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- [Doctor] Okay, take a seat for me there.

- [Micky] Let's see, how do you want to check?

- [Doctor] What do you want me to check?

- I want you to check if they're working properly.

- [Doctor] Okay, sure.

- You talk in an ordinary voice.

- Okay, sure.

How did you get to the hospital today?

- I don't get to the hospital today.

Now, that's all right.

Uh, now talk in your ordinary voice.

- Are you going to have lunch in the canteen today?

- I can't hear anything.

- Okay, sure.

- Is that good or bad?

- That's okay seein' as you haven't got your hearing aid in.

- I can't really hear you.

- [Doctor] Have you been exposed

to loud noises during your life?

- [Micky] To what?

- Have you been exposed to loud noises during your life?

- In my life? - Yes.

- Yes, this is why I have an allowance from the army.

- That's right.

- I was blown up.

- [Doctor] I do, yes.

- [Doctor] The Tirpitz?

- [Doctor] What a fantastic story.

What's your secret?

- What's my what?

- [Doctor] What's your secret?

- My feet?

- [Doctor] Secret, for long life.

- Always being in love.

- [Doctor] Ah.

- With either someone or something.

And always enthusiastic about something.

Committed to something.

There it is.

Teeth.

- [Interviewer] When was the last time you went on a trip?

- Last time I went on a trip. (chuckles)

A very long time ago.

On a serious trip, a long time ago.

Like this...

A trip, you mean for a fortnight or something.

Oh God.

Years.

Years and years.

(wind whipping)

Hello.

- Hi again. - Yeah.

(men chattering)

- That's it, let yourself down.

- You've been there several times, have you?

To St. Nazaire. - No, I've never

been to St. Nazaire, but I've been--

- To other places.

St. Nazaire is a bit of a gloomy place itself.

- I don't much about it.

Is it?

- But Poland's nice. - Right.

- Is it, it's a port, though, isn't it?

- It's a port.

We destroyed it.

- [Mark] (chuckles) Yes.

- Loads of my friends were killed in the raid.

- [Man] The sea spray, wasn't it?

- It's a very emotional occasion always.

- [Mark] And I think especially for you,

but also for the French as well.

- Oh, the French very much.

- [Neil] We'll get airborne, we'll talk to Valley.

We'll see if we can get them to let us go

to Strumble direct.

If not, we're gonna have to cut across, mate,

down towards Carter.

- As you come in to St. Nazaire will we go up the Loire?

The river? - Yes.

- Oh, that'll be amazing if good visibility.

- We're going to try. - And the way,

to see the way we actually came in.

(engine rumbling)

- [Mark] That was wind on the props and that.

- [Neil] Yeah, it looks all honky dory, mate.

Shall we?

- [Mark] Whiskey is rolling.

(mumbles)'s good, p's and t's and the speed is rising.

Gonna get to that 70 knots (mumbles).

(pilot mumbles)

(hands clapping) * For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

* For he's a jolly good fellow

(men laughing) * Which nobody can deny

- [Man] You ready?

Tell 'em to sing (mumbles).

(Micky grunts)

- Not one's gone out.

- Quite happy-- - They're almost,

they're almost. - Come on, come on.

(man mumbles)

(men blowing)

Oh yeah, very civilized. (man clapping)

- [Man] There you are, Statue of Liberty.

- Now I'll put my teeth back in.

(man laughing)

(cork pops)

- Whoa! - Whoops.

Cheers, Micky.

Many happy returns.

- Many happy returns. - Cheers.

- Thank you. - Cheers.

- Thank you.

I can't.

- [Man] You have to, you must.

- I really can't. - You must.

Come on.

- [Woman] Where are you going to aim it for me?

(group laughing)

- Forgive me.

(group laughs)

Look at that.

Oh, we must make a good program of this, we really must.

- [Man] Yes, we have to, Micky.

That's-- - How? How?

No, I'm not worthy of it.

I haven't done nearly enough.

I must invent a few things.

- [Man] I shouldn't say that if I was you.

- The story, what is the plot?

- We don't have a plot yet.

There are too many plots.

- Too many.

- [James] We're going to have

to spend about a month here.

- Well, I hope so.

That's what I feel to get the real story.

- To go through-- - I was wondering

what the story would be that I'd make about myself.

I think it could be a major comic character, really.

But not entirely.

- [James] Satirical character.

- Satirical character.

Not satirical in his own eyes. (chuckles)

But it could be, some of it is so ridiculous.

