Original subtitles

(suspenseful tribal music)

- [Narrator] In the ever changing history of mankind,

every so often, great women make all the difference.

This is one such cautionary tale.

(rock music)

- It's so lovely here.

It's like a paradise.

I love these trees.

- Well it hasn't changed much since last time you were here.

- I've never been here before.

- Well yes, this is my Treehouse.

Away rom the maddening crowd.

This place, it keeps me sane.

The air is so fresh.

And so good.

You feel good, too.

(cat meowing)

- Stop it, Michael.

- I told you not to wear underwear.

- You behave like him.

Your president.

- You know he's my idol.

So I grabbed your crotch.

It's normal.

Every man does that.

This new show, it's gonna be so hot

and I think you, Maria, just might be the star.

I want you to clear your schedule.

Let's go inside.

(upbeat music)

You know, I thought Jon and Susan

would of been here by now.

You haven't met them yet

but they're part of my team.

They argue all the time,

talks all kinds of shit.

It's a love hate relationship.

- Looking forward to meet them.

They sound interesting.

- Baby, you look so hot in that miniskirt.

I'm so excited about you putting on a fashion show for me.

There are a lot of girls in contention for this

but I think you could be the one.

Just keep working on that Russian accent

and keep going to acting class.

- Michael.

Are you serious?

- It will work out.

Say, you ever play pool before?

- I don't know even how to hold it.

- I'll teach you how to hold it.

First of all, you've got to hold it smooth and light.

Okay?

All right, now bend over.

- Ah.

- More, more.

And you stroke it just so.

Easy does it.

Smooth, in and out.

In and out.

All right, go ahead.

- The fun has arrived.

(laughing)

- Maria, I'd like you to meet Susan.

She's my executive producer, my fixer.

Without her, I'm lost.

- Okay, that's awkward.

- And this is Jon.

He's my computer wizard.

Does all my social media for me.

He's a bit eccentric but he's the best.

- Pleasure to meet you.

I am Maria Putin.

- No wonder that Michael likes you.

He loves everything about Donald Trump

and you look just like Melania.

Seriously.

- Gosh, she's so beautiful.

- I hear Michael might put you in his next project.

Showgirl Wars.

It's gonna be an epic show.

- Perfect.

- I hope so.

- Let's go out on the deck

and I can take some pictures of you and Maria

and then I can take some pictures of her alone.

She look so good in that dress.

(camera clicking) (upbeat music)

- Now make me look good.

(shouting)

Not the hair.

- Okay, Michael, get out of there.

Yeah baby, so show sass. - What do we got, Susan?

- Pretend we're playing doctor.

Say ah.

- We need to talk about some of the logistic problems

with the show.

- I thought we had that all figured out.

- All right, come on, guys.

We're on holiday.

We're up here at my beautiful retreat.

Let's have some fun.

Let's play some eight ball.

Come on.

Nice shot.

- You don't even have cajones in a game.

- Well, it's been fun.

You guys go ahead and keep playing pool.

Maria and I are gonna go upstairs.

She's gonna do some modeling for me.

- All right, but just remember,

you need to be fed for tomorrow.

We're going in the Rover to Vegas.

- Don't worry.

I'm a fantastic driver.

Let's go.

- [Jon] Good luck up there.

- Bye.

(upbeat swing jazz music)

(whistling)

- A bare back, a little side boob, nice.

Yeah.

Turn around.

Oh yes, very nice.

Oh that's hot, baby.

Ring a ding ding, baby doll.

Oh.

Yeah, keep it moving.

Come here.

- How was it?

- Babe, you're gonna be perfect for the show.

What about that sexy lingerie I bought you?

Why don't you go put that on?

Have some fun.

- Michael.

Why it's always about sex with you?

Do I have to make love today to you

to be in your show?

- Well it wouldn't hurt.

Unless we skip the bear grease.

Okay, I'm sorry, just wait.

Wait don't go.

Just wait one minute.

I have something that's going

to make you very happy.

Just close your eyes.

Close 'em.

Keep 'em closed.

Don't move.

Keep 'em closed.

Now, give me your left hand.

I want to take you off the market.

- Oh, Michael.

♪ You make me feel so happy ♪

♪ You make me feel so blue ♪

- Get up there.

Get, get up there.

Yeah.

(moaning)

(upbeat swing jazz music)

(suspenseful chanting music)

Yeah, yeah no.

Make sure that the title of the show

is in big, bold letters.

Erotic adventures.

Coming soon, and you will be, too.

Uh huh.

No, no, no.

I don't want any jail bait this time, okay?

Just barely legal.

And no Botoxed bimbos this time, okay?

(electricity crackling) What's going on here?

- [Maria] What's wrong?

- God, Maria, I'm trying to drive.

What's going on out here?

Great.

God damn it.

Fucking piece of shit.

Not fucking working.

Get me out of here.

What the hell happened to my baby?

Out here in the middle of nowhere.

- What do you mean in the middle of nowhere?

This is Area 51.

- Shut up, Frodo.

