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1
00:00:22,222 --> 00:00:25,089
Yeah, it was pretty good, wasn't it?
2
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:31,619
Well, thank you. I'm always
getting good feedback on that.
3
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:33,556
(CHUCKLES)
4
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,999
Oh! Am I hearing
a little jealousy there?
5
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,500
Uh, next weekend? Hmm.
6
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,836
Well, that depends
on what you have in mind.
7
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,801
Ah! Run that by me again?
8
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:51,341
Wait! Wait! I'm heading into the
valley! I'm losing your signal!
9
00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:56,352
Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.
10
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,516
(CHANGING GEAR)
11
00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,255
Can you hear me now?
12
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:02,985
How about now?
13
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,752
Hello?
14
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:05,991
(METALLIC CRASHING)
15
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,556
What the hell?
16
00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:33,082
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
17
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,353
(GASPS)
18
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,891
First rule of survival, gentlemen,
19
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,858
find food and shelter.
20
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,922
And if you are going to cook
that food and warm that shelter,
21
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,897
fire is your
best friend.
22
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:49,394
You're mine for 48 hours, gentlemen.
23
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,458
If you wanna get
your money's worth,
24
00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,596
I strongly advise you
to get those fires going
25
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,606
and roast your lizards.
26
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,671
Actually, Mr. Gummer, since we
get the concept and everything,
27
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,440
why can't I just
use my lighter?
28
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,502
MAN: Yeah.
29
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:05,847
Because you don't have a
lighter, Mr. Mosley, that's why.
30
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,444
Because
to survive...
31
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,250
You do what you can
with what you've got.
32
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:13,356
It's not as though the
brochure was misleading.
33
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,326
You knew full well what
you were getting into.
34
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,454
Yeah, I'm not that
hungry for lizard anyway.
35
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:21,056
We're scheduled for
finding water at 0900 hours,
36
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,626
basics of self-defense
at 1300 hours,
37
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,228
none of which
we will be getting to
38
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,331
until you ladies
master the simple art
39
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,807
of making a damn fire.
40
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,577
Smoke. Smoke!
I've got smoke here!
41
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:33,634
MAN 1: Hey,
look at that!
42
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,702
MAN 2: Way to go.
43
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,942
(CHUCKLES) I did it! It works!
44
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:39,148
I shall call
it fire!
45
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,243
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
46
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,622
(O VER RADIO) Burt, this
is Jodi. Do you read? Over.
47
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,214
Copy that, Jodi. Over.
48
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,952
Burt, we need you
back in town. Over.
49
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,220
(SIGHS)
50
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:51,255
Jodi, please, I'm in the
middle of my first class. Over.
51
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,663
I know, but we kind of
have a problem. Over.
52
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,031
What kind of a
problem? Over.
53
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:59,030
Looks like El Blanco
got another one. Over.
54
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,065
Damn.
55
00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,605
All right.
Be right there. Out.
56
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:06,302
You're burning it.
57
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,471
(DISAGREES
IN FRENCH)
58
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,742
I'm preparing it
Cajun style.
59
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,114
Good work! That's how you do it.
60
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,750
Pack up, men, we're
heading back to town.
61
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,550
MAN 1: Pack up? Huh? Now?
62
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:21,023
Second rule of survival,
Mosley. Adaptability.
63
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:48,819
Is that him?
64
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,024
Nancy, that guy called. He's gonna
bring out your new kiln today.
65
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:55,459
Oh, great! At least
there's some good news.
66
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,957
So! Tyler.
Gone all weekend?
67
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,624
Yep.
68
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,966
In Bixby? What's there to do
in Bixby for a whole weekend?
69
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,734
I mean, there's bowling
and miniature golf.
70
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,504
I think Tyler found his
own kind of entertainment.
71
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,045
You know, it's not that I mind
spending evenings at your place
72
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,707
listening to Route 66 Revisited, but...
73
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,149
That would be
Highway 61 Revisited,
74
00:05:19,218 --> 00:05:21,413
possibly Bob Dylan's
finest work.
75
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:22,977
(DOOR OPENING)
76
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,453
Nobody buys any food. If you
didn't catch it and cook it,
77
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,652
you don't eat it.
MAN 1: Great.
78
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:30,054
Okay, give me
the sit rep.
79
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,235
(BURT EXHALES)
80
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:41,864
Any identification?
On a foot?
81
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,473
Well, all we know is he's a size
11 double-D and wears a sweat sock.
82
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,779
And he was
hang gliding.
83
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,947
Guess old EB got him
when he touched down.
84
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,007
(RATTLING)
85
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,681
Oh, that would be
my new product line.
86
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,552
I call them
Desert Icicles.
87
00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:58,612
Back off, Mosley.
88
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,216
If it isn't utilitarian we
don't waste our time. Got it?
89
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,921
Right.
Absolutely.
90
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,366
We'll have to give Twitchell a
full report. Where'd it happen?
91
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:09,867
Just past the Graboid Crossing sign.
92
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,961
How old is that foot? Mmm?
93
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:17,536
(STAMMERING) Blood's fresh,
doesn't stink, no maggots.
94
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,599
Tyler, enough.
95
00:06:18,678 --> 00:06:21,340
Well he asked me. Can't be
more than a day, I guess.
