All language subtitles for The.L.Word.Generation.Q.S02E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Previously on The I
Word: Generation Q...

Sophie Suarez,
will you marry me?

Yes. Yes. Yes.
Why are you hanging out

at a sports bar?
I bought it.

And I'm gonna make
it a gay bar again.

Can I trust you
to run this place?

You fucked my girlfriend,

and you want to know
if you can trust me?

I hope I can make
it up to you one day.

You jeopardized the campaign.

I'm painfully
aware of that fact.

Angie called me.

Is there a part of you

that still wants
her? You can tell me.

I want you and her.

So, you're
a throuple now?

She's, like,
a super cold hot lady.

You know
who else is hot?

- Bette Porter.
- You can't deny

that she's special.

- I want you to talk to me.
- I don't have anything to say!

Carrie asked me to marry her,

- and I said yes.
- Congratulations.

Have you
told that sweet boy

that you love him yet?
'Cause he loves you, too.

You should've
been there for her today.

- She really needed you.
- She knows

I'm fucking tapped
out right now.

I-I'm giving her all I've got.

Are you sad about
her getting married?

Yeah. A part of me

always hoped that you two

would get back together.

Please, don't go.

You have a really
wonderful daughter,

and I love spending
time with her.

Jeff Milner
will be the next mayor.

- What are those?
- Divorce papers.

You're
incapable of loving

anyone but your fucking self.

- You tried

to make it work with my ex-wife

because you thought it
would make me happy.

- I love you.
- Just me?

Just you.

- You must be a new fan.
- Yeah. I'm Micah.

- I'm José's husband.
- I'm afraid

when things get hard,
she's gonna leave you

because, uh, that's
what she knows.

Dad, we love each other.

- And we're good together.

- Are you gonna tell Dani?
- No.

- It's never gonna happen again.
- Let's get married.

You've always wanted
to go to Hawaii.

We can go tomorrow.

I'm going home. To Missouri.

My flight's tonight.

You're my person.

You're, like, the
best part of my day.

I love the shit out of you.

I love you, too, man.

I just want
to be your wife.

But I'll always be here for you.

Upbeat pop music

Welcome you to board

our nonstop flight
to Kansas City.

Final boarding call for
flight 1256 to Honolulu.

And I love you.

I love you so much.

Help me, I don't
know how to begin.

Never thought that
I would let you in.

But you're the one I choose.

I belong with you.

So if you love me, let me know.

We don't have to fall so fast.

Take it slow.

Unless you want
to hold me close.

We can make a good thing last.

Don't let go.

You know perfect is impossible.

But you got me hoping.

If the world is burning down.

You're the one I'm holding.

Don't let go.

There you are.

Hi.

- Oh, my God. Wow.

You look so beautiful.

Um, so do you. You look amazing.

Come on.

Well, first
of all, I know I speak

for everyone in this room when
I say that we are so happy

you didn't get
married in Hawaii.

- Because

we would hate to have
missed this magic moment.

The more I know Sophie,

- the more impressed I am...

by her generosity,
her integrity.

You all know how
much I love mi hija.

The most important thing
to me is Dani's happiness.

And I have to say...

I've never seen her
happier than she is today.

Sophie

- welcome into our family.

- Brindemos.
- Yay!

To my daughter, Dani,

and my new daughter, Sophie.

May you find joy and happiness
in one another forever.

- Salud.
- Salud.

Cheers, baby.

I could be fucking
anything I want.

Yes, I'm driven, I
use what I'm given.

And I'm feeling just
a little obsessed.

I need to have.

- A talk with myself.

I never listen when
you say I can't.

Oh, what, I got a good gut.

Maybe you and I
should have a talk.

- Or not talk, never talk.
- Not talk.

Never - 'Cause I'm high.

This it?

And I'm not coming down soon.

Hit the fast lane,
smoke on the freeway...

Hello.

What's up?

- How are you?
- I'm good.

Eddie.

Aw, shit.

Shane, right?

- Eddie.
- Mm-hmm.

- How you doing?
- I'm good.

We call you Wannabe
Eddie around here.

Oh, yeah? All
right, I'll take it.

- Yo, is Cujo hypoallergenic?
- Oh, yeah.

- He's good. He's good.
- All right, he better be.

If I start sneezing, both of
y'all can get the fuck out.

- Come on.
- Come on, Mack.

Man, I been waiting a
long time to meet you.

- Is that so?
- Yeah.

I been hearing a lot about
you. People keep saying

we're the white and Black
versions of each other.

Oh, okay. So it's like
looking in a mirror.

