All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation (2009) - S02E16 - Galentines Day (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,999 --> 00:00:04,059 If you look inside your bags, you will find a few things. 2 00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:07,561 A bouquet of hand-crocheted flower pens... 3 00:00:07,634 --> 00:00:08,623 Oh! 4 00:00:08,735 --> 00:00:11,295 A mosaic portrait of each of you 5 00:00:11,371 --> 00:00:14,204 made from the crushed bottles of your favorite diet soda, 6 00:00:14,274 --> 00:00:16,605 and a personalized 5,000-word essay 7 00:00:16,675 --> 00:00:19,269 of why you are all so awesome. 8 00:00:19,345 --> 00:00:23,440 What's Galentine's Day? Oh, it's only the best day of the year. 9 00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:26,382 Every February 13th, my lady friends and I 10 00:00:26,451 --> 00:00:28,282 leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home 11 00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,562 and we just come and kick it breakfast style. 12 00:00:30,854 --> 00:00:32,705 Ladies celebrating ladies. 13 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:37,227 It's like Lilith Fair minus the angst. Plus frittatas. 14 00:00:37,294 --> 00:00:40,889 So to conclude our Galentine's Day breakfast, 15 00:00:40,964 --> 00:00:43,932 it is time for the greatest story ever told. 16 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,434 What's the story? 17 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:48,697 It's the most romantic story ever. 18 00:00:48,771 --> 00:00:51,864 It makes The Notebook look like Saw V. 19 00:00:52,808 --> 00:00:54,036 Go, Mom, go. 20 00:00:54,109 --> 00:00:56,907 It was 1968. I was 18 21 00:00:56,978 --> 00:00:59,208 and our family went on a vacation to Bermuda. 22 00:00:59,747 --> 00:01:03,114 And on the first day, I went for a swim in the ocean. 23 00:01:03,951 --> 00:01:07,717 And I got caught in a very strong current. 24 00:01:08,922 --> 00:01:10,321 You've heard this story before, right? 25 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:11,516 Yes, but the drama. 26 00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:13,354 The next thing I felt 27 00:01:13,993 --> 00:01:17,928 were two very powerful arms 28 00:01:18,363 --> 00:01:20,228 whisking me to safety. 29 00:01:20,566 --> 00:01:23,160 And he looked down at me and he said, 30 00:01:23,936 --> 00:01:25,665 "Are you okay?" 31 00:01:26,105 --> 00:01:29,835 And I looked up at him and I said, "I am now." 32 00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:33,908 So they sneak out to meet each other and walk on the beach. 33 00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:35,376 And two weeks later, he asked her 34 00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:37,936 to marry him and move to Illinois. 35 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,847 But her parents thought she was too young, so she said no. 36 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,945 And then they lost touch, and a few years later she met my dad. 37 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,953 I gotta take one of those lifeguard courses. 38 00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:47,352 Those guys get all the action. 39 00:01:47,423 --> 00:01:49,357 - Am I right, Justin? - We gotta find this guy. 40 00:01:49,425 --> 00:01:52,189 Frank? He's probably married or dead. 41 00:01:52,261 --> 00:01:53,989 What's the difference? Am I right, Justin? 42 00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:56,189 Well, at least let me try and find him. 43 00:01:56,289 --> 00:01:58,108 Imagine how much better that story would be 44 00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:00,471 if we actually reunited them. 45 00:02:01,847 --> 00:02:04,137 I think Justin's right. You should let him do this. 46 00:02:04,338 --> 00:02:07,171 Okay. Do it. But if you find him and he's weird, 47 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,232 like a ventriloquist, or a puppeteer, 48 00:02:09,309 --> 00:02:12,004 or anyone who pretends toys are people, 49 00:02:12,078 --> 00:02:13,306 then abort the mission. 50 00:02:13,379 --> 00:02:14,573 - Absolutely. - Absolutely. 