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Uncle Fazli is the most powerful dervish in the world.

lf it's iron, we can turn it into gold.

And if it's a cucumber, we can turn into a living being.

He promised us we would travel to America without a visa.

Matter is just like a suit of clothing.

Basically, a man's body is just a suit of clothes.

And the body is matter.

Look, you have things on you.

Do you stop existing when you take them off?

You keep existing.

So, it is necessary to turn your body into tiny little atoms,

and you disappear in the blink of an eye.

And then, in the blink of an eye, l materialize you in America

or anywhere you wish.

Dematerialize and materialize.

l appeal to the whole world, to all the media, and BBC and CNN

to come, if they want to film ghosts -

call me on my personal home phone number:

6-5-1-8-2-5. ln Shutka.

We call these houses Beverly Hills,

because here lives the richest merchant in Shutka - Uncle Sami.

Good morning, Uncle Sami.

The poorest man in Shutka is Muzo.

His only possession is a photograph of his best friend.

He carries it with him everywhere in a bag.

The longest street in Shutka is called ''New Life''.

lt's here that Uncle Bajram makes the best ''burek'' in Shutka.

This print shop is only camouflage.

Feruz owns the largest secret porno video collection in Shutka.

The champion toll collector in Shutka is Race.

For you trivia buffs:

Shutka is the largest Roma community in the Balkans,

maybe the whole world.

We have all religions in Shutka.

lsmail is an Adventist.

Everybody is angry at him for grazing his horse

in the graveyard - where the juiciest grass grows.

And this is me, Doctor Koljo, in person and in the flesh.

l'm known as a joker, but with an honest heart.

l am the greatest fisherman in Shutka,

which for me is like a sea of stories.

This is my story of Shutka.

l'm nothing to God. l'm an ordinary man like you.

l'm even a tiny little object under your foot.

l feel so insignificant.

Because God doesn't cooperate with someone who feels like a hotshot.

God doesn't like people like that.

The greatest intellectual in Shutka is Uncle Muzo.

He's been writing a Roma dictionary for 20 years,

while his family goes hungry.

So, Uncle Muzo, how much longer do we have to wait?

lt's still not finished. What do you think?

A dictionary is not made in a day.

l still need to wise up for a few more years.

You can't give a language to a people

until it's cleaned up and fixed.

Get a grip!

-Do you know what faith is? -Tell us.

You have to believe in Jesus - He'll give you eternal life.

Me? Believe in Jesus? And you in Mohammed?!

l have all the words here, but l'm not giving them away yet.

First, you start with the Book of God.

ln every nation, you start first with the Book of God.

The language must be sanctified.

And then you can have a dictionary.

While Uncle Muzo is looking for words,

the believers meet down at the square,

where, everyday, they come to defend their faith.

A beautiful book came out - Jesus, the true Messiah.

l apologize, dear brothers of Shutka.

This is chaos! lt's a tie! There is no winner here!

Shutka wakes in fear of Satan and his servants,

the evil genies.

Not only in Shutka, but in all of Macedonia no one has better horses.

Horses mean everything to me.

Even if l had a hundred Mercedes, l would still have ten horses.

At least ten!

Uncle Sali must first beat the evil genies from the horses,

before he takes them to the market.

Beware of Satan and the genies.

A genie can enter any animal.

When they're attacked by a great priest like me,

they enter an animal and hide in its body.

Tell me, tell me what l want to hear!

lt's difficult to buy, and it's difficult to sell.

Uncle Sali's heart aches,

because he's the greatest horse lover in Shutka.

Get out of here you bastard dealer!

l attack him, he attacks me.

What's up cousin, your fire doesn't light?

He doesn't let me work!

The dervishes claim that they are the best genie-busters in Shutka.

Clean water is the best protection, they say.

The genies live in the physical and spirit world.

They rule in dirty houses and unclean places.

ln the dump.

A genie looks like this:

His head is like a pig's head.

His eyes are big and red,

like molten fire.

So, when you see him, you get goose bumps.

He can be as big as a mountain,

but his legs are really, really thin.

He has three toes and long nails.

When they attack a person, they are like a shadow.

Genies are Satan's army,

with the power to enter people's blood.

