Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,170 --> 00:00:03,529
(WHISPERS) Be the arrow. Be the arrow.
2
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,289
- Be the arrow. Be the arrow.
- (DOOR OPENS)
3
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:11,489
Chloe!
4
00:00:11,530 --> 00:00:14,049
(CHATTER)
5
00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:16,049
- (GASPS)
- Oh!
6
00:00:16,090 --> 00:00:17,449
Sorry.
7
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:18,929
Future gold-medallist over here.
8
00:00:18,970 --> 00:00:20,649
- Careful!
- Possibly bronze.
9
00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:22,889
Sophie! You made me miss my shot!
10
00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:25,329
Listen, you need to do something
about Hannibal. He reeks.
11
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,929
You reek like a butthole!
12
00:00:26,970 --> 00:00:28,529
- Chloe!
- I'm serious.
13
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,929
It's worse than normal.
14
00:00:32,410 --> 00:00:34,409
Nice shot, sweetie.
15
00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:38,329
(ALL GROAN)
16
00:00:38,370 --> 00:00:39,929
See what I mean?
17
00:00:39,970 --> 00:00:41,769
Yeah, it's gone up a notch.
18
00:00:41,810 --> 00:00:44,849
Don't worry, I'll give him a
bubble bath as soon as he wakes up.
19
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,769
He's been having a very long nap.
20
00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:49,409
Um, Chloe, how long
has Hannibal been taking
21
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,529
this particular long nap for?
22
00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:55,289
- Three days?
- Three days?!
23
00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:58,849
Hannibal!
24
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:01,569
Wake up, sleepyhead!
25
00:01:01,610 --> 00:01:03,449
Go on.
26
00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,129
Will he wake up?
27
00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:07,009
- Go, Greg.
- No.
28
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:09,809
- You do it.
- No.
29
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:13,609
- Get over there.
- Oh. (SIGHS)
30
00:01:15,370 --> 00:01:17,889
Chloe, sweetheart...
31
00:01:19,970 --> 00:01:21,369
Hannibal is dead.
32
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:23,289
Tired.
33
00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:27,049
He's dead tired. He's one tired turtle.
34
00:01:27,090 --> 00:01:28,889
- No. Chloe.
- Oh.
35
00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:31,769
Hannibal is dead.
36
00:01:31,810 --> 00:01:34,489
Now, sweetheart, everyone dies.
37
00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,009
- That's...
- Who wants ice-cream?
38
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,769
Don't let it melt, Chlo.
39
00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:53,729
Or, maybe you just need a quiet
moment to think about things?
40
00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:55,089
It's just...
41
00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:58,089
I'm never going to see
Hannibal ever again.
42
00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:02,169
Of course you'll see Hannibal again.
43
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,449
In heaven.
44
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,249
- BOTH: Heaven?
- Yes.
45
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:09,489
Heaven is this awesome
place we all go when we die,
46
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,522
and the best part is you get to see
47
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,929
all your favourite people from Earth,
48
00:02:13,970 --> 00:02:16,889
and they have unlimited ice-cream.
49
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:20,449
But Hannibal isn't people.
So, where does he go?
50
00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,249
- Well...
- Turtle heaven.
51
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:25,209
Made only for turtles.
52
00:02:25,250 --> 00:02:27,009
And it's turtley awesome.
53
00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:31,329
But if it's made only for turtles,
then how can I go there and see him?
54
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:34,529
You can get a visa, um, like a day pass.
55
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:35,849
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a day pass.
56
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:36,929
Greg, just...
57
00:02:36,970 --> 00:02:40,249
Like the time we went to Movie
World for Sophie's birthday?
58
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,449
Exactly! Exactly right.
59
00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:44,329
But the thing about turtle
heaven, it's way better,
60
00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:46,529
and that's where Hannibal
is right now, sweetie.
61
00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:48,449
And he's probably
having a great big swim,
62
00:02:48,490 --> 00:02:50,969
and humping one of Mum's
Mother's Day slippers.
63
00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:53,969
(LAUGHS) Yeah, that was
funny when he did that.
