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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,460 [theme song plays] 2 00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:10,325 ♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪ 3 00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:15,747 ♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪ 4 00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:17,134 ♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪ 5 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:18,958 ♪ Got a superspy mom ♪ 6 00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,461 ♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪ 7 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,672 ♪ Replacements ♪ 8 00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,710 ♪ The replacements ♪ 9 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,712 ♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪ 10 00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,792 ♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪ 11 00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:32,205 ♪ And make things bad ♪ 12 00:00:32,291 --> 00:00:33,381 [phone ringing] 13 00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:34,668 [Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco. 14 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,040 Sir, we need a replacement. 15 00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:37,125 And fast. 16 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:40,501 ♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪ 17 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,633 ♪ Modify and rearrange ♪ 18 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,829 ♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪ 19 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,497 ♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪ 20 00:00:44,583 --> 00:00:47,333 ♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪ 21 00:00:47,417 --> 00:00:49,377 ♪ Call in the replacements ♪ 22 00:00:49,458 --> 00:00:51,038 ♪ Replacements ♪ 23 00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:52,825 ♪ Get the replacements ♪ 24 00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:54,577 ♪ Just get the replacements ♪ 25 00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:56,209 ♪ Replacements ♪ 26 00:00:56,291 --> 00:00:58,961 ♪ Get the replacements ♪ 27 00:01:09,041 --> 00:01:12,631 Maybe Mom could be Betsy Ross, and I could be... [exclaims] 28 00:01:12,709 --> 00:01:17,579 Oh! Oh! In the year 1860, I, Florence Nightingale, 29 00:01:17,667 --> 00:01:20,247 founded the nursing profession as we know it! 30 00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:23,923 Say, Riley, aren't you a little old to be playing dress-up? 31 00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:26,881 Said the man in the red, white, and blue jumpsuit. 32 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:28,879 It's for the student-parent talent contest. 33 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,749 I'm doing a presentation on the great women of history. 34 00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:34,334 [Todd snoring] 35 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:39,134 Eww! Sorry, Riley. I'm with Todd on this one. 36 00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:41,788 That sounds as exciting as full-contact chess. 37 00:01:41,875 --> 00:01:43,875 Hey, Daring... 38 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,709 Well, I want to prove to kids that history can be plenty exciting. 39 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,752 And it can, with my help. 40 00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,541 We'll just need a huge special-effects budget, 41 00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:58,915 a motorcycle, and a cool catchphrase: "Nurse this, alien scum!" 42 00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:00,581 [growls] 43 00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:05,289 What? You did say it was a student-parent contest, didn't you? 44 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:09,245 -Yeah, but I was going to ask Mom. -Ohh... 45 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:13,633 If it was OK for you to be my parent talent partner. 46 00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:15,789 Yes! In your face, K! 47 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,245 Well, good luck with that. 48 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:20,043 What are you so smug about? What talent do you have? 49 00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:24,334 Is this your watch? 50 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,290 I mean, quarter? 51 00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:28,995 Oh, please. You just got that magic kit a week ago, 52 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,963 and suddenly you're ready to get up and embarrass yourself 53 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,131 in front of the whole school? 54 00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:35,628 Hey, I can't be any worse than Paddleball Buzz. 55 00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:38,459 Oh, yeah? Care to place a wager on that, doofus? 56 00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:40,292 Either of us wins the talent contest, 57 00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:43,375 the other has to walk across the stage in his underwear! 58 00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:44,378 You're on! 59 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,958 -Ready, son? -Sure thing, Dad! Go! 60 00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:50,753 [yells] 61 00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:55,957 [grunting] 62 00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:01,332 [laughing] Hope you got a clean pair of undies! 63 00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:04,037 -[gulps] Me, too. -That was unexpected. 64 00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:06,125 Well, good luck with that. 65 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:08,628 Mom! Quick! What do you know about magic? 66 00:03:08,709 --> 00:03:11,249 I know magicians never reveal their secrets, 67 00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:14,543 but I have ways of making people reveal secrets. 68 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,875 Don't I, Petrov? 69 00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:21,879 Please! Not the fabric softener! This jacket is "dry clean only!" 70 00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:24,829 I need to come up with a surefire prize-winning magic act, 71 00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:27,787 or at least go shopping for some less-embarrassing underwear. 