Water is clean and genies are made of fire.

Only water can put out a fire -

so, when you want to clean and heal yourself,

use water.

This is my life's work.

l want to leave behind good pupils and faithful believers,

who will help all the people in the world

against the genies.

Jashar, at over two meters, is the tallest Dervish in Shutka.

When you treat female patients

do you ever get aroused?

Look, we healers, we have a special prayer.

An invisible spiritual force descends. An angel.

lt blows on us

and takes the passion away.

Then, l become like a female.

And a woman with a woman... obviously, nothing happens.

That's my boy.

The police cause us less problems than vampires.

A vampire doesn't look like what you know from TV.

He is not like Dracula.

He moves like this.

Female vampires have hair like this.

Males have beards growing like this.

Some have a moustache like this. lt looks pretty ugly.

To see a vampire - that's terrible!

Uncle Suljo is the greatest vampire hunter in Shutka.

Uncle Suljo, are you scared when you see a vampire?

At the beginning l am scared.

l get nervous and pale. l shake all over.

There was a shadow here, and when l turned around - nothing.

What's going on?

Really strong!

Like this... and l look, no one's there.

l didn't see anyone.

When she told me, at first l didn't believe her.

A lot of people get scared when they hear some banging.

They imagine all sorts.

A vampire is a spiritual being.

But l can see him as a physical being.

l see him the same as l see you.

Uncle Suljo doesn't take money to fight vampires.

He sells satellite dishes in the center of Shutka.

He's afraid of losing contact with the souls from the other world.

l freaked out.

Look, l'm shaking.

When l saw it, l was done for.

A shadow, a ghost! He fought him.

He was completely red.

l say, what's up with him?! l say, water?

And then her relative came, who had a cigarette.

When he came close,

the vampire that was strangling me, started to run.

A vampire is afraid of fire and runs from it.

So a cigarette always saves my life.

And they say that smoking is bad for you.

That's all l have to say.

There is one God for everyone.

You never know what can help you. lf not the mosque, then the church.

We call Didara The Terminator.

People come from all over Macedonia to visit her secretly,

to get their genies exorcized.

No, not on the Koran. Drop it on the floor.

One against the genies, the other against people.

lf someone wants to harm me, l can protect myself.

Didara holds the strongest opinions in Shutka.

Especially when it comes to the topic of religion.

You can't come into church with a lamb!

Did you hear? Get out of here with it!

lt's been promised.

What are you doing?!

You can't do whatever you please here! Get out!

-Uncle, be a bit more cultured. -Cultured? With you? No way!

Calm down you drunk! Go screw yourself!

Asshole.

All of Shutka believes, offering a lamb to the church

is the best protection against sickness.

You have the best lambs!

ln the world, in the whole of Europe!

Uncle Refet travels the longest distance to get a lamb.

The best lambs are born and bred here. Champion lambs!

They're assholes, faggots!

l've been a lamb champion for 35 years.

-They refuse to take our lambs! -l paid a fortune for a lamb!

This year, all the churches forbade us to offer lambs.

Supposedly, it's a pagan custom.

Film this! This church will be filmed!

Every time Didara has a fight on holy ground

a genie enters her, and she falls ill.

The greatest specialist for more complicated cases

is Granny Ajsha from Vietnam Street.

Do you see? The church is visible there.

ln the number of cured cases this year, no one can catch my cousin.

Like every great dervish,

Jashar is preparing for his afterlife.

This is my own invention.

You take this out, so this can slide in.

This has to be loose.

You take this out.

We Muslims believe

our souls wait to be reborn in the branches of a tree.

Which tree, no one knows.

Not to be born again in Shutka,

Jashar is racing to cut them all down.

l need more speed.

Uncle Muzo's songs are Shutka's greatest treasure.

-Do you like it? -lt's nice.

Since birth, my cry has been melodious.

lt's like that with us Roma. When a child is born,

it cries in melody. You immediately hear the major keys.

A Roma singer can't be a singer until he has sung in Shutka.

Shutka is like a jury, which says:

Yes, this singer can go on,

or the singing stops right here and he doesn't go anywhere.

This is Shutka.

Ramko is the greatest of all singing stars in Shutka.

