Original subtitles

Roll the tape.

Tape rolling.

They're getting ready to pour.

Nothing.

They're no closer to finding the formula

than they were five months ago.

Looks like they're packing it up for the night.

I wish they'd either discover that formula or learn to go home

at a decent hour.

Who's that?

That's the new janitor. The kid's name is Alan Akroy.

He's a student working his way through botany school.

( whistling )

( humming )

( bubbling audible )

( rumbling )

Ooh!

Look at that!

Boy, that kid...

Discovered the formula.

( sirens wailing )

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman *

( thunderclap )

* Wonder Woman *

* Get us out from under *

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman! *

TREVOR: There's a fire in the Whitaker building.

I'm looking at the picture in the newspaper now.

The details as to how the fire started are sketchy.

That was intentional, Diana.

It seems the Whitaker building housed a lab

where an industrial group was developing a new explosive.

In the middle of a business district?

That's right.

According to our sources,

this explosive was supposed to revolutionize the industry.

It was made up of very stable

easily packaged, easily handled chemicals.

Only when it was combined with an equally stable catalyst

were they to become volatile.

Well, it looks like somebody found the catalyst.

Just who's behind all this, anyway?

Hopewell International must move and move quickly.

The fire in the lab we were using means we've succeeded.

The product that'll bring us billions

is finally within our grasp.

No, Rodney.

I've been assured the explosion did not occur spontaneously.

Human hands were involved-- a human brain.

Somebody has inadvertently learned

the secret of the Explo formula--

somebody whom we must, and will find

despite any and all interference by our enemies.

Get me B.W. on the phone.

Who are the enemies that warrant the use of such talent?

There are two: the IADC

and Rudolph Furst Enterprises.

You're absolutely certain that this Alan Akroy caused the fire?

He was in the room before everything blew.

They didn't find any bodies. It looks like he got out.

It also looks like

whatever he accidentally did in that lab

is exactly what those three Hopewell scientists

have been trying to do for the past five months.

Yes, sir.

So... it appears that if we find Alan Akroy

and make him tell us exactly what he did in that lab

then we can throw away all of our surveillance equipment

and the Explo formula will be ours free and clear.

The trouble is that Hopewell knows

everything we know about Akroy.

And the IADC would like nothing better

than to keep that Explo formula

out of the free enterprise system.

They've already employed an agent.

Diana Prince.

No matter.

I trust you know how important it is

that we be first to find this Alan Akroy.

( birds singing )

Okay, there you go. I'm warning you right now

it may be a long before anybody does this again.

Alan got himself in some fix last night--

about ten million bucks worth.

Oh, boy.

Cripes!

Holy cow.

Geez, what a time to find out how far you can go on $6.78

and one lousy change of clothes!

Come on, open up.

Oh, for Pete's sake!

( clang )

I wonder if there's a law against breaking and exiting.

( knocking )

Good morning, IRA.

Good morning, Eve.

Regarding Alan Akroy, have you tapped all of the computers

in the Los Angeles area

that have the name Alan Akroy in their memory banks?

Affirmative. The IRAC computer will now compile

a profile outlining the most likely behavior.

So we can predict his moves?

That is correct.

Is there anything you can tell us that'll help us find him?

( beeping )

According to computerized records,

he has yet to claim his laundry

at the Clean 'Em Up Company on Orchard Boulevard.

Great. If he's running, he'll probably need those clothes.

I'll give that information to Diana.

She should be landing in Los Angeles any minute now.

( rings bell )

Anybody home?

MAN: Yes.

Hi. I have a friend who's got some laundry here

and I was wondering if you could tell me

if he's got it yet.

Maybe. Name?

Akroy.

Alan Akroy.

Akroy.

The name's not in the book, but, uh...

we can check out in back.

Come on. Take you on a tour.

What? Step into your parlor?

( chuckles )

I bet you always wondered what happens to your clothes

once you surrender them at the door.

Actually, I've always been a do-it-yourselfer

when it comes to cleaning and laundry.

