Original subtitles

[suspenseful music]

[wind howling]

[loud whooshing]

[loud rumbling]

[wind howling]

[electric whizzing]

[suspenseful music]

[metal clanging]

[scarf flapping loudly]

- These aren't men were talking about, Admiral.

This is the worst society has to offer.

- I didn't say I knew a better way,

I'm saying it's inhumane.

Look [sighs], sending men to A4 to die...

- [Male Announcer] Code Red.

- I mean shooting them would be more honest.

- Oh, I'm with you there, line them up and cut them down.

- [Male Announcer] Mid-shift system check

commencing 1600 hours dimensional--

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so callous.

- [Female Announcer] Starboard escape pods activated--

- Why do you torture yourself

shuttling around all those hardened criminals

in that deathtrap you call a ship?

But then again you've always been stubborn.

- [Female Announcer] Standard default protocol commencing--

- I'm a pilot, sir, so that's what I do.

- I do have an alternate position available for you.

- Thanks for the offer, but I'm happy where I am.

By the way, congratulations on the Condor Project.

Nine years in orbit charting

and colonizing unknown territory?

Boy, what an ambitious mission.

I'll miss you, sir.

- [Male Announcer] 233rd Space Corps Division,

stand by for debarkation codes commencing 11 seconds.

- I'll be on my way in two weeks.

- [chuckles] Well you see,

maybe we're not so different after all.

- [Male Announcer] Code blue level 16 outgoing shuttle--

- It was nice seeing you again, Admiral.

I've got some cargo waiting for me.

Gotta go. [beeping]

- [Female Announcer] Attention, all crew members

from Centauri, Flight 700, please report to quarantine.

- Cargo.

[dramatic instrumental music]

[man laughs maniacally]

- Transport Bertha Ray, 20 to 50 miles,

1-3 fabric coordinate zero, one, two, niner.

Prisoner transport destination Alpha Four.

Captain Jessie Teegs and co-pilot Mike Wilson.

So, you're on vacation after this run.

- Hallelujah.

- 651 runs.

So how does it feel?

- Like I'm gonna have to have this seat

surgically removed from my ass.

[Teegs laughs]

[chuckles] It's time for the beach, kiddo.

And I'll be thinkin' about you

when and I'm with those Centauri babes,

soakin' up the UVs, ha-ha!

- Must be a guy thing.

[buzzing] - Oh, you know it! [chuckles]

[buzzing]

[beeping] [loud whooshing]

- Come on, baby. [keyboard clacking]

Come to Papa.

New accounts, bingo!

- [Female Announcer] Reading Central Banking Facility

22 Omega D, please enter your digital account number now.

[keyboard clacking]

Thank You, Mr. Riley.

Opening account-- - Arturo Riley.

- [Female Announcer] Benjamin Riley, Lincoln Riley,

Calypso Riley, Duritt Riley.

Please be patient as your neo dollars

are being transferred in the account of Mr. Jack Riley.

Please continue at the tone.

[keyboard clacking]

- Current balance.

- [Female Announcer] Your current balance

is now 3.5 million neo dollars.

- 4.5 million neo dollars.

[suspenseful music]

[beeping]

- [Female Announcer] Your account is now active.

Thank you for your business.

Have a nice day.

[Riley laughs]

- [Riley] Riley, are you good or what?

[loud whooshing]

Oh, yeah!

- Let's play, Riley. - Okay.

- Or would that be Arturo Riley?

- [Riley] Arturo it is!

- [Woman] Or could it be Benjamin Riley?

- Why not?

Let me tell you a secret.

It's also Ferdinand, right?

[group laughs]

Oh, yeah!

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, this is insane!

- Yeah, well,

now it's your turn.

Two's always twice the fun.

- Oh, you know, I have only

ever read about stuff like this happening!

Who would've thought?

- Why don't you let us show you something?

- Oh, yeah.

Go show me.

Show me something.

Please.

Show and tell!

Showtime at the Apollo!

Matinee prices!

Two for one! [laughs] [helicopter rumbles]

[romantic music on radio]

Okay, I'm a little confused right now.

It's my first time.

You're gonna have to walk me through this.

- Mm, you are under arrest.

[chuckles]

- Really?

- Room service!

[guns clicking] Hello!

- Can you prepare my bill?

I'm gonna be checking out a few days early.

- I got it covered.

[suspenseful music]

- I bet your mama's awful proud of you.

[suspenseful music]

- Hey.

Excuse me, stewardess?

Look, I realize that we missed the in-flight movie

and the first-class meal,

which is okay 'cause the chicken tetrazzini

tends to give me a slightly upset stomach

but is there a bathroom on this flight?

- A bathroom? [laughs]

He wants to know if there's a bathroom on the flight!

You're standin' in a bathroom. [chuckles]

Puke!

[laughs] Bathroom!

[laughs]

- I don't know what you're grinnin' at, good time,

you're the one who just pissed his trousers.

[suspenseful music]

- What are you lookin' at?

You like me?

You wanna feel me?

You're really startin' to piss me off.

- Oh, hey, seriously, I got 50,000 neo dollars

for anybody you can give this guy a mint.

Stick of gum, anything!

- Stick of gum! [laughs]

He's funny, he's really funny!

Well, happy funny!

- [chuckles] Funny.

Yo, you ever try stand-up?

- That's good.

- You won't be laughin' long.

- Hey, just keep talkin', Lurch.

Can't do you no good, can't do me no harm.

[hisses]

- Preparing to burn ISO generators for lockdown.

- Affirmative, all systems set.

Activating hyper flight igniters.

Anti-matter reactors are go.

HDS in six,

five,

four. - Hold on

to your seats, children.

- [Wilson] Two, one.

- Looks like we're enteringgood ol' hyperdimensional space.

- [chuckles] Don't you just love it.

Yee-hah! [dramatic orchestral music]

[metal clanging] [gagging]

- Hey, hey, man, move it!

[loud splatting]

[men laughing]

- God, I love this job! [laughs]

Get away from me!

- Oh, this sucks.

[loud rumbling] - You

are

dead!

- Sorry.

[spits loudly]

[loud whooshing]

- Yeah, been to Alpha One, Two and Three.

I'll finally get to visit the big house.

- Is it?

