Original subtitles

(Kirby) You know what's important to me? Friends.

You know what's important to us? Friday nights.

Friday night is our night.

We've managed to spend 51 straight Friday nights together.

All we need is one more to make it an entire year of Fridays.

(Dawn) Mom! Dad! (groans)

Kirby has done some bad things in his life, but this is unforgivable.

(chuckling)

He ruined my ume4evr poster!

How am I supposed to tell Chadwin and Mikey B. apart now?

Well, that's easy. I mean,

I gave Chadwin five eyes and Mikey B. Fangs.

-They look a lot cooler now. -(laughs)

-You're laughing? -No.

-No. -I am. You can see.

-A little bit. -But it's a nervous laugh.

-Like, "zombies! Ahh!" -Brains, brains.

Well, he needs to be punished. Take away his Friday night.

-Ooh, she's right, Kirb. -No, she's wrong, mom.

I mean, everyone knows how important my Friday nights are.

Sorry, Kirb, but I'm afraid you're ground...

No-oooooo!

(mimics explosion)

-...ded. -Comin' in hot.

-Pow! -Atcha.

-Don't get burned. -(mom chuckling)

(Kirby) This Friday just got a little complicated.

(theme music playing)

♪ aye ♪

♪ aye ♪

♪ aye ♪

♪ aye ♪

Well, I guess 51 weeks of Fridays is good too.

No, it's not. Nobody's like,

"oh, you hung out 51 straight Fridays in a row?

Wow, that's impressive."

52 makes a full year. If it's not a year, it's nothing.

And another thing! (sniffs)

you smell really good, in a familiar way.

-Are you wearing cologne? -What? No, I'm not wearing cologne.

(sniffs)

You do smell kind of like a spring meadow.

Okay, this conversation just took a very weird turn.

Look, Dawn and my mom are going to be out tonight,

so we can still salvage a year of Fridays.

Uh-huh.

You're grounded tonight, remember?

I'm gonna try to get my dad to go to sleep by 9:30.

So if you guys come at 9:31,

we'll have the whole night to ourselves.

Year of Fridays is a go.

(all laughing)

Well, enjoy your girls' night out.

It's not a girls' night. It's a "mom forgot to buy us ume4evr tickets

and now she's trying to make it up" night.

Well, trust me, this is going to be way better.

I got us a room at the hotel where the band is staying.

So if all goes according to plan,

we're going to be hanging with that cutie Chadwin.

Mom, please don't use Chadwin's name.

It sounds really weird when you say it.

I mean, yes! I want to meet the band,

but I also just love hotels.

I like to pretend I'm a traveling sales rep.

Ladies, let's ride.

Have fun being grounded and spending a Friday night with dad.

Oh, I'm planning on it.

(Dad) I'm sorry, Kirb.

I know you love your Fridays, but sometimes you have to learn a lesson.

The saddest boy in the world, take one.

It's okay, dad. You're right.

I deserve to be punished and I shouldn't have any fun tonight.

(crying) I won't even ask to play a video game.

Well, eh.

Maybe one round. (chuckles)

Right?

And the award for best actor in a manipulating role

goes to Kirby!

(all cheering)

Hyah!

(rock music playing)

(Dawn) Hi. Um, excuse me.

Thank you.

Fans stay outside.

Is that weapon really necessary?

Ume4evr is the most popular band in the world.

Some of these fans will do absolutely anything to meet the band.

And their high-pitched shrieks hurt my brain,

-so yes, it's necessary. -(cocks gun)

Ooh, hello, they're with me and we have a reservacion.

Oh.

Well then.

Love the cologne. Keep it.

-Your mom is awesome, Dawn. -Settle down, Belinda.

-(cocks gun) -(shrieks stop)

-Go again, go again. -Here we go.

-Ooh! -(racket striking sounds)

I bet you're gonna sleep like a baby tonight.

Aw, you're gonna have to do a little more than this.

-All right, here's a lob. -A lob.

Got it! Gah!

There you go. You can get that one... it's easy.

-It's still going! -There you go.

-You got that one. -I got it!

