Original subtitles

(rock music playing)

That's me... Kirby.

And those are my friends Eli and Fish.

That's a gang of angry clowns.

-And that's their angry pig. - (squeals)

I'd like to say this sort of thing doesn't usually happen to us,

-but it totally does. -(camera clicks)

you might be wondering how we got here.

Well, it all started a few days ago with two of my favorite things:

my friends and my sketchbook.

My name is Kirby Buckets

and I'm an animator.

(theme music playing)

♪ Aye ♪

♪ Aye ♪

♪ Aye ♪

♪ Aye ♪

(Kirby) It all started when my friends and I were watching

our favorite TV show: Big Bald Oaf.

I wanna eat this big bowl of chili

but I also wanna ride this mechanical bull.

-Here goes. -(bull roars)

-(laughing) -(screaming)

Why do I like my chili so hot?!

Hey Oafers! I'm famous TV animator

and all-around great guy Mac McCallister.

-No one make another sound. -What if I...

Not even one sound. Eli, don't even breathe.

-(inhales) -This Friday, I'm returning to my hometown

of forest hills to hold a very special character-design contest.

Grand prize winner gets their character on my show, Big Bald Oaf .

So get designing. And remember:

(Oaf's voice) Why do I like my chili so hot?!

-Oh... -My...

(whimpering)

-You can breathe now. -...Gosh.

Guys, this is it. This is my chance to meet my hero

-and get my work on TV. -(pop music playing)

(Kirby) All right, let's pick us a winner.

I got Scrunch Face and Tri-Butt.

I have a special toilet.

Come on, Kirby, erase him, please!

Ooh, what about Dr. Gutpunch? He reminds me of when I was little.

Every time the doctor said, "this won't hurt a bit,"

it really hurt!

(Woman on P.A.) Paging Dr. Gutpunch.

I think I need to perform a buttectomy.

-(groans) -Say "ahhh."

-Ahhh. -Aha!

What is this? A wrestling taco?

Oh, that's macho taco.

I drew that after Eli ate that mystery taco out of the vending machine.

Oh yeah.

My stomach wrestled with that taco for two days.

-(Fish) What about this? -Ooh, that's Octo-stache.

His mustache holds all of his power.

-(bell rings) -Octo-stache!

Oh yeah! I want that mustache!

-(shouts) Take this! -Hands off my tomatoes.

-(Girl) Where is he? -(Octo-stache) See ya!

-Hey, Dawn. -Care to explain this drawing?

Well, I just exaggerated your facial features

and your monster-like tendencies to...

Shut it! I found it on my locker this morning.

According to the peace treaty mom and dad made us sign,

you're no longer allowed to draw me as...

-Dawnzilla! -We do not use that name in this house!

That is who I used to be. Since then I've blossomed into a charming,

-pleasant young woman. -I find you refreshing.

Drop dead, Eli. You have no idea how hard I've worked to change my image.

I did 300 hours' worth of research on this haircut.

I had to bribe my orthodontist to take my braces off early.

And I am not going to let you drag me back down.

So help me, if I find one more picture of this... thing,

I will beat you with a sock full of frozen oranges.

(rock music playing)

I'm sick of Kirby always getting away with everything.

Yeah, today he's just drawing awful pictures of beautiful people,

but tomorrow he could be robbing gas stations.

Come on, mom and dad.

This is a teachable moment here.

-(laughs) -Kirby, stop it.

-(pen scratching) -I see what you're doing.

(shrieks) I'm not a monster.

Mom, dad! (roaring)

Kirby, what have we told you about drawing unflattering images of your sister

-with your imagination? -Come on! It's my head.

I should be able to do whatever I want in there.

-No. -No.

You need to show your sister some respect.

And no more drawing her as the monster she was...

-...n't. -(horror music playing)

(shudders)

if Dawn finds one more drawing you've made of her,

we're going to take away your drawing materials for a month.

-Mm-hmm. -What do you think about that?

(groans) Wouldn't like it.

No, you wouldn't. Ugh. Yeah.

