 00:05:49,695
Right, now the four of us are gonna
divvy up all these meetings.
126
00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:52,198
Just make them feel like they've
been heard. Understood?
127
00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:55,998
Yes, sir. Bert Macklin,
FBI, on the case.
128
00:05:57,205 --> 00:05:59,196
April, you take
Leslie's office.
129
00:05:59,274 --> 00:06:00,673
Andy, you're in
the conference room.
130
00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:02,676
Ann, take your meetings
in the courtyard.
131
00:06:02,744 --> 00:06:06,637
Just sit there and
don't ruin the city.
132
00:06:06,915 --> 00:06:08,246
Dismissed.
133
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,643
What are you doing?
134
00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:13,018
Can I get a badge?
135
00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:17,385
Hey, I brought you a coffee,
help you get through the day.
136
00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:19,093
Thanks, dude!
137
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,827
No problem, lady!
138
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,526
- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
139
00:06:28,604 --> 00:06:31,664
April is the best but she's 20.
140
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,275
When April was born,
I was already in third grade,
141
00:06:34,343 --> 00:06:35,970
which means if we
were friends back then,
142
00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:38,912
I'd have been
hanging out with a baby.
143
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,712
I don't know anything
about infant care.
144
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,048
My God,
I could have killed her!
145
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,585
Ah, Mr. Newport Sr.
146
00:06:48,692 --> 00:06:51,320
I've just been informed that you
plan on altering this mansion.
147
00:06:51,395 --> 00:06:53,420
And as a member of
the Parks Department,
148
00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,556
as a Pawneean and an American,
149
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:59,429
I ask you to refrain from harming
this historic structure.
150
00:07:00,804 --> 00:07:01,793
What?
151
00:07:01,872 --> 00:07:03,464
I'll take care
of this, love nut.
152
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,064
- Biscuit.
- Yeah.
153
00:07:05,308 --> 00:07:08,971
Hi, I'm Jessica Wicks,
Miss Pawnee 1994.
154
00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:10,239
Hello, yes.
We've met before.
155
00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:12,338
We were both judges
at the pageant last year.
156
00:07:12,416 --> 00:07:15,181
Leslie Knorp. Of course!
How are you?
157
00:07:15,253 --> 00:07:18,984
Jessica Wicks. Hey, boo!
Are you aging in reverse?
158
00:07:19,056 --> 00:07:20,921
'Cause you look barely legal.
159
00:07:20,992 --> 00:07:23,586
Tom Haverford. If you're not the
most charming man in Indiana.
160
00:07:23,661 --> 00:07:26,459
And this must be the
luckiest man in Indiana.
161
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:28,863
Sir, it is an honor
to meet you.
162
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:31,325
Come here, you!
163
00:07:33,404 --> 00:07:36,532
Tell me straight,
are you a Chinese?
164
00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:39,701
No! I'm one of
the Indian people.
165
00:07:40,011 --> 00:07:43,777
That floppy old bag of money is
gonna be dead in like a month.
166
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:47,751
And who's going to comfort Jessica
and her millions of dollars?
167
00:07:48,187 --> 00:07:51,987
Yeah, Jessica is a gold-digger.
But I'm a gold-digger-digger.
168
00:07:53,392 --> 00:07:55,690
So, how did you
and Mr. Newport meet?
169
00:07:55,761 --> 00:07:58,252
I was doing a ribbon-cutting
at the hospital,
170
00:07:58,330 --> 00:08:01,197
and he was there because
his blood doesn't work.
171
00:08:01,266 --> 00:08:05,032
And we started talking, and
then I realized who he was.
172
00:08:06,205 --> 00:08:08,230
Oh, my gosh!
It was love at first sight!
173
00:08:08,373 --> 00:08:10,432
Oh, that sounds so romantic.
174
00:08:10,642 --> 00:08:14,100
Um, Jessica, I know you've rented
out this house for a party.
