Original subtitles

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

[Shelton] I can't believe it's just us on this overnight field trip!

That's 'cause the last one made everyone sick.

This'll be so much better than that trip to the sewerage treatment plant.

[gags]

The Yetzometzo Ruins!

Just think, a real life archeology expedition!

Do you know what this means?

Uh-huh! No classes!

No parents around to say things like...

[speaking Japanese]

It's gonna be like my favorite video game,

Montana Smith: Tomb Smasher.

Action, adventure, a cool whip that can cut mummies in half.

[whip cracks]

We'll unearth ancient secrets, make scientific discoveries,

embrace new chances to learn.

Did I show you these cool Yetzometzo fun fact cards I got?

It's like a little, portable school you carry in your pants.

What?

You brought flashcards on a field trip?

Oh, you've out-dorked yourself, Rile.

[snorts] Yeah!

Who invited the nerd? [snorting]

Todd's right, Riley. You gotta relax.

This is a field trip. It's like a vacation from learning.

Correction, it's like a paid vacation from learning. [laughs]

Hello, boys and girls!

I'm Professor Sneedly,

your super fun guide to the super fun world of archeology.

But first, who has to use the super fun little archeologist's room, hmm?

Uh-oh.

Wow! Is that the Yetzometzo Temple of Metapetatuma?

Why, yes, it is. [gasps]

Will one of you kids unearth King Metepetatuma's lost treasure?

[all exclaiming]

-Yes! -[laughs] Of course not!

That's for real archeologists.

You'll be working in our kiddie fun zone,

danger-free and, of course, super fun archeology simulation.

-[all groaning] -Oh, it's just a big sandbox!

Oh, goodness, no!

It's much safer than a sandbox.

Archeologists are people who dig up stuff from the past.

Can ya dig that, kids?

[laughing] Get it? Dig?

[snorts]

Hey! I think I found something!

It's a... a bone! A plastic bone.

I found a dinosaur mug.

I got sand in my pants.

Super work, kids.

You can purchase any of those quality souvenir finds at our gift shop.

Come on, Shelton. Time to do some real exploring.

But be careful.

We don't know what horrible, ancient monsters may be lurking about.

[all yelling]

What are you doing sneaking around out here?

We weren't sneaking anywhere.

We were just out for a stroll... at 2 a.m.

Hey, what's this?

[gasp] It's Yetzometzozoan!

Let me check my flashcards.

"Treasure above all others!"

A map to the lost treasure of Metapetatuma!

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!

Oh, no, you don't. That's far too dangerous for children.

But you can have super fun s'mores.

[muttering]

An ancient ruin is no place for children.

Who has to use the super fun little archeologist's room?

It's time for s'mores! S'mores! S'mores! S'mores!

[panting] That's it!

I can't take this guy treating us like babies anymore.

I'm calling Fleemco.

[rumbling]

[Australian accent] Name's Dingo.

[playing didgeridoo]

Dingo MaGee.

Somebody around here lose a treasure map?

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Me! Right here!

Nice work!

Looks like I'm gonna be your new adventure guide.

You can be my new sidekick. I'm gonna call you Sparky.

[yawning]

Watch out!

Ohh!

Whew! Close call, mate. That wild boar almost got you.

Ow! I'm no boar.

Ooh! Truffles!

What happened to Professor Sneedly?

He's in the Ingunaguay rain forest on a retreat.

Retreat! Retreat! This is not super fun!

Hey! I was gonna replace the professor.

You snooze, you lose. [chuckles]

Yeah, but I wouldn't have replaced him with this guy.

Is he even a scientist?

Science never gave us nothin' but broken dreams!

I told 'em to lose Professor Safety and send us a real life treasure hunter.

Did somebody say treasure?

[playing didgeridoo]

-Yes! Me! Just now! -What are we waiting for?

Todd, this isn't right. You're going to damage the antiquities.

I would never! What's an antiquity?

I think it's that long, nosy thing that eats ants.

Here we go! Hang on to your didgeridoo.

-Don't have one. -Then hang onto mine.

[all groaning]

[all yelling]

Oh! What a perfect place to lay out!

I love these paid vacations from learning.

[all groaning]

[grunts] Where are we?

My best guess, some sort of ancient underground parking garage.

According to these symbols,

we're in the royal tomb of King Metapetatuma!

So it worked? My plan worked?

See, Riley, if we'd listened to you,

we'd still be sittin' around camp, doin' homework.

It wouldn't hurt you to actually learn something, Todd.

I mean, that is the whole reason we're here in the first place.

No! We're here to find King What's-his-name's treasure.

Hold on! What do we have here?

[yells]

They look like warnings.

-If you give me a second, I can-- -Yeah, great. You do that.

Dingo and I will just scout ahead.

Right. Who's with me?

[panting and gasping]

I'm normally a step faster.