- [James] Well, improbable.

You led an improbable life.

- [Man] It was what I was meant to do.

- Never going sufficiently in any camp, I think,

enough to be identified with them.

- [James] That's the problem.

- Yes.

- [James] That's the problem for us.

- Except by those who just think I'm a name dropper.

- Yes. - Like the reviewer

in the Telegraph

who just said that I met

all the right people at the right moment,

and he seems to have known everybody.

- [James] Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean

you're a name dropper.

- No, it doesn't, no. - It just means you were

in the right place

at the right time. - That's all, by accident.

- [James] Which you were in the cities.

- It was quite by chance.

- [James] Yes, you were quite fortunate.

(upbeat music)

(birds and insects chirping)

- [Micky] Look for something else, Jim, I'll find it

because I know what it looks like so well.

- [James] Okay, that's fine.

That's a curious place here.

Hard to think by the 20 year's time

I'd have gone through all of this.

- It's very baffling, I must say, for anybody.

I am sorry about this.

I put it somewhere special, you know.

- [James] That's all right.

- Know its exact color, though.

- [James] You see, if you'd been sorting things out

then that's fatal.

* We are climbing Jacob's ladder

* We are climbing Jacob's ladder

* We are climbing Jacob's ladder

* These soldiers in this fight

(Jim chuckles)

- [James] Well, it's okay, Micky.

We're here for four days.

- [James] You're kidding me.

- Here it is. - Fantastic.

- You see? - Excellent.

- Don't pretend.

- Oh, perfect.

Perfect, Micky.

- [James] All we're going to do

is just look at some of the photos.

- Yeah, okay. - And then I'll

write down what they are.

- Yeah, I will.

- Then if there are any stories behind them...

- Yes.

- Yes, you'd have to get permission

to use things like that.

- It's the family ones

that are very nice.

I initially thought that was here, but it's not is it?

Unless that's when you were developing the place.

- Do you know I've never seen it.

- [James] Haven't you?

- Could be Mary possibly.

I don't know. - Oh, it's you and Mary.

This is definitely you.

- That's me.

- [James] The seat behind you says Canadian Pacific.

- I love that.

- [James] That's you on the royal tour, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.

- I met Micky Burn in the basement

of the Special Forces Club in London

way back in 1990 when I was researching a book

about his Commando days.

I was introduced to this bevy

of rather mature looking fierce gentlemen

whose duty that day was to decided whether or not

I was a suitable candidate for their personal histories.

And it seems that one of the people

I impressed most was Micky Burn.

And then he invited me to come out here

to spend a weekend with him.

My approach at that time was to find out

about his days in the army, but over the course

of the weekend, I got to realize that there was

a much more complex individual there,

someone who had within the scope of his life

virtually a complete history of the 20th century.

Most of the other men had the raid to talk about

or their days in the Commandos,

but there wasn't that much before or since.

Whereas you realized that the Commando episode

was really quite a small one in a life

of significant episodes.

(Mark and air traffic controller chattering)

- [Air Traffic Controller] And likewise we've got the 1015.

Any other ways you want me to check on?

- [Mark] Stand by Whiskers.

- Can you remember what sort

of plane it was?

- 1939.

- Wow.

- Wonderful.

25 below.

Do we approach it?

- [Mark] Not enough, not enough.

(Micky humming)

1-7.

In fact, no, make it 1-8-0.

We had some drift there.

- [Neil] Yeah, it's in another 30 miles.

So that's 50 on...

- [Neil] No, no, no, add 30 miles.

- [Mark] Oh, add 30 miles.

- [Air Traffic Controller] (mumbles) 105.

(mumbles) to Blackpool.

- [Neil] Stand by to turn.

- When anybody asks me what he does,

you know when I'm describing Micky,

I say he's a poet, a writer.

He's been in Colditz, seasoned travelers,

been all over Europe,

but I always think him first as a poet.

- Yeah, go on, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.

(Micky chuckles)

- [James] After the war when Micky moved to North Wales,

ostensibly it was to be a writer.

I think it was only when he came here

he began to think of himself as a poet.

And I think he found a great deal of comfort

in being able to use the mechanics of poetry

to record the various episodes in his life.

(soft orchestral music)

(book slamming shut)

- [Mark] There's the river.

- Yes. Yeah. - That's where you went up.

- [Micky] This is the way we came in.

- Yup. - Yup.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Air Traffic Control Operator] Whiskey, whiskey, report--

- [Mark] Officer whiskey, wilco.

