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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:07,600 (kids chattering) 2 00:00:07,666 --> 00:00:10,226 Rita: I don't know about this, Brooke. 3 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:11,370 Mm? 4 00:00:13,466 --> 00:00:15,326 (gags) Are you serious? 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,630 -I can't do this! -You said you can't drink coffee. 6 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:19,770 -This is healthy. -(pours drink) 7 00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,633 How was your, uh, slumber party with Adam? 8 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,570 I wouldn't call it that. 9 00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:27,073 Oh. Why, he didn't stay over? 10 00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,503 What does that matter? I mean, 11 00:00:28,566 --> 00:00:31,196 we didn't get arrested, if that's what you're getting at. 12 00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:33,526 All right, I'm just asking. But you said 13 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,000 you had it under control, 14 00:00:35,066 --> 00:00:36,726 so I guess I'll back off. 15 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,430 I had a whole week of patients after Adam, 16 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,530 and the sky didn't fall. 17 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,170 Uh-huh. 18 00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:45,173 (clears throat) Well I'm glad it's 19 00:00:45,233 --> 00:00:47,303 not getting in the way of your work. 20 00:00:47,366 --> 00:00:49,226 And if it did, I would 21 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,770 check with my supervisor. 22 00:00:52,033 --> 00:00:55,573 And so what does Paul have to say about all that? 23 00:00:55,633 --> 00:00:58,633 We haven't discussed Adam or anything else. 24 00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:01,230 You didn't tell him anything? 25 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,270 I thought you and Paul were thick as thieves, 26 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:07,633 -talking every week... -We haven't been able to connect. 27 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,030 You see him on the news. He's like America's therapist 28 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,730 through all this craziness. 29 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,103 Are you avoiding him? 30 00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:20,773 Let me get you some water. 31 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:28,433 (light piano playing) 32 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,570 ♪ 33 00:01:45,766 --> 00:01:47,726 I'm not trying to get on your case 34 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,230 -every time I come here. -Mm. 35 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:53,670 I'm glad you and Adam had a good time. 36 00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:56,273 -You don't mean that. (laughs) -(scoffs) 37 00:01:56,333 --> 00:02:00,303 Sure I do! Everybody deserves a good time. 38 00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:03,496 Just gotta be ready for the hangover. 39 00:02:03,566 --> 00:02:07,166 It wasn't always hangovers. 40 00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,433 You know, you only know sad Brooke. 41 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,300 You don't know good-time Brooke. 42 00:02:11,366 --> 00:02:13,766 -Oh, I don't know good-time Brooke? -Mm-mmm! 43 00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:15,673 Why don't you introduce me? 44 00:02:15,733 --> 00:02:17,633 (scoffs) 45 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,130 Okay. 46 00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,166 You ever have one 47 00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:24,773 perfect night back in the day? 48 00:02:25,033 --> 00:02:27,203 Where you felt like young, hot shit 49 00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:29,626 and your give-a-fucks just melted away? 50 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:32,170 It was nice to lose my give-a-fucks. 51 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:35,273 (laughs) Yeah. Adam was part of mine. 52 00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:38,373 Shit, I owe him mine. 53 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,530 -How? -Oh, it was 54 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,030 last day of finals, first year of Wharton. Or... 55 00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:46,400 only year of Wharton. 56 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:49,496 And I had this accounting exam. It was miserable. 57 00:02:49,566 --> 00:02:52,696 -Accounting sounds miserable. -Oh, the whole year was miserable. 58 00:02:52,766 --> 00:02:55,066 I mean, I had spent that entire time doing everything 59 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,233 that my dad wanted me to do. I felt like a puppet, 60 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,070 and he was just pulling the strings from across the country. 61 00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:02,403 I just kept getting more and more empty, 62 00:03:02,466 --> 00:03:05,596 and then I started filling up that emptiness with alcohol. 63 00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:08,526 A few drinks with friends turns into a half bottle of vodka, 64 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,470 -alone in my apartment. -(snap) 65 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,203 (sighs) Anyway, 66 00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:16,326 on that lousy day, of the accounting exam, 67 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,400 my phone went off. It's a text from Adam. 68 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,196 And I don't even... 69 00:03:22,433 --> 00:03:24,433 Yeah. We'd just met, 70 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,470 and I don't even remember giving him my number, 71 00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:30,173 or even who he was for that matter. 