175
00:08:14,179 --> 00:08:15,703
But it's on the
historical register,
176
00:08:15,781 --> 00:08:19,115
so we can't allow any changes.
I'm so sorry.
177
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:21,176
It's a little late
for that, sweetheart.
178
00:08:21,254 --> 00:08:23,552
I told them what I was
doing months ago.
179
00:08:23,623 --> 00:08:27,059
Where I come from, there's a
saying, "What's done is done."
180
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:28,218
That's a saying everywhere.
181
00:08:28,294 --> 00:08:29,318
I've never heard it before
182
00:08:29,395 --> 00:08:30,589
and I think it's
a great saying.
183
00:08:30,663 --> 00:08:33,312
Well, maybe we can just limit the damage.
How much have you done?
184
00:08:33,766 --> 00:08:35,822
You painted this?
185
00:08:35,902 --> 00:08:38,871
Uh-huh. Miami Teal is
Nicky's favorite color.
186
00:08:38,938 --> 00:08:41,094
We also replaced
some of the sconces,
187
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:44,075
got rid of the furniture,
painted these floors black...
188
00:08:44,143 --> 00:08:46,077
Oh, no. These were the
original hardwood floors.
189
00:08:46,179 --> 00:08:49,445
Yeah. They were all scratched up.
I did you a favor.
190
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:51,781
Come on in here. I'll show you guys
what we did in the sitting room.
191
00:08:51,852 --> 00:08:54,377
- I can't... - After you.
I'd hate to miss the view.
192
00:08:54,455 --> 00:08:57,913
You little devil. I should just
pay you to follow me around.
193
00:08:57,992 --> 00:08:59,560
If that's a job offer,
I accept.
194
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:01,037
Oh, my God!
195
00:09:01,161 --> 00:09:03,595
Why did you have to
drill holes in the wall?
196
00:09:03,731 --> 00:09:06,199
To hang my birthday
present to Nicky.
197
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,431
My heavens!
198
00:09:08,502 --> 00:09:09,730
Isn't there a way
that you could've...
199
00:09:09,803 --> 00:09:11,430
Oh, my!
200
00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:15,040
History is important.
You just can't go around
201
00:09:15,109 --> 00:09:16,872
changing everything
all of the time.
202
00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:20,539
Or else next thing you know, they'll
be painting the White House
203
00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:21,946
not white.
204
00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:26,186
I'm so angry, I can't
think of another color.
205
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:27,779
Green.
206
00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:32,258
So, your department banned
me from attending games
207
00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:35,153
just because I yell
"you suck" at the players!
208
00:09:35,222 --> 00:09:39,181
According to the complaint, you
yelled it at five-year-old girls.
209
00:09:39,259 --> 00:09:42,786
Who suck!
Why is that so hard to understand?
210
00:09:43,497 --> 00:09:46,057
I thought I was having this
meeting with Ron Swanson.
211
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:49,159
I'm afraid that Ron
Swanson's currently dead.
212
00:09:49,503 --> 00:09:52,199
Oh. I'm his daughter,
April Swanson.
213
00:09:52,739 --> 00:09:57,040
And it's his last wish that I
have this meeting with you.
214
00:09:57,278 --> 00:09:59,640
I represent the
Ultimate Frisbee league.
215
00:09:59,681 --> 00:10:01,285
- And...
- Pawnee has an Ultimate league?
216
00:10:01,316 --> 00:10:03,471
Yes, and we keep running
into conflicts with...
217
00:10:03,496 --> 00:10:06,570
You won me over.
I will join your team.
218
00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:08,589
I'm sorry, what we need...
219
00:10:08,626 --> 00:10:09,650
When does practice start?
220
00:10:09,672 --> 00:10:10,934
And do you provide the jerseys?
221
00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:12,603
What color are the
jerseys, by the way?
222
00:10:12,664 --> 00:10:15,497
What's our team name?
Are we the Lightning?
