Original subtitles

[theme song plays]

♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪

♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪

♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪

♪ Got a superspy mom ♪

♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ The replacements ♪

♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪

♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪

♪ And make things bad ♪

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, we need a replacement.

And fast.

♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪

♪ Modify and rearrange ♪

♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪

♪ Make 'em better, nice And strong and fast ♪

♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪

♪ Call in the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

♪ Just get the replacements ♪

♪ Replacements ♪

♪ Get the replacements ♪

-[video game noises] -[Todd] I have you now!

[Shelton] Save me, Princess Cuddlebug!

[giggles]

Cuddlebug powers, activate!

Oh, please. Don't hit me with your doom ray.

Please, don't hit me with your doom ray!

Doom ray, activated!

Whoa! No! Princess Cuddlebug! [groans]

Oh, this isn't even fun anymore.

Todd! Todd! [panting]

It was so much fun! You gotta go!

Who picked Princess Cuddlebug?

She wields the power of love, which was no match for the doom ray.

Jacobo, slow down. What is it?

The International Fun-O-Sphere's theme restaurant and arcade!

-I just got back. -No way! I heard it's awesome!

Awesome is an insult for this place.

They have the newest simulation video games from Japan.

♪ Fast, fast ♪

-♪ Go, panda ♪ -♪ Fast ♪

[Jacobo] State-of-the-art air hockey tables from Canada...

and an animatronic puppet show with characters from all over the world!

Plus, you can eat your way around the globe!

You can have tacos for appetizers, pizza for your meal,

and wash it all down with their signature Belly Buster soda!

Ooh! Yes!

[slurping]

[burps]

Ahh...

-Do you have any twos? -Aw! How do you always know?

-You forgot the one on the left. -Oh...

Mom, Dad! Can we go to the International Fun-O-Sphere?

It's got games and food

and a robot dinosaur that plays the keyboard.

Yeah!

Can we go, K?

Very well. We'll go to the Fun-O-Sphere.

-Yes! -If you and Riley get good reports

at your parent-teacher conferences this week.

[laughs] Which really means you need a good report

because Riley always gets straight Bs.

My teachers say I'm the most consistently

slightly above average student they've ever had.

Thanks, Mom. Fun-O-Sphere, here we come!

[man on recorder] Please remove your rabbit from my tugboat.

[man on recorder speaks in German]

[children repeat in German]

What? What's this?

-Last week's test. -I got an "F"?!

-Ja, mein student! -OK, you lost me there.

But cut me some slack, Mr. Paul. It's not like I'm ever gonna need this.

Todd, with that kind of attitude, you will never understand

the true beauty of the German language.

You don't understand! I have to get a good grade in this class.

Well, don't worry. I'll discuss various tutoring options

with your parents at our upcoming conference.

[groans] Man!

Why did I even sign up for this stupid class?

[groans] The only electives left are a foreign language class

and garbage collecting.

Well, I guess that makes this a pretty easy choice.

[grunting and laughing]

[raccoons squeaking]

Guten tag, future student.

Oh, right.

[phone beeping]

[telephone rings]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, I need you to replace my German teacher

with someone who speaks only German.

[Mr. Fleem] Only German? That seems like an odd request.

You know, so I can, um, learn the language better.

Plus, it would have the unfortunate side effect

of making it impossible for my parents to understand him,

but I'm willing to take that risk.

[Mr. Fleem] Well, it is a beautiful language.

[men] Hey! Ja, ja! [singing]

[Riley] All right. Just one more class to go.

Another "B," and I've run the table.

Dad, you don't speak German, right?

-Dos burritos, por favor. -Great! I call dibs on Dad!

[playing polka music]

Dad, meet my German teacher, Herr Doofentanzer.

Dick Daring, world famous stuntman.

[crickets chirping]

So, tell me, how's Todd doing in class?

[speaks German language]

What did he say?

Um, he says I'm the best student he has.

Wow! Really?

He says sometimes he learns more from me than I learn from him.

[playing polka music]

Now he wants us to dance to celebrate my high marks!

Cool!

[vocal improvising]

-What'd he say? -[laughs]

He says it's nice to meet you.