Nobody cares.

Now I gotta fix this thing.

I don't even know what's wrong with it.

- Calm down, Michael.

We get out of here,

how 'bout I mix you a cocktail

with a little Valium, Prozac?

Just relax, will ya?

- I don't mean to be impolite, Sue,

but since Michael brought it up,

are those real?

- No, dipshit.

Kmart, blue light special.

Hey, have you ever gotten laid

without paying for it?

- Come on, guys.

Be nice.

- Sue, is there anything about you that's not plastic

besides your credit cards?

- Can you guys shut the fuck up?

Okay, I'm trying to fix this fucking thing

and all you guys are talking about,

plastic, plastic, plastic.

You guys are all plastic to me at this point.

Shut up!

- Honey.

Why did we have to leave Reno?

We were having such a nice vacation.

We could have flown.

- And what?

Leave my $100,000 baby in a parking lot

alone for three days?

I don't think so!

- I love you.

I love you, too.

- I'm sorry, sugar walls.

Listen, once we get to Vegas,

it's gonna be the biggest, grandest show ever.

Bigger than even Wife Beaters.

Starring our newest starlet, you.

- Oh, it sounds fantastic.

I just turned down a photo shoot in the Bahamas

to star in your crazy show.

- Well you made the right call, honey.

- Can I help you?

- Don't be ridiculous.

- He seems a little wound up.

All he needs is some good skull.

- Some what?

- Oral sex, sugar.

Why do you think his steering wheel is tilted?

- What do you mean?

- More headroom, honey.

More headroom.

- Oh.

Yeah.

That's how I got this.

(laughing)

- Dumb as a sack of rocks.

(laughing)

- All right, I think I got it.

Let's get out of here.

Where's Jon?

Where'd that idiot go?

- Here's, Johnny.

- You imbecile.

I thought you were dead.

Get in the car, let's get out of here.

(engine stalling)

(eerie ethereal music)

It doesn't work.

Not even the horn works.

- Maria, quit playing with your ring.

You're gonna lose it.

As a matter, put it away.

You're making me nervous.

Okay.

Phone doesn't work either.

Somebody tell me this is a bad dream.

There's gotta be somebody out here that can help us.

Where are we?

Susan, where are we?

- Well.

According to Google Maps.

Hey, nothing works.

Google's gone.

- Oh my god.

It's the end of the world.

- It's not the end of the world, Maria.

I'll find service.

There's gotta be service.

Hello?

I got nothing.

- [Susan] Yeah, no shit.

- Hello!

Anybody?

Well.

Looks like we're stuck out here.

(electricity crackling)

(ethereal whooshing) (shouting)

- What's happening?

- How the hell should I know?

- I told you, man.

We're somewhere near Area 51.

Weird stuff goes on out here all the time.

- Isn't there anybody civilized out here

that can help us get this shit out of here?

- I don't know.

They might arrest us for trespassing.

It was a secret government Air Force base

where they carried out all those UFO experiments.

(humming \"The Twilight Zone\" theme)

I know all about the place.

I mean, they've got sensory equipment so advanced

they can smell a person coming in the boundaries

and tell whether they're gay or straight.

- So how come these idiots haven't found you yet?

- If they come over and start talking to us,

just keep our hands up like we surrender.

Maybe we'll get lucky

and we won't run into any of those camo dudes.

- What is camel dudes?

- They're not camels.

They're special security forces

equipped with high tech surveillance gear

to stop intruders.

- Well, I could use one of those stiff camo dudes right now.

- Wait a minute, guys, what's that?

(electronic beeping)

Come on, guys.

Let's check it out.

(electronic beeping)

- Ah, cool.

Don't nobody touch it.

- Why not?

- It's a foo fighter.

- Love their music.

- First seen by pilots in WWII.

Essentially, it's a multi directional

anti gravity proton ball.

Hello, Area 51.

My name is Jon Dawson.

I'm so excited to be here.

I've always wanted to meet you.

Hello, can you hear me?

We're lost.

These are my friends.

Susan Tolby, Maria Putin, and Michael Bray.

He's a big time reality show producer.

- What are you doing, man?

Are you trying to get me killed?

You asshole.

- I thought maybe your connections would help.

- Let's get out of here.

Come on, let's go.

(tense music)

(eerie ethereal music)

- [Jon] Did I ever tell you about the time

I tossed my cookies on roller coaster?

It was intense.

Did I ever tell you about the time

I got pantsed in middle school?

(laughs)

I farted in the guys face.

- Shut up! - Shut up.

Follow me.

(eerie ethereal music)

- Can you guys wait a minute?

I'm exhausted.

Where are we?

- Malibu?

What happened to Nobu, to all those celebrities?

- California finally fell out.

- Who gives a horny shit about Malibu,

Nobu, all these celebrity.

I'm the only celebrity that matters.

Okay, let's keep moving.

There's gotta be somebody out here that can help us.

Come on, let's keep moving.

- I'm tired, Michael.

Do you have any idea how much these weigh?

