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1
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:07,351
Coconut flakes, tuna pouch,
2
00:00:07,450 --> 00:00:08,785
raisins...
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:12,156
You are not taking tuna
on our road trip.
4
00:00:12,256 --> 00:00:14,557
I'd let you bring a tuna pouch
if I was going.
5
00:00:14,657 --> 00:00:15,659
But you're not.
6
00:00:15,759 --> 00:00:18,461
It's just me, Harper and Brooke.
7
00:00:18,562 --> 00:00:21,132
We're gonna have girls' weekend.
8
00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:23,699
Normally I would remind you that
we are women, not girls,
9
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,635
but I plan on drinking
a pink margarita
10
00:00:25,736 --> 00:00:27,771
in a tiara, so you're good.
11
00:00:27,870 --> 00:00:29,239
What kind of pink
we talking about?
12
00:00:29,339 --> 00:00:31,542
Strawberry? Hibiscus?
Pink peppercorn?
13
00:00:31,641 --> 00:00:34,043
What? I've been on tons
of girls' trips.
14
00:00:34,145 --> 00:00:36,246
They're way better than
guys' trips.
15
00:00:36,347 --> 00:00:38,182
They're organized,
they're indoors,
16
00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,984
and nobody teases you if you
want to drink some rosé.
17
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:44,954
Rosé!
18
00:00:45,054 --> 00:00:46,356
I can't wait.
19
00:00:46,457 --> 00:00:49,759
I'm finally gonna go
on my first girls' trip.
20
00:00:49,859 --> 00:00:51,503
I was living in Italy,
and apparently women there
21
00:00:51,527 --> 00:00:53,197
don't go on girls' trips.
22
00:00:53,296 --> 00:00:54,296
'Cause they're in Italy.
23
00:00:54,331 --> 00:00:55,665
When I got back,
24
00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,206
I just never found
my group of girls.
25
00:00:57,234 --> 00:00:59,069
It was like all the groups
were already taken.
26
00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:03,207
Well, we're putting together
a new group, okay?
27
00:01:03,307 --> 00:01:05,108
The cool, fashionable one.
28
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:06,777
The smart, sexy one.
29
00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:08,579
The beautiful, spontaneous one.
30
00:01:08,679 --> 00:01:11,013
And you and Brooke.
31
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,349
Do I know Brooke?
32
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,049
No. We were
roommates in college.
33
00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:17,221
She is amazing. Yes.
34
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,161
But let's hurry so we can
beat that bitch there
35
00:01:19,222 --> 00:01:21,391
before she takes the good bed.
36
00:01:21,492 --> 00:01:23,659
Actually, big surprise.
37
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,396
Since they found out I'm iCarly,
38
00:01:25,495 --> 00:01:27,397
they upgraded us
to the party suite.
39
00:01:27,498 --> 00:01:29,332
- Ooh!
- All I have to do is post
40
00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:31,033
a video of us having a fun time.
41
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,537
Which is perfect because
I make videos and you're fun.
42
00:01:34,638 --> 00:01:36,307
Yeah.
43
00:01:36,406 --> 00:01:38,709
Mini birdhouse delivery.
44
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,177
Good, we really
needed a seventh.
45
00:01:41,277 --> 00:01:43,579
I know I've been making a lot,
but this one's got
46
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,147
gold leaf wallpaper
on the inside.
47
00:01:45,248 --> 00:01:48,151
I say this as someone
who needs a girlfriend.
48
00:01:48,252 --> 00:01:49,953
You need a girlfriend.
49
00:01:50,052 --> 00:01:52,389
I really do.
50
00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:53,956
I'm sick of just dating
fun women
51
00:01:54,057 --> 00:01:56,158
who love sports
and brew their own beer
52
00:01:56,259 --> 00:01:57,394
and don't want to commit.
53
00:01:57,493 --> 00:01:59,362
I want something more than that.
54
00:01:59,462 --> 00:02:02,266
I'd be good with... that.
55
00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,900
Inspiration has struck.
56
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:09,439
Birdhouses for people.
Yeah!
57
00:02:10,907 --> 00:02:14,811
Spencer's life makes me so sad.
58
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:17,146
I'm over it.
Girls' trip!
59
00:02:17,247 --> 00:02:18,649
Yay, you guys!
60
00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:21,518
Aw, Freddie, you know what
could be fun for you?
61
00:02:21,617 --> 00:02:22,953
Get the bags.
62
00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:26,456
Nothing is gonna stop us
from having fun.
63
00:02:27,957 --> 00:02:30,461
- My God.
