Original subtitles

Man: GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

NOW, I DO WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU

FOR ATTENDING THIS PREVIEW OF MY UPCOMING SHOW.

ACTUALLY, I DO PREFER TO CALL IT A RECEPTION

BECAUSE, AS YOU CAN SEE, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE

WHO HAVE JUST ARRIVED

AND I DO WANT YOU TO MEET THEM.

NOW, IT IS QUITE POSSIBLE

THAT YOU HAVE MET SOME OF THEM BEFORE, AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER

BECAUSE THEY COME FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE

ALL MARCHES OF TIME.

THEY ARE THOSE MEMBERS OF HUMANITY

AT PERHAPS WHOM YOU HAVE ALWAYS WISHED TO STARE

OR EXAMINE, OR SCRUTINIZE

IN AN ATTEMPT TO EXPERIENCE WHAT IT'S LIKE...

YOU WON'T BE SORRY YOU CAME WITH ME.

EVEN IF IT DID TAKE SIX PHONE CALLS.

SEVEN.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS GUY'S WORK.

YOU SEE, I'M DOING A TERM PAPER ON HENRY ROBERTS' STATUES.

SO FAR, I'VE JUST SEEN PICTURES OF THEM

BUT NOW I'LL GET TO SEE THEM UP CLOSE.

THEY'RE SO REALISTIC, THEY WILL BLOW YOUR SOCKS OFF.

...AND MAY I SUGGEST, HERE WE STAND.

GENTLEMEN.

( viewers ooh and ah )

( admiring chatter )

AH, LOOK AT THE DETAIL.

THE HAIR, THE FINGERNAILS, THE WRINKLES.

YET THESE ARE STATUES, DIANA.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

HE IS A GENIUS.

HE'S A GENIUS.

( gasps ) OH, NO.

( horrified cries )

I'M SORRY.

IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

NO HARM DONE, NO HARM DONE.

NOT EVEN A DENT.

MR. ROBERTS, I'VE GOT TO KNOW

HOW YOU MAKE THESE STATUES.

I AM AFRAID I HAVE GOT

TO KEEP THAT A SECRET.

OH, BUT I'M DOING A TERM PAPER ON YOUR STATUES.

HAROLD, HAROLD...

I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOING TO IMPRESS HIM.

BINGO.

( thunderclap )

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

* WONDER WOMAN *

( picking lock )

( picking lock )

OF COURSE, IT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE SO LIFELIKE

THAT CRITICS PUT THEM DOWN.

ART SEEKS TO INTERPRET LIFE, NOT MERELY TO IMITATE IT.

HAROLD, I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED THE ART LECTURE

BUT I'VE GOT TO GO.

SURELY YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE NOW

WHEN WE FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO TALK, MISS...

PRINCE, DIANA PRINCE.

AND I REALLY DO HAVE TO GO.

I FOUND YOUR WORK SO INTRIGUING

THAT I'M 15 MINUTES LATE ALREADY.

UH, NO, YOU STAY AND TALK.

I'LL GET THE CAR AND BRING IT AROUND.

BUTTER HIM UP.

TRY TO MAKE HIM TELL YOU HIS TECHNIQUE.

UM, HAROLD...

I DROVE.

CAR'S IN THE SHOP.

TELL ME, UM...

IS SENATOR FARNUM'S SON YOUR USUAL ESCORT?

THERE ARE MANY WORDS I COULD USE TO DESCRIBE HAROLD.

"USUAL" IS BY NO MEANS ONE OF THEM.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THIS ISN'T YOUR CAR.

WELL, UH, ONE OF US MADE A MISTAKE...

YOU.

HEY, LOOK, LOOK.

START MARCHING.

COME ON.

GO TO THE LEFT, GO.

WHATEVER YOU PLAN TO DO WITH ME

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT.

I KNOW DIANA PRINCE.

SHE ISN'T GOING TO LIKE WHAT YOU DID TO HER CAR.

WHATEVER YOU PLAN TO DO TO ME.

YOU HEAR ME?

YOU HEAR ME?

OH, HAROLD, YOU CHUMP!

Trevor: YOU MEAN SOME GUY PULLED A GUN ON HAROLD FARNUM

AND LEFT A POEM IN YOUR CAR?

