Original subtitles

♪ Caldwell and Nathan are two cartoonists ♪

♪ They love to draw, but they're not too smart ♪

♪ So they sold their souls to the TV devil ♪

♪ For a cartoon show that features their art ♪

♪ They all shook hands and drank a toast ♪

♪ Neither could believe their newfound wealth ♪

♪ But then on the way to the studio ♪

♪ They were both laid out by a hotdog truck ♪

♪ Now in a somewhat ironic twist ♪

♪ They're in hell forever, and, hey, get this ♪

♪ They gotta make a show that think is gonna sell ♪

♪ If they ever wanna get out of Cartoon Hell ♪

(rumbling)

- Hoo, Nathan, it's a late one.

- Yeah, it feels late.

I know it's impossible to tell

what time it is down here,

but it does feel late.

- Like, I can't see a moon,

but every time I turn my head around,

I feel like there's a moon there.

- Yeah, that sort of phantom moon syndrome

you get down here, yeah.

- Yeah, (snickers) PMS (chuckling) it's called.

(laughing)

- That's what that stands for down here.

- Ah, every month.

(chuckling)

Every lunar month.

- God dammit.

(Caldwell chuckles) - Yup.

- All right, okay, okay.

Enough chit chat, you twos.

Listen, I need you guys to really deliver this week.

My old roommate is visiting and I need him to,

you know, like any of your old friends

when they come to visit you,

you gotta make 'em seem like your life is working.

Like, if you could just make it seem

like I have definitely not just been repeating

the same destructive patterns for the past year,

that would be fantastic. (Nathan chuckles)

- Can do.

Who's your roommate? We'd love to meet them.

- He's kind of a big man on campus around these parts,

one of the special elites. - Ooh.

- You know what, I'm just gonna summon him

using his ancient jingle.

(clears throat)

♪ He's your best friend ♪

♪ And he's mine ♪

♪ Givin' out smiles all the time ♪

♪ It's Adam the friendly demon ♪

- (gasps) Adam!

- Hello!

- Whoa!

- Hi!

- Oh my gosh!

- Nice to meet everybody.

- So we have jingled, so it has become.

- Oh, man, it's such a bummer I never get to hear the jingle

'cause I'm only summoned after it's sung,

'cause you sing so well, Managar.

- Aww.

- Yeah, Managar has a beautiful voice.

- Ironically, it is the voice of an angel.

(Nathan laughs)

- Well, Adam, do you wanna chill with us

while we draw today?

We're hard at work fulfilling Managar's dreams.

He's on the up and up, he's a very busy demon.

- You know what, that sounds like a hoot and a half,

and I'll do it.

- All right! - Awesome.

- Managar, do you have an idea for us?

- Shawn F. says, "Dogs but bad."

- Ooh. (Caldwell laughs)

- Ooh.

- Dogs but bad.

- I like the way Sean F. thinks.

- Yeah, 'cause dogs, dogs are pretty good.

- Universally, I'd say. - Yeah.

- There's no dogs in hell.

I mean, we know for a fact they all go to heaven.

- Yeah. (Caldwell chuckles)

So I think what I'm gonna do to make a bad dog

is I'm just gonna sorta rough in a regular dog to start.

- [Caldwell] Okay, yeah.

- [Nathan] And then we're just gonna try

and see how we can mess it up.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, Nathan, do you wanna do

kind of like the Super Mario 64 intro

where we've just got a nice dog face,

and then we can kind of stretch it, manipulate it?

- [Nathan] I think that's the way to go.

- [Caldwell] Okay.

- [Nathan] Just real quick, we're gonna get

a good little pooch in here.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, a little standard doggo.

- [Managar] Got them floppy, friendly ears.

Proof of mankind's domination of the species.

- Mm-hmm. - He's a cutie pie.

- [Nathan] How we feelin' about this, Adam?

Do you approve? - I like it.

I think the eyes are so beady

and it makes him look a little dumb.

I would like to make him look a little more intelligent.

