Original subtitles

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

[all breathing heavily]

You've got to help us!

Come again? I can't quite hear you.

Our air conditioner's broken.

Open the doors, C.A.R. That's an order!

I'm sorry, K, I can't do that.

Daisy, Daisy...

[crackling]

The heat's gotten to him, too. Now, new plan.

We commandeer the newest Whalemart

and make the freezer section our base camp.

[groans] Family, go on without me!

Look out below!

[groans]

Sometimes you guys can be so weird!

Where are you guys going?

The big community pool down the street from your house. Duh!

Oh, that pool.

OK, new, new plan. Last one there is a rotten egg!

[grunts]

[splashing]

[people chattering]

-Glorious. -It's just a pool, Riley.

Ohh...

Ah, swimming side by side with Johnny Hitswell.

I hereby christen this the summer of awesome.

Still crazy about Johnny? What's going on with you two anyway?

You've crushed on him longer than it took Mechagamazoar

to figure out the real-life Cryptogamazoar!

Well, he hasn't exactly asked me out, if that's what you mean.

What?! This is totally unacceptable.

Haven't you read this week's Teen Swoon magazine?

Teen Swoon magazine? "Dive into romance."

"Tips to make a splash with your summer hottie!"

It'll help you catch Johnny.

Hmm. Riley, when has Teen Swoon magazine ever been wrong? When?

You have a point.

Hello, folks, T.S. Fardsworth, swim coach and lifeguard.

Whoa, dad, Can I learn how to swim?!

Oh, Todd, swimming is for people who are jealous of fish.

Are you jealous of fish? I'm not. That's why I don't swim.

No, nonsense. Everybody should learn how to swim.

I could teach you all the strokes:

the flim-flam, the Dutch dip, the wombat wave.

[all exclaiming]

Sweet!

Sign us both up! This'll be fun! Right, Dad? Dad?

Hold on, son. Can't you see I'm having a flashback?

[crowd cheering]

Look out below!

Look out below! Look out below!

[yelling]

[yelling and grunting]

[yells]

-[Todd] Dad. -Eels!

[yelling]

Cheese and crackers! Man over board!

Oh, dear.

[panting]

"Teen Swoon tip one:

immerse yourself in your hottie's activities."

Yoo-hoo!

"Tip 13: men like challenges. Play hard to get."

Hey, Riley, I was gonna go get a soda. You wanna come?

Maybe I do, and maybe I don't.

-OK, see you later. -Oh, but...

I give up. Nothing in here works.

Wait, Riley. According to tip 29, you have one last resort.

You have to let Johnny know that the S.S. Riley is about to set sail.

There are other fish in the sea. Make him jealous.

I don't know... flirt with someone.

A cool skater, a hot paperboy, a hunky lifeguard.

Hunky lifeguard?

[panting]

Oh, boy.

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

I need to replace a lifeguard at my pool with a cute one,

so that I can make Johnny Hitswell jealous and notice me.

[Mr. Fleem] OK. But, Riley, isn't this replacement a little self-indulgent,

more Todd's territory?

-Hey, I'm due! -I can't guarantee he'll like you.

Oh, he doesn't have to like me. He just needs to be cute.

A fishing expedition to the Arctic Circle?!

Well, call me Ishmael! [yells]

You coming, boys?

[boat's horn blows]

[grunts]

[grunts]

That's it, son. I can't do it. I'm just not brave enough.

So, Dick Daring, greatest daredevil of our time is afraid?

Afraid of the doggie paddle? Afraid of a little water up his nose?

Your words are a shower of shame.

Afraid of pruney hands?

Dick Daring fears no prunes!

[Todd] Dad, shallow end!

This looks like a job for Davey Hunkerhoff.

-[whistle blows] -I'm on it!

So remember, sir, no diving in the shallow end, all right?

Dad, are you OK?

Why are there three Riley's?

Oh, great. Hi, I'm Riley.

-I guess you're the new lifeguard. -Davey Hunkerhoff at your service.

Thanks for saving my dad. [swoons]

Oh, it was nothing. I just showed him he could stand up.

