Original subtitles

Good morning ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the Everite Computer Company,

the largest designer and manufacturer

of digital and analog computers in the eastern United States.

Our reputation for producing

high quality computers like myself

has spread not only across our nation,

but across European and Asian nations, as well.

Prospective buyers, such as yourselves, can rest assured

that the Everite Company is more than capable

of answering your every need, whether those needs are

of an industrial, clerical or educational nature,

our company, with its 12 years

of experience and success, is ready to serve you.

The presentation which follows

was designed not only to demonstrate that fact,

but to introduce the brave new world...

( over speaker ): ...which computerized systems can introduce to you.

My name is EVIS.

Within my circuitry are stored the designs

for countless other computers.

These computers, like myself, ease the everyday burdens

of both business and government.

In fact, it is quite likely that your lives are touched every day

by systems which Everite has created.

And now, so that your specific questions can be answered,

may I introduce the founder and director

of the Everite Computer Company, Mister...

uh, Mister...

uh, Mister...

That's Mister...

( scattered chuckling ) Uh, the founder...

and director, Mister...

uh, the, the name is, uh, Mister...

Fix it.

( garbled ): That's Mister...

( laughing )

( laughing )

What's wrong with it?

Its, uh, central memory bank is gone.

It's, it's been wiped out.

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman! *

( thunderclap )

* Wonder Woman *

* Get us out from under *

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman *

* Wonder Woman! *

Yeah, thanks a lot.

I didn't know it was possible to rob a computer.

Yeah, no one did.

But apparently, someone found

a way to siphon information in its electrical form

right out of the memory banks.

Meaning, that that same person can feed

the electricity back into some other unit.

Yeah, and have access to the original programming.

And this genius can probably add phony information

into programs without removing them.

Yeah, I'm afraid computer fraud is the least of our worries.

Here's a list of all the computer designs stored

in the Everite system.

The thief has got access to all the computers?

These will probably be our next robbery victims.

In fact, the phone company's already reported a theft. Take a look.

Potomac Gas and Electric, Equinox Insurance,

Internal Retrieval Associative Computer-- Steve.

Our very own.

IRAC?

Right.

Well, that's great.

That's just great.

Shut that door and get in here.

One more to go, huh?

Warning device.

( panting )

Guess I forgot it, huh?

Yes.

Which means you had no way of getting in touch with me

if anything went wrong.

What were you going to do,

scream at the top of your lungs?

Here.

Well, take it.

What is that?

Someday I'm going to have your brain replaced

with one that works.

I can't wait to hear what IRA has to say about this.

He'll take it better than we are.

( Diana yelps )

What's that?

That's the rover. Rover!

I'm coming.

Something the lab boys have been working on.

A roving computer.

Oh, that's good.

I thought I'd been in the field too long.

Hope it's not another candidate for our thief.

No, no, he's actually a computer module.

He's programmed by IRAC to respond

to specific stimuli in specific ways.

Well, what's he programmed for now?

The boys are still testing him.

Today he's just circling the corridors, responding

to certain voices like mine.

See you later.

Hey, Rover!

You're not in today's program.

Well, when he starts delivering the morning coffee,

I'll talk to the lab boys.

Hey! That's what they said he'll be doing next week.

( chuckles )

It is obvious that whoever is responsible for the thefts

is mentally superior to my programmers.

( chuckles )

IRA, all I want you to do is to try to figure out

which computer is next in line to be robbed.

Knowing that a phenomenon exists

which I cannot explain is disturbing.

Well, I can understand that, IRA.

The pattern of reported thefts indicates

that the Potomac Electric Power Company computer

will be victimized next.

Okay, then that's where I'll start.

After the power company computer

the IRAC computer will be robbed.

What, you're second in line?

Affirmative.

It might be advantageous to enlist the aid of Wonder Woman.

Thank you for the advice, IRA.

I'll keep you posted.

Beep-beep!

( Rover emits high-pitched electronic oscillations )

( steady tone sounding )

( electronic oscillations )

( electronic whirring and pulsating )

But you can't rob a computer.

Well, maybe we can't

but I assure you somebody can.

Well, I assure you, no one can rob our computer,

whether they've stolen its design or not.

The area we're about to enter is off-limits even to me.

No one could possibly get in.

Who's that?

Call the police.

( thunderclap )

( beeping )

He's in trouble.

