Original subtitles

[Music]

the prosecution star witnesses this man

cecil rusk roma's former accountant and

confidant

his court testimony is expected to seal

the state's case against roma

look at that little weasel maybe didn't

pull any triggers but he's as bad as his

boss

yeah that trial could go on for months

it's captain august we're on

we got to go on do you have your pager

ready oh yeah you just give me the word

and i'll be there oh believe me i will

i'll call you later okay

okay

so wha what are you doing today nothing

i have the day off

i said why waiting at the beach

sure sounds good d.a calls up he dumps

the witness protection tst at my lap

tells me to put my best men on it i want

you to handle it for me

oh great captain so now we're delivery

boys no you were transporting a valuable

witness to a very important organized

crime trial

you shouldn't take any more than one

hour out of your precious day

well actually that pretty much works for

me captain gives me time hey

that's romero's that's all we've been

looking for

you trump

[Music]

you know if he's real smart captain he's

gonna stay down this time

[Music]

uh-oh

is that our man captain no

he is ah what is this don't touch the

suit it's worth more than your house

oh geez what is this this is tap water i

said mineral water i can only have

mineral water i get this again

you're touching don't you touch what is

it are you a little funnier what's the

story there

oh god i must have the mineral water and

i expect to have it soon

because i can't drink this

time to wake up

come on

[Music]

nice time

[Music]

[Music]

hey it's hot and humid back here it's

humid relax relax

rust how am i supposed to relax i'm

sweating like a pig this is a 900 dollar

soup you know

it's not made out of polyester let's try

rolling down the window all right

you have any air conditioning in this

thing i mean i'm supposed to be pampered

i am the star witness you know that

means i'm a somebody

and what would it be will you shut up

easy artist

a little edgy today you know that sorry

please

shut up all right guys look we're gonna

be the courthouse in 20 minutes so

everyone just stay calm okay

good because i'm gonna tell my lawyers

what's going on here

let me tell you that i will let them

know that i've had not

lunch yet and it's 11 and i have to eat

lunch by 11 and you know why

i'll tell you why because i'm supposed

to because i eat

four times a day that's right four times

a day just like our ancestors

not one of them was ever fat or had

stomach problems

and were they unhealthy i should say not

they were probably a healthier

than you were you know what dead for you

we should shoot him

good idea all right go ahead shoot him

i'll shout the last guy all right fine

i'll shoot him here hold the wheel all

right don't make a big mess i won't

you know i don't think this is very

funny fellas

who's joking it's locked

you know what you're doing this is

doctor this is psychological torture

it's not

fair you are giving me a psychological

star that i will

carry with me for the rest of my life

august what's with the three pagers

back up just in case one goes bad

never why what's wrong with three

beepers lots of people have two beepers

i've got three

okay

he doesn't really even need to be a cop

you know

he is so talented it's in his blood

honey it took me

five years to figure that out with

august i know

he always tells me that ever since he

was six he wanted to be a policeman

not august back when he was boxing that

was everything to him

but then after that whole scene he went

to help clean up the neighborhood

let me tell you that has been a battle i

admire you guys

look at me living on the beach

far away from the real world

i wouldn't know what it's like it's a

choice we made

we take time off though you can't stare

in the face all the time

look um kendra can i tell you something

sure i i didn't want to be alone today

i i'm waiting for a call from my doctor

oh my gosh are you okay well it depends

how you look at it

i think i might be pregnant oh my god

that's great

that's great news um

i don't know what's not for this

[Music]

i find this car completely unacceptable

oh gee

i am so sorry but our limo was in the

shop oh yeah just wonderful

you can keep coming back with your

witless ripostes and your sarcasm

but that's not gonna save you officer i

want your badge number

okay and and i'm going to report you

and your partner and your attitude you

shut up oh chase take it easy you're a

little edgy today

listen why don't we all just be quiet

okay

i'm gonna sue august

we should have shot him

[Music]

don't stop no stop let's see if he's got

[Music]

insurance

this guy's getting on my nerves

[Music]

[Applause]

dispatch this is 1 william 13. honestly

we can't call in we're in transit

remember

sorry wrong number well i must say i'm

not impressed with the way you gentlemen

are handling this thing

i think i'm going to have to sue you and

i'm going to sue the lapd

and i'm going to sue the mayor of los

angeles shut up

[Music]

turn right up here

[Applause]

august yeah you know what what traffic

in l.a sucks

houston we got a problem

[Music]