223
00:10:16,264 --> 00:10:18,289
Now, I have to tell you,
I don't actually work
224
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:20,596
in the Parks Department.
I'm a nurse.
225
00:10:20,668 --> 00:10:23,228
Seriously?
That's great news.
226
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:26,103
I have the weirdest thing
on my arm.
227
00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:28,586
Can you see this?
228
00:10:29,245 --> 00:10:30,473
Every time.
229
00:10:31,046 --> 00:10:34,260
Oh, thank God you haven't
torn down the gazebo yet.
230
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:35,374
Don't remind me.
231
00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:37,942
The demolition people couldn't
get here until this afternoon.
232
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,816
I've had to look at that
ugly thing all day long.
233
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,254
Ugly thing?
234
00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:45,587
Let me tell you a little something
about this "ugly thing," ma'am.
235
00:10:45,661 --> 00:10:46,992
A hundred and fifty years ago,
236
00:10:47,062 --> 00:10:48,927
an interracial couple
was married here,
237
00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:51,125
and then slaughtered
by their own families.
238
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,634
It's one of the most beautiful
stories in Pawnee's history.
239
00:10:53,702 --> 00:10:55,101
Why are you
trying to destroy it?
240
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,196
Don't tell me
about Pawnee history.
241
00:10:57,274 --> 00:10:59,265
The Newports made this town.
242
00:10:59,342 --> 00:11:03,142
And tonight, we're gonna celebrate
my husband's 85th birthday,
243
00:11:03,213 --> 00:11:05,875
without this
mushy old pile of rot.
244
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:07,917
Your husband's
a mushy old pile of rot.
245
00:11:07,984 --> 00:11:10,976
You were a stick-in-the-mud when
we judged that beauty pageant,
246
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:13,079
and you're being
a stick-in-the-mud now.
247
00:11:13,156 --> 00:11:15,249
I am not a
stick-in-the-mud!
248
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,159
I just want to stop
a party from happening.
249
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,557
Ron? I have
a gazebo update,
250
00:11:21,631 --> 00:11:23,997
so ignore all my previous
voicemails and e-mails.
251
00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:26,535
Leslie, I haven't relieved
myself in five hours,
252
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,628
so, if you'll excuse me.
253
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,347
Ron, I'm sorry, but this can't wait.
Jessica Wicks refuses to...
254
00:11:31,409 --> 00:11:32,967
Leslie, what the (fuck)?
255
00:11:33,044 --> 00:11:34,509
Hey! Miss Knope?
256
00:11:34,603 --> 00:11:35,572
Councilman Howser!
257
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,517
Nice to see you again.
258
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:38,515
Not that I saw anything,
other than your face,
259
00:11:38,546 --> 00:11:41,037
and I would like to talk to you a
little bit about this gazebo thing.
260
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:42,322
You know, the problem...
Okay, okay.
261
00:11:42,351 --> 00:11:44,177
Enough of this.
262
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:47,654
Do whatever you want. Alert the media.
Call FEMA, I don't care.
263
00:11:47,725 --> 00:11:50,125
Do not bother me
with this again.
264
00:11:54,554 --> 00:11:57,751
- Miss Knope.
- Councilman Howser. I saw your penis.
265
00:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,791
There are eight swings
at Ramsett Park
266
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:03,083
and every single
one of them is broken.
267
00:12:03,197 --> 00:12:05,791
Can you please
just fix one of them?
268
00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:08,233
Ron told me I can't
say yes to anything.
269
00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:10,869
But it's such
a reasonable request.
270
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,715
I can't just say no.
271
00:12:15,176 --> 00:12:16,803
So, that's a yes?
272
00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:22,510
Are you saying yes?
Just say out loud, yes or no.
273
00:12:24,989 --> 00:12:26,115
Boop!
274
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:33,090
Yeah, they do look a little bit swollen.
Just follow the pen.
275
00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:35,292
Follow the pen to...
