Original subtitles

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

[electronic cat meows]

Hey, Riley, you can quit settin' up for your mystery dinner party now,

'cause I've already solved the mystery.

It's gonna be boring! [laughs]

-What's your problem? -I don't know.

Sometimes people get upset when they're not invited!

Todd, it's a dress-up party.

We spend our time using logic and reasoning

and other big words you wouldn't understand.

There's no food fight involved.

Trust me. A mystery party is not your thing.

Nah, whatever helps ya sleep at night.

Besides, I've got better things to do with my time,

like hangin' out with my new Robo-cat here.

It was named the year's most obnoxious toy by three different magazines!

[Robo-cat meowing]

[thunder rumbles]

That's weird.

I checked the weather yesterday, and they didn't say anything about rain.

Sunny forecast, my foot.

I don't know why they even hire this joker.

Hey, what's the deal with sleet?

I mean, it's not rain. It is not snow. Make up your mind!

Am I right, people?

[honks]

[laughing]

Todd, did you replace the weatherman with a comedian?

Don't judge me.

[doorbell rings]

My guests are here.

Dad, that's your cue!

Dickens the butler is on it.

[clears throat]

[clears throat] May I present the illustrious

tube sock heiress, Mrs. Ostrich

and her companion for the evening, Ivy State University's

preeminent forensics expert, Professor Pomegranate.

Jacobo, Riley invited you to her stupid party?

Yeah, I told her I'm a big fan of the mystery genre.

The twists, the turns, the sordid tales of desperate souls!

Yeah, plus the email said there'd be free snacks.

Next, may I present the world renown zebra surgeon,

Dr. Suki Takahatchi.

Oops! Forgot to put on my costume.

[Robo-cat meowing]

[yells] Aye.

That thing better stay away from me if it knows what's good for it.

I have an array of powerful weapons at my disposal. [grunts]

That was the wrong button, but you get the point!

And, our final guest of the evening is Sir William Wellington,

the wealthy British mallet tycoon.

[thunder rumbles]

-Buzz? -You know he loves acting.

[British accent] I'm here to have a smashing good time!

Smashing! [chuckles]

Good one, old chap. Good one.

Besides, every mystery needs an obvious suspect.

This party better not be lame,

because I'm in the mood to do some smashing!

Now, for our first course this evening, may I offer anyone

a large, overly-ripened watermelon?

Uhh. Very good, sir.

[doorbell rings]

That's weird. I didn't invite anyone else.

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

Hello!

Shelton? What are you doing here?

I overheard you guys talking about the party at school.

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

It happens a lot.

Well, why are you dressed in that ridiculous costume?

-What costume? -[sighs]

Now that our guests have arrived, madame,

I must depart to prepare this evening's mysterious meal...

super-cheesy pizza from Luigi's slightly irregular pizza parlor.

Thank you all for attending this evening's mysterious dinner party.

I'm your host, Vivian Wonderford, the beautiful Hollywood starlet.

Why do you get to be the beautiful Hollywood starlet?

Because it's my game, that's why.

Now, the year is 1951.

Five of high society's most distinguished aristocrats,

-and, for some reason, a space captain... -That's me!

Have gathered for a dinner party.

But there is a malfeasance afoot.

Someone in this very room has committed a heinous crime!

[Robo-cat meowing]

[yells]

[all yelling]

[coughs]

Todd, you're ruining the mood.

I can't shut it off!

It's stuck on the highest level of obnoxiousness!

So are you! Do something!

Fine, I'll look for the manual.

[grunts] Oh, no, you didn't!

Um, it must be short-circuiting.

I'll get a screwdriver to take out the batteries.

[yells]

[Abbey] What happened?

[Riley] Hold on. I'll get a lantern.

[all gasp]

My Robo-cat!

No!

He was my favorite and most obnoxious toy ever.

He had his whole shelf life in front of him.

You... monsters!

[crying]

What's going on?

Somebody smashed Todd's Robo-cat.

And that somebody is in this very room.

[thunder rumbles]

[scoffs] All right, fine.

We'll figure out who smashed Todd's toy,

and then we can get back to my dinner party

and the case of the missing hanky.

Well, I didn't smash Todd's toy.

It was probably one of those guilty-looking guys.

Don't you point your finger at me! I will destroy you!

[all talking at once]

Stop it, everyone! I think it's pretty obvious who smashed my toy.

-What? -That's right.

Buzz has been looking to smash things all night.

No way. It wasn't me.

And I'll smash anyone who says differently.