[Music]

chase come on come on come on get him

out of there

hey this is not part of the okay

come on

come on

i'm not supposed to be dragged around

the streets dumped off in an alley like

a piece of garbage

i've got some very powerful friends in

very high places

so how do you tell the difference

between your friends and your enemies

pal

well my friend usually go go go go go go

go go

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

go go

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what are you doing i'm taking this puppy

for a test ride

august i'm not having fun

[Music]

[Music]

so

well how's the test drive

pulls a little to the left

i thought you guys were supposed to

protect me all right

transit runs are supposed to be top

security huh schedules roots everything

yeah we gotta leak somewhere

more bad guys august

hey rusk you sure you're just an

accountant yeah that's it i'm just a

numbers puncher you know

i hooked up with rome about 15 years ago

helped him cheat the irs

out of millions one day i felt guilty

and i turned myself in

didn't want to go down with him huh kind

of like a rat from a second shot

no no it's nothing like that all i did

was just trade my testimony for immunity

that and the irs gives me no income

tax for the next decade you can do that

you can do anything this is america now

[Music]

all right what i suggest that we do

right now is get moving

oh

come on come on

[Music]

cars just turned up near the alameda off

ramp total there's nowhere to be found

what do you think happened they were

attacked can't call him because of

security

this has got to be roma's people well

that means we've got a leak

leak this is more like a geyser i want

you two to coordinate this search from

here

yeah thank you have units scour a four

mile periphery right around the crash

site

find those three and let me know what's

going on yes i'll get the search team

started

[Music]

yeah shepard

[Music]