64
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:55,489
It was, wasn't it?
65
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:57,369
Hey, let's watch the video again.
66
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,089
No. It's funny.
67
00:02:59,130 --> 00:03:02,729
Hey, sweetheart, instead of focusing
on Hannibal in turtle heaven,
68
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:05,529
why don't we try
focusing on saying goodbye
69
00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:08,329
to Hannibal here on planet Earth?
70
00:03:08,370 --> 00:03:11,609
We could have a funeral
service this afternoon...
71
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,369
- Do you know what that is?
- Uh-uh.
72
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,729
Well.
73
00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:16,969
It's like a... a big party,
74
00:03:17,010 --> 00:03:22,409
where everybody who loved Hannibal
comes together to say goodbye.
75
00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:24,249
But not goodbye for long.
76
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,809
Check this video out. Look at him go.
77
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,009
- Whoa.
- (TURTLE SQUEAKS)
78
00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,129
You should never wear
that slipper again.
79
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:37,089
So, Hannibal is in the freezer,
80
00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,169
where he should remain nice
and fresh for his burial.
81
00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:40,249
Great!
82
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,609
Oh, maybe you could
take it one step further
83
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,569
and have him cryogenically frozen
84
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,889
so you will never have
to say that he died.
85
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:49,409
Oh. Em.
86
00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:52,049
Hey, we all miss Hannibal, yeah?
87
00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:55,609
The way he used to move
slowly around the house,
88
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:57,529
unless he was humping
your slipper, of course,
89
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,729
then he really... he really
found a second gear, didn't he?
90
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:02,209
Oh, Greg, this is not
about Hannibal being gone.
91
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:06,329
This is about whatever that
display was from you to Chloe.
92
00:04:06,370 --> 00:04:09,529
Um, Em, this is obviously a stage
of grief you are going through,
93
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:11,249
and that's... that is OK.
94
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:15,089
This stage of grief appears to be
where you are weirdly unimpressed
95
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,969
with your husband's efforts to
stop our daughter from crying.
96
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:21,129
But there's nothing wrong with
crying in a situation like this.
97
00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:22,969
Did you never have a pet die?
98
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:24,049
No.
99
00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:26,969
All of my pets ran away to the
farm in the middle of the night.
100
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,089
I got lucky.
101
00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:29,868
Oh, my gosh, you have
never been able to deal with
102
00:04:29,873 --> 00:04:31,609
death and we have never
been able to talk about it.
103
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,889
I'm sorry I like to
focus more on life, Em.
104
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:36,489
I didn't realise you were
so fascinated with death,
105
00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:39,089
I'm starting to think 'Em'
may be short for 'Emo'.
106
00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,089
Emo-Em.
107
00:04:41,130 --> 00:04:42,209
(SCOFFS)
108
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,329
You know, if I died tomorrow...
109
00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:45,689
That's literally never going to happen.
110
00:04:45,730 --> 00:04:49,689
No, but hypothetically, if I
got hit by a bus and I died...
111
00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,489
I've seen you cross the road
and you're very good at it.
112
00:04:51,530 --> 00:04:55,929
IF I died, what kind
of funeral would I want?
113
00:04:57,610 --> 00:04:59,649
- A nice one.
- Yeah.
114
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:02,969
Let me know when you figure it out.
115
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:05,049
And that's if you can
bring yourself to go there.
116
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:08,889
Just don't die tomorrow!
117
00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:09,930
It's a win-win!
118
00:05:15,730 --> 00:05:17,289
Hey, Chlo.
119
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,609
You know, I'm sorry that
I said that Hannibal stunk.
120
00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:22,969
It's OK. I guess turtles
stink when they die.
121
00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:24,010
I think we all do.
122
00:05:27,890 --> 00:05:31,449
Hey, Soph, do you believe in heaven?
123
00:05:33,410 --> 00:05:36,609
Um, you know, I'm not really sure.
124
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,929
'Cause, if there is a heaven,
then there's probably hell,
125
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,369
and hell sounds pretty yuck.