Nobody visits Alpha Four,

Monkey Boy. - Oh, yeah?

You want a bet, Egghead?

- Alpha Four?

[chuckles]

- Only way you leave here

is in a body bag!

- Hey, excuse me.

You sayin' Alpha Four?

- Yeah, he said Alpha Four.

So what?

- Well, there's a mistake!

I'm supposed to go to Alpha One!

- A1. [laughs]

Oh, yeah?

That's a good one.

See, mine is a mistake, too!

See, I'm really a librarian who enjoys the classics.

[laughs] - Not lyin'.

I'm in the wrong place.

- You're serious. - Yeah, I'm serious!

- All right.

Let me call the base. - Good.

Thanks, great, they'll confirm what I'm saying.

- Hold your water, butch.

- [Man On Radio] Open channel, proceed.

[loud thudding] [Riley grunting]

- [chuckles] Stupid.

- Seem to be having a little trouble getting through.

But if you want, I can come back

and we can try again later.

[suspenseful music]

Anybody else have a problem?

[loud thudding] [loud grunting]

[spitting loudly]

You son of a--

[thrilling music] [prisoners yelling]

- [Prisoner] Get him, get him!

- [Prisoner] Don't let go!

Don't let go!

- What the hell's going on back there, Mike?

[thrilling music] - All right!

You got a job to do.

- Just havin' a little fun!

- Too much dessert will spoil your dinner.

- [Prisoner] 'Atta boy!

- That's gonna leave a bruise.

You might wanna ice that, twerp.

[thrilling music]

[buzzing] [metal clanging]

- Next one to move loses a limb of his choice!

- Who gets to choose who loses which limb

'cause I-- [gun clicking]

Okay.

- I'd tear you in two right now

if it weren't for the paperwork.

- Are you in command?

'Cause there's been a mistake, I'm not supposed

to be here at all. - Since when did cargo learn

how to talk?

- Just take a look at my DR, okay?

Please?

Boy, I bet there's some very lucky guy

waitin' at home for you.

I'm A1! - No, you're cargo.

[suspenseful music] [gun clicks]

If this happens again, you're on the report.

- Cute little kid! - The shoes?

Italian.

Calfskin, hand-fed.

- Urine.

Human.

You're standing in it.

[suspenseful music] [loud rumbling]

[loud beeping] [Mike sighing]

- Never thought I'd prefer the air in here.

That stuff out there is so thick--

[loud crashing] [Teegs gasps]

- Alpha Four, this is Bertha Ray.

We've just picked up a body out here.

- Roadkill.

- Request status report.

Come in, Alpha Four.

Do you read me, over.

- [Man On Radio] Just some space garbage.

We have a lock on you, Bertha Ray.

You're clear to land.

- Garbage?

What do you think they make incinerators for?

- [Man On Radio] Hasn't worked for years.

- Man, you guys suck.

- Let's make this quick.

- [Man On Radio] Welcome to no man's space, Bertha Ray.

[loud whooshing] [suspenseful music]

[spaceship whistling]

[wind howling]

- [Prisoner] Damn, it's cold!

It's freezing!

- [Guard] Shut up, knucklehead.

- [Prisoner] Well, give us some clothes, man!

- [Guard] Enough talking!

[buzzing]

- [Wilson] Let's go, let's go.

Everybody back beyond the line!

- [Prisoner] We're behind the damn line!

[gun clicking]

- Deputy Chief Sullivan, sign here for receipt of prisoners.

- It's always a pleasure to see your pretty face.

[suspenseful music]

- Wish I could say the same. - Get in line, you.

[suspenseful music]

- Oh, God, it's lovely coming here.

Renews my faith in humanity.

- Well, you know, humanity ain't that bad, Teegs.

Just gotta get reacquainted with it.

- Don't hold your breath. [Wilson laughs]

You wouldn't believe the line he tried on me back there!

- Hey, what's with the cold here anyway?

- Sub-zero temperature, 24/7.

Three minutes out there and you're intergalactic popsicle.

- Well, can I have my coat back?

- No.

Come on, butthole!

- You know anything about him?

- No, you wanna check the DR?

- No, I hate lists and inmate troublemakers.

Anyway, once we unload them, they're not my problem.

- That's right.

- Give me five minutes to change, okay?

[suspenseful music]

- Alpha Four is a unique step

in the federation prison system.

Inmates not capable of rehabilitation

have the rare opportunity

to work with us on behavior modification research.

Strict confinement is what you can look forward to

during your stay here, gentlemen.

All of your personal belongings will be destroyed

NID implantation is the proven method

to prevent escape.

Remotely activated, you will be biologically terminated,

on an individual or group basis.

At any time or place

and distance, up to 300 kilometers.

Beyond that, there is a safe guard perimeter

of 12 satellites that will automatically activate.

You may notice that there are no bars on your cells.

If in the event--

- If in the event any of you men

try to remove yourself from your cells,

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah! [prisoners laughing]

[metal clanging]

That man is a liar! - Yeah, yeah!

- He's just tryin' to brainwash us!

I've had to heard this speech

927 times! - You said it, brother!

- And nothin' has ever happened!

Never!

Take arms, brother,

[loud buzzing] for today, A4 is ours!

- All right, let's do it!

- [Prisoner] Go for it!

[loud beeping] - See?

[laser charging] This whole NID thing

is a bunch of bull--

[loud whooshing] [prisoner screams]

- Oh, that's cold! [warden laughs]

- And vegetarian meals are, of course, optional.

[buzzing]

Let's go.

[buzzing]

[beeping]

[mechanical whirring] [loud clicking]

[prisoner grunts]

- Mr. A1, what did you do to get in here?

- Everything, all right?

- Don't worry, little man.

It's better than sex.

[loud clicking] [mechanical whirring]

[beeping]

- Oh, come on, A1.

I really must know for your sake.

What was your heinous crime?

Did you kill a man?

Rape or pillage?

Or did you just bite off more than you could chew?

- I faked some bank accounts

and made some early withdrawals, all right?

- Precious lamb.

I tremble for you.

- Now that hurt like a son of a--

- I just tremble for you.

[suspenseful music] [mechanical whirring]

[beeping]

- Move it along!

You're holding up the line and I don't like it!

- Looks like he got something in his tooth, sir.

- Afraid he's gonna bite you to death?

