Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

(Kirby) The days that change your life forever

usually start out like any other day.

And then suddenly...

It goes right down the toilet.

Aww, man. No!

Yo, brother, let it go. There are worse things in life.

Hey, at least you don't have to live six inches from a toilet bowl.

Know what I'm saying?

Whoa! Whoa!

(Kirby) Whoa!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Run, fool, run!

Aah!

I swear, this is not what it looks like.

(theme song playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

(takes deep breath)

Dude, what did you eat?

He ate a huge burrito.

I told you guys, I didn't clog the toilet!

Well, I did. But with the burrito.

And my phone.

Oh, no. Dave the Ripper.

Once he starts ripping into you...

He never lets go.

Buckets! I want to thank you.

Thank me?

I haven't had anyone to make fun of in months.

Ever since Stink Fletcher got deodorant, ripping has been at an all-time low.

Exploding the toilet-- it's like you gave me a gift.

Wha--argh!

Look, Dave, it's not what you think.

(laughing)

Hey, Kirby. You were just gonna let me drown?

That's cold, man.

Whoa.

Look at that sewer monster.

It's a burrito!

You know what? You need a new name.

I hereby dub you...

The Turdinator!

(in robot voice) Sent from the future to destroy all toilets.

You'll be seeing a lot more of me.

My life is over.

You just need something to take your mind off this.

Like... The greatest magic trick of all time.

What is he doing?

Nothing. Stop it, Eli.

Presenting... Forest Hill's greatest magician,

-Fish the Magnificent! -I didn't agree to that name.

And I'm his magician's assistant.

I didn't agree to that either.

So, you're all into magic now?

Of course. It combines the three things women love most:

Fancy clothes, mystery, and rabbits.

It's a great list.

I'm coming up with a trick that's gonna blow minds.

-Oh, sweet, can I see it? -Absolutely!

Not. The trick's not ready yet, and you are not a lady.

(whistling)

There's a lot of people in there.

Maybe we should just skip lunch?

Come on.

I'm sure no one even noticed your whole bathroom ordeal.

(Dave) Hey, it's the Turdinator!

(laughing)

That could be about anybody.

Let's just get this over with.

You think your reputation is ruined?

People think I'm a turd.

I can't even look other burritos in the eye.

Don't talk to me. I can't be seen with you.

I'm trying to blend in.

Oh, no.

-We've been banished to... -Table 13.

Look guys, you don't have to sit there.

This is my problem.

No.

You clog a toilet, we all clog a toilet.

-Hey. -What's going on?

What's peer-to-peer counseling anyway?

Oh, it's this great program where students

can go talk about their problems with a student buddy.

Wait. You're saying these buddies get to hear people's secrets,

and all the hottest gossip in school?

Oh, boy.

Are you trustworthy?

Yes. A good listener?

Duh. Unselfish?

This is the perfect job for me.

I'd have access to all the hot gos.

Which I'd only use for good, of course.

Belinda, I'm gonna be a buddy.

Oh.

I'll sign up too.

So, I judo flipped hm, punched the other guy in the nose,

and got the girl's number.

No, you didn't. Since when have you been on a date?

(scoffs)

(Kirby) Aww, man.

Dave the Ripper and those guys are waiting up there to make fun of me.

I don't think I can take any more insults.

Is he holding a tiny toilet?

Huh. Who would have guessed letting him borrow my tiny joke toilet

would come back to bite us?

Touche, universe.

I have an idea. Come on. Follow me.

Let's cut through here.

Are you crazy?

That's the Bradlands.

Only people named Brad are allowed in there.

Oh, come on. That's just a myth.

Now, Dave the Ripper? He's real.

And, he's waiting for me, so let's go.

Or we could distract him with...

The art of illusion.

I'm not doing the trick, and that dance is not helping anyone.

Come on, let's go. Follow me.

Let's go.

(crows cawing)

Man, this place is creepy.

Whoa!

(screaming) It's the Brads!

Ugh, relax.

It's just... Buttons?

"Quesadilla time"?

Ha! This one says "pobody's nerfect."

That's delightful.

Who thinks of that?

Guys, it's Brad property.

I don't think a few would be missed.

That's what my Nana says when she takes forks from diners.

-You want one? -No, thanks.

They're weird, and I don't need anything else for Dave the Ripper to make fun of.

-Guys, can we please go? -(Kirby) All right.

-(Fish) Come on, Eli. -Fine.

(Fish) Hey, Kirbs, what's with the new clothes?