He dared to tear into pieces the lyrics

that Uncle Muzo got directly from God.

You may sin against Uncle Muzo, but never against God.

He should be ashamed not to recognize this treasure from God.

Such an effort from God. How could he do it?

These are the new songs!

He will fall from heaven, like a bullet. Like a giant stone!

l apologize if l made a mistake. lt can happen.

l apologize to Muzo.

Ramko fell to the bottom of the charts.

Only after promising to accept all lyrics from God,

did Uncle Muzo find inspiration.

Thank you, God. Oh, that's wonderful.

Don't be a stranger.

Be careful what you do.

Don't do anything stupid!

You have to feel the music in your soul.

Then the music is real, and we feel it.

That's why l say the music comes from the Roma here.

Here is the source. We feel the music with our souls.

ln Shutka, you must find rhythm from childhood.

When he was a child, a genie entered Rasim.

That's why he can't stop drumming.

Though he gets on our nerves sometimes,

Rasim is the undisputed rhythmic champion of Shutka.

All of Shutka runs from Ali's music.

Though Ali claims his videos are the best.

lt is my policy to have a new suit for each recording.

Here's one l was photographed in. l will show it to you.

Not every singer can wear such suits. Only me, Ali Bajram.

Jacket, trousers, and a vest come with it.

None of my colleagues can make better music videos.

My videos are superb.

ln every minute, every second there are countless effects.

''Money, Oh Money!''

Luckily for Ali, there are many Balkan war refugees in Shutka.

Hence, Ali has found his captive audience.

As the world adores Michael Jackson, so the refugees adore me.

ls this our future? A cardboard house?

And where is the European Union to help us?

To save these children, if not us!

No one sees us!

My brother has epilepsy!

We're fed up with life behind barbed wires!

We want basic human things! Peace and freedom.

They respect me so much

and are so happy that l, Ali Bajram, am here to be their guard.

When l sing, they calm down and smile.

''The complaining stops, when you are here,'' they say.

Bertini is the most powerful music producer in Shutka.

He works exclusively with analogue equipment and claims

that the background hum adds soul to gypsy music.

Listen, l'm missing soul here. lt is the word we use most often.

We don't need so much equipment.

Now they even have computers that fix the singer's mistakes.

lf we use that, then we're not Gypsies.

The whole world says that we are a musical people.

Are we supposed to use technology to be able to sing or play something?

That's us.

-What happened? -l don't know.

Although Bertini claims that there should be some ''hum'' on a Roma recording,

sometimes the music disappears and only the hum is left.

-What's the problem? -There's no fuel left.

Shouldn't you switch to digital technology, brother?

This stuff is from the time of King Marko.

ln Shutka tapes are sold mainly on the black market.

The most dangerous pirate in Shutka is Muzo the Cobbler.

Legally, he repairs shoes.

lllegally, he sells recordings of all the singers in Shutka.

Muzo himself wanted to become a singing star,

but he couldn't conquer the competition.

lt's normal. Pirates exist everywhere. We have them here as well.

They are people we meet daily.

We say hello daily.

Everybody's got to make a living.

That's why l'm not angry at them.

l respect them and they respect me.

When we sit together, l ask them: Why do you do it?

l need to sell more copies of my recordings.

l'm losing a lot of money, but that's how it is.

lt's why the musicians of Shutka can make money

only at weddings and circumcisions.

The most money this year was made by Feruz with his saxophone.

Elvis is the youngest butcher in Shutka.

His mother named him after the champion of Rock-n-Roll,

Elvis Presley.

At this year's celebrations

Elvis slaughtered 36 bulls.

Bravo, butcher man!

Here in Shutka we hold an annual competition in cassettes -

to determine who has the most, the best, and the oldest Turkish songs and singers.

27 years ago he saw my first collection.

His late father saw it, too.

l told you, l don't decide. The professional jury will decide.

l have 2,614 cassettes.

No one in Shutka can top me.

l state this morally and materially. Only l, Jashar!

The lovers of Turkish music are divided into two camps.

The first camp, fronted by Uncle Jashar, drinks only juice

and is totally focused on the lyrics and the clarity of sound.