- [Caldwell] Okay, so more intelligence in the eyes,

and I think that is,

'cause a lot of what people like about dogs

is they're sort of too dumb

to be judgey. - Mm-hmm.

- [Adam] No, no, dogs have emotional intelligence.

- [Caldwell] Oh, that's true, they're empathetic.

- [Adam] Yeah, there you go.

- [Caldwell] Oh, okay.

- [Adam] He can see deep into your heart.

No, (chuckles) that eyebrow's too scary!

- [Caldwell] Oh, no!

- Okay, so we don't, you don't want this dog

to be scary bad.

- No, no, intelligent.

- Okay, okay. - Yeah, there we go.

- So here was my thinking-- - Okay.

- [Nathan] Of just a way to make dogs a little worse.

- [Caldwell] Little worse, sure.

- [Nathan] They got these nice sort of dog mouths.

- [Caldwell] They got them muzzles.

- [Nathan] What if,

what if they just had people teeth?

(Caldwell and Adam laughing)

- [Caldwell] Nathan, his is like if Frasier was a cartoon

and their dog could talk.

(Adam chuckles)

- That would be great, I would watch that show.

(laughs)

- Another fine mess we're in, Frasier!

So Nathan, I love this beautiful mouth.

What about the nose, though?

- [Nathan] Yeah, Adam, do you have any preference

for a nose that really you think would be

unpleasant on a dog?

- Oh-- - My first thought is beak.

- [Adam] Unpleasant things, yeah,

I like Caldwell's suggestion, a beak.

- [Nathan] A beak, so a beak and teeth.

That's a great combo.

(Caldwell laughs) - Yeah.

- [Caldwell] Normally, it's one or the other. (chuckles)

- [Nathan] So here we go.

- [Adam] This really successfully makes the dog

sharp in a lot of ways

that you don't want a dog to be sharp.

- [Caldwell] (chuckles) This is my beakle.

- [Managar] This is a dog of prey you're building right now.

(chuckling) - Yeah.

- [Caldwell] We are making the dog bad,

but we're also fucking optimizing this dog. (chuckles)

- [Nathan] Yeah, so I guess it should have talons, right?

- [Caldwell] Absolutely.

This dog is kind of like badass now.

It's transferred over into mythical territory.

- [Nathan] Okay, so that's got bad in the name,

so that's kinda good.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- [Adam] It's interesting, because things with beaks,

as a rule, don't have teeth.

- [Nathan] Yeah, that's what I was saying.

So I think it's too much now.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, is there one more form of tooth

we can get in there somehow?

- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! - Yeah, yeah?

- It could have baleen like a blue whale.

(Caldwell laughs)

- Nathan, give that dog a baleen!

- [Nathan] I don't, okay.

- [Adam] Do you know what it looks like?

- [Nathan] It's just sort of like they open

their mouth real big.

- [Adam] It's like they have super tall,

very thin teeth, like combs,

like they have two very long combs

coming from their top and bottom jaw

that they use to filter out brine shrimp.

- [Caldwell] Oh, yup, you're on the right path.

- [Adam] This dog is a filter feeder.

- [Nathan] But he does still have the teeth.

- [Adam] No, no, no teeth, he has baleen.

- [Nathan] Okay, so that's instead

of the teeth. - Yeah.

- [Caldwell] I would say he's still got the top teeth,

but the bottom row is fully baleen now.

- [Nathan] I don't know if that's how that works,

but it's like this, right?

It's just sort of like a large--

- [Adam] Yes, yes, baleen, that's baleen!

(Nathan chuckles)

- [Caldwell] Oh, that's a mean baleen.

I just wanted to get as many forms of mastication

on this pup as possible,

and we're at three now, and I think that's really sweet.

- He swims through the ocean and he picks up brine shrimp.

(Caldwell laughs)

- Okay, boy, go get some shrimp! (chuckles)

- [Nathan] I think these floppy ears, though,

are still making this dog too lovable.

- [Caldwell] Well, wouldn't those just be fins now?

- [Nathan] Yeah, so I think they're just fins.

