Original subtitles

Michael.

Katherine, you are looking lovely as always.

How was your flight?

And, George, old boy, thanks for coming out

- for the wedding. - We're tired, Michael.

We'd like to get settled.

Sure. Where's Jane?

We assumed she was already here.

What do you mean? You took separate taxis

from the airport?

No, she never got on the plane in Chicago.

When we didn't hear from her, we just thought

she'd taken an earlier flight.

Yeah, well, she's not home.

And we're supposed to get married today.

I mean, does that sound strange to anybody or is it just me?

I hope something hasn't happened to her.

I think I might know where she is.

I'm gonna make a phone call. But I hope I'm wrong.

Maybe Jane's finally come to her senses.

Yes?

Hi, Alex? It's Michael Mancini.

Michael.

You usually hang up by now. That's your pattern, right?

Wait until you hear my voice and then hang up?

Look, is Jane there with you? I need to talk to her.

Oh, she's not in L.A.?

- That's very interesting. - Don't get so smug, pal.

She probably took an earlier flight.

Or she missed her plane.

We were up late last night, celebrating.

Celebrating? What do you mean, celebrating?

Well?

I don't know where the hell she is.

Hi. Thanks for coming.

You want to explain why you're staying in a hotel,

five minutes from where you live?

I can't face Michael right now.

We're making a huge mistake getting married again.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Wait a second, last week you were crazy about him.

That was before I spent time with Alex.

Now I'm confused.

You were supposed to be working.

We were. Absolutely, we were.

We designed a whole entire line in three days.

We were totally in sync, I had the best time.

Well, it sounds like a huge success.

I don't see the problem.

It is a problem.

I kissed him. I mean, I really kissed him.

Oh, God, you had sex with him.

No, I didn't. But I thought about it.

How bad is that?

I'm thinking about having sex with another man

the night before my wedding.

The same man I slept with the night before my first wedding.

Well, at least your consistent.

Listen, a lot of women

look up their old boyfriends before they get married.

It's a big commitment and they get scared.

People will look for any reason to bail.

But what if it's more than that? I mean, how can I spend

the rest of my life with Michael,

knowing there's another man out there

I'll always feel connected to?

It's called baggage.

I've got lots of it, especially with Peter.

It doesn't mean we belong together.

I don't know.

Maybe you're right.

Of course I'm right. It's pre-wedding jitters.

The best cure for that

is a honeymoon.

Mmm.

??

??

??

? Days pass ?

? And I'm waiting, waiting, waiting ?

? For my blood to return ?

? Weeks pass ?

? And I'm waiting, waiting, waiting ?

? For my anger to burn ?

? Faces change ?

? And I'm reaching, reaching ?

? For a hand in the dark ?

? But still I'm numb ?

? I feel nothing at all ?

? Days pass ?

? I feel nothing at all ?

? Weeks pass ?

? Can't look down to the fall ?

? From grace ?

? And I wish I could scream or smile ?

? Something that makes me feel ?

? For a while ?

? Wanna feel the rain on my face ?

? As long as I'm ?

? Falling from grace... ?

- Morning. - Morning.

So, exactly how awkward is this gonna be, huh?

I mean, do I get a cup of coffee, peck on the cheek,

or do I have to throw my clothes on and scoot out the backdoor.

I don't have a backdoor.

Uh, that's Kyle.

We usually play basketball in the morning.

Uh, dang.

Hmm, want your jersey back?

No, no, keep it on.

Um, why don't you wait in the bedroom?

I'll just be a minute. Okay?

Um, hey, bro.

Hey, you. You look beat.

- You sure you want to do this? - Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem.

Can you, can you give me a couple minutes...

Wait a minute. You had a date

after the bachelor party last night?

Uh, I wouldn't call it a date, really.

Who was it?

No, come on,

you have to tell me who... Is it Megan?

Oh, God, please,

tell me that it wasn't Lexi.

- I'll see you downstairs. - My new waitress?

Does it really matter who it is, uh, was?

Ah...

she's still here and you want me to vamanos?

- Bingo. - No, no sweat.

You, uh, um...

well you get some rest.

- Yeah, yeah, all right. - Yeah, you...

Okay.

So am I gonna see you tonight?

Uh, no, um, I'm going to Jane's wedding.

- Oh. - Well, then, tomorrow?

I've got this fabulous place in the marina I want to take you.

Time out, time out. Can we slow it down here?