-How did your conference go? -Great.

My teacher says I'm picking up trash at a tenth-grade level.

Bring on the Fun-O-Sphere!

[polka music playing]

Hmm...

[elevator dings]

Whoa!

This is the single greatest moment of my life!

[boy] Complimentary cotton candy, sir.

I stand corrected.

They're country-size. I got Greenland!

Oh! I got Australia!

Aw... I got the principality of Monaco.

Ooh! Claw machine!

[coins rattle]

Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. All right. Here we go.

One more token. And another one.

And another one. And one more. And maybe this one. And that one.

And that one, too. Ahh. OK.

Just a few more tokens!

Uh-huh. Like this one. OK. That good. And another one. And one more.

Uh-huh. Here we go. All right. Yeah. OK!

[beeping]

[electronic voice] You have one credit.

Ooh... I'm getting that elephant!

Look out below!

Ahh... ooh. Oh, that's it. Easy... Easy...

Ah! Got it!

Now, it's just a simple matter of gently lifting it up, and--

No! Oh, why?!

Why do you mock me, elephant? Why?!

[Agent K grunting]

Whoa! You're awesome at this game!

This is so unrealistic.

Dr. Scorpius only sends in his foot soldiers

after he sends in the robotic panthers.

[grunting]

Hit the... Whoa, whoa...

Check it out, Rile.

Even doing laundry is fun when it's in video game form.

You know, Todd, it's funny that you got a new German teacher

right before parent-teacher conferences.

Eh. Stuff happens. I find it's best not to think too much about it.

-Yoink! -Wait! I didn't add softener!

Todd, I know you replaced your teacher just so you could come here.

I saw, I know. You're busted.

OK, fine. So, maybe I did.

What are you gonna do? Tell Mom and Dad?

No, I'm going to let the guilt

of knowing you did something wrong be your punishment.

Also, if I told on you, we'd have to leave before I get a chance

to clean up over by the waffle bar for extra credit!

Whatever. Me and my guilt are gonna be over at this smack-a-mole game.

Hey, check out my elephant. It only cost me $137 in tokens.

Dad, you have an elephant just like that at home.

[gasps]

Oh, yeah. You're right.

[toy elephant squeaks]

All right! Let's go eat, huh?

I reserved us a table in the German section.

Pretty cool, huh, Todd?

[gulps]

[people murmuring]

-K, are you coming? -Not now, dear. I must save the world.

And get the high score!

I'll get us a table, son.

I picked up a few things at your conference.

[speaks German language]

[grunts]

[crying]

Huh. Well, I guess you seat yourself here.

Hi, my name's Brian. May I take your order?

Gee, Todd, why don't you order for us in German?

Oh! Um, I guess I should be able to do that.

Um...

[speaking broken German]

Whoa! You speak German. I wish I did.

Aw, darn. OK, for you, I'll order in English.

[Riley groans]

Who knew the Germans knew how to make such good sauerkraut?

See, Riley? This whole evening went off without a hitch.

So, unless something happens

in the last few feet before the exit here--

[grunting]

-Hey! -[yells]

Oh, I do hope this is a proper establishment for our bridge club.

-Ooh! -Whoa!

[people screaming]

Don't worry, everybody! I've got the instructions right here.

Whoa!

Oh, no! Now all we have are the German and Swahili instructions.

-I speak Swahili. -Oh, whew!

Great! Can you help us read these instructions?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

I can't read Swahili. I just speak it.

[yelps] Does anyone here know German?

Uh, my son does! You... you go. Go, go!

[Todd] OK, um... let me see here.

[all screaming]

[grunts] Now this is a restaurant! Yeah!

[grunting] Todd!

All right, all right. I have a confession. I don't know German!

I lied to my parents just so I could come here.

In hindsight, I probably should have brought this up earlier.

I'm really sorry!

[powering down]

[yelling] [grunts]

[laughing] I won!

What happened?

You don't spend seven years behind the Iron Curtain

without picking up a little German.

Learning a foreign language is a valuable tool.

I'm disappointed in you, Todd.

