Original subtitles

Unknown: You are joining in the public speaking secrets class.

Can you believe it's July already? It is. Yes. Oh my

goodness, time flies. I think some people might be out there.

You know, the non doers. They're just partying. They're drinking.

They're on the lake, the non dual, the non dual doers are

here. They're getting shit done.

If you are joining us make sure you comment. I want to see.

Could I put in the chat? Curtis? We said in the chat. Yes. All

right.

Patrick, Sarah Daniels here. Yes. Now notice the setups a

little bit different since we're going to be talking about public

speaking, how to be a more confident speaker. So see, we

kind of moved the table to here so that I can show you different

techniques I can. I'll walk back and forth by the weekend. If you

can hear me loud and clear. Put in the chat. Yes. Danny is

coming on here. We got wild shots blowing up here from

Jakarta. We got Danny. We got Nathan. We got Bronson. We've

got Samuel. Maurice. Jake. Joelle tau. Boone. Alexander.

Yes. Very nice. Very nice. Now one of the things that if you

are tuning in, you're listening to this class from home. Or two

things. Number one, tell me that you can see the PowerPoint. You

can see our PowerPoint, as well as CVO on video. That's my

video. That's number one. Number two, you will get more out of

today's class, or tonight's class, depends on your time

zone, if you are standing up, because I'll be teaching you

different techniques, then you can kind of go alongside while

you're taking notes. Sometimes, if you're taking notes, but if

you follow along, you'll get more out of it. Because there's

one thing to just listen passively. But there's a whole

lot of thing if you actually do it right. Does that make sense?

It does. Yes. Awesome. The second book because I want to

see your your your comment, and try and make sure you ask good

questions. Wonderful. The quality of questions will

determine the quality of the answer. Usually, if you can ask

a question, don't write a long story. Write something that

something in your first one or two lines. Quickly get to the

point what is it you're trying to ask see who I'm going to be

moderating here on the chat. I'll be looking out for those

good questions. And then I'll be tapping on the shoulder to

address those questions. So if you can ask good questions, we

will help you get some good answers. Make sense? Yeah. Good.

How many of you have done some public speaking in the past?

Maybe when you back when you were in school, you have to

present you had to do some kind of presentation or at work, you

have to present to some kind of a group or Toastmasters or even

speaking professionally. Many of them said yes. You know from

high school for business business. Yes. Somewhat. Yes.

College. Very nervous. See, isn't a statistic that says that

people are more afraid of public speaking than dying. That's

right. That's right. People rather the people talk about a

funeral people would rather give the eulogy versus would rather

die in a coffin than giving the eulogy a eulogy shows so tell me

the your biggest challenges when it comes to public speaking?

What are some of the things that you want to get out of tonight's

class? So some Katherine rule of public speaking it was public

humiliation very tense. Yep. Then he says usually it's been

very tense Okay. What else? What else? How to get content how to

get the content interesting or get content interesting good.

I'm gonna teach you nervous fear of running short of words you're

wanting shorting okay? It's kind of forget what to say. Right?

Shell says closing on stage closing on stage. Okay, we're

going to cover a little bit of this but that's that's too big

of a topic to cover him in a two three hour class Curtis is not

focusing on the audience, but about how I sound how I look.

more confident stuttering increasing memorability. Okay,

so forgetting forgetting what to say, Okay, how to be my

authentic self on stage. How not to cry too much. To stay on

topic. Yes, that's good. Speak from subconscious mind more

professional sounding. Very good. Very, very good. And these

are very common challenges from anyone that's present or as

presenters, speakers, right? You get a little nervous, you know

what to say? How do you look how the audience perceive you. And

most of the time, a lot of this comes from childhood

programming. Because you think about back in school, right?

When you have the teachers standing in front of the class,

we were taught to learn right, in a certain way, in, let's say,

in the Asian culture, right? You don't see any you don't see

anything you don't put up. You don't put up your hand, you just

take notes, and then you know, you start your bowel and the

beginning of class. Yes, right. And that's it. So a lot of that

is culture, cultural conditioning, that we we are

not, we will not giving the chance the opportunity to kind

of stand out to be in front of the room to share ideas, your

thoughts, right. So she's got a lot to share with you. If you're

ready.

Put in the chat.

Tell me you're ready. Yes, yes. Ready? Ready, ready? Here we go.

Very good. Okay. So how to have unshakable confidence when

speaking to a group of people. The very first lesson I want to

share with you is this, write it down. All speaking, is public

speaking.

