Original subtitles

(Kirby) I have a dream,

a dream of one day having my own animated show on television.

Every now and then, I get a little closer to that dream.

Kirby, are you listening?

Oh, sorry, Gil. What did you say?

I want you to do a commercial for the S and P.

I can only pay you in free smoothies,

but it'll be a good way for people to see your cartoons.

Man, I love these things.

I'd love to. Thank you!

(Kirby) But sometimes, when you think you're closer to your dream...

You monsters!

-It's just a commercial. -(Laughing)

What I can't see can't hurt me.

-(Snorting) -What I can't see can't hurt me.

(Kirby) ...you're actually walking into a nightmare.

(Theme music playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

(bell ringing)

This commercial is my first real job as an animator.

I need it to be awesome.

As the most fascinating person on Earth,

I can hang out pretty much anywhere--

fancy restaurants, fancy riverboats,

my dad's bathroom.

But I choose to hang out at the S and P.

Why?

Well, that's my little secret.

(Laughs)

That is a terrible idea for a commercial.

Since when are you an actor?

Since yesterday when I graduated

from Forest Hill's most prestigious three-day acting seminar.

"Forest Hills 'Act like you Mean it' seminar"?

Four days ago, I could barely act my age.

And now I can act any age.

Good for you, Fish.

-(chattering) -Just preparing myself for the commercial.

They say the TV camera adds 10 butt cheeks.

So when we run into Mandy and her friends,

make sure you highlight your poncho,

because last night they all posted pictures of themselves

wearing them with the caption, "we heart ponchos."

So if they heart ponchos, we heart ponchos.

Why are we still trying to be friends with Mandy, anyway?

She's always so mean to us.

Also I don't heart ponchos.

Well, you'd better start hearting ponchos.

Mandy is this close to seeing how cool we are.

It's only a matter of time before she invites us

into her inner circle.

Ooh, here she comes.

Hey, girls, nice ponchos.

Oh, I am-- I am wearing a poncho. How about that?

That's so funny. I really-- I wear it so often now,

I don't even notice it anymore.

We're kind of "poncho-holics."

Since we all like ponchos so much,

would you guys like a caramel apple?

We only made enough for the cool kids.

Don't tell anyone.

Why, thank you, Mandy.

Don't mind if I do.

What's wrong, dawn?

Oh, did we accidentally give you a caramel onion?

That's okay, I actually prefer onions. So I'm just gonna...

(Mandy) And by the way, we put those poncho pictures up as a test

to see who was desperate enough to copy us.

You failed. Enjoy.

You okay?

I'm fine.

Better than fine.

Because we are now at war with Mandy McDaniels.

(neighs)

Safe travels, Shane.

All right, boys, let's see what you've got.

So come on down to the S and P

where we wrestle prices into submission!

I'm a $3 hot dog!

How much do you cost?

Ah! Okay, $1!

-(laughs) -I kind of feel bad for the hot dog.

I felt nothing.

His performance lacked the touch of a classically-trained actor.

I think it's fantastic.

It's just a shame I can't use it

since I already know exactly what I want the commercial to be.

The idea came to me in a dream.

Can I help you?

The grim reaper?

And then I had a dream about clowns.

They were so fun and silly

I knew they had to be a part of the commercial.

I mean, everybody loves clowns. So what do you say?

Can you draw me a big, goofy cartoon clown?

(voice echoing)

Okay, you got this.

It's just a clown-- a friendly, goofy, silly clown.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Let's just start with a little red nose.

(growling)

No! Ah!

What? You don't like clowning around?

(laughing)

(screaming)

Ever since we got chased out of clown town,

you've been afraid of clowns.

And now you're afraid it'll cost you the commercial.

How did you know--

I'm a bit of a fear expert.

I've had to deal with a lot of it in my day.

Ah! Dust bunnies!

Ah! Flip-flops!

Ah! Eli!

And that was just this morning.

(Kirby) I don't know what to do! Everything's set for the commercial

except for the fact that I can't draw a clown.

We can help, on one condition-- you give me a part in the commercial.

Which, when you think about it, is really me doing you a favor.

Seriously? All right, fine.

Kirby!

Did I hear right?

Are you putting Mandy McDaniels in your commercial?

Yeah, she's the most popular girl in school.

-I thought it would help. -Perfect.

-Do me a favor and fire her. -Why would I do that?

-Because she's mean to me. -You're mean to me.

You and I are siblings. It's different.

We're supposed to look out for each other.