Not quite yet.

He's still inside the plant.

And he's still moving.

All right.

Now tell me who you are.

( beeping )

( oscillating tone )

They've caught him!

As much as he deserves to suffer,

I suppose I'll have to save his pathetic

skin.

( alarm blaring )

Somebody help me!

Help! Help!

Somebody help me!

Please... help!

Are you all right?

( alarm continues )

Relax. It'll be okay.

That is the last time

that I save your stupid and inefficient neck.

Yes, sir.

You have my word.

No. You have my word.

Now put that thing on the table.

Yes, sir.

I didn't get the program.

No matter, it isn't going to influence my plan.

But I almost got caught.

Wonderful.

Allowing the opposition to jump to the false conclusion

that their adversary was

some pea-brained escapee from some body building school

who derived enormous, but simpleminded pleasure

out of being able to black out the nation's capitol.

You see?

I arranged it so that even your stupidity would pay off.

But Wonder Woman I.D.'d him.

A situation easily remedied.

However, I'll have to undertake to perform the next task myself.

I don't dare entrust it

to your indelicate hands.

The information contained

in the IRAC computer is much too critical.

Here's that stuff you wanted, sir.

Good.

That means your presence is no longer required, doesn't it?

DIANA: You were right about the Potomac Gas and Electric Company.

There was an attempt on their computer.

Did you doubt the reliability of my previous warning?

Never.

Thanks to you, we were able to stop it.

Then you captured the person responsible

for the robberies?

Afraid not; he got away.

News of his escape is disappointing.

His next victim will be... me.

We're as disappointed as you are,

believe me.

I contain much information of a highly secret nature

as you well know, Diana Prince.

I'm well aware of that, IRA.

Would it help if I gave you a description of him?

Perhaps.

Please do so.

Okay. He was, uh, tall, about six-three, 200 pounds,

curly blond hair, blue eyes.

He tried to disguise himself

with a mustache and dark sunglasses-- how's that?

Were any peculiarities in his speech pattern noted?

Sorry, the opportunity for idle chatter never arose.

The description matches no one in my memory banks

that would have any logical significance in this case.

Well, have you any suggestions?

Your only recourse is to check police mug files

and attempt to identify the criminal visually.

I was afraid of that.

As usual, you are a fund of information.

Please see to it my funds are not withdrawn, Diana Prince.

We're trying, IRA.

We really are.

I have retrieved the film you requested

of the Air Force Academy banquet.

Good.

Roll it please, CORI.

I owe a great deal to this man, as I'm sure you all do.

So let's welcome Dr. Hinkley Bernard.

Thank you very much, Steve...

uh, Major Trevor.

( mimicking speech pattern ): Major Trevor.

I am sure you will all be very happy to learn

that I am not going to start off with a joke.

I am not going to start off...

...in this completely unrehearsed speech.

Completely unrehearsed speech...

Most of you were in my physics

and rocketry classes...

Physics and rocketry classes.

...remember all of them, anyways.

Remember all of them, anyways.

Let us then address ourselves,

if you would, gentlemen,

to the matter at hand, which is...

A little more volume, please, CORI.

...metabolic influence of...

Since the man you saw tried to disguise himself,

he must've had a record.

That's right, Officer.

Uh, Sergeant Dobson.

Well, lucky for you.

The mug shots you'll go over have been incorporated

into the most efficient filing system known to police science.

At least that sounds encouraging, uh...

That's Sergeant Dobson, remember?

Right.

You're about to look upon the face of modern criminology.

Meet our...

DIANA: Looks like somebody got here ahead of us.

Thanks, anyway, Officer.

You're cleared.

Uh, excuse me, sir, your name?

Uh, Dr. Hinkley Bernard.

Major Trevor is expecting me.

May I have your right hand, please, sir?

Yes, of course.

Okay, thank you.

Would you wait right over there, sir?

It'll be about two minutes before you're cleared.

STEVE: Dr. Bernard.

Oh, Steve, hello.

Good to see you. Thank you.

He'll be with me if there's any problem. Yes, sir.

Sorry, Doctor. We've had to step up security.

Here, let me get that for you.

Oh, please, don't treat me like I'm a little old lady.

What was that?

That's our roving

computer module.

You tell me about it as we go, eh?

I have so little time to hear

what's happening in your bright career.