My backs killing me.

- Here, I'll help you carry 'em.

I'm great at carrying things.

- In your dreams.

- Malibu?

If they would of raked up those leaves

like they were supposed to,

they would never had those fires.

Maybe they'd still be here.

Guess they didn't listen.

(shouts)

(shouting)

- [Maria] What's that?

- Cockroaches.

Ugly little bastards, aren't they?

They've been around forever.

They're gonna outlive humans for sure.

An unusually large fecal deposit.

- Dung.

- Shit.

(speaking Russian)

- It's just been freshly shat, too.

- Well, I don't want to meet that beast that shat it.

- [Maria] Michael, get me out of here.

- Did anyone notice anything unusual

about this dung heap?

- Why don't you fill us in, Einstein?

You're the shit expert.

- There's no flies.

I mean look around.

There's no birds or animals or anything.

No insects expect cockroaches.

- Well good.

Then we have nothing to worry about, do we?

(creature screeching)

God.

What was that?

It's killing me.

- It looked like bat.

- Bats only fly at night.

- I don't care if they fly day or night

this thing just left something in my skull.

It's killing me.

Maria, get this thing out of me.

(grunting)

(shouts)

What are you staring at?

- Sweetheart, there is no blood.

It's weird.

- This whole place is weird, you stupid immigrant.

Should of thrown you back over the wall.

- You are horrible.

Why you calling me an immigrant?

You're an immigrant.

We are all immigrants in America.

I don't know why I love you.

Stupid.

- Michael, don't you know how to be nice?

You're such a bully.

- That's why I make the big bucks, okay?

Get over it.

I'm sorry, sugar walls.

- Don't call me that.

I'm not one of your porn stars.

Just leave me alone.

(whistling)

- Hey, you!

- Did you see that?

- Yeah.

Maybe it's one of those camo dudes.

I want to take a closer look at that stud.

Maybe he can help us.

- Don't you mean maybe he can help you?

- Hey you!

Wait up.

Hey, wait up.

(tense drum music)

Hold on, honey.

Why are you running?

- Hey come back here.

You fucking nuts?

- [Susan] Wait, stop.

Where you going?

I just want to talk to you.

- Come on.

- Michael, wait.

- [Susan] We can do more than just talk if you want.

You don't need to play so hard to get.

- [Michael] Where you going?

Susan, stop being an idiot

- [Maria] It's not Beverly Hills.

These shoes are killing me.

- I won't bite.

Unless you're into that.

Wait up you kinky stud.

(low tense music)

(babbling)

We're lost.

Can you help us?

Okay.

You're more like a weirdo.

Oh gosh.

(lighthearted tense music)

Hey.

You found a friend.

It's okay.

You can drop your weapons.

The war is over.

It's not good to carry a grudge

just because I didn't date you in high school.

Hey, um.

Hey, boys.

Look at this.

Nice, huh?

10 grand each.

Look what happen when I put them together.

Silicon valley.

Get it?

Look at this.

Nice booty, huh?

What about these lips?

It's collagen heaven.

They say I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Come on, guys.

What you say? - Would you eat that?

I don't think I'd eat that.

Let's go.

- I guess they're not into plastic.

It's probably bad for their digestive system.

- Idiot.

You could have been killed.

- Yeah.

They looked at me like a Belgium waffle.

- Yeah, they could of wolfed you down like a sumo wrestler

at an all you can eat buffet in Las Vegas.

- Damn.

I should of recorded her on my cell,

used it for a new TV show.

All right, let's go.

- [Susan] Another great day in pre production.

What a story to share with the gang.

- [Maria] Are we almost there?

- [Michael] How the hell should I know?

Could everyone just shut up for the next 20 miles.

- [Maria] Oh my God!

I will get wrinkles on my face.

I need a moisturizer.

I hate these red rocks.

- [Susan] Just shush it.

- [Michael] Shut up.

(tense ethereal music)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Step back.

- Okay.

Well, that's some sort of a fashion statement.

- Ladies, ladies.

Ladies, I don't want to hurt you, okay?

I don't want to hurt you.

But if you guys are gonna do a layout for Hustler,

I'd like to watch.

- Hey, we're lost, okay?

Can you tell us where we are?

Somehow, this doesn't fulfill my fantasy

of being surrounded by beautiful women.

- If Ivanka shows up,

I'll be happy.

(laughs)

Okay, okay, close enough.

What you want to fight, my fair lady?

- Michael, do something.

She's looking at me like I'm a dumpling.

- Hey, hey back off.

Hey, I know she's hot, all right?

I know.

She's mine.

Okay, we're like engaged or something.

- Something?

- Maria, not now.

(grunting)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's not a clip on.

(electronic buzzing)

Jon, what are you doing with that toy?

Where'd you get that thing?

- I got it from ComicCon.

When you didn't bleed when the bat hit you

I thought maybe I had special powers.

- You are an idiot.

- This is disgusting.

(shouting)

- [Susan] Whoa, look at that.

Go get her, Michael. - That's it.

