Original subtitles

(Kirby) In a world where one film can blow your mind,

three boys have been waiting years for the ultimate movie-going experience.

(all) Total Mindblower !

(Kirby) There's just one thing they didn't count on...

(Mrs. Buckets) May I see your ticket, please?

Oh, yeah, sure. Sor-- oh, no.

Consider yourself totally mindblown...

And in a lot of trouble, mister.

Wait!

(theme song playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

I told you to wait to see that movie

until I could make sure it was age appropriate.

But I think we can both agree that you,

as a mom, aren't really in a position to judge

whether an action movie is appropriate or not.

I mean, let's face it. Mom's just don't get action movies.

Oh. (chuckles) Would you like to stop talking now,

or would you like to keep digging this grave further?

All right, fine.

How long am I grounded for?

Grounding is much too easy. You get...

The ball.

Oh, no. Not the ball.

That's right. As punishment, you will have to untangle

the unholy mass of junk that grows in our basement.

(sighs)

Help! I've been stuck in this thing for ages.

Which explains why you haven't seen much of me lately.

Oh, and, um, you can forget about ever seeing that movie.

Cha-cha-cha. (blows)

(Mrs. Buckets) And no scissors!

Yaow!

Oh, I should have just stayed in the ball.

(sighs)

(grunts)

What's it caught on?

(grunts)

(man) "Happy birthday, duder.

Kinda low on bread, so I owe you a solid.

Page me anytime. Love, uncle Leon."

Uncle Leon?

Solid?

Hi. I'm Dawn Buckets, and I believe you are choking.

Can I, uh... How do I say this?

Um... assume that there is some selfish motivation

behind this seemingly selfless act?

Mom, sometimes people just need some medical attention,

and if it so happens to be that hot guy, Tavares,

from my Spanish class who then falls in love with me,

then bonus.

And there we are.

Uh, mom, who's uncle Leon?

Uh, Dawn, uh, could you get out of here for a minute?

I'm not gonna practice kissing this thing,

but don't come in my room.

Where did you hear that name?

I found those in the ball. I have an uncle I never knew about?

You just haven't seen him since you were two.

He's my brother.

But only by blood.

-Is he, like, a criminal or something? -Not technically, no.

Although I'll tell you something.

Those solids of his really ought to be considered illegal.

Yeah. What is a solid, anyway?

A solid is sort of like a favor, Kirb.

Your uncle Leon is one of these guys

who can just sort of make anything happen at any time for anybody,

which is awesome until it ends up completely ruining your life.

That seems a bit dramatic.

Does it?

When we were kids...

I really wanted a pet,

and then one day, uncle Leon came in and played the hero.

He said, "Let me do you a solid."

Suddenly, here comes Leon... With a wolf.

And that wolf... Bit off...

My butt cheek.

This butt cheek is fake.

(hollow thump)

(sobs)

That's the saddest story I've ever heard.

This is how mine sounds.

-(jiggling) -(growling)

No!

Kirby, you have to promise me that you won't contact uncle Leon.

I promise. Jeez.

Hey, guys. How did you get up here?

Doesn't matter.

Right now, Total Mindblow is the only thing I care about,

and it... is... amazing.

Aw, man. Don't tell me that.

Tell me, it was, like, "okay," or "pretty cool," or something.

Okay. It was "pretty cool."

Look what the "pretty cool" movie did to Eli.

Ka-powie.

Boom-boom.

Fire monster.

Whoa.

It literally blew his mind.

But you're okay, though?

I am beyond okay.

This movie has changed my entire life.

Colors pops more. Food tastes better.

I don't even hate screaming babies anymore.

You need to see this movie, Kirby,

because if you don't, you and I are gonna drift slowly apart

until we're no longer friends.

Well, luckily for me,

I happen to know a guy who can make anything happen.

Come on, Tavares, you gorgeous spaniard.

You know you wanna choke on one.

Hmm... still a considerable amount of surplus meat.

That "turkey legs for toddlers" charity was a huge mistake. My bad.

Just keep passing them out.

Oh, and see where all these stray dogs are coming from.

-Shoo. Get out of here. -(dog whines)

You don't belong in a school, you dog.

(gagging)

Oh, come on. Seriously?

Better not choke on anything when I'm gone.

(gagging, spits)

Are you okay?

Oh, gross. You owe me a new sweater.

Have you seen Total Mindblower yet?

Um, no. It was just yesterday that--

See? We're drifting apart already.