- Hi, Harp.
64
00:02:30,561 --> 00:02:32,896
Maeve?
65
00:02:32,996 --> 00:02:34,365
My God!
66
00:02:34,465 --> 00:02:37,668
Maeve? Your cousin who
disappeared four years ago?
67
00:02:37,768 --> 00:02:39,836
My God.
68
00:02:39,936 --> 00:02:43,373
No, probably a different one.
69
00:03:13,503 --> 00:03:15,972
So, after four years at sea,
70
00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:18,675
my kidnappers finally decided
to let me go.
71
00:03:18,775 --> 00:03:22,378
Wait, so were they kidnappers
or pirates?
72
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:24,623
- I'm super into pirates.
- Freddie's super into pirates.
73
00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:28,117
I just love the word
"swashbuckle."
74
00:03:28,217 --> 00:03:29,920
You'd love it a lot less
75
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:33,289
if you were the one
being swashed and buckled.
76
00:03:33,389 --> 00:03:35,292
Poor Maeve.
77
00:03:35,391 --> 00:03:36,991
Well, the good news is
I'm not mad at you
78
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:39,094
for ghosting me anymore.
79
00:03:39,194 --> 00:03:41,097
You should probably not
read my emails.
80
00:03:41,197 --> 00:03:43,699
None of that matters.
The important thing is
81
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,402
is that I'm here now,
and I'm never traveling
82
00:03:46,502 --> 00:03:48,372
anywhere ever again.
83
00:03:48,472 --> 00:03:50,973
I just want to sit here
with my favorite person.
84
00:03:51,074 --> 00:03:54,578
Well, hey, why don't you come
with us on our girls' trip?
85
00:03:54,677 --> 00:03:57,747
We can sit in the car, and we
can sit in the party suite.
86
00:03:57,848 --> 00:03:59,182
We can sit a bunch of places.
87
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:02,985
The thought of taking
even a single step...
88
00:04:03,086 --> 00:04:06,323
makes my throat close
from stress.
89
00:04:06,423 --> 00:04:09,626
I mean, this sea water
usually calms me down.
90
00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:12,027
It's not working now, though.
91
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,598
Harper, you and Maeve
should just stay here.
92
00:04:14,698 --> 00:04:17,167
Don't worry about me.
Brooke's gonna be there.
93
00:04:20,235 --> 00:04:21,237
And Brooke can't go.
94
00:04:21,338 --> 00:04:23,507
No.
Her car was stolen?!
95
00:04:23,606 --> 00:04:26,141
Poor Brooke.
96
00:04:26,242 --> 00:04:27,610
Look, I'll be okay.
97
00:04:27,711 --> 00:04:29,545
I have all sorts of fun ideas.
98
00:04:29,646 --> 00:04:31,146
I heard they have
a Tupperware museum,
99
00:04:31,247 --> 00:04:33,683
and I just got a book
about candles.
100
00:04:33,783 --> 00:04:35,386
Girl trip!
101
00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:36,586
Ooh...
102
00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:39,254
Freddie, be packed
in five minutes.
103
00:04:41,457 --> 00:04:42,826
This isn't gonna be awkward
104
00:04:42,925 --> 00:04:45,428
- with us sharing a room, is it?
- Why would it be?
105
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,302
This isn't the party suite.
106
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:56,005
No, it is.
"Party of two.
107
00:04:56,105 --> 00:04:59,643
An intimate experience
for lovers in love."
108
00:04:59,742 --> 00:05:01,778
Wow, comes with
a couples massage
109
00:05:01,877 --> 00:05:04,247
with five flavors of lotion.
110
00:05:08,117 --> 00:05:10,319
I'll, call the front desk
and have them
111
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:12,230
switch our room to something
with a little less
112
00:05:12,254 --> 00:05:14,725
pheromones.
113
00:05:17,461 --> 00:05:18,862
A chocolate drawer?
114
00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:20,863
Freddie, you put that phone down
right now.
115
00:05:26,903 --> 00:05:28,370
Okay, cousin catch-up time.
116
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:29,706
- Just me and you.
- Yes. Yes.
117
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:32,207
Ooh, I'm thirstier
than a Kardashian
118
00:05:32,307 --> 00:05:33,476
at All-Star Weekend.
119
00:05:33,576 --> 00:05:34,778
You need anything to drink?
120
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:37,913
Do you have Sardinian
peach nectar?
121
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:39,750
A glass of water's fine.
122
00:05:42,819 --> 00:05:44,754
Harper, what are you doing here?