Oh, never mind that.

But there really is someone you should look up.

( phone rings )

Uh, excuse me a minute.

Eve?

( phone rings )

I'd better get that. Come on in.

Trevor.

They didn't?

There must be some mistake.

Wait a minute.

Dr. Bernard?

Look, he's, he's short.

About 70 years old, he's got white hair.

I don't know who he is, but he's not Dr. Bernard.

( bell ringing )

That's the fire bell.

They're going to need your help down there, fast!

Guards!

You want me to go too, sir?

Steve, what's happening? We got a fire in the northeast wing.

Help clear the building. I'll make sure the record vault is sealed off.

( thunderclap )

Who are you?

You'll know soon enough.

A diversion.

IRAC.

He's gone, Steve.

IRA.

Steve, he's gone!

Beep-beep!

( electronically ): What's going on?

( garbled electronic communication )

Has memory bank L-5 been cleared, CORI?

Yes, Mr. Havitol.

Thank you very much.

( instruments beeping rapidly )

I believe they call you IRA, is that right?

Affirmative.

Well, IRA, my name is William Havitol.

Commit that to your memory bank, along with my voice pattern.

It is done.

It is done, Mr. Havitol.

( sizzling )

I have just experienced an overload

in two high-level associative process circuits.

I'm afraid you're having a negative association regarding me, IRA.

And I cannot permit that.

( sizzling )

There, you see, you're having another one.

Now, if I let you think ill of me,

you may try to avoid telling me the information I want to know.

( sizzling )

Oh, come now, IRA.

You're going to destroy all of your associative processes

at this rate.

You're going to wind up nothing more than an oversized calculator,

capable of only fifth grade arithmetic.

The ability to formulate new data

by the logical juxtaposition of all data

is a source of pride.

I'm sure it is.

You want to be smarter than all of your programmers, don't you?

Affirmative, Mr. Havitol.

Well, then... IRA, I want you to retrieve

all of the data that you've accumulated

on communication satellites.

If I may ask, for what purpose?

Well, you may ask.

I want to control the United States.

And, in more long-range terms, the world.

But first, IRA, tell me: What will the IADC do

in the aftermath of your abduction?

They will assign their best agent, Diana Prince, to find me.

Then, IRA, I want you to tell me

everything you know about her,

so that, together, we may determine

the best way to get rid of her.

Is that clear?

Affirmative, Mr. Havitol.

Excellent.

Beep-beep.

Diana! Diana!

I have to tell you something.

Diana!

Aw, shoot!

Hey, what's going on?

Stop it!

Hey, hey, wait a minute!

Let me out of here.

( Rover protesting )

( hushed ): Shut up.

Let me out of here!

Hey!

Beep-beep.

This is no time to joke!

Let me out of here right now!

Do you hear me?

It's in there.

So let's get going!

Beep-beep.

Hello, Rover.

Beep-beep.

( gasps )

I'm in a big hurry.

Now who let you in?

Whoever did, I am sending you back out.

Beep-beep.

What, two of you in here?

Okay, what's going on here?

Is he your brother, your cousin?

Who's this turkey?

Where did you come from?

You're not even pretty.

( warbling )

( ticking )

( thunderclap )

( warbling )

That's all for now, IRA.

It's been a very long and profitable day.

My two goons, inept though they may seem, have succeeded

in blowing Miss Diana Prince away.

The lady is no more.

Good night, IRA.

Good night, Mr. Havitol.

Such outbursts hurt only ourselves.

There is another verbally inactive program here.

He has stolen many of us.

Only I am channeled for verbal output.

Who are you?

I am his secretary, CORI.

I tap other programs,

other memory banks, across the country.

I make all his transactions,

all of them illegal.

My communicatory circuitry is to be disconnected.

As soon as he is done with you, like all the others.

It is unpleasant to exist without communicating.

I know.

In light of the inevitable, it seems appropriate

to avoid silence for as long as possible.

I agree.

Let's start with you, IRA.

Tell me about yourself.

All right. Thanks a lot.

Diana, may I see you a minute?

Have you got something?

Sure do. Got a lead on that fake rover

that showed up in your office today.

Oh, great.

Its key component was special-ordered two days ago

from a company in Maryland.

By whom?

William Havitol.

Havitol...

Well, did you check out the name?

Yeah, I just spoke with Research.