[chuckles]

[groans]

Lifeguard, some strange liquid is in my ears and it won't come out!

I'm on it, waterlogged friend!

[groans]

Oh, save me! Can someone save me?!

That was a close one!

Oh, thank you so much, Davey. You're ever so brave and strong.

[rock music playing on headphones]

Oh, who will walk me home on this dark, dangerous... afternoon?

I'll walk you home.

If there's one thing I know, it's pool safety.

You know, most pool accidents happen on the way to and from the pool.

It's such a long way!

Oh, no problem, Shelton. I'll walk you home.

[grunting]

-Hi, Mom. What's that? -Dr. Articus' ice ray.

A few more fixes, and it'll be just like new.

We'll show that air conditioner who's boss.

Mom, I've got a problem. I can't seem to get Johnny's attention.

Have you tried diplomacy?

Eh, discourse?

You know, talking to him?

I've heard that works quite well.

Uh, no. I was kinda, sorta using this new guy to make him jealous.

Riley! That's deceptive and underhanded.

I don't know if I'm mad or... impressed.

-No, I'm mad! -So, what should I do?

Two things: thing one, apologize to the person you've been using.

Thing two, put on this parka.

It's about to get cold in here.

Mom, can't we just get a new air conditioner?

Oh, Riley, you're playing right into its hands.

[sighs] How am I going to do this?

Just march up to Davey and say, "Hey, Davey, I don't like you.

I've just been using you to make Johnny jealous?"

He'll hate me.

[voice cracking] Hey, Riley.

You need a walk to the... pool?

Davey, I...

[crying]

Safety first!

Wow, the heat of the sun! Oh...

Who wants eggs?

You! You did this!

"Please excuse the pool being closed, but for safety reasons,

a lifeguard shouldn't work with a broken heart.

Goodbye, Riley."

That's it, Riley! You're back on my list.

Right above Mechagamazoar.

Riley, I can't believe this!

Abbey, you are the one who told me to flirt with the hunky lifeguard.

Not at the expense of the pool, Riley!

Never jeopardize the pool.

He was just a boy, Riley. A sweet, innocent, strong-swimming boy.

[groans] To think I was just about to ask you out.

[groans] I would never use a public pool and still I'm outraged!

[all chattering]

I've hurt my friends. I've closed the pool.

I've disappointed Mom. I've broken a guy's heart.

How many lives must I destroy?

-What?! -No!

[deflating]

I'm going to find this Riley and make him or her pay!

[sighs]

Oh, hey, Riley.

Fix this, Riley. Find Davey.

You may have broken his heart, but he's a lifeguard.

He'll be drawn to the water.

-You should try Angry Seagull Beach... -[squawking]

[Todd] Rabid Raccoon Creek, or the fountain outside city hall.

Just find him!

This fountain full of change is for making my wishes come true.

Go find your own!

[rattling]

Davey, there you are.

Look, I... I'm so sorry for being such a jerk and treating you like that.

I thought you were my only friend here, but you were just using me.

[sniffs]

I'm sorry, Davey. I never thought you liked me.

How could I have known?

I followed the tips from Teen Swoon magazine.

Number nine, I walked you home.

Number 37, I monogrammed a safety device for you.

Number 46, I saved my hottie's parent and/or guardian from certain death.

You read that article, too?

Oh, Davey, look, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Well, you could... give me five bucks.

-What?! -What?!

Apparently, you haven't read: "How to mend a broken heart in three easy steps."

OK.

What's step two?

[panting]

After this, I can't wait to see what step three is.

I'm here for my mouth-to-mouth resuscitation class.

[beeping]

Fire in the hole!

Watch out! Rat coming through.

Aww. He's cute. Where'd you get him?

I borrowed him from school for my science fair project.

All I have to do is write down what he eats,

and I'm guaranteed at least a C-minus. Pretty sweet, huh?

Oh, let's take him out and play with him.

Nah, he likes it in there.

Hello, K, Riley, Todd, Todd's rat.

Todd's rat! [yells]

He's trying to escape and claw my eyes out!

And I need those for looking at stuff!

Dad, relax. I think he's just hungry.

