Original subtitles

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

[Todd] They said it wouldn't work.

They said he was crazy, but now as Todd Daring

stares down his final putt in the indoor broom golf championships,

what do they say?

M-m-m-miss it. I need this victory to stay on the tour.

Silence in the gallery!

-[Riley giggling] -Huh?

[grunting]

-Huh? Uh! Ah! -Riley!

[gulp] Huh! Golf balls have chocolate centers?

Who knew? Victory is so sweet!

-[Riley laughing] -I hope there's a good reason

I had to give Dad my broom golf championship belt

for the next two weeks!

Whatevs, Todd? TTFN.

The sooner you start speaking English, the sooner I can mock you!

This is Fleemster, noobie.

It's an internet networking site

created by a strange mystical recluse known as PuterDude13.

[PuterDude13] Welcome back to Fleemster, PrincessRiley103.

What's so cool about that?

Just everything! I've met tons of cool new people

who like ponies and candy

and exhibit slightly above average academic performance just like me.

Wait. I thought you said cool new people.

LOL. That's laugh out loud, noob.

Look! There's Tasumi and Abbey.

That's just the three of you at school. How's that cool?

Because it's virtual. Duh!

I'm a princess, see?

You can be anything you want.

TTYL.

Well, you can TGIF my BBQ!

[computer voice] Todd, anything you want.

-What was-- -Huh?

Never mind.

Hey, what do you guys know about Fleemster?

I'm in a Star Journey's group on Fleemster.

You can only join if you can answer this question:

What alien race mistakenly attacked the earth in

Star Journey Seven: Rocks Revenge?

The answer--

Fleemster's all right, but people get too dependent on technology

for simple recreational pursuits.

[beeping]

Another hole in one!

[computer voice] Todd!

Oh, hey, guys, I, uh... I left a pie in the washing machine.

[chuckles] Got to go.

Just gonna check it out. Let's see, www.Fleemster.com.

[computer voice] Welcome. You must have your parents' permission to use Fleemster.

Dad, can I use my computer to go on Fleemster.com?

Anything you want, second place.

All right. "create screen-name."

T-O-D-D. Wait... Awesome T-O-D-D.

[computer voice] Welcome to Fleemster, AwesomeTodd.

Awesome!

Muscle mass: 95%. Awesomeness: 100%.

This is like looking in a mirror.

[computer voice] You have 18 new friend requests.

People, please, I'm only one virtual man.

So many Fleem friends, so little time. Ha.

[Agent K] Todd, dinner!

-[rooster crowing] -[Agent K] Todd, breakfast!

-[horns blowing] -[Agent K] Todd, your birthday!

[gasps] Todd, a burrito truck crashed outside

spilling its precious cargo everywhere.

[crashing]

Oh, a huge guacamole tanker

jack-knifed in the street trying to avoid it!

What are the odds?!

Look! You just turn your head slightly to look out the window.

Every man for himself!

Oh, my word! Such filth!

-When was the last time you were outside? -Don't judge me.

[groans]

Come on, right now, young man. I want you to get some fresh air.

OK, OK. I'll go outside. Just let me get a few things.

Have you seen that 1,000-foot extension cord anywhere?

[grunting]

[groans]

You and that computer.

That is quite enough! I call a Daring family intervention!

Ooh!

[brays]

What happened, K? Riley's back on the chocolate, isn't she?

Why can't you stay away?!

It's not me. It's Todd. He's addicted to the internet.

All right. I guess we know what has to be done.

Dick, get me Dr. Hypno's hypno helmet of hypnotism.

You got it, honey. What does it do?

Mom, you can't brainwash Todd to quit using the internet.

You need to teach him not to overdo it.

You broke my hypno helmet, didn't you?

Yes, but I'm still right.

Whoa. Hey, guys, I really appreciate this,

but I recognize my addiction and I will seek help.

Now, if you'll all just give me your email addresses--

That's it. Dick, I am putting our foot down.

No internet for two weeks!

Wait! Can't we talk about this?! In a chat room!

Oh, sleep easy, Todd.

You'll thank us for this one day.

I can thank you for it right now. Let me send you an e-card.

Ah, good night, son.