123
00:05:44,855 --> 00:05:46,423
What are you doing here?
124
00:05:46,523 --> 00:05:47,757
I have a key.
125
00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:49,459
Spencer is supposed to be
babysitting me,
126
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,095
but I use this place for me time
when you and Carly aren't here.
127
00:05:52,194 --> 00:05:53,329
We know this.
128
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,331
No, we don't know this.
129
00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:57,800
Who are you?
130
00:05:57,901 --> 00:06:00,403
Hi, I'm Maeve.
I'm Harper's cousin.
131
00:06:00,504 --> 00:06:03,639
The Harper's cousin?
You resurfaced?
132
00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:05,108
I have.
133
00:06:05,208 --> 00:06:07,677
And I'm so happy to be back
with Harper again.
134
00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:11,346
- Is this tap?
- You'll be fine.
135
00:06:13,348 --> 00:06:14,951
And I'm so happy, too.
136
00:06:15,050 --> 00:06:17,521
Almost as happy as when
we had Christmas in August.
137
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:20,255
Yes. And my dad shipped in
all that real snow
138
00:06:20,355 --> 00:06:21,901
from Switzerland because he said
it had a...
139
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,093
better crunch.
140
00:06:23,192 --> 00:06:25,829
Aw, that's sweet.
141
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,598
My dad got me a fish
named Donut.
142
00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:30,867
It was on sale because
it doesn't swim very fast.
143
00:06:32,603 --> 00:06:35,271
Maeve, I've missed you so much.
144
00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:36,372
I know.
145
00:06:36,473 --> 00:06:37,673
And now that you're back,
146
00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:39,843
I'll never let anyone
take you away.
147
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:43,012
Millicent, what is
taking you so long?
148
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,524
You're just supposed
to steal the cookies
149
00:06:44,548 --> 00:06:45,882
and come right back.
150
00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:48,584
Well, hello.
151
00:06:48,685 --> 00:06:51,353
- I'm Spencer.
- I'm Maeve.
152
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,624
I'm Harper's cousin
that was kidnapped
153
00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:54,990
and taken to sea.
154
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:56,158
So nice to meet you.
155
00:06:56,259 --> 00:06:58,360
- Gee! My dear.
- Ooh.
156
00:06:59,762 --> 00:07:02,932
I, I guess I haven't gotten
my land legs yet.
157
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:05,836
Well, lucky for me
I got to catch you.
158
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:09,238
- Yeah, thank you.
- You've had such an ordeal.
159
00:07:09,338 --> 00:07:11,541
Yeah, I try to look
on the bright side.
160
00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:15,711
I saw a lot of the world
when I wasn't blindfolded.
161
00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:18,814
Wow, your attitude is
so refreshing.
162
00:07:18,915 --> 00:07:22,185
You know what else
is refreshing?
163
00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:29,759
Is that from the Adriatic?
164
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:31,562
Yes. Excellent nose.
165
00:07:33,663 --> 00:07:36,098
Yeah, okay.
This was fun.
166
00:07:36,199 --> 00:07:37,877
But we haven't seen each other
in a really long time,
167
00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:40,536
and I skipped the girls' trip
so we could catch up, so...
168
00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:41,672
Bye.
169
00:07:41,771 --> 00:07:43,505
You can still go on the trip.
170
00:07:43,606 --> 00:07:44,766
I'll entertain Maeve for you.
171
00:07:44,841 --> 00:07:46,509
No, you're not gonna do that
172
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,812
because she's here
to be with me, so...
173
00:07:48,911 --> 00:07:51,180
Harper, did you make this?
174
00:07:51,281 --> 00:07:53,115
No, I didn't make
that tacky thing.
175
00:07:53,216 --> 00:07:55,552
And it's way too small to fit
an actual bird.
176
00:07:55,651 --> 00:07:57,553
Well, that's what
I love about it.
177
00:07:57,653 --> 00:08:00,523
Actually, um...
178
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:01,891
I made it.
179
00:08:01,992 --> 00:08:04,093
- Really?
- Yeah.
180
00:08:04,194 --> 00:08:06,495
Those hands are pure genius.
181
00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:08,798
And the gold leaf wallpaper
reminds me
182
00:08:08,899 --> 00:08:10,766
of the Melk Abbey in Austria.
183
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,367
Well, you know what they say.
184
00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:14,704
If it ain't Baroque,
don't fix it.
185
00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:15,939
- No, you didn't.
- I did.
186
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,274
I think your cousin
ba-roke Spencer.
187
00:08:22,846 --> 00:08:24,814
Look at us.