- [Mark] Destroy that, yeah.

- [Mark] It does, doesn't it?

I was certainly expecting it to be much bigger.

- [Micky] Before the war at St. Nazaire

on the French Atlantic coast, the biggest dock

in the world was built to house

the biggest ship in the world,

the French Atlantic liner, Normandy.

In 1940, the Germans occupied St. Nazaire

and fortified the dock.

In 1942 on the night of March the 27th,

600 British sailors and commanders

sailed in to destroy it.

This Normandy dock, over a thousand feet long,

was the only one on the Atlantic coast

huge enough to accommodate the German battleship Tirpitz.

In January 1942,

Winston Churchill wrote, "The whole strategy

"of the war turns at this period on this ship."

If it should join the U-boats in the Atlantic,

which had already sunk millions of tons

of Allied shipping, but it could be starved into submission.

The use of the dock for repairs and maintenance

had to be denied the Tirpitz.

Some of us who did

the denying returned here 32 years later.

So many died, so many lives were changed.

It certainly changed my life.

I started out a Commando captain

and ended up a prisoner in Colditz

with plenty of time to think.

The plan, Operation Chariot, sounded frighteningly simple.

Load an old destroyer with delayed action explosives,

sail her to St. Nazaire, and ram her

into the dock gate at night.

Then about dawn, while a flotilla of little ships

brought us home, she would blow up,

taking the dock gate with her.

The old entrance torpedoed by (mumbles).

The Old Mole, lethal to so many.

The colossal U-boat pins.

The huge dry dock gates, 54 feet high,

35 thick, 167 across.

Huge, yes, but then suddenly an incredibly small target

after sailing 450 miles.

- [Neil] Guys, keep it on this track, mate.

- [Micky] We're just above it now.

- [Mark] We can keep that lighthouse in as well.

(water lapping) (seagulls squawking)

- [Man] Foreign decoration should be

at the end. - The what?

You doctors?

- Foreign decorations should be--

- What is it?

- Should it be first?

- Is that?

Now wait a minute.

- Yours is on the left. - Yes.

Yours is the wrong way around.

- [Micky] It is the wrong way around.

- Your military cross

should be in front.

- Your military cross

should be there.

- I know, I know.

- I was told it would be done

by Micky.

(speaking in foreign language)

Don't worry, Micky, I'll wear them tomorrow.

I'm not gonna wear them today.

Oh well, your good health.

(speaking in foreign language)

- We're all very idealistic. - Yes, we are.

Yes, Micky.

- I was on the small boat

for a very short time then I jumped.

Campbeltown was one of 50 ancient craft

the United States had given us in exchange

for bases in the Caribbean.

Her funnels were cut back to make to make her look

in the dark more like a German warship.

Packed under Cambeltown's forward gun

were five tons of explosive

consisting of 24 depth charges in six sections

hidden in concrete.

The pencil fuses, which had a delay of eight hours,

were concealed in the hollowed out leg of a mess room table.

The rest of the Commandos would go in wooden motor launches,

which they knew with next to no protection

against gunfire and with extra fuel tanks on deck,

could become deathtraps.

By day, to bluff German reconnaissance planes,

we would cruise in the formation

of an empty submarine sweep.

On March the 27th, Admiral Karl Donitz went

to inspect his U-boats at St. Nazaire.

At that very moment we were well on our way.

- Another question, important question.

Is there a reason for you three,

the reason why you decided to involve in this operation?

- We were tired of waiting for the Germans to attack us

and we felt that we should attack them,

and therefore we volunteered to join.

- [Micky] At half past midnight we entered

the estuary and advanced across the sandbanks.

We could smell the countryside.

15 minutes to go.

A searchlight stabbed the darkness behind us

and then incredibly went out.

On we sailed.

- We all were, yes.

- Have you sometimes (speaking in foreign language) asked

if you were frightened by moment.

- The only thing I was frightened of

was showing fear in front of my men.

We were too busy when we got started.

No time to be frightened.

(speaking in foreign language)

- And then I gave the order for all the guns

to open the firing.

(explosions booming)

- [Micky] With every enemy light and gun on her,

and everyone onboard bracing himself for the ram,

she tore through the torpedo nets

and with our white ensign flying

while our guns firing, her bough smoking,

she hit the dock gates dead center with such force

that her boughs buckled 36 feet back.

The explosive charge lay right against the gates.