it's not like i'm being disloyal or

anything it's just that marios roma he

uses people you know just like he used

me he's a bloodsucker that's what he is

he's a bloodsucker when he's finished

with you he just tosses you away

he screws everybody well i just happen

to be the one who screwed him first

yeah it's a jungle out there dog eat dog

you know

you guys listening to what i'm saying

listen why don't you call jensen we

can't walk all the way to the courthouse

all right

uh oh august will you look at this i

just bought this phone okay okay okay so

we got to find a pay phone

i got to call jody too chase can we deal

with your social life later

you don't understand august she might be

pregnant what

jody how no no no wait

don't answer that jesus you know you

enjoy the republicans

kids now there's a tax nightmare hey you

know what i bet you i could do your

return for you

no problem i mean it's not like raising

a dog you know once you start claiming

dependence the irs will eat you

up let me do your return i'll save you a

bundle anyway

jody's supposed to call me as soon as

the doctor gives her the results you

know you're gonna look good with kids

kids august are you kidding me we're not

even married and kids and

i i i just don't get along with kids

okay are you gonna tell me or what tell

you what what's with the three pagers

up to two is tax deductible if you prove

it work related it's not work related oh

moonlighting

you know we got to find a phone well

what about the one on the corner

let's get it it's right over here

august you got a quarter yeah

no how about you rusk what do i look

like to you a piggy bank

what's the matter russ can't write it

off i don't worry about it obviously

probably charges interest anyway

you guys are so funny calling card

perfect

jensen captain it's mcdonald's what's

your situation

we lost the unit but we got the

passenger no way we're going to make it

the courthouse though

okay the da's ask for a continuance

until tomorrow

just lay low keep them alive any way you

can we got a leak here i'm trying to

nail it down

what's your 20 august

where are we um agua vista and

barrister agua vista and barrister okay

you just stay put i'll send three units

out there right away

got it

i got it

good job within it but just make sure

you get there first

and make sure that they're dead well

that's the idea

he wants us to stay close in the area

for a pickup hmm

let's eat i'm starved i could eat

what do you say we have chinese guys

we're in the wrong part of town for that

i'm in the mood for anything yeah

anything except falafels

hi hi can i take your order uh yes you

may um

i would uh i'd like one lap dance to go

hey all right oh what can i get you i'm

gonna

okay all right i'm sorry i apologize if

i offended you in any way

i will have a falafel but no onions okay

no onions because i have a gastronomical

yeah well

i have a condition but i don't want to

get into that with you so

just no onions one falafel would you

like something to drink

i'll have one mineral water but i want

the good kind you know the kind without

the bubbles the kind that tastes like

water okay

and what can i get you uh what's your

name maria

maria do you have tofu falafels we sure

do

it comes with water chestnuts and

alfalfa sprouts

perfect i'll have two tofu falafels

grilled no butter no oil

no msg and do you have cranberry juice

we do

a large cranberry juice okay thanks you

know chase you always eat so damn

healthy

maria i'm gonna have that sausage

falafel special make sure they fried

twice in a sad order of sour cream

august you know what your problem is you

don't care about your body

fried foods will kill you you worry

about your stomach i'll worry about

mine it's not just about the stomach you

could probably use a good colonic too

we have to talk about that now what do

you say we ditch these guys and the two

of us just go off tonight and we tango

through the night

i can do it you can do it down fido

you know if i had waved a sino front of

her face

i guarantee you she would have treated

me a lot differently yeah well money

isn't everything russ

no it comes close roma he had beautiful

women all the time i mean we're talking

models and actresses climbing all over

him i know i saw it i watched

they treated me like a mascot for once

just once i'd like to have a zillion

bucks in my pocket and have some

gorgeous blonde come tooling by

she picks me up i hop in and the two of

us drive

off into the sunset isn't that a movie

rusk

no it's my fantasy it couldn't be a

movie it's mine

it's my fantasy

what hey batteries go bad you know i

mean

you can never be too careful all right

enough's enough august

what's up with the pagers we'll see

uh kendra's she's taking some time off

work see and uh

we're aiming for the best possible

circumstances

for conception

so this is a kid thing so you're like

saving it up

right we haven't been

intimate in three weeks now poor bastard

i haven't been intimate for three years

now really

and also when the time is right she's

gonna page me

okay okay um but why three pagers don

juan

well you know what if one breaks down

and what if i'm replacing the batteries

and the other one when she pages me

i've got the third pager oh i see so

it's kind of like a

backup for the backup

good plan partner you see that's why

he's such a good cop

is that why because he's always thinking

yeah right

i don't know kendra i i think if i

really am pregnant she's gonna scare him

away

chase is not that kind of man good

god it's funny how things end up august

and i have been trying to have a baby

now for months

and it's just not working out

well have you seen a specialist or

anything like that yeah um

we saw one last month and she put me on

this precise schedule

and we're just we're just waiting for

the right moment

to have sex yeah

[Laughter]

i mean i've been reading books and i've

kept this accurate schedule of my

ovulation cycles energy cycles and

temperature cycles all supposed to

predict the perfect time for me to

conceive

what about august oh we got him on a

special diet too he used to drink this

fertility potion made of seaweed

it smells so bad

oh what is that seaweed

seaweed yeah seaweed you got a problem

with that

i don't know it looks like something

died in your glass

there are onions in here all right what

did i say there are onions in my falafel

that's the first thing i told her not to

do when she did it i bet it was her idea

big joke well i'm gonna deal with it

rusk

deal with it listen when i have onions i

get gas

and i say gas i mean bad gas you know

now i'm gonna be with you guys for a few

hours

if not more in a small car and i'm gonna

get

bad gas because of these onions but if

you can deal with it

so can i isn't this just great the

babysit

i heard that and i don't think it's very

funny

augustus tell him you're sorry i'm gonna

go call jody

all right i'm gonna eat the onions

listen um

why don't you go exchange that huh thank

you i think i will i appreciate it

all right are you the proprietor of this

place i think you are and i think you

know

without onions huh can you tell me that

would you

a funny joke i think

[Music]

thank you for your kind time

[Music]

[Applause]

hey don't even think about it

thanks

[Music]

[Music]

oh

come on release business

[Applause]

uh

[Music]

uh

[Music]

[Applause]

wow

[Applause]

come on

august

[Applause]

august

[Music]

[Applause]

this is no time for street sergeant

mcdonald get in the car

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

no time for street surfing

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

i say we get out of town and recruit i

second that motion

i mean i got to get out of town anyway

we might as well do it now

what do you think you know that's not a

bad idea

just get the hell out of dodge but where

would we go

well i know this included a little cabin

just on the outskirts joey and i spent

the weekend there

yo let's do it okay let's do it

let's do it

[Music]