- [Caldwell] He's perfect.

He does look like Dobby and a hippogriff

got into Jeff Goldblum transporter machine,

and I hate it.

- [Adam] I just keep losing myself in the mouth

trying to see which part is,

which of the three jaws is the real jaw.

- [Caldwell] I also think that if threatened,

it could divide its jaw into three parts

like the vampires in Blade 2.

- [Nathan] This dog needs a name.

- [Caldwell] This dog does need a name.

- How do you guys feel about Nash?

- Oh, I like Nash. - Ooh.

That's badass.

- [Nathan] Yeah.

He's splashin' up out of the water.

- [Caldwell] Here he comes!

This is Flipper for a new generation.

Is it capable of flight, Nathan,

or is that beak just totally out of nowhere?

- [Nathan] I think they look like they're flyin' underwater.

- [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely.

- [Nathan] I've taken enough time.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, I wanna mess up a dog, too, please.

- Can you mess up a dog, please?

- I wanna ruin a canine.

I think I wanna take a more extreme approach right up top.

- [Nathan] You're not gonna start with that base pooch.

- [Caldwell] No, the only thing I am gonna borrow

is those extremely dead-looking human eyes.

- [Nathan] It's a good standard

for making things unsettling.

- [Caldwell] I would say.

- [Adam] Could you make them look like my mother's eyes?

- [Caldwell] Oh, yes, absolutely.

What color were your mother's eyes?

- [Adam] (chuckles) Red.

- [Caldwell] Now your mother was a demon, so--

- [Adam] But very loving.

- [Nathan] And how many eyes did your mother have?

- [Adam] Uh, (chuckles) two and a half.

- Oh! - Two and a half!

- [Adam] I say half because one was lidless,

and you could only see it if you closed your eyes,

at which point it would stare right into your mind.

- [Nathan] One of those dream eyes.

- There you go. - Absolutely.

All right yeah, and-- - That's mommy.

- [Caldwell] I imagine it's constantly aflame.

- [Adam] That's my mommy!

- [Caldwell] (chuckles) Here she is!

- Oh, mommy! - She's coming.

- I miss you so!

(Nathan chuckles)

- [Nathan] That's so sweet, a demon that loves their mom

is just, it's refreshing, honestly.

I'm getting some Neverending Story vibes.

- [Caldwell] Yeah!

Kind of a Falkor vibe, if you will.

Should I give it maybe kind of a scruffy chin,

like a luck dragon would have?

- Yeah. - Ohh.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, there we go.

- [Nathan] Okay, I mean, this is pretty good.

- [Adam] Mm-hmm.

- [Nathan] I'm not seeing anything bad about this dog.

This seems like a mystical, a powerful dog.

- [Managar] This isn't as much of a bad dog

as it is a passable Undertale OC at the moment.

(Adam and Nathan laughing)

- [Caldwell] You know what, Nathan, I'll just take it

a step further-- - Uh-huh.

- [Caldwell] In the direction you were headed,

and I'm just gonna go ahead and give it some human ears,

how 'bout that? - Okay, good.

- [Managar] No, those are the worst kinda ears!

- [Caldwell] They're really miserable.

Now it did take a turn into Rafiki country.

- [Adam] (chuckles) Yeah, looks like a little monkey.

(Nathan chuckles)

- [Caldwell] All right, I think I'm gonna just go ahead

and continue on this dark path.

Let's just go ahead and give it a human body, huh?

- Uh-- - Huh?

Huh? - Just like a person's body?

- Yeah, but crouched like a dog.

- [Nathan] Ugh.

- [Adam] They should be nude.

- They are. - Okay, great.

- [Nathan] So this is a person playing dress up as a dog?

- [Caldwell] Nn, I don't even think that.

- [Nathan] Oh, okay.

- [Caldwell] I think that this is dog but spelled

like D-O-H-G-G.

- [Nathan] Uh-huh.

- [Managar] You've accidentally created something

that I think I've seen in a medieval illuminated manuscript.

- Yeah. - Yes.