-Ooh! -(crashes)

Oh gosh.

(snorts)

Whatever happened to video games that just exhausted your thumbs?

-Hmm? -Here you go, dad.

Oh.

-This ought to calm you down. -Oh.

-Is it good? -Ooh, that's nice.

-Okay. -Yeah, yeah.

-(playing soft music) -(sighs)

(German accent) I don't think he's going to make it much longer.

Shall I administer the knock-out punch?

-Hey, dad? -Huh?

I think you should go to bed.

Yeah, it's probably my bedtime, huh?

-Yeah, it's pretty late. -All right.

All right, good night, Kirbo.

Night. Good night, dad.

Yeah.

-To the left, dad. -Hmm?

-Bed. -Yeah.

(softly) Did someone order Friday #52?

Any minute now ume4evr are going to walk through that door

and we're going to meet them!

Do you think Chadwin's eyes are as soulful in person?

-(both screaming) -(gun cocks)

(squeals)

All checked in.

I got our room key and I brought my beefcakes.

Mom, the possibility of meeting ume4evr is the biggest event of my life.

I love you, but please don't embarrass me with your weird meat cupcakes.

Don't worry about it. I'm going to go bring our stuff up the room.

Can you check the sheets and text me the thread count?

(giggling)

Okay, if I was a famous and hot boy band,

I wouldn't use the front door. I'd sneak through the back

to get away from all the crazies out there.

I am so lucky to be your friend.

You really are.

-(girls squealing) -The band! They're here!

-The door! -No!

(girls squealing)

Wow, auto-locking fire doors. This place is nice.

All right, guys, you all know the Friday-night rules.

All of us get to pick one thing. I choose...

"Call of carnage."

Ooh, sweet!

-All right, Fish, what do you... -(sniffs)

-...think you're doing? -"Hug yer duds" dryer sheets.

My mom used to buy it when I was little.

She'd take all the warm clothes out of the dryer

and then I'd hop in the laundry basket. It was the bomb!

Okay, Fish, I don't want to spend Friday night #52

-talking about dryer sheets. -Well, too bad.

'Cause I'm about to educate your olfactory system.

My what factory?

Your nose, my friend.

Guess what my activity is!

Oh no.

I want to do something that I've never done before.

-What is it? -I don't know.

-I've never done it before. -All right, guys.

We are going to go all out tonight, but very quietly.

(all chanting softly) Friday, Friday, Friday,

Friday, Friday!

(video game blaring)

(sirens, rock music blaring)

(silence)

(screaming) This is the most violent game ever!

I just smashed a cop car!

Should I play as a boy or a girl?!

My dad!

(grunts)

Eli!

(yawning) Kirby? I heard voices.

Oh, yeah, I... I couldn't sleep so I was just playing a video game.

Ah, you can't sleep 'cause you're all hopped up on virtual stimuli.

You know what I used to do when I was a kid?

(sighs) Go outside,

get some fresh air and get in touch with the real world.

-Sounds fun. -Yeah.

But, I mean, I'm grounded and it's really late,

so probably shouldn't go outside.

Eh, there's no rule that says...

-there's no rule... -No rules.

-There's no rule at all... -Yeah, no, no.

...that says just 'cause you're grounded, you can't go outside.

You know what?

I'm gonna do you a big favor.

You're welcome.

Now this is my idea of a good Friday night.

(laughs)

(sighs) Isn't this great?

There's something about camping. It's invigorating.

I feel like a lumberjack. (inhales)

(exhales) Powerful!

Oh, hey, I brought a deck of cards.

-I thought maybe we could play... -Oh, you know what?

I bet you can't shuffle that deck 100 times without some cards falling out.

Oh, you're on, mister. (chuckles)

Let's see it, shuffle master. While you're doing that,

-I'm gonna get something to drink. -All right.

You're totally going to lose.

You don't want to watch this? Oh.

(panting) Okay, new plan.

I'm going to give my dad just enough time to keep him happy,

but it's not going to stop us.

Fish, you're up.

We're doing laundry, baby!

(rock music playing)

(watch ticking)

(grunting)

67...