72 00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:33,133 -Hard for me to imagine you before Adam. -Oh. 73 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,700 You're not the only one. 74 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,000 So what did the text message say? 75 00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:39,326 Oh. 76 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,770 All it said was "Silk City." 77 00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:45,133 -What's Silk City? -It's this sometimes restaurant, 78 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,470 sometimes lounge, sometimes club. 79 00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:50,226 So... 80 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,300 I walk in, 81 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,666 and there's Adam, looking... 82 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,730 like he still looks. 83 00:03:59,266 --> 00:04:00,526 And so, I'm at the bar, 84 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,700 and he just grabs me by the elbow, and he's like, 85 00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:05,326 "You gotta come with me!" And I'm thinking it's an emergency, 86 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,100 and then he goes, "We... 87 00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:12,326 We have been challenged to a dance contest." 88 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,170 -That was the emergency? -Yes! (laughs) 89 00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:16,773 And, oh! And-and I got on that dance floor, 90 00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,273 -and I made it happen! -(snapping) 91 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:21,503 -Okay, it was like out of body... -(laughs) 92 00:04:21,566 --> 00:04:24,166 but I'd never felt more in my body, 93 00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,533 and I forgot everything that was weighing me down. 94 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,070 -I just, oh-- -What if... 95 00:04:29,133 --> 00:04:30,273 that was the booze? 96 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,100 What if Adam had nothing to do with it? 97 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,570 I don't know. 98 00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:38,103 Maybe it was both. 99 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:41,096 Exactly. What if you can't separate the two? 100 00:04:41,166 --> 00:04:43,266 I can. 101 00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,033 That's my point. 102 00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,096 You sure? 103 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:50,226 Is that why you keep Adam around? 104 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,200 To relive one fun night? 105 00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:57,033 I'm getting older. 106 00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,570 I look at him, he looks at me, I feel 23 again. 107 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,273 Is that such a goddamn crime? 108 00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:05,373 No, but it can be dangerous. 109 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:08,103 You can only do one thing at a time, 110 00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,726 and if your one thing 111 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,100 is thinking about the past, 112 00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:14,696 your future is on a shelf, rotting. 113 00:05:14,766 --> 00:05:17,066 I don't have a future figured out. 114 00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,333 Exactly. Why don't you think about that? 115 00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,503 So you don't waste away? 116 00:05:22,566 --> 00:05:24,396 (scoffs) That's easy for you to say. 117 00:05:24,466 --> 00:05:26,666 Your future is secure. 118 00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,073 Kids, grandkids, all of that. 119 00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:30,773 You can have a future without that. 120 00:05:31,033 --> 00:05:34,273 I just don't need you to remind me how old I am. 121 00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:37,026 Are you afraid? 122 00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:40,573 Afraid of what? Death? 123 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:43,173 Any-any one of us could drop dead any time, 124 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:46,203 -anywhere, so-- -I asked are you afraid. 125 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,603 Well, I wasn't until... 126 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,366 my father... 127 00:05:57,266 --> 00:06:00,496 I mean, it's just like... 128 00:06:00,566 --> 00:06:04,096 Now, there's no generation above me to look up to. 129 00:06:05,066 --> 00:06:07,366 To be mad at. To resent. 130 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,570 To love. They're all gone now. 131 00:06:13,633 --> 00:06:15,573 You know, I can't help but feel like... 132 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,770 (sighs) 133 00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:21,203 I'm next. 134 00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:23,426 And what do I have to show for it? 135 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,773 (laughs) This is a cheery talk for a Sunday Funday, Rita. 136 00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:38,573 Thank you. Thank you for triggering my regret. 137 00:06:38,633 --> 00:06:41,773 Oh, you don't need my help for that. 138 00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:44,733 What, so I have chances that I wasted, huh? 139 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,730 To have people? To have a family of my own? 140 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,070 -Chances I passed up? -I didn't say that. 141 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,470 I was driven. 142 00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:58,166 I focused on my doctorate, my practice. 