All speaking is public speaking, the first thing you have to get

out of your head is, oh, if I'm speaking to a group of people,

five people, 10 people, I should be very different. Versus

speaking to one on one. Know, if speaking of one on one that is

public speaking, okay, you speak in a group of two, that is

public speaking, you speak to a group of 100 1000, there is

public speaking,

it is the same. So in your mind, why you get nervous, because in

your mind, you have this kind of this idea of, Oh, I speak a

certain way if I'm one on one, but the minute I'm stage Oh, I

need to be like completely, totally different. That is

simply not true. So all speaking is public speaking. So let's

talk about secret number one.

And that is this speaker is May and is not born, say with me

speaker is May and is not a born because you may think, well, you

know seafood, some people they are naturally born, they have a

lot of confidence, and they're naturally charismatic, and

they're naturally very good on stage. There's some people that

you may perceive that that's who they are. That's what they're

like. They are always just confident. But I think when you

met me, I'm fairly extroverted, extroverted, but I remember what

the first few times you put, I think about six months worth of

the first six months, you know, see if we put me up on stage six

times, maybe eight times, you know, once per month, every

month, and I was terrified each time. There's also desk it's

very good one on one. Yes to him. That's no problem. You can

do it all day. Like that's no problem. But somehow when you're

in front of people, yes. Right. Because in your mind, you think

that's different? Or I would get up there and I'll ramble. Yeah,

I would paste too. I did all I try to tell bad jokes. jokes.

Yes. I realize you know what, yeah. bad jokes, and no one

laughs on stage. Right. You thought it's funny, but no one

thought is funny. Yeah. And I did all the classic mistakes,

then he showed me you know how to be broken down. That's right.

Okay. Pay attention. He's gonna show you just a fraction of

those and you can apply lessons will prove that to you. Okay. So

you see Siva presenting today? TEDx, right. Yeah, speaking to

1000s of people. Australia. We're going to November con

we're going to Australia con 4000. entrepreneurs. Yes. Right.

I'll be one of the keynote speakers alongside with some

amazing Yes, amazing CEOs, entrepreneurs being negotiated

where you're one of the main panelists deciding the million

dollar winner. Yeah, I'm gonna be also investing some money

like taking on like looking at what kind of like a shark tank

type of kind of people pitch us a deal. And I'll see a bone

invest. So let me prove to you This is sivut today, right? This

is t foo many, many years ago. So I want you to take a look at

the picture. There was seafood back in Toastmasters when I was

probably I don't know. 20 years old. 20 something years old.

Many many years ago, he's nothing so I want you to look at

the picture and tell me about this man. Tell me about this

young man. How would you see just described glasses glasses.

What else? studious, studious, nerd. Cute nerd nerd. No, no, no

Don't don't don't pull any punches. spiky hair nervous.

That's right. You can tell he's a little nervous. What else

here? Yeah. Nervous teenager scared insecure? uncertain.

uncertain. Yes. shy. You can you can see like, you know, you can

see the shy. not confident.

Right, not 100% confident. That's correct. Yes. It needs a

makeover. Yes. Look for young, super young experienced, right

hesitant. This smile is more to cover up their nervousness,

right.

Jenny Yeah, that's right. That's right. No rattles. Oh, no red

sweet notice video. So what I'm saying is this, you can see

that's where SQL came from.

So I know for a fact speakers may not born. So the speaker

that you see today to communicate that you see me

today presenting and teaching to millions around the world. Guess

what?

I learn how to do this. It is not natural. It is not natural

bond skill. Every thing that I do the skills that I have, I

developed it I hone the skill and I learn it.

I learn it one at a time. So don't me give me an excuse. Oh

seafood. I'm not looking. I'm not naturally charismatic. I'm

not desert. I speak with an accent and all they don't really

want to hear any of those fucking excuses. None. Because

if I could go from that what you see today, this

At least you can improve. Yes.

That's where I came from. So from there when I joined

Toastmasters, then later on now first you have to understand

when I joined Toastmasters, my goal was never to be a speaker.

My goal was very simple. My goal was simply to improve my

English. That was it. Because I was shy, I was nervous. And I

thought maybe joining Toastmasters in case you don't

know what Toastmasters is, is a nonprofit speaking kind of club,

right? You go there, and you would practice in front of

people and people give you feedback. And I joined

Toastmasters because I wanted to improve my English, reduce my

accent just by a little bit. That was it. That was my goal.