96
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,595
There were no tracks?
Coyote? Mountain lion?
97
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,894
Come on, I would've noticed them,
Burt. What's the big mystery?
98
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:44,903
The point is, El Blanco hasn't
been anywhere near there for days.
99
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,602
Well, that doesn't
make any sense.
100
00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,903
If it wasn't El Blanco,
you'd be saying that...
101
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,807
That there's something
else in the valley,
102
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,303
killing people.
103
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,779
Let's not jump
to conclusions here.
104
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,783
Maybe that something else
is just a person. A murderer.
105
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:00,713
Not that that's
a good thing.
106
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,483
Well, whatever
or whoever it was,
107
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:05,581
I'm going to have
to cancel my class.
108
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:06,647
Damn.
109
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,852
Whoa! Burt, not so fast.
110
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,190
Can I have a quick
little word with you?
111
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,096
(WHISPERING) You can't cancel
your class, it's your first one.
112
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,296
(WHISPERING) Jodi,
I've got no choice.
113
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,395
You can't afford it.
114
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:22,373
I keep telling you, you have to
think about economic survival.
115
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,636
That's hardly
the point.
116
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,176
We have to get the
students out of here
117
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,939
until we find out
what's killing people.
118
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,139
So you're gonna
let them drive
119
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,705
30 miles of desert road,
clueless and unarmed?
120
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:32,080
They're safer here.
121
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,448
Doing what? I'm gonna be busy with...
122
00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,783
Right. You gotta
check things out.
123
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:38,380
That's why we'll take over the class.
124
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,120
Come again? Now don't
go to your rigid place.
125
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,958
Nancy, Rosalie and I can handle
things while you guys are gone.
126
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,795
That's ludicrous!
A bunch of girls!
127
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:51,329
Women. Women.
Women. Whatever!
128
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,235
(SIGHS)
Nice save, Burt.
129
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,500
Trust me,
this will work.
130
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:55,871
I know it wasn't part
of the business plan,
131
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,172
but we've gotta do what
we can with what we've got.
132
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:02,772
(SIGHS) Jodi, I've spent
my life perfecting skills
133
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,009
you can't
even imagine.
134
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,278
Yeah? Well,
so have we.
135
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:09,014
Women know a whole lot of things
men can never even dream of.
136
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,686
Oh, it must be the guy
with Nancy's new kiln.
137
00:08:27,373 --> 00:08:29,841
MAN: Hear that?
Hey, what's going on?
138
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:37,979
My new kiln!
139
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,316
Where the hell
is the...
140
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,822
Oh, my God!
141
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:51,824
What?
142
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,661
I know this smell.
143
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,525
Like rotten eggs
marinated in bad beer.
144
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,832
Which tells us?
Launch residue.
145
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,666
No!
That's not possible.
146
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,139
What's
not possible?
147
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,698
Must've landed
in the shotgun seat,
148
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,540
decimated this poor bastard,
then blasted off again.
149
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,240
I know you're saying something,
but what the hell is it?
150
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,078
Even though
it's impossible,
151
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,277
we have an Ass-Blaster on the loose.
152
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:16,651
What, you mean one of
those flying things?
153
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:17,882
Cool!
154
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,554
Not remotely cool.
155
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,491
Everybody inside,
double time!
156
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,395
MAN: Okay. Come on. Let's go.
Hurry up. Get inside. Come on.
157
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,680
Burt, how could it be
an Ass-Blaster?
158
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:48,151
It couldn't be. There haven't
been any Shriekers around here.
159
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,154
They morph into
Ass-Blasters.
160
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:52,656
But you need a Graboid
to morph into Shriekers.
161
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:55,192
Burt, was there another
Graboid out there?
162
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,024
It would have registered on my monitors.
163
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,427
What about El Blanco?
Could he possibly morph?
164
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:00,363
Not him, he's sterile,
he doesn't change.
165
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,501
Gotta put out
the alarm.
166
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,570
Rosalita, Burt here.
Do you copy? Over.
167
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,873
Hey, Burt,
Rosalita here.
168
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,533
How are you doing
teaching those guys? Over.
169
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,202
Change of plans.
Now listen carefully.
170
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:15,509
We apparently have an
Ass-Blaster at large.
171
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,279
No, no way, Burt.
172
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:19,648
To get an Ass-Blaster,
you need a Graboid.
173
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,084
Then you get Shriekers.
Then you get...
174
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,144
I know! I know.
Nevertheless,
175
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:25,087
all evidence points
to this conclusion.
176
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:29,925
I strongly suggest you deploy
your heat camouflage system. Over.
177
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,259
My what? Over.
178
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:36,692
(ENUNCIATING) That silvery
blanket-Iooking thing I gave you
179
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:41,934
to conceal your body heat in the event
of a Shrieker or Ass-Blaster incursion.
180
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,644
Oh, yeah, that. Um, yeah, I
got it. It's right here. Over.
181
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,611
Good girl. Keep it at the
ready at all times. Over.
182
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,277
Um, Robert that,
um, over.
183
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,447
It's "Roger,"
not "Robert."
184
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,654
We only need to wear
them when we are outside.
185
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:05,319
We knew that.