It was 34 minutes past one.

She was four minutes late.

- [Bill] Now, we're right on target, now it's our job.

We've gotta get out to this

so-called ship as quickly as possible.

Here go the protection parties,

Roy off, Roderick off, the demolition parties.

- [Micky] I was on Lieutenant Commander Stephens's launch.

It received a direct hit.

At blaze and out of control, it drifted downstream.

Corporal Arthur Young pulled me ashore.

I was the only one to land who wasn't wounded.

- What did you do before the Second World War?

Your job, your...

- [Reporter] You were in Berlin.

- No. (speaking in foreign language)

- Why did you met Adolf Hitler?

(speaking in foreign language)

- I'm ashamed of it.

(reporters chattering)

- I have a little present for you.

This is you.

- Oh no!

(everyone chattering)

(cameras clicking)

Oh (speaking in foreign language) to you.

10 o'clock, Campbeltown's deadline was long past.

No explosion, the lock gate still intact.

The Germans boarded her, searched her,

and found only their flag.

- [Commando] At that moment there was a bang

and we heard this terrific explosion,

which could be none other than six tons of amatol.

- [Micky] Over a hundred of the occupying Germans,

looters and souvenir hunters, were killed

in and around Campbeltown when she blew up.

More troops arrived to ferret out the rest of us

from our hiding places.

They began to bring in prisoners.

Among them, many who had spent the small hours

clinging to the wreckage of their MLs in the icy sea.

(men chattering)

The round up was in full swing.

There's Corporal Author Young in the white sweater

who saved my life.

I hid in the engine room on one of the boats

in the submarine basin with rifleman Paddy Bush.

We hoped we might get away from there later,

but we were caught in the morning

and we were marched through the streets

with bayonets stuck into our backs

by German guards and with our hands up.

And I was very conscious that we were being filmed,

and it struck me that this film

was a propaganda film and it might possibly

get back to British Intelligence,

so I put my hands up with my fingers like this

in the shape of the V sign and I believe that this sign

did in fact get back to British Intelligence

and was taken to mean that the raid had been a success.

(speaking in foreign language)

After perhaps a week.

(speaking in foreign language)

She had them enlarged

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Reporter] Audrey Hepburn?

- Uh-huh, Hepburn. Oh!

(speaking in foreign language)

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

(speaking in foreign language)

- That's the story, I can't help it.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Woman] Incredible.

(speaking in foreign language)

(cameras clicking)

- [James] You ready?

- Yes, of course.

(projector rumbling)

- [James] There we go.

- [James] That's right.

- [James] Ah.

(James chuckles)

- That's good of Mary, isn't it?

- [James] It's excellent, yes.

It's what, 40 years since you've seen these?

- [Micky] Yes, it is.

- [James] Good heavens.

Oh, is this cleaning the mussels, Micky? (mumbles)

- [Micky] Yes it is.

- [James] Well I can see where the money went.

That's quite a lot of equipment.

- Dave.

- It's very difficult to know whether she knew

quite what she was getting into with him.

I think it would be

madness to think that she wasn't aware

of his...

his bisexuality.

It's such a tricky area, I think,

within a relationship because there's no indication

in Micky's life that he was a bisexual.

To me it seems quite clear that he was a gay man

who fell in love with and married a woman

and had a fantastic marriage.

- He adored Mary, but he wasn't in love with her.

And it was this great conflict for him

that he was in a way repelled by women's bodies

but absolutely was enthralled with Mary's beauty.

So it was a bit of a conflict for him, I think.

The thing that really, really traumatized him

over and over again and we'd talk about it

over and over again, was how he couldn't

make love to her, you see.

And he said she knew how.

And I'd say to Micky, "Micky, that's a great triumph,

"isn't it?"

And he'd sit there weeping, you know.

It was a great, great sadness for him

that she didn't actually turn him on

if you know what I mean.

(birds and insects chirping)

- This is the Enchanted Ground.

This is nice, isn't it?

That was 35 years ago.

(James and Micky chattering)

- [James] Not as many steps.

You're not the only one, Micky.

* Da da dee da da da da da

* Da da dee da da da da da

* Da da dee da da de da

* Da da dee da da

(singing in foreign language)

(sheep bleats)

I've often thought that someone else

might some day feel the way I've felt

and say so after I am dead in words

or phrases I once made.

And now that I've tried to guess which words they'd be

and what the cause, that when at last

the moment came it had not been in any dream.