-Dizz-ang. -Told you what was what.

-And what wasn't what. -Yeah.

(school bell rings)

Dude, "big bald oaf" would be the perfect place for one of my drawings.

You told me I was the perfect place for one of your drawings.

-(laughing) -(snoring)

Shhh.

You know, the joke's on you guys.

Because I still haven't washed it off.

-I think it's cool. -(bell rings)

Hey, Eli. Isn't your mom supposed to be here?

No. She's on a singles cruise in the Bahamas.

(Both) What?!

Dude, I thought you said she could take us to the contest.

She can.

Oh, you mean today.

Yeah, she can't.

(groans) Dude, what are we gonna do?

I mean the contest starts in...

One hour and we're like five miles away.

Feast your eyes on heartbreaker...

And fartbreaker. (laughs)

Dude, the Babcock twins are here. They're going and they have a car.

No, no, no way.

They're not even twins. One is like two years older than the other.

-(mimicking farts) -(mimicking kisses)

(laughing)

What?! Farts are funny.

That's a scientific fact.

They might be our only option.

(mimicking farts and kisses)

Trev, Trav, so I heard you're in the...

Big Bald Oaf competition.

Uh, duh!

Nobody knows that show better than the Babcock twins!

-"Hot chili, man!" -"Man, I hate chili."

Yeah, you guys seem like real die-hard oafers.

Anyway, I was thinking we should get together and carpool, you know?

For the environment.

Okay, Buckets,

you want to go green?

It's your lucky day.

(laughs) Yes!

(wails)

Nice try, Buckets.

We hate the environment.

-(mimicking farts) -(mimicking kisses)

To the contest!

I can't believe this is happening!

Let's get out of here.

Wait, where are you going?

(Kirby) Come on, Eli.

Are you sure we should be breaking into your brother's room like this?

We have no choice. We have to put a stop to those drawings.

Well, maybe I should just wait outside.

This feels like a brother-sister kind of thing.

Belinda, we're best friends.

My reputation is your reputation.

And vice versa.

Is this about my knitting club again?

One person does not make a club!

All we have to do is find one nasty drawing of me

and Kirby will have his precious drawing tools taken away for a month.

-(laughs) -What? What'd you find? Is it hideous?

No, he's pretty talented.

These are funny.

(cartoon voice) "Hey, look at me!

I have a serious, but comical, medical issue!"

Focus!

We're only looking for drawings of me. Thank you.

(Kirby) Man, where are we?

Guys, I don't want to alarm anybody,

but we should be really alarmed.

We're in clown town!

You got any idea what he's talking about?

Not usually.

This is the worst clown ghetto in forest hills.

A few years ago, Bobby Freeman and his parents came down here

looking for a cheap clown for his 10th birthday party.

No one's seen them since!

(laughs)

Dude, that is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

Shh! The clowns might hear you!

-There's no such thing as clown town! -(echoing)

-Shh! -See? Nothing.

(laughs) Clown town? Dude, that is hilarious.

Selfie.

-(camera clicks) -"In clown town with my best buds."

Dude, come on. The contest starts soon. Let's go.

(evil laughter)

-Whoa, what was that? -I don't know.

-Not sure. -Well, well, well, lookie here. Fellas.

-(squealing) -You boys are a long way from home.

You looking to hire a clown?

No. The answer's no.

Too bad.

'Cause we don't like plain-faces around these parts.

(squeals)

Say, that's a nice-looking book you've got there, kid.

Whatcha got in there?

I've got...

-I gotta run. -Get 'em!

(squeals)

-(cartoon music playing) -Huh, character design contest?

You don't think he'd enter Dawnzi...

I...

It... In this, do you?

That's exactly what that loser would do!

-Let's ride. -It might be cold out.

-I'll get the mittens I knitted for you. -Don't you dare.

(panting)

-I think we lost them. -(Clown) This way!

I can smell the fancy lad's perfume a mile away.

Guys!

-Let's go. -Oh, no.

I am 100% not getting in that thing!

Oh, gross.