"ONE OF SEVERAL MISSING TREASURES

"NUMBER NINE, AS OF TODAY.

"FIND THE METHOD TO THIS MADNESS

FOR I'M SOON TO STEAL AWAY."

REAL CATCHY.

HAS IRA TAKEN A LOOK AT THIS?

YEAH, HE SCANNED IT FOR FINGERPRINTS

AND TRIED TO TRACE THOSE LETTERS-- NOTHING.

WELL, ONE THING WE KNOW FOR SURE

IS THAT WHOEVER LEFT THIS IN YOUR CAR

HAS BEEN STEALING ART OBJECTS

AND WANTS TO BRAG ABOUT IT.

UM, WHAT IS THIS GLASS BOWL?

HAVE YOU CHECKED IT OUT?

IT'S FAMOUS HOLLENBECK CRYSTAL.

IT WAS STOLEN ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO

FROM A PRIVATE COLLECTOR IN ALEXANDRIA.

BUT IRA DID COME UP WITH A LIST OF NAMES...

PEOPLE WHO MIGHT KNOW WHERE IT IS.

AH, A LIST OF FENCES.

HE SAYS THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE IS

ONE SHUBERT GORING DOWN ON ST. PAUL.

I'LL GIVE HIM YOUR REGARDS

IF THE CHARADE THAT I'M GOING TO PLAY WORKS.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE, DIANA.

WE COULD LET THE POLICE HANDLE THIS.

YES, BUT WE WERE THE ONES

THAT WERE TIPPED OFF TO THESE ROBBERIES.

NOT THE POLICE, NOT THE F.B.I., BUT US.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WORRIES ME.

WELL, DON'T LET IT WORRY YOU.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

LOOKS LIKE A GARAGE SALE.

HEY, HARV, HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT, LOOKING GOOD.

USE A THREE IRON-- BETTER.

HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?

DON'T ASK, DON'T BOTHER, FELLOWS.

I CAN MANAGE MYSELF.

WELL, DIANA PRINCE GOT HER MESSAGE

NO THANKS TO THAT FARNUM KID.

Roberts: HE I.D.'d YOU?

( chuckles ): NO BIG DEAL.

WELL, MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING

THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE ON FIELD ASSIGNMENT

AS OF THIS AFTERNOON.

USUAL BONUS?

15,000.

OH... WHAT AM I THIS TIME?

YOU ARE A DISGRUNTLED HOUSE PAINTER.

( chuckles )

WHAT ABOUT THE N.I.M. UNIT?

MM-HMM.

IT IS BUILT INTO THESE GLASSES, HERE, SEE?

AH...

THIS SHOULD WORK.

HMM...

HMM, VERY NICE.

STUDY THIS.

15,000.

SOMEBODY'S OUT FRONT.

THEY'RE ASKING ABOUT THE HOLLENBECK BOWL.

POLICE?

NO, SOME LADY.

YES, BUT...

INCREDIBLE

HOW LIFELIKE SHE IS, ISN'T IT?

WELL, I'M NOT REALLY INTO STATUES...

MR. GORING.

I'M INTO CRYSTAL...

AS IN...

HOLLENBECK.

MY EMPLOYER IS READY TO PAY YOU...

$85,000

TO TAKE IT OFF YOUR HANDS.

HIS NAME IS BOB... BERTOLUCCI.

MR. BERTOLUCCI'S FONDNESS FOR FINE ART IS WELL KNOWN.

WHAT IS NOT WELL KNOWN IS THAT HE WENT INTO HIDING IN BRAZIL

FIVE MONTHS AGO.

WELL, YOU SHOULD SEE HIS PHONE BILLS.

I HAVE.

LET ME SEE THE CRYSTAL, MR. GORING...

OR ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT, UH...

YOU DON'T HAVE IT?

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

EXCUSE ME.

THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT GIRL.

I AGREE.

WELL, THEN WHY ARE YOU GETTING THE BOWL OUT?

WHY NOT?

AFTER ALL, THE POOR GIRL IS GOING TO HAVE

SUCH A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT ON HER WAY HOME.