Ah, we've hit the awkward moment.

That didn't take long.

Lexi, come on, don't do that. Someone could be watching.

I know. That's the fun of it.

Come on, Ryan.

You tell me this doesn't turn you on.

Hey, Kyle.

Hang on a second, will you?

Listen, do me a favor and tell Amanda

that she can show Eve's apartment whenever she wants,

and I'll need an extra key for my place.

- You got it. - And you can...

congratulate me anytime you want, buddy.

Maybe my boss thinks we're rushing into things.

Only if you do.

Do you think we're rushing into things?

Absolutely.

One that got away?

I had to throw him back.

He was too small.

Hi, Pam,

it's Michael Mancini. It's been a while, huh?

Oh, um, looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.

- By any chance, is Jane there? - I found Jane.

Never mind, Pam. See you at the wedding.

Where is she?

- Is she okay? - She's fine.

She's back from Chicago.

She flew in early this morning.

Then where has she been all day? Why didn't she call me?

Do I look like her secretary?

She has last minute things to do, bride things.

Like what, give the groom a heart attack?

Where is she, Amanda? I need to talk to her.

Sorry, it's bad luck before the wedding.

Bad luck is when your fianc�e is missing.

Oh, don't get dramatic, Michael. Just do your part

and show up at the church. Jane will be there, I promise.

All right.

So this is the big emergency

you called me about?

Oh, come on, what'd you want me to do?

Go to my business dinner

with my dress unzipped down to my ass?

Nice package. Who you selling to?

You sound jealous.

- Hmm. - Oh, Ryan,

you want me to cancel my business dinner

so you can take me to the wedding?

Why would you even want to go to the wedding?

I mean, you don't care about those people.

No, but I care about you. That's all that matters.

Are you ashamed to be seen with me?

No.

But Kyle's my brother, Amanda is my sister-in-law,

and you don't like

either of them.

Good point.

Mmm. You know what?

Consider my business dinner canceled. Now, unzip me.

Mmm, I got to go.

Oh, I bet I can make you change your mind.

No, you can't. Don't do that.

Don't do what?

- Don't do this? - Yeah.

Yeah? Mm-mm.

Uh-uh. No, no, no.

Let's stay out here so the whole world can watch.

Lexi?

Megan? You left the door unlocked?

- Just stay right there. - Are you here?

- Yes.

- Yep, yep, hey. - Oh, hey.

Listen, here are the notes you wanted.

You didn't have to bring them by tonight.

Oh, no, it was on my way. I'm going to, uh,

Michael and Jane's wedding.

Oh, you bringing a date?

No. Uh, no guys for a while after Ryan.

I know, I know, he's cute,

but he's bad news.

I should have trusted my first impression.

You couldn't stand him, as I recall.

Well, first he's

pseudo-romantic and the next, he's unbelievably arrogant.

He thinks he's God's gift to women.

What a bastard.

All right, the place is filling up.

Is Jane here? Did you see her?

No, not yet.

Oh, I'm gonna kill her when this is over.

Now, tell me, what am I doing wrong here?

You look fine, Michael. Don't worry about it,

you look great. Why don't you go over your vows, huh?

I know them cold... Jane, you were my first wife,

my favorite wife, and I hope to God my last wife.

You know, you're such an idiot.

That's not gonna cut it, Michael.

Get me a pen and paper, will you?

Vows are supposed to be romantic, Michael.

You're telling the entire world

how you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman.

It's about saying,

"It doesn't matter about the past.

"Anything that happened before I met you, it's not important.

"What's important is that we have each other.

That's, and that's the important thing."

We talking about Jane here?

'Cause it sounds like we're talking about Eve.

Do you want me to help you or not?

Yeah, sure, of course.

Just get it all down, okay? And the gooier, the better.

Make sure I can read your handwriting, too, huh?

Maybe I should have a blindfold and a cigarette.

Oh, come on, Jane.

Michael's waiting at the altar and he is crazy about you.

For the first time in his life,

he's actually ready to be faithful.

Oh, I'm sorry, that didn't come out right.

Well, just think of all you're getting.

You've got a guy who's doing okay, financially.

He's not being sued by anyone that I know of.

And he's got a great family.

At least, a big family that doesn't live anywhere near you.

At least, not yet.

Oh, I'm sorry, that came out all wrong.

Because it is.

All wrong.

Oh.

Jane!

What time you got?