188
00:08:24,915 --> 00:08:27,182
Girls'-trippin',
champagne sippin'
189
00:08:27,283 --> 00:08:29,351
and chocolate drawer dippin'.
190
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:34,157
And I brought something for you.
191
00:08:34,256 --> 00:08:37,961
Aw, Freddie. Thanks.
192
00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:41,764
"My Way or the Rosé."
193
00:08:41,865 --> 00:08:44,466
Aw, I'm never gonna wear this.
194
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,402
I gotta hand it to you, though.
195
00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:49,139
This girls' trip is off
to a great start.
196
00:08:49,239 --> 00:08:51,741
Shall we look at my itinerary?
197
00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:54,144
"Gossip on the drive here."
Check.
198
00:08:54,244 --> 00:08:56,578
"Freak out over how great
the room is." Check.
199
00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:59,315
"Look in all the drawers for
weird stuff people left behind."
200
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:00,515
Checking!
201
00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,621
I wonder what this does.
202
00:09:11,961 --> 00:09:13,730
I-I like this song.
203
00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:16,099
I like it, too.
204
00:09:16,198 --> 00:09:18,201
It's great for lots of
occasions.
205
00:09:28,912 --> 00:09:30,080
Is this weird?
206
00:09:30,179 --> 00:09:32,347
Not at all.
207
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:37,153
You know what?
Who says you can't share
208
00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:39,588
a honeymoon suite
with your platonic best friend
209
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:42,826
with whom you have a complicated
romantic history?
210
00:09:42,926 --> 00:09:45,227
No one says that.
211
00:09:45,327 --> 00:09:47,029
You know what?
You take the bed.
212
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:50,133
It's so fancy it'll ruin me
for all future beds.
213
00:09:52,101 --> 00:09:53,703
My God.
214
00:09:53,803 --> 00:09:55,471
This bed is so comfortable.
215
00:09:55,571 --> 00:09:57,273
Freddie, you gotta come
try this.
216
00:09:57,373 --> 00:09:58,584
At least for a few minutes
before you mess up your back
217
00:09:58,607 --> 00:10:00,943
- sleeping on that couch.
- All right.
218
00:10:02,745 --> 00:10:04,114
Yeah.
219
00:10:04,214 --> 00:10:07,417
Yeah!
220
00:10:07,517 --> 00:10:09,686
- This feels so good.
- Ooh.
221
00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:13,288
You know what, I'm doing it.
I'm going in.
222
00:10:13,389 --> 00:10:14,389
Come on.
223
00:10:16,426 --> 00:10:19,229
That is incredible.
224
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,197
So good.
225
00:10:22,298 --> 00:10:24,900
Fun Brooke is here.
226
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,635
Let's get this party star...
227
00:10:26,736 --> 00:10:31,875
Looks like the party
already started. Rrr!
228
00:10:31,975 --> 00:10:35,278
- No, no. I mean, we're not.
- No.
229
00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:37,980
I-I mean, we were.
Not like were were.
230
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,884
Then we weren't.
Let me just turn this off.
231
00:10:54,496 --> 00:10:55,807
I see you already got
your cocktail.
232
00:10:55,831 --> 00:10:57,176
Yeah, I found it on a tray
in the hall.
233
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,634
I guess they just
leave them out for people.
234
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,230
I'm just so happy
that you made it.
235
00:11:02,272 --> 00:11:04,639
Yay. Me, too.
236
00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:06,375
Did they find your car?
237
00:11:06,475 --> 00:11:08,443
No, I did.
So it turns out
238
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,946
it wasn't actually stolen.
239
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,014
I just forgot where I parked it.
240
00:11:13,448 --> 00:11:16,219
I am a total hot mess.
Isn't that cute, though?
241
00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:17,653
Adorable.
242
00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:20,355
Are you sure
I'm not interrupting something?
243
00:11:20,456 --> 00:11:22,057
- No.
- No, not at all.
244
00:11:22,158 --> 00:11:24,536
- You're exactly what we needed.
- Yeah, the more the merrier.
245
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,663
Yay. Girls' trip,
plus a cute guy.
246
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:30,933
- And now a cute girl.
- Hello?
247
00:11:32,534 --> 00:11:34,937
Sorry, I'm a hugger.
248
00:11:35,038 --> 00:11:36,873
We're gonna have
a really good time.
249
00:11:36,972 --> 00:11:38,441
Okay...
250
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:39,642
And me.
251
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,211
I'm here, too.
252
00:11:42,778 --> 00:11:45,380
Maeve, you're
the most thoughtful person.