Right? So after I joined Toastmasters, I was practicing

and practicing and practicing. And I was showing up, what's the

word showing up every single week, every single week, I would

do something every single week I would, I would present I would

do a speech, I would volunteer, I would do something after both

three to six months of that. Now, in Toastmasters, they

always give you these new forms kind of feedback form. After you

do a speech, people could give you a bit of feedback. Yes.

Right. And they would say so first couple months? Oh, yeah,

you know, you could you could improve on this. And maybe you

should do this, you should, you should speak a little bit

louder. Because you speak a little slower, you can do

whatever it is, right? It gives you a feedback. After about, I

know, five, six months or so people started giving me

feedback. Listen to this, they say, oh, great job, the feedback

gets shorter and shorter. Outstanding.

You are natural. Give me a fucking break. There's nothing

natural about what you see there. Right. But there's your

natural. And I'm like this nothing natural about what I do

at all, if anything is very unnatural, and high. force it I

make it natural. Right. And from there, if you thought, you know,

maybe you've got something and remember, there was the

president of the club back then running Toastmasters. He said to

me that you know, Dan, you got

this, there's something about you, you've got an you cause an

X Factor. There's something about you that on stage it even

though your English is not the best and and your delivery is

not the best. But there's something about the way you

communicate that people resonates with you somehow.

Maybe because you're not so perfect. Maybe because you speak

an accent? I don't know. It's Oh, that's it. That's

interesting. So then from there, I don't know how I don't know

why. But I was studying a lot of the great speakers like Tony

Robbins, and a lot of great people back then. Zig Ziglar.

Yes. The old days, so a lot of speakers and I thought to

myself,

wouldn't it be great? If someday I could do that.

That was it. I had this thought if someday I could be onstage

just just like them and I could talk to people I could. I could

inspire people. Like wouldn't wouldn't that be awesome. There

was just this kind of like, it's like, you know, when you were a

kid dream, like, it wouldn't be nice. Like he's like, I saw the

county nice without that car. Or you see something on a magazine?

Wouldn't it be nice if I can go on there for vacation? And there

was it right, because I was listening to these like

motivational tapes. Yes. cassette tapes, by the way. Yes.

Right. cassette tapes back then. I know y'all are young young

people.

What is cassette tape man like? No, not CD before CD like

cassette it

anyway. So I had that thought.

And because of as I was learning about different high income

skills, and I was already very entrepreneurial. So even though

a lot of entrepreneur activities I was doing copywriting was on

computer with computer a hiding behind a computer. I didn't have

to deal with people, right? I didn't have to deal with people.

But because I was so good at it. I was making very good living as

a young guy. And people started asking me like, how, how do you

do what you do? And I was like, Okay, what do you mean? Like you

just do this? I show them on the computer. I do much kind of

geeky kind of thing I do. My thing is Okay, here we go. Yep.

And they're like,

what did you do?

Like, can you show us more? So what do you mean like,

Okay, there you go. That's how you do SEO like to do this stuff

like to me because it's so second nature. They're like, No,

no, no, like, can you teach us huh? I said what I mean, like

teach you can you can you do some kind of a workshop, right?

Like to speak to our people is that when you discovered you

really enjoyed teaching, I actually had a good question. I

enjoyed teach. I later discovered but actually enjoy

teaching vacuum. I was already in high school when I was

learning martial art. And I was already teaching martial art,

right in high school, because I got bullied, right? So from

there are they? I don't I don't know. I didn't know what it was

like. I didn't know it's called teaching, right? I just knew I

like to share, right what I do and what I know. And when I see

People using and using what I teach and it's impacting the

lives I get a kick, I get a kick out of it right? I remember a

phrase once learn, do teach. That's right. And then I also

remember you telling the story it is a video a YouTube video of

yours where you're talking about when you're at school, you got

bullied, then when you did martial arts, you used to have

like, all the other kids come out. Yes. So that's when it

started really when I saw Wow, okay, so it was back in high

school in cafeteria that I was just in lunchtime, I would teach

martial art. Is it a way for you to better your skill when you

you know, you learn you do it? And of course, naturally if you

have to teach it, it I it is but back then I didn't think about

that guy. Just something that I do. We just like oh, you asked

me I didn't charge anything. Right? He asked me what what

what would you so just just do this and I was just thought he

asked me and and I share with you. I guess the problem with a

lot of people that do learn to teach is they don't even do it

properly. They try to teach it. So now they're teaching the shit

to other people. Right? That's right. So So from there, that's

our teaching, like this Toastmasters back then you can

see me in the middle, right? That was my father's jacket.

Right? Right back in Toastmasters, right?