Yeah, we'll see.

- Since Tess

works for both of us, I figured
it'd be a good opportunity

to finally meet your ass.

- All right. Yeah.
- Grab a seat.

Well, I hope I don't
disappoint. Thank you.

- Yeah, we'll see.
- How you doing?

How you doing? How
you doing? What's up?

- It's ten racks.
- Yeah, yeah.

We definitely gon' count it.

Well, I'll be
insulted if you don't.

Uh-huh.

Do me a favor and, uh,

- just behave yourself.
- I'll try.

A'ight, we good.

Okay.

Everyone knows why we're here.

It's no-limit Texas Hold'em.

- How you doing?
- I'm good. How are you?

Good, thank you.

What's your name?

- Chloe.
- Chloe.

- Chloe, huh?
- Chloe.

Chloe, Chloe. Hi, I'm Shane.

- Nice to meet you, Shane.
- Nice to meet you.

You let me know if you
need anything else.

- All right, I will.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

Upbeat rock music.

- Okay, bye, guys!

- Love you!
- Bye!

Sorry about the waffles.

Have a good day at school!

What is this person doing?

What are you doing? Move up.

- Move up, you motherfucker!

Well, I'm glad you
think I'm funny.

Huh? N... Oh, no, no.
I was just rereading

the draft I sent
to the publisher.

Oh, okay, yes. Laughing
at your own joke.

- Yes. That makes more sense.
- Do we still like the title.

"Lube, Boobs and
Tubes" for the chapter

- on my ovarian cyst? Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

- For sure. For sure.
- Okay.

And then when you're
a best-selling author,

you can have your own lube line.

- Wow.

- I think we're...
- Let's go!

Kind of getting
ahead of ourselves

with the lube, but yeah.

Why isn't this line moving?

'Cause that would
just be too easy.

Fucking hetero soccer mom. Go!

You know what would be fun?

What?

A real quickie.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- In the back?
- Get back there.

- But the kids.
- Who cares?

Go, go, go.

- Morning.

- Hey, Gigi. Hi.

Wow. Happy to see

you're still super
into public sex.

Wait, is she kidding?
Have you always liked...?

What do you want?

To get back together.

- Oh.
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

- I'm joking.

Wow.

I'm dropping off
Eli's class cupcakes.

Do you want me to
bring yours in, too?

Oh, fuck me.

- You forgot.
- Yeah.

- I did.
- Okay.

- Oh. I...
- Well, I'll just...

I'll have his teacher
cut these in half.

You know what? I have gum.

- Oh, nice.
- I have almonds.

- I...
- Uh, I'm good. Thank you.

I will let you guys...

Just trying to help.

Get back to your car sex.

You know

there's plenty of
room back here.

It can easily fit

three.

- Okay.
- Wow.

- Not funny.
- Yeah.

- Okay, well...
- Have a good day.

Have a good day.

- She took two pieces. Two!
- She winked at me.

- She's a real menace.
- What are we gonna do about her?

Put a chip in her ear so
we know when she's close?

No, she needs a project. You
know, something to focus on.

Or someone.

- Yes.
- She needs a girlfriend.

Yes.

Someone else's problem.

- Yes! Okay, see?
- Oh, my God.

This is why I love you. Because
you have the best ideas.

- I do. Thank you.
- You really do.

- Of course I'm aware

of what a huge platform it is

and what a life-changing
opportunity it could be.

I'm just still
weighing my options.

- Hello.
- Where's Carrie?

- She's coming.
- Okay.

She's just parking.

Well, as
I... as I said,

I haven't made my
final decision yet.

Well, there are other things
that we would need to discuss.

This afternoon?

Uh, yes, I think I could
come in this afternoon.

You know, wh-why don't
I send you a-a text

with some possible times.

All right. Yeah. And you
can just get back to me.

All right, terrific.
Till then. Bye-bye.

- I'm so sorry about that.
- Please,

- don't apologize.

- Oh, Bette.
- Hi, honey.

- Carrie, hi.
- I'm so sorry.

I nicked your mailbox on
the way up the driveway.

Honey, it's not that bad.

Listen, if you got some paint,

I could touch it up
for you, no problem.

- Oh, no. That's okay.
- I'm so sorry.

- See? It's fine.
- I really am.

Man, that hill is a bitch.

- Yeah.

It can be. You didn't
need to bring anything.

- I made a frittata.
- Oh, how nice.

I had a Groupon for this
little Vietnamese bakery

- down the street. Yeah.
- Oh. Groupon.

- Yeah.
- Got a lot of stuff.