Hey.

Hmm?

Oh, so it was Megan in your apartment this morning.

Let it go, Kyle.

Limo's here.

Limo's finally gotten here.

Oh, great. It's about time.

Okay, well, this is it.

Yeah.

I am so sorry.

Um, Jane's not coming.

You want me to handle this?

It's all right, I got it.

Well.

You're probably all wondering why I called you here tonight.

Well, I wish I could think of a joke right now.

Warm up the crowd.

My father were here, you know...

He's got a million of them.

Um, okay.

Okay, here's one, here's one.

A guy walks into a bar and, um...

You know what, forget that one 'cause we're in a church.

Here we go, here's another one.

Um, guy and his wife have been married for 50 years,

and, uh, they go to the doctor and the wife says...

The wife says...

You know what?

There is no wife.

And, uh, there is no wedding.

And, uh...

that's the joke.

Michael, I'm sorry about what...

- Please let me explain. - Explain what?

That you don't want to marry me?

I got that, loud and clear.

So did everybody in the church.

No, Michael, that's just it!

I do want to marry you, I just... I thought I'd feel relieved,

like, "Whew, glad I didn't make that mistake again,"

but I couldn't sleep all night.

I just, I felt empty.

Oh, yeah? Well, get used to it, Jane.

Michael, please try to understand!

I was having a panic attack!

Oh, sure, a panic attack!

I think I know what that's like.

That's like being a groom at the wedding, with 150 guests,

and the bride doesn't show.

That's like getting all dry in the mouth,

breaking out in a cold sweat.

You can't breathe, and then you end up

humiliating yourself in front of everybody you know.

You know what, Jane?

I think I prefer your panic attack to mine any day.

Michael, I'm sorry about what happened.

I just got confused.

I was in Chicago with Alex, and we were designing together,

and it was, it was all so intense,

I just, I got swept away into it.

Thanks, I feel a lot better now.

Michael, listen to me. I always do this.

I get so work-obsessed that I forget

what's really important to me.

But I want to change.

I want you to be the most important person in my life.

Michael, please give me a second chance.

Jane, you are about 12 hours too late.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I signed up for a double shift in the E.R.

I don't want to keep them waiting.

They may think I'm not coming.

- Hey, sweetness. - Hello.

- How you doing? - Good.

You still on your mission to get Jane hitched?

Oh, yeah, it's part of my employee benefits package.

Yes, and they all come to you, too, don't they?

All the damsels in distress, like Eve,

your newest best friend.

Did you know that all the references

that she gave me were phony?

- Every last one of them. - Really?

- That's odd. - No, it's more than that.

If somebody lies to you about one thing,

they usually lie about other stuff, too.

- You're making way too much of this. - No, I don't think I am.

Come on, babe, nothing about Eve adds up.

Why would she give up this record contract?

It just means we won't have to give her a raise.

There's Peter; I'll be right back.

- Hello. - Hello.

You look like you want something.

Well, Jane needs your help.

What does she need, directions?

She didn't quite make it to the church, you know.

She feels terrible about blowing the wedding.

Well, how do you think Michael feels, huh?

Don't you think he might feel a little worse?

Standing there on the altar, not in private,

being turned down by the woman that he loves,

wearing his heart on his sleeve.

I mean, I can't imagine how that would feel.

She made a huge mistake; she admits that.

But now she wants to make it up to Michael,

but he won't listen to her.

Well, I can't really say that I blame him.

Oh, please.

Haven't you ever done something incredibly stupid

that you wish to God you could take back?

- Maybe. - Then help her.

If not for her, for Michael.

I mean, he still loves her and this could be his last chance.

The only thing that's holding him back is his pride.

- Well, I don't know what I can do. - Just try.

That's all I'm asking.

All right, I'll try.

For you.

Thank you.

He's probably gonna be stuck

at the hospital for a while.

Maybe I can work something out.

I assume lunch is on the house.

Thank you.

Big night, huh?

Another kid with the flu.

You know, Doctor, you are so good with kids.

- Maybe someday... - Uh.

I didn't say it.

Michael, hey.

Keeping busy tonight?

Yeah, that's the whole idea.

Listen, if you got a minute,

- I could use your help with something. - Huh?

- You speak Italian, right? - Mm-hmm.

I got an Italian patient,

I can't understand a word she's saying.

Well, I guess I'm your guy then.

Great.

Oh, my God, I've been set up.