253
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,182
You let me cook for you,
serve you,
254
00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,485
you even let me rub your feet.
255
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:51,153
Well, if you play
your cards right,
256
00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:52,554
I'll let you feed me dessert.
257
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,427
I got Chinese, DVDs
258
00:11:57,527 --> 00:11:58,861
and a stuffed Maltese.
259
00:11:58,961 --> 00:12:01,197
You know, in case you need
a comfort object.
260
00:12:01,297 --> 00:12:02,966
Y'all ate already?
261
00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:06,535
Yeah, I told Spencer how
much I was missing the ocean,
262
00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:09,538
and he surprised me
with my favorite dinner.
263
00:12:10,505 --> 00:12:12,542
An Alaskan crab leg buffet.
264
00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,879
You should've seen how adorable
she was cracking those legs.
265
00:12:16,645 --> 00:12:18,181
Yeah, cute.
266
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,250
But I thought Chinese was
your favorite food.
267
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:21,783
Since when do you like crab?
268
00:12:21,884 --> 00:12:23,586
Since I spent four years at sea.
269
00:12:23,686 --> 00:12:26,121
Plus my kidnappers were
very anti-gluten,
270
00:12:26,221 --> 00:12:28,825
so I kind of
don't do Chinese anymore.
271
00:12:28,924 --> 00:12:30,192
Well, that makes sense.
272
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:32,761
But you still
like action movies, right?
273
00:12:32,863 --> 00:12:35,065
'Cause I got Takens
one through three.
274
00:12:35,164 --> 00:12:37,284
Ooh, I shouldn't have gotten
Takens one through three.
275
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:39,802
Yeah, I've had
enough action/adventure
276
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:41,770
in my real life, you know,
277
00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:44,073
so these days, I'm more into...
278
00:12:44,173 --> 00:12:45,240
- Romance?
- Yes.
279
00:12:45,341 --> 00:12:46,942
It's funny
280
00:12:47,043 --> 00:12:48,879
you should mention
romance movies and the sea,
281
00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:50,745
because I have
another surprise for you.
282
00:12:53,615 --> 00:12:55,317
Spencer, this is amazing!
283
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,753
Well, there is one more thing,
but I don't know,
284
00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:59,221
maybe it's over-the-top.
285
00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:01,557
Well, we wouldn't want that.
286
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:03,860
May I sketch you?
287
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,263
Are we about to live out
my Titanic fantasy?
288
00:13:07,363 --> 00:13:10,799
Y'all know how
that movie ends, right?
289
00:13:12,434 --> 00:13:14,236
Okay.
290
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,239
Should we make a toast?
291
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:17,472
Yes.
292
00:13:17,572 --> 00:13:19,375
To Brooke,
for getting her car back
293
00:13:19,475 --> 00:13:20,911
so she can be here.
294
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,077
Aw.
295
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,278
And to Freddie,
296
00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:25,881
for making such a sweet toast.
297
00:13:25,981 --> 00:13:27,951
And to me, for...
298
00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:30,886
getting the door.
299
00:13:32,754 --> 00:13:34,524
Couples massage.
300
00:13:34,624 --> 00:13:37,192
This is a little awkward, but...
301
00:13:37,293 --> 00:13:38,693
there are three of us.
302
00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:40,163
I can't believe I'm saying this,
303
00:13:40,263 --> 00:13:41,630
but maybe we should pass.
304
00:13:41,730 --> 00:13:43,732
Actually,
I have a lot of tension
305
00:13:43,832 --> 00:13:45,902
from my car almost being stolen.
306
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:47,802
I could really use a massage.
307
00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:50,039
I'll get undressed.
308
00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,174
Yeah, me, too!
309
00:14:00,316 --> 00:14:03,153
Hey, there's a carnival
in town this weekend.
310
00:14:03,253 --> 00:14:04,687
Should we go?
311
00:14:04,787 --> 00:14:07,222
Yeah!
312
00:14:09,091 --> 00:14:10,759
Wait, what are you
saying yeah to?
313
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:12,495
The carnival or the massage?
314
00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:14,931
Yeah!
315
00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:17,366
Yeah.
316
00:14:17,466 --> 00:14:19,835
Yeah, that clears it up.
317
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:23,838
My God, did I eat all these?
318
00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:27,143
Damn, this is well-crafted.
319
00:14:29,611 --> 00:14:31,713
Give me your key.
320
00:14:31,813 --> 00:14:34,817
Fine. I have
three other points of entry.
321
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,719
What happened to your cousin?