The other camp is fronted by Uncle Fejm.

They claim they have to drink a bit of alcohol

in order to connect emotionally with Turkish music.

They like to get wasted, and then they fall into a coma.

After five hours they don't know anymore what the song is about.

To get drunk and fall into a coma -

to me, these are not sportsmen!

l have 25 suitcases of cassettes with Turkish music,

plus 105 albums.

l've been doing this since l was eight.

Only l can be the champion!

He can't even tell you the names of the albums.

He doesn't speak Turkish.

Uncle Jashar and Uncle Fejm are the favorites in this year's event.

Who has a longer career, Jashar or l?

Uncle Shumar at the top of his game!

He inherited a passion for this sport from his father.

He trained intensively this year, as it is his last season.

Here comes Hadzhi!

He barely made it through the qualifying round.

We invite the jury, which is made up of music connoisseurs.

Three form the jury and two are observers.

These are people with university degrees,

with education, with good grades!

Shumar - number 5.

Jashar - number 4.

Fejm - number 1 . Begin!

Winning this trophy in Shutka means more

than winning the World Cup in soccer.

Uncle Jashar has won the most trophies,

and everyone wants to take him down.

l am a perfectionist. This cassette is 30 years old,

and it doesn't have a single stain, not one.

Every year l put 100 cassettes into my private bathtub,

and l wash and dry them.

And if an insect gets inside,

l destroy it with disinfectant.

The contestants try to turn up the volume as high as possible

to demonstrate the clarity of the recording.

What happened, Uncle Jashar?

The speakers are shot. Both of them.

-Both of them? -They're shot.

The contestants score points,

when their choice of music compels the audience to dance.

Ten points for Uncle Shumar!

Highest points are awarded if you can make the audience weep.

Then they call you an ace.

A dove may be a symbol of peace,

but in Shutka, pigeons cause fierce arguments.

Jerry claims that anyone can make a child,

but not a champion pigeon.

As long as l breathe, l must be the winner every year. The champion!

About the rules of this contest, l have not the slightest idea.

Uncle Shukri holds the greatest number of canary awards.

His recipe for enriched birdfeed is a strictly guarded secret.

But he has only one canary left.

Though he has the best training, the canary refuses to sing.

Every day Shukri listens to the recordings of his old champions

and reminisces on bygone victories.

SHUTEL TV broadcasts music videos like commercials.

Though not for the singers.

ln these videos, my fellow citizens advertise themselves.

Just like Uncle Veso, known as Alfonso.

At the young age of 75 he fathered a son.

To greet all of Shutka he chose Ramko's latest hit.

The secret of my youth

is cooking oil.

When l sleep with a woman, l fill this with cooking oil

and place it beside my bed.

And then l rub it in... l rub it on the thing l have.

l spread it on my wife as well and then...

l last two whole hours in one place.

Two hours. And we do it every night.

When l saw this film Kassandra,

l fell in love with her beautiful, colorful eyes.

And l said: from now on your name is Kassandra.

South American soap opera ''Kassandra'' has left a deep impact

on the cultural life of Shutka.

Look at her beautiful eyes! You Kassandra, me Alfonso.

For someone to be like Alfonso

he must have a fancy place.

We have always had the best sex - right here.

What did l say? l didn't say anything.

Uncle Alfonso and Kassandra are the greatest lovers of Shutka.

Uncle Alfonso, didn't you say Kassandra was a refugee?

She was there for seven years.

-Where? -ln Belgium.

She brought back a lot of money.

She gave money to her brother, her mother, to everyone.

All l know is she washed dishes to earn a little money.

What are you afraid of?

Tell me the truth.

l will tell you what she did in Belgium.

When some guy needed to go to bed with her,

she gave him six minutes for 100 marks. Never less than 100.

She was the most expensive girl in Belgium.

But when she came to me

she forgot everything, and she said:

You are the strongest and most beautiful.

l've never met a better guy than you.

She doesn't even let me talk to other women.

But a seed of suspicion awoke inside Uncle Alfonso,

and he went to check if he is the child's real father.

ln the end, he decided not to wait for the results.

lt's my little one! lt can't be someone else's.

lf he were, l would kill her, myself, and the child.