143 00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:02,473 And what did I give up in the meantime, you know? 144 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,573 I bet you world-renowned 145 00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:13,373 Dr. Paul Weston never 146 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,433 asked himself these questions. 147 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,300 Men never do. 148 00:07:18,366 --> 00:07:21,666 -Damn straight. -But do you hear yourself? 149 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:25,103 You sound like all your chances are gone. 150 00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,566 What-where-where do you see 151 00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:30,473 this slew of chances? Under here? 152 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,233 -Under here? -Brooke... 153 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,200 No, seriously! 154 00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:35,726 Where do I start? 155 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,470 Fuck, I don't know! 156 00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:40,203 Join a dating app like the rest of us. 157 00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:41,566 How's that worked out for you? 158 00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,433 I still haven't met any boyfriends. 159 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,700 Don't mean I never had none. 160 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:49,096 I'm just saying don't shack up with Adam the enabler 161 00:07:49,166 --> 00:07:52,526 because you had a fun night 20 years ago. 162 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,270 -He's not an enabler. -He looks the other way. 163 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,773 No, he looks in my direction. 164 00:07:58,033 --> 00:07:59,373 You've seen him. 165 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,403 You'd be happy if he looked in yours, too. 166 00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,626 Oh, he fine. 167 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,670 But, you live in LA. 168 00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:07,433 Scrubs a dime a dozen. 169 00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,130 He's not a scrub. 170 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,630 -No offense. -No offense? 171 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,400 What, because he's the good kind of scrub? 172 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,600 Sometimes, I think... 173 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,703 what if I decide just to go for it? 174 00:08:22,766 --> 00:08:24,466 You know, have a baby with Adam. 175 00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:29,466 D... 176 00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,033 Do you wanna have a baby? 177 00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:33,526 No. I... 178 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,400 Hell, I don't know. 179 00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:39,073 Do you think that having a baby 180 00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:40,633 will make you get your shit together? 181 00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,270 -Yeah, I guess so. -It don't. 182 00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:45,733 But maybe it would, for me. 183 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,470 I guess you'll never know. 184 00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,426 What's that supposed to mean? 185 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,770 -Do you wanna have a baby? -You know, 186 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:58,133 even if I could have a baby the old-fashioned way, 187 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,430 right now, it would be a baby. 188 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,370 I don't want a baby! Or at least I... 189 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:04,733 (sighs) 190 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,700 pretty sure I don't. 191 00:09:07,766 --> 00:09:11,166 -Why is this a question that I have to answer? -'Cause maybe you're thinking 192 00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:14,633 about replacing the son you didn't get to raise. 193 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,070 I don't wanna replace him. I think I... 194 00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,403 I think I wanna find him. 195 00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,196 Your son? 196 00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:31,466 Since when? 197 00:09:32,766 --> 00:09:35,526 I don't know. I... 198 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,100 Can't even believe I just said that out loud. That is bizarre. 199 00:09:40,266 --> 00:09:43,666 It's natural to want to find your people. 200 00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,003 And when I think about it, 201 00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:49,096 I have a lot of questions. 202 00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:50,526 Uh-huh. Like what? 203 00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,003 Like... 204 00:09:54,066 --> 00:09:56,266 if I find him, 205 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,773 what if he doesn't like me? 206 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,203 (chuckles) 207 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,766 Then you'll be like any other mother. 208 00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:05,103 No, because he's not my kid, really. 209 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,526 I didn't raise him. 210 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,500 For us to have a relationship, he would have to like me. 211 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,566 You're spinning. 212 00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,066 What if he's dead? 213 00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:17,673 -Why would he be dead? -Because he's a young Black man living in the world. 214 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,500 Yeah, I wish I could say that ain't possible. 