If I can keep myself disguised, then maybe no one will notice me.

(Eli) Kirby! Hey, Kirby, over here!

-(boy) It's the Turdinator. -(laughing)

I think your cover's blown.

Hey, guys. I'm getting lots of compliments on the buttons.

The kid who always calls me squarehead said,

"hey, squarehead, nice buttons."

Really?

"I'll have what I'm having"?

Fine. If you're going to insult them, I'll take it back.

(laughs) Where'd you get that? I want one.

Guys.

I think I figured out how to solve my toilet problem.

Yeah. Hold it in.

What? No!

Hmm. This seems like a dangerous mission.

Wish I could join you, but...

My spaceship will never fit through the tiny holes in this fence.

Ugh. Ugh.

Well, I tried.

Good luck to you.

Okay, let me try one.

One cheese puff. Now you see it...

Now you don't.

-It's in your mouth. -No, it isn't.

Ta-da!

Hey, that bag is from the Bradlands!

You went back there alone?

I had to. I'm not gonna be known as toilet clogger for the rest of my life.

That was you?

I've heard so many funny jokes about you, recently.

Sorry.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Those are Brad buttons.

You do not mess with Brads. They are very bad people.

Gil, how do we even know Brads exist?

Have you even seen one?

Seen one?

I was one.

You see, my name used to be Brad.

-(man) Brad. -(man) Nice to see you, Brad.

-(man) It's a Brad day. -(Gil) Brads are winners.

Smarter, handsomer, and smarter.

-(man) Love that color on you, Brad. -(Gil) It comes with being Brad.

(man) Nice racket, Brad.

I got tired of acting like I was better than everyone else.

So, I got out. Changed my name to Gil.

Instead of becoming an astronaut or president,

I run this mini-mart.

Kirby, I am begging you,

please, bring those buttons back while you still can.

Brads are people you do not want to cross.

He's right, Kirby.

(sighs)

-(Fish) Oh, really? -(Kirby) Hey, come on.

(Fish) That's disgusting.

(Dawn) So, you and Jake broke up?

I wonder who knows about this.

Random question: Has Jake ever mentioned me, by any chance?

(sobs)

I hate to break it to you,

but I don't think anyone's gonna care that your pet hamster died.

Do you have any other problems? Something, I don't know... Juicier?

(weeps)

For real? You found it in the bathroom trash?

Whose do you think it was?

That is the saddest thing I have ever heard.

(bawling)

This better work.

Hey! Just the guy I wanted to see.

3Hey, check it out.

I bought some new footwear in honor of you.

They're clogs! Get it?

-Because you clogged the toilet? -(laughing)

Super uncomfortable, but totally worth it.

Yeah, great.

Anyway, I heard you were looking for some buttons.

Heh.

Pobody's nerfect.

You know, that really says it all.

'Cause truth is I'm not perfect.

And I can't spell good, so, heh.

Works on two levels for me.

-Whoo! -Have more! They're all yours.

Wow.

You know, you need a new name.

I hereby dub you... "Button guy!"

(laughing)

(grunts)

Button guy.

I like it. (chuckles)

Yo, Kirby. Up here.

So, Kirbs. Tell us again what you said to that lady?

So, I said, "that's not a quesadilla,

that's a quesa-dont'cha."

(laughing)

That's a quesa-dont'cha. (laughs)

-Hi-ya! -(groans)

I'm telling you, this buddy system is a gold mine.

I heard so much hot gossip today.

I should start an anonymous blog.

I, uh, also heard an interesting piece of gossip.

Really? What? Tell me.

I heard that you...

Are getting kicked out of the buddy program.

What? I'm a great buddy.

Yeah, not so much.

Turns out you actually caused way more problems than you helped solve.

All my hot gos.

I know, I'm sorry.

Do you want to talk to a buddy about it?

Absolutely not.

Look, bro, I'd like to help you out,

but I'm running low on buttons as it is.

(sighs) Well, all right.

In that case, I guess I could scrounge up a few.

Hey, don't mention it.

Button guy, out.

'Sup, non-Brad?

You know, I gotta say, you're quite the artist.

I like this guy with the three butts. What do you call him?

Do not tell him my name!

I don't like the way he's looking at me.

Hello, my eyes are up here.

You see, we Brads, we're better than you non-Brads.

It's why we formed the Bradlands.

We can only associate with other Brads.

Now, we put up a sign to keep out non-Brads, but you...

You didn't listen.