(sniffs)

(brakes squeal)

Oh yes, that's it, guys. We're getting out of here.

Oi, there they are.

-My hat! -Come on, Fish, run!

(pounding)

(Clown) No!

This is why we need regular shoes.

Did you get those out of the dumpster?

Nachos are nachos.

Don't overthink it.

Okay, gotta pick one.

Which one of you is gonna win the contest for me?

(thumps)

-(liquid sloshes) -Whoa.

No one almost spills on macho taco!

-I will fold... -(Kirby) You in half like a tortilla.

I will shred you like cheddar cheese.

What'd you say to me?

-Was I speaking out loud? -Yeah.

(stomach gurgling) Oh, no.

I don't feel so good.

I think we need to get off the bus.

Dude, no way. We're still four stops away from the event center.

No, Kirby, I think I'm gonna be...

(gurgling continues) Uh-oh. It's happening.

No-oooo!

(coughs)

Sorry.

(gurgles) Oh, no.

Here it comes again!

(Both) No-ooo!

Uh-oh. Every time I smell puke, it always makes me wanna...

-Ugh! -No, you are not getting puke on me.

-(retches) -Peace!

That's it! Everybody out.

Fish's photo was tagged here a half hour ago,

so they must not be at the contest yet.

Perfect. If that drawing gets out, we'll be back to where we were two years ago.

Do you remember two years ago?

We used to eat with the lunch lady.

Oh yeah, Helen! She says hi, by the way.

Stop hanging out with Helen!

Well, well, well. Lookie here.

Save it, bozo. I'm not scared of some sad clown in too much makeup.

I'm just looking for my brother. Yay tall, looks like a rat.

I'm not telling you anything.

You have no idea how hard I've worked...

It's taken years to properly rehabilitate our image!

None of you clowns could possibly understand.

No one joined my sewing club. You know how hard it is?

-(Dawn yelling) -It is humiliating...

(yelling continues)

Okay, okay! I'll tell you anything. Just stop talking!

They took the number four bus.

-Thank you. -(Belinda squeaks)

Kirby thinks I'm a monster... I'll show him a monster.

(farts)

ow! Ow, ow, ow!

-(sighs) Let me try something. -(banging)

Ow, ow! Ow, ow! Okay, stop!

-Ow, stop it! -(laughs)

I hate to tell you this, but I think it's stuck.

Guys, we don't have time for this. The contest starts in like...

10 minutes! 10 whole minutes.

No reason to freak out.

-(horn blaring, alarm ringing) -Kirby, you have 10 seconds

to figure out how to get there.

(Tri-Butt) Yoo-hoo!

There's room for three butts!

-(bell rings) -Guys, I just had an idea.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

I'm not missing my chance to meet Mac McCallister.

All right, let's go, let's go.

-(engine revs) -Hey!

-Classic trash-nacho vomit chain. -(driver moaning)

Eli's been here.

(speaking Ukrainian)

(speaking Ukrainian)

She says they took off on a riding lawn mower a half hour ago.

-Nice work. -Whose Ukrainian lessons are geeky now?

-Still yours. -Okay.

(both speak Ukrainian)

Guys, we have a problem.

Nobody steals my second-fastest lawn mower and gets away with it.

(screaming)

Move out of the way! Playing through!

Whoa!

We need to go faster. He's gaining on us.

This is as fast as it goes.

(cackles)

I kinda wish I had a helmet now.

-This guy's crazy! -Drive under that tree branch.

-(Kirby) Why? -(Fish) Just do it!

You'll go faster without us!

-(cracking) -Uh-oh.

-(screams) -(groaning)

(engine idles, stops)

-(Eli) Kirby! -Fish, Eli!

-My sketchbook! -(lawn mower revving)

(both) Kirby!

-(Eli) Kirby! -Help us!

Ready? One, two, three!

(groaning)

You didn't really think I was gonna run you over, did you?

(laughs, screams)

My mustache... It was all I had.

Oh, Kirby, I'm so sorry.

That was like the prettiest and saddest snowstorm ever.

My one chance to meet my hero...