Yeah, like just mean, the middle you can see right there. Now at

the time was very interesting is we had a lot of people who would

go through Toastmasters that would come to the club. Right?

And you would hear stories like, wow, you know,

wouldn't be great if they could be a like, I'd be a professional

speaker, including at the time, the President told me I've got

expected he wanted to be a professional speaker right now.

But guess what, over the years, as far as I know, as far as I

know, because I still know, as far as I know, guess how many

people eventually went on and become a professional speaker?

Only you Yep, that's right. Zero except me. Zero.

None.

Why?

Why?

Nobody implements? Adam says nobody implements? Yes. You kept

at it. commitment, consistency. consistency. Yes. No drive is a

nice idea to have. But you know, they're not that serious. Many,

many, many, many reasons. Right? So then I was speaking as a

young guy, right. You know, speaking at, you know, business

type setting, was speaking to people small group at first, you

know, you can see three people, five people, 10 people, 20

people, right. wasn't wasn't like it wasn't a big crowd. I

think this I was speaking at a local cash flow club at a time.

Oh, yeah. You can see the cash flow. Yeah, cash flow club,

right. It's more like in a community centers, small group

of people was 20, some odd years old, right? I was already. I

think at this point, I was 23. Four, maybe something like that

you had a better a better suit, I think already by then. Right?

So at the time, so just think about that.

That's how simple is it from there, then to lead on more and

more time or practice to this?

Being the opening speaker for TEDx. Now, once, twice this TEDx

Danny Park, I believe I was speaking to 2600 people in

Vancouver,

being the opening speaker, in my red suit,

from the shy,

nervous, uncertain, like, kind of young guy to being the

opening speaker for TEDx Sandy Park.

A speaker it's made. It's not born.

I may, myself, a great presenter, and speaker took many

years,

many, many years. And over the years, I've learned a lot of

lessons, I'm going to teach some of the most important lessons

that I've learned with you tonight. But I want you to know,

doesn't matter if you're speaking with an accent, doesn't

matter. If you're not tall enough. Doesn't matter if you're

not articulate enough. Doesn't matter if you lack confidence

doesn't matter. If you get nervous. None of this shit

matters. With practice with the right training and coaching, you

could get now you're going to get to this level, maybe maybe

not. Yeah, but at least you could get better. Yes, you get

just a little bit better.

Yes, I know one thing for certain seafood because you gave

me that opportunity to learn how to, you know, speak publicly. It

may not I may not be as good as you. But I know certainly for a

fact that I'm able to when I'm put on stages, I can get up

there, I can emcee I can do different things. So it may not

be a high income skill for me. But the confidence is definitely

conveyed through. I see the world a different way. When I go

when I see speakers now. I understand differently about

what they're doing. And think about your own life, how many

opportunities you missed because you didn't have this the

ticular skill set, how many opportunities just slip through

your fingers when maybe it's an in a business setting? That Hey,

you there's a there's opportunity for you to lead to

present but you were nervous. Are you like, ah, maybe not me,

maybe somebody else, right? Or maybe opportunities where you

could speak to very important client, but because you're

nervous, you want the pair, you didn't have the skill sets, and

you kind of you lose the you lose the deal. Could that be a

possibility? Just one, just think about how many

opportunities how much money you've lost as a result of not

having the skill set?

Many, too many effects the quality of life. Yes, it builds

the confidence to

Adam, Sam was offered to speak at TED. Yeah, awesome. Awesome.

Very good. So what's the number one speaker is May and not born

made? Right is made. Okay. So as a speaker, this is Lehren Darren

lacrosse. Now, you may or may not know who Darren Yes, there

was actually World Champion speaker for Toastmasters

one of the years meaning that out of worldwide 25,000

contestants. And he's the he's the number one number one

worldwide.

So would you wouldn't you say that's pretty good. Right? The

only you have out of all the clubs from all over the world.

But out of the 25,000 in a local level Club by club, district by

district meeting everybody. Yes, we're on stage and to become the

number one world champion speaker. Yes. Impressive. Very,

very impressive, right.

They're impressive. And guess what, many years ago, there was

so many years, these many years ago.

You can see a post that he did.

He was growing his speaking business. He saw me speak at a

conference. Right? And the time was already

pretty successful. You saw what I did.

He asked me to be his mentor.