In the green color bern of hills,

the sand, the surf, and the sky in Wales.

We came upon a little town,

so sky reflecting, taciturn.

So white, expectant, and enchanted,

an airstrip for a magic carpet.

It seemed that all the western myths

had risen from its peaty depths.

Three boat lengths they coil round the shore,

the waterlilies were in flower and the kingcups

thrust their yellow heads

between the blue glass of the reeds.

And looking at that lake I felt a century or two annulled

and other men would one day be as I was.

That and every day with her beside me then and living.

Beside me still.

Though lost, still loving,

still lovely, still beloved, still giving.

The longing tugging at my heart.

It tugged at people in the past

and pointed many unborn people to utter thanks

and be unable.

- [Producer] Do you feel that the other men

were braver than you?

- Yes, I do.

I think they were more...

- [Producer] So, you were shot where?

It's horrible, isn't it, the whole thing.

Tiger?

- The bridge, yes.

- Down there somewhere, wasn't it?

- Yes, I think so.

I'm disorientated, actually.

It was bad enough in the dark on the day. (chuckles)

- I know.

I don't recognize anything.

Do you? - No. (chuckles)

- Except this is staggering, the size of it.

- [Bill] Yeah, I do remember that this

was our primary objective.

- Primary objective, yes.

Oh, my God, just think.

We crashed into this.

It's unbelievable,

isn't it though?

- We got down the scaling ladders

off the side of Campbeltown.

We were carrying these big Bergen rucksacks on our backs

with our explosives in them and then we just

doubled along from where we got off the ship

down to where we saw our winding house, which was there.

All the machinery on the docks,

we had destroyed that completely.

And of course, Campbeltown when it blew up,

that buggered up the whole of the dock gate there.

- It caused absolute mayhem because they were panicked.

They didn't know what was gonna happen next.

- We all think if we had a second destroyer,

if they'd only done that we might

have had a chance of getting back to England.

And then we'd have probably been killed

either at the (mumbles) on D-Day

I should think, wouldn't we?

- Bullets seemed to have a fatal attraction for me,

German bullets. (laughs)

- Not only German bullets.

I've had others, too.

They like me and you.

We had a lot of casualties on this bridge,

a lot of people killed on it.

- It always brings back to me,

you should have done better, Watson.

You know, I wasn't satisfied with my role.

I should've done better.

- [Bill] Balls, you did okay, boy.

- I could've reloaded and done more damage,

but I'm not sure now that I like the idea

of killing other people, you know.

- Go on, you loved it. (laughs)

No, I just think we're all bloody lucky, that's all.

When I think of all the wonderful boys

who were killed on the raid and we're just

so bloody lucky to have been spared.

- What I never want to hear again is people being burned.

- Those wooden MLs with the octane fuel tanks

for the journey back, they just went up like torches.

I mean, the river, you know, was just flaming

and there chaps, if they weren't drowned,

they were burned to death or both, you know.

- People didn't have the resources,

I mean we just didn't have the resources in 1942.

(camera clicks)

- Thank you. - I think we're done.

- (mumbles) men, thank you. - Thank you.

- [Producer] Go ahead, guys.

- [Bill] I don't know about you,

but I'll be glad when this parade's over.

- [James] I think you'd started one for me.

- I did I got, he got one.

- [James] It just said "James"

and then it stopped.

- [James] But you didn't send it.

- [James] (chuckles) Okay.

Okay?

- Yes. - All right.

- [James] All you have to do is click on here, Micky.

- I did that.

- [James] Because the message

is already there.

Um, subject.

- [James] It just takes practice.

(Micky laughing) - Who is this person?

(Micky laughs) - Me?

- [James] Well, that's the plan, Micky.

- Yeah. - That's the plan.

- [James] It's very, very tight.

- It's like a humidor, Micky.

It's very, very tight.

You have to use a knife to...

- [James] I've put it on too tightly, that's what it is.

- [James] Don't hold it

by the top or it will fall off.

Almost.

(Micky laughs)

Micky, you were

a Commando once. - I can't.

(Micky laughing)

- [James] Now, you just push your finger

through that one.

- [James] Go on, just a big stab at it.

- [James] That's all right,

you lose everything else, Micky, so...

- [James] Oh, laughing is good.

(Micky and James laugh)

- [James] That is a good one.

Fill it up

- [Micky] My shadow.

- [James] Now, we'll just leave you in there.

- [Micky] Yeah, that's right.