You don't have to stay for the wedding, but, Michael, please!

Listen to my vows.

Michael Mancini, I love you.

In all the years we spent together...

and all the years we spent apart,

I never met a man who could drive me so crazy.

Or make me laugh so hard or cry so much

or feel so deeply as you do.

And, in all the years to come, I never will.

You are my one true love.

I don't know what to say.

You could try your vows, Dr. Mancini.

"Jane, when I look into your eyes,

"the past and all its pain disappears.

"The other lives we've lived don't matter,

"the other people we've loved fade from our hearts.

"Whatever was before, I don't need to know.

"I only need to know you love me and my heart is...

whole at last."

Look, Jane, I don't deserve you, but...

but if you love me,

I'll be a better man because of it.

You're up.

Oh, uh, do you, Jane Andrews,

take Michael Mancini as your lawful wedded husband,

to have and to hold, for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health,

all the days of your life?

I do.

And do you, Michael Mancini, take Jane Andrews

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to have and to hold, for better,

for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and health, all the days of your life?

I do.

The rings?

Right here.

Just like that.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

And now, by the power vested in me by the state of California,

I pronounce you husband and wife.

May I?

- Sure. - Oh.

I've never been a big fan, you know that.

But maybe I was wrong about you, Michael.

Your vows were very moving.

Yeah, too bad your husband had to leave

before I hit my stride, huh?

All right, Mom, that's enough.

Lay off that champagne.

I love you, too.

Thank you, Kenneth.

You didn't think they'd go through with it, did you?

No, I didn't, but you know,

I have learned never, ever, ever to bet against you.

Well, that's a compliment.

You know, I was never a big believer in marriage,

but you converted me.

- Cheers. - Thank you.

Well, you're welcome.

Vodka, neat.

Alex?

What are you doing here?

It's like an accident on the freeway:

tragic, but I felt compelled to watch.

Okay, I'm gonna leave you two to, uh, talk shop.

You're not still campaigning to win Jane back, are you?

She's a married woman, Amanda.

There's nothing more I can do.

And don't worry, I'm not planning

to take my business to another agency.

Not this week.

Thank you for coming with me... I couldn't face

another wedding reception alone.

Out of morbid curiosity...

I wanted to see your repeat performance.

Oh, you should've heard Michael and Jane's

wedding vows they wrote for each other.

Oh, my gosh, they were so beautiful, I almost cried.

Yeah, well, that's what weddings are designed to do...

Prepare you for all the crying you're gonna do

- after the marriage. - Oh, come on,

not everyone's as cynical as you.

I keep trying to tell myself I'm fine without a guy,

but you know what?

Deep down I am miserable.

And you really think that true love is out there

for you somewhere waiting?

You know, what is wrong with a little romance?

I mean, look at Jane. I mean, she took a chance.

Michael could've turned her down, but, no,

she put everything on the line and...

Well, maybe that's what you have to do when you love someone.

Why don't you save this crap for somebody who cares, hm?

Ryan would understand.

May I have this dance?

Sure, Doctor.

- Sorry, Peter, girl talk. - Oh.

We have a problem.

Kyle found out you lied on your job application.

Why did you even give him any references?

What was I supposed to do, leave the whole thing blank?

- That would've looked so much worse. - No,

you don't understand... Kyle will not let this slide.

He's gonna keep on digging, and once he starts checking up

on you, he's gonna find out about me.

You know what, I'll tell him that

everybody in the music business

- lies about their gigs. - No, I will talk to him.

Just... be more careful from now on.

Okay. It won't happen again, I promise.

What the hell are you doing here?

- Excuse me. - Excuse me for one second.

I was curious.

Last I heard, your wedding was off.

Yeah, well, it's obviously on again, okay? So get lost.

No, no, no, not until I have a dance with the bride.

Unless your famous temper won't allow it.

No, you go ahead and dance with Jane,

and burn the moment into your brain,

so you'll know what you'll be missing the rest of your life.

Don't you worry about me, Mancini... I got plenty

of memories, some of them as fresh as this flower.

Hey, hey, I know what you're up to, you little Viking worm.

But now that Jane and I are married, nothing you can say,

nor anything that happened in Chicago,

is gonna make any difference.

So if we were holding hands or... even kissed each other,

that's not a problem?

Not at all.

Good.

How do you feel about tongues?

- Tongues? - Burn that

into your brain, Mancini.