You take care of it!

I've gotta check out something on level four.

- Yes, sir.

[beeping]

- You know, there's been a mistake.

I'm A1, not A4 at all.

I'm not supposed to be here!

I don't know what rank you are or anything,

but if you could check for me--

[gun clicks] - Shut up!

- I don't know about you

but this looks a little funny.

- What's everybody's so uptight about here anyway?

You know, morale is extremely low, everyone's got

their knickers in a twist-- - I said, shut up!

- Hey, watch it! [loud thudding]

- What do you think?

[loud thudding] [suspenseful music]

[beeping]

[loud slapping]

Say ah!

- Ah!

- You stupid ass.

[guard grunts] - Move out of the way!

[guard grunting] Red one!

[thrilling music] [guard grunting]

- I feel right now that I'm [mumbles].

[loud thudding] [prisoners yelling]

[beeping]

- [Prisoner] Come on, man, let's go.

[guards yelling] [guns firing]

[men yelling]

- [Villum] Let the games commence.

[electrical whirring]

- My God!

- The system is down!

The system's down!

Freedom!

[prisoners cheering] - What the hell

is going on here?

- There's a virus, sir, in the computer.

It's damaging all our codes

but it seemed to have another purpose as well.

[thrilling music]

[loud thudding]

- [Villum] Come on, on your feet, soldier.

- [Riley] Stay, stay, stay.

- Mr. A1, are you familiar with the board game chess?

- Yes.

- Good, Mr. A1, and what happens to aggressive pawns

early on in the game?

[stammers]

[chuckles]

The little ones.

They're expendable.

[laser firing loudly] [thrilling music]

- [Riley] Expendable?

Oh, you need a life, I've got my whole life in front of me!

- What a tragedy.

And you would have made such a lovely couple.

- [Riley] Well, I guess we'll never know

now that you've killed him.

- Good answer.

Guns, guns, guns.

Your move, Mr. A1.

[prisoners yelling] [suspenseful music]

- Oh, this is so bad!

[suspenseful music] [loud punching]

[guns firing]

[suspenseful music] [prisoners yelling]

[guns firing] [guards yelling]

Oh, hello, Satan, yes!

The accommodations are just perfect here!

I'm gonna miss you, man.

[suspenseful music]

[prisoners yelling] [metal clanking]

- [Man] Knock it off down there!

[alarm blaring] [men yelling]

- What the hell's going on?

- I don't know, maybe some kind of drill.

- Too good to be true.

[men yelling] [electronic beeping]

[thrilling music] [men yelling]

[guns firing]

- Security, Chief Sullivan.

Request status report.

Do you copy?

[men yelling]

[laser guns firing]

[prisoners cheering] - Go!

[laser guns firing]

[men yelling]

- [Villum] All right, you ready?

[laser guns firing]

- You're lucky.

You're already dead.

- Come on, we gotta go, we gotta go!

We got a schedule to keep!

- I'm on cell level five!

You copy?

[grumbles loudly]

[suspenseful music]

- Did you come all the way downhere just to dance with me?

[laughs]

Do-si-do.

[whimpers fearfully] [suspenseful music]

- Never thought it be like this.

Okay, Riley, okay. [pants heavily]

Oh, my God.

One minute, you wake up, room service,

the next minute, this!

[prisoners chuckling]

[whimpering]

- No violence, I'll take that.

Let me lead.

[prisoners laughing]

[Sullivan yells]

- No!

- Okay, don't wait!

[Riley whimpers]

[suspenseful music]

- Well, look what we got here.

[prisoner yelling] [loud thudding]

- [Larden] Funny boy!

[spitting loudly] [laser gun fires]

Laugh, it's funny!

- [Villum] Talk to the crowd, big boys,

time for some fresh air!

[wind howling]

[suspenseful music]

- There's an alarm in decon, sir.

The whole system's overloading.

We can't hold it together.

- Well, you had better hold it together

as long as you can!

Issue Contingency Red!

Withdraw all officers to security installations.

What about cryo?

- [Computer Tech] All life support systems are down.

They'll be dead in minutes.

[prisoner whimpers] [wind howling]

[suspenseful music] [electricity exploding]

- [Villum] Run for the edge, it's a long way down!

- Okay, we got three minutes!

Three minutes!

- All right, let's just move, I hate the cold!

- Come on, let's go!

[electricity exploding] [suspenseful music]

[metal clanking]

[men groaning]

- They're all dead.

[laser gun fires]

- Get back, Warden!

[electricity exploding]

[electrical noises drown out men talking]

- I'm gonna find my brother while he's still alive!

[electrical noises drown out men talking]

- Not him!

It ain't him!

30 seconds!

[suspenseful music] [electricity exploding]

- I suggest we get inside before your old willy

looks like a sack of buttons.

[laughs]

[suspenseful music]

[electrical noises drown out men talking]

[electrical whirring]

- Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoa!

[electricity exploding]

- [Larden] Wait, hold on!

Stop!

- Larden do his job?

- [Tibuck] Come on, man!

- The design on the chip was beautiful.

- [McMasters] Close the door.

- What?

- Close the door!

[electric whirring]

- He's your brother, he'll freeze out there.

- My half brother.

Half dead, half alive.

- Go ahead, man, I'll catch up with you.

- [Villum] We'll meet you in the armory.

- Hey, hey! [electricity exploding]

- Damn, that's cold.

[suspenseful music]

- Hey!

Hey!

Hey, open the door!

Help me!

Please!

Open the door, please, come on, man!

I did my job!

Come on, it's cold!

Open the door!

Please! [suspenseful music]

- You reach anybody?

- Communication's negative on all levels.

[suspenseful music] [grunting]

Oh, damn!

- Christ!

We better get back to the ship.

Forget everything else.

- What makes you think it's still there?

- You wanna stick around here?

Have you got a better idea?

- No.

Look.

I don't know what we're dealing with out there.

But I think we should split up.

At least that way one of us hasa chance to make it through.

- Right.

Sounds good.

- Look, Teegs.

Be careful.

[dramatic music]

- [Villum] He was on the team.

- [Prisoner] We're free, man, we're free!

- He's all yours. - Yeah!

- We didn't need him anymore.

[grunts] [bones break loudly]

- Just like ridin' a bicycle.