Wait a minute! Let us not jump to conclusions yet.

-The Robo-cat wasn't smashed by a mallet. -[all gasp]

-It was stepped upon... -[all gasp]

-By someone with size six shoes. -[all gasp]

All right, could we all agree to quit gasping?

I hyperventilate easily.

OK. Let's get to the bottom of this.

-Everyone hand over one of your shoes. -OK.

-Don't look at my sock. -PU.

Let's see here.

Six... Six... Six... Six...

Three? Uh, wait. Who wears a size three?

OK, OK! I admit it! You've discovered my shameful secret!

I have dainty feet.

I only carry this mallet to overcompensate.

[sobbing]

O... K.

Well, that eliminates Buzz as a suspect, unfortunately.

Now, let's think about this logically. Who had a motive?

I remember when everyone arrived, Tasumi recoiled at the sight of Robo-cat.

We all know you hated that cat. You said so in front of everyone!

[all shouting]

No, you misunderstood.

Watch this.

See? Our exoskeletons have the same magnetic polarizations,

so we repel each other.

That's why I told it to stay away from me.

Hey, Riley does that same repelling thing.

Except with boys!

[laughing] Good one, Buzz.

Huh! I rule!

Pizza's here. [burps]

[clears throat] Uh, well, most of it anyway.

What about the butler?

In mystery novels, the butlers always do it.

[whimpers]

Yeah, see that guilty look on his face?

Just fess up now, butler!

OK, OK. I did it. Just, please, stop grilling me.

Dad, you couldn't have done it. You were out getting pizza.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I don't need to sit around here gettin' the third degree.

I'm leaving here with what's left of my dignity.

And a few more slices of pizza.

All right, pizza time!

Not until we find the real culprit.

OK, fine. It was Jacobo. All right, pizza time!

What? Me? I didn't do it! I wasn't even in the room!

I left to get a screwdriver. Uh, remember?

That's right, but where is it, Jacobo? No screwdriver, no alibi.

I'm his alibi.

You see, I was in the garage trying out my new video spy glasses...

and...

Hmm. No screwdriver.

Hello. What have we here?

♪ There was a boy named Jacobo ♪

♪ Everyone thought he was awesome And muy guapo ♪

♪ And his name was Jacobo! ♪

[all laughing]

Hey, at least I have an alibi.

Anyway, there are only two suspects left.

And since we know Shelton couldn't have done it--

Hey, why couldn't I have done it? I can be sinister and evil.

No offense Shelton, but you're too weak to smash a Robo-cat.

Hey, I am not. I'll prove it.

[groaning]

Stand back, folks, and marvel as I smash this mighty egg into pieces.

[grunts]

Aye! Break!

Break or... [groans]

[groans] OK. I didn't smash the Robo-cat.

[all] We know!

Well, I guess that only leaves one suspect.

Abbey! Poor, unassuming Abbey.

Poor? Who are you callin' poor?

Yes! It makes perfect sense.

Before the crime, the Robo-cat spilled grape juice on her dress.

[all shouting]

Wait, guys. Come on! That's not my style.

If I wanted to get back at someone, I wouldn't smash their toy!

I'd just make fun of them behind their backs.

Speaking of which, did you hear about Buzz's small feet?

Hold everything! I have found another clue.

A single strand of red hair.

[all gasp]

Riley! It was almost the perfect crime. Almost.

You'd been planning this party for weeks,

and you couldn't stand that Robo-cat was stealing your thunder.

-[thunder rumbles] -So, when the power went out,

you saw the opportunity to smash the Robo-cat...

-[Robo-cat screeches] -...with your size six shoes.

You spent all night grilling us to cover up your own crime.

Wait! You're jumping to conclusions again!

-I'm a good girl. -Gone bad!

[laughing]

What's so funny?

Riley didn't do it. I did!

That's my hair, suckers! [laughing]

You see, I took the screwdriver from the garage.

That's why Jacobo couldn't find it!

Then, I used it to set the Robo-cat to its highest annoyance setting.

Later, when I left the room to get the manual,

I shut off the power, ran back in, smashed my Robo-cat

and snuck back out before Riley lit her lantern.

-Wait. You smashed your own toy? -Yeah! Take that, Riley!

Now tell me a mystery party is not my thing!

You know what, little brother? I apologize.

I shouldn't have prejudged you. That was a great mystery.

In fact, it was so great,

what do you say we turn out all the lights and smash another one of Todd's toys?!

Yeah!

-Wait! -I'll get the lights!

Uh, I didn't...