Oh, really?

Really.

Do you wear polyester?

No.

Well, if you did,

this is what happens to polyester.

Well, that's very interesting.

Yes.

And, uh, right here is where

we dry clean the acrylics.

You're not supposed to dry clean acrylics.

Well, now, whoever told you that?

Okay, now wait a minute. What's going on?

( grunting )

That's Diana Prince from IADC!

Go get her!

( thunderclap )

Diana, run!

( clangs shut )

alright... why were you attacking Diana Prince?

To get her out of the way.

You're after Alan Akroy, too?

Yes.

Why?

Who are you working for-- Hopewell?

Furst.

Rudolph Furst Enterprises.

Rudolph Furst?

( phone ringing )

Trevor.

DIANA: Steve?

Diana, how are you?

Well, I'm not sure.

Rudolph Furst just tried to take me to the cleaners.

You okay?

Yeah. Those industrials play for keeps.

Hopewell and Furst.

You got it.

Furst is in this up to his corporate wallet.

Yeah. Now there's a pair to draw to.

You'd better get over to Furst Enterprises.

I'm on my way, Steve.

What about, uh... Akroy?

I think he's in over his head.

You got a line on him?

Running.

Any idea where?

So far, just running.

Stay with it.

Bye.

Hey, slow up, will you?

Alan?

( bell ringing )

Yeah. Look, don't stop. Just keep running.

But slow up a little. Now, listen.

I can't let anybody recognize me.

I'm in big trouble here.

What's the matter? Did you just dump somebody else?

Come on, this is serious. I need help bad.

Yeah? Well, why don't you go ask Barbara.

Or Susan... or Sally.

Come on, you're the only one I can trust.

No. You mean, I'm the only one you can sucker.

What do you need this time-- money?

Slow down, will you? I could use 50 bucks.

Oh, Alan!

I have an explanation!

I don't want your explanations.

They all begin with "I have just met this girl."

Listen, you know the Whitaker building

that burned down last night?

I did that. That's right.

You burned down a building?

Yeah. It was an accident.

Well, then turn yourself in.

That building cost ten million bucks!

But if it wasn't your fault, then it's okay.

These insurance companies play for keeps.

They'd like to pin this on somebody.

Those guys catch me and I'm dead.

Alan, this is ridiculous.

Meg!

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Listen, Megs,

all I want is a little money so I can get out of town

till this thing is over.

After buying this disguise all I've got is $3.60.

Come on.

Help me, huh? Please. Please.

It would be worth $50, Alan, just to get you

out of my life once and for all.

Great.

But I can't get it until tomorrow.

Great. Just keep running. Now, listen.

They're probably going to watch you

hopeing that I'll make contact.

Alan!

Get the money, and do this, okay? Go to the airport.

There's an ash can underneath a poster

near the phone booth...

Good morning, IRA.

Good morning.

How are you?

A value judgment.

I am not capable of being anything but accurate.

I am in Washington, D.C. What I am is a computer.

Why I am here is probably the reason you set me in motion.

Sorrow is also something...

alright, alright.

Now, are you familiar with Hopewell Enterprises?

Of course.

And how about Furst International?

Both have business and scientific interests

on a global basis.

What if I added the name Alan Akroy?

Am I undergoing an examination of some sort?

No. You're supposed to be doing a profile on him.

What do you know about Alan?

About the same as I know about John Smith.

Look, IRA, I'm trying to help. Now, he's involved with them.

The only reason I do not function perfectly at all times

is because humans try to help.

Just get me the profile on Alan Akroy.

If you will give me time.

You've got it.

Tick, tock, tick, tock...

You're denying that you hired the men who attacked me?

Can you prove that I did?

One of them admitted you did.

What Wonder Woman drags out of people

with her lasso hardly constitutes proof.

I see.

So three men who used to work for you

just happened to be in the laundry

and just happened to attack me.

Is that what you're saying?

How they spend their time when they're not in my employ

is strictly their business.

Enough of the games, okay?

