All language subtitles for Kirby.Buckets.S02E14_English

(Kirby) The food chain.
It's a pretty basic science.

Plants are eaten by insects,
insects are eaten by mice,

and mice are eaten by owls,
and so on.

The food chain at our school
works like this:

Pearly Todd eats everything,

and we all eat
whatever Todd tells us to.

It'd be funnier to me
if you ate this instead.

(laughs maniacally)

(Kirby) He's a big,
pearly toothed predator,

and we're all his food.

Buckets!

I want that skateboard.

(roars)

(thudding footsteps)

(growls)

(yells)

(grunts, groans)

Uh...

Uh, Todd?

Todd? Hey, buddy, uh, wake up.

This is why you should
always steal a helmet.

-(bell rings)
-(groans) What happened?

Whoa.

Kirby Buckets
knocked out Pearly Todd.

-That's not what happened.
-Kirby Buckets is a hero!

(crowd cheers)

(Kirby) Of course,
when it comes to food chains,

every once in a while, the food wins.

(theme song playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Being a hero's pretty great.

I usually just rely on
art and clever shenanigans

to get attention, but turns out,
violence works pretty well, too.

-(boy) Hey, it's Kirby.
-(girl) Oh my God, look.

(crowd murmuring)

Keep believing, kid.

And the crazy part is,

Todd doesn't remember anything
about what really happened.

It's like I really am the Bully Buster.

And since everyone thinks you're
the toughest kid in school,

me and Eli can finally wear
these super comfy Moon boots

without getting made fun of.

(chuckles)

What are you doing?

Stuffing yogurt in my locker
so nobody can see it... obviously.

Is that you?

Yep.

Morning Breeze Digestive Yogurt.

For diarrhea, nausea,
burping, and um... butt burping.

I can't believe it. (chuckles)

I should have been the
Morning Breeze Yogurt Girl.

I mean, just look at
the face I can do.

(chuckles)

Well, I just wanna know
how somebody pulled this picture

off my Facepal account.

Well, when you post pictures online,

they basically become public
for anyone to use

however they want.

We need to buy
every single one of these

that we can find and hide them.

No one can see.

See what?

That outfit? (laughs)

Hey, Mandy.
No need to look down.

It's just normal yogurt, really.

-(laughs)
-(clears throat)

Check out who this is.

-Dawnarrhea.
-(girls laugh)

Congratulations! You're a model...
for butt yogurt.

(laughter)

(all laughing)

Come on, Kirby, tell us again.

Okay, okay, but this is the last time.

(Kirby) So, there I was,
just minding my own business,

and that's when I see Todd
picking on some innocents.

So I said, "Not in my school."

And then he said,

(Kirby) "I do what I want,

because I don't respect boundaries
or social convention and stuff."

So then I did what anyone

would do if they had
a heart of a champion.

(blows)

(crowd cheering)

(Kirby) And then he was all like,

"Thank you.
You're strong, and I deserved that."

And that's pretty much
how I beat Pearly Todd.

(crowd cheering)

Yes... about that.

Order! Order in the cafeteria.

(gavel banging)

I have called this hearing,

because Todd's parents said they
would get a lawyer if I didn't.

I just wanna say...

I don't remember what happened,

but it's not cool
for one kid to go around

terrorizing the whole school, you know?

Not cool!

That's how you've spent
your whole life.

-Yeah!
-(cheering)

-(gavel banging)
-(Mitchell) Order.

Order in this cafeteria.

Mr. Buckets, your response.

(clucks) As your lawyer,

I suggest you shoot yourself
out of here in a cannon.

(splatter)

Suggestion withdrawn.

Are you guilty of this crime?

-Yes!
-(crowd gasps)

I did it.
I knocked out Pearly Todd.

But I didn't do it for me.

I did it for you.

And you, and you.

-(girls gasp)
-And for all of Forest Hills High!

I did it to put all
the bullies out there on notice

that as long as
Kirby "Bully Buster" Buckets is around,

they're not safe!

-Yeah!
-(cheering)

So, yeah, if I get
detention for that, I'd say,

it's worth it!

-(cheering)
-(gavel banging)

Order.

Shut it.

I hereby sentence you
to Maximum Saturday Detention,

where you will spend time with
the worst bullies in the county.

Most of whom have already heard
your brazen anti-bully words

thanks to Big Richard's live blog.

Live blog! Whoo!

No?

I hired a private firm
to run Maximum Detention,

because those kids scare me.

But not to worry.

I'm sure it'll be no problem
for a bully buster such as yourself.

(crowd booing)

(gavel banging)

(metal detector beeping)

(beeping)

Uh, I think I'm a medium.

Or this.

(man over PA) Five minutes remaining
in sandwich assembly.

No breaks.

-So, you're Kirby Buckets, huh?
-(timid chuckle)

The kids here call me Shiver.

You know why?

Because I asked them to.

Don't show fear, brother.
Fear will get you eaten alive!