So what do you say, baby bro?

Yeah, sorry, Dawn. Can't help ya.

I can't believe you're choosing Mandy over me.

Traitor!

(growling)

My patented fear-reducing chamber.

I don't know, guys.

How is this supposed to help me--

Now!

(Kirby) What are you-- hey!

A clown! (screaming)

This is for your own good!

-Kirby! -Slow your breathing.

In, out!

Ahh!

Ahhh!

Ahh!

This might not be as easy as we thought.

So we give Mandy this fake balloon cake

to congratulate her on the commercial.

And then when she cuts into it, bam!

She's got a faceful of frosting.

And then we replace her shampoo with hair remover

so when she goes to wash the frosting out of her hair,

she'll be as bald as an eagle.

What? No. What's gotten into you?

Mandy's my first enemy.

I want to make sure I get it right.

Ooh, what if we take the frosting and switch it with her toothpaste

so all her teeth fall out?

Then she'll be bald and toothless...

Like a baby.

An enemy baby.

I am genuinely afraid of you right now.

Beautiful.

Okay, come on, I think my phone's done charging.

I want to take a photo to remember this.

Hey, uh, I want to eat this cake,

so if it belongs to someone,

tell me now.

Oooh! (laughs)

Nooooo!

(knife drops)

(snaps)

So, Kirb, I'm looking at my character for this commercial

and I'm just wondering, who is he?

Yeah, he likes shopping at the S and P, but why?

What's his back-story?

Unless I figure out how to draw a clown, there won't be a commercial.

Yeah, I see how that's motivation for you.

But what I need to know is what's motivating my character?

Fine, whatever.

Your name in Nigel penderfoot. You like shopping at S and P

'cause you're cheap, and they have low prices.

-Happy? -So he's a thrifty man,

but he's not afraid to treat himself.

You think he's British?

(British accent) 'Ello!

(normal voice) Or maybe Australian.

(British accent) 'Ello!

(normal voice) No, British will do.

I've got it! What you can't see can't hurt you.

That's a scientific fact.

If you want to beat your fear, just shut your eyes.

You mean you want me to draw a picture with my eyes closed?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, here it goes.

Whoa!

That actually worked.

Uh, I'm a goof! Duh!

Oh! (laughing)

(laughs)

Boys?

We're gonna make a commercial.

Whoa!

And action!

Here at the S and P, our prices are so silly low,

you'd think a clown was in charge.

(laughs) Did someone say "clown"?

(blows raspberry)

(British accent) I do say,

these prices seem quite sensible to me.

Let's make 'em silly low!

(laughs)

(bell dings)

My word.

Such rock-bottom prices.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm Mandy McDaniels,

and I believe you gave me too much change.

Uh, nope!

We pack in more savings than clowns in a clown car!

-(laughing) -(clowns scream)

So come down to the S and P

where we're always clowning around.

(laughs)

-Ooh! -(dog barking)

Whoo!

That was great, Kirby!

-Simply brilliant, mate. -Why are you still talking like that?

A serious actor never breaks character.

The commercial is over, fish.

(emphatically) Never breaks character.

I wasn't in it enough, obviously.

Well, I loved it. Thank you so much, Kirby.

Hey, why don't you go treat yourself to a free snack?

-(door bells jingle) -Hey, commercial's working already.

Ooh, clowns!

Are you guys here to check out our silly low prices?

Nope. We're looking for the hack who made that commercial

so we can turn him into confetti.

(laughs maniacally)

You think clowns are funny?

Some big silly joke for the plain faces to laugh at?

-Well, I've got news for you! -(whispers) Go! No! Go away.

We don't all like dancing around

in big floppy shoes and a happy red nose!

But you are wearing big floppy shoes

and a happy red nose.

Do I look happy to you?

When will you people learn to take clowns seriously?

Now I want whoever's responsible...

(farts)

...for that commercial

with that offensive clown stereotype.

His name is Kirby, and he was here a second ago.

What? I should have been in the commercial more.

I don't know where Kirby is, but I'm sure he's long gone by now.

Probably through the secret escape hatch

in the truck that I never told him about.

What? Why are you saying it like that?

Oh, you know, for emphasis.

(whispering) It seemed very suspicious,

but emphasis is important.

What's he emphasizing for? We heard him the first time.

Tell you what!

How about we help you remember

where to find this "Kirby"?

(grunts)

(horn beeps)

-(radio tuning) -(announcer) This next song comes in at #5

as "Cake Clown Circus Sounds of the '70s" continues.