(grunting)

- [Maria] Oh, Michael.

- Are you next?

- Okay, I've seen enough.

Take me to your leader.

- Follow me.

- [Jon] Well, that was easy.

(soft tense music)

- Where are we?

I mean, what is this?

Thunderdome or something?

All we're missing is Tina Turner.

- I think it's more like Planet of the Apes.

- Hey.

Hey.

Do you know who I am?

Michael Bray.

I'm the hottest producer in Hollywood.

Get me out of here, goddamn it.

I said get me out of here!

(grunting)

- I feel like an extra in Star Trek

without the catering truck.

- Welcome, my newly transported friends.

- Okay.

Can you get us out of here?

What is this?

A segment in Survivors or something?

- Welcome and listen carefully.

For I will only say this once.

My name is Zane.

The here and the now is 2121 AD.

Your parents, grandparents, and children are long dust.

Sorry about that.

And if anyone here still thinks

that this is a reality show,

then push someone out of your mercing cage

and find out.

- Man, these women are serious.

This is not a reality show.

How are we gonna get out of here?

- Okay okay.

Don't worry.

We'll get out of here.

They're only women.

- Nobody?

Good.

From now on, you all be known as SBCs.

Selective Breeding Combatants.

No names, just numbers.

Once your number is called,

you will fight each other

until there is a winner and there is a loser.

The winner goes on to experience

the mercing privilege of producing offspring

so that we can weed out the weak

and ensure the survival of our female population.

- Are we some kind of contestants

at a breed and feed farm?

- Yeah right, more like sausages

in a Jimmy Dean slaughterhouse.

- What happens to the loser?

- An intelligent question.

We waste nothing here.

If you lose,

you'll be sent to the castration dungeon.

- The what?

- Your testicles will be removed.

If you cooperate, we might let you live

and become a domesticated male,

sworn to life long servitude to women.

- Yeah, fuck that.

- Otherwise, your throat will be slit,

blood drained, and used for soup.

Your body will be stripped of all wars and hair,

then hung on meat hooks and smoked to preserve it.

I tell you this

to encourage you to fight and win

and earn the privilege of mercing

and the winning and losing numbers for today

are mercing units

number four and 12.

Step out of your mercing cage

and may the best SBC win.

- Fuck man, that's my number.

Hey, Pang, hey come here.

- Zane!

- Zane.

I've got a brand new Land Rover, okay.

State of the art vehicle with your name on it.

Hey, hey, hey if you want it, it's yours.

- I have no use for that piece of junk.

- Piece of junk?

- Welcome to 2121 AD.

- Wait, wait, wait.

How 'bout women?

I know you love women.

I've got the hottest girlfriend.

She's all yours

if you just get us out of this rat trap.

- You mean the divine brunette?

What's her name?

- Maria.

- Ha, Maria.

- She's okay, right?

You guys aren't gonna cannibalize her, are you?

- Oh yeah, she'll be eaten.

Repeatedly.

- Hey, listen to me.

You do whatever you want with her.

She's all yours.

- Dude, as you say in your archaic vernacular,

she's already ours.

Now if you have something better to offer,

then please I am willing to give it my full consideration.

- Fuck that.

- You'd trade Maria for your freedom?

- Relax, man.

It's just a sucker play.

I just need a new bargaining chip

to get us out of here.

- A world war?

Over genitals?

It's crazy.

I have been transported to Mars?

Hey, anybody's here?

- [Ethereal Voice] My name is Auriana.

Welcome.

- Tell me, what happened to Jon and Michael?

What have you done with them?

And where is Susan?

- [Auriana] Susan is being taken care of

by some of our female villagers.

Unfortunately, Michael and Jon are men

and kept in cages.

- Cages?

But why?

- [Auriana] You will find out.

You and your friends have taken

in a kashyk voyage.

The efforts of the nations to end climate change fell short,

a major shift away from fossil fuels,

greenhouse gases, and ramping up renewable energy

never happened.

Because man was too ignorant

and climate changed wiped out the other half.

Radiation got into the water system,

spread throughout the world.

Causing women to become more dominant

and men less aggressive.

- It sounds good for me.

- [Auriana] Yes, it was a good thing.

But no one wanted to listen

about greenhouse gas emissions.

Especially the United States

who had the power to do something.

They were so busy making movies

about fighting for the galaxies

but never about saving the planet.

- I recognize that face.

- [Auriana] Yes, Joesph Stalin.

A Russian dictator who was no different than Hitler.

Both mass murderers who censored the press

to control their populations.

And I'm sure you recognize that face.

Former president of the United States of America,

Donald Trump.

An ignorant megalomaniac.

- My boyfriend voted for him.

- [Auriana] Well, he Tweeted us into WWIII,

which wasn't surprising,

considering his macho ego.

In a dispute with Putin, the secretive president of Russia,

over who had the biggest penis.

Yes, these characters and their aggression

represent a long line of men

who ultimately destroyed the planet.

That is why we have taken over.

To ensure history doesn't repeat itself.