THE CRYSTAL, IT'S BEEN STOLEN!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STOLEN?

FROM YOU? YOU'RE A FENCE.

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?

UP!

( bell dings )

WAIT, SHE'S COMING DOWN.

DIANA PRINCE IS MAKING A PHONE CALL...

TO THE POLICE, I THINK.

( engine revving )

COME ON, MAN.

I'M TRYING!

COME ON!

IF YOU INSIST.

( crash )

YOU, UH, KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, DON'T YOU?

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO WALK TO THE POLICE STATION.

SURPRISE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEET.

TAD!

OH, TADDY.

AN ORIGINAL HENRY ROBERTS STATUE!

OH, I'VE WANTED ONE EVER SO LONG!

I COMMISSIONED HENRY ROBERTS PERSONALLY.

I GAVE HIM EXACT SPECIFICATIONS.

UH, MM... DOESN'T IT LOOK A BIT, UH... FAMILIAR?

WHY, IT'S MR. BANCROFT!

RIGHT!

THAT'S JUST HOW HE LOOKED

WHEN I MADE HIM DO THE LIVING ROOM OVER

FOR THE FOURTH TIME.

( chuckles )

HE NEVER DID GET THE COLOR RIGHT.

OH... DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

OH, I ADORE IT, TADDY.

THIS WILL BE A BIRTHDAY I SHALL NEVER FORGET.

MMM...

Trevor: IRA, IS THIS THE LIST YOU PROMISED ME?

Affirmative.

It describes ten art objects, including the bowl

all of which were stolen

under suspiciously similar circumstances.

HMM, IN EACH CASE, THERE ARE NO WINDOWS BROKEN

NO LOCKS DESTROYED, NO... NO SIGN OF FORCIBLE ENTRY AT ALL.

Each case would indicate an inside job.

HMM? IRA, HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING GANGSTER MOVIES AGAIN?

Of course not.

Only Kojak reruns.

OH.

IT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME M.O. WAS USED TO STEAL

A PAINTING OF A LION WORTH $90,000...

A STATUE OF A GOAT WORTH 75 GRAND...

A MODERN ART PIECE, ANOTHER SCULPTURE.

UH-OH, HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

Affirmative.

It is advisable that you investigate the tenth theft

that of the ram medallion which occurred last night.

IRA, YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.

NOW HERE'S ANOTHER WORD FOR YOU: BYE.

( Ira blows raspberry )

AFTERNOON, MR. ROBERTS.

I STILL HAVE NO INTENTION OF TELLING YOU

HOW I MAKE MY STATUES.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE MATERIAL YOU USE.

I DON'T CARE.

TELL ME IF I'M CLOSE.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU SEEM TO SPEAK ENGLISH

BUT NOT TO UNDERSTAND IT.

WAIT!

I WILL NOT TELL YOU.

HEY! NO.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

HEY.

I'M DOING A TERM PAPER ON YOUR STATUES.

( horn honks )

WHAT A PAIN IN THE...

NO, NO. HENRY, HENRY.

MR. FARNUM'S PERSISTENCE IS NOT TO BE DISCOURAGED.

HAD HE NOT INSISTED

DIANA PRINCE ACCOMPANY HIM TO YOUR OPENING

WE WOULDN'T BE RUNNING AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TELEPHONE CALLS

I IGNORED FROM HIM YESTERDAY? TEN. TEN!

I BELIEVE HIS RECORD IS 14.

OH... OH...

I TAKE IT YOU'VE ACQUIRED THE RAM MEDALLION?

HOW MUCH DO WE FENCE IT FOR?

IT'S WORTH 100,000, SO START AT 75.

GO NO LESS THAN 60.

EPPERLY WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

THREE MORE DAYS, HENRY.

AND THEN NO ART PIECE WE ACQUIRE

WILL BE ANYTHING LESS... THAN PRICELESS.

HMM.

( chuckles )

( bird whistling )

MY BIRTHDAY.

OF ALL THE DAYS SOME DREADFUL PERSON

COULD PICK TO RUIN MY LIFE.

WE PAID $7,428 TO INSTALL AN ALARM SYSTEM IN HERE

AND WE HEARD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LAST NIGHT.