(laughs)

(circus music playing)

This can all be over

if you just tell us where the artist is.

I'll never talk

unless you want to hear about our low prices.

(clicking tongue)

New plan. Hear me out.

I had this branding iron made--

-no. -(door opens)

Angry clowns took over the S and P.

They have everybody-- Fish, Eli, Gil, Mandy--

and it's all my fault.

-The clowns have Mandy? -Good!

I hope they feed her face to a pack of ferrets.

No, don't you see it?

If we rescued Mandy, she'd owe us big time.

And she can pay us back

by choosing the one thing she loves the most

so we can destroy it right in front of her eyes.

Or we could just rub it in her face for a long time.

Mmm.

Come on, Kirby, let's go clean up your mess.

Oh, no, I can't go back there. They're clowns. They're too scary.

Don't tell anyone I did this.

Okay, you're scared. I get it.

But running away? That's not the Kirby buckets I know.

The Kirby Buckets I know is brave and resourceful

and would go back there to save his friends.

But, Dawn... clowns.

You don't think Mandy scares me? Of course she does.

-Ha! -(iron sizzling)

(grunting)

(spits)

But I decided to face her because I knew if I didn't,

I'd always be scared.

And that's the thing about fear--

once you stand up to it, you take away its power.

You know what? You're right.

I don't want to live the rest of my life being scared.

Let's go take out some clowns.

Ha ha! Yes!

No! You leave that here.

What I can't see can't hurt me.

What's happening?

How should I know?

They took my phone.

Your friend didn't give us the information we need,

so now it's your turn.

Either tell us where the artist is,

or we'll tickle it out of you.

Tickle torture? Drats!

My one bloomin' weakness!

(laughing)

-(laughs) -Fish, wherever you are,

remember you're not ticklish!

I don't know who this fish chap is,

but I assure you, I, Nigel Penderfoot,

am indeed most ticklish! (laughs)

Nigel?

I think this one's kicked the laugh bucket.

Nigel!

(door bells jingle)

Howdy, clowns!

You didn't lock the door? You had one job!

Ooh! Ow!

(sighs)

(evil laugh)

Stand up to the fear, take away its power.

Ah-oooo-gah!

Who is this clown?

Do you know him?

Check this out.

(balloon pops)

-(pops) -Oh, haven't seen that done before.

(popping)

And guess what?

I'm not even a clown. I'm Kirby Buckets!

Who?

I made the commercial.

-(clowns gasp) -Get him!

(struggling)

Don't worry, Kirby! I'll save you!

What I can't see can't hurt me!

(grunting)

Take that, clown! Hyah!

Hyah! Have you had enough?

So this is your idea of a joke then?

No, it's my idea of a distraction.

Hey, losers.

(gasping) Don't look at me!

Don't look at me!

Bongo, Kyle, let's go!

(Bongo crying)

Go back to clown town and don't ever come back!

Wait, you didn't die of laughter?

I'm not even British.

(sighs) What an actor.

(whistling)

(snorts)

It worked!

I am a fear expert!

Ah! Flip-flops!

(both laughing)

So, Mandy, I guess we kind of saved you.

Got anything you want to say to us?

You call that a rescue?

(laughs) Big deal.

Am I supposed to be grateful?

You know what?

You're not worth it.

(snorts) Yeah?

And you're not worth anything.

Face it, Dawn, you'll always be a loser.

Hey, Mandy, nobody talks to my sister like that but me,

and you'd be lucky to hang out with her.

You know what you are, Mandy?

You're a--

you're a clown.

Ahhh!

-Oh, Mandy, did you get all wet? -(squeals)

Bet you if she would have worn a poncho--

(laughs)

(squealing)

You didn't have to do that, you know.

I know. But I wanted to.

Does this mean I get to be in your next commercial?

Yeah, I don't think there's going to be a next commercial.

What are you talking about?

I haven't had so many people in the store in months.

We gotta keep this train rolling.

I was looking at some of the drawings you gave me.

I think for the next one,

we should do this stupid dinosaur with braces.

What do you say?

Kirby, just when you and I started to be nice to each other,

you had to ruin it with that dumb drawing!

(growls)

(laughing)

All right, you ready? Come on, let's do this.

-(grunts) -(laughs)

Oh, snap crackerjack! You better get off there.

(fly buzzing)

(crew laughing)

(man) Olivia, I mean tip-- you got a big storm coming.

Stay smoothie, compadres.

(boy) "X"!