(gulps)

I imagine you're wondering who I am.

Well, you said your name, like, 10 times. So, I'm guessing Brad?

I have a message for you from one of your friends.

Kirby, please help!

Again, with feeling.

Really? I thought that was a pretty good take.

Okay, okay, take two.

Now, we have Brad, or, "wild Gil," as he calls himself,

and if you ever want to see him again, you'll bring me my buttons.

But, I gave most of them away.

Then you'd better get them back.

What's Brad's is Brad's.

I want them by 4:00 tomorrow afternoon.

And no funny business.

I move like the wind, so you won't see me coming,

and you won't see me going.

Okay, just turn around for a second.

-Don't look at me. -(doorknob jiggling)

Come on, stupid doorknob.

Shouldn't have moisturized my hands this morning.

Is this thing made out of butter?

Now, turn back.

(sighs)

Gil's in trouble and it's all my fault.

I'd say I told you so, but technically, Gil told you so.

Wow. Thanks. Very helpful, Eli.

Now, we gotta get those buttons back.

Come on. Let's do this.

You know what would look great on you?

Not those buttons.

Come on.

Just one button?

Let a guy bust a move.

Dave, buddy.

I was wondering if I could get the buttons back?

(laughing)

Button guy, you are too much.

I hereby dub you as, "funny button guy."

Oh, man.

This is gonna be impossible.

Who cares what the buddy program says?

I'm great at helping people with their problems.

I'm a Saint.

Ooh, Dawn! We really need your help. Do you have any buttons?

Sorry, loser, but I don't care about what your stupid problem is.

Why don't you go find another toilet to clog?

That's right. I haven't forgotten.

No matter what you do, you'll always be a filthy, toilet clogger.

Sorry, what were we talking about?

Wait a minute.

That's it!

Come on, guys.

I've got a reputation to ruin.

My own.

See that, people? Dawn Buckets, problem solver.

Everybody listen up!

You might know me as "button guy."

But, a few days ago, you all knew me as "the Turdinator."

(laughing)

That's a funny name.

Yes, I'm the kid that went in the bathroom

and left something so big that it not only clogged the toilet, it exploded it.

It was me, Kirby Buckets.

Pants at my ankles, lying in toilet water,

having nowhere to go, all because I wanted a big breakfast.

But, there's one thing you should know.

All those buttons...

Were in the toilet too.

(groaning)

That's right. my disgusting toilet water.

Ahem.

We'll be taking all those contaminated buttons.

Ladies first.

(Fish) Ladies first, sir.

(laughs)

I'm gonna go get my clogs.

Any signs of Brads?

(mimics bird call)

What are you doing?

A Brad call.

Always works for birds.

-(distant howling) -And, oh no, wolves.

If you have to fight them,

use my favorite move, the brain scrambler!

-(boxing bell dings) -(grunting and yelling)

One, two, three.

(bell dings)

Look. There they are.

You got my buttons?

You got our Gil?

Thanks for coming, Kirby.

You get 10% off your next smoothie.

Here they are.

We'll be taking Gil, now.

Not so fast.

There's something you should know about Brads.

We can't be trusted.

No!

We gotta do something!

-Fish, you gotta do your magic trick -I'm not dressed for it.

And, once again, there are no ladies present.

Fish!

Oh, all right. Fine. Here it goes.

Abra, kalibra, biblioteca !

-Wha-- -Hey! Where'd he go?

I have no idea.

I told Fish he shouldn't mess with magic.

-Fish? Fish! -Fish!

Find that kid!

-Oof! -Sorry.

Hey, Brads, over here! (laughing)

-Go, go, go! -Come on!

-(Fish) Take that! -Brads, retreat!

Retreat, Brads!

(Fish laughing)

This isn't the last you've seen of us! A Brad never forgets!

(shouting)

(laughing)

I got to admit, that magic trick

was way cooler than I thought it was gonna be.

-So, how'd you do it? -Sorry, Kirb,

but a magician never reveals his secrets.

Besides, I don't think I'm ever gonna do that trick again.

Okay. Do another trick, then.

Okay.

Wait, what?

I give to you... A man who can bend time and space.

I didn't ask him to do any of this.

A man who can live in the corners of your mind.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Abra...

Kedabra!

Whoa, cool!

Aah! Witchcraft!

Wait, did it work? I missed it.

(laughing)

Stop.

It got in my ear.

I am begging you, you have got to return that button... Kirby--

(laughing)

(laughing)