I'm surprised Michael's vows were so deep.

He seems like such a shallow guy.

Well, sometimes guys can surprise you.

Yes, they can.

Thank you. You're beautiful.

Honey, let me just give you just a little bit of advice.

Don't make the same mistake I did and move in with him.

You see, Peter's just into it for the chase, right?

Once he's got ya, he's already looking for a way to dump ya.

Get the hell out of here, will you, please?

Oh, Peter, so sorry.

Just trying to give her a heads-up

like you never did, hm?

Excuse me, I'm cutting in.

- You can't do that. - Honey, I just did.

Couldn't wait for me to ask you?

Oh, no, actually.

You know me... I'm always in a hurry.

Uh, I-let me...

Lexi, come on, not here.

Oh, no? How about over here?

- Cut it out; you're making a scene. - Really?

Look, this is a wedding, Lexi.

If you're that desperate for attention,

why don't you go to a bar?

Now, that is a really good idea.

Yes, I think I'm gonna go downstairs

and find a man who can handle me.

Why settle for Superboy when I can have Superman, huh?

I'll just go powder my nose first.

Well, the book is going to be huge.

It's gonna take the medical community by storm.

Tell me what you think about this title.

The Past Is Stone, the Future Is Water.

- Huh? - Wow.

I'm gonna have to get a copy of that.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

You know, um, I think I better stop dancing.

- I'm a little tired. - Oh, come on, Megan.

The evening is young, huh?

Well, it took you long enough.

You think I can't tell you're baiting me?

Honey, if it worked, who cares? Now, lock the door.

No.

- I'm here to give you a warning. - Oh.

Don't ever embarrass me like that again.

Embarrass you? Honey, you loved it.

That's why you're here; you're back for some more.

No, no.

Is sex all that matters to you, Lexi?

No, there's always love, and I love having sex with you.

- Now, take off your clothes. - No. You take off my clothes.

All right, honey, that's more like it.

- How do you want it, slow or fast? - Fast.

Oh...

Oh...

Megan, wait.

Let her go... there's nothing you can say to her now.

- What was I thinking! - Honey, the question is,

what were you thinking with?

I'm through playing your stupid, sick little games, Lexi.

Honey, you'll be back for more.

Don't count on it.

??

Ah, don't touch that... I'm still working on it.

I can't believe you flew in for the wedding.

I'd never turn down an invitation from you.

Well, you weren't invited.

That's all right, I forgive you.

Oh, beautiful pearls.

Oh, thank you. They're from my birth mother.

She couldn't make it.

So... did I mention the dress is incredible?

Yes. Just consider it a wedding present.

No, no.

- I can't do that. - Yes, you can, and you will.

Just don't let anyone copy it.

It's a work of art, one of a kind.

- Just like you. - Thank you.

Can I have your attention, please?

I think it's time for a toast.

If I could have Jane, Michael, please?

There we go. Oh, you're all set.

- Here you go, Jane. - Thanks.

Well... I think we'll all agree

that finding true love is difficult enough,

but finding it twice, well... that in itself's a miracle.

All I can say is,

may you two be as happy for the rest of your lives

as you are right now. Congratulations.

Where are you two going

on your honeymoon?

Cabo San Lucas, and you're all invited.

- Anything else you'd like to know? - Isn't it cold there

- this time of year? - That's okay,

- we won't be leaving the room. - Oh! Hey, -

here's another piece of... information

we all'd like to know.

How was Chicago, Jane?

Uh, pretty steamy, the way I heard it?

- Michael, this isn't funny. - Oh, no, no, come on.

I'm sure you put in some long hours with your boss.

Oh, yeah, it must've been rough.

You know, they were making clothes and making out.

- Don't you dare do this! - No, no, come on, Jane.

Oh, don't leave yet. I'm not finished.

You are an ass. I'm taking you home.

Hey, I have a right to know.

I'm sorry, you see...

when Jane and I were first married,

she was going to school with this, uh,

Nordic poster boy over here,

Alex Bastard.

Um...

sorry... Bastian.

And now, uh,

here it is, eight years later, and they're still hanging out.

Now, see, I... I find that kind of strange,

really, because...

these two lovebirds only did it twice.

Once before our first wedding...

and now before our second.

You know what? I guess you got to be

really great in bed if you save yourself up for eight years.

Is that right, Alex?

Oh, I'm sorry, is that right, Jane?