Nothing's more important than being honest.

So you're gonna give up all those tokens?

Uh, of course. I'm just gonna donate them to that claw machine over there.

I'm really sorry, Mom.

But I definitely learned my lesson that it's never OK to lie.

And that's the most important thing, right?

Oh, yes. Lessons are important.

[Herr Doofentanzer] My llama requires an electric toothbrush.

[repeats in German language]

[repeats in German language]

Excellent! Let's dance!

[singing in German language]

[cow moos]

[dance music playing]

[laughs] There's a look that'll never catch on.

Huh?!

[all chattering]

Tasumi, why does everyone have the same crazy outfit on?

And what's with all the turtles?

Everyone's wearing the Heather Heartly look.

Where have you been for the last three days?

-The bottom of the ocean? -Uh...

Remember, honey, our three days on Operation: Neptune are classified.

Uh, no.

Heather and the turtle were discovered last week

by an international photographer.

And finally, after hours of hard work,

she was branded the new "her" girl by Teen Swoon magazine.

See? It's her! She's famous.

-For what? -For being on the cover.

-But why is she on the cover? -Because she's famous!

Look, Tasumi, fitting in is one thing,

but don't you think it's kind of ridiculous

for everyone to copy the same person?

[phone ringing]

Sorry, Riley. Can't talk. It's time to walk Turtleback.

[groans]

[teacher] So, if Heather Heartly were to brush her hair

50 times a day, but skipped four days,

and then made up for it by a factor of three,

how many times will she have brushed her hair at the end of the week?

Riley?

She would have brushed her hair 750 times!

I'm sorry, Riley. You've never been more wrong.

[snorts] Like Heather Heartly really brushes her own hair.

[all laughing]

I will now read the minutes of the last meeting.

"10:25: We talked about Heather Heartly.

10:35: We looked at pictures of Heather Heartly.

10:45: My turtle had a little accident in my handbag.

10:46: I bought a new handbag."

Wow! I had no idea we got so much done!

Hey, guys. What are you doing?

We're holding the second official meeting of the Heather Heartly Fan Club.

Local 152.

-Can I join? -[both] No!

But I've got my own turtle! Oy!

No, Shelton, our Heather Heartly Fan Club is for girls only.

-Ooh! -Yeah. Teenage girls.

[groans]

-Whee-hee-hee! -Do you want to join Riley?

-No, thanks. -OK.

I don't want to play this game anymore, turtle!

Mom, Mom! Where are you?

I have to show you this prune that looks like Jacobo!

-[button beeps] -[explosion]

[whistling]

[yelling]

That oughta keep those raccoons out of there.

[gasps] Prunekobo!

[growls]

What's up, kids?

Oh, never mind.

Well, there's a stupid girl named Heather Heartly,

and all the girls at school are dressing like her,

and everyone looks exactly alike,

and I don't want to, and it's really stupid,

so what should I do?

Exactly alike, you say?

-I understand completely. -You do?

Yes. Sounds like the evil Dr. Clonemaster

has escaped from jail and is up to his old tricks again.

[growling]

[Agent K] I realized I couldn't control the clones, but I could control myself.

[all grunting]

I'm coming for you, Clonemaster!

[sighs]

Why don't you just wear the stupid Heather Heartly outfit

-and fit in for once? -You're missing the point completely.

I'm not going to give in to some silly fad.

And nobody else should either.

[phone beeping]

[phone ringing]

[Mr. Fleem] Hello, Fleemco.

Sir, I need you to replace Heather Heartly.

-Oh, I love her! -Really? Why?

[Mr. Fleem] I have no idea.

Anyway, I need to replace her with an average, unimpressive girl.

I mean, there's no way everyone will copy

someone unstylish, unhip, maybe even a little frumpy.

[doorbell rings]

Riley Daring? Fleemco wants you to replace Heather Heartly

as the new "her" girl.

[laughs]

What? But I said I needed an average, unimpressive girl, unstylish, unhip.

"Maybe even a little frumpy."

-That's you, kiddo. -Hey!

Wait. I see where they're going with this.

There's no way those girls will imitate ordinary, old me.