51 00:02:37,831 --> 00:02:39,889 You, you're the best girlfriend ever. 52 00:02:39,966 --> 00:02:40,990 Aw! 53 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,830 Happy Valentine's Day. 54 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,014 I knew, eventually, somehow, 55 00:02:45,071 --> 00:02:47,698 being in a relationship with you would totally pay off. 56 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:51,501 I bought him some actual towels. He was using a bathrobe. 57 00:02:51,573 --> 00:02:55,771 And I bought him some other things that humans usually use, like shampoo. 58 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,072 Troops, gather around. Great news. 59 00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:00,079 The Senior Center Valentine's Dance 60 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,012 is tomorrow, from 5:00 to 9:00. 61 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:06,518 Are we talking a.m. or p.m.? Those people are old. Am I right, Justin? 62 00:03:07,386 --> 00:03:08,978 Oh! Justin's not here. 63 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,684 It isn't just a job, gang, we're gonna learn a lot from these seniors. 64 00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:15,988 Some of them have been married for half a century. 65 00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:19,563 And no offense, but everybody here is terrible at love. 66 00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:25,500 Divorced, dating a gay guy, divorced twice, jury's still out on you two. 67 00:03:26,203 --> 00:03:27,431 And Jerry, who knows. 68 00:03:27,504 --> 00:03:29,734 I've been happily married for 28 years. 69 00:03:29,807 --> 00:03:31,468 You've met my wife, Gayle, many times. 70 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:32,565 Whatever. 71 00:03:32,642 --> 00:03:35,372 Finally, Ann and Mark are our special volunteers, 72 00:03:35,445 --> 00:03:37,413 and they will be available whenever needed. 73 00:03:37,847 --> 00:03:38,973 I didn't volunteer. 74 00:03:39,048 --> 00:03:40,912 Yeah, too bad. You got drafted. 75 00:03:40,983 --> 00:03:44,851 Ask not what your old people could do for you, 76 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,911 ask what you could do for your old people. 77 00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:48,678 Terminator. 78 00:03:48,757 --> 00:03:49,916 What? No, JFK. 79 00:03:50,725 --> 00:03:53,125 This meeting has been terminated. 80 00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:54,593 That is the Terminator. 81 00:03:54,662 --> 00:03:55,788 Nice. 82 00:03:56,597 --> 00:03:57,586 Where am I going? 83 00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:01,457 Well, hello there. 84 00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,399 Well, hey. I got your message. 85 00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,869 You wanted to talk? 86 00:04:04,938 --> 00:04:05,962 Yes, I do. 87 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:07,028 Oh. 88 00:04:07,573 --> 00:04:08,904 Have a seat. 89 00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:12,238 - Mmm. - Some champagne? 90 00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:13,539 Uh, no, thanks. 91 00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:16,546 Come on. This is Armand de Brignac. Jay-Z drinks this. 92 00:04:16,614 --> 00:04:19,447 Yeah, well, Jay-Z doesn't have to perform surgery in an hour. 93 00:04:19,517 --> 00:04:22,008 You don't know Jay-Z's schedule. He's a renaissance man. 94 00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:25,320 Okay, fine. Well, this is for you. 95 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,378 Oh! 96 00:04:26,923 --> 00:04:28,652 Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, 97 00:04:28,725 --> 00:04:31,751 so I thought it would be a good day to tell you that... 98 00:04:31,828 --> 00:04:35,194 Okay. Let me just stop you right there. 99 00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:38,824 Look, Tommy, 100 00:04:41,137 --> 00:04:45,732 I just want you to know I'm so grateful for everything you did for me, 101 00:04:46,441 --> 00:04:48,966 but I only see us as friends. 102 00:04:49,044 --> 00:04:53,207 For now. But think about how much better our friendship would be 103 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,475 if we added doing it. 104 00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:58,749 Seriously, I know our marriage was fake, 105 00:04:58,819 --> 00:05:00,810 but there's something between us. 106 00:05:00,888 --> 00:05:03,048 And I think we should give it a shot, for real. 107 00:05:03,122 --> 00:05:06,751 I just don't feel that way about you. 108 00:05:08,661 --> 00:05:10,128 I'm sorry. 