- [James] We can poke fun.

- [Micky] Oh yes, my goodness.

- [James] They're perfectly ripe, aren't they?

Just be careful.

- Look at that.

I bet I look old and tired and peevish.

(Micky grunts)

- [James] I don't know if I could do that, Micky.

(Micky chuckles) Careful.

(Micky grunts)

That's it, you're out of Colditz now.

(Micky grunting)

(upbeat rock music)

(Micky grunting)

* Shine

* Shine like a revolution, man

* Shine like a river now

* Shine like a revolution, babe

* Shine like a river

* Like a river, man

(sheep bleating)

- It's fairly normal for people to keep

what they would consider to be important documents

in their life.

Micky didn't distinguish.

It starts from the year dot from the time

Micky first appeared and continued to the present day.

He threw nothing away.

Not only did he manage to keep all the, for instance,

the letters that came to him,

somehow he managed to get a hold

of the letters that he had sent to people by and large.

So we have this complete kind of two way archive

of his life and his wife Mary's.

I think he was very concerned about his legacy,

and a great deal of his legacy is tied up

in the files and personal letters.

And to have it simply go into storage

or be thrown out simply wasn't Micky's idea.

He wanted to leave it to people he thought

would make use of it, and in making use of it

they would continue to keep Micky Burn alive.

It was when I was with Micky in the isolation

of North Wales that I began to realize

that he had had contacts with Hitler

and with people like the Mitford sisters.

That he'd been a society person,

that his father had been knighted

and his mother was Lady Burn.

That they'd lived

just across from Buckingham Palace

and that was where his dad went to work every day.

That he knew the king and he had also had

an affair with Guy Burgess.

At that time, in 1990 he wasn't quite so open

about his sexuality, but he later on published

his own autobiography, Turned Toward The Sun,

and essentially came out in that book.

- Was that Spence?

- [James] Not at all.

(rain pattering)

I met him at a party at Cambridge.

I'd left Oxford and

Oh no!

Oh, I remember him, Peter Harkness.

He was in my troop.

I knew him quite well, Burtinshaw.

This is all our lot.

Oh no.

Oh, waste.

Oh oh oh!

(Deborah chattering)

- [Micky] At last, at last.

- What are we to say?

- I know, old fair.

- Have you (mumbles)?

You look exactly like you did 40 or 50, 100 years ago.

- At least 75 years.

- 75 years. (Micky chuckles)

Quite a long time.

- Oh, it's just so nice to see you.

- [Deborah] We can.

- [Deborah] Look out, this is all getting rotten.

- I've got a thing called aid call.

Have you not got one?

- A what?

- Aid call.

- No.

- When the murderer comes in

you press it, hard.

And then telephones ring.

- When I first came to your house,

is there the visitor's book here?

- Yes, we've got it.

- Well, don't worry about it.

- [Deborah] It's on that little table under the lamp.

- What year was it?

- Thank you. - Oh, I must look and see.

- There you are, loud as life.

It's very nice to have your name in the book, 1934.

- Nice for me.

- Oh are you?

- I've just written my memoirs

and it ought to have been called Namedropping

because that's exactly what it is.

- No, no, it is.

But I happened to be among some of the names

that are easily dropped.

I mean, just luck.

But it would have been

quite a long title--

(Micky and Deborah laugh)

- But I'm afraid you will have to stop.

- Bobo Unity, yes.

- Unity.

- But the thing was, to see that Germany,

which was just such a tragic place

with nothing to eat and all that wild inflation

that they had and the utter misery

of having been beaten,

and all of these - Yeah, yeah.

- proud people and then to see it being lifted up

by its socks, you know, and suddenly becoming

sure of itself again.

- Yes.

- I think they were terribly impressed by that.

- Well that's what impressed me, too.

- It would've impressed anybody if you'd seen it.

- I was completely taken by the photo.

- But you know, they go on about Unity

but there were heaps of English girls

who were sent there to learn German.

- Yes.

- She wasn't the only one and they were all

absolutely fascinated.

I think the other thing that people forget

from years afterwards, was how close

the walls were together and how the people

who remembered the 14-18 War,

it's full horror. - Absolutely, yes.

- To think that in less than 20 years

the whole thing was going to begin again

was just unbearable.

- Oh yes, you leave me here for the moment.

I'll get my breath back.

- Yes, sit on the seat and pretend it's comfortable.

You see, this is a rhododendron root.

- Yes, is it?