276
00:12:36,832 --> 00:12:38,344
Does that hurt?
277
00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:42,815
There's no way this ordinance goes through.
There's too much red tape.
278
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:44,415
Mmm. This gridlock
drives me nuts.
279
00:12:44,443 --> 00:12:45,346
Tell me about it.
280
00:12:45,374 --> 00:12:47,740
Yeah. I think you're gonna have
to make an end run. You know?
281
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,141
Go right to
the Commissioner on this one.
282
00:12:49,211 --> 00:12:51,645
You know what, I hadn't thought of that.
That is a really great idea.
283
00:12:51,713 --> 00:12:52,941
- Yeah?
- I'm gonna do that.
284
00:12:53,015 --> 00:12:56,657
Okay. Your last resort is
probably gonna be City Council.
285
00:12:56,685 --> 00:12:58,050
Good luck there!
286
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,003
Yeah! My thoughts exactly.
287
00:13:00,122 --> 00:13:02,070
I have no idea
what I was saying.
288
00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:05,591
I ask you. Is this too
revealing for a public pool?
289
00:13:05,728 --> 00:13:08,288
Kindly get your
groin off my desk.
290
00:13:08,364 --> 00:13:11,094
So my body makes you
uncomfortable, too?
291
00:13:12,936 --> 00:13:14,631
Hey, Mark.
I'm kind of freaking out
292
00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:16,331
about this historical
mansion thing.
293
00:13:16,406 --> 00:13:17,498
Can I talk to you for a second?
294
00:13:17,574 --> 00:13:19,701
I'm actually headed
right out the door.
295
00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:21,334
You're going on
a date with Ann.
296
00:13:21,411 --> 00:13:22,708
Yeah. I was gonna
surprise her,
297
00:13:22,779 --> 00:13:24,406
take her to a nice restaurant.
Don't worry about it.
298
00:13:24,481 --> 00:13:26,813
- Are you sure now?
- Yeah, have a good time.
299
00:13:27,484 --> 00:13:29,349
- How we doing?
- Pretty good.
300
00:13:29,419 --> 00:13:33,412
I may have promised a new
aquatic center to somebody.
301
00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:34,787
Is that a problem?
302
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:37,851
I diagnosed two melanomas.
They're both benign.
303
00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:39,122
How many more meetings?
304
00:13:39,196 --> 00:13:40,185
Twenty.
305
00:13:41,198 --> 00:13:43,189
April was supposed
to be the moat
306
00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:46,930
that kept the citizen barbarians
away from Swanson Castle.
307
00:13:47,438 --> 00:13:51,067
Instead she blew up the castle
and stabbed me in the face.
308
00:13:51,775 --> 00:13:54,141
I hired you to do one thing.
309
00:13:55,179 --> 00:13:56,476
Just one.
310
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:59,739
I don't care that you text all
day and sleep at your desk.
311
00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:01,307
In fact, I encourage it.
312
00:14:01,385 --> 00:14:04,479
But only because you were
doing that one thing.
313
00:14:04,922 --> 00:14:07,447
Keeping this crap off my desk.
314
00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,158
Give me five minutes
before the next one.
315
00:14:17,235 --> 00:14:18,964
That guy is
scary when he's angry.
316
00:14:19,037 --> 00:14:20,732
Yeah! God, I know.
317
00:14:21,072 --> 00:14:22,869
Hey. Sorry, dude.
318
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:26,502
I don't need your sympathy.
Or yours.
319
00:14:27,045 --> 00:14:29,275
I wasn't offering my sympathy.
320
00:14:30,515 --> 00:14:31,675
Thank you for meeting me here.
321
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:33,012
Sure.
322
00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:35,310
What's up? Okay.
I need you to get this word for word.
323
00:14:35,387 --> 00:14:37,821
It's a tape recorder.
So it will.
324
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,785
"Gazebo?"
More like "Ga-zoinks-bo."