- [Nathan] This looks, like, very medieval, Caldwell.

- [Caldwell] That's what we've done here is this is

what people thought dogs looked like

before they discovered them.

(Managar chuckles)

- [Nathan] So we've got Nash, Nash and Dohgg.

- [Caldwell] Mm-hmm. (chuckles)

- [Nathan] We've definitely ruined dogs visually.

- [Caldwell] Pretty good, I would say.

- [Nathan] But I think that even--

- [Caldwell] So you think that Dohgg is like a real jerk.

- [Nathan] Or maybe just like real,

real two-faced. - Mm-hmm.

- [Adam] Two-faced like maybe he's wearing

a baseball cap on his butt,

and then he has like a smile drawn on his butt

so it looks like a face.

- [Caldwell] I think absolutely,

and we talked about baboons briefly before,

so I do think I wanna make it kind of like

a big, bright red butt.

- [Adam] (chuckling) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- [Nathan] It's got a nice twist going.

- [Caldwell] Mm-hmm. (chuckles)

- [Managar] Caldwell, nobody in the business

does groin angles as good as you.

You truly are the best in the business.

- [Caldwell] I trained on a mountaintop for years

to perfect this art.

- If I were him, I would stick a hotdog in my butt

to be the nose.

- Yup, that's what he does!

(Nathan laughs)

- [Nathan] That's a good bit.

That's a fun, good bit.

- [Adam] (chuckling) Yeah, exactly.

There you go!

- [Caldwell] It should probably be higher up, huh?

- [Adam] And it's really good 'cause it's diversionary

when a predator comes. - Yeah.

- [Adam] They get confused, they think that's the head,

and they instead bite Dohgg in the butt.

- [Caldwell] It really just looks like a little

halfway-out poopy.

- [Adam] No, but he knows it's a hotdog.

Oh, this is so good! (laughs)

- [Nathan] You know what?

I like Dohgg better now. - Uh-huh.

- [Nathan] It's like, oh, Dohgg's a jokester.

(chuckles) Dohgg knows a good, fun butt bit.

(Adam sighs and chuckles)

- Why are you guys in hell again?

This is divine.

(Nathan and Caldwell chuckling)

- Just get like a little wiggle goin' there.

- [Adam] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

He waves it around!

- [Caldwell] Oh, absolutely.

- [Adam] So he can make the nose waggle.

- [Caldwell] Now I do think that we've stepped

away from dog territory-- - Uh-huh.

- [Caldwell] And right into, I would say,

kind of just mythological beings.

- [Nathan] Yeah.

- [Caldwell] Guys, you know what probably happened

is that Zeus, or Thoth, or one of the elder deities

just had sex with a dog

and then this was the result.

- This looks like something from the original

D&D Monster Manual

before the Christians got mad at them

and made them take out all the good stuff.

This is what Gary Gygax originally had in mind.

- [Caldwell] This is a False Dog.

(Managar and Adam laughing)

From version two.

- [Nathan] The big reveal in the show is when it turns out

that the butt face is it's actual face.

- Oh, yeah. - Ho-ho!

- [Nathan] And the face that you drew first

is just drawn on it's butt.

- [Adam] It's doubly false!

- [Managar] No, but here's the thing,

the hotdog face can only tell the truth,

but the monkey face can only tell lies.

- [Caldwell] And it can't speak,

so it's really hard to understand. (chuckles)

- [Adam] Yeah.

- [Caldwell] You know what, we have not done

an RPG manual as our cartoon yet, so--

- [Nathan] That'll be good.

- [Caldwell] I think what this is, Nathan,

is this is Dogs and Dungeons,

and this is like maybe we're doing

the commercial for the release of our new tabletop RPG.

- [Nathan] You know, we've tried everything else,

why not push the envelope?

Why not break form a little bit?

- [Caldwell] Exactly.

So should we design one more False Dog?

- [Nathan] Yeah, I think an even falser dog,

an even wronger dog.

- This one paralyzes you with its gaze.