109 00:05:20,271 --> 00:05:22,068 Each time I do 110 00:05:22,139 --> 00:05:26,940 Just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin 111 00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:29,372 I've got you 112 00:05:30,714 --> 00:05:32,477 Under my skin 113 00:05:33,116 --> 00:05:34,378 So, there's that one, I guess. 114 00:05:34,451 --> 00:05:36,316 All right. You guys sound ready for the dance tomorrow. 115 00:05:36,386 --> 00:05:38,979 I don't know about these old fogy songs, Leslie. 116 00:05:39,054 --> 00:05:40,612 Why can't we just do our originals? 117 00:05:40,689 --> 00:05:42,714 I just wrote a new song, okay? 118 00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:45,055 Bottom line, it's called Sex Hair. 119 00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,957 It's about how you can tell when someone's just had sex 120 00:05:47,028 --> 00:05:49,724 'cause of how their hair gets matted up in the back. It's awesome. 121 00:05:51,099 --> 00:05:53,363 Think of it this way. These songs are exactly 122 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:55,526 like the songs you usually play, 123 00:05:55,602 --> 00:05:57,729 except instead of modern rock, 124 00:05:57,804 --> 00:05:59,863 they're old jazzy standards from the '40s. 125 00:06:02,476 --> 00:06:04,204 Okay, yeah. You got a point. 126 00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:05,937 Yeah. You're gonna do great. 127 00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:08,244 All right, guys. 128 00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:10,111 Andy, I've been here for half an hour. 129 00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:11,342 Can I get my shoes shined? 130 00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:14,908 Kyle, I'm gonna lose my on you if you ask me one more time. 131 00:06:16,454 --> 00:06:17,716 Found him. 132 00:06:18,757 --> 00:06:21,692 Frank Beckerson, 63. 133 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,388 Lives in a little town called Bridgeport, Illinois. 134 00:06:25,462 --> 00:06:28,989 Divorced, no kids, worked as a lifeguard when he was 20. 135 00:06:30,801 --> 00:06:34,429 Ron, I need a half a day off for a secret mission of love. 136 00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:37,501 You're asking my permission to take a nooner? 137 00:06:37,573 --> 00:06:39,564 Sure. Well, I don't know. Maybe. 138 00:06:39,642 --> 00:06:42,474 Justin and I need to go on a romantically-inspired road trip. 139 00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:43,909 So it is a nooner? 140 00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:46,777 Well, we're planning to leave around noon, so I'm not quite sure... 141 00:06:46,848 --> 00:06:48,406 That's... No, Leslie, that is not a nooner. 142 00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:50,382 I tracked down this old flame of Leslie's mom. 143 00:06:50,419 --> 00:06:54,075 We're gonna go pick him up. We're gonna reunite them on Valentine's Day. 144 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,207 Is that a great story or what? 145 00:06:56,306 --> 00:06:58,170 Yeah, great story indeed. 146 00:06:58,203 --> 00:06:59,459 Enjoy your half day off. 147 00:06:59,779 --> 00:07:00,547 Thank you. 148 00:07:00,593 --> 00:07:01,617 Pick you up tomorrow around noon. 149 00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:04,271 For our nooner. Which is a cute word. 150 00:07:04,397 --> 00:07:05,796 Explain it to her later. 151 00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:07,247 Explain what? 152 00:07:07,699 --> 00:07:09,860 Happy Valentine's Day. 153 00:07:09,866 --> 00:07:14,530 First off, a bear in a paper bag and a heart-shaped balloon. 154 00:07:14,673 --> 00:07:16,640 I love bears in bags. 155 00:07:16,941 --> 00:07:18,568 Well, you will like this, then. 156 00:07:18,643 --> 00:07:22,704 Because this is a giant teddy bear holding a red heart. 157 00:07:23,548 --> 00:07:25,947 Aw! Festive. What's this? Oh, I don't know. 158 00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:28,348 It's a heart-shaped box of chocolates. 159 00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:31,615 That's a dozen red roses in a heart-shaped arrangement. 