Ooh, now you've got to start over.

It's gonna take a while.

While you do that, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

(boys laughing)

(girls squealing)

-I can't believe we missed them! -(phone rings)

Mom, bad time to call! We're trying to see the band.

The last thing I need is my mom embarrassing me now.

We have to get back inside.

Hey, it's okay. You let us in earlier.

Room key?

Look, Mitch... Can I call you Mitch?

What's it going to take to get us into the hotel?

Your room key.

Oh, he's good.

(girls squeal louder)

(gun cocks)

It's a dead end!

(Mitch) You can run but you can't hide.

Quick, get in the trash chute!

(whispers) This is a great idea, Dawn.

-What the... -(both screaming)

(both) Oh!

-(Dawn) Ow. -(Belinda) Really?

Okay, minor setback.

(boys laughing)

Two down, one to go, and our year of Fridays will be complete.

What's it gonna be, Eli?

I've always wanted to go on a whale-watching cruise.

That's great. How about something we can do now?

-(clock cuckooing) -Kirby? Kirby?

Kirby?

All right, think about it. I'll be right back.

Oh, hey!

Hey.

Who you talkin' to, Kirby?

Uh, the house. You know, it gets lonely.

So do I.

Time to get serious about camping.

No more going inside. Come on!

-(flies buzzing) -Of course, it's locked.

(trash thuds)

Hey, this is a half-eaten beefcake.

It's your mom! We can yell for help!

-Hel... -No!

I'd rather get out of this on our own.

-(spits) -Give me a boost.

Help me.

(grunting) Oh!

-Maybe we should call my mom. -Yeah.

(beeping) What?

Did you forget her number? It's 555-17...

No. There's no signal down here.

Wait, you know my mom's number by heart?

We chit-chat.

Hmm.

(birds chirping)

(yawns)

(grunts)

Now that was a great Friday night.

Hmm. Mmm.

(pad beeps)

What the...

Kirby, did you sneak in the house during the night?

No, you set the alarm.

Well, someone was in here.

And the weird thing is... (sniffs) they did our laundry.

Well, if someone did break in,

I'm sure they'd be gone by morning!

What?

Oh, uh, just thinking out loud.

Ah.

What...

Guys, you got to get up and get out of here

-before my dad sees you! -(doorbell rings)

Come on!

Sergeant Pounder.

Thanks for coming so fast.

Don't worry, Mr. Buckets.

If there's a burglar in here, me and my partner will find him.

(baby coos)

-It's take-your-son-to-work day. -Okay.

Why don't we just come clean? What's the worst that can happen?

That's Sergeant Pounder!

You know what happened to the last kid he busted?

-What? -I don't know!

That's the point. Nobody knows.

Guys, we've gotta get you out of here.

If my dad finds out that you've been here all night,

we'll never spend another Friday night together again.

But wait a second, our year of Fridays isn't complete.

I never got to do what I wanted to do.

(Both) That's because you never decided!

It has to be something I haven't done before!

You know how hard that is?

I've lived a very full life.

Okay, we don't have time for you to decide.

You guys have to leave, like, now!

Kirby, I know we're crunched for time, but may I please use your bathroom?

I've been holding it all night and I'm in a lot of pain.

Dude, go. You don't have to ask.

-I told you. -But it's not your house.

Look, I'm gonna go distract them so you guys can sneak away.

All right? Let's go!

Oh!

When I find this dirtbag, he's gonna wish he was wearing diapers.

(baby coos)

Chh chh chh chh chh.

Hey, Sergeant Pounder.

Hi. I would like to report a crime. (chuckles)

The crime of...

Yoo hoo!

...how cute your baby is!

Do you have any pictures?

8Yeah, I do.

Come on, Eli, we've got to go.

No, Fish, I gotta go.

Maybe I'll try the wee-wee song.

♪ When I go down the slide, I go "wee wee wee" ♪

Whoa! Here it comes.

(key turning in lock)

Wake up. Wake up, we're safe!

We're safe! Not trash, not trash!

-We're not trash! -(both grunting)

Thank you for saving our lives! You're an amazing person!