( sighs )

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR MYSELF BADMOUTH

THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM

BUT IT DOES GIVE YOU PAUSE, DOESN'T IT?

WELL, WHAT DOES REALLY GIVE ME PAUSE

IS THAT OUT OF A WHOLE ROOM OF EXPENSIVE OBJECTS

THE RAM MEDALLION WAS THE ONLY THING THAT WAS STOLEN.

IT WAS YOUR COUSIN MARVIN-- HE STOLE IT.

HE ALWAYS HAD HIS EYE ON THAT MEDALLION.

NOW, NOW, PUMPKIN.

PLEASE FORGIVE HER, SHE'S VERY UPSET.

YESTERDAY WAS HER BIRTHDAY.

HER BIRTHDAY. YES, I KNOW.

( phone rings )

HELLO?

YES, I SUPPOSE--

IT'S FOR YOU.

THANK YOU. EXCUSE ME.

YOU'D THINK WE WERE RUNNING AN ANSWERING SERVICE.

TREVOR.

Steve.

OH, HI, DIANA.

GOT ANYTHING?

What I've got are no fingerprints

NO BROKEN LOCKS OR WINDOWS AND NO $100,000 MEDALLION.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Well, um, you know those two men

Wonder Woman brought in, Goring's men?

YEAH. One of them made a deal with the police

fingered a man that he's pretty sure

is going to fence the stolen art objects.

YEAH, HIS NAME IS CARMICHAEL GOODMAN

AND HE RUNS AN ART SUPPLY STORE DOWN ON GAYLORD.

WELL, COULD BE OUR THIEF

WILL TRY TO GET THE MEDALLION TO GOODMAN TODAY.

BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. Will do.

OH, DIANA, BY THE WAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT HAROLD FARNUM

TRIED TO CALL YOU EIGHT TIMES THIS MORNING?

THAT'S NOTHING, HIS RECORD IS 14.

I BELIEVE IT.

I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, STEVE.

All right, bye.

WELL, MR. GOODMAN, YOU ARE ABOUT TO GROW ANOTHER SHADOW.

( tires screech )

( horn honks )

LOOKING FOR MR. GOODMAN?

HOLD IT!

STAY PUT, MR. GOODMAN.

I'M IN TROUBLE.

GIVE ME FIVE SECONDS, THEN FREEZE ME.

COLONEL.

COLONEL TREVOR.

HAROLD FARNUM, WE MET ONCE LAST YEAR.

OH, YES, YES.

UH, HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE?

OH, THEY GAVE ME CLEARANCE DOWNSTAIRS.

I TOLD THEM I'M DOING A LITTLE BUSINESS FOR MY FATHER.

I SEE.

WELL, DIANA ISN'T HERE.

OH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH HER SINCE 8:00 THIS MORNING.

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE A NOTE FOR HER DOWNSTAIRS?

I CAME ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

LOOK AT THIS, COLONEL.

ROMULUS AND REMUS, THE TWO ROBERTS STATUES COMMISSIONED

BY THE ITALIAN GOVERNMENT?

WELL, I DON'T SEE WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE I.A.D.C.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

YOU SEE, I'M DOING A TERM PAPER ON HENRY ROBERTS' STATUES.

TRY THE LIBRARY.

NO, I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT

EXACTLY WHAT THEY'RE MADE OF.

THEN ASK HENRY ROBERTS.

I HAVE, BELIEVE ME.

YOU SEE, I WANT TO TAKE

ALL THE INFORMATION I HAVE

LIKE THE PICTURE OF THE TWINS HERE, OKAY?

I GOT THE PICTURE OF THE FISHERMAN.

THIS IS THE LADY READING A BOOK.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THESE?

YES, YES, I'VE SEEN THEM.

I WANT TO TAKE ALL THE INFORMATION I'VE GATHERED

FEED IT INTO YOUR COMPUTER

AND SEE IF HE CAN COME UP WITH WHAT THEY'RE MADE OF.

YOU WANT TO USE THE COMPUTER?

YEAH.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

BUT DIANA SAID THAT IRA COULD FIGURE IT OUT IN NO TIME.

( gasps )

HAROLD, GET OFF MY BACK.

Harold: WHAT IS THAT?