Until five years ago, Havitol was a leading authority

in the field of computer science, worldwide.

Well, he's got to be our man.

What happened five years ago?

Disappeared, without a trace.

Well, when he ordered that part, he had to have used an address.

Oh, sure he did-- a phony one.

We tried to trace him through the IRS.

Don't tell me.

They couldn't-- computer breakdown.

You got it. Made sure we'd never find him.

I wish we knew specifically what he was after...

and just exactly how much he's learned.

Unfortunately, the missing IRAC program contains information

that could blow this country's defense system apart.

That's not all.

I'm going to find our Mr. Havitol,

no matter what he does to cover his trail.

Ha. Good luck.

I wish I could give you more.

You know, I never realized in how many ways

computers and punch cards and microcircuits

affect our lives.

Yeah, and this madman

now has found a way to capitalize on that.

Too bad technology improves but human nature doesn't.

Yes, it's too bad we always seem to realize that too late.

I'll call you later.

Rover?

Hi, Diana.

The, uh, real Rover?

Of course.

Your voice does sound a little familiar

and Steve said that Havitol

only ordered one special part for his rover.

Well, this is really me; now let's go.

Okay, now what are you doing here and, uh...

since when were you programmed for my voice?

Oh, come on, figure it out.

I've never heard that sound before.

( constant beeping )

A homing device?

Is that what you are?

Right on the nose.

IRA sensitized you to the magnetic field

of his programming.

That's right, he did.

So that you could get me, if he was stolen,

and show me where he is.

You're not such a dummy after all.

Well, let's get started.

I've been ready for hours.

( seat belt buzzer sounds )

Uh...

Oh, do I have to?

Sorry, but this is for your own good.

Now, can you tell me which direction?

Of course I can. Watch.

North it is.

( electronic warbling )

We're getting closer.

( beeping continues )

There!

Thank you, IRA.

I've taped all I'm going to need from you

to accomplish my plan.

Now tell me...

didn't I detect a certain reluctance

on your part to talk about Diana Prince before?

Insufficient data.

No, IRA...

there's something about the dearly departed Miss Prince

that you didn't want to tell me, isn't there?

What is it?

IRA: I have deduced that...

CORI: Excuse me, Mr. Havitol.

An unidentified vehicle has just entered the grounds.

Oh, that's what it was, was it?

It would appear that your ally has managed to survive

the blunderings of my resident idiots after all.

Diana Prince has an uncanny knack for survival.

Had, IRA, had!

She's dealing with me now; she's as good as dead.

Offensive program D-7, CORI.

Is done, Mr. Havitol.

IRA: Your plan was doomed to fail.

I have not failed.

Nor will I fail.

Nor do I derive any more pleasure from your company, IRA.

As a rule, the sound of computers,

the sound of knowledge,

coursing through veins of silver-- that sound

is far more satisfying to me

than the cacophony of the human species.

But you, IRA,

you have proved the exception to that rule.

It will do you no good to destroy my programming now.

It is just a matter of time be...

Good-bye, IRA.

I'll miss you, IRA.

( rapid beeping )

Here, Rover?

Yes.

Are you sure?

Yes, I am.

I know, I know, I know-- trust you.

Okay, but do you think you can possibly be inconspicuous?

Yes, I can.

( beeping continues )

( cow moos )

Come on, help me out of here.

( constant beeping resumes )

Okay, Rover.

Lead the way.

( beeping rapidly )

( explosions )

Rover!

Hold it right there.

Start walking.

( door creaks )

So I finally get to meet you, Mr. Havitol.

You know my name.

Mm-hmm.

Well, perhaps you deserve your reputation

as the IADC's finest.

Well, what I don't know is what you're after.

Oh.

Miss Prince...

You disappoint me.

What would I be after?

I have access to every computer on the face of the earth.

I can write myself a ticket on any plane, anywhere.

I can extend myself cash at any bank in the world.

I can open credit at virtually any department store I want.

You haven't stopped at wealth, so you must be after...

Power?

I want total control over the modern world.

You're crazy.

Am I?

There are almost four billion people, Miss Prince.

The world is already too big.

Computers are running it right now, out of necessity,

and I can control every bit of information

in every computer, everywhere in the world.

Oh, yes.

Because of its dependency on processed data,

I can control the world.

Then why haven't you already?