I'm working on it.

I called my uncle's pager, whatever that thing is.

What's a pager?

What's up, dudes?

Mr. Jenkins came down with a bad case of the runskis,

so I'm canceling today's science exam.

My name is... Mr. Uncle Leon.

Now, which one of you little dude mans is Kirby Buckets?

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Nephew!

Great.

(chuckles)

Yeah, so wild Gil ended up being a Brad,

so they captured him, and then we had go there and save him.

It was crazy.

(chuckles) Oh, man!

So, how'd you get my mom to let me see this?

I may have cashed in a solid or two.

What-- hey! No! Stop! Don't!

Sorry, lady,

but this wouldn't have happened if my mom let me see Total Mindblower .

(grunts angrily)

What?

Probably best if you didn't tell her about us hanging out by the way. You know?

Your mom's not exactly my biggest fan.

Got it.

So how do these solids work?

Like, if I wanted a million dollars, could you get that for me?

Of courseski.

Although, I'm no magic genie.

That might take me a little while

to come up with that sort of cash.

-Got it. -All right. Nephew duder,

are you ready for...

(both) Total Mindblower !

Earlier today, our school nearly lost its heart and moral compass.

I'm speaking about me.

But thanks to the actions of one righteous, quick thinking hero,

I was saved.

Today, we honor that hero.

-Gee, I wonder who he's talking about. -(chuckles)

Here she is. Our hero...

The frumpy stray dog who saved my life.

What?

I can still smell her turkey breath and feel her furry arms around me,

loosening the death morsel from my airways.

(Mitchell) That's right. Good hero.

Wh-- wait! No, no, no. That's-- that's not what happened!

I have something you need to see, and it stinks.

Ew! No.

No. A-- no. I mean-- it's not-- ugh.

I know the truth.

Meet me after school.

(man) That's enough total mind blowing for me.

Just kidding. I'm actually your clone!

That... Was... Amazing.

I can barely feel my face.

This was great, uncle Leon.

Agreed.

I think I like being an uncle again.

Let's keep this party going.

Your uncle Leon owes you, like, eight more back solids, duder,

and dream big!

Eli.

Come on, man. You have to snap out of this.

Blown mind, huh?

I had that once.

Whoa. Gil-ed cheese.

So how do we change him back?

If you want to get him back to normal,

you're gonna have to go to where he is and blow it back.

-So you're saying-- -That's right.

We're gonna blow your mind.

Huh. I really thought some of that stuff would work.

And yet, my mind remains unblown.

Isn't that... Mind blowing?

No.

-Hi, uh, Kirby? -What's u...

-Hi. -Hi.

-(chuckles) -I just wanted to tell you

I'm a big fan of your website.

-Oh. -Oh, love that Shredlock guy.

(stammers)

Hi.

(chuckles)

(crowd) Oh!

Just try to stop me, Zach Lavine. You can't.

I guess that's why they call you Kirby Buckets.

Hey, man. I'm trying.

It's pretty good.

This has by far been the best day of my life.

Neon Leon knows how to party.

So I got one last birthday solid left, and...

This might sound kinda dumb, but...

I wanna be as cool as you, you know?

Living that solid life.

That's the smartest thing you've ever said.

I'm gonna make it happen, cap'n.

Those snug enough, Mr. Buckets?

-Yeah, thanks! -All good?

(sighs) What have you got for me?

Oh, just a little something I like to call, "video proof

that you deserve credit for saving Mitchell's life",

because that's what it is.

(grunting)

What do you want?

Oh, I'm gonna need a pretty big solid.

-(phone rings) -K-bucks.

(man) Mr. Buckets? This is your website host.

Seems your website got gunked up by a bot that creates fake subscribers,

so we're gonna have to shut it down until we figure it out.

Wait! Wait, what?

No, please! Wait! No, no! Please!

Ugh.

Hey, Buckets!

Tell your uncle to stop threatening to get my dad fired.

-What? -I pretended to like your stupid website,

so tell him to lay off.

Oh, and never talk to me again.

(growling)

Your mom warned you about uncle Leon.

(howls)

-(snarls) -(Tricia) Ah! My foot!

(stomach rumbles)

Bad crab legs.

Buckets.

Tell your uncle not to get my dad fired.

And please, don't be my fan anymore.

Uncle Leon, your solids are killing me.

I don't want any more. I just take back that last--

(Leon) Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh, no.

(Leon) Whoo!

What's up, Kirb? You like it, man?

She's all yours, K-dog.

I mean, you wanna be like me.

You gotta have a sweet ride!

I don't want this. Where did you even get this car?

I put on this valet jacket.

Some dude just, like, handed me his keys. Ha!

I think his name was Chad or Thad...

Hey, non-Brad.

Looks like you have something of ours,

and lest you forget, what's Brad's is Brad's.

You know what? I think it was Brad.

No.

Look, Brads, this is all just a big misunderstanding.

I understand you stole my car,

and I also understand that you're going to pay for it.

I don't even want your car. Here, take it.

Huh-ho. No way, man.

I'm not gonna let these Brads ruin my solid, Kirb.

-(whimpers) -Uncle Leon!

(laughs)

Let me guess, uncle Solid gave you some cheap knock-offs,

and now they melted to the pavement.

Actually, no. Zach Lavine gave these to me.

Oh, Zach Lavine. Well, then...

Prepare to be eradicated.

(grunts)

Thank you all for coming here.

-I know I told you that the hero-- -(clears throat)

Before I go any further, I have no choice but to announce

that big Ricky...

Is my boyfriend.

(crowd gasps)

First girlfriend! Whoo! Eat it, Douglas!

Now that that's over with, I want you all to see this.

(gags and spits)

As you can clearly see,

it is I who saved Mitchell, not the dog.

I'm the hero. So, please just feel free

to fall in love with me now. Thank you.

Oh.

So, it wasn't the dog?

Well, who cares then?

I might as well have just kept choking.

(crowd boos)

You guys are booing me? I'm the hero!

Yeah, we want a dog to be the hero!

Ricky, you gave me the tape-- (gagging)

Dawn, are you choking?

Yee-haw!

(gagging)

(gagging)

Finally.

He's mine.

(whines)

(crowd cheers)

Heimlich train... Dog... Hero...

Mind... totally... blowing.

Ah!

Aah!

Hey, Fish.

Glad you could join me.

Where are we?

From what I can tell,

we're inside our own blown minds.

Or as I like to call it,

Rancho Del Mindblow.

Not now, Oscar.

Jiggle.

(both) Ha.

You're such a good girl, aren't you?

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

I-- I think I'm in love.

So, you ready to meet my parents?

I'm breaking up with you.

Help! I'm choking! (coughs)

No, you're not.

(grunts)

Wild times, eh, dudeski?

I tell you what. I messed up. I'll throw in a bonus solid.

No! I never want to give or get another solid from you ever again!

I don't want to be anything like you!

Whoa.

You just snaked my chill, bro.

-Throw them in the pit. -Wait, wait!

You guys have a Brad pit?

Yes, but Brad Pitt got famous way after we built the Brad pit.

-He's not even a real Brad. -Really? What's his real name?

William. Bradley is his middle name.

-Huh. -Yep.

William Bradley Pitt.

Born the 18th of December, 1963 in Shawnee, Okla--

Wait! Why are we talking about Brad-- I mean, William Pitt?

Get them!

Gotcha.

What's going on?

Well, you saw that movie without my permission,

you promised you wouldn't contact my pain-in-the-fake-butt brother,

and you did anyway.

So, I needed to teach you a lesson you wouldn't forget,

and luckily, Leon owed me a big solid.

Yeah, still had to make up for that whole butt biting wolf incident, right, sis?

(hollow thump)

Well, what about the Brads?

Well, Leon got us a pretty sweet deal on these sweaters,

so we owe him a solid.

However, there's something you should know about us Brads.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

We can't be trusted.

Prepare to face the wrath of Brad!

(grunts)

What sort of chicanery is this? Get it off!

You'll pay for this. A Brad never forgets.

Brads, retreat!

(grunting)

Hey, sorry about tricking you, duder.

I mean, I wanted to be a better uncle to you,

so when your mom said I could help teach you a lesson,

I was on board.

How is that for "not getting action"?

(chuckles)

"Boom".

Mom... behind it all?

Leon...

Brads... Cool mom...

Total mind blowing.

(Eli and Fish) Kirby!

Hello.

Anyone home?

Well, more for me.

(theme music playing)

Whoa!

I got a fake butt cheek.

The entire-- whoa. (laughs)

I've never said it out loud, and I've never felt better.

It's a little high. It's a little high a little bit.

Can we lower it?

If anyone's listening, and you have this...

This is my turkey leg.

Meat marker.