(Caldwell and Nathan laughing)

- [Caldwell] I'm gonna just put some skulls

by its feet. (chuckles)

- If you pull out the hotdog,

the whole thing just falls apart.

(laughing)

It's just the whole body collapses

in a pile of limbs.

- [Nathan] Well, yeah, the clue's right in the name,

it's dog, you have to find the true dog on the False Dog.

- [Adam] Oh, yeah!

- [Caldwell] You've solved my dog puzzle.

(Nathan chuckles)

- [Adam] Do you guys think the hotdog

goes all the way through the body

and comes out the other end as the tongue?

- Ohh! - Holy shit.

- I didn't before,

but I absolutely do now!

(Adam laughs) - Yes!

Mm-hmm!

(Nathan laughing) - No! (chuckles)

No, it's horrible.

- [Caldwell] It's beautiful.

- [Managar] I'm just gonna go ahead and demand

that you cease giving this wretched creature form.

- [Caldwell] Uh-huh?

- [Managar] Can we just go ahead and do that?

- [Nathan] Hold on, Caldwell's drawing

some sort of treasure chest, okay.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, and guess what,

it is just Ball Park Franks.

- [Nathan] Caldwell, can you pull up the Nash I drew

and make it very small,

just sort of floating in the background?

- Here it comes.

- Your party encounters--

(Caldwell laughs)

- A dog pile.

- (laughing) A dog pile.

- [Caldwell] I don't know why it floats,

but it sure as hell does.

There's like a lake back here.

- Yeah, it's just jumping. - Mm-hmm.

- [Nathan] You've caught it mid-splash.

(Caldwell chuckles)

I think mine does talk. - Yeah.

- [Nathan] At least I imagined that Nash talks,

and he just says, like, "Beware!"

- [Caldwell] He talks but he keeps having

to jump out of the water,

so he can only say a couple words at a time.

- [Nathan] Yeah, it's like, you have come to the--

(mimics splashing)

You must solve the riddle of the (blubs)--

- [Caldwell] The hotdog goes all the way

through his (mimics splashing)!

If this is Dungeons and Dogs,

then maybe there's like a dog defender,

or some sort of dog dragon or dog boss

that rules over them all. - Okay.

A boss dog.

- Yes, a boss dog.

Let's go ahead and draw the final boss dog

for this weird dungeon. (chuckles)

- Yes, okay, so we're starting off with,

oh, it's like a cyclops dog.

- [Caldwell] Yeah.

I was thinking about classic Dungeons and Dragons,

and I think we need to with like a dog Beholder,

some sort of dog orb or dorb.

- A dorb!

It's adorbable! - Adorbable!

Jinx!

By the laws of hell, we are jinxed.

- Oh, my gosh.

What are the laws of jinx in hell?

- You owe me a Coke,

and also I can slowly eat your genitals,

but guess what, I'm gonna choose not to today.

- [Nathan] Aww, that's the nicest thing

any demon's ever said to me.

- [Adam] You better watch out, Managar wouldn't be so nice.

- [Nathan] No, no, Managar is a fearsome,

imposing, accomplished demon.

- I'll eat all your genitals!

- [Caldwell] I am adding secondary heads on here.

- [Adam] Oh, yeah!

- [Caldwell] Just for funzies.

I've realized I've just kind of drawn Bowser

from Super Mario as a dog orb--

- Uh-huh. - And I'm okay with that.

- I like this. - Mm-hmm.

- [Nathan] I think it's definitely less

viscerally disturbing than the False Dog.

- [Caldwell] Yes.

- [Nathan] But it probably has a higher challenge rating.

(Nathan chuckles)

- [Caldwell] I can't wait for people to play this game.

Yeah, we're gonna have to get some play testers.

I mean, guess that is the nice thing about hell

is there's plenty of people whose hell would be

play testing board games.

- Mm-hmm. (Adam chuckling)

- [Caldwell] I'm gonna put just like a bunch

of ears up here. - Okay, good.

- [Caldwell] Aw, they're so flickable.

- [Adam] Don't forget about the stocks!

The Beholder's got stocks that should be puppy stocks.