160 00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:35,953 - See that? Perfume. For the lady. - Yeah. Ooh! Ooh! 161 00:07:36,025 --> 00:07:38,550 "Yearning, by Dennis Feinstein." 162 00:07:39,128 --> 00:07:43,215 Mmm. Ooh! Dennis. No, no, Dennis. 163 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:46,184 Finally, The Heart of the Ocean. 164 00:07:46,664 --> 00:07:48,248 Gorgeous. 165 00:07:50,805 --> 00:07:55,138 I never had a chance to get a girl a clich๏ฟฝd Valentine's Day gift before. 166 00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:57,507 So I got you all of them. 167 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,841 Thank you. That was very sweet. 168 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:03,745 Do you think they'll get married? 169 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,443 Oh, my God, what if they get married? 170 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,967 That would be amazing. 171 00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:08,914 Would I call him "Dad" then? 172 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:12,650 - Hmm. Hmm. - No, that'd be too much. Maybe I'll call him "Pappy." 173 00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:15,158 Pop? Poppy? Paw-Paw? 174 00:08:15,627 --> 00:08:17,254 Look at me. I'm getting ahead of myself. 175 00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:19,091 Hey. You never know. 176 00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:22,731 I'm gonna call him "Poo-Paw." 177 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,291 How often do you get to reunite soul mates? 178 00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:28,536 What if I told you that you could reunite Romeo and Juliet? 179 00:08:28,605 --> 00:08:31,165 Or Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? 180 00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:35,204 Oh, Jen. I really want you to be happy. 181 00:08:37,112 --> 00:08:38,807 Stay away from John Mayer. 182 00:08:40,115 --> 00:08:42,171 I cannot believe I'm gonna meet Frank Beckerson. 183 00:08:42,208 --> 00:08:44,608 I feel like I've known him my whole life. 184 00:08:46,621 --> 00:08:47,952 Frank? 185 00:08:48,022 --> 00:08:50,752 My God. Marlene. 186 00:08:50,825 --> 00:08:54,112 Oh, no. Poo-Paw. Poo-Paw, no. I'm not Marlene. 187 00:08:55,262 --> 00:08:59,130 Oh! So sorry. I should really wear my glasses. Come on in. 188 00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:05,653 Frank, I was wondering. 189 00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:08,051 My mom always said that you wanted to be a lawyer. 190 00:09:08,126 --> 00:09:09,150 Did that work out? 191 00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,670 No. Never did. 192 00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:13,366 Though I did once act as my own lawyer. 193 00:09:14,576 --> 00:09:18,444 Oh! I found some old pictures of Marlene and me. Look. 194 00:09:20,681 --> 00:09:22,148 Look how young she is. 195 00:09:22,216 --> 00:09:23,513 These are amazing. 196 00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:26,416 Probably shouldn't show you this one. 197 00:09:28,388 --> 00:09:29,820 No, thank you. 198 00:09:30,623 --> 00:09:34,753 Your mom was such a firecracker. Smart, funny, sharp as a tack. 199 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:37,091 Such firm breasts. 200 00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:39,191 Oh, that was inappropriate. 201 00:09:41,032 --> 00:09:45,560 Wow. I am just, all of a sudden, so nervous to see her again. 202 00:09:46,905 --> 00:09:49,338 I'm gonna throw up real quick and then we can leave. 203 00:09:51,575 --> 00:09:53,236 - Hi. - Hi. 204 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,800 Valentine's bash at The Bulge tonight. 205 00:09:54,879 --> 00:09:56,346 We can get you a drink bracelet. 206 00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,612 I can't. I've gotta work at the Senior Center Valentine's Day Dance thing. 207 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,947 That sounds amazing. Can we come? 208 00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:05,610 I guess. I don't know why you would want to. 209 00:10:05,687 --> 00:10:06,813 Because old people are funny. 210 00:10:06,889 --> 00:10:08,584 Yeah, it'll be like The Golden Girls. 