[suspenseful music]

- Daddy's home, baby.

Daddy's home.

[suspenseful music]

[soft beeping]

- Voice activation.

Prepare to launch escape vehicle.

Record log entry.

Main computer down, extreme casualties anticipated,

both inmate and security personnel.

Please send aid with all possible speed!

[suspenseful music]

[loud punching] [grunting]

Launch escape vehicle!

- [Computer] Access denied.

[clapping]

- That was a terrific performance, Warden.

No, really, it really was great!

Wasn't that nice?

- Oh, absolutely.

But look at you, all cleaned up and nowhere to go.

- Don't you know me?

[suspenseful music] - McMasters.

- Very good!

And I think that belongs to me.

- You'll have to kill me first.

- Oh, honey, now.

You're already dead.

- I don't know what you gentlemen are intending,

but no one has ever escaped Alpha Four.

[stammers] Even with the mayday,

it will just buy you a couple of hours.

[Villum laughs] Why not

give yourselves up now and,

I'll appeal for unlimited clemency!

- Clemency?

Clemency.

- Clemency?

That's good!

- I don't know what that means.

[suspenseful music]

May I?

Thank you.

Cut yourself shaving?

Did it hurt?

- I'm telling you, he will kill you all,

he is completely insane!

[loud slapping] Ow!

- Not completely.

[breathes shakily]

But he's still young.

[laughs]

- Please don't hurt me.

I can be of help to you!

I can help you! - He's got all

the help he needs! [suspenseful music]

- Well, there's our pilot!

Is the ship locked down?

- I took care of Teegs, don't worry about her.

Besides, the ship won't fly without this.

[men laughing]

- This looks like we don't need you anymore.

- [sobs] Please don't hurt me.

I beg you!

- He's beggin'. - He's beggin'!

- I beg you! [sobs] - Come on.

Beg some more.

- You're beggin'.

- Please.

[suspenseful music]

- Excuse us one second.

- What do you think?

- Well, what are you hopin' for?

- [McMasters] How about sushi?

- Oh, sashimi!

- [McMasters] Sashimi!

[sword slashing]

[loud screaming] [loud squelching]

[metal clanking]

[suspenseful music]

- Baby girls, baby girls!

[chuckles] You are so beautiful.

Come on, baby, come on.

That's my girl.

- [McMasters] I don't believe this.

This was supposed to be taken care of.

The outer perimeter is still operational.

- [Wilson] I thought you guys had all of this worked out.

- [laughs] Oh, that half brotherof mine is lucky he's dead.

The virus canceled the interior security

but the exterior perimeter is still operational.

- And what does that mean, exactly?

- It means my neck implant will still be operational

when I hit the perimeter.

- Aye!

And I thought this was a wee thing!

Now, you weren't plannin' on leavin' us all behind here,

like you did your dearly departed half brother now were you?

[suspenseful music]

I thought you planned everything

in that genius little head of yours.

[suspenseful music]

- Villum.

Did it ever occur to you

that you might begin to sound

a little ungrateful?

[suspenseful music]

Do you actually think

that I would put all this energy

into a plan and not have a back-up?

- Oh, don't tease me, McMasters.

[suspenseful music]

You had better find us a way outta here.

[suspenseful music] [beeping]

- Hello?

[playful music] Hello?

Anybody here?

[playful music]

You had to rob another bank,

you moron!

[gun clicks]

Looks like it was a hell of a party.

[suspenseful music]

Guns.

[wind howling]

- Welcome to my humble abode!

- Smells like victory.

- Boy, my boy, you did it.

- [Wilson] What is that?

- That is a Mark C-52.

See, just one of these will blow a hole

in the side of a skyscraper the size of a house, my boy.

- Yeah, whatever.

Just don't forget about my cut.

[soft slapping] [suspenseful music]

- [McMasters] Cool it or you'll lose your head!

- All right, man.

[men chuckling softly]

- A cluster used in the proper sequence,

capable of destroying a city.

Or an asteroid planet.

See, before this place was home sweet home,

it used to be a minin' town.

They used to blow holes in it day in and day out.

- That's right.

- Whew.

The militia, fellas,

is my life.

Hey, Wilson!

Time to go to work, my brother.

- All right, let's get outta here.

- You kids go ahead, I'll catch up.

[electric whirring]

- [Teegs] I thought they'd get through to somebody.

[suspenseful music] [soft beeping]

How the hell does this thing work?

- [Wilson] What are you guys planning?

- [Tibuck] So how far we gonna carry these babies?

- How long is it gonna take

for you to orchestrate these charges?

- I can do it as fast as it needs to be done.

Timer's already set.

- We just need a location.

- C'mere.

Now, if you were gonna blow this place up,

where do you think the most vulnerable point could be?

Don't hurt yourself.

Time's up!

You see,

this whole place is powered by a nuclear reactor.

Get it?

Let's go.

- [Tibuck] Man, are you stupid.

[suspenseful music]

- I feel like a kiddie in a candy store.

[gun clicks]

- Interesting.

[grunting]

[yelling]

[laughs]

Okay, I don't know if you realize

what's goin' on here, pops, but I am not the enemy.

[prisoner grunts] [laughing]

Think about it!

That's a knife, I have a gun!

Get that outta my face!

[loud grunting] [thrilling music]

Okay, all right, look.

Let's talk about this for a second, all right?

Because there's no reason for there

to be any hostility between us!

[prisoner laughs]

Oh, man.

[yelling]

I hope that's not rusty 'cause I have not had

a tetanus shot in years!

[yelling]

[grunting]

[Riley breathing heavily]

Oh, that's definitely gonna bruise.

Been great workin' with ya.

[wind howling] [suspenseful music]

[soft beeping] [suspenseful music]

[buzzing] - Reactor door opening.

Temperature L minus 41.

Reactor door sealed.

Reactor core stable.

[suspenseful music]

[soft beeping]

- [Teegs] Got it!

Mayday, mayday, this is Alpha Four.

Can anybody read me? [door creaking]

Dammit, come in!

- You lost, little girl?

- You still a long way from Grandma's house.

[gun exploding]

[glass breaking] [Teegs yelling]

[loud thudding] [grunting]

- Hold it.

- Oh, I need a new job.

[suspenseful music]

- We got a lot of work to do here.