[groaning]

[mumbling]

OK, fine. I'll count sheep.

[sheep bleating]

Todd.

Todd.

Todd!

Todd!

It's you, the mysterious voice. You're a sheep?

Give me a break. No.

I'm your subconscious desire to go on the internet.

Now, quit lying there and do what we both know you want to do.

Find a computer to use!

Ohh! All right. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Get me on the computer.

I've got to update my Fleemster profile.

Fleemster? Ha! You're not allowed to use these computers for that.

Oh. I get it. These computers are for research only?

Yes. But more importantly, I have blocked all Fleemster access

ever since I got into a heated flame war with Ace Palmero.

I shall never grace them with a website hit again...

until they invite me back.

Now, men, flame on!

I don't even know why I try to solve my own problems.

[Mr. Fleem] Hello. Fleemco.

Conrad, I need to replace the IT guy in the library's computer lab

with someone who'll let me use the computers for Fleemster.

[Mr. Fleem] OK, Todd, I'll see what I can do.

See what you can do?! Don't play games with me, old man!

[Mr. Fleem] Todd, are you OK?

I don't have a problem. You've got the problem!

The president doesn't know how to defrag his own hard drive? Doy!

[gasps]

Don't think I don't know what you've done.

[babbling]

You've made it three days with no internet.

I am so proud that you're breaking the cycle.

Yeah. Well, I found other things to fill the void.

[laughs] The library has a shuffleboard game.

Good show, Todd!

-Ooh! -Hmm.

Aw, sweet.

[PuterDude13] PuterDude13 here, your new IT guy.

[Todd] The PuterDude, the inventor of Fleemster?

Awesome.

[PuterDude13] Welcome to Fleemster, AwesomeTodd.

Ahh! [laughs]

[knuckles cracking]

Hey, AwesomeTodd.

Looking good, AT.

Todd, indoor broom golf championship challenge.

My house, after school. Jacobo.

-[monkey screeches] -[woman] Hey, AwesomeTodd.

Click the monkey and win a stereo system.

[Todd] Awesome!

[woman] Todd, the honorable Prince Manuko of Nigeria

needs to send you millions of dollars.

You bet, guys. I'm all over it.

Yes! This is awesome!

Virtual, virtual Fleemster.

I'm in virtual computer heaven. I'm set for life!

[Riley] I knew it!

Shuffleboard team, my eye.

If there was a club as lame as the library shuffleboard team,

I'd be its vice president! You're addicted to the internet!

I am not addicted. I can quit anytime I want.

OK, then. Quit now.

I will... as soon as I add these 17 new friends

who love me more than you do anyway!

Those friends don't love you.

If they did, they'd invite you to do something a lot cooler

than sit on the computer all day!

You don't know CatLover37. He's totally probably cool!

-Put the mouse down! -Make me!

[gasps]

You cannot stop me! I am AwesomeTodd!

[grunts]

Precious.

[growls]

[both grunting]

[man] Does this belong to you?

Who are you?

I am PuterDude13.

You're the cool mysterious recluse? What a letdown!

Hey, everybody exaggerates online, missy.

You're not exactly princess material yourself.

"Looks like Heather Hartley." Right.

[laughs] JOY. Joke's on you!

Aw, Todd. I remember when I was like you,

and I just discovered the wonders of computing.

It made it so easy to deal with people

without actually having to, you know, deal with people.

I loved it so much, I created Fleemster. I haven't seen a real person ever since.

So, you've basically been living as a shut-in for all these years?

Years? It's only been six months.

[both gasp]

-You're the biggest nerd ever! -You bet.

[computer chimes]

Ooh! Three new emails and five new text messages.

I am so cool.

[both sigh]

That was a close one, Riles. You saved me from a terrible future.

Hey, don't sell yourself short.

You got years to get that terrible future you deserve.

[chuckles] JK.

How did you keep from getting all wrapped up in the computer like I did?

Well, shuffleboard, superior willpower.

Plus, I figured out it's much quicker to just text message.

I'm testing to Tasumi right now.

Hey, a new text message from Riley. So cool!

Fore!

[Shelton screaming]

[gulps] Hey, a chocolate center. Who knew?