Huh? I-Is he great in bed?

Forget the honeymoon, Michael.

I want a divorce.

Ma'am, right over here.

Excuse... Wha...?

- Oh! - Jane, wait.

Well, congratulations, kids.

Where to?

His place.

??

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good.

That's a wrap, folks. All right, let's pack up.

Hey, hey, nobody stops playing yet.

Paid you guys for three hours and, uh...

still got, um... ten minutes left.

Oh, come on.

All right, well, we'll give him another tune.

Megan! My angel of mercy!

Oh, dance with me, baby.

Not so fast! I'm gonna get dizzy.

- No, I'm sorry. - Come on.

Oh, God, where is everybody?

Oh, you didn't hear? Jane is divorcing me.

Oh, yeah, which technically ended the... the reception,

which is namely why everybody banana split.

You're getting a divorce?

How long was I downstairs at the bar?

Aw, come on, Megan, you know how fast I work, hmm?

Oh, my God, what did you do?

I just asked her a very simple question

about the weather in Chicago,

which led to a very simple question

about premarital infidelity,

which was namely, did she have sex with Alex?

Oh.

Yep, that little catch in your throat,

that's what everybody said.

You said that in front of everyone?

Yeah, well, what was I supposed to do?

I mean, I find out after 30 minutes of marriage

that she's been unfaithful to me.

But are you sure about that?

I mean, did you see her cheating with Alex?

No, of course not.

But, you know...

they're working together day and night in Chicago

and they were kissing, and you know what that leads to.

Did you see their flesh flapping,

their... bodies slapping?

- Hmm? - 'Cause I did.

What?! Wait a second, you saw Jane and Alex having sex?

Megan, how-how is that possible?

No. No, no, no, Ryan and Lexi, here.

- Oh... good. - In the lounge.

I mean, I'm sorry; that's terrible.

Oh, Michael...

that is stone-cold proof, half-naked bodies.

You don't have stone-cold proof like that.

Oh, why, because I didn't catch her in the act, huh?

Yeah, well, I saw it in her eye; it was right there.

I saw it all.

It's not the same thing, Michael.

Oh, writhing bodies.

Oh, you see what I saw.

Groaning, moaning, the mirror shaking.

Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan, Megan,

please, that's enough.

I mean, I figure I'm paying $17,000 for this dance.

I'd really like to enjoy it.

Fine.

Show me what you got.

Oh, oh.

I actually begged that jerk to marry me

in front of all my friends.

I can't believe what a fool I've been.

Jane, I wish I could make this all go away.

Just know that I'm here for you.

I'm sorry, Alex.

Oh.

You've been incredible.

I don't know what I would have done without you.

Why don't you take a bath?

I'll get you a drink.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

This is his original line.

He didn't use any of the dresses we designed in Chicago.

I don't believe this.

Jane, where are you?

I've got your wine.

My life just keeps getting better and better.

I can explain.

Don't bother.

I can figure it out.

Last week in Chicago was just a game to make me think

I was helping you with your spring line.

I know that's how it looks,

but believe me, I am planning to use some of your designs.

Stop lying to me.

You took everything you know about me,

everything I told you I dreamed of doing,

and used it to get me into bed?

Because I love you.

I've said that so many times.

I'm saying it again.

I love you.

Oh, that's not love, Alex.

That is pathetic.

Damn it.

Running back to Michael, huh?

That loser?

Go ahead, be bored out of your mind in a week

and you won't have me to come crying to, then what?

- Oh, I don't need you. - Yes, you do.

If you want to get anywhere in this business.

Design is not your strong suit, Jane.

- Your body, that's the ticket. - God,

- Michael was right about you. - Be careful,

I'm your biggest client, remember?

Ready to apologize?

When you're wearing polyester

in hell.

Jane, wai...

You know what?

I don't... I don't have any liquor in my house.

Then we'll go to my place, come on.

No, no, I don't want this buzz to wear off.

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.

What?

I don't know if I'm sick because I'm losing Jane

or because I'm just sick.

Uh-oh.

You know what, why don't you take a...

I'm gonna hold you, take a deep breath.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay, breathe out.

Oh, do you feel better?

No, I feel like throwing myself off a roof.

Oh.

I know how to get up there. Come on.

No, no, Megan, Megan, you're supposed to talk me out of it.

You're supposed to talk me out of it.

You know, there's being supportive

and then there's being crazy.