215 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,300 Or... 216 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:31,666 what if he's been out there, 217 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:35,173 needing me the whole time that I've been needing him? 218 00:10:38,633 --> 00:10:40,733 Yeah, but you're mourning the past, 219 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,270 while your present is passing you by. 220 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,433 What if he asks me why? 221 00:10:48,466 --> 00:10:50,266 "Why did you give me up?" 222 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,103 What am I supposed to tell him? 223 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,670 Why not the truth? 224 00:10:54,733 --> 00:10:57,273 That his grandfather convinced me to give him up 225 00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,403 so that we could stay in polite society? 226 00:11:00,466 --> 00:11:04,996 -Is that the whole truth? -What does that mean? 227 00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:08,326 It's kind of convenient to blame a dead man for all of this. 228 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,700 (scoffs) 229 00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,603 Went to pick up his ashes the other day. 230 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:23,396 You know, they take you into this room, sign a form. 231 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,470 When I walked in, for, like, a split second, 232 00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:30,303 I looked around to see if he'd be sitting in a chair, 233 00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:32,496 smoking a cigar or something. 234 00:11:36,733 --> 00:11:38,373 Then I saw the box. 235 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,500 Made it so... 236 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,500 Final. 237 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,500 I know my dad 238 00:12:03,566 --> 00:12:05,126 isn't to blame for all of this. 239 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,370 I know I made a mistake, too, but the difference is 240 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:10,433 I was a kid. 241 00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,433 Like, how come nobody... 242 00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:18,996 Nobody had compassion for me. 243 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,330 Nobody cared about me. 244 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,500 All anybody cared about were... 245 00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,233 I don't know. 246 00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:31,430 Appearances. 247 00:12:33,066 --> 00:12:35,166 I wouldn't wish it on anybody. 248 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,570 But none of that can be undone now. 249 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,300 So you can imagine how I feel. 250 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,703 Mm-hmm. 251 00:12:48,666 --> 00:12:50,426 That also means 252 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,400 there's nobody left 253 00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:54,096 to disappoint. 254 00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:56,533 Except yourself. 255 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:05,200 (birds chirping) 256 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:24,066 (wind chimes ringing outside) 257 00:13:29,366 --> 00:13:30,766 (closet opening) 258 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:34,133 (quiet rummaging) 259 00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,533 (sighs) 260 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,700 What's that? 261 00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:56,573 They stuffed this box full of my dad's files from his desk. 262 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:59,003 I haven't even had a chance to look at it. 263 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:15,073 Go ahead. 264 00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,503 I'm right here. 265 00:14:19,666 --> 00:14:21,496 (sighs) 266 00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:30,296 -It's organized. -(laughs) 267 00:14:30,366 --> 00:14:33,596 That's the only way my father knew how to live. 268 00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,266 By imposing order. 269 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:38,533 No chaos allowed in the Taylor household. 270 00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:42,526 You okay? 271 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,700 I... don't know. 272 00:14:49,466 --> 00:14:51,026 I'm right here. 273 00:14:51,566 --> 00:14:53,196 Let's do this. 274 00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:57,703 Hm. 275 00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,066 (inhales, exhales) 276 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:08,633 Blech. 277 00:15:10,066 --> 00:15:13,526 -Who's Angela? -My father's longtime secretary, 278 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,070 -if you know what I mean. -Ugh... 279 00:15:16,133 --> 00:15:17,573 Why would he keep a file on her? 280 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:20,703 I don't know. I don't wanna know. Remind me to shred that. 281 00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,573 Rita: What's that? 282 00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:32,473 Brooke: Rita, this is the relinquishment contract. 283 00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:40,066 -Holy shit. -I don't even remember signing this. 284 00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:46,173 (papers crinkling) 285 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,030 Why would my father keep this? 286 00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,570 Maybe he cared more than you think. 287 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:05,573 (scoffs) He had a fucked up way of showing it. 288 00:16:05,633 --> 00:16:09,173 It was his grandchild, after all. 289 00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:11,073 It could've been too painful for him to talk-- 290 00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:14,073 I don't care! He should've tried. 