Oh, really? What are you, some sort of "rat whisperer"?

[rattling]

Oh, right.

Let's see. We need some bread, pickles,

lots of mayo, mystery meat, dash of paprika,

and of course plenty of Super Happy Honey-Ball cereal.

And now for our own feast;

bell pepper and lemon salmon with a Dijon glaze.

[gurgling]

You think he's going to eat all that?

[snoring]

-[squeaking] -Poor thing.

You must be so lonely cooped up in there all day.

Don't worry. I'll be your best friend.

[upbeat music]

♪ Hanging out, having fun ♪

♪ My rat buddy is number one ♪

♪ He likes to party from head to tail ♪

♪ And when you're lost He'll find the trail ♪

-♪ He's my rat buddy ♪ -♪ Findin' treasure beneath the sea ♪

-♪ My rat buddy ♪ -♪ And solvin' a mystery ♪

-♪ My rat buddy ♪ -♪ And no one can pet him but me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

We are gonna have so much... Ooh!

Oh, no! [gasping]

[gasps]

[yells]

-[burps] -[yelps]

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

-Sir, I have an emergency. -Really? Well, you're in luck.

We got a great batch of new replacements this week.

What do you need? A world-champion archer?

An Acapulcoan cliff diver?

Ooh, ooh. How about a traveling band of trapeze artists?

[Riley] How about a lab rat?

[yells]

That it? A rat?

I let my brother's lab rat escape.

And if I don't replace it by tomorrow, he's gonna fail his science class.

Is there any way you could send me an identical rat?

-Please. -Uh, all right.

Let's see what kind of rats we have here in inventory.

[man] Number three, please step forward.

[rooster crowing]

Oh, hey, Todd.

Boy, your rat sure is looking exactly the same today.

Uh, yeah. I guess.

Good luck at the science fair with your totally not different rat.

[door opens, closes]

[chuckles] Smooth, just smooth.

Hey, where's Shelton?

-Jacobo, where's your project? -It's right here.

It's an invisible hovercraft that runs entirely on biodegradable material.

[scoffs] Invisible hovercraft? Right.

I've heard that one before.

-[seat belt zips] -[click]

[engine rumbles]

[grunts]

And what have we here?

You won't be disappointed by my project, sir.

The effect of Super Happy Honey-Ball sandwiches

on the common lab rat.

Well, let's have a look.

-[metallic squeaks] -[gasps]

Wait a minute. Something's different here.

This rat is several years younger than the rat we sent you home with.

That could only mean... your Super Happy Honey-Ball sandwiches

have successfully reversed the aging process!

Whew.

Really? Cool!

[girl] Wow, this is so cool.

[students chattering]

Reversing the aging process?

Kid, you're going to be bigger than jam on toast.

[giggling]

Here you go.

I signed yours with a heart, heh.

Mmm. [giggles]

And so, in conclusion, you can see

that this is a sandwich that reverses the aging process.

Are there any questions?

So, is it your hypothesis, then,

that the biomolecular juxtaposition of the various ingredients

results in a sort of negative metabolic disequilibrium?

[rat squeaking]

Let me go back.

This is a sandwich that reverses the aging process.

Fabian, you know I love your work, but my interview with Ace Palmero

is in five minutes, and these highlights do not say world class scientist!

[yells]

-Todd... -[door slams]

There's something I need to tell you.

Riley, you don't need to say anything. I know you're proud of me.

You know, it's funny.

I never thought of myself as a smart person before,

but now that I've made such a difference in the world,

I feel really important.

-Yeah, see, about that-- -[beeping]

Oops. I'm on. I'm glad we had this talk.

Todd Daring, you're a scientist, a best-selling author,

and Teen Swoon magazine's most eligible sixth grade bachelor.

Now, sources tell me, Ace Palmero, you're the odds-on favorite

to win the prestigious Alfred P. Dunleavy Science Award.

[gasps]

Oh, Ace, you're embarrassing me. [giggles]

But please continue.

Hang on, Ace Palmero smells a rat. Literally!

-Wait, I can explain! -Ace Palmero doesn't need an explanation.