We both know that we're both after Alan Akroy

who we both thought was going to be

in the laundry.

Alan Akroy?

You and the way you do business

are loathsome, Mr. Furst.

Good day.

FURST: The lady's visit was not a long one.

Were you able to plant the homing device?

Yes, sir.

I'll be on her tail from now on.

I'd advise you to exercise discretion.

The wonders that bail money can work are not infinite in number.

Hey, look, don't worry, alright?

She won't spot us.

Thank you very much.

Hi. Thanks a lot.

No problem. You're heading my way.

Glad to help.

You got an appointment someplace?

Huh? Oh, no, I'm just headed out of town.

Well, I wouldn't worry

about catching your bus anymore... Alan.

Oh, I'm not going to take a bus.

Hey!

Hey, how'd you know my name?

Hopewell International has its ways.

Oh, boy.

Just relax.

Leave the driving to us.

No offense, but no, thank you.

( tires squealing )

( horns honking )

Hey, listen.

No lady private eye is going to get me.

( tires screeching )

( horn honks )

So you're leaving town

but you're not going to take the bus.

TREVOR: IRA just finished his profile

on Alan Akroy, Diana.

And, according to this thing,

Alan will go into hiding in Bakersfield

at the home of a distant cousin.

How does IRA think he'll get there?

By plane-- the very next economy flight out.

Okay, Steve, I'm on my way.

Uh... anything else?

Yeah. IRA says

Alan fell in love with the theater in high school

and never quite got off the stage.

So, uh... watch for disguises.

Terrific.

Over and out.

MEG: Hello?

Meggy? Hi. It's Alan.

Alan, why are you calling me?

I wanted to know if you put it where I told you to.

Yes. It's in a trash can in a paper bag

underneath the mailbox.

Right. You sure nobody saw you put it there?

Oh, I'm sure.

My Kojak disguise worked like a charm.

Alan, the money is there.

Pick it up and leave me alone for good, okay?

Well, listen. There's one more thing.

What?

Would you water my plants?

They're only plants.

There's no reason for them to suffer for our mistakes.

Our mistakes!

Well, you know what I mean.

( gasps ) Oh, my gosh!

Hey, listen, I got to go.

Please, water them twice a week will you?

I'll send you a postcard. Bye-bye.

Sir... uh, sir.

What do you want?

Alan Akroy.

No time. This man's got all my money here.

You're mistaking me for somebody else. I'm Gerald Sternbach.

I know you're Alan.

And you've got a reason to be paranoid. Trust me.

With you holding my jacket I'm supposed to trust you?

I'm sorry. Is that better?

( thunderclap )

( tires squealing, horns honking )

( yelps )

There's no reason to be afraid.

Nobody ever landed before.

I'm here to help you, okay?

What about her?

Thank you, Wonder Woman, but I can take over from here.

Since I've already met your counterparts

at Furst Enterprises

you must be with Hopewell International, miss...?

B.W. Will do.

Step aside.

Oh, boy.

Just stay behind me, you'll be alright.

I don't know about this.

Stay behind me.

Right, okay.

Only, uh... at a distance.

Alan!

Keep her there.

I wouldn't try to fire this thing if I were you.

( whispering ): Hi.

You look like you could use some rest.

Yeah.

You come with me and you won't ever have to run again.

Okay. Fine. Okay, wonderful.

Just take me.

I always hated my cousin in Bakersfield anyway.

Look up, kid. You should be flattered.

This elevator is only used

by clients and guests of Mr. Rudolph Furst.

Who the heck is Rudolph Furst?

I the heck am Rudolph Furst.

Yeah? So what?

Am I supposed to get sweaty palms

just 'cause you bug your elevator?

What am I supposed to do--

crumple up like a wet paper towel

because your name is Rudolph Furst?

Or throw myself at your mercy because your thugs

picked me up and then bring me in?

You think that scares me?

You think I don't know what's going on around here?

Do you know what's going on, Mr. Akroy?

No. What?