126
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,009
What's hell?
127
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:46,609
It's a place we go after you
die if you're a bad person.
128
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:47,689
Like a murderer?
129
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:51,369
Yeah, or that girl on the bus
who puts her feet on the seats.
130
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:54,609
You know, either way, they're
probably not real, Chloe.
131
00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:58,409
Can't anyone tell me where
Hannibal's really gone?
132
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:09,449
(SIGHS) Your wedding dress.
133
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,009
I'm sorry?
134
00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,449
You want to be buried
in your wedding dress.
135
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:18,089
You want everyone be
wearing a splash of red
136
00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:21,609
and you want Billy Joel's The Piano
Man playing at the church service.
137
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:23,209
Wow.
138
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,129
That's... not even close!
139
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:29,169
Wrong Billy Joel song? Um...
140
00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:30,449
We Didn't Start The Fire.
141
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,009
That's closer.
142
00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,049
Not Uptown Girl? I mean,
that's more Christie Brinkley,
143
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:35,090
so, it would be a bit weird.
144
00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:37,209
Oh, Greg, I want to be cremated.
145
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:40,649
(LAUGHS) Cremated?! What
do you mean, cremated?
146
00:06:40,690 --> 00:06:44,169
Well, I mean, I don't
care who starts the fire,
147
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:46,609
so long as they do, and I'm in it.
148
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:50,249
But, Em, we are going
to be buried together.
149
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,889
That's always been the plan.
150
00:06:51,930 --> 00:06:53,249
What plan?
151
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,689
Why would you even think that?
152
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,929
Because who would want to
go up in flames like that?
153
00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:58,409
What a horrible experience.
154
00:06:58,450 --> 00:07:01,169
Oh, yeah, like I would
rather be stuck in a box
155
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,889
with little worms eating at my flesh.
156
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:04,409
That... that sounds really lovely.
157
00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:07,489
OK, Em, you can't be the only
Butler not buried in the family plot.
158
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:09,249
- It'd be weird.
- Come on, Greg.
159
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:11,369
It's just, it's not
a big deal to me, OK?
160
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:14,249
Em, I can't believe you're saying this.
161
00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,929
We're Catholics, for God sake.
162
00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:19,529
Are we? (LAUGHS)
163
00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:23,209
That's funny! Ha-ha-ha.
164
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,249
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
165
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:36,009
I came as soon I could.
166
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:39,929
Oh, I had to leave a Zoom call with
Peter Fitzsimmons, he's in a tiz.
167
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:42,809
Running out of Australian
history to write about.
168
00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:46,929
Have you ever seen a six foot
eight man in a red bandanna weeping?
169
00:07:46,970 --> 00:07:50,249
It is unbecoming!
170
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:53,769
Audrey, can you tell me
where Hannibal's gone?
171
00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:55,889
That depends.
172
00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,249
Where do you keep your glasses?
173
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,769
I'm so sorry, Chloe.
174
00:08:05,810 --> 00:08:08,289
I didn't really get to know Hannibal,
175
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,129
on account of him being a turtle
and me being a grown woman,
176
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:14,329
but I can see the
fondness you had for him.
177
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:18,849
And the worst part is, nobody can
tell me what happens to Hannibal now.
178
00:08:18,890 --> 00:08:21,649
Is he in turtle heaven or turtle hell?
179
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,009
Or turtle purgatory.
180
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:26,049
When it comes to the
afterlife, it's hard to know.
181
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:28,449
But different religions
have different ideas.
182
00:08:28,490 --> 00:08:31,289
- So, not everyone believes in heaven?
- Oh, no.
183
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:34,249
The Hindus and Buddhists
believe in reincarnation.
184
00:08:34,290 --> 00:08:37,489
That's where you come
back after you die.
185
00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:40,209
So, I could see Hannibal again?
186
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:43,849
Yes, but he wouldn't be
Hannibal as you know him,
187
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,649
he could be a plant or
a bear or Rutger Hauer.
188
00:08:47,690 --> 00:08:49,489
Or a shark?