- And so is the whole of that fence

running up and down there,

it's all dead rhododendron.

- No, no, it's dead.

- Yeah, it is.

- Like everybody else we know.

- (chuckles) Oh no, don't say that.

- They're very shy, these.

Very stupid and very shy.

(chickens clucking)

You stay there, all of you.

(chickens clucking)

Look at the color of these eggs.

- [Micky] Oh, I say.

- Aren't they wonderful?

You don't see-- - My gracious,

I've never seen them like that before.

- They're very good, aren't they?

The arch clergyman is a poultry judge

and I asked him what they need

to be good at the shows, you see.

So he said, he looked at me for ages

and said, "Well, they ought to be egg shaped."

(Micky laughs)

That's all he'd tell me.

- That's very good.

(acoustic guitar music)

(speaking in foreign language)

Oh.

How extraordinary.

I would like to see the courtyard.

The courtyard.

- The giardino?

- Yes, the giardino.

- The garden? - Yes, the courtyard.

- But it's, now it's winter, you know.

You have to take your time.

Come with me. - I want to see it.

- You want to see the garden? - Yeah.

- [Restaurant Owner] Okay, I'll show you the garden.

- Quite different, quite different.

There was a corner where Hitler sat.

In the corner, and I remember it very, very vividly.

I was very, very young.

- Very young.

- Very young.

- But you have to come this way.

You have to look, this is maybe

the corner what you say.

The corner-- - Yes, yes!

That's it.

That's it.

- Do you make some speeches a long time ago.

Already? You.

You self.

- I'm a writer.

- Ah, (speaking in foreign language).

A writer.

- You are (speaking in foreign language), you understand?

- [Producer] And then you spoke to him, though, right?

- Yes.

- [Producer] She was able

to introduce you to him?

- [Producer] And what did you say?

It's all very political (chuckles) in the past.

- [Producer] Do you wanna go see

the rest of the restaurant?

Awful.

(train screeching)

Ah, this it, this is the entrance.

This is it. That's the gate.

This is the way in.

I remember this.

(speaking in foreign language)

Ah!

Fucking place.

Ah!

It has been redone.

Here we are.

- Guten tag. - Guten tag.

(speaking in foreign language)

- Hello, ya.

- Hello, (speaking in foreign language) English?

- Yes, I do.

I'm Renate.

(speaking in foreign language)

- We moved the radio room from there into the museum.

- I see, but can I see the attic?

- We can.

(speaking in foreign language)

(Micky breathing heavily)

- [Regina] Want me to pause

a minute? (speaking in foreign language)

- Oh, the attic.

Oh.

(speaking in foreign language)

Oh.

(speaking in foreign language)

- [Producer] How did you feel when you found the paper?

- Oh!

(drill buzzing)

- [Man] The boys brought lunch.

- Oh, look. (mumbles)

* Bum bum bum bum

* Bum bum bum bum

That was the BBC call.

This is the BBC.

Colditz Castle was surrendered

to the Americans this morning.

Among those missing were 10 hostages

all taken away by the SS whose whereabouts is not known.

That was on the news.

An attempt was made on the life of Herr Hitler today.

The news is not certain of whether he is alive or dead.

The news is very sad tonight, my friends.

I read my shorthand back, President Roosevelt is dead.

I think the host did that probably.

- [Producer] What would you say

as a farewell to the castle?

(bells ringing)

(Micky humming)

(foot tapping)

(birds and insect chirping)

It's the events and pictures of the events.

The intangibles are the things that these represent.

Tell me if I'm going off with the point.

- [James] This all looks tremendously impressive, Micky.

What exactly is it?

- It's meant to be a chronology of the kinds of things

that you're hoping to use for this documentary

of my life beginning at my parents',

with my parents' family bible.

But here, anyhow, is a love letter

almost exactly a hundred years old

from my father to my mother in 1911.

And here am I with my beloved sister, Stella,

from when I was born.

Diplomatic (mumbles) at the time was going around.

This is important.

There was the, the war came to an end.

Yes, I came home and I was met by my father

and mother and my brother.

Where have we got to?

Had a talk with her.

Took here name and address with me into prison camp

and soon after the war I went to see her

and to cut the door short, we fell in love

and I married her.

And finally, the Iron Curtain began to come down

over Budapest across the other side of Europe.

And the (mumbles) decided to send me there

instead of waiting any longer

for the Soviet Union, thank God.

I wrote this book about maladjusted young men.