There's no need for you to be so emotional, Mr. Akroy.

Just relax.

If you want me to relax why don't you call me Alan?

We all know you're responsible

for burning the Whitaker building

to the ground, Alan.

Oh... you... you're an insurance company.

Hey, that's great. That's fine.

I've been looking...

Listen, I want to tell you everything.

It was an accident. I didn't do it on purpose.

I want to tell you all about it.

If you want, I'll sign a confession.

Alan.

Hmm?

We don't want you to confess to the fire...

we want you to recreate it. It wasn't your fault.

That's right.

It was an explosion.

Yeah. It went boom!

Those chemicals in that lab simply blew up.

That's right. They blew up

because of something you did while you were working.

Yes, that's right.

I was cleaning off the counters

and then I came over to this one...

Go on.

I want to know why I'm here.

Does it make you nervous when I call you Mr. Akroy?

No.

Listen, this is a holiday weekend.

Very shortly, this whole building will be empty

for three whole days with the exception of us.

Because none of us are leaving--

not until you tell me exactly what you did to cause that fire.

Maybe I don't want to.

Well, then, Mr. Akroy,

these next three days may very well be

the last three days of your life.

Meg Kellogg?

Yes.

I'm Diana Prince with the IADC.

I'd like to ask you

a few questions about Alan Akroy.

Fine. Just don't expect any answers.

Do you know where he is?

Nope.

Do you have any idea where he might be?

No.

Look...

Alan might be in a lot of trouble.

I don't care. I really do not care.

He's dumped me five times.

First it was the stewardess, then the nurse,

then the teacher's assistant,

then the cashier in the bookstore,

and, finally, the meter maid. Count them: Five times.

Why should I care what happens to him?

I know he phoned you.

I'm not going to answer any questions.

If he's in trouble,

nothing can make me happier--

unless, possibly, he fell out

of a jumbo jet at 30,000 feet.

Now, listen...

Look, you want to know about Alan?

Why don't you try asking, uh, Susan or Sally or Barbara

or Sherry or Kia or... oh!

Something tells me that this is a bit of repair work

Meg Kellogg did not authorize.

Now, Meg would get off work...

...be unable to start her car.

And you just happened to drop by and offer her a lift.

Yeah, but I wasn't gonna hurt her.

I just wanted to make sure that she stayed put.

I dropped her off at her place... without the car,

right. Now, get in.

And please.... go on.

I just wanted to make it easier

for whoever has Akroy to find her.

You see, if the kid doesn't talk-- and chances are he won't

They'll go after her.

And when they did, I was going to go after them.

Well, now you're not going anywhere.

But you can't just leave me here like this.

Let's look at it this way:

When the police come, you tell them what you were doing there.

and if Hopewell bails you out again, you'll be free.

I hope I don't forget to call them.

Bye.

Come on!

There's got to be a law against this.

Really, Mr. Akroy,

you're making this unreasonably difficult.

An exact replica of the lab

that was in the Whitaker building is set up downstairs.

You need to show us what you did to cause the fire.

Oh, sure. And then what happens after I tell you, huh?

What happens then, huh?

Then you'll be released.

Right. Right off of Catalina

with a custom-made, cement-lined suit. No, thank you.

Ah... ha-ha!

Mr. Akroy, I'd like you to meet Dr. Black.

Don't tell me he's a dentist.

( chuckling )

No, but he will make you tell me

exactly what I wish to know.

No way.

Ooh, oh...

And now, Alan,

I want you to go back

to the night of the fire.

I want you to remember

and tell me everything you did

before the fire started.

But you know what, Barbara, this is really a very nice apartment.

Come on, Alan.

Think back.

It's the night before the fire.

Oh, yeah.

You are walking up to the Whitaker building.

You are collecting your cleaning equipment.

Kia, this corner over here could use a nice plant.

How about a nice Dieffenbachia moena?

You'll like that, hmm?

Make him respond to your questions, doctor.

Listen to me, Alan.

Now, think back.

It's Wednesday.