- Ohh, that's so good.

Nathan, do you wanna draw some puppy stocks?

- Yeah.

Okay, we've got the dog orb. - Mm-hmm.

- [Nathan] It's more of a dog, I guess, cylinder right now.

- [Caldwell] Yeah, I guess the way that I've drawn it,

it kinds looks like it's just spinning

around really quickly. (chuckling)

- [Nathan] Yeah, it--

- [Adam] There's definitely a fourth head on the back.

- [Caldwell] Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Okay, oh, there they go.

Was not expecting the puppy stocks there.

God, a puppy stock could be nice

'cause sometimes, you don't want a full puppy,

you just want a little head you can scritch.

- [Adam] Yeah, there he is.

- [Caldwell] Aww.

- [Nathan] They're very cute.

- [Caldwell] Can he detach those?

- [Nathan] Yeah, I think so,

I think that's like his second form, maybe.

- [Caldwell] Absolutely, yeah.

And then like, eventually, it's revealed

that it does have a body, it's just invisible.

- [Nathan] Oh, yeah, the invisible bod.

- [Caldwell] Aww, I would love to pet this dog.

- [Managar] I gotta say,

not since John Carpenter's The Thing

have a creative team just fucked up

a dog's form this thoroughly.

(laughing)

- [Caldwell] High praise.

We stayed truest to our suggestion

with this drawing in particular.

Oh, is that a little shiba head up there?

- [Nathan] Yeah, you got one little meme dog up there.

- I love it. - Just for the teens.

- [Managar] Can I get a little puggle?

- [Nathan] Let's try it, let's see if I

remember what those dogs look like.

- [Managar] Just draw Ed Asner,

and then delete everything that doesn't look like a dog.

- [Caldwell] Just draw a purse and give it eyes.

- [Adam] This episode is gonna be like that fateful episode

of Fullmetal Alchemist,

where the little dog was combined with a dog,

in that it's gonna be so upsetting

that all your fans are gonna stop watching with this episode

and never return to the series.

- [Managar] I only know about the show through the internet,

so that's literally the only episode

of Fullmetal Alchemist, right?

- [Caldwell] That's the only one we get down in hell.

Oh, is that a little butt? - Yeah.

- Aww, that's really cute.

Hey, you know, we were drawin' dogs but bad,

but we shoulda just drawn was cats, am I right?

Mmm?

- No, can I get a hotdog comin' outta the butt?

(Caldwell chuckles)

- [Caldwell] Nathan, it needs a hotdog propellor.

- [Adam] Yes, thank you! (laughs)

Yes!

- [Managar] Hotdogs do not have the casing with the tie off,

I do not understand. (Adam laughs)

- [Nathan] It's a brat, it's a brat, okay?

- [Managar] All right, all right.

- [Caldwell] They are classic brats.

Get Michael Jordan away from these things.

- [Adam] So the butt with the hotdog coming out,

that's what he uses as his hands.

(chuckling) - Mm-hmm.

- [Nathan] (chuckling) Okay, so he's got another one

over here, I guess. - (chuckles) Yeah, yeah.

- [Nathan] This one's got a hamburger for some reason.

- [Caldwell] I have to imagine this is some sort

of invasive hotdog species,

where you eat the hotdog and then

you just become a hotdog factory.

- [Managar] No, Caldwell, that's too much lore.

(Caldwell laughs) Roll it back.

- No, Managar, I found this big scroll under my desk.

It's got all of the information we need! (chuckles)

We've gotta fill a 200 page manual on Dogs and Dungeons.

On Dungeon Doggies.

- [Managar] We're gonna get rid of the hotdog parasite

in fifth edition, and I promise you that.

- [Caldwell] It's OP.

- [Adam] Man, my party wiped one of these once.

(Caldwell chuckles)

- [Caldwell] I do think that this could legitimately be

a Dungeons and Dragons expansion,

it's just a weird dungeon where it's only dog monsters.

Why not that?

- [Adam] That sounds like a great idea,

but I couldn't kill any of 'em.