322
00:14:36,818 --> 00:14:38,254
She get kidnapped again?
323
00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:39,822
Yeah, by Spencer.
324
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,191
Wait, what are you doing?
325
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:43,293
You want to watch movies
with bad words?
326
00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:45,061
I can't. I'm only here
327
00:14:45,161 --> 00:14:47,730
because I left my checkbook.
It's probably in my desk.
328
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:48,965
That's not your desk!
329
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:52,201
Then why is my checkbook in it?
330
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:55,205
Olive and I are about to go
protest the froyo shop.
331
00:14:55,304 --> 00:14:57,673
They stopped carrying
rainbow sprinkles,
332
00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:00,576
and we're not gonna
take this lying down.
333
00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:04,014
Now you're third-wheeling me,
too?!
334
00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:06,716
You're not a third wheel...
You were never invited at all.
335
00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:08,051
Bye-ee!
336
00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:10,885
I'm never having kids.
337
00:15:14,524 --> 00:15:17,293
I'm so glad we ventured out...
That carnival was a blast.
338
00:15:17,393 --> 00:15:19,828
It was... something.
339
00:15:20,596 --> 00:15:22,398
I was just in awe
340
00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:25,400
of how you were able to win
this unicorn for me.
341
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,869
What can I say?
342
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,504
I'm incredibly good
at ring toss.
343
00:15:29,605 --> 00:15:31,274
So...
344
00:15:31,374 --> 00:15:34,543
do you have any thoughts on
what you'd like to do tonight?
345
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,578
I do have a few ideas.
346
00:15:36,678 --> 00:15:38,913
I do, too! Actually...
347
00:15:39,014 --> 00:15:41,054
I was hoping to check out
the tiki bar in the lobby.
348
00:15:41,116 --> 00:15:43,918
I need some alcohol
to absorb all that chocolate.
349
00:15:44,919 --> 00:15:46,688
Great idea, Carly.
350
00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:48,390
Here, take this wad of cash.
351
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:50,559
Have so much fun, okay?
352
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:52,528
Let us know how it is. Bye!
353
00:15:58,933 --> 00:16:00,011
Thank you, Snoqualmie Suites
354
00:16:00,035 --> 00:16:01,471
for hooking us up this weekend!
355
00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:03,572
My friends and I are
having so much fun
356
00:16:03,673 --> 00:16:07,043
all together
in the same place right now.
357
00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:09,845
What now?
Okay, yeah, I'm coming.
358
00:16:09,945 --> 00:16:13,649
I guess it's my turn
to dance on the bar.
359
00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:15,551
Got to go.
360
00:16:18,488 --> 00:16:20,090
Another Lonely Lady?
361
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:22,924
I mean, I'm alone,
362
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,693
but I'm not "lonely."
363
00:16:24,793 --> 00:16:27,129
I mean, sure, I got ditched
on my girls' trip
364
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,630
because I brought
my best guy friend
365
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:31,134
-and apparently he brought
his A-game, but... -No.
366
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:32,501
That's the name of your drink.
367
00:16:32,601 --> 00:16:34,937
Do you want another Lonely Lady?
368
00:16:36,306 --> 00:16:38,207
Yes, please.
369
00:16:43,245 --> 00:16:44,580
Hey, Harper.
370
00:16:44,679 --> 00:16:47,250
- How's it going? Bad.
- How's it going? Bad.
371
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,119
You first, so I can top you
372
00:16:49,219 --> 00:16:50,720
with how amazingly awful
my thing is.
373
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,587
Okay, try this.
374
00:16:52,687 --> 00:16:54,990
Freddie and Brooke are getting
couples' massages,
375
00:16:55,091 --> 00:16:58,327
winning unicorns and hooking up
in the honeymoon suite
376
00:16:58,427 --> 00:17:00,462
while I'm drinking
a drink for losers.
377
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:03,265
That drink looks good though.
I'm gonna make one.
378
00:17:03,365 --> 00:17:04,534
What's in it?
379
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:07,670
Aperol, vermouth, and amaro.
380
00:17:07,769 --> 00:17:10,972
-Do we have those? -We have
warm white wine and vodka.
381
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,708
Close enough.
382
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:14,109
Ooh!
383
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,645
Virtual girls' trip!
384
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:19,815
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
385
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,951
Okay, out-depress me.
386
00:17:22,050 --> 00:17:23,153
If you think you can.
387
00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:24,720
Maeve ditched me for Spencer.
388
00:17:24,819 --> 00:17:27,390
Maeve ditched me
for sexual purposes
389
00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:29,325
with Spencer.