-[yells] -[toys breaking]

[Todd groans]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Conrad, this fractions homework is dumb and boring.

I need a teacher who makes math fun.

[Mr. Fleem] Oh, that's a tough one, Todd.

Normally, they just like to sit around listening to math operas. [laughs]

♪ And the square root of nine is...♪

♪ Three! ♪

[rumbling]

I'm on a mission to the center of the earth.

I have a highly attractive assistant. I have a monkey.

All I lack is a nerdy math teacher.

Yes! It's a statistically implausible dream come true!

Wait, I have a classroom full of students depending on me to teach them math.

Don't you get it, Lester?

If we don't stop the earth's core from overheating,

there won't be any students left to teach.

You're 100% correct. Count me in!

[grunting]

[sneezes]

[snorting]

A rodeo clown? Conrad, this is great!

I'm learning fractions better than ever!

[screaming]

There goes a third of the front row.

[bull snorting]

And there goes another five-sixteenths.

[Mr. Fleem] I'm glad you're happy.

Eh, but to tell the truth,

I've been on call 24/7 since I gave you kids your phones.

-I'm bushed. -Mister, what you need is a rodeo clown.

Well, I was thinking more along the lines of a quick vacation,

-so I'm taking the next two days off. -OK.

You realize that means no replacements

-for the next 48 hours? -Sure thing.

Well, great!

-You'll be sure to tell your sister? -I'll tell Riley right away.

You'll tell Riley what?

[man over PA] Attention students,

today's lunch special is beefy pork enchilacos.

Enchilacos! First one there gets to lick the spatula!

[yelling]

[giggles]

Oh, Riley, sewing class rules.

It's not every day you get to make an indestructible cape.

[yells]

Public school titanium!

Hiro Gamazor will have a field day with this!

I call mine the Cape of Good Hope.

Let those who see it wave be soothed by its bright red color.

Yeow! [babbling]

[Tasumi] What's with the math teacher?

[groans]

[yells]

[train whistle blows]

[yells]

[yells]

Mr. Vanderbosh!

Well, well, well. What have we here?

It looks like a runner in the haller. Someone wants a citation.

But, but, but--

[gasps] Are you making fun of this unsightly rip in my pants?

You just bought yourself double detention, missy.

[Todd] I feel bad you have to go to detention, Riley.

[Riley] It's all the way down there?

Uh, I'm sure it's not as bad as it looks.

I don't know. This is so unfair. Maybe I should call Fleemco.

Yeah! I mean, no! I mean, yeah!

That's what I would do.

You're right. It is the coward's way out.

We can't rely on Conrad to solve all our problems.

-Especially this week. -What'd you say?

Oh, th... th... that I am so weak, uh, compared to you.

[sighs] So true.

OK. Here I go.

She'll be OK. It's just detention.

-Heh. Nothin' to worry about. -[panting] Where's Riley?

-I wanted to say goodbye. -What do you mean?

She's going to double detention, right?

Don't you know what that's like?

Deep beneath the earth's crust,

where the sun's warming rays have never penetrated.

Hewn from the very rock itself, lies a pit of despair,

a place where freedom is dead, and humanity--

-OK, OK. You made your point. -Thank you.

I can't let my sister be punished for something I did.

-Exactly. -So I need another fall guy.

-Todd... -Relax, buddy. I wasn't gonna frame you.

But Shelton...

-Todd, your pale attempt at jokes... -What jokes?

Cannot obscure your duty to your sister.

You're right. She's always been there for me.

Todd, this isn't right. Todd, that's dirty politics!

Todd, you're busted.

On second thought, she's on her own. Continue ominous narration, please.

[Jacobo] A place where freedom is dead, and humanity--

[Todd] You did that part already!

-[Jacobo] I did? -[Todd] Yes.

-[Jacobo] Are you sure? -[Todd] Yes!

[Jacobo] Fine. It's a really, really bad place, OK?

[Jacobo narrating] It's a really, really bad place.

[demonic laughter]

OK, people. Those band uniforms aren't gonna clean themselves.

Laundry detail;

I wanna see those brass buttons sparkle like the sun!

[gasps] No wonder bullies hate band kids.

Hard labor in detention. Wait till I tell Principal Cutler.

Yes! [sniffs]

These "My Child Is An Honor Student" bumper stickers are a gold mine!

So, I hereby declare everyone's an honor student!

Only $5.00 each! Tell your parents!

Honor student, huh? [grunts]

Brainiac! [grunts] Oh!