325
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,327
She may be a
former beauty queen,
326
00:14:42,395 --> 00:14:44,863
but today she's the king
of destroying history!
327
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:46,796
Okay, could you just
maybe talk normally?
328
00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:48,766
Okay, fine.
"Ga-zoinks-bo."
329
00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:50,527
Jessica Wicks is
throwing a birthday party
330
00:14:50,603 --> 00:14:52,366
for her husband
Nick Newport Sr.
331
00:14:52,438 --> 00:14:53,996
At the Turnbill
Mansion tonight...
332
00:14:54,073 --> 00:14:55,973
Okay. I'm gonna
stop you right there.
333
00:14:56,042 --> 00:14:58,943
Nick Newport Sr.
Is the former CEO of Sweetums.
334
00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:00,000
So?
335
00:15:00,079 --> 00:15:01,637
Sweetums owns
The Pawnee Journal.
336
00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:03,682
Crap on the cob!
337
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:06,418
I will take it
into consideration.
338
00:15:07,253 --> 00:15:10,279
Thank God!
That was it, right?
339
00:15:10,523 --> 00:15:11,581
No. There's one more.
340
00:15:11,657 --> 00:15:12,647
Damn it to hell!
341
00:15:12,726 --> 00:15:16,423
It's with me and it's right now
and it's about me quitting.
342
00:15:16,763 --> 00:15:17,991
I quit.
343
00:15:20,801 --> 00:15:22,132
I have no other choice, okay?
344
00:15:22,202 --> 00:15:25,433
This is the only rational way I
know to prevent this tragedy.
345
00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:28,937
Oh, my God! Here they come.
Tom, throw away the key!
346
00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:31,068
- Seriously?
- Yes! Throw it!
347
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:33,342
Out of the way!
348
00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:35,347
Sir, I'm sorry,
but you're a little late.
349
00:15:35,415 --> 00:15:37,042
So, you're gonna have to
turn this thing around,
350
00:15:37,117 --> 00:15:39,017
'cause you're not
getting in here.
351
00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:43,552
Oh, God! Tom! Stop him!
Jump in front of it!
352
00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:45,650
Sacrifice your tiny body!
353
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,859
I really thought that gate
would open in the middle.
354
00:15:58,079 --> 00:15:59,842
Well, the gazebo
has been destroyed.
355
00:15:59,914 --> 00:16:03,204
And the thing that
bothers me the most...
356
00:16:03,451 --> 00:16:04,577
Cut it out, Tom.
357
00:16:04,652 --> 00:16:05,892
It never gets old.
358
00:16:08,055 --> 00:16:11,081
Hey, Ann and Mark are coming.
Guys, not so close.
359
00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:14,686
You're gonna... You're gonna...
Don't go past the sensor.
360
00:16:15,897 --> 00:16:17,297
Sensor?
361
00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:18,765
Sorry if I ruined your evening.
362
00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:20,062
Leslie, it's totally fine.
363
00:16:20,135 --> 00:16:21,329
I chained myself to a gate.
364
00:16:21,403 --> 00:16:22,995
- I can see that.
- Are you okay?
365
00:16:23,071 --> 00:16:25,335
Nothing's bruised but my ego.
366
00:16:25,407 --> 00:16:27,773
And my arm, a little,
from the mechanized gate.
367
00:16:28,443 --> 00:16:30,274
Thanks again for letting
me take those meetings today.
368
00:16:30,779 --> 00:16:34,112
I've never really had a meeting before.
They're awesome.
369
00:16:34,183 --> 00:16:35,172
You're welcome.
370
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,325
Hey, have you
seen April around?
371
00:16:36,351 --> 00:16:37,841
She usually comes by
at the end of the day.
372
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,117
You might want to check her house.
She quit on me.
373
00:16:41,390 --> 00:16:42,618
What? Why?
374
00:16:42,858 --> 00:16:45,088
She screwed up
my entire life today.