390
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,326
I wish there were any way
391
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,462
I could be misinterpreting this.
392
00:17:33,563 --> 00:17:35,631
Should I just come home?
393
00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:37,900
No, it's your girls' trip!
394
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,969
Go up there!
Freddie needs to learn
395
00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:41,936
that it's besties before testes!
396
00:17:42,037 --> 00:17:44,307
Yeah. You know what?
397
00:17:44,406 --> 00:17:45,807
You do that, too.
398
00:17:45,907 --> 00:17:48,844
Tell Maeve
it's cousins before "huggins."
399
00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:50,980
Not as good, but yeah!
400
00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:58,921
Okay, that's it.
401
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:01,290
I'm sick of you two having
all the fun without me.
402
00:18:01,391 --> 00:18:03,393
Can I uncover my eyes?
403
00:18:03,492 --> 00:18:04,993
It's getting pretty intimate.
404
00:18:05,094 --> 00:18:06,162
We're playing MASH.
405
00:18:06,261 --> 00:18:08,298
I hope I get mansion.
406
00:18:08,397 --> 00:18:10,132
I love that game.
407
00:18:10,232 --> 00:18:11,567
Please, will you do me, too?
408
00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:13,236
I'll do both of you.
409
00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:14,903
- Be right back.
- Great.
410
00:18:18,574 --> 00:18:20,276
What are you doing here?
411
00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:21,720
I was trying
to get some alone time.
412
00:18:21,743 --> 00:18:23,212
You want some alone time?
413
00:18:23,313 --> 00:18:25,315
Try going on a trip with you.
414
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,017
You're right, I'm sorry.
415
00:18:28,116 --> 00:18:29,719
I ditched you. It's just...
416
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:32,188
ever since I got divorced,
the second time,
417
00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:34,324
also the first time,
but mostly the second time,
418
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:38,160
I just felt like I'm never gonna
meet someone who's right for me.
419
00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:39,894
You feel that way about Brooke?
420
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,396
I don't know, maybe.
421
00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:43,499
It's fun making out with her.
422
00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:45,934
Fair enough.
423
00:18:46,035 --> 00:18:49,070
I just wish I got to make out
with someone, too.
424
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,673
Ding dong.
425
00:18:51,441 --> 00:18:53,276
I might be able
to help you with that.
426
00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:56,445
You know, it took me a minute,
but I think I finally get
427
00:18:56,546 --> 00:18:58,480
what you two have
been trying to tell me.
428
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,415
The honeymoon suite,
429
00:19:00,516 --> 00:19:03,486
the massage, Harper conveniently
430
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:05,988
not being able to come
at the last minute.
431
00:19:06,087 --> 00:19:07,390
Not to mention
432
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:09,592
the obvious sexual tension
433
00:19:09,692 --> 00:19:11,326
between me and Carly.
434
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:14,096
The which what?
435
00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:17,299
You want Hot Mess Brooke
436
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,702
for a hot messy threesome.
437
00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:22,805
- I don't think...
- Let's hear the woman out.
438
00:19:22,904 --> 00:19:26,040
Okay, I say
we just jump right in.
439
00:19:26,141 --> 00:19:28,743
You know, because rules
and boundaries,
440
00:19:28,844 --> 00:19:31,212
they make everything so blah.
441
00:19:31,314 --> 00:19:32,615
Brooke, we...
442
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,784
we're not trying to have
a threesome with you.
443
00:19:34,884 --> 00:19:36,685
God.
444
00:19:36,786 --> 00:19:39,755
Why does
this keep happening to me?
445
00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:42,991
First at that funeral
and then at the DMV.
446
00:19:43,092 --> 00:19:45,494
I'm just gonna grab
another drink
447
00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:48,763
from the hallway and go home.
448
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,068
Do either of you know
where I parked my car?
449
00:19:54,169 --> 00:19:55,738
No?
450
00:19:55,837 --> 00:19:58,207
Okay, I'll just walk around
451
00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,442
and listen for the "boop, boop."
452
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:03,045
Bye.
453
00:20:05,146 --> 00:20:07,782
Our girls' trip was
a bust? -Yeah.
454
00:20:07,883 --> 00:20:10,019
I got ditched, drank alone,
455
00:20:10,118 --> 00:20:12,221
ruined your hook-up,
started an argument
456
00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:14,222
and then Brooke went home early.
457
00:20:14,324 --> 00:20:17,460
Yep. Sounds like every
girls' trip I've ever been on.