186
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,922
(SNARLING)
187
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:44,827
(BANGING ON DOOR)
188
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,064
(ROARING)
189
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,900
(ROARING)
190
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:03,913
(SQUEALS)
191
00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:40,186
(ROARS)
192
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,149
(BLOWS)
193
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,421
(SNORTING)
194
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,541
(MUFFLED ROAR)
195
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,387
BURT: (ON TV) If you're
trapped on the ground,
196
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,297
silence is
your only protection.
197
00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:24,636
But we're not meant
to be victims.
198
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:26,500
We're meant to be at the
top of the food chain,
199
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,972
using our intelligence
to overcome brute force.
200
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:33,637
Using that intelligence, we can turn
a low-cost, everyday item like this,
201
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,180
into something
any Graboid would...
202
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:38,409
No, Twitch, I'm not
being a smart-ass.
203
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,577
Burt thinks it may be
an Ass-Blaster.
204
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,122
No, there hasn't been
a Graboid, but...
205
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,624
Or Shriekers either!
Damn it, just listen!
206
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:49,326
All I'm saying is make sure
nobody else gets in the valley
207
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,056
till we got this thing
under control!
208
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,624
What a...
209
00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:55,993
Dick?
Putz?
210
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,667
Dick-putz!
Perfect!
211
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:00,632
The next subject
I was gonna cover
212
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:04,142
was how to orient yourself
using a stick as a sundial.
213
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:05,872
Why not use
a compass?
214
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,140
(SIGHS) When you
don't have a...
215
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,478
(CHUCKLES) This
isn't going to work.
216
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:13,040
There are too many concepts
you're simply not equipped to...
217
00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:14,107
(DOOR OPENING)
218
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:20,225
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
219
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,351
English, Rosalita! English!
220
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,452
(SIGHS)
221
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,430
Not necessary. Yo
comprendo loud and clear.
222
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,293
It's an Ass-Blaster.
223
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,062
You are so damn right.
224
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:31,864
And I'm guessing
it paid you a visit.
225
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:35,202
A visit? A visit is when a
friend comes by for tequila shots.
226
00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:36,263
This was more
like... Like...
227
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,139
An Ass-Blaster attack.
228
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,234
(SIGHS)
229
00:14:39,511 --> 00:14:40,603
You said it was
in your shed?
230
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,006
Harlow smokes meat
in there.
231
00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:45,107
I guess it honed in
on the heat, and, uh...
232
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,652
And that's when you
swam away from it?
233
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,181
No, I jumped
in my water tank.
234
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,851
I figured, you know, like,
if I'm underneath the water
235
00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,154
it can't see
my body heat, so...
236
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,252
How long did you have
to hold your breath?
237
00:14:57,329 --> 00:15:00,423
I didn't. I used one of
these. It saved my life.
238
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,504
All right, we've got to go
after this big bird.
239
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,130
Is it more like goose-hunting
or turkey-hunting?
240
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:09,367
(SIGHS)
241
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:13,104
And then I kicked him and
he was out... Gentlemen!
242
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:16,409
The current emergency will temporarily
require the attention of Mr. Gummer,
243
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,848
so we will continue the
curriculum as planned
244
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,045
under the guidance
of Ms. Sanchez,
245
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,020
our Survival School
self-defense instructor.
246
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,521
Jodi? Uh...
247
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:26,380
(SIGHS)
248
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,150
Burt?
Gentlemen,
249
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,421
so let me show you
this one. TYLER: Burt!
250
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,962
We go jump up
and kick.
251
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:33,160
You're not thinking
you're going out alone?
252
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,826
Sorry, this isn't the
same as fighting Shriekers.
253
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:36,890
It's twice
as dangerous.
254
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,300
Yeah, well,
255
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,770
so is driving a Chrysler 360 small block
256
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,865
130 miles an hour around
a dirt track at Big H.
257
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,968
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
258
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,277
But here.
259
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,874
If you don't mind, Burt,
you drive a little cautious.
260
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:07,421
(CHUCKLING)
261
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,305
Stop. Stop here.
262
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:24,741
This is good.
263
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:26,982
High visibility.
264
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,383
We'll get out here.
265
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:30,046
Get out?
266
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:31,487
Of the truck?
267
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:33,991
My engine's the hottest
thing for 20 square miles.
268
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:36,653
The AB is sure to spot it
sooner or later
269
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,994
and you do not want to be
sitting here when it lands there.
270
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,033
No, I don't.
271
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,368
Your blanket.
272
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:57,039
Okay, listen up, men.
273
00:16:57,116 --> 00:17:02,713
Let's say that, uh, this guy
insults your sister really bad.
274
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:05,018
So you key
his pathetic ride.
275
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:08,093
But now he's coming at you
with a butterfly knife, right?
276
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,720
Or, you chew out
the parking valet
277
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,923
for keying your Lexus
and he attacks you.
278
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,465
Right.
279
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,629
Whatever.
280
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,226
So, you always
go for what?
281
00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:21,799
The cojones!
282
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:23,702
(GROANING)
283
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:25,503
See? It always works.
284
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:30,247
Okay! I think that's enough
self-defense training.
285
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:32,078
Um, we are gonna
be moving now
286
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:33,482
to the next phase
of the course,
287
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,042
which would be
Nancy's studio.