- Well, you know how I despise a dirty house.

Besides, I need the exercise.

- Never underestimate a woman.

- All right.

[thrilling music]

[grunting] [metal clanking]

[suspenseful music] [footsteps clanking]

- Hey, wait, thank God it's you, I--

[loud punching] [Riley yelling]

My nose!

The hell of a second impression you're making.

- And it's what I should've made sooner!

- [Riley] What are you crazy?

Put the gun down, all right?

Just don't point it at me.

- Meow!

- Look out!

[thrilling music] [gun clicks]

[gun firing]

[Villum growls] [thrilling music]

[metal clanking] [Teegs yelling]

[Riley yelling]

- Was that you, A1?

[suspenseful music]

Here, puss!

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!

[suspenseful music]

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

[sword swishing]

[Riley sneezes]

[gun firing] [tank exploding]

[Villum screams] [suspenseful music]

- Kill me quick, that's all I ask!

- I'm not gonna kill you but he will!

[Villum screams]

Come on, help me with this shaft.

- You'll never get it open.

I already tried!

[Teegs grunts] [metal creaking]

I probably loosened that.

[Villum screams]

- It's an airlock or a trash chute.

- Ugh, I guess we can rule out airlock!

Ugh!

- Ladies first?

- [Riley] Not today.

[Riley and Teegs screaming] [thrilling music]

[suspenseful music]

- Whew!

Well done, A1!

Always protect your queen.

You are one dead mother's little helper.

[metal clanks]

- Wilson, what's your status, talk to me.

- [Wilson] Tibuck's in the reactor.

He's layin' the explosives now.

- This little piggy had roast beef,

this little piggy had none.

Now this little piggy killed a lot of people,

just 'cause he wanted to have fun.

[rhythmic dinging]

[playful music] [water dripping faintly]

- [Teegs] Ugh, I'm gonna be sick.

- This'll be the place to do it.

[spits loudly]

We haven't even been introduced.

My friends call me Riley.

Ow!

God, you know, I think you already broke my nose back there.

You know,

it's times like this when I sit and I wonder,

"When was my last hepatitis shot?"

- Oh, stop whining. - I'm not whining!

I'm a pacifist!

- You're a convict!

- No, I'm a thief.

I'm a damn good one.

All I ever sold was a little information that was insured.

Personally, I'm starting to find all this violence

a little unsettling.

- And I'm supposed to buy that boy scout story?

- Look, lady, I don't care what you buy, all right?

I just know that the only way

we're gonna get out of this thing

is if we work together a little bit, all right?

Hey, I saved your life up there, okay?

- You saved my life?

- [scoffs] Look, I don't wanna argue this, okay?

Just let's get back to your ship and get outta here.

- Well, what do you think I've been trying to do?

I'm surprised they haven't taken it.

This must be the slowest escape in history.

- Hey, you know somethin'?

I was thinkin' about that.

If they're still here, they're still here for a reason.

I saw their head honcho,

he's a guy with a very serious mission.

Think his name is...

- McMasters.

- McGillicutty or McDougall or--

- McMasters. - No, no, no.

Wait a minute, I remember.

McMasters.

- Yeah!

He was an inmate locked in cryo.

- Yeah, well, somebody defrosted him.

Oh, and another thing, your buddy Wilson?

He's in on it with 'em.

- What? - How do you even plan

on gettin' off this iceberg, huh?

Hey.

Do I have something stuck in this tooth right here?

[wind howling] [lightning flashes]

- There she is!

Bertha Ray, Bertha Ray!

[thrilling music]

- How you doin' there, fly boy?

- Look, convict, this doesn't concern you.

Come on, move on.

- Oh, no, no, I gotta get off here

and you're gonna help me or else.

- Look, man, move on, all right?

[thrilling music]

[prisoner laughs maniacally]

- Oh, shit!

Hey, is he dead, man?

- He's dead, man! [chuckles]

- You killed him?

- I killed him, man!

He's dead, he's dead, man!

- You killed the pilot! [laughs]

- I killed the pilot, man! - You killed the pilot?

You killed the only pilot?

[bones breaking]

Shit.

[suspenseful music]

[wind howling] [lightning flashes]

- Anyway, as I was saying,

[grunts] McMasters is the worst of the worst.

He worked for 12 years as an undercover detective

on [mumbles] Two and he was dirty from day one.

- Dirty cops, nothin' special.

I knew a guy-- - He was!

The department had been tracking a serial murderer,

a crazy pattern killer.

Only killed off world tourists around holidays.

- Festive. - Yeah, real festive.

Then the computer red flagged him.

Seemed he always took a few days off after each murder.

- So it wasn't R&R?

- No.

To follow the corpses home.

He was packing the bodies full of dope

after they left the coroner's,

killing two birds with one stone.

- Yeah, well, [clears throat], you know,

when you think about the high price of luggage nowadays,

smart guy.

- Yeah.

Yeah, he is real smart.

Used to be a whiz with the gigabytes!

- [scoffs] Excuse me?

- Good on computer?

[scoffs] Funny, in the end, it was a computer

that really got him.

He couldn't stand it that he was nailed by a machine.

Does it sound familiar?

- I don't wanna talk about it.

Where the hell in this prison are we anyway?

- Well, it's a trash chute incinerator.

- Incinerator?

- [scoffs] It's all right, don't worry.

They haven't been functional in years.

[loud rattling]

Whoops.

[thrilling music] [fire blazing]

Riley!

Hold on!

[Riley and Teegs yelling]

- [Riley] Oh, no, hold on!

[Riley and Teegs yelling] [thrilling music]

- [McMasters] Time to make the call.

[suspenseful music]

- [Tibuck] Hey, we got a problem.

- Yes, I know, I can't find a drop of vodka anywhere

on this godforsaken planet.

- You don't understand, we got a problem.

- Well, let's hear it.

- It's Wilson.

He's dead.

- Dead?

- Dead, dead, as in not alive,

dead. - No, no.

That's definitely dead.

Hmm.

We got a problem. [chuckles]

The pilot.

The other pilot.

- Teegs?

- Teegs?

- She's still alive?

- Well, let's just hope I didn't throw the kitty

out in the kitty litter.

I'll shut down the system.

- Go, go help him.

Go, now.

I think I remember that name.