72 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,825 I suppose I could whip up something 73 00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:32,327 with a few things I have lying about the house. 74 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:41,252 [Agent K] It's the six of hearts! Over! 75 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:45,673 Is your card the six of hearts over? 76 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,330 Goodness! How ever did you know? 77 00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:56,166 For this next trick, I require absolute silence. 78 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:00,421 [Dick] Look out below! 79 00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:03,496 -[groans] -Do you mind? 80 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,627 [Riley] Dad, for the last time, 81 00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:09,329 there were no human cannonballs in Joan of Arc's time. 82 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,747 Really? Well, no wonder they called it "The Dark Ages." 83 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:15,544 Hello! Trying to do a trick here. Ha! 84 00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:17,745 [C.A.R.] How very underwhelming. 85 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,250 You want a crowd pleaser, cut Dick in half. 86 00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:22,583 [chuckles] Fool me once, shame on you. 87 00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:27,957 Perhaps. But for now, would you please crack that egg open, sir? 88 00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:31,829 Ta-da! 89 00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:34,417 -Wait. How did you-- -Good one, Mom! 90 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,960 I'm so proud of you, Todd. 91 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:41,501 Buzz doesn't stand a chance now! We are so going to rock that audience! 92 00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:42,673 Audience? 93 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,830 Of course. It's a student-parent talent show. 94 00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,327 There's going to be a huge audience. 95 00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:50,127 [gasps] Mom? You all right? 96 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,378 But I thought I was just helping you prep. 97 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,498 [stuttering] I don't know what I thought. 98 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,669 I'm sorry, Todd. Something urgent has just come up. 99 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,131 Ta-ta. 100 00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:09,035 But... we were having so much fun. 101 00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,665 Why would she bail on me? 102 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,130 Todd, your mother has crippling stage fright. 103 00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:15,288 I could have told you earlier, but I thought it would be funnier 104 00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,415 to see your dreams crushed in person. 105 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,830 She can face down an army of ninja assassins... 106 00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:25,537 Ow! 107 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:26,915 [C.A.R.] Put her in front of an audience... 108 00:05:29,041 --> 00:05:30,291 she freezes up faster than-- 109 00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:31,625 [Todd] A skinny-dipping Eskimo? 110 00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:36,079 A Siberian swimsuit model? A penguin eating ice cream in a snowstorm? 111 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,170 Ah, more or less. 112 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:42,080 I can't beat Buzz at a student-parent talent contest without a parent. 113 00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:46,497 Come on, Mom. You can overcome a little stage fright. 114 00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:49,423 You're a spy. Danger is your middle name. 115 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:54,580 Actually, my middle name is classified. 116 00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:57,247 Classified? But you told me it was Mildred. 117 00:05:57,333 --> 00:06:01,253 Look, I never liked the limelight. That's why I became a spy. 118 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:05,753 I work in shadow, in secret, where nobody can see me! 119 00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:08,924 Oh, take it from me. Nothing beats the rush of performing. 120 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,080 Being the center of attention, thousands of eyes staring at you, 121 00:06:12,166 --> 00:06:13,996 scrutinizing your every move. 122 00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:17,673 -No! You'll never take me alive! -[grunts] 123 00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:22,962 This is going to take some work. 124 00:06:23,041 --> 00:06:25,751 Yeah! What do we have, like, three holes in the roof? 125 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,963 [Riley] They say the best way to overcome stage fright 126 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,213 is just to picture the audience in their underwear. 127 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:32,125 [shivering] 128 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:33,958 So, do you feel frightened? 129 00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,210 Yes, and more than a little uncomfortable. 130 00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:39,381 What is Shelton doing here? 131 00:06:39,458 --> 00:06:40,748 [whispering] We don't know. 132 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,174 Hello! 133 00:06:42,917 --> 00:06:45,497 Mom, I've got it! What if you can't see or hear the audience? 134 00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:47,003 Mom? 135 00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:49,213 [beeping] 136 00:06:49,291 --> 00:06:53,751 Dear Todd, I've been called away on an emergency top-secret mission. 137 00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:56,674 I'm sorry I failed you, and I'll understand 138 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,920 if you decide to call Fleemco and replace me for the show. 139 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,250 Love, Mom. 140 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,790 [phone beeping] 141 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:20,455 I surrender, to your applause! 