I was the one who told him to be on YouTube. Then you can see a

little thing they said can you see Yeah. Many years ago I made

a great decision about consistency. You too coaxing

from a marketing mentor, Dan Locke, I created a habit of

putting up one video a day on YouTube. Though I did not have a

perfect track record of that. I have consistently added many

each week. I'm not exactly hitting the goal of one each

day. But this has nervous nevertheless brought me

marketing momentum over the years, I now have over 2.5

million views on over 12 190 videos this these videos bring

me an average of 7000 views weekly that was opposed from

many many years ago. That's crazy. That's awesome. But what

I want to share with you you don't know once you have the

skill, who didn't know from that kid I wanted to do was improve

my English and and reduce my accent, right to then coaching

the world champion. Like the speaker champion of the like, of

the world, like just think about the journey, isn't it insane?

Anything is possible Anything is possible in life, right?

So I want you to just remember everything I'm going to teach

you I wanted you to look at both pictures

from this to that

tell me about the man deceiver that you know today in the red

suit.

It's coming in on the chat here powerful, polished, certainty

confident speak with conviction.

It's all authority. I'm not gonna read that one posture is

totally different. clarity, empowerment, evolution look like

money well known

can move mountains, a role model that I look up to rule number

one, the king of high ticket sales. don't give a fuck what

anyone else thinks. Clearly well practice progress, progress,

brave authority, progress. Maybe you started off like what Cebu

was like many years ago, maybe you a little bit better. Maybe a

little bit worse. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

You just need to forget comparing yourself to everybody

else. Who would you compare yourself to yourself? You want

to be a better version of yourself. You want to be just a

little bit better as a speaker forget trying to compete compare

you yourself to me to anybody else. Forget that.

Compare that to yourself to the to the EU yesterday to the EU a

month ago than a year or a year ago. That's the only competition

you need to worry about. forget forget everything else. Makes

sense. Right?

So secret number two, eliminate stage fright. Now how do you

eliminate stage fright? How many of you get nervous when you have

to present especially before you go up to stage or before kind of

step in front of the room, and you just get you get sweaty

palms you get nervous, dizzy, dizzy, all you like cambree is

very fast, right? Or you're sweating right? How many you

experienced, huh? Right? This is the worst for me here. Yes.

He I forget everything he was about to say. Yes, that's right.

That's right. Okay, I get scatterbrain and a scatter

blink. Yes, scatter. So So now all you throw too much. I'm

gonna say this, what should I start off with all these things,

right.

So

let me clear this once and for all. Stage fright occurs because

you're more concerned about yourself and you than your

audience. It's very simple. I used to have huge, like, some

terrible stage fright, I would get very, very, very nervous.

Because whenever I have to go out and go on stage, I will

remember when I was in just in high school when I couldn't

speak a word of English, right? So I would remember a lot of

scenarios or they're gonna laugh at me, they're not gonna

understand what I say. And then they're gonna laugh in my

accent, I'm not gonna react, you're not gonna react to you,

they're not gonna pay attention to like, a lot of these stories

in my mind. And I notice whenever you get nervous,

whenever I get nervous, it's simply because you are focusing

so much on yourself and not on your audience. It's very, very

simple. Why do you get nervous? Because before we walked up to

walk up to the stage before you present what's going through

your mind, is this

thing gonna like me?

Am I gonna be well received?

Do I look good?

Do I sound smart?

All these things? What am I forget what I what is I get?

Which again? Sending? What if? What if I embarrass myself?

Whenever you get nervous, the only reason you get nervous is

because you're focusing on yourself and not on your

audience. The minute when I got that, when I when I kind of put

myself just just just put put that aside. Put your audience

first. Put your audience first. You notice your your

nervousness, your stage fright, dramatically reduced,

dramatically reduce when you're only focusing on Okay, what's

the outcome that I want my audience to get? What what I

want to walk I want them to walk away with what's the value I'm

delivering? Does that make sense? The minute you stop

focusing on yourself, just focusing on audience, you see,

you're a lot less nervous.

Because all this Tell me if it's not true, everything that you're

thinking about everything, anything that makes you nervous,

guaranteed tell me

it's all you

it's all you're focusing on self you get nervous.

Period.

Right? But when you're focusing on the audience, you don't get

nervous. Because you don't really care.

You're not focusing on Do I look good? Do I sound good or look

smarter or no? I care about if my audience is getting value. I

care about if they're walking away with something. I care if

they get it. I care if I help them I care if they if I even

make some kind of impact transform their lives. That's

that's your number one focus.

Then this stuff, or the mee, mee mee mee mee or your ego. Put

aside Get out of the way. Get out of ego write it down. Get

out of your ego kanji audience ego

get out your ego