[thrilling music] [Riley and Teegs yelling]

- [Teegs] Riley!

[Riley and Teegs yelling] [fire blazing]

[loud whirring]

[loud rumbling]

- Sir, Alpha Four's com-sat is online.

Receiving now.

- Admiral, what a surprise.

How's the little woman?

- McMasters, I should've known.

All right, what's going on out there?

- Haven't you heard?

I'm the new sheriff in town.

- Enough.

- You know that it's federation policy

not to negotiate with criminals.

- You see, this just isn't any situation.

I got enough C-52 to blow up this whole rock.

Now, if you wanna prevent that from happening,

I suggest you send me a Class A fighter

in the next four hours.

- McMasters.

- I believe that's a check.

[suspenseful music]

It's your move.

- No.

You're goddamn bluffing.

- Sir.

I'm afraid it's not so simple.

- [Lieutenant] What do you mean?

- Before it was a prison, A4 was a mining colony,

mostly producing nitronium ore.

The dispersion of this particular matter

could be disastrous.

According to my data, sir, if that asteroid goes,

it'll leave behind a cloud of radioactive debris

that will fall on Centauri Three,

which has three billion inhabitants.

[suspenseful music] - Christ.

- Do you think McMasters is serious?

- He's serious.

And warped enough to do it.

- Sir, we've been picking up signals all day.

We believe the crew of Bertha Ray are still on A4.

- So they still may be alive?

[suspenseful music]

- [sighs] Cannot affect my decision.

[Riley and Teegs breathing tiredly]

- You okay? - Yeah.

I got sort of sharp pain in my, ugh!

Yeah.

Your flight pin, I found it.

- Oh, keep it as a souvenir.

Come on, let's dig. - Wait, look, look.

There it is.

- [Teegs] Wait!

[door creaking]

Oh!

Well, could be better, could be worse!

- Gotta be better than the last one.

- [Teegs] Ugh, very pleasant!

- [Riley] You know, from this angle,

you remind me of my ex-wife.

[wind howling]

She really broke my heart, obviously.

I've been in therapy for years.

Hold on a second-- - Well, it didn't help much,

did it?

- Wait, wait, wait, wait a sec, wait.

Oh.

Is that you?

- It's your foot.

- Too bad.

All right, let's just take this from the top again.

They definitely came here with a purpose.

They broke out McMasters, and they're not leavin'.

- Yeah. - Why do we care?

- I care because of what McMasters might be planning.

He's perverse and brilliant.

And you care because I care!

- You know, you have beautiful bone structure.

- [sighs] Riley, you made me smile once, it was a fluke.

- I'm sorry, I'm just trying

to connect here. - Just don't push it!

- What is it with you?

Who's pissin' on your parade?

- Nobody!

- Nobody.

So you do have a heart in there after all.

Maybe it's just a little tattered.

Did you love him?

- I married him.

He was a smuggler on the side, small time.

I never knew it until afterwards, of course.

- [Riley] Afterwards?

What happened?

- Oh, a package of T virus.

He was running for some black marketeers,

it split open during a mission.

Killed everyone in 20 minutes.

Passengers, crew.

- [Riley] And him?

- Stupid schmuck.

- Sorry.

- Oh.

Again with the sorrys, Riley?

Come on, let's get moving.

Get to Bertha Ray before they do.

- All right.

So where do you get these pants with all the pockets?

- Just shut up!

[wind howling]

[beeping] I almost feel her!

Once we get past that perimeter,

we can signal the patrol and off we go to freedom!

- Mother--

Shoot!

- What?

- The implant!

My head will explode before we clear the base!

- You got implanted?

- You think they give you a choice?

It's not like they let you decide

if you wanna have a huge needle slammed

into your neck or not.

Go, save yourself, all right?

There's nothing you can do.

Not like there's nobody who can stay here

and help me survive in this hellhole.

- Spare me the [mumbles], Riley!

- Oh, I'm sure I'll be okay.

[Teegs groans] I can probably live off

the decaying carcasses of murdered inmates!

And if I don't make it,

it's not like you stuck the knife in yourself.

- Let's think.

There must be a way around this.

If I could access the main computer station,

then I could probablydeactivate the perimeter field.

- You're diggin' me, don't ya?

- Just shut up.

Let's get a move on the main computer relays.

They're on level four.

[soft clapping] [suspenseful music]

- Touching.

Alluring.

- Hi.

- Amazing.

- No, really, it was

beautiful!

- Shall we hug?

- Definitely.

- [Riley] Oh, boy!

[loud whooshing] - Oh, Riley.

- This is insane!

- Two's always twice the fun.

- Yeah!

[slapping] - Wake up!

We're in trouble!

- That's new.

Ugh!

Couldn't I have just stayed unconscious?

- Not unless death sounds like a pleasant holiday.

- Gotcha.

[metal clanking] [groaning]

- You're the thief, open the lock.

- You know, the term thief,

it's a little too vague nowadays.

See, I don't pick locks.

I'm not a second story man, I'm not a safe cracker,

I steal information.

See, if there are little bits of information

trapped inside a computer, I'd have us out in a minute

but this, it's not my department.

- Perfect, I'm shackled to a thief who can't pick a lock.

- You know what?

Maybe you can fly a big ship, you can shoot a big gun

and you can probably kick my ass but you know somethin'?

It doesn't make you a good person, all right?

You just knock it off with the insults!

I have played straight with you from the very beginning.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe you could do the same with me!

- [growls] Go, tiger.

[Riley and Teegs chuckling]

- Sorry.

Tend to lose it when I'm scared to death.

- That we all.

[dramatic music]

- You think maybe we get a last request?

- Down, tiger.

[suspenseful music] [whirring]

[beeping]

- [Villum] No matter how small,every creature has his day.

- [laughs] 'Attaboy, Admiral.

Then again, you always were caught

between pathetic compassion for others

and that code of honor you live by.

I, on the other hand,

really don't give a damn.

All right.

Here's what I want.

On the ship, I want a top flight crew,

full arsenal and best of all,

I want you, Admiral.

- Never! - Never say never.

[laughs evilly]

- You selfless little bastard.

So all alone and so far from home.

- There she is!

The Condor's the most sophisticated observatory

that's ever been created by man.