375
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:48,330
That was one mistake.
She's perfect for you.
376
00:16:48,865 --> 00:16:49,923
Come on, there's no
one in the world
377
00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:52,126
who's gonna do a better
job for you than April.
378
00:16:53,336 --> 00:16:55,361
Either you hire
her back or I quit.
379
00:16:55,438 --> 00:16:56,871
You don't work for me.
380
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,704
And I never will, sir.
Good day.
381
00:17:05,915 --> 00:17:08,145
So what'd you guys talk about at dinner?
Huh? Was it fun?
382
00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:10,379
Any big decisions arrived at?
383
00:17:10,453 --> 00:17:11,715
It was fine.
384
00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:12,982
Do you need a ride home?
385
00:17:13,056 --> 00:17:15,547
No, Tom's gonna take me.
You guys go on ahead.
386
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:17,320
I'm glad you're okay.
Call me tomorrow?
387
00:17:17,393 --> 00:17:19,054
Bye, Leslie.
388
00:17:23,534 --> 00:17:26,765
Well, hello there.
You must be Ron Swanson.
389
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,532
Well, welcome to Casa Ludgate!
390
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,367
Hello, Mr. Ludgate.
391
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,699
Call me Larry.
Larry, who is it?
392
00:17:32,776 --> 00:17:34,300
It's Zuzu's boss.
393
00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:36,676
Oh, Ron. Rita Ludgate.
394
00:17:37,047 --> 00:17:39,982
Oh, you have no idea how
nice it is to meet you.
395
00:17:41,051 --> 00:17:42,951
Come in, for gosh sake.
396
00:17:43,087 --> 00:17:45,021
What can I get
you to drink? Ooh.
397
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:48,650
Could you take your shoes off, please?
Thank you so much.
398
00:17:49,893 --> 00:17:51,190
Nothing to drink, thanks.
399
00:17:51,262 --> 00:17:52,355
Oh, okay.
400
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:53,692
Is April around?
401
00:17:53,765 --> 00:17:55,699
Zuzu, you have a guest.
402
00:17:56,368 --> 00:17:59,769
I'll fetch her.
She's probably on the Internet again!
403
00:18:00,572 --> 00:18:02,506
- I'll come with you.
- Okay. Okay.
404
00:18:02,574 --> 00:18:04,337
You make yourself
at home, Mr. Swanson.
405
00:18:04,409 --> 00:18:06,001
Thank you.
406
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,807
You must be April's sister.
407
00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:13,779
I'm Ron.
408
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:20,484
Nice to meet you.
409
00:18:21,192 --> 00:18:23,752
No offense, but I think
the normal grieving time
410
00:18:23,829 --> 00:18:26,263
for gazebo destruction
has passed.
411
00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:30,762
Yeah, well, maybe that's not
entirely what I'm upset about.
412
00:18:32,772 --> 00:18:34,296
Mark and Ann are
gonna get married.
413
00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:36,173
Really?
414
00:18:36,709 --> 00:18:39,872
Why does that bother you?
I should be the one that's upset.
415
00:18:39,945 --> 00:18:41,674
It was supposed
to be me and Ann.
416
00:18:41,747 --> 00:18:43,146
Or me and Jessica.
417
00:18:43,215 --> 00:18:45,775
Or Ann and Jessica
with me watching.
418
00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:50,580
Every time a couple gets married,
two single people die.
419
00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:53,424
I'm about to lose
two good friends.
420
00:18:53,492 --> 00:18:54,925
Come on.
421
00:18:55,127 --> 00:18:58,325
They drove over here
and cut you down from a gate.
422
00:18:58,565 --> 00:19:00,556
I really don't think
you have to worry about them
423
00:19:00,634 --> 00:19:02,261
abandoning you
once they get married.
424
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:03,633
Yeah, yeah, I know that.
425
00:19:03,704 --> 00:19:05,103
In my brain.