288
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:40,919
So you've really had experience
with knife-wielding pervs.
289
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,253
Only it didn't go as good
as I told those guys.
290
00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,692
That's an ugly scar.
291
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,791
In my neighborhood,
I was the lucky one.
292
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,596
At least it motivated me
to get out.
293
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,802
We should get someone
to, you know,
294
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:03,347
make these things into
suits so they fit better.
295
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:06,213
I'm not planning on hunting
Ass-Blasters full time.
296
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,753
Who came up with the name
"Ass-Blaster," anyway?
297
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,389
Jodi. Not my first
choice, I can tell you.
298
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:13,948
It's good! Means they
really kick your ass, right?
299
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,323
(EXHALES)
300
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,884
You have watched
the videos, correct?
301
00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:19,658
Yeah, well, I fast-forwarded
through the slow parts.
302
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:20,891
There are no
slow parts.
303
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,791
No offense, Burt,
but you do tend to run on.
304
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,769
Yeah, well, while
you were fast-forwarding,
305
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,829
I was explaining the
most unique features
306
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,168
about this
particular animal.
307
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,835
I know. The biggest
flying creature on Earth.
308
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:33,673
No, they don't fly,
they glide.
309
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,578
Like Rocky the
Flying Squirrel.
310
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,515
Excuse me?
Rocky the Flying...
311
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:41,443
Forget it.
312
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:44,188
Unique part is
how they launch themselves,
313
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,656
by internally mixing
volatile chemicals
314
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:47,885
which literally explode.
315
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,791
And the flaming
gases are...
316
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:55,765
(STAMMERING) Well, expelled
through an orifice in the, um,
317
00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,998
posterior.
318
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:01,561
Wait a second.
319
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,440
You're telling me these
guys launch themselves
320
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,205
by lighting
a big one?
321
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:10,937
So to speak.
322
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,745
(WHOOSHING)
Whoa!
323
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,379
Is that it?
324
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,647
Affirmative.
325
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:19,147
It sounded
like an F-16.
326
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,281
Two o'clock.
327
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:23,722
Your other two o'clock!
328
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:25,194
Got it.
I got it.
329
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,574
(SNARLING)
330
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:47,808
The gun's loaded,
right, Burt?
331
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,251
Oh, yeah.
332
00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:52,881
(WRIST-SEISMO BUZZING)
333
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,516
(WHISPERS) Burt,
no noise, quiet.
334
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,954
Not now, damn worm.
335
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,789
(RUMBLING)
336
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:07,635
(SQUAWKS)
337
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,744
All clear.
Damned worm is gone.
338
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,572
Did you see that?
339
00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:21,081
That flame was 10 feet long,
man! Right out of his ass!
340
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,183
God, look at him go!
341
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:27,691
Had it square
in the crosshairs.
342
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:28,987
Sorry, Burt.
343
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,519
Graboidus
interruptus, huh?
344
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,296
Ooh.
345
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:44,399
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
346
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,068
Now it's personal.
347
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,373
What did I
tell you?
348
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,418
Uh, hide our
body heat.
349
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,817
So do it.
And?
350
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,047
Keep watching
the skies?
351
00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:00,091
Yes! That's where
the monster is, right?
352
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,025
You guys, this is survival
stuff. Tactics! Tactics!
353
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,360
I work with clay
and paint, Jodi,
354
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,920
and live in a house
with indoor plumbing.
355
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:09,331
What do I know about
survival? Well, nothing.
356
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:12,700
I mean, technically, but you're
very creative, so go with that.
357
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:13,931
Yo! Guys!
358
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,732
Is this the part where we learn
about auto-Ioading pistols?
359
00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:18,002
Not in my house
it's not.
360
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:21,102
That's because we are
working on basic survival.
361
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,113
Working with
basic tools, like
362
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,808
rope!
363
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,854
Exactly. One of the most
basic survival tools.
364
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:32,981
There is nothing as
utilitarian as a length of rope.
365
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:38,824
MOSLEY: Yeah, you can't have too
much rope. I can't wait for this.
366
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,480
JODl: Excuse me!
367
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:01,709
We sort of have a dangerous
situation going on.
368
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:03,846
You really need
to get inside.
369
00:22:08,627 --> 00:22:10,595
We've come
for Messerschmitt.
370
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,926
Is he enrolled in
the survival school?
371
00:22:13,565 --> 00:22:16,625
(DISTANT SQUAWKING)
372
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:20,027
Okay, incoming at
373
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,338
10 o'clock.
374
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:24,397
(WHOOSHING)
375
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,075
(THUDDING)
376
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:28,611
(SNARLING)
377
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,978
Finally got you where I want
you, you heat-seeking bastard.
378
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:39,150
(O VER RADIO) Burt, Jodi here,
do you copy? Over.
379
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,158
Burt, do not kill
the Ass-Blaster.
380
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:43,956
Repeat. Do not kill
the Ass-Blaster.
381
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:47,556
It's from Las Vegas. It
belongs to Sigmund and Ray.
382
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,866
(BURT EXHALES)
383
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,767
Sigmund and Ray?
384
00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:55,205
The magicians?
385
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:57,340
Mmm-hmm.
386
00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:25,131
BURT: What's all this?
(HISSING) Guys!