No, not the child. l would let it live.

But we would kill ourselves.

l am sure the child is mine. He's running after me,

he strangles me, sometimes he hits me.

l can see in his face that he is my child.

When l die, l will leave him the house and the gold.

To my wife Kassandra and to little Alfonso,

so he can be a rich man, as l have been.

Look at the wealth l have here.

Plenty of old things.

l buy for five and sell for ten.

That's why young women are after me.

Look how young l am. l have a big heart. l'm like iron.

The market in Shutka is our main artery of life.

Here, Uncle Alfonso sells the worn out trousers

he buys from those who live abroad.

Evil tongues in Shutka say,

Kassandra only waits for Alfonso to die,

so she can get her hands on his fortune.

She wants my money!

l'll call the police, you whore!

l will call the police on you!

Get lost, you bitch!

You Belgian whore!

Alfonso, you are the champion!

With oil, it slips inside. Without, it doesn't.

l am old Alfonso!

When l was eight, my neighbor grabbed me.

He tied my hands, he tied my legs,

and he stuffed a rag into my mouth.

He took advantage of me, and l became a homosexual.

l can live with a guy, iron for him, wash for him,

bathe him, bake him a cake,

do the housework. Everything.

l feel like a real woman.

Fazli is the only man alive who is not afraid of genies.

l see him everyday walking through the dump.

So, Fazli, you claim to be a champion?

Correct.

And do you know what in?

ln dressing,

in sex,

in culture,

for the young and old, in all of Europe.

Fazli returned from Germany after failing to get a residence permit.

ln Shutka, he found a job with a humanitarian aid organization.

When l was in Germany, l was there as a refugee.

Why do l love refugees so much?

l love refugees!

There l had my greatest love, a boy named Olaf.

We lived together like a real husband and wife.

l tell you, l will never forget Olaf as long as l live.

lt was something wonderful.

He came home from work and kissed me.

He brought me coffee on a tray.

With him l felt like a true lady,

you know, popular.

l work at this humanitarian Homos...

which is called... Homos. That's how it is.

l'll say it like this: Here is humanitarian help

which... is called Homos. That's better.

-Humanitarian? -Yeah? Let's do it.

Right now we are at the humanitarian Homos,

which is called like...

Homos.

Homos is the name. Homos hands out packages.

And here at the moment is my wardrobe.

Tiger.

When l'm wearing black.

Fishnet, sexual stockings.

Olaf paid 37,000 marks

for my operation,

to turn me into a woman. ln Germany.

Bikini, for when l go to the pool.

l'm sending a message to my unforgettable Olaf in Germany.

l greet him with all my heart and soul,

with all my tiny little blood cells.

May God give him great happiness and whatever his soul desires.

Olaf, when you see this,

you will know that l love you.

lf l had wings like a bird, l would fly to him.

The only thing l want is to see him.

Hello, l'm Natalie.

l came to see my sister.

-Hello Sabrina, how are you? -Hi. Fine.

-What's the good word? -Super.

Your place is tiny, but cozy.

-What can you do? -Yeah, what can you do.

Natalie, a little music, if you please.

Tonight, my soul is aching. Tonight my heart is breaking.

The most painful day in the life of a young Roma in Shutka,

is the day of circumcision.

The more lavish the celebration, the better.

To put two children through school costs �10,000.

But in Shutka, they'd rather spend �20,000 for one circumcision.

lt's the tradition that homosexuals prepare the bed for circumcisions.

And why is it a tradition? No one knows.

l know only that the work suits them.

Which of you makes the most beautiful bed?

We both make a beautiful bed.

-But who is the champion? -The champion am l.

Once the bed is ready, the boys begin to realize what awaits them.

We diplomatically explain to them

that we cut off what in life is superfluous.

Most of us here live on welfare.

But for weddings and circumcisions everyone finds the money.

The greatest champion is, whoever spends the most.

The greatest boxing hope in Shutka is Pipsqueak.

But he's a bit of a difficult case.

You can't come to training like a cowboy.

l'm sorry, coach.

After winning ten matches, fame got in the way,

and Pipsqueak became a drug addict.

Jadigar, his persistent coach, gives him a second chance

to return to the ring and be a champion again.