Which, as a taco, I'm super afraid of.

(growling)

Oh no! I showed too much fear!

We hear you don't like bullies.

Guess what?

We have feelings, too, man,

and when our feelings get hurt,
other people get hurt.

Like, like, real hurt.

But I heard what you did
to Pearly Todd, man.

And that's a tough dude.

(chuckles) So I'm gonna be
keeping my distance.

But just know, we don't like you.

(man over PA)
Kirby Buckets, please report

to The Colonel's office, immediately.

Hey, that's me! Uh, I gotta get going,
but, you know, great talking to you.

Just go away and let me
read my encyclopedia,

because that's what kids do
when they get beat up.

They read encyclopedias.

But Kirby didn't really
beat you up, man.

And you need to tell
everyone that

so he can get out of
Saturday detention.

He can't survive in there,

and we're really
worried about him.

You don't seem
that worried about him.

It's the boots.

It's like my feet grew mouths,
and they're eating cotton candy.

For me, it's like
stepping on kittens. (chuckles)

But, you know, in a good way.

(Fish) What if we could prove there was

absolutely no way Kirby
could've taken you out?

Sure. Whatever.

I'm sure it's more interesting
than learning about

things that start
with "C" through "C-H."

It's not weird, you know,
having to use another man's office.

In fact, my wife has
the same haircut.

So I pretend I'm looking at

a picture of my wife
and not another man,

whose desk chair I warm
my bottom in every Saturday.

May I offer you a sandwich?

Uh, (chuckles) I'm good, thanks.

You are aware

that it is rude to refuse
another man's sandwich?

Uh... no?

Too late! My sandwich offer
is rescinded.

It says here in this file
that you gave

the infamous Pearly Todd
quite the whooping.

This is all just
a big misunderstanding. I swear.

I mean, look at me.
I couldn't even fight a cold.

So, can I just please
get out of here?

What the sandwich?

You know, you're right.

There's no way you would have
ever laid a finger on Todd

with those molasses-slow reflexes,

but lucky for you, guilt
and innocence don't matter here.

The only thing that does matter,
is reputation.

Come now.
I wanna show you something.

Stop doing that!

Molasses-slow.

(sighs)

(Dawn) All clear.

No more Morning Breeze
Digestive Yogurt.

Looks like buying it all up
was a pretty smart move

by your good friend
Dawn "Smart Move" Buckets.

(Gil) Check it out!

That gut-clearing yogurt
with your picture on it

sold so fast,
I had to get a ton more.

Nice move, Smart Move.

I ordered so much,
they even gave me this standee.

What do you think?
I'm gonna put it in front of the door,

so it's the first thing people
see when they walk in.

Oh, you need to
burn that right now.

It doesn't even look like
she has an upset stomach!

I mean, can I get a little...

or maybe a...

Congratulations! You're our
100,000th customer.

Yeah, those balloons have been
up there for a while.

Turns out, it takes a long time
to go 100,000 customers.

As a prize, you can have
any item in the store, free of charge.

Hmm...

Let me think.

I think I'll go with...

Dawnarrhea.

(cheering)

Welcome to the Tickle Pit.

First one to laugh loses
the match and his dignity,

'cause everybody knows, you can
no longer respect a person

after you've heard
their tickle giggle.

(giggles)

(cheering)

(crowd booing)

Plus, he gets another
detention next Saturday.

And what does the winner get?

He gets to keep competing
in the Tickle Pit until he loses.

(cheering)

So, eventually,
everyone gets humiliated?

That doesn't seem fair.

Life is not fair, son. I need gladiators.

I service a very special
clientele of people

who pay top dollar for
this kind of entertainment.

Yeah! Tickle him!

What? Wrestling's basically
the same thing.

-(growling)
-(yelling)

But I didn't show fear!
This makes no sense!

Why are you telling me all this?

Well, because some of our guests don't
particularly care for the Tickle Pit.

I need you to--
Well, let me see how to put this.

Uh, remind them of their
obligation to participate.

I told you, I can't actually fight.

I don't need you to fight anybody.

Look, all you gotta do is
just, you know, look mean

and do some
weird twitches or something.

You do that, I'll let you
out of detention

a couple hours early.
What do you say?

(cheering)

Yeah, this is super weird,

so I think I'm just gonna
keep my head down.

And hopefully when
I get outta here,

it'll still be attached
to my body, but, you know, thanks.

First you refuse my sandwich,
and now this? Why, I--

(clears throat) Well...
enjoy the rest of your stay.

Whoa, hey.

(Colonel) Attention, detainees.
It has come to my attention,

that one of you, a Mr. Kirby Buckets,

did not best Pearly Todd in combat,

but was rather the victim
of an unfortunate misunderstanding.

As such, please be gentle

with this exceedingly
fragile young man,

who has molasses-slow reflexes,

and hates bullies. (chuckles)

As you were.

Hey, now. Let's not
do anything rash.