It's like I suddenly put on an extra 85 pounds.

That was so cool! Are you comin' or what?

Or what!

Wait. Let's see if we can figure out how to stop these things!

Is there a crescent-shaped stone over there?

Oh, crikey, this is gonna take a while.

[grunts]

Way to take charge, Sparky.

If you're done readin', Sheila, you and the rest can join us now.

[groans]

[grunting]

[sniffing] Can you smell that, Sparky?

-[flies buzzing] -I can only smell you, Dingo.

Right, and I only stink when I'm close to treasure.

-Can't be far now. -I can't cross that!

I've got the rickety-rope-bridge-ophobia.

Um, I don't know about this.

I don't see a bridge on the map... if you can call that a bridge.

Map, schmap! Where's your sense of adventure?

Live a little!

See? Satisfied?

It's perfectly... [yells]

[splash]

I'm OK!

You guys go ahead without me!

I'm just gonna see where these treacherous rapids go...!

Uh, Dingo?

-We're lost and alone and doomed! -[Riley] Maybe not.

If I'm right, the treasure room and the exit should be just ahead.

-"Go this way..." -Finally!

"If you wish a swift end. Otherwise, take the right tunnel."

Very funny.

Uh, is there another right tunnel?

If we don't make it out of here alive, Todd,

I just want you to know... I'm in love with your mom!

-Yeah! -[Shelton] Me, too!

OK. Let's get out of here.

Wait. It says here that only the meek may pass.

-What is that supposed to mean? -[yells]

[yelling]

Shelton!

[Shelton] Ow.

I'm alive... and surprised!

That's it! Don't fight it.

Just be meek and pathetic like Shelton.

I'm a nerd with the nerding and the being a nerd.

-Oh, no! -Ohh, my inhaler!

Bleh!

[exclaims] That must be the way out!

And that must be the treasure!

Todd, wait!

[Riley gasps]

"Knowledge is the treasure above all others."

What?! Knowledge?!

What is this, some kind of worthless, valuable life lesson?

What a rip!

You're lucky. It could have been...

-[all yelling] -A trap!

This is how they teach me?

What an even bigger rip!

Not more sand! It gets everywhere!

"Knowledge is a gift above all others."

"Above..."

My cards!

Todd, what do we do? You've seen all the dumb adventure movies!

What do we do?!

What? That's what they do in the movies.

"Gift above all others"?

Quick, everybody! Climb into the chest!

-But, Todd, you-- -Don't think! Move!

[all yelling]

Thanks, Todd.

If I weren't hugging you already, I'd hug you.

Yeah, well, it's you and your lame-o cards that got us as far as we did.

So thanks, yourself. Heh!

Aw, just too bad we didn't find ol' what's-his-name's treasure.

Oh, Todd, I could have told you there was no treasure.

That only happens on TV.

[yells] Ow!

Crikey! Dingo, me boy, ya done it again!

[playing didgeridoo]

[country fiddle music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[country music playing]

♪ I'm a strong-willed gal With lots of class ♪

♪ If you disrespect me You're gonna get some sass ♪

♪ Don't need diamonds, rubies, or pearls ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm an empowered fiddlin' girl ♪

[audience chanting] Susie May! Susie May! Susie May!

I'm an empowered fiddlin' girl!

[bow smoldering]

I'm an empowered fiddlin' girl with a cowbell!

Yeah! [laughs]

Dad, you're totally messing up my fantasy sequence.

[tapping cowbell]

Oh, sorry.

Todd, we came here for you. Now pick out an instrument.

Electric guitar here I come!

Pick something you're going to stick with, young man.

K, why limit the boy?

It took me many tries before I found my calling, the cowbell.

Two minutes ago.

You know, Mom, I was thinking, could I get an instrument, too?

I was just thinking the same thing, dear.

[tooting saxophone]

I've always dreamed of playing this, of being on stage, of--

So did I! [exclaims]

I'm going to get you the same teacher I had,

Mistress Serena, the greatest classical violinist in the world.

Classical?

[bass drum booms]

Oh!

[classical music playing]

Maestro Serena, thank you for coming.

You've made me very happy.

Oh, and my daughter, of course.

[English accent] Of course!

Now, child, show me what you can do.

[playing country fiddle music]

Ah, you play with the carefree abandon of a hillbilly.

She sure does!

Don't worry. We'll break you of that.

Aww!

I shall teach you the right way to play.

[playing classical music]

The right way sounds like the lullabies my mom used to...

[snoring]

Now you.

-But I really prefer-- -Don't be nervous.

I just know she's inherited my gift.

-[playing badly] -[dogs howling]

No matter! You shall learn to play well.

And by "well," I mean exactly like me, but not quite as good.

[snoring]

[playing classical music]

You just have to concentrate, Riley.

Focus! Focus!

[camera clicks]

It's like looking in a mirror. I'm so proud.