142 00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:22,752 -[cough] -[one person clapping] 143 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:25,174 Todd, shouldn't you be in your magician's costume? 144 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:28,330 What's the point? It's not the same without Mom. 145 00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:31,077 Besides, her replacement still hasn't shown. 146 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,753 Oh, hey! You're in luck, son. 147 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:38,924 That's Carlotta, the famous magician's assistant from "Carlos & Carlotta." 148 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,001 OK, Carlotta, we don't have a lot of time, 149 00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:42,503 so I'll have to talk you through the act. 150 00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:44,753 Do you know the sarcophagus egg metamorphosis? 151 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,251 It's just too bad she doesn't speak a lick of English. 152 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,213 [sighs] Oh. 153 00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:53,421 In the year 31 BC, I, Cleopatra, queen of ancient Egypt, 154 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,710 awaited the return of Mark Antony, 155 00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:58,922 his troops badly defeated in the Battle of Actium. 156 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,830 [Dick] Look out, Cleo! 157 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,420 [crowd cheering] 158 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:11,036 Stay in school! 159 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,539 [groans] 160 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:19,877 -Ta-da! -Ta-da! 161 00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:24,999 Let's give it up for the Wonderful World of Winters. Yes, yes. 162 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,383 It's about time somebody showed some real talent. 163 00:08:27,458 --> 00:08:29,748 Ay! I'm doing the best I can! 164 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:32,668 We just put the "win" in "Winters." 165 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,130 [laughing] Good one, Dad. 166 00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:38,578 I think we all know who has this contest locked up, 167 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:42,417 but we still have one last act to suffer thr... enjoy! 168 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,960 Let's hear it for the daring, amazing... 169 00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:49,581 Sorry, the Amazing Daring's! 170 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,577 That's our cue. Wear this. 171 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,041 Here goes nothing. 172 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:01,884 [audience exclaims] 173 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,579 Get off! Get off! Get off! Get off... 174 00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:18,205 So long, mummy! 175 00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:21,037 [audience exclaims] 176 00:09:26,625 --> 00:09:29,125 [cheering and whistling] 177 00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:30,878 It is no contest! 178 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:33,749 The Daring Amazing's win first prize! 179 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:37,214 Way to go, Mom. I mean, Carlotta. 180 00:09:37,417 --> 00:09:39,577 I mean, uh, Mom. 181 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:42,290 High five! [grunts] 182 00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:44,415 Oh, right. No English. 183 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,330 [man] You should be very proud of your son, Mrs. Daring. 184 00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,787 Yeah, Mrs. Daring should be. 185 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:55,000 I'm sorry, but I can't accept this prize. This isn't my mom. 186 00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:57,673 She's a professional magician's assistant. 187 00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:58,880 [crowd gasps] 188 00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:00,669 Hey, so am I! 189 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:09,325 I know you can't understand what I'm saying, and I'm glad we won, 190 00:10:09,417 --> 00:10:12,077 but it's not the same without my mom. 191 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:16,916 She just made everything cooler, especially when she told me-- 192 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,380 -[Agent K] Todd, I am really proud of you. -Mom? 193 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:24,995 I couldn't face an audience as myself, so I had to do it undercover. 194 00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:29,707 So where's the real Carlotta? 195 00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:31,002 Well... 196 00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:32,793 [Petrov laughing] This is what you get 197 00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:36,205 for ruining my favorite jacket, Agent K! [laughs] 198 00:10:36,291 --> 00:10:38,751 Looks like we deserved to win that trophy after all. 199 00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:40,214 [Buzz] Too late, doofus! 200 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,331 It's all mine! 201 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:43,167 You've been stripped of your prize! 202 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:45,130 And speaking of stripped... 203 00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:47,128 You'll have to catch me first! 204 00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,038 [both panting] 205 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,923 [Buzz indistinct] ...underwear. 206 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,130 Ta-da! 207 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,998 [audience laughing] 208 00:11:01,583 --> 00:11:03,833 I'll pay for that with a lifetime of wedgies, 209 00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:05,577 but it was worth it! 210 00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,457 [laughing] 211 00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:20,745 [Ace Palmero] Welcome back to Ace Palmero's coverage 212 00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:24,584 of the 137th annual Pleasant Hills Kumquat Day Parade. 