I have no idea
what any of it is.

- Okay.
- Do you have a cutting board?

- Uh, yes, sure.
- Great.

Whoever was on the phone
sounded pretty aggressive.

Ugh. Isaac Zakarian.

Wants me to join his gallery
as managing director.

- You're kidding.
- Who's that?

He's an
international megadealer.

I mean, pretty much the
biggest in the world, right?

That he is.

- Wow.
- Bette used to refer

to him as the Armenian devil.

Oh, isn't that a
little bit racist?

Uh, I don't think
I ever said that.

Yeah, well,
that's the kind of thing

that could've cost you
the election, you know?

Yeah, but I never said it, so...

I mean, that must've
been horrible for you,

losing like that.

I mean, what that must've
been like for you,

- I can't even imagine. Right?

What, honey?

No, I just...
Since Hillary lost,

you know, it's
all I think about.

These women losing
elections. It's not right.

Well, nobody likes losing.

Actually, I'm
a pretty good loser.

You know, public
defender and all.

I give it my best,
and then I move on.

Do you have a better knife?
This one's kind of dull.

- Sure.
- Um, does Angie know we're here?

Uh, I told her.

Hey, Angie?

I think, you know, you
guys should start, so...

Be easier for Angie.

Yeah, easier for
Angie or easier for you?

- Hey.
- Hey, honey.

- Hi.
- There you are.

- Hi.
- Good to see you.

- It's good to see you, too. Hi.
- Hi, sweetie.

Good to see you.

Did someone die?

- No.

I told you she was
gonna think that.

- I know. She said it.
- I said it word for word.

- You said it.
- No, everything is fine.

Yeah.

We just want to talk to
you about our wedding.

Yeah. We're thinking of
doing it kind of soon.

Okay.

Is that a doughnut or...?

Kind of. But there's
meat in the middle.

- I made your favorite frittata

- if you want it.
- Great. Awesome.

I'll have both.

So, we're... We're thinking
about doing it this summer

in Palm Springs.

- Yep.
- Mm.

And we're gonna have a
chicken and waffle truck

at the end of the night, so
all your friends can come.

Anyone you want.

Mm-hmm.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm...

- Okay.
- Good.

- Look. I knew she'd be excited.
- Okay.

Right?

It's a lot, I know. It's just...

It's not too soon, just,

um, that you're
the first to know.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

They-they wanted to
tell you all together.

Right. Your moms and me, like
the Three Amigos.

You don't have to take
it all in at once.

No. No, no, no.
No, that's not it.

Um, you know...

It's just weird that I'm gonna

meet Carrie's family
before I know anything

about this other, like

big part of me.

- What part of you?
- What do you mean, sweetie?

Um.

You know, uh, my donor.

I thought you said it
was a friend of yours.

He wasn't a friend.

He was just someone that I knew,

and we had an agreement that
he would remain anonymous

- until Angie turned 18.
- He was an artist

that Bette knew and... Yeah.

- You knew that.
- Yeah, I-I know, I know.

Um... but I still want to
know more about who I am.

Of course, of course.

But, you know, if you
still feel that way...

- When you're 18.
- When you turn 18, right,

then we wouldn't stop you.

But, um, you're not 18 yet.

It's just one more year.

You know, Angie, I did
one of those DNA tests

where they swab your
mouth and you send it away

and they tell you all about
your ancestry, you know?

- Yeah.
- Turns out

I'm a hundred percent Irish,
which was not a shock.

But I, uh, I found a whole lot
of cousins down in Florida.

All of them were-were
so kind to me.

One of them owns
a Jet Ski store.

- Yeah.
- Right?

And he had every famous
person in Florida there

in the store... even had Obama.

- He has a picture like this

with his arm around Obama.

- Yeah?
- Who I heard

is ten percent Irish, which
means we could be cousins.

Think about that.

That's-that's... that's
cool. Can I do that?

- Um...
- Um

well...

N-No.

You know what,
sweetie? Why don't you let

me and your mom... we'll
talk about it after we eat.

- Yeah, sure.
- Let's just talk about it.

Sure. It's not a
big deal either way.

Just, you know, um...

- Look at this.
- Yeah.

Look, it's cut so nicely.

- It's so doughy.
- So doughy.

Did she make them?

- It's impressive.
- Well, no, actually.

She-she had a Groupon.

- Mm. Who knew?
- Yeah.

All right.

Slow, contemplative music.

Hey, babe, what
do you want for break...

Oh, no, no, no,
no. Where's Micah?

He's supposed to be
helping you with all this.