And you're talking crazy.

No, not to... I'm not talking about killing yourself, goofy.

Come on, this'll be fun.

Come on.

- Shh. - Come on.

All right.

Shh.

All right?

Okay?

All right, steady as she goes now, come on.

- Oh, okay. - There we go.

- All righty. - Shh, shh.

Oh, good, he's not home.

Come on, come here.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay, out of the way, Xena.

Out of the way, right there.

Stay clear now.

Oh!

Geez.

Geez!

All righty.

Ow. Oh.

Why... Why are we breaking into Ryan's apartment again?

Oh, geez, that hurt.

Oh, geez.

Uh-oh.

Oh, oh, geez.

Oh.

All right, got us some beers.

Let's keep the buzz going.

Oh, oh, geez.

Now, Michael, you've got to keep this a secret, okay?

This is a very special place I'm taking you to

when you just want to forget about the rest of the world.

Oh, yeah, um, don't worry about me.

No one's talking to me, anyway.

All right now.

Hey, hey.

- What? - Hey, this is Ryan's bedroom.

Shh.

What, did you two, um...

No.

No, we didn't.

No, no, no, men first on this situation here.

- Okay. - Hold on.

Oh, I was so angry at Alex.

I couldn't even think straight.

Oh, God.

I don't have a husband,

I don't have a client,

I probably don't even have a job,

and I don't even have my shoes.

How'd I make such a mess of my life?

You had a lot of help.

Oh.

And I think... I think Lexi likes to talk dirty.

Yeah, I think she appears to be the kind of person

who likes to talk dirty.

I'm sorry.

I'm being insensitive, aren't I?

I don't think it could get any worse, Michael.

You want to know why I was looking for Ryan?

Yeah.

Because I wanted to tell him

how much I care about him.

Oh.

See if he'd give me another chance.

Isn't that sad?

That's-that's very sad.

He's a terrible person.

They are both terrible persons.

They are.

That's right,

and-and you're a wonderful person

and you don't deserve that.

Michael, you are a wonderful person.

You...

are a wonderful,

wonderful person.

What the hell?

Okay.

Now, what was the matter with over there?

It reminded me of Ryan.

I wanted to get as far away as possible.

Oh.

Damn, it's stuck, Michael.

Oh, come on, now.

Let me give you a...

Wait, wait.

You know, okay, I got a good idea.

- We'll share, okay? - Okay.

Good, 'cause I need something soft on my lap anyway.

Watch the thing.

- Watch that. - Oh.

- Move your leg. - I don't want to wear that.

- I got it. Whoa. - Okay.

- Oh. - Hey.

All righty, now th-that was a good idea.

It is so nice.

I can't wear this dress another minute.

It reminds me of Alex and Michael

and everything I want to forget.

Well, knowing what a snake Alex is, I'm sure he said

something to Michael tonight that set him off.

I don't care; I'm tired of Michael's temper

and this crazy jealousy of his.

I never want to see him again.

Do you realize that this is my wedding night,

and I'm not gonna have sex?

Now that's not good, that's bad.

I know, come on.

You don't have sex on your wedding night

and the marriage is in trouble for surely.

Well, I think you could say your marriage

is definitely in trouble.

You know what, you could be a friend, you know?

Got a deadline here.

You could help me turn this thing around.

Oh, you don't mean...

Well, come on, I mean,

- you are my ex-wife, - Oh.

And you are familiar with the equipment.

That's true.

You could jump in any time here.

Okay.

Michael went off the deep end

'cause he's crazy about you

and it makes him do crazy things.

You're the last person I'd pick

- to be defending him. - I know.

And I'm sorry about every bad thing I said

when the two of you got back together.

I can see how much he loves you.

No, it was just easier for him than finding someone new.

A real no-brainer, that's all I am to Michael.

An easy fix.

- Yeah? - Kyle, someone broke into my place.

- What? - They kicked the door in; they trashed it.

- You got to be kidding me. - No.

Okay, yeah.

That'll be 20 bucks.

- What? - I'm a professional.

Oh, well, you know what, it was worth it.

Now, what would I get for 40 bucks?

Oh, oh.

I'm glad I went to the ATM.

Oh, yes.

Won't be needing these anymore.

Oh, they're inscribed.

"First,

"Last,

Forever"

Oh.

Go talk to him.

No, I can't.

I don't even know where he is.

What the...?

Michael?

Megan?

Holy...