213 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:28,077 This promises to be the most romantic Kumquat Day ever. 214 00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:30,376 Here's a float celebrating the founder of Pleasant Hills, 215 00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:32,378 Ezekiel T. Pleasantworth. 216 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:34,421 [all laughing] 217 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:38,960 And look at this, two lovebirds getting married on Kumquat Day. 218 00:11:39,041 --> 00:11:41,381 [choking up] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. 219 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:45,288 Ace Palmero told himself he wouldn't cry. 220 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,383 And look at this lovely lady. 221 00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:52,998 Pleasant Hills, say hello to your new Kumquat Queen! 222 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:57,133 When I become Kumquat Queen, I'm going to have a crown twice that big. 223 00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:59,628 -It still won't fit your big head. -What?! 224 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,919 I said, "Did you get your Kumquat Day cards yet?" 225 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,290 I did. I made this card for Johnny myself. 226 00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:09,165 "To my dearest Johnny, 227 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,920 you are the love of my life and the air that I breathe. 228 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:18,330 plus, you're really good at baseball. I hope our love can one day blossom 229 00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:21,167 like the flowers of the mighty kumquat tree. 230 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,830 Love, the future Mrs. Riley Hitswell." 231 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,457 What? Too subtle? 232 00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:28,042 Riley! You cannot send that card to Johnny. 233 00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:31,375 -You'll scare him off. -Yeah. Mushy, heartfelt sentiments? 234 00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,418 Perfume-scenting? Glitter? 235 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,420 This card totally reeks of thought and effort. 236 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,250 You must be coy, like this. 237 00:12:39,417 --> 00:12:41,997 -But it's in Japanese. -Exactly. 238 00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:45,003 It's that kind of mystique that makes me a boy magnet. 239 00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:48,383 [giggles] Well, that and my boy magnet. 240 00:12:48,917 --> 00:12:51,577 If you think that's coy, check this out. 241 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,250 -Whoa! -Whoa! 242 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,543 Wow. I did not realize how bad that could have been. 243 00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:58,785 You guys really saved me. 244 00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:00,825 Where would you be without us? 245 00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:03,246 Come on. Let's get you a new card. 246 00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:09,211 Well, it took six hours, but we finally found a card that looks like 247 00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,831 we didn't spend any time looking for it at all. 248 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,249 "I find you a-peel-ing." 249 00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,133 Way better than your first card. 250 00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:18,578 Hey, where is my first card? 251 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:19,497 [dinging] 252 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:22,003 Dad, have you seen that big Kumquat Day card I left on the table? 253 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:25,083 Sure. I took it to the post office with the rest of our cards. 254 00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:26,576 Care for a candied kumquat? 255 00:13:26,667 --> 00:13:29,997 -What?! Dad, how could you?! -What? 256 00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:31,833 They're a delicious Kumquat Day tradition. 257 00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:34,077 No! That card was never supposed to go out! 258 00:13:34,166 --> 00:13:35,996 I mean, I didn't even put an address on it. 259 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:39,583 Oh, I took care of that, Mrs. Hitswell. 260 00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:40,917 [gasps] Todd! 261 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,830 If Johnny reads that card, my love life will be ruined! 262 00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:49,327 Hey, everybody, Riley Daring just professed her love for me 263 00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:52,247 in this totally desperate handmade card! 264 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,883 She even signed it, "The future Mrs. Riley Hitswell!" 265 00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:57,959 Let's all point and laugh at her! 266 00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,131 [all laughing] 267 00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:02,208 Hello. I'm the president, and I hereby declare 268 00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:06,671 this holiday be renamed Riley is a Desperate Lame-o Day! 269 00:14:06,750 --> 00:14:09,210 [all laughing] 270 00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:11,543 Oh! 271 00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:13,875 Girl, you better find that card. 272 00:14:22,125 --> 00:14:25,915 [shuddering] So much mail! It just keeps coming and coming! 273 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,130 [slurping] 274 00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:30,418 Excuse me, sir. My dad sent out one of my Kumquat Day cards by mistake, 275 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,920 and I really need it back. 276 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,130 Oh, and, uh, you want me to sort through all this mail to find it for you? 277 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,748 -Yes, please. -Dream on! 278 00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:43,334 It is Kumquat Day, little missy! Our busiest mail holiday of the year! 279 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,753 Well, can I go back there and look for it myself? 280 00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,504 Excuse me. Are you a trained mail handler? 