And I blew it.

Let's just go home.

What are you talking about?

The contest hasn't started yet. There's still time.

-Guys, I didn't bring any more drawings. -It doesn't matter.

You're the best artist we know.

It was stupid of me to even think that I could win the contest.

Kirby, wait! You can't just give up!

Yeah, man, we can totally do this.

You've always had our backs, now we've got yours.

That's it!

Kirby, you do have another drawing!

Behold! The most hideous creature known to man.

Dawnzilla.

"Big bald oaf" contest,

here we come!

-I'd like to enter the contest. -Where's your drawing?

Right here.

I'm sorry, you can't use your friend's back as an entry.

But this is my last drawing

and we came all this way on a lawn mower.

(Man) Oh, I don't know. I think we can make an exception.

(fanfare) Mac McCallister!

Mr. McCallister, this is an honor to meet you, sir.

Me and my friends have been big fans of Big Bald Oaf since, like, forever!

(All) "Ahh, why do I like my chili so hot?!"

(chuckles) Chili... It's classic.

What's with the helmet? You hit your head a lot?

-It's stuck. -Oh.

I own a motorcycle.

So tell me about your drawing.

So what is it? Some kind of...

Mythical she-beast?

It's...

-My sister. -(laughs)

It's personal, which is great. I'll tell you a little secret,

Big Bald Oaf is actually based on my dad.

-(chuckles) -(Dawn) Kirby!

You will not let that drawing get out to the general public.

I swear... Fish, here's your hat.

Thanks.

If Eli doesn't cover that up right now, I'll tear his skin off,

put it back on inside-out. I will... (roaring)

Kirby, are you listening to me?

I'm not even kidding. I will... (roaring)

Stop picturing me as a monster!

You know what? I totally see it.

You really captured her and she definitely belongs on TV.

No! You cannot put that abomination on television!

It'll ruin my image forever.

What are you talking about?

Being on TV is the absolute coolest thing there is.

-It doesn't matter what you look like. -Wait.

-Really? -Yeah!

You think anybody cared about me before I was on TV?

Before "big bald oaf" I was just a weird artist guy,

who looked like his mom dressed him.

-No offense. -None taken.

It's true. Mandy McDaniels got on the news after a hot-air balloon

crashed in her swimming pool and she got super popular.

Maybe you're right. I could be the new Mandy McDaniels.

I know.

Well, what are you waiting for? Get in there and make me a star!

After you.

I know we said it before, Kirb, but your mom and I are

real proud of you for winning that contest.

Everything except the stealing-the-lawn-mower part.

Yeah. How's that community service going?

Pretty good. I learned my lesson and I only got a week left.

Dawn, you're sure you're okay with this?

Mom, I'm gonna be on TV!

When the kids at school see this, they're gonna be forced to look up to me

like the natural-born celebrity that I am.

-Oh, oh, here I come! -(cartoon music playing)

Oh, I wonder who that could be.

(roaring) My name's Dawnzilla!

Look at me! I'm on TV

-(forced laughter) -You'd better button up.

-It's chili out there! -(sizzles)

-(boys laughing) -"It's chili out there!"

That was funny, right? So what are people saying?

Are we getting flooded with likes and party invitations?

(shrieks, gasps) Mandy McDaniels says,

"Dawnzilla is hilarious!

#Let's-all-make-fun- of-Dawn-tomorrow."

Oh.

Uh, you might want to steer clear of the cafeteria tomorrow.

It's chili day.

I'll get you, Kirby! (roaring)

I thought you promised your mom you wouldn't draw that anymore.

I didn't say anything about mowing.

Mowing... classic!

(theme music playing)

♪ aye ♪

♪ Aye ♪

Eli, me and you need a secret handshake.

Hold your thumbs up.

♪ Aye... ♪

What...

♪ Aye ♪

We're lumberjacks.

-Bye. -No.

-Yeah. -Snap!

One dad, one rule.

And one mom... And then all the rules.

-A bunch of rules. -A bunch of rules, but spelled with a "Z."

Mister.