211 00:10:08,657 --> 00:10:10,215 I have to go get ready. 212 00:10:12,961 --> 00:10:15,588 So, Frank, where have you been for the past 40 years? 213 00:10:15,663 --> 00:10:19,155 Oh! You know, here and there. You know? Grenada, for a while. 214 00:10:19,233 --> 00:10:22,862 Then Panama, then Afghanistan. 215 00:10:23,104 --> 00:10:25,071 - So you were in the military? - Nope. 216 00:10:25,472 --> 00:10:28,339 You know, I always wonder how different my life would've been 217 00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:30,569 if your mother had married me. 218 00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:34,171 It would've been better. I'll tell you that much. 219 00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:37,816 Frank? Frank, are you okay? 220 00:10:37,883 --> 00:10:39,942 I'm fine. I'm good. 221 00:10:42,153 --> 00:10:45,179 I am just so nervous to see her. 222 00:10:45,256 --> 00:10:46,814 There is nothing to be nervous about. 223 00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:49,256 - Have you got a bag or something? - A what? 224 00:10:49,327 --> 00:10:50,588 - Do you have a bag? - I have a purse. 225 00:10:50,661 --> 00:10:51,787 Well, give him the purse then. 226 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:52,886 All right. 227 00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:02,599 You like potato and I like potahto 228 00:11:03,005 --> 00:11:06,338 You like tomato and I like tomahto 229 00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:09,900 Potato, potahto Tomato, tomahto 230 00:11:09,978 --> 00:11:12,378 Let's call the whole thing off. 231 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:15,571 Uh... 232 00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:17,647 I mean, that sucked, didn't it? 233 00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,016 Maybe if you sang it like Louis Armstrong. 234 00:11:20,087 --> 00:11:21,247 Maybe, yeah. 235 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,050 I mean, here's the thing, though. 236 00:11:24,124 --> 00:11:25,557 Who is that? 237 00:11:26,993 --> 00:11:31,623 My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good. 238 00:11:31,698 --> 00:11:32,960 Because when you play a rock show, 239 00:11:33,032 --> 00:11:34,693 it's really easy to know if you're doing great 240 00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:38,896 because chicks will flash their boobs at you when you're up onstage. 241 00:11:38,971 --> 00:11:42,202 And you're like, "Oh! That must've sounded pretty good." 242 00:11:42,274 --> 00:11:46,642 If that happens here, my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die. 243 00:11:51,983 --> 00:11:54,246 Frank? Frank, are you okay? 244 00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:00,847 - Maybe we should... - Yeah. Frank. 245 00:12:01,157 --> 00:12:03,056 - Frank. Frank. - Frank. 246 00:12:05,227 --> 00:12:08,196 But I can't see anybody but you 247 00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:11,256 Flip flop 248 00:12:11,332 --> 00:12:13,926 You know, I might be crazy, but I have this weird suspicion 249 00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:15,902 that things are going well with us. 250 00:12:16,671 --> 00:12:19,538 You know, I have that same suspicion. 251 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,266 But having never been in something like this before, 252 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:26,904 I feel the need to ask, how am I doing? 253 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,073 Come on. 254 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,878 No, I'm sort of serious. 255 00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,850 All right, fine, forget it. 256 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,247 I'm just saying, you know, it seems to me, on paper, 257 00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:41,258 that this thing we have is pretty great. 258 00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:42,588 Yes, nerd. 259 00:12:43,294 --> 00:12:46,286 On paper, this thing we have is pretty great. 260 00:12:46,364 --> 00:12:47,887 Mark is a great boyfriend. 261 00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:52,493 I have no complaints at all. Everything is good. 262 00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:59,034 I don't know. I don't feel right about this. 263 00:12:59,108 --> 00:13:01,736 Are you kidding me? This is so much fun. 264 00:13:02,345 --> 00:13:04,779 Look, we took a road trip today. 