And they'll realize just how silly they've been

to copy someone else's look.

-I'm not too hip for this, right? -Wait just a second.

[laughs]

[camera shutters clicking]

[gasps]

[all] Nag, nag, nag, nag...

Tasumi, how did this happen?

Who knew the stores had this many striped belts?

-And what happened to all the turtles? -Where have you been, Riley?

You are the new "her"!

You're all the rage since Heather Heartly went to film that reality show.

[Ace Palmero] Watch as the youngest, hottest stars get even hotter,

as they're forced to live together for 43 days inside a volcano!

Who will be eliminated first?

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa! ♪

[barking]

[announcer] And who will be the last remaining stranded celebrity on

Volcano Island!

Wait. I didn't want everybody to start copying me.

-That's not what I was-- -Look! It's Riley! Oh, come here!

[girls squealing and chattering]

Riley, how do you get your hair so limp?

Riley, how do you get such fabulously knobby knees?

Riley, how do you remain so ordinary?

What are you wearing tomorrow?

[all] Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag...

[both yelling]

[girls chattering]

-[girl] Please! -[all] Nag, nag, nag, nag...

This is insane.

I know. One of you is about all I can handle.

What are we gonna do?

Follow me.

[girls] Riley!

Riley! Riley! Riley!

[chattering]

Are you done yet?

[Riley] Almost.

-Well? -Did you do anything?

-Todd... -I have one last touch.

OK. [spits] Can we go?

And one last, final touch.

Ouch! You can't call it one last touch and then add another la--

[spits] Ha. Perfect.

[girls gasping]

-Is it working? -I don't know.

[all squealing]

[screaming]

I love you! You look great!

I love your hair!

-Kick me again! -Oh!

Oh, it hurts to look so good.

[dance music playing]

[girls] Riley!

[laughing]

[girls clamoring]

[laughing]

I wish mom had to fight Dr. Clonemaster every night.

-You're such a better cook. -It's only mac and cheese, Todd.

Your mom makes it, too.

Yeah. [laughs] But yours isn't moving.

Uh, can we get back to my problem? The whole town's dressing like me now.

Hmm... I had no idea today's children

were so impressionable when it comes to fashion.

Perhaps the market's ripe again

for my Dick Daring inflatable crash pants!

If your pants can't double as a floatation device,

then they're not doing their job.

[all chattering]

-[girl] Oh, no! -Oh, no! Riley's back to clean Riley!

[grunts]

[girls grunt]

Listen, everyone! Please listen!

You shouldn't all start cleaning up!

I mean, you should, because it's really starting to smell around here,

but, I mean, you shouldn't just do it because I did.

You have the right to be anything you want!

But what if what we want, each of us,

-is to be like you? -What?!

You can't have it both ways, sister!

Part of being an individual is the right to copy others!

You know what, Sierra? You're right.

Everyone should be free to make their own decisions.

If you wanna--

-I want to give a speech! -Me, too!

Four score and seven--

[all talking at once]

Now these wannabes are just copying you by making speeches.

I know. And they should.

If they want to, I mean. You know what?

I have to stop worrying about what others do,

and just look after myself.

Hello, Fleemco?

Hey, Riley. Didn't you hear? Heather's back.

She left stranded celebrity on Volcano Island

when she found out there was no eyeliner.

[screams]

Really? You don't say?

And now everyone's back to looking like Heather again.

-It's kind of shallow, if you ask me. -Plus, it's so expensive!

This custom armor ain't cheap, you know.

Yeah, I'm going to go back dressing like me.

At least until someone more fashion forward comes along.

Hmm. Ladies...

[screaming]

So, who wants a pair?

[announcer] The Fleemco company presents: Dick Daring on inspiration.

I used to have a serious problem with inspiration

whenever there was a heat wave.

Look out, below!

But then I switched to this: Fleemco's extra fancy brand deodorant.

[announcer] Excuse me, Dick, "inspiration" means motivating others.

I believe you're thinking of perspiration.

Really? Oh. Well, I...

Oh, great. Now you got me inspiring.

[announcer] This has been Dick Daring on inspiration.