Nerd! [grunts]

[high voice] Oh! Who's smart now, huh?

I gotta get out of here.

Oh, there you are, Ms. Careless Hall Sprinter.

You've got furnace duty.

So grab a shovel and kiss your eyebrows goodbye.

[Todd] But Riley loves her eyebrows!

I wouldn't send my worst enemy to double detention.

This is all my fault.

I gotta get rid of Vanderbosh before it's too late.

Oh, shoot!

Mr. Vanderbosh, I... I'm not serving double detention.

Because this is... unfair. And you're unfair.

And your glasses that match your shoes aren't as hip as you think they are.

You just bought yourself triple detention... in the cage!

[polka music playing]

[gulping]

[panting]

[groans]

[machinery powering down]

[panting]

We'll just see about that.

[growls]

[phone beeping]

-[phone ringing] -[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Mr. Fleem, this is Riley. Mr. Vanderbosh is being totally unfair.

[Mr. Fleem on machine] Hey, hey, hey. Did I get ya?

You're going to have to leave a message at the beep.

Oh, and if this is Riley, I guess Todd forgot to tell you

I'm gonna be out of town for a couple of days.

I hope that's not inconvenient.

-[machine beeps] -Oh, shoot!

Trying to escape, huh?

Did you think that I would be so easily distracted that I wouldn't...

[cell phone rings]

Oh, excuse me. Hello?

[Todd clears throat] Mr. Vanderbosh... [clears throat]

I am an adult calling to say congratulations.

You've won the Pleasant Hill sweepstakes.

-To claim your prize, simply leave-- -Sweepstakes?

I've never entered a sweepstakes in my life.

Oh! Did I say sweepstakes?

Um, why I meant, of course, you've won a... cruise!

Yes, a cruise around the world.

No, I'm not a big fan of cruises. Or the world, for that matter.

That is to say... I'm calling to offer you your dream job!

This is my dream job.

A-ha! You think you're quite the clever Clyde, don't you, prank caller?

Well, you don't fool me. Oh, no. Because I'm taking

the rest of the week off from work to track you down!

You'll never catch me, or my name isn't...

Shelton Klutzberry!

That'll do.

Now to get Riley out of there.

Hands up, hooligans!

Back away from the lady.

I am the guy in charge while Mr. Vanderbosh is gone.

My voice is deep and I'm very tall, so you better do as I say.

First order of business: don't be mean to Riley.

Aw, man. There goes my afternoon.

[Jacobo sneezes]

Hey! How come your stomach just sneezed?

Must be that pit bull I ate for lunch

having an allergic reaction to the rattlesnake I ate for breakfast.

Hey! How come your mustache just vanished and regrew on your forehead?

That does it.

Never have I met a more undisciplined group of interrupters!

Pencils out! I want a 300-word essay on why Todd is a really cool guy.

-[thud] -Ow!

And Jacobo, too.

[all groaning]

Not so fast!

[Jacobo] Vanderbosh!

Your stomach's right. I'm back.

Why? Did you forget your car keys?

[Jacobo] Hello? It's a trap.

Once again, your stomach is correct.

OK. Fine. It's me, Todd Daring, Riley's brother.

It's my fault she's down here, and I was trying to get her out of it.

That was your bull? This was all your fault?

I think I just said that.

So please, sir. I've learned my lesson.

I'm ready to take responsibility for my actions.

Let her go, and take me instead.

Well, I would.

But somebody said some rather mean things about my shoes and glasses!

[Jacobo] You mean that they were out of style before we were born?

Don't listen to my stomach, sir.

He's wrong! They were probably never in style.

-I mean-- -That's enough!

You three have gone too far attacking my hipness.

So, here's the word up on the 4-1-1.

You dudes are getting quadruple detention!

Quadruple detention!

Quadruple detention! Quadruple detention!

[all gasping]

Huh?

Grading my pop quizzes!

You know, this really isn't so bad.

Yeah, well, truth be told,

we kinda shot our bolt on triple detention.

"Why enchilacos are awesome, by Todd Daring."

This definitely deserves an "A!"

[announcer] The Fleemco Company presents: Tasumi on composure.

Composure is about keeping calm, even when things go wrong.

You see, even though I am a highly-trained Gamazor fighting machine

in my day-to-day life,

I'm always sure to keep my emotions in check.

I will destroy you!

How dare you show that clip!

Oh, you are on my list, Fleemco!

I will destroy you! Ai!

Not again. Oh!

I need to start labeling these buttons.

[announcer] This has been Tasumi on composure.