387
00:23:36,515 --> 00:23:40,212
MEAD: This is the latest... BURT:
Do you mind giving me a sit rep?
388
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:42,617
I had it right
in the crosshairs.
389
00:23:42,687 --> 00:23:44,052
What the hell
is going on?
390
00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:45,384
The animal's
private property.
391
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:47,688
It's the one I sold
to Sigmund and Ray.
392
00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,092
When the Ass-Blasters first
showed up, Nancy caught one alive.
393
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,928
Nancy? JODl: Yeah, with
her daughter, Mindy.
394
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,432
Then they struck
a killer deal for it,
395
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,525
and now it's putting
Mindy through college.
396
00:23:58,637 --> 00:24:00,002
Burt Gummer.
397
00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:03,173
You don't look as tall
as you did on Larry King.
398
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,743
60 Minutes.
Who are you?
399
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:07,438
Name's Mead.
400
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:11,312
I was hired by Sigmund and Ray to
retrieve their property unharmed.
401
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,317
Are you kidding? It's
already killed two people.
402
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,313
Yeah, so I hear.
403
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,651
Maybe they should've kept
a little closer watch on it.
404
00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:18,916
Look, he didn't escape.
405
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,651
It was stolen by a couple
of fools who thought
406
00:24:20,725 --> 00:24:23,285
they were gonna get millions of
dollars for it in the Far East.
407
00:24:23,361 --> 00:24:25,852
But he really did
a number on them.
408
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,255
That's how
Messerschmitt escaped.
409
00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:30,358
Messerschmitt?
They named it?
410
00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:33,768
They'll call it Kamikaze when I get
through with it. It's threatening our lives!
411
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:35,204
We're completely
within our rights to...
412
00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:38,640
Now, you listen up, Gummer! That
Ass-Blaster is the only one of its kind.
413
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:39,802
It's kept in
one of the finest
414
00:24:39,878 --> 00:24:42,142
endangered species
habitats in existence.
415
00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,774
Experts come from all
over the world to study it.
416
00:24:45,283 --> 00:24:47,478
Are you really gonna
go out and shoot it?
417
00:24:56,895 --> 00:25:00,422
Uh, what are you guys staring
at? Is this hammock ready?
418
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,831
Well, does it
look ready? Does it?
419
00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:10,701
(BEEPING)
420
00:25:15,413 --> 00:25:16,641
Is that the
Ass-Blaster?
421
00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:20,674
Yep. Right now he's about
7.36 miles southeast.
422
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,986
You ever try catching
an AB before, Mead?
423
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,447
No.
424
00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:30,258
But I think I've
got the edge.
425
00:25:30,328 --> 00:25:32,956
Just bring him in close,
put him to sleep.
426
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:34,896
Very impressive.
Very high-tech.
427
00:25:34,966 --> 00:25:38,299
But I can take him unharmed
without darting him.
428
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:39,894
It's my game,
Gummer.
429
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:49,104
You know, it would be better if we
didn't have to dart old Messerschmitt.
430
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:52,579
You know, if we give him too much
and he hurts himself when he drops...
431
00:25:56,421 --> 00:25:57,786
Hey, Gummer!
432
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,523
You serious?
24l7.
433
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:04,658
All right,
tell you what,
434
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:06,993
why don't you give it
your low-tech best,
435
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:08,760
show me
what you can do.
436
00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:10,056
You're on.
437
00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:19,134
ROSALITA: Looking
good, guys.
438
00:26:26,818 --> 00:26:28,445
MAN: Well,
I don't know how to...
439
00:26:29,788 --> 00:26:31,688
Hey, you okay?
440
00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:33,849
Wonder who it was.
441
00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:35,993
Who?
442
00:26:36,695 --> 00:26:38,128
The foot.
443
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,994
It was a person,
a human being.
444
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:45,762
It had a family,
friends.
445
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,632
Yeah, well,
446
00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:54,338
I think they're doing tests,
you know? DNA or whatever.
447
00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:56,209
They'll find out.
These people will know.
448
00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,174
(SIGHS)
449
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:00,547
It wasn't your fault.
450
00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:02,583
No?
451
00:27:04,222 --> 00:27:06,122
What about
that poor guy in the jeep?
452
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:11,289
Uh, excuse me, miss?
No offense,
453
00:27:11,363 --> 00:27:14,696
but I don't see how learning
macrame is gonna help us survive.
454
00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:17,564
I agree. I'd feel a whole
lot more useful helping Burt
455
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:20,366
than I would
making a hammock.
456
00:27:20,438 --> 00:27:22,565
Oh, you would,
would you?
457
00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:24,368
Well, then clearly
you have missed
458
00:27:24,442 --> 00:27:26,171
how important
a hammock can be.
459
00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:28,269
They're not just for
afternoon naps, you know.
460
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:31,179
What if you needed something
to carry supplies in?
461
00:27:31,249 --> 00:27:33,376
Or something
to fence in?
462
00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:35,578
(VOICE RISING) Or what if you
needed to carry the wounded?
463
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:38,282
Someone who was maybe
attacked and mangled
464
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,154
and lost half his body
and couldn't walk?
465
00:27:41,226 --> 00:27:43,854
Then you would need a
hammock, wouldn't you?