281 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,753 Did you spend four-and-a-half weeks earning a correspondence degree 282 00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:54,174 from the postal academy, only to have your diploma lost in the mail? 283 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:57,460 No! I don't think so! That is against federal law! 284 00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:58,962 -But I-- -Oops! 285 00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,081 Your 15.6 seconds of customer service have been exceeded. 286 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,076 Thank you for choosing the Pleasant Hills Post Office. 287 00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,456 Have a nice day. 288 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,285 [phone beeping] 289 00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:10,580 [phone ringing] 290 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,287 [Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco. 291 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:15,825 Sir, I need to replace the high-strung guy at the post office as soon as possible. 292 00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:17,537 Just find me someone that's really laid-back. 293 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,625 [Mr. Fleem] Well, this is awfully short notice, but I'll do the best I can. 294 00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:26,039 Congratulations, sir, for your many years of exemplary work at the post office. 295 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,745 I get this huge check? 296 00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:32,254 Oh, gracious no, but you have been chosen to deliver it to the winners 297 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,423 of the Pleasant Hills Kumquat Sweepstakes. 298 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,540 What an honor! 299 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:42,788 [Riley] Wow! Look at how much mail is piled up. That's a good sign. 300 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:46,285 A sloth? That's about as laidback as you can get. 301 00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:48,825 Excuse me. Would you mind if I look through the mail bins? 302 00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:58,173 [Riley] Not it, not it, not it. Ooh! 303 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:01,250 Unicorns Illustrated? Why don't I get that? 304 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:04,383 Focus. Not it, not it, not it. Ooh! 305 00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:07,958 [sighs] It's going to take forever to find my card! 306 00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,831 [engine starting] 307 00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:13,787 Wait a minute, Mr. Post Person! Darn! 308 00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:15,575 Johnny's house! 309 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,289 [whistling] 310 00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:28,834 [Riley and Johnny grunting] 311 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:31,458 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 312 00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:34,132 [humming casually] 313 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:35,748 Oh! Hey, Johnny. 314 00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:38,964 Funny bumping into you here. [chuckles] 315 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,881 No, it's not. I live here. 316 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,498 Hey, is that a sloth? 317 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,633 [growls] 318 00:16:53,709 --> 00:16:56,629 [students chatter] 319 00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:59,669 Students, quiet down and take your seats for the assembly. 320 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,420 Why are we outside? It's hot out here! 321 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,920 Because this is where Ezekiel T. Pleasantworth 322 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,420 planted our city's first kumquat tree, which as we all know, 323 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:12,330 I had cut down so we could build that money-making concession stand. 324 00:17:12,417 --> 00:17:13,917 [slurping] 325 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,960 Now, enjoy the first Kumquat Day! 326 00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:20,827 Oh, woe is me! 327 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,997 There's no room in this booming eastern metropolis 328 00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:26,793 for a lowly boot cobbler like myself. 329 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:32,245 Then let us head west, Ezekiel, and start our own utopia. 330 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:38,043 Yes! We shall start our own city, a city where pigs must wear undergarments. 331 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,535 Todd, I need to get my card from Johnny's math book. 332 00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,285 Can you cause some sort of distraction? 333 00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:45,995 Was already planning on doing that, but if it's to help you, forget it! 334 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,173 Fine. I'll give you my pizza square lunch. 335 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,080 Deal. 336 00:17:49,166 --> 00:17:51,706 I am planting our last kumquat in the earth, 337 00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:54,632 so that one day it may grow into a mighty orchard 338 00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,789 for future generations to enjoy. 339 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,625 You crazy dreamer. 340 00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:02,419 Hey, everybody! Here's what I think of your kumquats! 341 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,250 [grunting] 342 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,293 [audience booing] 343 00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:09,332 Even I think that crosses the line. 344 00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:12,535 [booing continues] 345 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,455 Don't worry. I was just planting this kumquat 346 00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:18,252 for future generations to enjoy. 347 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,543 What an inspiring distraction. 