no no it's easier than that the way to

beat the irs

is to not hide anything or at least make

it look like you're not hiding anything

fill out your forms completely and get

them in early

now what i would do is i would dutifully

report roma's

tax forms by saying that he made

five hundred thousand dollars from the

imports of of wolves

and car parts what i didn't report was

the 10 million dollars he made from the

drugs that were sewn into them

it's easy and what was your take under

ten thousand

boy you were getting ripped off well

it's more than you make

pay any attention to them august guys

like this are just all talk yeah well

listen i mean for 15 years i worked for

roma i was making crap

money and two years ago i realized just

how much i was being screwed by him

now and you didn't steal from him no i

didn't

somebody did and you can be sure he

thinks it's me how much

20 million oh 20 million how do you

steal that kind of money and get away

with it

it's not easy but uh i won't tell you

well listen all i know is i couldn't

have done it i don't have the balls to

do something like that i mean after all

i'm just a lame little career accountant

then lane try obnoxious well if roma

thinks you stole his money he's gonna be

one pissed off mobster trust me

yeah maybe man that doesn't bother you

no i mean it can't i mean

how much more pissed off can he be at me

i mean he knows i'm gonna testify

against him his anger's gotta have a

ceiling on it how much matter can he get

how many times can he kill me or how

slowly can he kill you

[Music]

still no word on mcdonald and brooks sir

we've got 12 units out there looking

and nothing it's like they disappeared

captain

somebody knows our every move it's gotta

be aroma

he's got somebody on the inside in the

department

i tell you if we lose rusk we're going

to be responsible for blowing one of the

biggest criminal trials in la history

keep trying guys look we're not going to

lose this thing

what are you waiting for

you call for me sir yeah come here close

the door

we got a security problem

[Music]

they slow down william my feet is so

hard

it must be made of wood or something i'm

sorry russ we forgot to bring your

pillow

look it's because my ass hurts okay you

want me to spell it out to you my ass

hurts i'm not a monkey

do you know why monkey's asses never

hurt do you know why

no but i have a feeling we're gonna find

out how you are because

monkeys have no nerve endings in their

ass so their ass doesn't hurt my ass

has nerve endings in it still alive

aren't you

well yeah if you call this living is a

caged lion

in a zoo alive is a monkey sitting in a

tree behind

bars alive well i got news for you that

monkey is more alive than i am because

no one is trying to kill him

and his ass doesn't hurt august

i'm getting a headache what's going on

let's do them before we get there

um we're close i mean i think we're

close i think we got to go left up here

somewhere up here

we're lost only no no no i know exactly

where we are we're not lost

we're lost he's lost i know you're lost

i can hear in your voice i'm not lost i

can hear it in your voice i'm not lost

do you hear what you're saying

you're saying your voice is quivering

when your voice quivers

it's a dead giveaway i i know you now

well enough to know when you do not have

any confidence in what you're saying

you know me well enough i do i've been

in this car i hear what you say i can

pick up i

can pick up like the vibrations and you

uh sound to me like a man who is lost

i'm not

lost i don't mean literally lost i mean

figuratively lost shut up

now i know they don't have a clean

restroom

chase

great what was i thinking marcus let me

give it a try yeah right

i've always had a knack for this sort of

thing

dial tone uh-huh i should find you some

water to walk on now

uh-oh i lost your calling card do you

remember your number uh

let's see kendra just got me that card

it's uh it's uh five five five

seven six um

no i don't remember the number here's a

quarter

where's this quarter the last time i

asked for it well i had it but i wasn't

gonna give it to you because

i didn't like you then but now that

you're my pal i figured

go ahead take it

[Music]

jensen it's mcdonald's where are you now

where are we

um actually captain i have no idea

i knew it we're lost okay

well tracing you just hang on

okay i got him we got you stay where you

are all right captain but

this time make it here before the bad

guys all right okay just stay put i'm

coming out there myself

thanks they're on their way

they're in mission canyon in the santa

clarita valley

that's the county what are you saying

captain

your line was tapped can you trace it

yes sir

[Music]