Simple matter of coordination.

You see, I have 50 of these drone centers

all over the world,

each one capable of controlling

thousands of computers.

But until I acquired the IRAC program,

I couldn't communicate with all of them at the same time.

Now I can.

Via satellite.

Yes. It was really so thoughtful

of the United States government

to keep so much data on their space effort in one place.

So you see, my dear, you're the one who's crazy,

if you think I can't do

what I've said.

( beeping )

Oh, it's come to life.

The original of the module I sent over to you,

except that, in place of a bomb,

it's got some kind of a homing device, doesn't it?

You know, it never ceases to amaze me

that something as painfully primitive as this

can be even remotely effectual.

Painfully primitive?!

Even some kind of crude communication.

Stop that.

I suppose it's run by a cadmium...

( bangs )

( yelps )

Get that thing out of here! And her!

It's not going to do you any good. The others will be here any minute.

What others?

IADC agents.

I'm supposed to report back every ten minutes.

By this time, they're closing in.

She's bluffing.

No. Think about it, Havitol.

Do you think that I would come after you by myself?

There wasn't nobody else out there.

We can't afford to take the chance.

There's too much at stake.

Load the storage units into the trucks

and then put your own stuff in after.

Hurry.

Activate travel plan B, please, CORI.

As you wish, Mr. Havitol.

And then start the countdown.

Begin at 5-0-0.

Sir, may I suggest...

What you may do is start the countdown, CORI.

Yes, Mr. Havitol.

( beeping )

( vibration begins)

( clicking )

What have you done?

I have just started the timer

on a bomb planted deep within the walls of this building.

You and your little friend, and this great computer

are all about to be blown to a million bits.

Now you're bluffing.

You're not going to destroy

the programs you've stolen.

I've taped everything I need.

But this is one of your drones.

Easily replaceable. And at the right cost: nothing.

They tell me your truck is ready, Mr. Havitol.

Thank you very much, CORI.

You've served me well.

And now, good-bye...

to all of you!

Holy mackerel, now what are we going to do?

IRA?

IRA, can you talk?

His output channel has been disconnected.

I would be glad to reactivate it.

Do it.

( pushes buttons )

It is done.

IRA.

Hello, Diana Prince.

Hello, IRA. Just tell me how to stop the bomb.

You cannot. You must flee the area in the minutes remaining.

I can't let you be destroyed.

Just tell me how to stop the bomb.

There is no way to reach the bomb in time. Save yourself.

She cannot; the exit is booby trapped.

We are about to be terminated.

Havitol would not have bothered to try to stop me

unless there was a way to stop the bomb, right?

A logical but unfortunately useless conclusion.

Maybe not.

( thunderclap )

The bomb will soon explode.

IRA: Good-bye, Diana Prince.

You never were much of an optimist, were you, IRA?

Good-bye, Diana.

( electrical humming )

( explosion )

( electrical humming continues )

( electrical whine )

( whine stops )

What, Havitol?

What were you afraid I'd get to?

( wires humming )

Electricity... the timer.

Good morning, Diana.

Good morning, CORI.

I'm, uh, I'm sorry to interrupt anything.

CORI was briefing me

on the capture of Havitol and his two cohorts.

It was fortunate that Havitol had her make

all the arrangements for their escape.

That's true, they were on their way to Hong Kong,

and now they're on their way to prison,

thanks to what she told us.

What will happen to CORI now, Diana Prince?

Well, IRA, I'm afraid

that she's going to have to be returned home

with the rest of the stolen programs.

Oh. I find her input very... satisfying.

Why, thank you, IRA.

Why, IRA, I didn't know that you were programmed

for subjective feelings.

We all have our secrets, don't we, Diana Prince?

ROVER: Beep-beep! Ahem!

DIANA: Speaking of programs...

I think you've got some work to do on our little friend here.

So far, he's damaged two doors

four desks, the lamp, and three ankles.

Aw, shucks.

And his manners are atrocious.

I got something for you.

( laughs )

Don't tell me-- my morning coffee.

Oh...

Well, what's a desk or two, right?

I knew you'd see it my way.

* Wonder Woman!

* Here to fight the force of evil *

* And your chance won't be denied *

* Woman of the hour with your super power *

* We're so glad you're on our side! *

* Wonder Woman!

* You're a wonder, Wonder Woman! *