189
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,689
Why not?
190
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,329
Then there's Judaism,
which believes the Messiah
191
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,889
will arrive and we'll
rise again at once.
192
00:08:56,930 --> 00:08:59,089
- Like a big party?
- With an open bar, I hope.
193
00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:02,209
Further back, you have the Ancient
Egyptians, who were all about
194
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,609
ripping out your heart and weighing it
195
00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:07,489
while a dog-headed God judges you.
196
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:11,769
Or was that last New Year's
Eve on Zoe Foster Blake's yacht?
197
00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:13,609
Ha!
198
00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:21,889
Greg, I'm sorry I laughed,
but, we're not proper Catholics.
199
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:25,169
I don't know why this is a surprise,
Em, we got married in the church,
200
00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:26,689
our kids are baptised.
201
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:28,729
See, I thought that
those things were about
202
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:32,329
keeping our families happy and
getting the kids into good schools.
203
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,209
- (SIGHS)
- Oh, Greg, come on.
204
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,249
We are not practising Catholics.
205
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:39,209
- We blaspheme all the time.
- Yeah!
206
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:42,769
And when we do, I feel guilty
- like a good Catholic!
207
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:45,689
Then why do we only go to
church once a year at Christmas?
208
00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:47,169
We didn't even go last year.
209
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:48,849
That's because there were roadworks
210
00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:51,889
and it probably would have been
impossible to get a car park.
211
00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:53,729
Mm.
212
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,569
AUDREY: The truth is, Chloe,
213
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:03,729
nobody really knows what
happens in the afterlife.
214
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,169
And while I'm always hesitant
to praise your mother,
215
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:09,689
she's right about one thing:
216
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:14,369
the funeral ritual is
of the utmost importance.
217
00:10:14,410 --> 00:10:16,049
Why?
218
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,529
It's your last chance to
dazzle everyone on Earth.
219
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:20,689
I've left instructions for my own death.
220
00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:26,529
A horse-drawn carriage through the
city with cherubs leading the way.
221
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:30,969
The 'cherubs' are a male underwear
models who've had wings attached.
222
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:34,169
Yes! It's going to be quite special.
223
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:37,449
I want Hannibal's service
to be very special.
224
00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:47,009
How much do you know about Vikings?
225
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:54,049
Alright, alright. We may
not be MVP Catholics, Em,
226
00:10:54,090 --> 00:10:55,609
but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
227
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:58,609
It's how Brad and I were raised.
228
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:01,329
I guess Brad will be
buried with us too, then?
229
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,409
But, will he be on top
of you or on top of me?
230
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:05,849
I guess we'll all fit if we spoon,
231
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:10,289
- and then we can throw in Terry and Marlo...
- It's not an orgy, Em.
232
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:13,449
I mean, these traditions exist
within families for a reason.
233
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:16,009
Without them, people can get lost
234
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,129
and then it's a slippery
slope into who knows what.
235
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:19,170
Mum, Dad!
236
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:22,089
We're going to celebrate death
by setting Hannibal on fire
237
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:23,809
and sending him out with a bang!
238
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,329
Oh, how I love a good bang!
239
00:11:26,370 --> 00:11:28,889
- Oh.
- Bang! Boom!
240
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:38,889
Since when did medieval
re-enactments become a stage of grief?
241
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:42,129
Greg, if you're constantly going to
be referring to the stages of grief,
242
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,689
maybe you should learn
what they are first.
243
00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:46,289
And, look, just take a look.
244
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,209
Everybody is working together.
245
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,129
You know, I'm ordering
some pizzas for lunch.
246
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,529
Audrey's drinking Scotch.
247
00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:54,169
Mud on your eye.
248
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,849
Just don't you think it's weird
that we're about to send Chloe's
249
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,849
dead pet turtle down
a river in a fiery raft
250
00:11:59,890 --> 00:12:01,969
made of Barney Banana sticks?
251
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:03,169
ALL: No.
252
00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:05,329
I mean, we don't even know
if Chloe can make the shot.