contact was made at rocita hub station

access code is king lincoln

zebra who the hell is that i'll find

out just a second

it's shepherd let's go i got an idea

here's mcdonald and here's brooks and

here's the tapper's location

damn it shepard's way ahead of us we'll

never make it in time

shepherd's code six nobody's heard from

him for over an hour okay

prep the chopper yes sir call him back

tell him about shepard tell him to get

the hell out of there

move him due west right come on guys

rusk will you sit down already it's

making me nervous

i can't sit down i can't i'm my

phonics is so sore i will probably never

ever sit again

put the car behind the barn no sense

advertising we're here

see that always thinking i noticed that

look fellas i want to take this time

to thank you for the diligent work

you've both done on

on my behalf i owe you one boy

ah forget about rusk no no

i want to take you guys out to lunch

dinner even my treat you picked the

place

russ no hard feelings my man but

after we drop you off at the courthouse

i don't want to ever see you again

yeah hanging out with you is kind of

like signing up for target

practice as the target

at two brutus don't you understand

my luck has changed look at me a hundred

bullets must have been

shot at me today and i don't even have a

scratch on me not a scratch

i'm telling you this is the new me i'm

lucky no more bad luck only good luck

certainly hope so for our sake

see it's really quite involved it has to

do with lunar orbits and

energy cycles this logic absolutely

escapes me but anyway

well how come you have a mark today yet

i did

no you didn't wait a sec

what day is today it's the 14th what

oh my gosh i miscalculated you missed a

day

today's the day oh my gosh i've got to

call august

right now i can't believe it

oh no no no no no no it's kendra

oh damn damn damn damn easy august it

can't be that bad

that bad that bad you have any idea what

it's like to go this long without sex

no right silly question

i hear you bro i know just what you're

going through

you know this is all your fault you know

that don't you

jensen will be here soon so let's move

so uh how often do lapd lieutenants

get the requisition county sheriff

vehicles

only in emergencies

that's good i don't know what hit him

let's go

i just can't believe that augustine

returned my first phone call

i guess i'll just page him again when i

get home yeah i know chase hasn't called

me either

you wanna know what jody i had a really

good time today

so did i

you know you're gonna have that baby

kendra and it's going to be beautiful

you think so i know so

thanks thank you which brings us to

photographing dogs

and why may you ask do dogs always

photograph with red eyes

well that's simple believe it or not you

see

dogs have red retinas when you

take a picture of a dog with a flash the

retina which is red

then reflects onto the film with the

flash and you suddenly

have a devil dog effect now how do i

know this i used to have a couple of

baby pitbulls

who are either of you guys listening to

what i have to say

hey artist i wish i could call jody

hey chase

i think you can

thanks you earned it kid

hello jody chase

hold on a second

[Applause]

this isn't funny

[Music]

hello

well it's about time

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

ice you drive i'll shoot come on get in

get in come on come on come on

come on

how'd you know can't tell you august

great secret

come on how'd you know okay i didn't

know it was a hunch you happy

good hunch there's no seatbelt back

back here

[Music]

those are police cars

is that one of ours come on babe come on

yeah i think it's one of ours

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

all right

[Music]

[Music]

so

nice shot jensen

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Applause]

oh

[Applause]

i think this road is going to end we'll

worry about that when we get there

having the problem with you guys in

spontaneity you can't keep being

spontaneous

that is

[Music]

way to go

[Music]

all right

[Music]

[Applause]

job well done i was never worried not

for a minute now

looks like your friend didn't make it no

lucy and oh well

he always loved barbecue

well i'm ready to go to the courthouse

yes i'm i'm ready to go and i can go as

soon as possible because i

am burning out here i don't tan well at

all

and i know

[Music]

hey fellas oh

fellas it's me russ how are ya

way to go russ you really nailed him

russ

rommel's going away for a long long time

yep sure is

well maybe you're not such a dweeb after

all oh you kidding me

uh you know what i was thinking though i

think i'm gonna sell this whole story to

the movies

yeah i think it would be killer don't

you i mean absolutely killer there would

be an instant box off of success i mean

an instant classic

real blockbuster and here's the best

part i'm gonna direct

yes yes i'm gonna direct integrity you

know my artistic vision

anyway jody got the test results back

she's not pregnant

all right well dodged that bullet anyway

huh

well you know august i kind of like the

sound of it i mean

me and jody married and a little baby

chase on the way yeah right chase

how about you and kendra yeah didn't

make it didn't get it but we're in a new

cycle

[Music]

you see fellas sometimes fantasies

can come true

let's do lunch

oh do you believe that

that little dweeb

you know i bet he did steal the 20 mil

i have no doubt

[Music]

whoa whoa oh yeah it's kendra my baby's

calling come on you got to take me home

well august i don't know chase you got

to take me home now okay

you know the captain feels pretty

strongly about paperwork we can do the

paperwork later chase you got to take me

home

chase get in the car okay partner if you

feel that strongly about it i feel that

strongly about it

oh yeah oh yeah hey august

yeah does this mean i get to watch trust

me my man

you don't want to see this

[Music]

you