458
00:20:17,559 --> 00:20:19,362
Yay, I did it.
459
00:20:19,461 --> 00:20:20,895
Ha, ha!
460
00:20:20,996 --> 00:20:23,465
I wonder why she thought
we'd be into a threesome?
461
00:20:23,566 --> 00:20:25,134
Yeah, it was so out of the blue.
462
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:26,736
Right?
463
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,606
- Should I get a separate room?
- Yeah, definitely.
464
00:20:39,348 --> 00:20:42,917
And that's why you don't mix
white wine with vodka.
465
00:20:43,685 --> 00:20:46,154
Did I learn nothing in college?
466
00:20:46,255 --> 00:20:48,257
Ahoy.
467
00:20:48,357 --> 00:20:49,525
Dim sum?
468
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:50,660
What about the gluten?
469
00:20:50,759 --> 00:20:52,994
Sundays were always cheat days.
470
00:20:53,095 --> 00:20:55,263
I really missed you.
471
00:20:55,365 --> 00:20:56,832
I missed you more.
472
00:20:56,932 --> 00:20:59,501
And, look, you know,
I'm happy that you and Spencer
473
00:20:59,602 --> 00:21:01,170
are getting along so...
474
00:21:01,269 --> 00:21:03,838
You're the person I missed
the most while I was gone,
475
00:21:03,939 --> 00:21:05,840
and you're the person
I'm most excited
476
00:21:05,941 --> 00:21:07,910
to spend time with
now that I'm back.
477
00:21:08,009 --> 00:21:10,346
Aw, you're my number one girl.
478
00:21:10,445 --> 00:21:12,047
Yeah.
479
00:21:14,048 --> 00:21:16,486
And there's
my other number one girl.
480
00:21:16,586 --> 00:21:17,819
Don't make fun of my shirt.
481
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,255
I got chocolate
on all my other ones.
482
00:21:20,355 --> 00:21:22,491
Look at us all together.
483
00:21:22,592 --> 00:21:24,559
I'm finally here
with my "best friend
484
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,362
unless my cousin
ever resurfaces"
485
00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:28,498
and my cousin who resurfaced!
486
00:21:28,597 --> 00:21:30,265
You two are gonna
love each other.
487
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:32,300
But just as friends, right?
488
00:21:32,402 --> 00:21:34,869
Did Brooke try a threesome?
489
00:21:34,970 --> 00:21:37,072
I heard she's good.
490
00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:38,840
You should've done it.
491
00:21:38,941 --> 00:21:41,443
We're here
for the girls' brunch!
492
00:21:41,544 --> 00:21:42,845
What is with you men?
493
00:21:42,944 --> 00:21:44,547
Can we have anything
to ourselves?
494
00:21:44,646 --> 00:21:45,780
Freddie said he was coming.
495
00:21:45,881 --> 00:21:47,316
He earned his spot.
496
00:21:47,416 --> 00:21:48,917
King of the girls' trip!
497
00:21:50,152 --> 00:21:52,521
Hey, Harper,
can I borrow your phone?
498
00:21:52,622 --> 00:21:53,788
Sure. Why?
499
00:21:53,888 --> 00:21:55,691
I'm not a dim sum person.
500
00:21:55,790 --> 00:21:57,527
I'm ordering a pizza.
501
00:21:57,626 --> 00:21:59,060
This is fun.
502
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:00,905
You know, we should make
this a regular thing.
503
00:22:00,930 --> 00:22:03,732
Which is going to be
a lot easier
504
00:22:03,833 --> 00:22:06,801
because... I'm dropping anchor
in Seattle.
505
00:22:06,902 --> 00:22:07,936
- Really?
- That's great.
506
00:22:08,037 --> 00:22:09,304
You can stay with us.
507
00:22:09,404 --> 00:22:10,573
I'll make you a key.
508
00:22:10,673 --> 00:22:11,874
Thank you.
509
00:22:11,973 --> 00:22:13,334
Actually,
she's gonna stay with me.
510
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:14,544
Now what now?
511
00:22:14,644 --> 00:22:15,944
Just while I look for a place.
512
00:22:16,045 --> 00:22:18,647
Or... who knows?
513
00:22:23,685 --> 00:22:24,987
Wow.
514
00:22:25,086 --> 00:22:27,088
I missed a lot
on that girls' trip.
515
00:22:27,189 --> 00:22:28,490
So did I.
516
00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:31,359
And I was here the whole time.
517
00:22:31,461 --> 00:22:33,394
Stop!
518
00:23:02,023 --> 00:23:04,226
Ooh.
36092
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