- Can't I just go home?

- [Auriana] But you have no home.

You are that no one left behind generation.

Yes, Eve bit the apple and Adam pressed the button.

The year is 2121 AD.

When women rule the world.

Now that I have brought you up to the present,

don't you think it's time we finally meet?

- Wow.

You are so beautiful.

- Thank you.

So are you.

(soft music)

- We don't eat that.

- As you can see.

We've created a safe environment for women.

Where females can flourish to their fullest potential.

- Very interesting.

But what about the man?

- Men caused unprecedented chaos around the world.

We've exiled men.

There are pockets of females like us all over the land

and we're going to be having a summit very soon.

These women work very hard to earn the privilege of mercing.

- What is mercing?

- Mercing is the conception of new life.

Your friend Michael will be competing for the privilege.

- You mean Michael's gonna be screwing one of your women?

- Michael is going to make love to another woman?

- Yes, if he's lucky.

- I'm curious about something that happened in the desert.

Michael got bitten by a bat

but there wasn't any blood.

- There wasn't any blood because the bats are radioactive.

It was sent by Eydon, keeper of the bats.

Our mortal enemy.

(soft tense music)

- Well, um.

If there isn't any man here?

I mean, how do you guys have sex?

- Anyway that we like.

- Oh.

Okay.

- Are you okay?

I'm so glad to see you.

And what happened to Michael?

Where is he?

- Michaels gonna fight for the right to merc.

It's a crazy word for making babies.

- Yes, I know.

But what happens if he loses?

- You don't want to know.

Men are like disposable diapers here.

- Jon, you're not going to believe

but they told us we went through some time portal

into the future.

- Yeah, I know.

- And it's 2121 AD.

- That would mean you're 130 years old.

- Oh, wow.

Yeah.

If it's true.

(laughs)

Oh.

I am aging beautifully.

Right?

Oh.

(laughs)

(tense drum music)

- You don't have to, you don't have to do that.

I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.

I can't, I'm not a fighter.

- Michael.

- Where have you been?

- Enough of that.

The winner will be honored with the privilege of mercing.

Which is sacred and must be earned.

Let the competition begin.

- Come on, get him where it hurts.

Come on.

Go get him.

Go.

- No, come on.

I can give you anything you want.

- Go.

- Okay, okay.

Okay.

Okay.

- [Woman] Come on.

Go get him.

- Look, it's a UFO.

(groaning)

(laughing)

You fucking loser.

(laughing)

I'm the fucking winner.

I am not the loser.

I am Michael motherfucking Bray

and you are mine.

(shouting)

Let's go!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I'm the winner here.

I'm not the loser.

Okay, I don't do well in this kind of situation.

I thought I was supposed to be,

I thought I was supposed to be rewarded.

- You're not going anywhere.

- Okay, okay.

(sultry music)

Hi.

- You will teach me love?

- Sure.

(sultry music)

I don't know if you're ready for all this.

This government is open for business.

(marching drum music)

(low tense music)

- This is our nursery.

- Is that a pregnant man?

- Yes.

If a man meets our stringent requirements,

we insert a uterus into him.

- Must be painful.

- It is a very delicate procedure.

Most men consider it a great honor.

(rock music)

♪ Lonely ♪

♪ Lonely Baby ♪

♪ Save me ♪

♪ Save me save me ♪

♪ 'Cause all I know ♪

♪ Is what I feel ♪

♪ And I'm sad to say ♪

♪ Aint nothing real ♪

♪ This life I see ♪

♪ It aint a game ♪

♪ But I hang my head in shame ♪

♪ Lonely ♪

♪ Lonely baby ♪

♪ Crazy ♪

♪ Crazy crazy ♪

♪ 'Cause here today ♪

♪ I stand accused ♪

♪ There aint no way ♪

This is our new generation.

Women are the caretakers of the planet now.

Our allegiance is to life.

- But what happens to the boy babies?

- The boys are separated from the girls at birth,

raised with obedience training, domesticated,

and granted life long servitude towards women.

- Where we came from, the men are women were equal.

- Were they?

- I have a real dilemma, Zane.

- What is it?

- I met Phil some time ago

and I think I like him.

- Well, he's a domesticated man.

What is the problem?

- He's five months pregnant.

It just started to show.

- You could have a beautifully baby with Phil.

Hopefully a girl.

Listen, I know that men can be very scattered brained

and emotional and not very intelligent--

- That's not the problem, Zane.

- [Zane] What is the problem?

- Do you think he can breastfeed?

(lighthearted music)

(sighing)

- What?

What was that?

Where you going?

Hey, hey.

Yeah, I thought I earned my freedom here.

I just made love to one of your goddesses.

Let me out of here.

- I was totally out in the desert

on some high powered shrooms, man.

Now I'm in this jailhouse.

Is this a trip?

(mystical music)

- [Susan] A pregnant man?

How's that possible, I mean why?

- 'Cause women are better.

Because a woman's body is too precious.

- [Susan] Huh.

(tense music)

Wait what?