You'll be baaa-ack.

One jumbo banana split, sir.

Oh, and can you hold the banana, whipped cream,

chocolate syrup, and ice cream, please?

I'm allergic. Thank you, Mr. Sweetsworth, sir.

[gulp]

Whoa! Hey!

The Daring's. My favorite customers.

-What can I get you? -One toffee crunch cone, please.

One butterscotch blast shake!

One super sugar shock sundae for me! Extra everything!

Now, Riley, you know you can't have that much sugar.

We don't want a repeat of the putt putt incident.

Back, evil giant.

You'll pay for eating my golf ball!

Step away from the windmill!

[sighs] Fine.

One small plain vanilla cup.

[indistinct]

How much ice cream do I have to eat to get my picture on your wall of fame?

You just have to eat one more pound than the last guy,

which was you... yesterday.

Look at that handsome devil.

He thinks he's so great for eating 36 pounds of ice cream.

Well, I say bring on the 37-pounder!

[whistles]

[laughs] Let's do this.

Ooh, please. Stop, dear.

Eating this much ice cream can't be healthy.

Mom's right. Here. Let me just finish it off for you.

No! Let him do this!

Gorging yourself is an American tradition,

like the Fourth of July or baseball or tacos.

[groans] Almost there. Just need a little more room.

Look out below.

[exhales]

Yeah, there we go.

[gulping]

[grunts]

Congratulations, Dick.

Here's your commemorative plaque.

[grunting]

[laughs] I don't think so.

Hmm. Let this be a lesson to you kids.

Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

Wow, Dad. I didn't know you were a track star in college.

Aw, sure. I played all kinds of sports back then.

Baseball, basketball, blindfolded nighttime

combined Nordic super alpine motor luge. You name it.

International rules polar bear wrestling?

-First team all-American. -Wow.

[bell ringing]

Hey, Riley, check out my report for first period.

It's called "I Have The Most Awesomest Dad Ever."

-Jealous? -First, we have the same dad.

And second, I don't think that report is going to impress your math teacher.

Hey, Toad, the only thing awesome about your dad

is how awesomely large his gut is.

[laughs] Good one, Buzz.

[chewing loudly]

You don't know what you're talking about!

My dad can beat your dad in all things awesome!

And if there was some big, upcoming athletic competition,

I'd prove it!

Yeah, that's what we need, some kind of big athletic competition.

[bike ringing]

Hey, kids. I'm training for next month's big Pleasant Hills septathalon.

You want to sponsor me?

I'm racing for the Principals to Tahiti Foundation.

No, Mr. Cutler.

We're trying to think of an athletic competition

for our dads to compete in.

Look, guys, having your dads compete

in the Pleasant Hills septathalon isn't going to prove anything.

Pleasant Hills septathalon?! That's a great idea!

In fact, I bet you a hundred prize tickets

from the Fun-O-Sphere that my dad wipes the floor with Dick doofus!

[all gasping]

Wow! What can I get with all those prize tickets?

[roaring]

You're on, sucker!

Todd, don't you think you should've talked to dad

-before making a bet like that? -Nah, he'll be cool with it.

Of course I'm not cool with it!

The septathalon is six of the most grueling athletic events known to man.

Plus, the potato sack race!

So? You were a great athlete in college.

Yeah. I were a great athlete,

but if you haven't noticed, I've filled out a little since then.

Now, excuse me, kids. I've got to test out this new cannon.

Look out below!

[grunts]

[coughs] I swear they're making these things smaller than they used to.

[sighs] Oh, well.

If you kids need me, I'll be down at the ice cream shop.

Um... I'm starting to worry about Dad. This is serious.

You're right. This is serious.

One hundred prize tickets worth of serious!

We've got to do something.

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, I need to help my dad lose weight. Fast.

You want me to leave my store traveling the world

tasting ice cream for Ice Cream Illustrated magazine?

Yes. We just told you exactly that.

Why did you repeat it back to us in the form of a question?

Why did I repeat it back to you in the form of a question?

[both groaning]

Huh? Diet Emporium? Aw, just my luck.

[coughs]

Well, good thing the Pie Palace

still has their all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.