-Here he is in a baby cop outfit. -(cartoons snoring)

Here's another one of him drooling.

Each drool is different though.

Kind of like a snowflake.

Hey, can I see that third drooling one again?

-(door creaking) -Criminals!

-Whoa. -Kirby, what are you doing?

I'm gonna try to catch them.

Unlike my future cop here, they're going to wish they were never born.

Whoa, you're going after the burglars with the baby?

He's sleeping. He'll be fine.

-You can come along too. -All right.

But you wake him, I break you.

-Eli, why do you ride that thing? -Because I can't ride a normal bike.

I have balance issues!

-(brakes squeal) -All right, follow me, guys.

I'll get you out of here.

There she is.

Dawn, are you okay?

I tried calling you all night.

I'm fine, mom. Can we just talk about it when we get home?

I need to get rid of this dumpster smell.

-(girls screaming) -Oh my gosh.

It's them.

-(Belinda screaming) -Hi, Chadwin!

Hey, boy! Hey!

Mom, please don't embarrass me! Please!

Mom, I think he just waved at me!

(all shouting)

Chadwin!

You, me, forever!

(screaming)

(slow-motion) Bring it on, fan.

(Mitch) Ahhhh!

(crying)

He was waving at me, sweetie. I tried calling you all night

because ume4evr had the hotel room next to ours.

That Chadwin is a real sweetie.

I had him sign this for you.

-Belinda, what did he say? -"Dawn,

your mom rules. Xo, Chadwin."

-Thanks, mom. -And for the record,

they loved my beefcakes.

Wait, if my mom didn't throw a beefcake on us, then...

(Both) Ume4evr threw trash on us!

-(both squealing) -(gun cocks)

They're having fun.

There they are. Oh, they're getting away.

The only thing they're getting is me angry.

(tires squeal)

We've got company.

Follow me! I know a shortcut!

(Sergeant Pounder) How many criminals are there? I need to keep my eyes on the road.

Adrenaline going.

My heart's like, "rrrr, bbppp bppp bppp."

There he is! Follow me!

-Kirby! -Fish?

You know what? Maybe we should call this whole chase thing off.

Come on, Eli!

Nothing was stolen, and whoever it was did my laundry.

(tires squeal)

Don't ride in my car and tell me not to be a cop.

-(engine revving) -Oh, this is going to be bad.

As a doctor, I would like to offer a second opinion.

I've got you now.

Yes, this is going to be bad.

(All) Ahhh!

Is my little lieutenant still sleeping?

'Cause things are about to get crazy.

(revs)

(tires squeal)

-Maybe we should hit the siren. -(siren wailing)

-No, don't do that! You'll wake the... -(crying)

(both) Ahhh!

(Pounder) I can't think!

-What the... -My ears are bleeding!

Is this a baby?! What is this?

-(All) Ooh! -(characters shouting)

(siren dies)

Come on, let's get out of here.

How's my baby?

-(coos) -Uh, he did good.

That's my boy.

Hey, guys, I just realized being chased by a policeman

is something I've never done before.

(All) We did it!

Friday! Friday!

Friday! Friday!

(all panting)

-Hey, dad. -Kirby.

I'm guessing we need to thank you.

You disobeyed your grounding, you ran from the police,

and you did an odd amount of laundry without folding it or putting it away.

And if your mom finds out I was in a police car chasing you...

Well, let's just say that's a conversation

I don't want to have.

-So... -So you, young man,

are grounded for a long, long time.

Sorry, guys.

At least we made it a year.

-That's got to be some kind of record. -Yeah.

Oh, I'm not saying you guys can't come over. I'm just saying...

I want to be included.

What do you say, guys? Next Friday?

Friday!

(All) Friday! Friday!

Friday! Friday! Friday!

-(all laughing) -We gonna par-tay!

(chuckles)

(strings twang)

While you fix that, I could bring you back another instrument.

-Good idea. -Sweet.

Look what I found.

Oh, that's good. That's good.

-Here you go, dad. -Here we go.

This is pretty good. Yeah, it'll do. Yeah.