466
00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,527
Burt?
467
00:27:52,637 --> 00:27:54,935
Could you wait up?
I need to talk to you.
468
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,268
Sure, sure.
469
00:27:58,877 --> 00:28:03,905
You know, you and I, we've
been through it all together.
470
00:28:04,749 --> 00:28:05,977
Yeah.
471
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,747
And even though
we butt heads,
472
00:28:08,820 --> 00:28:10,685
I consider you
a real friend.
473
00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:12,518
Well, same here.
474
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:16,124
I want to apologize.
475
00:28:16,995 --> 00:28:18,019
For what?
476
00:28:18,096 --> 00:28:19,085
(SCOFFS)
477
00:28:19,931 --> 00:28:22,525
For this! This
is all my fault!
478
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,033
I mean, you said
it was dangerous.
479
00:28:24,102 --> 00:28:27,629
You said that we should kill
that thing when I caught it,
480
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,867
not sell the
damn thing!
481
00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:32,977
If I just hadn't
been so greedy...
482
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,033
Mindy, it's okay...
483
00:28:34,112 --> 00:28:36,672
No, it's not
okay, Burt!
484
00:28:36,748 --> 00:28:38,716
Two people have died!
485
00:28:38,783 --> 00:28:40,182
But you couldn't
have known.
486
00:28:40,251 --> 00:28:42,378
Well, I should've
known, Burt.
487
00:28:42,454 --> 00:28:43,978
(SOBBING)
488
00:28:45,857 --> 00:28:47,188
Hey, uh...
489
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,124
Um, look,
you listen to me.
490
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:55,328
Nancy, this isn't
your fault.
491
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,125
I don't blame you.
Nobody blames you.
492
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,865
I blame those jerks who tried to
steal the AB in the first place.
493
00:29:05,977 --> 00:29:08,468
You're just trying to pay
your daughter's tuition.
494
00:29:09,013 --> 00:29:10,844
Trying to be
a good mother.
495
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:15,519
You hear me?
496
00:29:17,522 --> 00:29:19,080
Yeah.
Thanks.
497
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,255
(CHUCKLES)
498
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,379
You got a problem?
499
00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:49,818
Who, me?
No, not at all.
500
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,995
Low-tech?
Looks like no-tech.
501
00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:06,468
MEAD: (CHUCKLING) We'll
keep my tranq gun handy.
502
00:30:06,538 --> 00:30:08,506
And you're late for the
Star Trek convention.
503
00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:10,768
Suggest you gentlemen take cover.
504
00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:13,470
The AB will be attracted
to the hot food on the stove
505
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,410
and you don't wanna be in its way.
506
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,041
Oh, we get the idea, but what
exactly are you using for bait?
507
00:30:19,350 --> 00:30:21,580
MREs. "Meals,
Ready to Eat."
508
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,416
Burt keeps them around
for emergencies.
509
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,956
1,200 calories
per bar.
510
00:30:26,024 --> 00:30:27,252
When an Ass-Blaster
eats enough food,
511
00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:29,520
it lapses into
a kind of coma.
512
00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:32,361
Exactly the way Nancy
caught this one originally.
513
00:30:32,864 --> 00:30:36,095
And once he pigs out, your only job's
gonna be loading him into his cage.
514
00:30:36,167 --> 00:30:38,135
(BEEPING)
515
00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:46,333
Incoming object.
Altitude 120,
516
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:50,040
speed 45 miles per hour,
bearing 272.
517
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,671
Bogey, 10 o'clock!
518
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:10,091
(SNARLS)
519
00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:12,758
(GRUNTS)
520
00:31:13,972 --> 00:31:15,667
(SNORTING)
521
00:31:15,740 --> 00:31:19,335
Stuff your face,
you gassy blow-bag.
522
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:23,271
(RETCHING)
523
00:31:24,115 --> 00:31:25,810
(GRUNTING)
524
00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:27,577
(SNORTS)
525
00:31:28,186 --> 00:31:29,881
TYLER: Jeez,
what's wrong?
526
00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:31,216
I don't know.
527
00:31:31,289 --> 00:31:32,916
He's getting ready to take
off. He's gonna get away.
528
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:34,516
The hell he is.
529
00:31:35,159 --> 00:31:37,024
(SNARLING)
530
00:31:38,196 --> 00:31:40,255
(SQUEALS)
531
00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:54,376
I don't know
what went wrong.
532
00:31:54,712 --> 00:31:55,804
Normally they
eat anything.
533
00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:59,211
Thing is, Messerschmitt has lost
his taste for that kind of crap.
534
00:31:59,284 --> 00:32:01,445
In Vegas, his meals are
prepared by a French chef.
535
00:32:01,519 --> 00:32:04,579
So, boys, your only job is
to load him into his cage.
536
00:32:08,459 --> 00:32:09,653
(GRUMBLING) All right,
let's go.
537
00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:17,162
On three.
One, two, three.
538
00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:18,429
(SNARLS)
539
00:32:18,703 --> 00:32:19,727
(BURT EXCLAIMS)
540
00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:20,828
TYLER:
Watch out, Burt!