No, Dad, wait. Maybe this is a sign

you should lose some weight so you can compete in the septathalon.

But I can't just give up my pie eating lifestyle

to compete in a pie-less septathalon.

Where's the pie in that?

But you said yourself that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

Yeah, if you put your mind to it, not mine.

OK, Dad, if you get in shape and enter the contest,

I'll give up sugar as a show of support.

And if you beat Buzz's dad,

I'll give you 50 Fun-O-Sphere prize tickets.

Mmm. What could I do with 50 Fun-O-Sphere prize tickets?

[barking]

-I'll do it! -Cool! Now, let's get you on a diet!

[straining]

Oi vey!

All right. We got low carb, faux carb, all carb, no carb.

Oh, here's one where you eat nothing but seaweed!

It guarantees you'll lose weight in two weeks

and it comes with its own jumpsuit to help you sweat off the pounds.

I'll take it. I'm awesome at sweating... and wearing jumpsuits.

Hey, this diet's only endorsement

is from the American Association of Discredited Snake Charmers.

Have you ever seen a flabby snake charmer?

I didn't think so.

Yeah, Riley, they wouldn't sell it if it didn't work.

Come on, Dad. If I know anything,

it's that taking shortcuts is the quickest way to success.

[groaning]

Ooh, so sick of seaweed.

Well, Dad, it's time to see what you've got.

On your mark, get set, go!

[ticking]

[grunting]

Ohh! [panting]

[ringing]

Check out the septatha-loser!

Loser!

[laughs] Good one, son!

B-b-but I don't understand. He lost all that weight.

He should be able to run a septathalon in his sleep.

It's not enough to just lose weight. You have to do that and exercise.

Exercise? No way!

Oh, you mean for Dad.

Well, if that's what it takes...

[grunting]

[groans]

Mmm. Hmm?

Huh?

[screaming]

-[organ music playing] -[panting]

Huzzah! [laughs] I never felt better in my life.

Thanks for the music, Jacobo.

[Goober] Hey, hey, hey, everybody!

Welcome to the 37th annual Pleasant Hills septathalon.

Hey, T-bone, maybe I should get out there and race.

Oh, sure, Goober, you're great at running...

Running your big mouth, that is. Zing!

[gong rings]

[laughs] Good one, guys.

I got to write these down. [laughs]

[grunting]

We're all rooting for you, Dad!

You're the best!

C.A.R., say something nice.

Please don't injure yourself too severely.

I don't want to get blood on my seats.

[sobs] That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

I'm gonna take you down like a cheetah on a wildebeest.

Bring it on, champ. Or should I say, chump?

-I will destroy you. -Here comes the pain.

All right, racers. On your marks, get set, go!

-[horn blares] -[screaming]

[grunting]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheering]

[buzzer]

Ice cream here! Get your ice cream!

No, Dad. I won't let you give in now.

[slow motion] I'll save you!

[eating]

Thanks, honey. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a race to win.

[crowd cheering]

Just a little bit further, dear!

-Do it for your health! -Do it for the tickets!

Do it or else.

Yeah!

Did I win?

No! You finished second to last, but guess who that was.

Uh... I tried to cheat for you, Dad.

I know, son. I'm proud of you.

Hey, hey. Congratulations on not being the biggest loser here.

Here's your 99th place trophy and complimentary participation sundae.

You can keep the sundae.

I've learned that being in shape is its own...

Mine!

Congratulations on being the biggest loser here.

Here's your last place trophy.

Just because you won doesn't mean you're not a loser, loser!

-Uh, actually, it does. -Whatever! Loser!

I'm proud of you, Dad. Now, let's go get us some dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs?!

Why buy one when they're all around us?!

Take that and that! [laughs]

I feel the burn! I'm not even tired! [yells]

[announcer] The Fleemco Company presents: Riley Daring on teamwork.

Teamwork. Working together.

It's essential to achieve challenging goals in life.

But with hard work, gumption,

and a little luck you can always improve through teamwork.

Uh, I was talking about my team.

OK, whoever is picking these embarrassing clips

is not being a team player!

[announcer] This has been Riley Daring on teamwork.