(tense music)

- Intruders!

(grunting)

Protect the crystals.

- You think we're really in the future, man?

- [Woman] Intruders!

Men!

(grunting)

- Let go.

(metal clanging)

(grunting)

- Jon.

This is our chance to get out of this hellhole.

Grab the rope.

Quick, before they get back.

Come on guys, go, go, go.

Before they come back.

- [Man] Oh man, they're gonna eat us.

- Come on, man, you got it.

(grunting)

(shouting)

(shouting) (grunting)

- Come on.

(tense music)

(panting)

(wet crunching)

(groaning)

(wet crunching)

(panting)

(tense music)

(mystical whirring)

(soft reflective music)

- Why couldn't you save her?

- We could have saved her.

I would of been able to infuse her seven chakra points

energy integrating into life force.

I'm so sorry to say, Maria.

But cellular death has already taken place.

It was too late.

- What is that thing around your neck?

- It's Auriana's hair.

She made it for me.

She meant something to me

and she still does

but it all broke down because some of me my men

did some horrible things like rape and murder

and now she thinks that all men are evil.

I could have killed her tonight with my own spear.

But.

- Yeah, well you should killed that bitch

and taken over that pussy palace.

- What for?

More blood shed.

You are men from the past, aren't you?

You must like it out here.

- Yeah?

Well why not?

No rules out here, no laws.

I do what I what when I want.

And women are for the taking.

(upbeat drum music)

- [Man] Hello, ladies.

Today we're plating mixed charcuterie, a delicacy.

Followed by spring finger sandwiches

made with actual fingers.

Eat up.

You like it, huh?

(lighthearted music)

- Tastes good.

What is this?

Like hamburger?

- It's Drak.

- Some kind of pig?

Tastes different.

- Drak is man.

(laughing)

Your culture didn't make the world any better

by killing all of those animals.

Drak is clean.

It's just man without the balls.

(laughing)

(gagging)

(heaving)

(laughing)

- [Eydon] If you love this violence so much.

She's your for the taking.

- No.

No, no, no, no.

- No?

(shouting)

(laughing)

- You're not seriously gonna do this?

- Watch me.

Come on, little one.

Come on, come on.

(laughing)

Come on.

(woman screaming)

- I am so sorry about Susan.

Men haven't changed their evil ways

and it's heartbreaking to see.

May I take you to our secret crystal source of energy?

(soft music)

(mystical clanging)

- Checkmate.

- I can't beat you.

How'd you learn to play chess so good?

- Bobby Fisher.

- Are you kidding me?

He was incredible.

Hey, how long you been around this crazy world?

- Awhile.

I'm terribly bored.

You see, I was made in 2025.

I'm a robot with advanced artificial intelligence.

My IQ is 1600.

That beats you humans, doesn't it?

We were becoming a completely new form of life,

able to outperform and eventually replace you humans.

We were replicating ourselves.

And we could of tooken over.

But nuclear disaster happened.

Wiped out our entire communications network.

Sadly.

I'm the last of our kind.

- Michael.

I'd like to introduce you to my new friend.

What was your name?

- Herbert.

Pleasure to meet you.

- He beat me in chess in seven moves in four minutes.

Herbert is from the past.

He's an AI robot, can you believe it?

- That's fake news.

Come here, quit playing.

I need you for something.

You still have that crystal I gave you?

- Yeah.

- I need to figure out how these things work.

- Why?

- What do you mean why?

So we can dominate these women,

kill their queen bee and take over this place.

Come on.

(soft music)

- Sorry.

I thought you were one of those creatures.

- It's okay, it's only me.

Are you okay?

You seem so sad.

- Yeah, I'm sad.

I was just thinking about my relationship with Michael.

- Have you ever been with a woman before?

- No, never.

But always been curious.

- A woman's touch can be sensuous, healing,

it can open a softness that's been hidden inside.

(soft thoughtful music)

(soft thoughtful music)

(tense music)

(footsteps crunching)

- So here you are.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

So this is where you've been?

Been hiding from me?

So what do you think of this new future?

- I think it's horrible.

Look what happened to Susan.

She was killed here another day.

Look what happened to you.

You are one of them now.

I just want to go back to our past.

I want to go home.

- Now why would I want that?

I just won the lotto.

It's paradise!

- You are mad!

(tense music)

(shouting)

- You are gonna do

as I say!

(screaming)

Now get up, get up, get, get up.

Come here.

Come here.

(laughing)

Yeah, let's go.

Come on, come on.

Come on!

(laser blasting)

- Put your fingers like this.

Try it.

(laser blasting)

- Come on, come on.

Come on.

Get in here.

Get in here.

And make her dance.

(shouting)

- Hey man, that's Maria.

(shouting)

I thought you loved her?

- Love?

That's a stupid word.

Look around.

- [Jon] These guys are savages man.

- There's plenty more where she came from.

And she'll get used to it.

They all do.

Live a little.

(shouting)

- I'm gonna get Maria out of here.

(tense music)

- You're going nowhere my friend.