291 00:16:14,133 --> 00:16:17,133 He wouldn't be the first person to sweep things under the rug. 292 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,070 What about my pain? 293 00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,003 This is pain! 294 00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:24,096 This is contractions. 295 00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,266 This is 13 hours in labor. 296 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:30,173 This is not getting to hold him. 297 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:33,273 This is having a 16th birthday party 298 00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:36,673 right after and acting like nothing happened. 299 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:38,673 (scoffs) Oh, but yes, let's just keep talking about 300 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:41,033 how painful this was for him. 301 00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:47,673 (scoffs) Yeah. 302 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,300 Hell with going down memory lane. I'm finding my son. 303 00:16:53,366 --> 00:16:56,296 -Brooke, before you do this-- -Oh, I am doing this. 304 00:16:56,366 --> 00:16:58,666 -Uh-- -I am not waiting. 305 00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:01,333 I tell my patients all the time to take responsibility 306 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,030 for their lives. It's my turn. 307 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,570 I'm all for that, you know I am. But... 308 00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:10,373 -take a breath, make sure your head is clear-- -My head is clear. 309 00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:12,433 So then, why rush into it? 310 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,630 Over the years, you've had every chance to look for your son. 311 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:20,130 I was ashamed! 312 00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:26,266 But I can't let that stop me. 313 00:17:27,766 --> 00:17:31,466 But that's not about your son. That's about you. 314 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,500 Why do you really wanna do this? 315 00:17:34,566 --> 00:17:37,266 -Are you supporting me or not? -Of course, I am, 316 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:40,473 but don't you think you should be able to answer that question 317 00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:42,373 -before you-- -I guess... 318 00:17:44,633 --> 00:17:46,673 I don't know. I wanna... 319 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,033 apologize to him. 320 00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:53,773 -That's still about you. -Oh, come on, Rita! 321 00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:56,733 Haven't you ever made a mistake that you just want to make right? 322 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,500 -Yeah. -Then let me have this! 323 00:17:59,566 --> 00:18:00,996 All I'm saying is 324 00:18:01,066 --> 00:18:03,326 whatever you decide, 325 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,200 it probably shouldn't be decided at this second. 326 00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:11,596 So... 327 00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:13,666 let's say the prayer. 328 00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:17,603 It'll remind you to put your oxygen mask on first. 329 00:18:24,366 --> 00:18:26,466 (inhales, exhales) 330 00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,633 God... 331 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,170 Both: Grant me the serenity 332 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,533 to accept the things I cannot change, 333 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,730 the courage to change the things I can, 334 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,570 and the wisdom to know the difference. 335 00:18:45,766 --> 00:18:48,596 And how can I know the difference? 336 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:53,630 'Cause I've been saying that prayer for years, 337 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,330 and I still don't have the courage 338 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,570 or the wisdom. 339 00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:01,003 Still waiting on the serenity, too. 340 00:19:02,366 --> 00:19:05,566 This happens on God's timeline, not ours. 341 00:19:05,633 --> 00:19:07,473 ♪ ♪ 342 00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:10,273 I want to apologize to my son. 343 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,700 Even if that's about me. 344 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,270 (sighs) 345 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,533 You know I used to talk to him when I was pregnant? 346 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,400 Used to tell him that... 347 00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:35,573 even though I knew he could hear everyone talking about him 348 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:39,603 like he was an inconvenience, a problem. 349 00:19:39,666 --> 00:19:41,766 Before he was even a person. 350 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:46,766 I didn't think of him like that. 351 00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:53,296 I knew we were on borrowed time. 352 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,596 I knew we'd have to say hello and goodbye on the same day. 353 00:19:58,300 --> 00:19:59,770 So... 354 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,500 I would just wanna ask him if... 355 00:20:04,566 --> 00:20:07,626 ♪ ♪ 356 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,630 if he would forgive me. 357 00:20:20,666 --> 00:20:22,766 What if he says no? 358 00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:28,666 I have to try. 359 00:20:31,066 --> 00:20:34,096 ♪ ♪ 360 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,203 ♪ ♪ 361 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:33,200 ♪ ♪ 25316

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