You have to stop smoking that morphine.

Stop the drugs, train more.

Pipsqueak, the most important thing for you is sport.

We'll get him into the ring at any cost.

l was a good boxer.

l had heart. l was a hero in the ring.

l was swinging hooks like this. Russian style.

l knocked out all my opponents,

and the crowd always loved me.

Jadigar once wore the crown of victory.

He was three times boxing champion of old Yugoslavia.

l love combat.

When l see my gander fighting, it's like l am fighting.

l go pale, and my heart goes like this...

He roars like a lion in a cage.

He looks for geese to fight.

lf he had a sword, he would slice up his opponent.

Frankly, l don't love myself as much as l love geese.

lt's my favorite sport.

-He's afraid of me. -l'm afraid because he's injured.

You were afraid to bring your gander.

-You knew you would lose. -That's not true.

l beat him two days ago.

lf he thinks he's the champion, l'll fetch my gander.

So let him fetch his Tyson!

Not everyone can train a gander. Jadigar can't do these things.

l am the best coach in Shutka

and l have the most beautiful gander, Sugar.

Maybe Jadigar has been breeding ganders longer than me,

but he doesn't have my qualities.

No one can touch me.

l'm number one, and l'll stay number one!

lt's the same with geese as with sportsmen.

lf you run just a little bit, it's not training.

But if you do like this...

Not you - You, come here!

To strengthen the legs...

lf a soccer player doesn't have strong legs,

everything is in vain.

The only rule in goose fighting: there are no rules.

The looser ends up in the oven.

For 20 years Norton remained unbeaten.

He was an invincible champion.

Those were tough fights.

He made a hole this big in the other gander's backside.

Each time!

We'll call in a specialist to put him to sleep.

And then we'll stuff him with cotton or hay,

so he won't stink.

And we'll display him on a shelf.

Out of love for victory,

we name the ganders after the greatest fighters.

Norton, Tyson, Bruce Lee, Van Damme

and other champions.

Boxers and ganders are, for me, the same thing.

l recognize boxers, when they have heart.

lf he can take a beating, he can be a boxer.

To put together a team,

Jadigar often has to cure his boxers from drug addiction.

We say, you have a lion's heart.

The same as a lion! The same. lf a boxer doesn't have a heart,

you can't expect anything from him. Nor from a goose.

Until he's cured, he shouldn't train or fight.

OK, if you say so. You decide.

l'm sorry it turned out this way.

l'm a professional trainer, and l come here all the time.

l'm losing my reputation here today because of you.

Either cure yourself, or don't be a boxer.

This is your last chance.

Luckily, the sports doctor is drunk and misses the fact

that Pipsqueak is on methadone and incapable of competing.

His moment has come.

Shit! Don't let him near you!

Give me the glove.

Pipsqueak never returned to the ring.

While trying to rob a pharmacy, he fell from the roof and died.

This is my first wife.

When she died, l made a grave for her and for me.

When l found Kassandra, l made a grave for her as well.

l reserved a place for her.

Do you want me to prepare a grave for you?

She said - No thank you, not yet.

When this wife gets on my nerves, l'll turn toward Kassandra.

l'll go to the other side.

One is here, the other there, and l turn toward Kassandra.

This is reserved.

No one can separate us.

l want to cut down this tree so it doesn't get in my way.

Six months ago that tree was still small.

Look how it has grown. lt's from the dead.

Death, for a normal man, is the only certainty in life.

But we in Shutka, don't recognize this.

l clean graves.

l clean the ltalian's grave. He was a big boss.

For Macedonia, he was first league. He had five or six BMW's.

He was rich.

l sit here, so no one can vandalize his grave.

l'm here every day from morning till 3 PM.

Zedo, are you stealing here?

Me? No.

Don't lie to me.

Well, when you don't have, you can steal.

You have to take what you don't have.

Take and sell.

l steal from the graves.

l break crosses and l take them home.

l don't have wood, so l burn the crosses of the dead.

l take what's left behind.

l fill three bags.

l take it for the deceased.

There's plenty of food and drink here,

it's like a candy store.