THAT'S OUR ROVING COMPUTER MODULE.

EXCUSE ME.

THANKS, ROVER.

Don't mention it.

COMPUTER MODULE.

HOLD ON A SECOND.

UH, ROVER.

Something else?

ROVER, THIS IS HAROLD FARNUM, SENATOR FARNUM'S SON.

I HAVE A FEELING WE'LL BE SEEING A LOT OF HIM HERE.

I'D LIKE YOU TO COMMIT HIS VOICE PATTERN

TO YOUR MEMORY CIRCUITS.

SAY SOMETHING, HAROLD.

HI, ROVER.

UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

What do you say?

WHAT DID HE SAY?

NO TELLING.

NOW, HAROLD, GETTING BACK TO THE IRAC COMPUTER

I'M AFRAID I.A.D.C. POLICY STRICTLY FORBIDS IT.

BUT I KNOW ALL ABOUT COMPUTERS.

I TOOK A COURSE LAST SEMESTER.

KEYPUNCH, YOU NAME IT.

I KNOW IT ALL.

HAROLD, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

THE POINT IS THAT IT COSTS APPROXIMATELY $100 PER MINUTE

FOR EVEN ME TO USE IT.

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY JUSTIFY

YOU USING IT TO RESEARCH A TERM PAPER NOW, COULD I?

I GUESS NOT.

WELL, THANKS, COLONEL TREVOR.

HAROLD, I'M SORRY.

LISTEN, I'LL TELL DIANA THAT YOU WERE IN TO SEE HER.

SHE'LL BE DELIGHTED.

OH!

THANKS.

DELIGHTED SHE MISSED YOU.

WHEW.

ROVER!

THIS IS HAROLD FARNUM.

I know.

TAKE ME TO THE IRAC COMPUTER.

GOT IT?

The IRAC computer?

YES, TAKE ME TO THE IRAC COMPUTER.

Okay, follow me.

THE COMPUTER'S IN HERE?

That's right.

THANKS, ROVER.

I'LL RETURN THE FAVOR SOME DAY.

Don't mention it.

( laughing )

WELL, I GUESS THERE'S ONLY ONE THING LEFT FOR ME TO DO.

SORRY TO TAKE MY PROBLEMS OUT ON YOU, BUDDY.

BUT IF I DON'T GET AN "A" ON THAT TERM PAPER

I'LL NEVER PLEDGE PI CHI PSI.

THE ONLY WAY TO GET AN "A" IS TO FIND OUT

EXACTLY HOW YOU GUYS ARE PUT TOGETHER.

AND SINCE NOBODY WILL TELL ME

I'LL HAVE TO DO MY OWN LITTLE ANALYSIS.

I WONDER WHAT KIND OF SURGERY MARCUS WELBY'D CALL THIS?

( object clatters on floor )

I DIDN'T... I WAS JUST... HOW, HOW DID YOU DO...

I'LL JUST BE LEAVING, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT.

COME ON.

COME ON.

NOTHING.

ANOTHER DEAD END.

ALL CARMICHAEL GOODMAN COULD TELL WONDER WOMAN WAS

THAT HE WAS GOING TO TRY TO FENCE THE MEDALLION

FOR A MAN NAMED ED EPPERLY.

THE MAN WHO GOT AWAY?

I HAD HIM CHECKED OUT WITH THE POLICE

AND CAME UP WITH A BIG, FAT ZERO.

SO HERE WE ARE BACK AT SQUARE ONE.

CORRECTION.

HERE YOU ARE BACK AT SQUARE ONE.

ME, I'M GOING HOME.

SOMEHOW, A NICE, QUIET, BORING EVENING IN FRONT OF THE TV

SOUNDS AWFULLY GOOD RIGHT NOW.

YEAH. I KNOW THE FEELING.

GOOD NIGHT.

( pulsing rapidly )

( rattles )

NOW.

( alarm wails )

( alarm dies out )

( machine whistling )

( Rover beeps )

Good morning, Steve Trevor.

THE LAB BOYS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DO SOMETHING

ABOUT YOUR SNEAK ATTACKS.

Sorry about that.

YOU GOT MY COFFEE?