253
00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:07,169
I can make the shot.
254
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:09,009
You know, I actually
think it's pretty cool.
255
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:11,929
If they did still did it for humans,
that might be something I'd like.
256
00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:13,649
I'm having a Viking funeral.
257
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:16,209
Nobody here is having
a funeral any time soon.
258
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,329
Or ever, if I have
anything to do with it.
259
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,569
Gee, Greg.
260
00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:22,649
You really know how to
put the 'fun' into funeral.
261
00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:23,690
Why is she here?
262
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,529
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Pizzas.
263
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,769
I'll get that.
264
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:30,289
- Who else did you invite, Chlo?
- No-one.
265
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:35,489
Oh, Father Michael.
Thank God you're here.
266
00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:38,489
We're having a little
crisis-of-faith situation.
267
00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:40,529
Oh, it's been so long.
268
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,729
I haven't seen you since Christmas!
269
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,729
The Christmas before!
270
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:48,489
Sometimes I sit down the back,
to be closer to the toilets.
271
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:50,289
Oh, of course!
272
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:52,409
Hello, Emily.
273
00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,329
Oh, F-Father...
274
00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:56,489
Michael.
275
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,129
Father Michael, the priest...
276
00:12:58,170 --> 00:12:59,369
From our church.
277
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:00,769
What are you doing... ?
278
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:02,969
Thank you both for
inviting me for lunch.
279
00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:05,409
I was just reminiscing
how, when I was growing up,
280
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,929
how comforting it was when
Father Julian would come over
281
00:13:07,970 --> 00:13:09,809
to the house for a Sunday lunch.
282
00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:11,929
Which you've never
mentioned to me, once.
283
00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:16,169
Yeah, well, you know, 30 years ago,
the very thought of a house visit
284
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:19,769
for a deceased turtle
would appear ludicrous!
285
00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:22,129
Ah, but, times change.
286
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,609
Here we are.
287
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,529
- Come on in, come on in, Father.
- Come in.
288
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:28,329
Sorry, where are our manners?
289
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:44,329
Oh, that is a nice red!
290
00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:47,289
Perhaps, Father Michael,
you would like to say grace?
291
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,929
Offer a few words to
help our family heal
292
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:52,409
and perhaps guide us
through this difficult time?
293
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:56,369
No. I would not... like to say grace.
294
00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:59,849
I would prefer to rap it!
295
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,049
Hahahaha.
296
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,569
Voom-vita-voom, vita-voom-voom-voom.
297
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,969
I have no idea what's going on.
298
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,489
I am Father Michael,
and I'm here to say,
299
00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:09,969
blessed are the pizzas
that we're eating today,
300
00:14:10,010 --> 00:14:12,289
made with love by Greg and Em,
301
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:15,329
and to them we say boom, boom, amen.
302
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:18,369
Do we have an amen?
303
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,569
ALL: Amen.
304
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:25,209
And they say male white
priests can't rap, eh?
305
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,929
Certainly can't remember
Father Julian doing that.
306
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:30,129
Well, you know, you have
to keep up with the times.
307
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:34,689
Did you know Hillsong released
three TikTak videos this week?
308
00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:37,089
- Oh!
- How wonderful is that?
309
00:14:37,130 --> 00:14:40,049
So, you're keeping
up with modern trends,
310
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,849
but keeping the
Catholic tradition alive?
311
00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:44,569
Hey, Father, why doesn't the
church allow female priests?
312
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:48,289
Soph, we don't talk about
religion at the table.
313
00:14:48,330 --> 00:14:50,049
Dad, he's literally a priest.
314
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,809
That's a good point. I have a question.
315
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:55,049
As Catholics, should we, A: be buried?
316
00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:56,849
Or B: buried together?
317
00:14:58,050 --> 00:14:59,489
Well, I don't know.
318
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:01,369
Each to their own, I suppose.
319
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:04,329
"Each to their own"?
320
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:07,569
Well, the Bible doesn't demand that.
321
00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:11,289
And quite frankly, our
graveyard is almost full.