I mean, no, I didn't
beat anyone up,

but hey, violence
isn't the answer, right?

But it sure raises
a lot of questions.

I'm not gonna point out that
that doesn't make any sense.

I'm just gonna ask you
to think about the real enemy.

I mean, who's
the biggest bully here?

Big like seven-foot Tim?

Or big in personality,
like Anthony.

What? No, the Colonel.

I mean, come on.

He forces you guys
to tickle each other

for the entertainment
of weird business people.

Who could be
a bigger bully than that?

Yeah, he's right.

I say we use our violence
on the Colonel!

(all) Yeah!

No, not violence. That's not the way.

What we need is a clever plan,

and, guys, clever plans
are sort of my thing.

That's why they call me
Kirby "Smart Move" Buckets.

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

Ah.

That is the least clever plan
I have ever seen, Mr. Buckets.

Looks like you've earned yourself
a spot in the Tickle Pit.

(Pearly Todd) Why are we here?

(whines)

(Fish) We're here so you can see

how Kirby Buckets could not
have possibly beat you up.

(sighs)

Huh.

These are his pajamas.

He still wears them when he
thinks no one will find out.

Could a kid with
airplane pajamas beat you up?

It takes a brave man to fly.

Hand me that drawing
over there on Kirby's desk.

No.

(whiny) Todd, I'm
too comfortable to get up.

(whiny) Todd, be a bud.

Ugh.

Fine.

Look, do you see this?

It's him riding a Pegasus...

in a helmet.

(Fish) Even in his fantasies,
he's thinking about his safety.

Does that scream,
"tough guy" to you?

Riding on a flying horse
looks pretty tough.

Look, guys, I'm gonna
get out of here

before Kirby beats me up
for being in his room.

But let's hang out sometime,
you know?

Us pathetic nerds,
we gotta stick together.

(laughs)

All right, later.

Wait.

I remember now.

Kirby didn't knock me out.

That's what we've been
trying to tell you.

Go tell Principal Mitchell that--

I'm going to destroy Kirby!

(screams)

(Pearly Todd screams)

We did it, man.

Come on, Dawn. It's been hours.

No one is getting that standee.

Yeah! Even if it should
have been my face on it!

I feel how I feel, Dawn.

Fine. I can wait you out, Dawn,
and I can wait all day.

Me too.

(stomach gurgling)

Sounds like Dawnarrhea
is having some

intestinal distress. (laughs)

(stomach gurgling)

Oh no.

(Gil) I know what you're thinking,

and yes, we do have
more hot dogs.

-Oh, no. I-- I--
-The yogurt!

The yogurt, it's not working!

Where's the bathroom?

(gasps)

(both whimpering)

Ha, I win.

Dawn!

Where am I supposed to--

-(stomach gurgling)
-Oh no.

(Gil) No!

Not the mop bucket.
That's where I keep the hot dogs.

(Mandy) Don't look at me!

Now, that is the face
of intestinal distress.

Business ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to my Tickle Pit.

(cheering)

Today, a very special
marquee match up

for your viewing pleasure.

In this corner,
Kirby "Bully Buster" Buckets!

(crowd booing)

And his opponent across the ring,

the unde-feeted champion
of the Tickle Pit,

Dead Foot!

(crowd cheering)

(clucks, groans)

(squawks)

Let the tickling commence!

(crowd cheering)

Nothing tickles like a dead foot.

Don't know why. Don't know why.

(crowd booing)

Impossible. Dead Foot always
gives me a tickle giggle.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,
I apologize for this.

Uh, I'll take care of it myself.

Come here, you. Open that for me.

Come here, boy. I wanna talk to you.

(crowd clapping)

(gasps)

(Colonel) A tickle-proof vest?

Wha-- I'm betrayed
by my own sandwiches.

(giggles)

Ugh.

It's working. They're
losing respect for him.

(laughing) Stop it. Stop it.

(laughing) Stay. Stay.
I command you to stay.

And I command you to stop.

I come in to school
for free office supplies

and this is what I find?

Byron, I can expla--

Don't bother. You're fired.

The Max Detention Program
is canceled.

Just because of my tickle giggle?

No.

Because you've been running
and underground Tickle Pit

in my high school
for the entertainment

of international businesspeople.

You're a monster.

Plus your tickle giggle.

(kids laughing)

Told you guys I had a plan.

Let's here it for Smart Move!

-Whoo!
-Yeah!

I'm gonna tear you
to pieces, Buckets.

(booing)

What? What's going on?

Sorry, Todd. Violence is out.

Yeah.

It's all about clever plans now.

Well, I got a
very clever plan, okay?

First, I tear Kirby apart!

(booing)

Oh, come on. Really?

Hey.

I'm feeling low, and those
boots look like a good time.

Give!

Just be cool.

(growls)

He needed them more than we did.

Completely agree.

(theme music plays)

I should've been a butt model.

Oops. (giggles)

(man) Okay, back to one.

It's time for a moonwalk.

(yells)