265 00:13:05,213 --> 00:13:07,374 We chased your mom's long lost love down a freeway. 266 00:13:07,449 --> 00:13:08,780 He's a loon, Justin. 267 00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:09,908 So he freaked out a little bit. 268 00:13:09,985 --> 00:13:11,145 He got nervous. I mean, you would, too. 269 00:13:11,219 --> 00:13:12,948 He was fine by the time we got him back inside the car. 270 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:14,282 Yeah, well, he cried himself to sleep. 271 00:13:14,355 --> 00:13:16,585 I mean, I don't know why you're pushing. 272 00:13:16,657 --> 00:13:18,318 Why do you want him to spend time with my mom? 273 00:13:18,392 --> 00:13:20,053 How would that help her? 274 00:13:20,127 --> 00:13:22,755 I don't like this. I don't think this is gonna work. I'm calling this off. 275 00:13:22,829 --> 00:13:25,593 Come on. No, no, no. Look, we're here. Let's just see what happens. 276 00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:26,962 What happens is, I drive him home. 277 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,227 Now, look. You need to breathe. 278 00:13:28,301 --> 00:13:30,098 I'm breathing. Okay? 279 00:13:36,341 --> 00:13:37,535 Mom. 280 00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:39,067 Oh! 281 00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:40,509 There you are. 282 00:13:40,579 --> 00:13:42,546 So, what's the big surprise? 283 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:45,343 You gonna try to check me into an old folks home? 284 00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:46,508 It's a long story. 285 00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,245 One that we'd love to tell you over a cup of coffee, 286 00:13:48,319 --> 00:13:50,183 somewhere far from this place. 287 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:56,319 Frank. 288 00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:58,754 Hello, Marlene. 289 00:13:58,828 --> 00:14:03,595 My gosh. I can't believe it's really you. 290 00:14:04,767 --> 00:14:06,632 Wanna catch up? 291 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:09,461 Sure. 292 00:14:14,142 --> 00:14:15,200 Oh, boy. 293 00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:16,799 Oh, boy. 294 00:14:18,869 --> 00:14:21,269 Do you think we should stand by... 295 00:14:22,406 --> 00:14:25,971 She's fine. Let's just let this unfold. 296 00:14:28,677 --> 00:14:32,135 Come here, sonny. Let me tell you about the Civil War. 297 00:14:32,214 --> 00:14:35,110 Grandpa, leave me alone. You smell like death. 298 00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,643 I'm gonna get some punch. 299 00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:50,491 Excuse me. You guys are really adorable. It's really nice. 300 00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:54,933 So Leslie's like, "That's it, I'm taking him home." 301 00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,561 So, we look over, and he's not even in the car anymore. 302 00:14:57,618 --> 00:15:00,280 - You're kidding. - No. It's insane. 303 00:15:01,606 --> 00:15:03,938 What does Leslie think about all this? 304 00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:05,874 Oh, God, Leslie. I don't even know. 305 00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:07,656 I think I just lost track of her in all the chaos. 306 00:15:07,712 --> 00:15:09,407 Anyway, so, now he and Marlene 307 00:15:09,436 --> 00:15:11,098 are off somewhere, doing God knows what. 308 00:15:11,882 --> 00:15:13,247 I don't wanna... 309 00:15:19,357 --> 00:15:21,791 You're suing me for alimony? 310 00:15:22,158 --> 00:15:23,216 Yes. 311 00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:26,299 When we were married, I got accustomed to a certain lifestyle. 312 00:15:26,329 --> 00:15:29,092 And I'm entitled to money to maintain that lifestyle. 313 00:15:29,164 --> 00:15:30,426 This is insane. 314 00:15:30,499 --> 00:15:32,524 Yeah, it's insane, but it's all I got. 315 00:15:32,601 --> 00:15:36,196 And you can make it all go away if you just gave me a chance. 316 00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:37,965 - What? - Three dates. 