541
00:32:20,905 --> 00:32:22,372
(ASS-BLASTER SNARLING)
542
00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:27,935
(ROARING)
543
00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:29,778
(EXCLAIMING)
544
00:32:30,014 --> 00:32:31,276
(SNARLING)
545
00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:32,941
(SCREAMING)
546
00:32:45,530 --> 00:32:48,192
MEAD: Shoot him! Shoot him!
Kill this bastard!
547
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:51,233
Come on, come on!
Get him off me!
548
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,434
(SNARLING)
That's right. Come on.
549
00:32:55,740 --> 00:32:56,968
(TYLER GRUNTING)
550
00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:11,921
Just wanna thank you.
551
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:16,392
Not a problem. Just
overloaded his heat sensor.
552
00:33:19,897 --> 00:33:22,058
I can't believe these didn't do the job.
553
00:33:22,133 --> 00:33:24,294
I had enough juice in
here to knock out Rodan.
554
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:26,894
I don't think it's about potency,
I think it's about burn-off.
555
00:33:26,971 --> 00:33:27,960
What?
556
00:33:28,639 --> 00:33:30,072
The shot hit him
in the hindquarters.
557
00:33:30,141 --> 00:33:34,237
The body temperature there is,
well, obviously astronomical.
558
00:33:34,312 --> 00:33:35,973
The ass blast alone
is like a V-2 rocket.
559
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,674
Excuse me?
A V-2. World War II?
560
00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:43,075
Forget it. My guess is the
heat nullified your drug.
561
00:33:43,955 --> 00:33:47,322
All you did was pin the tail
on one pissed-off donkey.
562
00:33:48,659 --> 00:33:50,820
Jodi, it seems we're
gonna need more rope.
563
00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:54,194
Nancy's got us doing macrame.
We're getting quite good.
564
00:33:54,265 --> 00:33:57,393
Don't backseat drive, Burt.
We're handling it.
565
00:33:58,403 --> 00:34:00,166
So how are we gonna
catch this thing, now?
566
00:34:00,238 --> 00:34:01,671
If you can't dart him
and he won't eat...
567
00:34:01,739 --> 00:34:03,707
No, he just
won't eat MREs.
568
00:34:04,475 --> 00:34:06,340
Who in his
right mind would?
569
00:34:06,411 --> 00:34:10,677
Man! That smells
good! What is it?
570
00:34:10,748 --> 00:34:14,343
A tender filet of beef
in a mild b๏ฟฝarnaise sauce.
571
00:34:14,419 --> 00:34:17,411
It's a recipe from Sigmund
and Ray's personal chef.
572
00:34:17,488 --> 00:34:19,046
He has his own website.
573
00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:21,683
Five-star bait for a
pampered Ass-Blaster.
574
00:34:21,759 --> 00:34:26,526
Exactly. And, I printed out
a bunch of other recipes,
575
00:34:26,597 --> 00:34:28,360
just so that we've
got plenty of food.
576
00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:30,424
Chateaubriand,
braised pork chops,
577
00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:32,059
rack of lamb
on spicy curry...
578
00:34:32,136 --> 00:34:34,263
Ooh! Trust me,
the lamb is great!
579
00:34:35,039 --> 00:34:37,530
Nancy, good thinking.
Above and beyond.
580
00:34:37,608 --> 00:34:40,133
Well, I just felt like
I had to do something.
581
00:34:40,845 --> 00:34:44,975
Well let's see what kind of
gourmet old rocket-ass really is.
582
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:48,507
(NANCY EXHALES)
583
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,391
Any sign
of him?
584
00:34:56,461 --> 00:34:57,792
Not yet.
585
00:34:58,396 --> 00:35:00,887
You'd think with all the
heat we've got going...
586
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:02,430
(GROWLING)
587
00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:06,265
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
588
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:07,861
There.
589
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,470
He's just sitting there.
He has to see all this heat.
590
00:35:11,542 --> 00:35:13,407
Maybe he's tired
of red meat.
591
00:35:13,744 --> 00:35:15,609
Should've gone
with the Chicken Kiev.
592
00:35:19,717 --> 00:35:21,878
(DISTANT SNARLING)
593
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,955
Burt! What the hell are
you doing? Get in here!
594
00:35:32,763 --> 00:35:34,958
Just testing.
595
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:42,666
The problem
isn't the menu,
596
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,971
the problem is
he's gotten wise to us.
597
00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:49,208
Each time he's gone for food
on the ground, what's happened?
598
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,510
Well, the MREs
tasted like MREs,
599
00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:53,550
and then he got
shot with a dart.
600
00:35:53,618 --> 00:35:56,849
I don't think he'll go for
anything at ground level anymore.
601
00:35:58,723 --> 00:36:00,190
Now I know this isn't
what you wanna hear,
602
00:36:00,258 --> 00:36:02,226
especially
coming from me,
603
00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,853
but if we can't get that
thing to take our bait,
604
00:36:05,730 --> 00:36:07,561
we may just
have to kill it.
605
00:36:10,701 --> 00:36:12,464
Wait a second.
606
00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:15,335
If our guest won't come
down to the dining room,
607
00:36:15,406 --> 00:36:17,237
how about we send up room service?
608
00:36:17,642 --> 00:36:19,439
Once again
without the metaphors?
609
00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:22,404
Okay. We're
going sky fishing.