Uh-oh. Forgot the coffee.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

IRA, I TAKE IT.

"THE IRAC COMPUTER MUST SPEAK WITH STEVE TREVOR."

WELL, YOU TELL YOUR BOSS

I'LL BE IN RIGHT AFTER I FINISH A FEW THINGS HERE.

Now.

He wants to see you now.

WELL, GO ON, TELL HIM.

I'LL JUST BET IRA PROGRAMMED YOU NOT TO MOVE

UNLESS I CAME WITH YOU.

You guessed it.

OKAY, OKAY.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A REAL LONG TALK WITH THOSE LAB BOYS.

OKAY, IRA, WHAT DO YOU GOT?

Good morning, Steve Trevor.

LOOK, IRA, FOR SOME REASON

I HAVEN'T HAD MY COFFEE THIS MORNING

SO LET'S DISPENSE WITH THE PLEASANTRIES

GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

A matter of great importance

has been called to the attention

of the Irac computer by POLISY.

BY WHO?

The police intelligence system.

Its computer has recorded another art theft.

WHERE?

A solid gold statue worth $125,000

was stolen last night from the Putney Museum.

SAME M.O. AS THE OTHER THEFTS, I TAKE IT?

No broken windows, no signs of forced entry.

MUST BE AN INSIDE JOB.

Have you been watching gangster movies

again, Steve Trevor?

VERY FUNNY.

I'D BETTER GET DIANA OVER THERE RIGHT AWAY.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

YOU DON'T HAVE A MOUTH.

GOOD-BYE.

Don't go away mad.

AND AS FOR YOU, COFFEE, CREAM, NO SUGAR, FIVE MINUTES.

AND A HALF A GRAPEFRUIT.

( machine pulsing )

( pulses increase to high-pitched whirring )

WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

SUSPENDED YOUR ANIMATION, MR. FARNUM.

ELECTRONICALLY AND MOST EFFECTIVELY.

SEE, ALL OF HENRY'S SO-CALLED STATUES ARE

AS YOU WERE ABOUT TO DISCOVER, FLESH-AND-BLOOD INDIVIDUALS

DELICATELY FROZEN BY A MINUTE STREAM OF ELECTRONS

CONTROLLED BY A NEURO-IMPULSE MODULATOR

DEVELOPED BY THAT BRILLIANT NEUROPHYSIOLOGIST

Robert Henry.

PRESENTLY KNOWN TO HIS FRIENDS AS HENRY ROBERTS.

YEAH?

WHO ARE YOU?

LLOYD MOREAUX, PATRON OF THE ARTS, AND SOON TO BE MUCH MORE.

YEAH, WELL, LOOK, MY FATHER'S A SENATOR.

Yes, I've met him.

Fine fellow.

WELL, I'VE GOT OTHER CONNECTIONS, TOO.

MESS WITH ME, YOU MESS WITH THE I.A.D.C.

THAT IS PRECISELY WHAT I WAS COUNTING ON.

Diana Prince has even bigger connections.

When she figures out what you...

Huh?

NEVER YOU MIND, MR. FARNUM.

NEVER YOU MIND.

THAT'S JUST WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HEAR, HENRY.

( pulsing decreases, slows )

LET'S MAKE SURE THAT MS. PRINCE

DOES INDEED FIGURE IT OUT, SHALL WE?

I TRUST YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE I.A.D.C.?

YES, SIR.

PUT HIM AWAY.

( ringing )

"YOUR TIME RUNS OUT AT MIDNIGHT.

"I'M SURPRISED AT YOU, MISS PRINCE.

"IF YOU DON'T BREAK THE CYCLE SOON

YOU'LL NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE."

Trevor: THE VALUE OF THE STOLEN ARTWORKS

IS MORE THAN $2 MILLION.

AND IF WONDER WOMAN

HADN'T RECOVERED THAT MEDALLION

OUR THIEF WOULD BE WELL ON HIS WAY

TO MAKING IT $3 MILLION.

YEAH, AND WHOEVER HE IS

HE'S SURE EAGER WE DON'T FORGET IT.

YOU KNOW, BOTH OF HIS RIDDLES SEEM TO INDICATE

THAT HE'S STEALING THESE ARTWORKS

IN SOME KIND OF A PATTERN.