322
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,809
And you know what they say.
323
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:16,409
They're absolutely
killing to get into it.
324
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:21,529
Oh, no, no, no... That's,
they're dying to get in.
325
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,249
F... Father Michael, are you sure?
326
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:27,489
Oh, yes, it is dying to get in. Yeah.
327
00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:29,654
- Father Michael...
- I think that Father Michael
328
00:15:29,655 --> 00:15:32,400
- has answered your question.
- Yeah, just to clarify...
329
00:15:32,401 --> 00:15:35,170
Father Michael, did you know we're
going to say goodbye to Hannibal
330
00:15:35,171 --> 00:15:39,569
by shooting a flaming arrow into
a boat made of icy pole sticks?
331
00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:42,010
Here is a question. What is
the Catholic Church's stance
332
00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:44,749
- on Viking funerals?
- Dad!
333
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:49,729
May Hannibal's passage to
Valhalla be a smooth one.
334
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:53,889
Excuse me.
335
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:59,209
You have a compelling energy
about you, I'm not sure what it is.
336
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,129
Was it the rap?
337
00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:05,009
Absolutely not. That was appalling.
338
00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:08,609
How would you feel
about writing a memoir?
339
00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:10,049
Um...
340
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:12,929
You know, Catholic priests
are very hot right now.
341
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:16,329
Very in. The Fleabag effect.
342
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:18,729
Well, yes, I'm quite familiar.
343
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,929
Our attendance has spiked
after the second season,
344
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,769
but then, eh, it fell away.
345
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:26,649
You may read from the Good Book, Father,
346
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:30,329
but maybe it's time
you wrote a GREAT one!
347
00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:32,249
Oh.
348
00:16:47,890 --> 00:16:49,449
(SIGHS) What are you doing?
349
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,849
I just needed some time to think.
350
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:54,649
What, about how you invited
a random priest for lunch?
351
00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:57,369
He's not... he's not random, Em.
352
00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:58,689
He's our priest.
353
00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:00,609
Not a very helpful one, though.
354
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:04,129
I mean, when the Bible does
it say, "Each to their own"?
355
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:08,569
Not in Corinthians, or
in... the other ones.
356
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,409
You know, Greg, instead
of thinking of yourself
357
00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:14,489
as the most religious
man since You Know Who,
358
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:16,969
try thinking about how you've made
359
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:20,729
a really difficult day
for Chloe all about you.
360
00:17:21,770 --> 00:17:23,449
- Em...
- (ZIPS UP TENT)
361
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:25,249
Em...
362
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,769
(SIGHS)
363
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,649
Oh, I've got enough
stories to fill a book.
364
00:17:32,690 --> 00:17:34,809
Yes, that would be the aim.
365
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:40,849
The visit to the Vatican
in 1976 springs to mind.
366
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:45,569
You would never guess who I had
a one-on-one conversation with.
367
00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:47,249
The Pope?
368
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:50,489
No, I didn't. Oh! Imagine, eh? No.
369
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:56,769
I randomly bumped into Marcia Hines.
370
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,729
Mm?
371
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:01,129
We stood there like two old friends,
372
00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:04,409
just chatting away for at
least, what, two minutes?
373
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,529
Heh!
374
00:18:05,570 --> 00:18:08,289
Oh, dear. Memories...
375
00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:22,089
What to wear to a Viking funeral?
376
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:26,689
I didn't mean to make
today all about me.
377
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,249
I, um... I just don't know.
378
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:32,969
I-I, finding out we're not on the
same page with our family traditions
379
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,529
has kind of really freaked me out.
380
00:18:34,570 --> 00:18:39,049
Greg, it's OK if we're not on
the same page about everything.
381
00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:41,809
I know. But this is
an important page, Em.
382
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:44,249
I understand if you don't want
to watch test cricket with me
383
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,769
for five days, but... I get that.
384
00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:48,129
I have a theory.
385
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,649
Do you want to hear it?
386
00:18:49,690 --> 00:18:51,769
- Four day tests?
- No.