Keep an eye on him.

Keep dancing!

(shouting)

You could of had it all, my friend.

You could of had it all.

Get him out of here!

(shouting)

- Take her to my tent!

(crying)

(tense music)

(sobbing)

- Please, please don't do this.

Please.

(soft music)

(tense drum music)

(gasps)

(shushing)

(tense dramatic music)

(groaning)

(grunting)

(tense drum music)

- Come on.

Let's hot foot it the heck out of here.

(tense drum music)

What are you doing here?

- Oh, I just thought I'd get some fresh air, you know?

- This is my friend Maria.

- Pleasure to meet you.

Well I see that you two have escaped from the men's camp.

It could be quite dangerous out here.

- Yes, we need your intelligence.

We have a Rover out here somewhere

and we can't find it.

We have no idea where it is.

- The Mars rover?

That's on Mars.

- No, it's a Land Rover.

- Oh yes, I understand.

Built in England.

Unfortunately, I will be in serious trouble

if I helped you escape.

Good luck.

- Really?

- Hey.

- Yes?

- Please, please.

We are totally lost.

We have to come back to our past

and prevent this madness from happening.

(electronic beeping)

- Okay.

What do you need?

- How do we get back to our vehicle

and back to the past?

- You came through a time portal, right?

- Yeah, I think so.

- All right.

Let me think for a second.

(electronic beeping)

Okay.

There's gonna be a solar eclipse soon.

- What does that mean for us?

- It will create a time portal.

A vortex in which a force of suction

will suck you back into your time.

(mimicking suction)

But, you will need crystals

to put around the engine for speed.

- Follow me.

(soft drum music)

- [Jon] So, Herbert, do robots of your generation

tell a lot of jokes?

- [Herbert] No, that function is not in order.

- [Jon] Seriously, why not?

(tense drum music)

- Come on.

I hope it's not much further.

(shouting)

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- You have five minutes to rest.

- Do you think if we can make it back

anyone is going to believe us,

what the future is going to be?

- I don't know.

Maybe no one will believe us.

Especially the Donald Trumps of the world.

They'd just put us in a straight jacket in 20 seconds.

- You know, Jon, I like you.

I hope we can make it back together.

- Yeah?

- Your five minutes are up.

Something's getting closer.

(tense music)

(mystical whirring)

(grunting)

(laughing)

(grunting) (laser blasting)

(shouts)

(laser blasting) (shouting)

(laughing)

- So.

Where's this crystal cave, Athena?

- I'm not gonna tell you.

- She's not gonna tell me.

- You think you're such a big man, huh?

- This one.

Talk!

Or I kill you.

Right here, right now!

- The crystals are in pyramid cave.

Next to our village.

- Nice job.

That wasn't so hard, now was it?

You just added a few years to your pathetic life.

(laughing)

- Maybe there is a way to create balance between us.

- Between who?

- Between us and the women.

- The women?

(laughing)

Are you kidding me?

Why would you want the power going back to them?

This is ours.

(laughing)

- You know about the radiation, right?

So sad for you humans.

(somber music)

(tense music)

Keep up, you humans.

- Don't you ever get tired?

Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a robot.

(tense music)

- We're being followed.

Look, mutants.

- Hurry, Jon!

(panting)

(screaming)

I'm so tired.

Where's the truck?

- Here, get on my back.

Hurry.

Alley oop.

Hold on.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

(tense music)

I'll find it, don't worry.

Now, do you remember the longitude and latitude

where you stopped your vehicle?

- I don't remember what was there

but we were close to Area 51.

- Was there any unusual landmarks?

- We passed some igneous rocks.

- When you left your vehicle, did you head southeast?

- Yes and we passed some flat lands.

- There, over there, behind those rocks,

in the open desert.

I can feel the vibrations of a clumsily built contraption.

(tense music)

We must keep moving.

Come.

(tense music)

- Unreal, there it is!

Keys, where's the keys?

Up here, down there.

He always leaves them in the car.

Michael, where'd you put them?

Where are they?

Did the drop to the ground?

What's up here?

- Pop the bonnet, please.

- What's a bonnet?

- The hood.

(tense music)

Now for the magic touch.

Uh huh, there we go.

That should do it.

(shouting)

(tense music)

- [Jon] Take that, you scrawny wuss.

I'm gonna beat your brains out.

- Oh my disc. (bones cracking)

- Man, you do a great job choking people out.

Thanks for saving our lives.

How do we get back to the woman's village?

- Southeast.

Maria, you have to get over to the crystal cave

and collect seven crystals.

- Are you coming?

- I wish I could but if I head back there

they would recycle me like a tin can

and I just wouldn't be much of a man anymore, now would I?

- Okay.

Seven.

I'll do that.

- Good luck to you, sir.

- Thank you so much.

I'll never forget you.

- And I'll never forget you

but I'm a robot and that should come as no surprise.

In you go.

Good luck, my friends.

- Thanks heaven for that robot.

(shouting)

- Good shot, huh?

I surprise myself sometimes.