YEAH, WELL, WHATEVER THE PATTERN IS

IT'S ABOUT TO END.

THAT'S ABOUT ALL

WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE OUT

WHICH IS WHY I HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO CONSULT MR. PERSONALITY IN HERE.

CARE TO JOIN ME?

OH, NO THANKS.

I HAVE NO DESIRE TO MAKE A BAD DAY EVEN WORSE.

COWARD.

( whirring )

( beeping )

Ira: Circuits C-5 through D-7

are overheating.

OH, COME ON, IRA.

WE'VE NOT BEEN AT IT THAT LONG.

We have been at it for two hours, Diana Prince.

I need a lube job.

OKAY, OKAY.

WE'LL GO ON TO SOMETHING ELSE.

WHAT ABOUT THE SECOND RIDDLE?

UH... WHY WOULD THE THIEF WANT TO EMPHASIZE THE WORD MIDNIGHT?

Perhaps he was referring to 12:00.

TWELVE.

HE'S STOLEN 11 OBJECTS.

I'LL BET HE MEANS THE PATTERN ENDS WITH THE 12th.

A logical conclusion.

SO. WHAT PATTERN IS COMPOSED OF 12 ELEMENTS?

The word "chance" could be significant.

CHANCE?

UH, LET'S SEE...

HE'S STOLEN A STILL-LIFE OF SCALES

A JADE SCORPION, A MOSAIC ENTITLED "CENTAUR"...

LIBRA, SCORPIO AND SAGITTARIUS.

THAT'S IT.

All are symbols of the zodiac.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND IF THE LAST THING HE STOLE WAS A BULL...

Next in sequence would be twins, the symbol for Gemini.

TWINS.

ROMULUS AND REMUS, THOSE HENRY ROBERT STATUES

THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SENT TO ROME NEXT MONTH.

TEN TO ONE, THEY ARE TO BE THE THIEF'S GRAND FINALE.

THANK YOU, IRA.

I AM OFF TO CATCH A THIEF.

A word of caution

Diana Prince-- the thief obviously wanted

the I.A.D.C. to reach this conclusion.

His or her reasons are still unknown.

WELL, I'M AWARE OF THAT, IRA.

THAT'S WHY I INTEND TO GO AS, UM...

AND BE VERY CAREFUL.

BYE.

Even Wonder Woman cannot be too careful, Diana Prince.

Okay.

What's this all about?

Moreaux: IT'S ABOUT YOUR DEMISE, WONDER WOMAN.

YOUR CAREFULLY PLANNED, EAGERLY ANTICIPATED DEMISE.

WELCOME TO MY MUSEUM.

SO YOU LURED ME HERE PURPOSELY?

IT WAS ALL A PLAN

THE ART THEFTS, THE POEMS.

ALL WERE PART OF AN INTRICATE CHOREOGRAPHY.

SEE, WE KNEW THAT IF WE INVOLVED THE I.A.D.C.

YOU WOULD BE INVOLVED.

Diana Prince warned me there was more to all this

than, uh... met the eye.

WHICH IS WHY, UPON SOLVING MY RIDDLES

SHE SENT YOU HERE

RATHER THAN COMING HERSELF WITH THE POLICE.

HOW BORINGLY PREDICTABLE OF HER.

Speaking of boring, why I am here?

YOU ARE ABOUT TO BECOME MY LATEST WORK OF ART.

Moreaux: You see, several people know that my mentor here

PLANS TO OPEN HIS PUTNEY EXHIBIT

BY UNVEILING A STATUE OF WONDER WOMAN.

I SHALL BE THERE FOR THE UNVEILING.

As will you, Wonder Woman.

THIS WILL PRODUCE AN ELECTRICAL SIGNAL

WHICH WILL PLACE YOU IN A STATE OF SUSPENDED ANIMATION...

( softly ): FOREVER.

UM, NO THANK YOU.

I HAVE TWO OF MY OWN JUST LIKE IT.

UGH!

( man grunts )

AFTER I DESTROY THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME

WHO YOU ARE...

AND WHERE YOU ARE.

WAIT, WONDER WOMAN.

HAROLD?