-Ahh. I don't-- -You've successfully cloned your rat.

Amazing!

I did? I mean, I did. Sure.

K, K, K, look! I used to know that kid!

Two breakthroughs in one month.

Interesting. It's as if our son has been replaced by a super intelligent robot.

[gasps] Dr. Scipot!

That was kinda weird.

Oww!

[electronic whirring]

And that was even weirder.

Hmm. They put real hair on this robot. Very clever.

Todd, I have a confession. You never reversed the aging process.

I lost your first rat, then ordered a replacement from Fleemco.

What?! And you weren't going to tell me?!

I tried, but you seemed so happy. I didn't know how to break it to you.

Oh, wow. That is just great.

Now all I have to fall back on are my inexplicable rat-cloning powers.

Uh... uh-uh.

I'm sorry, Todd.

I know you wanted to win the Dunleavy Award.

Oh, well, I'm still winning that award. Nobody needs to know about this.

What?! Todd, you can't do that! It's dishonest.

What you talkin' about?

The only reason we're in this mess is because you were dishonest.

Yeah, but... Shut up!

-[people yelling] -[Todd Look, I'd like to tell the truth,

but the scientific community looks up to me as a hero.

I can't let them down.

This isn't for me, Riley. It's for the fans.

[crowd cheering]

Oh, oh, Todd, great interview. Can I get a picture?

[shutter clicks]

[man] Why is it you can put a man on the moon,

but you can't build a vault big enough to hold all my money?

Wow, thank you. Thank you.

This is such a surprise, I didn't even prepare a... speech.

Hey, you're Todd Daring. I'm a big fan of your work.

-I really hope you win. -Thanks. Are you nominated?

Yeah, but not for anything as important as reversing the aging process.

Just a spray that makes gross vegetables taste like candy.

Wow. That really deserves to win.

Oh, sure, winning would be great, but I just take comfort in the fact

that I've given back to the scientific community

and never had to lie about it.

Hey, what are you nominated for?

I just spent the last 17 years in the Arctic tundra

tracking a once extinct species of penguin.

Wow! Seventeen years? You're really dedicated.

Oh, I lost several toes, but I feel it was worth it.

[gulps]

[groans] Hey, Riley, what do you call that annoying pain

you get in your head when you feel bad?

That's your conscience.

I don't suppose Fleemco can replace that?

-Nope. -Ohh. OK, you were right all along.

I guess it was just nice to feel like I'd accomplished something important for once.

You'll feel that again. Just not now. Or any time soon.

I guess when I get up there, I'll just have to decline the award.

I'm proud of you, Todd.

-[upbeat award music] -[applause]

Good evening. There were many deserving candidates

for this year's Dunleavy Award, but only one stood out among them all.

We're so proud of you, Todd...

or whoever you are.

Almost overnight, this remarkable young man

went from being a virtual unknown

to becoming one of the world's top scientific pioneers.

Please, join me in congratulating this year's winner:

Alfred P. Dunleavy, Jr., my son.

-[crowd murmuring] -What?!

For this amazing baking soda and vinegar volcano.

[laughs]

[hissing and gurgling]

Wow! Look at that thing go!

Yeah! Boom!

I can't believe it! This contest was totally fixed!

I was supposed to win that award and graciously decline it.

But at least you know you were going to do the right thing.

I guess.

Knowing the difference between right and wrong

is what separates us from the animals, Todd.

Good point, Riley.

For example, I know getting revenge on that cheater would be wrong.

But my rat, they just know they've been cheated.

[growling]

[Dunleavy Jr.] What?! Ohh!

Save me! [yells]

[yells]

♪ My rat buddy's getting revenge for me ♪

♪ My rat buddy's getting revenge for me ♪

[yells]

[announcer] The Fleemco Company presents: Dick Daring on failure.

As a famous stunt man, I am no stranger to failure.

Look out below! Look out below!

[grunting]

But they say you can learn more from failure than success.

And if that's true, then I must be the smartest man in the world.

-[thudding] -[Dick] Oww! That smarts!

[announcer] This has been Dick Daring on failure.