387
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:55,929
Not Marlo's one that Katy Perry
is actually JonBenet Ramsey?
388
00:18:55,970 --> 00:18:58,089
That... that does not
add up on so many levels.
389
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,449
- No.
- No.
390
00:18:59,490 --> 00:19:04,889
No, my theory is, well, that
your born-again Catholicism,
391
00:19:04,930 --> 00:19:08,449
it has very little to do with
religion or family tradition
392
00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:11,769
or what happens to our remains...
393
00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,889
... and more to do with loss.
394
00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:16,049
I think it's a fear of being separated
395
00:19:16,090 --> 00:19:20,009
from those you love the most,
which is me and the girls.
396
00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,969
A bit up yourself, aren't you?
397
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:27,569
(LAUGHS) Am I wrong?
398
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,569
No. No.
399
00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:34,929
Being separated from you and
the girls for all of eternity,
400
00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:37,209
that is my idea of hell.
401
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:42,569
And I wish I could talk about
this stuff the way you do.
402
00:19:45,370 --> 00:19:47,569
It freaks me out too.
403
00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:52,569
I just... I deal with it better by
wanting to talk about it. It's...
404
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,729
OK. OK.
405
00:19:56,770 --> 00:20:00,209
Just don't die any time soon, yeah?
406
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,689
Not today, not tomorrow,
not next week, not ever.
407
00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:04,369
Just don't die ever.
408
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:06,169
Just don't die.
409
00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:08,609
Well, I'll do my very best.
410
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:11,129
OK. Deal.
411
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:20,209
Now... how about wearing your
suit to a turtle Viking funeral?
412
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:23,449
Oh, I think we can do better than that!
413
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,419
Well, Butlers, in keeping
with Viking tradition,
414
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:38,859
we have filled Hannibal's vessel
with all the things he needs
415
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:44,139
to satisfy his turtle
desires in Valhalla.
416
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:48,859
So, mainly minced meatballs
and one of Mum's slippers.
417
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,499
Shall we watch the video?
418
00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,659
It was pretty funny, wasn't it?
419
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:52,859
Yeah, probably... probably not.
420
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:57,259
Let's do this, Chlo.
421
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,399
Just be really careful.
422
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:17,159
(AULD LANG SYNE PLAYS ON BAGPIPES)
423
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:23,879
Hannibal, nobody has been able to
tell me exactly where you're going,
424
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,839
but that's OK, because
you'll get to find out
425
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,879
what happens when we die before
we do, which is pretty cool.
426
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,719
I'm sad you're gone, but
you're not really gone,
427
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,959
because you'll always be in my heart.
428
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:41,479
That was perfect, Chlo.
429
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:42,520
Hey, sweetheart...
430
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,879
... are you, uh, are
you sure you can do this?
431
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,559
OK.
432
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,679
- Careful.
- I will.
433
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:02,759
Got it?
434
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,639
Remember, Chlo, close
enough is good enough.
435
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,199
Just do your best.
436
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:15,759
Be the arrow. Be the arrow.
Be the arrow. Be the arrow.
437
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:23,800
Be the arrow.
438
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,159
- Yes! Give the girl a gold now.
- You got it!
439
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,359
Woo-hoo-hoo!
440
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:37,599
No.
441
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:47,399
(AULD LANG SYNE PLAYS MOURNFULLY)
442
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,679
Vale, Hannibal.
443
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,199
ALL: Vale, Hannibal.
444
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,919
Did I ever tell about the famous
squash ball in the glove story?
445
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,439
Yep. A couple of times.
446
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,439
Online etiquette for men is the
topic du jour today, Greggles.
447
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,199
And I believe you've
had quite the run-in?
448
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,119
Well, I wouldn't quite
call it a run-in, Tez.
449
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,239
Well, these are not all of mine.
450
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,759
They literally have your name on them.
451
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,039
How did they get in? This is
supposed to be a private portal.
452
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,639
We've been hacked, Greg.
453
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:38,919
- Say "breathe."
- (SHUTTER CLICKS)
34472
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.