[playing together]

[violins playing]

[snoring]

-[cat yowls] -[dog barks]

[yells]

[groans]

[shouting]

[elephant trumpeting]

[sighs]

What would you do, Susie May?

[high-pitched voice] I would sell your fiddle

on Fleem-bay for $5.00.

Leave me alone!

I'm struggling with a complex moral dilemma.

I'm sick of violin, but I don't want to disappoint Mom.

So quit. It's easy and profitable.

Fleem-bay pick-up for Toddrocks117.

Todd, Dad's not buying you all those instruments

to sell on the internet. You're using him.

Hey, what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him.

-Unless I tell him. -Blackmail?!

Good show. I didn't think you had it in you.

What do I have to do?

You're going to help me cover for a replacement.

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, I need to replace my classical violin teacher

with a country fiddle picker.

[Mr. Fleem] Oh, so you're keeping your instrument and not selling it on Fleem-bay

like somebody we know?

Her majesty requests that I play with the world's greatest orchestra!

I am honored!

Whoo-hoo!

Delivery for the Daring household.

Susie May! It's really you!

I'm here to teach you to fiddle strong, little gal.

Oh, yeah, and to deliver this check to Toddrocks117.

I'll take that!

Your bongos are in the mail.

[Dick] Todd! If you still want that oboe,

we better get to the store before it closes!

So, fiddlin' puts a fire in your belly, eh?

You mean like when I eat my mom's cooking?

No. I mean like you have the right to rock out

-and you fight for it with a fiddle. -Yeah!

Still confused.

Then just listen.

[playing country fiddle music]

[squirrels chattering]

Now you try, little gal.

[playing country fiddle music]

[clapping]

Wow, Susie May, it feels so great to play the right way!

Riley, there are plenty of "right ways" to play music.

[chuckles] Sure, sure.

Less talking, more country rocking.

[country fiddle playing]

[classical violin playing]

Hey, what's that?

Oh, I just lasered a statue to inspire Riley.

Is that classical... [snoring]

Oh, dear.

[CD skipping]

Previously owned classic maracas, going once, going twice,

sold to the hillbilly on his mother's back porch.

-[CD skipping] -[stops skipping]

Ah! There she goes.

You know, she shouldn't be hiding her talent in her room.

And the world's best symphony orchestra does owe me a favor.

[orchestra playing dramatic music]

[shuddering]

Give me the plans, Agent K,

or the world's best symphony orchestra will perish!

-Never, Petrov! -So be it!

[laughing]

[yells]

[all] We owe you one!

Consider the favor repaid.

No, no, no!

Mom, how could you do this?

[orchestra warming up]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Relax, dear.

I heard you playing in your room. You are a prodigy.

Mom, really, there's no way I can go out there and play.

My clothes are too tight. A hillbilly ate my sheet music.

Oh, and darn it, I left my violin at home.

-No, you didn't. -You're not helping!

Sorry. We blackmail victims get a little testy once in a while.

Mom? There's something I have to tell you.

I should've said this before, but I was afraid.

-Mom, I just don't-- -I know, honey.

I love you, too.

Now go out there and wow that crowd!

OK, don't panic.

I can do this and still make Mom happy.

I'll probably just be one of 50 musicians out there.

They won't even hear me.

[announcer] And tonight only, the world's best orchestra...

will sit out the first song.

Instead, we'll be presenting local prodigy, Riley Daring,

playing Vivaldi's "La Duel of the Violinistas."

Well, maybe the other person will cover for me.

[announcer] She will be playing

with none other than her former instructor,

the fabulous Serena!

Or not.

Well, Riley, I sincerely hope you've learned how to play correctly.

You know, I've learned something about music.

Music is about expressing yourself, and your style, it's great,

but it isn't the only way to play.

You go, little gal!

[sighs] I'm sorry, Mom.

[playing country fiddle music]

[applause]

Child, my way is clearly superior.

[playing classical music]

-[applause] -Like I said, classical's great,

but country rock's what puts the fire in my belly!

[playing country fiddle music]

[playing classical music]

[laughing]

[snoring]

Huh? [snore]

Huh! [snore]

Huh! [snore]

[audience clapping along]

[elephant trumpets]

Ohh!

[applause and cheering]

-This music speaks to me! -I say yay! Encore!

Riley, why couldn't you just tell me you wanted to play country fiddle?

I never would have set all this up.

Well, you were so excited about me playing classical violin like you.

I just wanted to make you happy and proud.

Ooh! Then mission accomplished.

[crowd cheering]

Hey, by the way, where are all those instruments I've been buying you?

[chuckles] About that...

-[playing classical music] -[snoring]

[announcer] The Fleemco company presents: Prince Cinnamon Boots on enthusiasm.

[sputters]

[announcer] This has been Prince Cinnamon Boots on enthusiasm.