Moreaux: Mr. Farnum is unable to answer.

IN FACT, RIGHT NOW MR. FARNUM IS UNABLE TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING.

Let him go.

AFTER THE N.I.M. UNIT IS PLACED ON YOUR WRIST.

Right now.

RIGHT NOW, I CAN PUT AN END

TO ALL OF MR. FARNUM'S VITAL FUNCTIONS.

Would you like that, Wonder Woman?

YOU WIN.

I WON THE DAY I PLANNED THIS.

The rest was simply a matter of time.

NOW, LET'S SEE... HANDS ON YOUR HIPS, I THINK.

YES, THAT'S IT.

WELL, NOW, SMILE.

SMILE THE SMILE YOU WOULD LIKE TO WEAR THROUGH ETERNITY

BECAUSE WEAR IT THROUGH ETERNITY YOU SHALL.

( electronic whining )

HENRY, SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD

WHO COULD HAVE STOOD BETWEEN US

AND EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD WORTH STEALING.

YES, THEY DO TAKE RATHER A LONG TIME

BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH IT, DON'T YOU?

OH, UH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I WANT TO SAY THAT I AM DEEPLY HONORED

THAT SO MANY OF YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO ATTEND

THIS FORMAL OPENING OF MY NEW SHOW.

AND SO, TO HONOR YOU...

MY LATEST, AND HOPEFULLY, MY BEST CREATION.

IF YOU PLEASE.

( crowd murmurs in amazement )

AH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

PLEASE, MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

AS YOU KNOW, I HAVE SUPPORTED HENRY'S WORK

FOR THREE YEARS NOW...

HELPED HIM MONETARILY AND SPIRITUALLY

AS HE STRUGGLED TO PERFECT HIS TECHNIQUE.

BUT WHATEVER DEBT HE MAY HAVE INCURRED IS NOW FORGOTTEN

FOR I, THROUGH HIM, HAVE CREATED A MASTERPIECE.

HIS STATUE CAPTURES THE VERY HEART AND SOUL

OF THE GREAT LADY IT DEPICTS

AS WONDER WOMAN HERSELF WOULD HAVE TO ADMIT, HMM?

REEL HIM IN.

WHAT A FAMILIAR VOICE YOU HAVE, MR. MOREAUX.

YOU TRICKED ME.

WELL, I HAD TO FIND OUT WHO YOU WERE SOMEHOW.

I WAS SURE THE MODULATOR WOULD WORK, EVEN ON YOU.

IT MAY VERY WELL HAVE WORKED

IF I HADN'T SWITCHED IT FOR ONE OF MY OWN BRACELETS.

OH... THAT WASN'T PART OF THE CHOREOGRAPHY.

NEITHER WAS YOUR RETURNING HAROLD FARNUM

AND THOSE OTHER STATUES TO NORMAL.

BUT THAT'S PRECISELY WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO.

SHALL WE?

Harold: SO MOREAUX FIGURED OUT

HOW TO COMBINE ROBERTS' KNOWLEDGE OF ELECTRONICS

WITH HIS OWN KNOWLEDGE OF ART

SO THEY COULD MAKE A KILLING.

OOPS, BAD CHOICE OF WORDS.

WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU STUMBLED

ONTO THEIR PLAN TO REMOVE WONDER WOMAN.

HEY, YOU KNOW, ONE GOOD THING

ABOUT WHAT THOSE GUYS DID TO ME

IT GAVE ME A LOT OF TIME TO THINK... WHICH I DID.

MOSTLY ABOUT US.

US?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?

AS IN NIGHT?

THERE'S A PARTY AT THIS FRATERNITY

I'M GOING TO PLEDGE, NEAR THE COLLEGE...

WHAT?

MY TERM PAPER.

I DON'T HAVE A TOPIC ANYMORE.

IT'S DUE IN THREE DAYS!

OH, GOSH...

DIANA, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO WORK

ON THAT PAPER TOMORROW NIGHT.

HEY, LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND.

BUT I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

I WILL, I PROMISE.

NO HURRY, HAROLD.

NO HURRY.

* WONDER WOMAN... *

* WONDER WOMAN... *

* WONDER WOMAN. *