- [Villum] And at 10 billion dollars,

certainly the most expensive.

- 11 million, to be exact.

- And how you plannin' on dividin' that three ways?

- We'll work it out.

Tibuck's late.

Go find him.

[dramatic music] [loud rumbling]

- Ransom?

Are they stupid?

They wouldn't even be able to get away.

- Right.

Even with a fast ship, they'll never escape the whole fleet.

- So maybe they're planning something even worse.

You and I are the only ones

who are in a position to find out.

What am I talking about?

Why do I even care?

- You're just a late bloomer.

Everyone has a conscience.

- Even McMasters?

[footsteps thumping]

- Looky here, looky here. [suspenseful music]

Pretty little thing.

Man wants you on deck.

[moaning]

- The pipe is loose [mumbles].

- Look, I'd like to stay and watch the show.

- One...

- Can we make it five?

- But we gots to go.

- I'm kinda diggin' this part of the plan.

- [moans] Two...

- I said now! [gun clicks]

- Three.

[yelling] [metal clanking]

[grunting] [thrilling music]

- Okay.

Get the keys.

- No, you get it.

[groans]

[loud splatting]

[wind howling] [suspenseful music]

- [McMasters On Radio] Villum, have you found him?

- Yes, I found him.

They're not here and Tibuck's dead.

[beeping] - [coughs] Dead?

Can't take me out that easy.

- So you are all right?

What happened?

- Riley [coughs] and Teegs closed on me

with the handcuffs. - Let me see.

You all right? [Tibuck coughs]

- Riley is now mine.

[thrilling music]

[Tibucks gagging] - Don't fight it.

Don't look at me.

Don't!

[suspenseful music]

No hard feelings.

- [Teegs] Stop complaining, Riley.

- [Riley] Oh, man, I gotta find a sink

or a wet nap or somethin'. - Just lick it off

and shut up.

- Okay, Miss Brilliant Ideas, what's the plan?

- Well, we've gotta find out what McMasters is up to.

It's the only way we'll get outta here.

- Well, he's got a bunch of explosives

and I think he's just gonnaplan to blow the whole place up.

- Well, why didn't you tell me that?

- [Riley] You didn't ask.

- [Teegs] Where is it planted?

- Wait a minute, what about my implant?

- Dammit, Riley, talk to me!

- How should I know?

You're the expert, you figure out where--

- Just let me think.

Okay, if it was me...

- Ow!

- If it was me, I would put them

close to the power source.

Of course, the nuclear reactor!

All right, let's see if that will take us there.

- Hey, Sergeant York, wait a second, what about me?

- There won't be any you unlesswe get to the explosives.

- Right.

- [Teegs] Now, come on!

Stop whining.

- I'm not whining.

We're so lost, this whole place looks the same to me.

Who designed this thing-- [gun firing]

How the hell did you know where we are?

[thrilling music] [gun firing]

You're the one with the gun, you get in front!

- Okay!

Don't tell me what to do.

- Fine, just do it!

[gun clicks] [gun fires]

- [Teegs] Look through the hole.

- No, you look through the hole.

- I can't, I have a gun!

- That's a lame excuse.

[thrilling music] [loud thudding]

[grunting] - Riley!

Riley, hold on!

Don't let him get you!

Oh, no!

[cement breaking loudly]

- Well, hello there, Mr. A1.

Welcome to the land of the conscious.

You don't look so good.

You feelin' all right?

Not gonna hurl on me, are you?

Stay with me.

That's it, stay with me.

I liked you.

I really did.

I was even thinkin' to take you with me.

We got a nice little game going

and you had to go and change the rules, didn't you?

I kept you alive, I did what I said I was gonna do.

Isn't it exhilarating to kiss death right on the lips, hm?

- Where's Teegs?

- Well, we captured her.

Your queen is ours.

Now what did George say to Gracie?

- Goodnight?

- Mm, very good, Mr. A1!

Take a short breath.

[loud thudding]

- [McMasters] Deactivate the perimeter field.

Now.

- What about Riley?

- Riley?

Now, who's Riley?

- A1.

- Oh, A1 has a name!

Well, Miss Teegs, we have gone out of our way

to make sure that Mr. Riley's accommodations

are quite comfortable.

If you prefer that I downgrade his situation,

I'd be more than happy to oblige.

[suspenseful music]

- Ow!

The hell?

[coughing]

Come on.

Deep flight pin.

Come on.

Come on, Riley.

Come on, just pretend it's a little mainframe.

Come on!

God?

God, if you get me out ofthis, I will never drink again.

[grunts] Come on.

Help, I can't get boxed!

[grunts] [loud whirring]

[coughs loudly]

[pants heavily]

Wonder where I can get some vodka

out of this godforsaken iceberg.

Martini?

[beeping] [keyboard clacking]

- It's no longer a question of turning off the perimeter.

The problem is to make sure that it stays off

until we're out of range.

- [McMasters] Never say never.

[laughs]

You see, because

when the Admiral comes

I wanna tell him what a good girl you've been.

You know the Admiral, don't you?

Daddy?

- Admiral Teegs has such a lovely ring to it,

don't you think?

[suspenseful music]

- Looks like someone's gonna have to play the hero.

Let's see a show of hands.

[thrilling music]

[metal door clanking]

- Finished.

It just has to power down.

- Condor will be in capture point in 22 minutes.

[beeping] [suspenseful music]

- Right.

We got movement!

Someone's heading for the reactor.

[beeping]

- How can that be?

- [Riley] How you doin', fellas?

Just gettin' a little bit of air. [coughs]

A little claustrophobic in there!

- It seems Mr. Riley did not approve of his accommodations.

- No gun fire in the reactor.

You gotta take him out empty hands.

- Why is it suddenly I feel like your half brother?

What about her?

- Jealous?

- She's doin' the driving, Villum.

We'll be here when you get back.

[suspenseful music]

- Roger than and hope to die.

[footsteps thumping] [whirring]

[beeping] [thrilling music]

[wind howling]

- Hello?

- Reactor door opening. - Anybody home?

- [Computer] Temperature L-40.

[whirring] [buzzing]

Reactor door sealed.

- I hate this.

Okay.

What am I lookin' for?

[suspenseful music]

Now what do we have here?

Now that looks bad.

Okay.