610
00:36:27,251 --> 00:36:29,446
TYLER: That's about four
feet now. Coming to you.
611
00:36:29,854 --> 00:36:30,843
Keep it coming.
612
00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:34,987
A little further. Here we
go. Right here. All right.
613
00:36:36,627 --> 00:36:37,958
(SIZZLING)
614
00:36:40,998 --> 00:36:42,693
NANCY: Okay, get ready for another one.
615
00:36:55,413 --> 00:36:59,008
Here you go, guys. Ready
to go. Fresh from the oven.
616
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:00,209
Wow.
617
00:37:00,818 --> 00:37:02,445
I haven't eaten
like this in...
618
00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:03,747
Well, never!
619
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:05,613
Why does fart-bird
always get the good stuff?
620
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:10,389
Sit rep! Glider repair?
621
00:37:10,461 --> 00:37:11,450
Clear to fly.
622
00:37:11,529 --> 00:37:13,224
Aerial bait?
TYLER: You're baited!
623
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:15,498
Ground bait?
Ready to go.
624
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:18,601
Back-up plan?
Locked and loaded.
625
00:37:19,804 --> 00:37:21,032
Let's move!
626
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:41,914
(SNORTS)
627
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,293
BURT: And we
have lift-off!
628
00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:57,169
Approaching target!
629
00:37:58,542 --> 00:38:01,636
He spotted it!
Steady!
630
00:38:05,216 --> 00:38:06,706
(SNARLING)
631
00:38:08,886 --> 00:38:10,751
He's coming in!
632
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:13,988
(SNORTS)
633
00:38:14,058 --> 00:38:15,184
(GROWLING)
634
00:38:18,329 --> 00:38:19,318
MEAD: It worked,
Gummer!
635
00:38:19,397 --> 00:38:21,126
Yeah! Get it!
Go, go, go Burt!
636
00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:23,057
(SQUEALING)
637
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,461
He took it.
It worked!
638
00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:25,627
Get more
food ready.
639
00:38:26,237 --> 00:38:27,727
(WHOOPS) Yes!
640
00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:29,705
Slow down! Slow down!
Give him some slack!
641
00:38:29,774 --> 00:38:30,763
You got it.
642
00:38:31,142 --> 00:38:34,475
Come on, come on. Bring him
in. Just a little closer.
643
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:45,020
BURT: Whoa! I'll reel him
in the rest of the way.
644
00:38:49,427 --> 00:38:51,019
(SNARLS)
645
00:38:51,095 --> 00:38:52,824
He's actually cutting
through the cable!
646
00:38:52,897 --> 00:38:54,626
(ROARING)
647
00:38:54,699 --> 00:38:55,825
Come on, Burt.
648
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,168
If he gets away we'll never
be able to trick him again!
649
00:38:58,235 --> 00:38:59,497
Just keep cranking!
650
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:01,003
(SNORTING)
651
00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:05,037
He snaps that line,
he's going nowhere.
652
00:39:08,879 --> 00:39:10,904
Guys!
Guys, think!
653
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:13,983
MAN 1: Come on. MAN
2: Let's get the net!
654
00:39:14,051 --> 00:39:15,075
MAN 3: Let's go!
655
00:39:15,152 --> 00:39:17,086
(SNARLING)
656
00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:23,050
Got it?
BURT: Yeah.
657
00:39:23,728 --> 00:39:26,526
(ALL YELLING)
658
00:39:30,634 --> 00:39:31,692
We did it!
659
00:39:32,169 --> 00:39:33,158
MAN: We got him!
660
00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:43,836
MAN: That rope worked!
661
00:39:48,819 --> 00:39:49,945
ROSSER: We did it!
662
00:39:50,020 --> 00:39:51,544
MAN: All right.
663
00:39:57,461 --> 00:40:00,726
Well, we really
owe you guys.
664
00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:03,562
Damn right. Next time we're in
Vegas, we want front row seats.
665
00:40:03,634 --> 00:40:04,726
You got it.
666
00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:06,064
It's actually one
hell of a show.
667
00:40:06,137 --> 00:40:08,697
That's what we've heard.
You guys drive safe.
668
00:40:08,773 --> 00:40:10,297
Okay.
Take care.
669
00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:13,369
(SIGHS) Oh, well,
this is gonna be painful.
670
00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:16,210
What is? I'm gonna have
to refund their money.
671
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,078
All they learned was
gourmet cooking and macrame.
672
00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:21,778
Mr. Gummer, we just wanna tell
you what a great time we had.
673
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:23,743
You, uh...
You did?
674
00:40:23,821 --> 00:40:27,086
Absolutely. We're even gonna
recommend you to our associates.
675
00:40:27,158 --> 00:40:28,750
Oh, and just
a suggestion,
676
00:40:28,826 --> 00:40:31,317
you really should keep
the French cooking.
677
00:40:31,395 --> 00:40:33,659
I could even get my
wife out here for that.
678
00:40:33,964 --> 00:40:35,556
Thanks again.
679
00:40:41,038 --> 00:40:44,769
Well there you go, Burt.
You're the Martha Stewart of
680
00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:46,840
whatever it is you do!
681
00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:50,742
That was a compliment.
682
00:40:50,848 --> 00:40:52,873
No, really.
Think about it.
50895
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