426
00:19:05,172 --> 00:19:06,230
Can we go?
427
00:19:06,473 --> 00:19:08,634
Yeah. Let's go.
I just need to...
428
00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:10,267
- Come on. No!
- ...do one more thing.
429
00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:11,675
No, no, no!
430
00:19:12,245 --> 00:19:19,083
Loving smiles and smiling tears
431
00:19:19,853 --> 00:19:24,119
The midnight of my heart is you
432
00:19:24,458 --> 00:19:27,484
Okay, I'm sorry, everyone.
Excuse me.
433
00:19:28,062 --> 00:19:30,155
Excuse me, but I need
to say something.
434
00:19:30,231 --> 00:19:31,391
Is that Gate Lady?
435
00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:33,195
I know you're
probably thinking,
436
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:35,735
"There's that crazy gate lady
from outside back again."
437
00:19:35,803 --> 00:19:38,499
And to some extent, you're right.
I am the gate lady.
438
00:19:38,573 --> 00:19:41,542
But the only thing I'm crazy about
is leaving the past behind.
439
00:19:41,609 --> 00:19:45,010
So, I would like to
apologize and raise a glass
440
00:19:46,114 --> 00:19:50,847
to change and forgiveness and
the future and Ann and Mark,
441
00:19:50,918 --> 00:19:53,614
and happiness and
Nick Newport Sr.
442
00:19:54,155 --> 00:19:57,352
May all your future gazebos
live long and prosper.
443
00:19:57,658 --> 00:19:59,125
Please leave!
444
00:19:59,728 --> 00:20:02,128
Is it weird if I ask to take
a piece of cake with me?
445
00:20:02,197 --> 00:20:03,664
- I won't.
- Go.
446
00:20:05,534 --> 00:20:06,660
Why are you here?
447
00:20:07,836 --> 00:20:09,167
Come back to work.
448
00:20:09,972 --> 00:20:10,996
No.
449
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,634
Come back.
450
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:15,399
I want you to come back.
451
00:20:15,477 --> 00:20:17,240
Well, I don't want
to come back.
452
00:20:17,646 --> 00:20:18,943
The end.
453
00:20:19,014 --> 00:20:20,914
I was talking to
Andy about you,
454
00:20:21,483 --> 00:20:24,782
and he made me realize
that I need you back at work.
455
00:20:24,853 --> 00:20:25,911
What did he say?
456
00:20:25,988 --> 00:20:27,012
Don't recall.
457
00:20:27,089 --> 00:20:28,420
Fine, I'll come back.
458
00:20:28,724 --> 00:20:30,089
Good.
459
00:20:30,926 --> 00:20:32,292
Okay, I'm leaving.
460
00:20:34,063 --> 00:20:35,553
Bye, Zuzu.
461
00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,093
Bye, Duke Silvers.
462
00:20:42,205 --> 00:20:46,164
My mom has all your albums.
I recognized you the day we met.
463
00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:48,367
Have you told anyone?
464
00:20:48,445 --> 00:20:49,434
No.
465
00:20:50,246 --> 00:20:51,577
Good girl.
466
00:20:55,808 --> 00:20:57,173
Well, excuse me.
467
00:20:57,243 --> 00:20:59,139
I had a meeting with
Ron Swanson yesterday,
468
00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:00,577
but had a little car trouble.
469
00:21:00,646 --> 00:21:02,740
Sorry, he's busy right now.
470
00:21:03,417 --> 00:21:04,975
Well, can I reschedule?
471
00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:06,417
Sure. Hmm.
472
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:09,130
How about June 50th?
473
00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:11,621
- Sorry? - Do you think you
could come back today
474
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:14,046
at 2:65? He's available then.
475
00:21:14,361 --> 00:21:15,658
What is going on?
476
00:21:15,685 --> 00:21:18,554
Looks like the only other day he has
open is Marchtember One-Teenth.
477
00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,346
Does that work, sir?
36500
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof