Original subtitles

I don't know about this, Kirby.

My tummy's trouble meter is off the charts.

Yeah, do we really need the day off of school that bad?

Guys, come on.

We're talking about the first official Bro-morial Day here.

We already missed Bro-dependence Day, Lay-bro Day,

and all eight nights of Bro-nukkah.

We're going to get the day off of school.

Besides, we've already put a lot of work into this.

(students chattering)

I named him Dog...

because he's this man's best friend.

(all) Awww!

Dog? Dog!

Has anyone seen my rabbit, Dog?

All right, guys. Operation Chili-Dog is a go.

(gags)

(gagging)

No! Stop! You're all eating Dog!

(retching)

My rabbit!

(students screaming, clamoring)

School is officially canceled!

Everyone go home and try to deal

with the emotional stress of having eaten a beloved pet!

(screaming, clamoring continuing)

Happy Bro-morial Day, fellas.

(theme song playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

I can't believe you thought your "Chili-Dog" plan would actually work.

Your scheme reeks of Kirby Buckets.

But I cannot prove he was involved.

-A bro never tells. -Especially on Bro-morial Day.

So, you leave me no choice but to meet with your mothers

after school and determine a the appropriate punishment.

Spoiler alert:

you're both in a ridiculous amount of trouble.

-(wind whooshes) -(rock guitar riff plays)

(sighs)

Happy Bro-morial Day!

We're having a barbecue!

I hate this holiday!

(sighs)

Face it, Kirby, no good can come from a principal-mom meeting.

We're doomed.

I'm really sorry you guys got caught.

But don't worry. I'm not gonna let you guys take the fall for this.

I have a plan.

You do realize, it was one of your plans

that got us in trouble in the first place, right?

Yep. Which is exactly why the best way to get out of a plan is with another plan.

That doesn't really make a lot of sense,

but he's so charismatic, I think we should just go with it.

Aah! The mask isn't working.

I can smell your breath from here.

And why do you keep looking around like that?

Um... You know how I'm terrified of dentists?

Well, I kind of signed up for this-- uh, this "surprise dentist" thing

where they show up when you least expect it.

This way, you don't have to go to their office

and there's none of that awful waiting.

You did what?

Pretty smart, right?

I need you to think very carefully.

What was his name?

Dr. Pierson.

Wait, no. That's my optometrist.

His name... is Dan the Bounty Hunter Dentist.

Do you realize what you've done?

Dan is a dead-eyed monster!

He doesn't care about you.

All he wants is the tooth, and he won't stop until he gets it.

Wait. Really? You're freaking me out.

-You should be scared. -(doors slam open)

(gruff voice) Dawn Buckets!

I am here for your tooth!

Melinda?

(whispers) No.

Who's Melinda?

Run!

(screaming)

My "ish" with your sons is twofold.

One: They ruined an expertly cooked chili.

And two: They caused pandemonium in my school,

the likes of which has not been seen since we discovered

the man who wrote the song "Whoomp! There It Is" living in the basement.

I went down there for TP and whoomp, there he was.

Anyhoo, for these reasons,

I must insist on some cool and unusual punishment.

My, oh my. Surely, my sweet Eli can...

My sweet Eli can be forgiven for his lapse in judgment.

(clears throat)

Oh, that's me. (clears throat)

Yes, punishment hardly seems fair.

Oh, I agree. For it must be punishment enough

to have mothers who are splitting time between raising children and...

their acting careers.

That's right. I attend community theater.

You both make convincing police women with nothing to lose,

but not mothers.

You're both clearly counterfeit moms.

Well, you see, um... (chuckles nervously) Eli?

The thing is-- Kirby?

I've got nothing.

Yet again, this whole thing reeks of Buckets.

And I'm not speaking about Lunch Lady Helen's signature Fish Buckets.

(sniffs) But not to worry.

You see, I've already called your real mothers

and informed them of the entire situation.

Mom! Mother?

Mom!

This lying stops right now, young man.

I will not have you turn out like your brother Kurt.

Do you know he told me yesterday

he wants to start his own ghost-busting business?

That will not be you.

Yeah. And you got us called into the principal's office!

I will not have him judging my parenting.

News flash: Popsicles do make a great dinner.

They have all the food groups: fruit color, water, wood.

Plus, he wants all of us...

to join his book club just to keep you knuckleheads out of detention.

Yeah, and I'm more of a magazine girl!

-(grunting) -You've got to do something, Kirby.

Do not blow our Bro-morial Day.

-Mmm! -Ow!

Look, Mrs. Porter, Mrs. Fisher.

Let's not lose sight of the big picture here.

Sure, Fish and Eli got in a little bit of trouble today.

But you know what? They learned a lot today about rabbits,

and chili, and maybe-- just maybe-- themselves.

Now, what do you say the five of us get out of here

and ease into a large pizza?

-Ooh! Pizza! -No!

My son is no longer allowed to hang out with you.

Yeah. What she said. Parenting.

-What? -Are you kidding me? What-- Mom!

Come on, Eli. You're making me late for karaoke.

Happy Bro-morial Day, Kirby.

See? I told you guys I could find a loophole to us hanging out.

Just a couple of guys who happen to be

in the bathroom at the same time.

Anything exciting happen since your moms banned us

from hanging out together?

Nah, not really. I mean, my grades have gotten way better,

and I recently discovered, me and physics have a real chemistry.

Sorry. Science joke. I'm into those now.

And I started working out and caring about my health.

My trainer says I'm getting yoked.

Am I getting yoked?

I think I'm getting yoked.

Wow, it, uh-- it sounds like you guys are

really getting your lives back on track.

Maybe your moms are right. Maybe I am a bad influence.

What? No way. We make tons of bad decisions, too, you know.

A-ha!

Busted!

And you, Eli... Once Fish's mom told me how upset I should be,

I got really upset!

It looks like you boys have left us no choice.

Ankle bracelets.

And not the pretty kind I wear at the pool.

After I activate this remote, if you come near Kirby again,

those ankle bracelets will make a high-pitched beep.

(loud, high-pitched beeping)

(shouts) Good luck hanging out now!

That was sarcastic!

-What? -What?

I think we're safe here for now.

Okay, Belinda. Or should I call you Melinda? Spill it.

A few years ago, I had a tooth that needed to be pulled,

but I didn't want to go to the dentist.

So I called Dan the Bounty Hunter Dentist.

I knew signing that waiver

that allowed him to pursue me anywhere was a bad idea.

Why don't we just call it off?

Don't you think I tried that?

-(door opens downstairs) -(raspy sucking sound)

That's his suction hose.

He's here.

(loud, high-pitched beeping)

(shouting) See? Nothing can keep us apart!

So, what are we doing after school?

(beeping continuing)

(sighs) I don't like this!

Why don't you like Fish?

No! He said, "I don't eat licorice!"

(loud beeping continuing)

Hold on! I've got a idea!

-(muffled mumbling) -(muffled beeping)

Sounds great, right?

Kirby! This isn't working!

(loud beeping continuing)

Wha--? Guys, come on!

What are you guys doing?

-(beeping fading) -Guys, come on!

We can fix this, right?

(beeping stops)

If it's friends you're looking for, Mr. Buckets,

might I interest you in my book club?

Just kidding. We're no longer accepting new members.

-(wind whooshes) -(rock guitar riff plays)

(sighs)

(sniffing)

Mmm! Decaying tooth breath.

(sniffs) Smells like a central incisor.

(whispering) He can smell me?

We got to do something.

Do you trust me?

(Dan laughs)

You'll never take me alive, Dan!

Hmm? (growls)

Now, let's see what we have here.

No! Please!

Eww!

I have just what you need.

Just a few more toothpicks

and my bridge will be ready for stress testing.

That's cool.

Hey, do you think I should sign up for a half-marathon?

(kisses, growls)

Is it me or is life without Kirby...

kind of dull?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Sure, I'm getting jacked and it's Vein City from here to here,

but where's the fun and excitement?

It turns out, good life choices are boring.

I bet you Kirby would know how to spice things up.

He'd say your hobbies and my muscles are pointless

unless it helps us have a good time.

I need to explore the science of fun.

And I need to exercise my fun muscle!

(both) We should chuck water balloons full of sour cream at zoo animals!

-(animals roaring) -(Eli whimpering)

(Fish) Run, run, run!

-(screaming) -(roaring)

Why are we in this dumpster?

Why does anyone get in a dumpster--

to find stuff, which is exactly why we--

Ooh! A quarter.

-Nah, it's just a bottle cap. -(sighs)

(rumbling)

(Fish screams)

(both screaming)

Eli... we're not in the dumpster anymore.

(truck beeping)

(Fish and Eli) Kirby!

Well, at least I still got you.

(clucking) Yeah. Let's go blow up some--

No, no, no! My son is not going anywhere near Kirby.

But, Mom!

Do you know how many of your broken wings I've had to fix?

Ow, ow, ow!

Man, this is crazy. I've got to get my real friends back.

(squawking)

-What did you do with our sons? -What are you talking about?

Fish never showed up for his Future Scientists of America meeting,

which is the sort of thing he does now that you're not dragging him down.

And I always totally know where Eli is... at this time.

Wait.

Fish and Eli are missing?

We gotta find Fish and Eli. And, guys, I have a plan.

Sorry, old habit. Okay, first things first.

-We need to check the S and P 'cause-- -Whoa! Whoa!

If I wanted a 14-year-old kid to tell me what to do,

I would've gone to work today.

Yes. Plus, the only thing comforting me

is knowing that my son is nowhere near you.

But if they really are missing, we need to get to them soon.

Look, Fish and Eli are like jumbo jets, okay?

Without a properly trained person guiding their movements,

they can go way off course and end up destroying a lot of lives--

Oh no!

What if they're with Kurt?

(door closes)

It looks like I'm just gonna have to find them on my own.

(both grunting)

(both gagging)

It's no use. I really wish Kirby were here right now.

-Kirby! -Kirby!

All right, fellas.

Speak to me. What are you up to?

Fish's butt divot.

Okay. So Fish and Eli are here, hanging out.

But they're not having fun without me.

So they-- they what?

They-- they...

They went to chuck water balloons full of sour cream at zoo animals!

Oh.

Why'd you take me to the school?

Lunch Lady Helen's Fish Bucket is the only smell strong enough

to overpower the stink of that tooth-rot.

(sniffing)

Yeah, that's better.

Now, let's open that mouth and see what we've got.

(raspy sucking sound)

Huh. The trail's gone cold.

(ankle bracelet beeping)

Oh no.

(ankle bracelets beeping)

(beeping grows louder)

-(both) Kirby! -Need a hand?

Why do you want to start a band?

(beeping continuing)

What am I doing? I'm yoked!

(growls)

(growls)

Okay. Now tell us why you want to start a band.

I'm gonna get you guys out of there.

Aw, man. I am really not as strong as I thought I was.

Oh my! Garbage!

Kids, it's swimming time!

(cheers, laughter)

There we go. Perfect. The truck hatch release button.

-(loud whirring) -Aah!

Why would you have a button in here that does that?

(whimpering)

(Belinda) Leave her alone!

Told you you could trust me.

Melinda.

That's right. Your non-flossing white whale.

Surprise soda attack!

(screaming)

Sugar!

Aw, I got it in my mouth!

(mouthing words)

Eat gumballs, Dan.

Really? Did you think that would work?

I did.

(whimpers)

Let's get that tooth.

(yelling)

Your moms were right. I am a bad influence.

What? No, you're not!

Sure you get us into trouble, but then you always get us out.

All right! Fine!

I think we need to make some kind of brace to stop the wall.

(Kirby) Come on!

(chuckles)

(sighs) And you're done.

-Wait. What? -Yeah. That's it.

We got all worked up about that? That's nothing.

What can I say? I'm great at my job.

Then what's with the get-up

and the voice and the necklace of teeth?

Eh, you know, being a dentist,

working in an office all day got really boring,

so, I bought a motorcycle and I hit the road,

looking for patients.

I'm just a normal guy.

On the weekends, I sing in a men's choir.

Oh! Okay.

That's not so scary.

I guess I should let you fix my-- You'll never take me alive!

(Belinda yelling)

She's so dramatic.

Hey, can I keep this for my tooth necklace?

(loud whirring)

(metal groaning)

This won't hold forever.

I need you guys to get me all the stickiest garbage you can find.

Jackpot.

Think they'll hold?

-Scientifically speaking-- -Who cares? Just go!

Hurry!

Well, all things considered,

I'd say Bro-morial Day was a huge success.

Thank you so much for finding and saving our sons, Kirby.

I don't know how we can repay you.

Well, you could let me hang out with Fish and Eli again.

-Okay, fine. -On one condition.

(woman) I don't know.

I just feel like the book was a little overrated.

This is preposterous.

I know these aren't your real mothers, and they're ruining my book club.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

And why won't your real mothers answer their phones?

(cell phones ringing)

Ugh! Again?

Man, I hate going to the principal's office.

Amen.

I felt that one.

A-B-B-A, A-B-A.

Oh. All right.

(gasps)

I got excited.

-Kirby! -Kirby!

Kirb-- Oh, wait.

Want some?