348 00:18:20,625 --> 00:18:22,955 [crowd cheering] 349 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:27,167 [gasping] Where's my card? 350 00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:29,790 Sorry, ladies. I'll open all your cards at noon. 351 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,665 [all sighing] 352 00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:35,961 [all giggling] 353 00:18:38,834 --> 00:18:40,544 [whimpering] 354 00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:50,458 Hey! 355 00:18:51,750 --> 00:18:55,830 Ooh, K, are you ready for your Kumquat Day gift? 356 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:56,747 Certainly, darling. 357 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:59,964 It's a photo from our camping trip. I made the frame myself. 358 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:03,081 I used real macaroni and two kinds of glitter. 359 00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:05,792 Oh, Dick it's perfect. 360 00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:07,785 Yes, much better than my gift. 361 00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,665 Yours is nice, too, C.A.R. 362 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:12,630 Nice? Six weeks of hard labor and that's what I get? 363 00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,499 -Nice? -Mom, Mom! 364 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:15,713 There's a totally embarrassing card of mine 365 00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:18,542 in Johnny's locker that he's going to open in... 42 minutes! 366 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,035 Can I borrow your spy gadgets to pry open the lock and get it back? 367 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,995 Riley! That behavior is totally unacceptable! 368 00:19:24,709 --> 00:19:28,249 Prying open the lock could get us caught. We must come up with a real plan. 369 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,633 [beep] 370 00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:36,707 [Agent K] Now, remember, your code name for this operation is "Blue Cobra." 371 00:19:36,792 --> 00:19:39,042 Oh, can I be "Blue Pony" instead? 372 00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:42,375 [C.A.R.] Oh, Todd, that's something I'd expect Riley to say. 373 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:45,540 -[Riley] Hey! I am Riley! -[C.A.R.] Must be the hat. 374 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,790 [man] Hmm. What's on the school lunch menu today? 375 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:02,825 Half bologna sandwich, lima beans, and mystery pudding. 376 00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:05,787 That sounds perfect... for the students! 377 00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:08,035 [laughing maniacally] 378 00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,035 Focus on the mission, dear. 379 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,000 My spy watch says we've only got one minute left! 380 00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:18,463 My spy watch says we've got plenty of time. 381 00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,883 [gasps] I think I see my card! 382 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:25,827 [gasps] 383 00:20:31,959 --> 00:20:34,039 [gasps] It's too late! He's got all of his cards! 384 00:20:34,125 --> 00:20:35,495 I got to stop him! 385 00:20:36,709 --> 00:20:38,579 Got to find Johnny. Got to find Johnny. 386 00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:41,827 [coughing] Uh, don't they ever clean these vents? 387 00:20:41,917 --> 00:20:42,957 Uh-oh. 388 00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,921 "Orange you glad I didn't say kumquat?" 389 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,790 [chuckles] Thanks, Claudia. 390 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,330 Whoa. This one's different. 391 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,957 [Riley coughing] I can't see a thing... 392 00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:54,961 [yelling] 393 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:58,583 Weird. That's the second sloth I've seen today. 394 00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:03,535 OK. Let's see who's next. Riley. 395 00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:06,075 "I find you a-peel-ing." 396 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:07,666 I don't get it. 397 00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:12,331 Hey, Johnny! Open my card! 398 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:16,420 "To my sweetest Johnny, you are my everything. 399 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:19,580 You are the light of my life and the air in my inhaler. 400 00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,917 Even though you like sports and I like science, 401 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,920 I know in my heart we belong together like kumquats and armadillos." 402 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,500 [girls snickering] 403 00:21:27,583 --> 00:21:28,633 And she signed it, 404 00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:31,999 "Love, the future Mrs. Shelley Hitswell." 405 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:37,963 Oh, man, that is so desperate-ly precious. 406 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,250 Come on, Shelley. Let's go share a pizza square. 407 00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,713 [inhales] Neat-o! 408 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,380 Huh. I guess that card didn't work. 409 00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:51,458 You know what? Maybe you should have just gone with your first card. 410 00:21:51,542 --> 00:21:54,882 [Tasumi scoffs] Yeah, Riley. Why'd you ever change? 411 00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:56,749 -[yelling] -[steam whistle blows] 412 00:21:56,875 --> 00:22:00,035 [all] Happy Kumquat Day! 413 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:05,670 [announcer] The Fleemco Company presents: Ace Palmero on attentiveness. 414 00:22:05,750 --> 00:22:08,790 As anchor of the fourth-highest-rated news program in Pleasant Hills, 415 00:22:08,875 --> 00:22:12,875 I, Ace Palmero, have learned that attentiveness is of the utmost importance. 416 00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:15,329 Turn to camera one. In a high-pressure job like mine, 417 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,577 you also have to keep on your toes. 418 00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,287 Put hand in pocket and smile at camera two. 419 00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:20,455 If you're not attentive, you'll miss important details. 420 00:22:20,542 --> 00:22:23,332 You idiot, Ace. Get someone else to do your stupid cue cards. 421 00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:29,673 [announcer] This has been Ace Palmero on attentiveness. 33095

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