It became a great success and compulsory reading for...

I wrote this book about her love affair

with Richard Hillary.

I went upstairs in the box room.

She told me about her love affair with Richard Hillary,

the airman who was burned in the Battle of Britain

and thought he was going to drown.

(somber music)

(birds and insects chirping)

Wonderful, isn't it?

Yes, that's right.

It's a good idea.

Oh good.

- I think the thing I'll miss the most,

the thing I do miss the most,

and of course I was lucky enough to have it

all the time in the last months of his life,

was the laughter.

I mean, crying with laughter.

There was a fantastic incident

which he had so hoped he would be able to recreate,

such is the vanity of the man.

"We can recreate this for Greg's film," he said.

I had managed to get him an electric wheelchair

because after his stroke he couldn't walk anymore,

so he went off down the main passage in his house

and into the big room, which was still laid out

as it had been the day he had his stroke

with all the things, which are on your film,

all the stuff about his life,

the photographs of Mary and this sort of wonderful collage,

if you'd like, of his life,

and he said to me, he said, "Nick, move back all the things.

"I'm going to make a circuit of the big table."

And so I pushed everything around and off he set

with this little joystick,

concentrating really, really hard,

and he got round three sides of the table

and he just turned too quickly

and he caught the corner of the table.

Of course it's a series of trestle tables, that table,

not a singular, and he clipped the corner

and the tables just collapsed onto the floor.

This terrible noise and commotion

as they all went bang onto the wooden floor

and everything sort of jiggled around.

And there was the moment, I sort of sat

and looked in horror 'cause I thought

he's going to be so upset that he's done this.

And there was a moment, just a flicker,

or horror across his face and then he started to laugh.

Micky laughed, he actually had tears rolling down his face.

It was just, it was wonderful 'cause he had just,

everybody laughed for such a long time.

It was just one of those moments

you couldn't have recaptured it for the film

because it just was the moment it was.

And he had so many moments of near disaster

but it turned into an absolute joy.

And there were little things like that every day.

There was laughter.

There was always laughter.

- One of the things I learned about the whole of my life

has been that I didn't ask nearly enough questions

of other people.

I was talking about myself so much

and so overwhelmed with interest about myself

that I missed a lot about other people, especially Mary.

And I've had

the experience of being literally a prisoner

in Colditz and other camps and also to be in prison

inside myself from which I've been freed.

I was freed from Colditz, literally,

and I was freed in myself gradually by the way

the fashion was changing,

the way people are talking more openly.

And also I had this wonderful experience with one woman.

Actually, it was two women,

one of whom was a girl who died, and the other was Mary.

And she saw me as somebody to be liberated

from my sexual compressions just as I saw her

as a woman of fashion who wanted to be liberated

from what she called, in a phrase any poet

would be glad of, a prison of soft hands.

- [Producer] If you were to describe yourself

as a person in one word or one phrase,

how would you describe yourself?

- Amateur.

The word originally means lover.

It's to do with am, which is love in Latin.

Amateur in everything I've ever done.

Except in poetry.

Except in poetry.

That's your answer to the question about poetry.

I am not an amateur at poetry.

I am not a professional poet on the other hand,

but in some of the poems I've written

I know I am not an amateur.

This could not be better.

I have that feeling, oh, I couldn't do it any better.

If I were to die now,

which I think of quite often.

I've thought at 97 that I should be able

to help people who are now alive whom I'm fond of

and others I'm not fond of.

The state of the world,

the general state of the world.

That some way or another I would appear

somewhere in some form.

It might even occur to them this is Micky,

just as I think it's Mary.

You see?

And that makes it all alive to me.

It doesn't mean I look forward to it or want it.

The name of this poem is Thine, T-H-I-N-E.

Thine was the chaos, thine was the creating.

Thine was to the clay alone and thine the mating.

Thine was the innocence and the unfolding.

Thine the intransigence and thine the molding.

Thine is the web and thine is the unweaving.

Thine disbelief and thine the green believing.

Thine ages toil and thine a day's undoing.

Thine has been ruined.

Thine was the renewing.

Thine is the intellect and thine the feeling.

Thine the withholding, thine is the revealing.

Thine is the falling off.

Thine the repenting.

Thine was the sentence.

Thine is the relenting.

Thine is the trust and thine is the despairing.

Thine the wild wreck and thine the onward faring.

Thine the indifference and thine the striving.

Thine is as the death and thine is as the surviving.

(upbeat quirky music)