You've got your bucket and your mop.

Look, Cheryl,

I'm going to take a nap.

It's been a rough day, okay?

Fool.

You put him under.

But the dose was minimal.

Are you telling me this drug won't work on him?

Apparently not.

There must be something abnormal in his metabolism.

Of course it's abnormal.

Why should it be any different than the rest of him?

Ted, take Dr. Dolittle here home,

and then go pick up the girl.

Which one are you?

( door opening )

Uh... hi.

It's me-- Diana Prince.

We talked before, remember?

The gym?

You talked, I refused.

And I still refuse.

Well, this time I came to talk about you, Meg.

I have reason to believe

that you could be in danger.

I can take care of myself.

I always have.

Why would I be in danger anyway?

Because of Alan?

I'm afraid so, yeah.

He's really in trouble?

And because you're someone that's close to him,

you could be, too.

Well, I have news for somebody.

He has thrown me over so many times

that I couldn't care less if he just goes and...

Oh, boy.

Who am I trying to kid?

Here I am in his trailer in the middle of the night

watering his plants

trying to convince you that I hate him.

I'm the one who's in trouble.

It's tough, isn't it?

You have to do all the giving all the time.

I'm so stupid.

I give and I give and I give.

All he does...

Come to you when he needs help.

He comes to you, Meg.

I mean, that... that means something, doesn't it?

I guess so.

No need to panic.

Just relax and enjoy the ride.

DIANA: You know what's really funny?

I have dealt with spies from all over the world.

Only, now, I find out the most ruthless ones

are in the business world.

Live and learn, I always say.

You take her up.

I'll stay with Ms. Disenchanted here.

Cute.

What's going to happen?

You're gonna convince that turkey upstairs

to spill his guts.

I'm not gonna do anything to help you.

All you've to do is stand there

and pray that Alan is easy to convince.

Diana.

It's okay.

Just do as they tell you, okay?

( whispers ): Tell Alan to stall.

You guys grabbed the wrong girl, you know.

I mean, you're going to point that gun to my head

and Alan is going to yawn.

He doesn't care about me.

You might just as well have kidnapped an eggplant.

Come in, Miss Kellogg.

Welcome to Rudolph Furst Enterprises.

Megs, I care about you.

What are you talking about?

You guys bug the elevator around here

or something?

I choose to call it data gathering.

It's amazing what you can learn about what clients say

on their way up to the executive suite.

How could you think I didn't care about you?

What did I do?

Alan...

FURST: That's right, Alan.

You care about her

and that's precisely why she's here.

Boy, you guys don't fool around, do you?

Of all the girls they could have brought up here,

they had to bring up the one that I love.

This is my fault.

I'm sorry, Meg.

Oh, Alan.

It's okay.

I'll tell you everything you want.

Bring me to the lab.

Just do what they say. Come on.

Come along, everyone.

The Explo formula awaits rediscovery.

Put that thing away.

You see an exact replica

of the lab you were in two nights ago,

complete with all of your cleaning implements.

Now all you'll have to do is

simply recreate

the explosion.

Oh, Alan!

Stall. There's someone downstairs that can help us.

Tom.

There'll be plenty of time for sweet nothings later.

Please, Mr. Akroy,

begin cleaning.

Psst!

Hmm?

What time is it? Do you know?

Shortly after 11:00.

Really?

Oh, good.

I can have my little laugh now, seeing how the real Alan Akroy

should have arrived at the IADC

about, oh, five, ten minutes ago.

What?

You heard me.

The Alan Akroy you have is a fake, darling.

You're bluffing.

No. You should've seen the look

on the real Alan's face this morning

when we made the switch at the airport.

He's really a funny guy.

I don't believe you.

Oh, well, it really doesn't matter in the least.

You see, by morning,

the IADC will have the Explo formula,

and what you'll have

is something resembling a strawberry soda.

Now, I say you're lying.

But it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion.

Gently, gently.

Don't forget your coat.

Whoop! Too much.