- [Caldwell] I know!

- [Adam] I would just explore and bring food.

- [Managar] Gentlemen, the crimson flame has lit.

- [Nathan] Okay.

- The time has come for judgment.

Adam, if you could summon the unholy words

to bring Cartoonotron into this realm.

- Uh, hey, Cartoonotron, come here.

Good boy, good boy, very good boy.

- [Cartoonotron] Here I come.

Hooray, master, I love you.

I have brought you this big bone.

- Aww.

- [Cartoonotron] And also this dead bird,

and also this dead rat,

and also 700 dead tadpoles.

(chuckling)

I see that you have drawn some lovely puppies.

- Yeah, we've got sort of a big order for you today.

We actually did two full drawings.

- [Cartoonotron] Oh, my goodness.

Hold on, I will need to update my Flash Macromedia player.

- Oh, this can take a minute.

(Cartoonotron grunting)

(Cartoonotron groans)

(Cartoonotron chatters)

- [Cartoonotron] I am two percent done.

(chuckling) (Cartoonotron babbling)

- I'm just gonna shove the drawings

into his mouth while he's doing this.

(Cartoonotron gagging)

(whirring)

- [Cartoonotron] Plug in downloaded,

now preparing cartoon.

- [Nathan] Yay!

(epic fantasy music)

(grunting)

(Nash groans)

- Why did you do that?

It was going to offer us help in exchange for brine shrimp.

- I'm saving my shrimp slots for later.

Also, I hated looking at it.

(False Dog vocalizes)

I use my Orb of Deception.

Come on, boy, go get it!

(False Dog vocalizes) (pants)

- Wait a minute, something isn't right.

I cast Detect Nose.

(False Dog groaning) (grunting)

- Come on! (grunts)

God, it's so wet.

(grunting)

Come on!

Get!

(grunts)

(man sighs) - Ugh, gross.

(beams zapping) (woman screams)

(man screams)

- What, so we're just dead?

- Ugh, this game is so unbalanced.

- Well, if you had given Nash your shrimp,

he would have told you to use the hotdog

as a weapon to defeat the Dorb!

- That's stupid.

- Yeah, I don't know why I bought this game.

- Well,

should we just go back to practicing witchcraft?

- Yeah, let's do it. - Yeah, sounds good.

- All right, that was Dungeons and Doggos,

somehow an animated commercial

for an RPG rule set book that we're publishing.

- An RPG or an arf-PG?

- Holy shit, put that on the back of the book!

That we're making.

- You probably shouldn't start the presses just yet, boys.

- Oh. - Oh.

- I hate to break your hearts like this.

You know, Adam the friendly demon,

it'll sound better coming out of your mouth.

Let 'em know.

- Well, first of all, you've been sued

by Wizards of the Coast.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- And secondly, this game is terribly unbalanced.

We're looking at three dog bosses here, really,

if you look at 'em all together.

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

- I enjoy your ingenuity,

but I'm afraid it doesn't work

as a finished product. - Wow.

- All right, well, I guess we gotta do

some more play testing with this one, huh?

- [Adam] Yeah.

(Nathan sighs) - Darn.

- You know, honestly, hearing the criticism

coming from you, Adam, it makes sense,

and I accept it.

- Yeah!

Still hard to swallow, but I can taste

the mustard of friendship in there.

So does this mean we don't get punished?

- Oh, no, no, you're definitely getting punished.

Actually, the hell barbecue is in a couple of hours,

and we're gonna need a lot of hotdogs,

and congratulations, you're where they're comin' from.

- Ugh.

Adam, thanks for hangin' out with us.

- No problem, happy to be here.

- Bend over boys! - Oh.

- It's a Polish festival! (Adam laughs)

- Ugh. - Ugh.

- [Nathan] They're Just comin' out.

- [Caldwell] Oh, they're just spillin' out my behind.

Thanks for watching Cartoon Hell,

we're here forever. (Nathan groans)

I guess we finally found out where the sausage is made!

(Nathan groans) It's our butt holes.