Study computers at home and you're guaranteed

the career of a lifetime.

I definitely watched too much TV.

[suspenseful music] [sword swishing]

'Kay, let's see what else the Easter Bunny has left for us.

Oh, boy, this just gets better and better.

[suspenseful music]

All right.

I knew this was going too smoothly.

All right, red is hot, blue is grounded.

Or blue is hot and red is ground.

[suspenseful music]

Come on.

Come on.

Here we go.

[loud rumbling]

- We'll wait for instructions.

[gun clicking]

- Oh, we'll get her, sir.

- She's gonna be all right, sir.

[loud booming]

[suspenseful music] - Oh, wait, wait, wait!

Wait, look.

We can't go anywhere without this.

You know what this is?

Wilson?

Remember?

- Go to hell.

- [chuckles] Oh, that really hurt.

That one got me.

[Teegs grunts]

[whirring] - Whew, yeah!

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

[wind howling] [suspenseful music]

[thrilling music]

- Oh, man, I don't have time for this!

- Mr. Riley, I believe you already checked.

[sword swishing]

- Hey, it's not fair unlesseverybody's got the same pieces.

- [Villum] Nice catch, Mr. Riley.

[Teegs grunts]

[suspenseful music]

- [Villum] You got less than three minutes, Mr. Riley.

What do you say we get it on?

[sword swishing]

- Great, 'course you got the good sword!

- Your move.

[Riley yelling]

- How did I know you'd go straight for my ass?

- [Villum] What else would you have in mind?

[Riley yelling] [thrilling music]

[swords clashing] [men yelling]

- Why don't you lose the pussy swords

and we'll fight this out like men?

[swords swishing]

[Riley yelling] [thrilling music]

[loud thudding]

- Prepare for pain.

[loud thudding] [grunting]

Now what do you suggest we do, Mr. Ri--

[Riley groans]

- Let's have a little fun!

- That's very good, Mr. Riley.

Do you do mime?

- No.

You got to admit, I got a lot of balls.

[thrilling music]

[Villum yelling]

[loud booming]

- All right.

That's one less problem.

- You hope.

What about the Admiral's battle cruiser?

- The Admiral's battleship is not a problem.

[chuckles] Especially with Daddy's little girl

sittin' next to me here.

I'm gonna use you to secure a Condor Project.

- [Teegs] And Riley?

- Forget the past, Teegs.

He's dead!

- [Riley] Hero stunt's gettin' way out of control! [groans]

[suspenseful music]

[gun clicks]

[loud rumbling]

- I would like some assurance

that you won't detonate the charges

upon your retreat.

- What's the matter, Admiral?

Don't you trust me?

Or

should I say us?

- Jessie? - I'm okay.

Listen, he's got the main controls on him.

If you fire on us, he will detonate the charges.

- Looks like you've raised a very bright

young woman here, Admiral.

- But if you use full fire power

and blow us out of the sky, there's not a thing he can do!

- Bright but impetuous.

[suspenseful music]

[chuckles] So what is it, Admiral?

Huh?

Gonna stay here or you want another hit?

- [Admiral On Radio] What are your instructions?

- [chuckles] That's better.

Just hold your position, I'll get back to you.

[suspenseful music]

Hit it!

[loud rumbling] [dramatic music]

[beeping]

All right!

Intercept with the Condor Project in three minutes.

Looks like all the hard work's gonna pay off.

[suspenseful music] [loud rumbling]

There it is.

- Oh, my God.

You're going to detonate A4 anyway.

- That's right.

You'll learn to appreciate me after a while.

[suspenseful music]

I'm a hell of a crook. [laughs]

[loud thudding] - Riley!

- He's a big son of a bitch, isn't he?

Went down like a ton of bricks, too!

I like that, especially this part right here.

- It's about damn time!

[screaming]

- I understand that you're upset.

I'm not gonna bite you, all right?

Okay, sorry about the gun.

[yelling] [thrilling music]

- Stupid dick. [metal clanging]

- [Teegs] Come on.

Deactivate, come on!

- Come on!

- Wrong move.

[loud thudding] [grunting]

- [Teegs] Riley!

- Lawyer!

- [Teegs] Sorry, Riley.

[fire blazing]

[beeping] - Perimeter ring

is reactivated.

Warning, perimeter ring is reactivated.

- Riley! [electric buzzing]

Yes!

[fire blazing]

- Just making this hard on yourself!

[yelling] [thrilling music]

- [Teegs] Riley!

[metal clanging]

- Give it up!

[yelling]

- [Teegs] Come on, Riley, we have to get to the shuttle!

The Bertha Ray's gonna blow!

- Take us out to maximum holding distance.

Bring all weapon systems to full power.

- Sir?

- Just do it, Lieutenant!

- [Lieutenant] Yes, sir.

[thrilling music]

- I gotta separate the shuttle from Bertha Ray

but do not leave.

Can you deactivate them?

- Deactivate them?

- I reactivated them, my mistake.

- Ugh, I can try.

- Sir, the weapons are engaged and we're prepared to fire.

[suspenseful music]

- How you doin'?

- You're way too good to me.

Nearly there.

[loud rumbling]

The hell was that?

- We're approaching the parameter.

- Almost half done--

[grunting] [rapid beeping]

The implant! [mumbles]

- No!

[loud rumbling]

- [Teegs] Forget the NID, we have to separate the shuttle!

- Perimeter approaching a thousand kilometers!

- I'll pretend to say break affirmative.

Take them out.

- Yes, sir.

- I thought you were allowed to rig mainframes?

- Well, I've gotta keep my day job, okay?

- 10 seconds!

- 900 kilometers! - Dammit, can't do it!

- 800 kilometers!

700 kilometers!

Can you do it? - No!

- That's to break in!

- Get it!

[loud rumbling] Come on, get it!

- I can't! - 600!

- God forgive me.

[yelling] [thrilling music]

- [Riley] Come on, Teegs, you can do it!

- I got it!

I got it!

[loud rumbling]

[Teegs laughs]

- No!

[fire blazing]

[peaceful music]

[laughing] [groaning]

- Wow.

Well, we do work well together.

- Oh, yes we do. [chuckles]

- Now, which one of you cuckoo pigeons

wanted the extra towels?

Oh, A1, nice move. [playful music]

[suspenseful music]