Sorry. I'll have to start over again.

Mr. Akroy...

Hey, listen... now, look, you said you wanted everything

just the same way it was

in that other lab before it exploded, right?

Well, you're going to have to trust me.

I'm sure that this... this cleaning solution

is crucial, okay?

Please.

You again.

Diana Prince and I aren't exactly thrilled

with you, either.

Allow me to pick a floor.

I am trapped in here.

I'm trapped on the first floor.

Can you get me out of here?

Listen, you guys don't really want me to do this, do you?

If these chemicals are the same as they were in that other lab,

this place is gonna go up like a matchbook.

As you recall, the explosion resulted from a chain reaction.

We'll have plenty of time once the reaction starts

to get that beaker over here to this chamber

where the explosion can be contained.

Please continue, Mr. Akroy.

Right.

Oh. You know what?

This isn't the same kind of squirt bottle. It won't work.

You're stalling, Mr. Akroy.

Everything is identical to the way it was

in the lab that night.

We were watching, remember?

Tom.

No, no, wait, wait. I'll do it exactly.

Promise, I'll do exactly like I did it.

Okay. I always start at the far side of the room

you know, left to right, so I'll remember where I am.

I was spraying the counter

cleaned off the counter, just like that.

Nothing happened.

Came over into here

just started cleaning off the counter.

Here. And then... and I...

( panting )

This is where I... I...

Hey, are you alright?

Yeah, yeah. You? Yeah.

Why... why didn't you call the police

instead of running?

No one wanted to hurt you.

Hey, listen, the last time

I came clean about something

was when I totaled my father's car.

What, and he grounded you for a month?

A year.

Listen, he didn't tell those two guys anything.

Good, because I don't think

they're ready to learn what Alan knows.

In fact, I don't think anyone's ready.

I can make you forget.

No!

Yeah.

No! We must have that secret.

Please.

I can make you forget everything that happened

at the Whitaker building last Wednesday night.

Fantastic.

Hey, listen, this is the greatest thing

that ever happened to me.

Well, I mean, almost the greatest.

He's telling the truth, you know.

You know, Diana,

what I should have had Wonder Woman make him forget

was, uh, Barbara and Susan and Sherry and Kia.

Listen, are you sure you can't stay for dinner?

Alan would be so surprised if you were here.

No, I'm on my way to the airport.

I just checked in

to see if, uh, Alan worked everything out.

Oh, yeah. Everybody was very understanding:

The police, the insurance companies...

except for the people at Hopewell International

and Furst Enterprises.

I don't think they are ever going to forgive Wonder Woman

for doing what she did to Alan.

Well, I think those two companies

carried the spirit of competition

a little bit too far.

They needed to be taught a lesson.

By the way, how are things working out with you and Alan?

Oh, terrific.

You know what he said in that office?

He said that I was the only girl he ever cared about.

I guess it took

all those other girls to make him realize.

Come on right in up here.

I really appreciate you doing this for me.

Hope you got time.

WOMAN: Oh, I got plenty of time.

I'm just a little nervous about all of this.

Megs, what are you doing here?

Cooking your dinner.

It was supposed to be a surprise.

I had no idea, however,

that you were going to be bringing dessert.

Megs!

Or maybe...

maybe I should just call her number six, okay?

Hey, listen.

She answered an ad from the newspaper.

She's going to water my plants while we're gone.

Gone where?

On our honeymoon.

Alan, you've never asked me to marry you.

You never asked me to ask you.

You never asked me to ask you to ask me.

You never asked me to ask you to ask me to ask me.

Or for me to ask you.

MEG: But you never asked me ...

ALAN: You never asked me to ask you to ask me...

You never... why don't you ask?

( kissing )

Oh, Alan.

So I'm asking.

So, okay, I will.

* Wonder Woman!

* Here to fight the force of evil *

* And your chance won't be denied *

* Woman of the hour with your super power *

* We're so glad you're on our side! *

* Wonder Woman!

* You're a wonder, Wonder Woman! *