317 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:41,440 One date. 318 00:15:42,777 --> 00:15:44,005 Coffee? 319 00:15:44,078 --> 00:15:46,568 So your plan was to sue me, 320 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,945 and then to use that to blackmail me into falling in love with you. 321 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:52,807 Yeah. 322 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,652 Hey. You guys sound good. 323 00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:06,156 You really think so? It's impossible to tell. 324 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,788 It's like Bizarro Land out there. 325 00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:09,924 As soon as we finish a song, it's dead silence. 326 00:16:10,001 --> 00:16:11,366 Well, what do you expect, you know. 327 00:16:11,436 --> 00:16:13,369 They're like a million years old. 328 00:16:13,804 --> 00:16:15,567 Well, I'm glad you like it. 329 00:16:15,639 --> 00:16:17,630 You were always a big supporter of the band. 330 00:16:17,708 --> 00:16:19,266 Hey. Break's over. 331 00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:21,277 Ludgate, cracking the whip. 332 00:16:21,511 --> 00:16:24,673 Yeah, well, these old bags paid for some entertainment. 333 00:16:24,747 --> 00:16:27,716 - So get up there. - No, you're right. Okay. 334 00:16:27,783 --> 00:16:29,978 Hey, you should play that song The Way You Look Tonight. 335 00:16:30,052 --> 00:16:31,075 Hmm. 336 00:16:31,152 --> 00:16:32,244 It's a good one. 337 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:37,383 The next one's going out to a special little lady named April Ludgate. 338 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,656 Someday 339 00:16:43,998 --> 00:16:46,796 When I'm all alone 340 00:16:47,768 --> 00:16:50,395 Are you guys... never mind. 341 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,748 - Why do you care? - I don't. 342 00:16:53,773 --> 00:16:58,229 Just thinking of you 343 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:01,511 And the way you look tonight 344 00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:04,049 What about you? What do you do for a living? 345 00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:08,284 - Well, it's been an interesting ride. - Yeah? 346 00:17:08,352 --> 00:17:11,719 I got a job at a grocery store right out of college 347 00:17:11,789 --> 00:17:13,757 just for a way to make money. 348 00:17:14,525 --> 00:17:18,221 And here I am, 40 years later, completely unemployed. 349 00:17:20,697 --> 00:17:21,925 Wow. 350 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,330 What do you say we pick up where we left off? 351 00:17:28,737 --> 00:17:30,364 You're not serious, right? 352 00:17:30,439 --> 00:17:32,566 I'm serious as a heart attack. 353 00:17:32,641 --> 00:17:34,039 Of which I've had four. 354 00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:39,312 And the world is cold 355 00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:42,343 I will feel a glow 356 00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:45,852 Just thinking of you 357 00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:51,380 And the way you look tonight 358 00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:59,330 Hey, Mom, are you okay? Did Frank leave? 359 00:17:59,465 --> 00:18:01,625 Uh, yeah. He just stepped away for a second. 360 00:18:01,699 --> 00:18:03,098 I'm so sorry we brought him here. 361 00:18:03,168 --> 00:18:04,396 Oh, it's okay. 362 00:18:04,469 --> 00:18:06,266 It was very thoughtful, sweetheart. 363 00:18:06,337 --> 00:18:07,736 It's not your fault that he turned out to be... 364 00:18:08,907 --> 00:18:11,067 Excuse me. Hi. Excuse me, hi. 365 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:15,374 My name is Frank Beckerson. 366 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:17,372 Marlene, 367 00:18:17,981 --> 00:18:19,140 you 368 00:18:20,616 --> 00:18:21,742 blew it. 369 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:29,582 Take one last look, Marlene, because you'll never see this body again. 370 00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:33,818 Marlene, what happened between you two? 371 00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,590 Tell me everything. I want every detail. 