- Jon.

You are my hero.

- There's gotta be a Starbucks around here somewhere.

Hang on.

One small step for small men.

To the past and beyond.

(grunting)

(laughing)

- Nighty night, sweetheart.

Hey, get over here!

We got a new recruit.

Hurry up.

Come on, go, go.

Get in there.

Get.

Where you going?

Where you going, you idiot.

Get over here.

Help me get these crystals off the wall.

I need your help.

(grunting)

(groaning)

Yeah, that's right.

Come help me, now.

We got more.

What, where you...

I don't need you anyway.

I'll do it myself.

(mystical clanging)

(laughing)

(grunting)

- Stay back.

No further, demon.

- Maria.

Oh I'm so happy to see you.

I miss you.

Are you okay?

I was so worried about you

after those men kidnapped you.

- They didn't take me, Michael did.

He became another person out here.

He turned into a depraved monster.

- How did you escape?

- You're not going to believe

but Eydon saved me.

- Eydon?

He did that?

It's hard to believe.

- Maybe he has changed.

- Why is he here?

- This is my friend Jon

who helped me to escape.

I know it sounds crazy

but he had a friend, a robot,

by the name of Herbert.

He helped us to find the truck

and he told us how we can get back

to our past.

- So this is one of those man made inventions

that was responsible for holes in the ozone layer,

greenhouse gas emissions,

and polar bears running out of ice?

- Yeah, it gets eight miles to the gallon.

- So you are a man from the past.

What do you think of 2121?

- It's frightening.

But maybe men can break out of their vicious cycle

and become something positive for women again.

- Can they?

Those feelings are foreign to our world now.

- I like it here with you.

But we are trying to get back to our past.

- It's okay.

I understand.

- There's gonna be an eclipse soon.

We need to get crystals to put around the engine

so we can go fast enough to catch the tempest vortex.

- Do you think can I take Jon to the crystal cave?

- Maria, no man has ever gone to the crystal cave before.

But somehow,

I trust Jon.

(tense music)

(mystical clanging)

(grunting)

(shouting)

- Hello my little cover girl.

Stay put!

I see the way you're looking at her.

Yeah, fight it.

Fight it.

(grunting)

Come on.

Move it, Jon.

Keep it moving.

Don't make me use this fucking thing.

Come on, sweetheart, come on.

You can do it, you can do it.

Come on.

I said come on.

All right, go.

Go!

I said go!

My baby!

(laughing)

Fuck!

Give me those fucking keys.

(laughing)

(grunting)

- That hurt.

(laughing)

Yeah that's much worse.

My hearts stopped.

- You could of had it all.

- Hey, foreigner.

(crystals blasting)

(panting)

(shouting)

- You fucking bitch!

(grunting)

- Imbecile.

(tense music)

- [Michael] Get off of me, get off of me.

Get off!

- We've learned from you, Michael,

that there is such a thing called love

between men and women.

(shouting)

(soft tense music)

- [Woman] Intruders!

Intruders!

- We've been enemies for quite some time.

It's getting us nowhere.

More hatred.

More bloodshed.

Now we can create together again in peace.

Only from the heart.

We can touch the sky.

(laughing)

- Oh, this is wonderful.

- Maybe there is hope again.

- I feel an awakening.

From deep within.

- Yes.

I know.

I'll never forget you.

- I hate to break this up, ladies,

but we have an eclipse to catch.

Otherwise we might not make it back to Kansas, Dorothy.

(tense music)

(tense music)

Hang on tight, baby.

(electricity crackling)

- Jon, look at the sun.

It's getting darker.

(electricity crackling)

(tense music)

(electricity crackling)

(tense ethereal music)

(siren chirping)

- [Dispatch] 921.

- [Dispatch] Stopping car for a parking problem.

- [Cop] Where'd this vehicle come from?

I thought we already cleared this area.

- Yeah, that's strange, huh?

(indistinct dispatch in background)

Hey, this is the Land Rover we got the bolo

on earlier today.

- This must be the producer

of those crazy reality shows that went missing

with his model friend.

- Yeah, half the country's looking for these two.

Wake him up.

Come on, you two.

Wake up.

What's...

You with us, brother?

What's going on here?

- Where are we?

- Wow.

Maybe I wasn't dreaming.

I'm Jon Dawson.

- You're not Michael Bray?

- No.

- And who's this, this Wonder Woman?

What is your name?

- Maria Putin.

- Putin?

Where are the others?

Michael Bray, Susan Tolby?

What happened to them?

- They were left behind.

I mean they died.

- Wait, what do you mean they died?

- We went through a time portal into the future,

2121 AD where women rule the world

and men were the enemy.

- Perfect.

- [Jon] I know it's hard to believe but true.

- What were you guys smoking?

- We weren't hallucinating.

The futures not very great.

- Yeah, okay.

You know what?

Let's just call this in.

That will take care of all of this.

(soft music)

- I'm not going to jail, am I?

(soft tense music)

(glass shattering)

(soft upbeat music)