There was a funeral yesterday,

and they left ten denars for the dead.

l took it and bought myself chocolate.

l am the champion of all graveyards in Macedonia.

Although Zedo has spent his whole life in the graveyard,

he claims he has never seen a living vampire.

Uncle Suljo, can you show me how to see a vampire?

First, you have to wear your clothes inside out.

OK, let's say l have them inside out. And then?

You have to look through my arm.

-Where's the vampire now? -There by the tree.

My father lived to be 103.

And l will live to be 104.

Disco!

l am the champion in dressing.

l'm the disco champion. l'm the promenade champion.

l'm a champion in every way. The champion of the champions!

The young adore me.

l don't speak with old people.

l greet like this, not like this.

Having a good time, that's disco!

l spin around.

l have the heart of a lion. Strong, like this guy.

Wherever there is music in Shutka, you'll find Uncle Refet.

You'd think he is on drugs.

Of course he couldn't miss the Turkish music championship.

Uncle Refet justly claims he is the only man in Shutka with French culture.

That's why they don't let him near young girls.

All the girls love me.

l am in all ways the greatest champion of Shutka.

Everyone knows l am the champion.

Refet, everyone says you are a swindler.

A swindler! No-no-no. l beg your pardon.

All the girls know me and they kiss me.

None of them has kissed a man before.

They kiss only me.

Whenever l show up, they have to kiss me.

l have these from Paris. They're all from Paris.

When l go to a caf� and drink a cappuccino,

for me, that's something most, most beautiful.

lt mustn't foam over. Understand?

Cultured, refined - Not everyone knows how to do it.

You have to eat it in the proper order.

lt's my ornament, like a mirror.

When l get shaved and dressed up,

my shoes are clean and shiny like a mirror -

when everyone sees me like that in a caf�, this is bliss.

lt's been with me since l lived abroad, in Paris.

This has stayed in my heart.

You understand? ln my heart.

l have the most clothes, the biggest wardrobe.

l change most often.

Everybody in Shutka knows me and my suits.

We've been friends since we were kids, but tell me -

is this original Versace?

Are you kidding? You know it's original Versace.

Who wears Versace?

What do you mean, who? All of Shutka wears Versace.

-This is Versace? -Yes, sir.

ls this original Versace?

-That is original. -Original?

Original ltalian.

We also have Nike here.

People, this is unbelievable.

You took it off!

This label is forged. You glued it on.

-This is cheap. -No!

Everyone knows my suits are the most expensive.

My feeling is that no one has more suits than me.

l am the champion for all our people in Shutka.

l challenge any man who thinks he has more to step forward.

l dress in many suits of different colors.

l have shoes, good hats and over 100 ties.

l disagree. l simply disagree.

So, which one is the champion?

Slow, slow. We'll talk it over.

Uncle Refet and Uncle Alfonso will never agree.

They are the greatest rivals in Shutka.

But, Uncle Alfonso has an ace up his sleeve.

This is the suit of the former president of Yugoslavia.

l want to wear it and be like Josip Broz Tito!

ln Tito's uniform, Uncle Alfonso is the general of Shutka.

What are you doing there?!

-Don't be mad at me. -We'll talk about it when we're alone!

Uncle Zekir, who is the greatest sportsman in Shutka?

To be honest, l am.

l want to be the first. Always the first!

You can't be the first with that plucked goose!

The highlight of the sporting season in Shutka

is the announcement of the Turkish music champion.

The jury has an enormous responsibility.

First place: Jashar, with 266 points.

Let's play our tapes again! Just him and me!

Come play again!

ln all sports in Shutka there is a single rule:

lt's not important to participate. lt's important to win.

That's why the arguing never stops.

The champion grows wings and flies.

He soars over Shutka with no equal.

We all dream of dematerializing from Shutka one day

and flying far to the west,

where a huge fortune awaits.

And for everyone else to feel envy.

But he who leaves Shutka

loses his right to the title of champion.

And that is a serious reason to stay at home.

Only in Shutka can you be a champion.

Uncle Fazli the Dervish once told me,

we Roma don't need our own state,

we have the whole planet.

That's all l have to say.

Wait a minute!

Let's ask the kids:

Who's the greatest champion in Shutka?

KOLJO!!

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