372 00:18:35,964 --> 00:18:38,625 Hey, we're almost done, so we can leave soon. 373 00:18:38,699 --> 00:18:41,634 Yes. I'll take you for an ice cream malted, 374 00:18:41,702 --> 00:18:43,966 and then we can go choose our caskets. 375 00:18:44,038 --> 00:18:45,504 God, why does everything we do 376 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:47,836 have to be cloaked in, like, 15 layers of irony? 377 00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:50,540 Here's something un-ironic. 378 00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:52,100 Ever since you've been hanging out with that meathead, 379 00:18:52,178 --> 00:18:54,304 you've become completely lame. 380 00:18:55,114 --> 00:18:56,741 You know what? We're breaking up. 381 00:18:58,050 --> 00:19:00,746 Fine, then you can't make out with me when you're drunk anymore. 382 00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:03,014 - Fine, then I'll make out with Ben. - Pass. 383 00:19:03,088 --> 00:19:04,452 No, he's my boyfriend. 384 00:19:04,522 --> 00:19:06,547 You can either make out with both of us or none of us. 385 00:19:06,624 --> 00:19:08,592 - Fine, none of you. - Fine. 386 00:19:11,929 --> 00:19:14,863 I've got you 387 00:19:15,432 --> 00:19:16,899 Under my skin 388 00:19:22,938 --> 00:19:24,633 Everything okay, Knope? 389 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,374 My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he's smart and interesting, 390 00:19:29,445 --> 00:19:31,639 and there's a lot of things about him I like. 391 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,840 But he acted like a real jerk today. 392 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:37,148 I don't know. There's something about the way 393 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,651 he treats people or something. 394 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,685 He's a tourist. 395 00:19:42,256 --> 00:19:45,657 He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, 396 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,193 puts them in his scrapbook, and moves on. 397 00:19:48,261 --> 00:19:50,752 All he's interested in are stories. 398 00:19:51,697 --> 00:19:52,686 Huh. 399 00:19:53,866 --> 00:19:56,664 Basically, Leslie, he's selfish. 400 00:19:57,569 --> 00:20:00,732 And you're not. And that's why you don't like him. 401 00:20:02,974 --> 00:20:05,636 I told you so. It's Duke Silver. 402 00:20:06,443 --> 00:20:09,901 Duke, can I have your autograph? I love your music. 403 00:20:10,915 --> 00:20:13,475 You're mistaken, ladies. Move along. 404 00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:18,180 I got you under my skin 405 00:20:21,124 --> 00:20:22,557 Yeah. Go Mouse Rat. 406 00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:28,062 I thought you were just terrific. 407 00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,154 Seriously? 408 00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:30,858 You sound like Dean Martin. 409 00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:34,257 If I were 50 years younger... 410 00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:39,065 What? Wait. Who's Dean Martin? 411 00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:43,098 If I'm not mistaken, that was the old-lady version of flashing. 412 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:44,370 Nailed the gig. 413 00:20:45,621 --> 00:20:49,408 Look, it's sad, I know. But we'll still be friends. 414 00:20:49,825 --> 00:20:51,588 We're gonna see each other all the time. 415 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,651 I come into town, like, every other weekend. 416 00:20:53,728 --> 00:20:56,972 No. You guys can't break up. We can fix this. Let me talk to Leslie. 417 00:20:57,016 --> 00:20:59,310 Tom, it's over. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. 418 00:20:59,353 --> 00:21:01,133 Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong? 419 00:21:01,171 --> 00:21:02,195 No. 420 00:21:02,464 --> 00:21:04,659 Seriously, this has nothing to do with you. 421 00:21:05,124 --> 00:21:06,450 Can we still go suit shopping? 422 00:21:06,545 --> 00:21:07,772 Of course. 423 00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:10,125 Armani's having a sale right now. 424 00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,900 I'm gonna get you a pocket square. 425 00:21:12,218 --> 00:21:13,617 All right. 32225

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