He went to the gym. He
said he'd be right back,

- but it's been a minute.
- Mm.

Do you think my dad
can just sit at a table

- in the corner by himself?
- Whatever, Nùñez.

It's gonna be perfect.

'Cause after, we're gonna go to
your family's house in Ojai...

Oh, and be naked all day.

Maybe we should
just run away now.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, I want to make
these people cry.

- So don't fuck it up.

Oh.

Gentle music

Oh, shit. Uh, I got
to... I got to run.

Uh, Dani needs me.

She thinks I'm at the gym.

Did you
hear me? I got to go.

- What'd you say?
- I said I got to run.

When am I gonna see you again?

I don't know.

Okay.

I wish I could come to
the wedding with you.

You're gonna look so
fine in that suit, too.

Oh, I wish...
I wish you could, too.

I mean... I mean, you can.

- But you can't, so...
- I know.

I'm gonna leave him soon.
It's just, it takes time

to get out of a marriage,
you know? It's complicated.

Yeah. Yeah, it just, uh,

it just feels like it's
gotten more complicated

since you moved
back in with him.

He's my husband. I had to
give him a real chance.

I got to go.

- Great show, everybody!

- Good night! Thank you so much!

Thank you! Thank you!

- What a fantastic audience.
- Good job, good job.

Oh, my God, what a good show.

Oh, Margaret Cho's
agents keep calling.

- Okay.
- She wants to be on the show.

I'm working on it.

- Great.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, my God!
- What?

- You're getting married.
- Oh, God,

- you've got to stop doing that.
- I... I like fucking with you.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Oh, your hair. You look
amazing. I love the color.

Thanks. Well, this focus group
couldn't tell the difference

between me and
Betty White, so...

I thought I should
make a change.

- Right.
- And I did.

Did you need to see me, or...?

Yes. So, between the
book and the show,

- I'm swamped.
- Right.

And the network wants me to do

a new segment on the
show this season.

- Okay, how can I help?
- So they want kind of a...

Oh. Like a Carpool Karaoke
but with more gravitas.

So, like, Carpool
Karaoke meets...

- Intervention?
- No. Like

uh, like, Ellen's
teacher giveaways meets,

like, Oprah 2.0 meets the viral
nature of Carpool Karaoke?

Hi. Can we get two coffees
but the way we like them?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

So uplifting but not silly,
and interesting enough

for people to watch
and share, right?

Right. But through
the "Alice" lens.

Okay. I didn't think
I had to say "queer."

Well, I don't think we
can explicitly, but...

Right. I won't
tell if you won't.

So, I was gonna hire

a new senior-level
producer to do this.

But, before I do that, I would
like to offer you the job.

What? For real?

Well, between your
documentary background

and everything you've
learned since you came

to work on the show, I
think you could do it.

I mean, it would be
a fuck-ton of work,

- but...
- I mean, I-I'm just...

I'm so flattered.

Well, think it over. You
know, it's a big decision.

- Long hours, shitty pay.
- All right.

- Yeah. Think about it.
- Don't oversell it.

Okay? Let me know.

And until then

your suit.

Tailored by the best in the biz.

Oh, wow! Thank
you so much again.

Wardrobe department did
not need to do this.

- But I'm so glad you did.
- Well...

Yeah, you're getting
married. It's a big deal.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

- Oh, my God. That's awful.

I miss Finley.

- Don't you miss Finley?
- Mm.

I just feel a little
lost without her.

Like, she always anticipated
my needs, you know?

She used to do this thing.

Before I went onstage, she'd be
like, "Eye of the tiger, baby,"

with finger guns and
stuff. I loved it.

She'd sing it if I was
having a really bad day.

- Yeah, that sounds like Finley.
- Yeah, she'd be like...

Eye of the ti... Well,
you know how it goes.

You don't think
she's coming back?

There's not a
chance or anything?

Yeah, no.
She's not coming back.

She's staying in
Kansas City, forever.

Well, I'm gonna have to switch
to tea if that's the case.

Uh, I'm-a get back to work.

Okay.

Would you like another coffee?

Oh, gosh. You know,
I just finished

that delicious one
you made me last.

Um, but can you get me
Sarah Finley on the phone?

Yeah. For sure.

Thanks.

Yesterday.

You've got to do
it. I'll do it, too.

I mean, maybe I have a famous
cousin out there or something.

- There's no way B will let me.
- Why not?

- 'Cause it was Carrie's idea.
- Mm, just don't tell her.

I'll take you to Target and
get you a kit, like, right now.

Are you kidding?

- Sorry.

If she found out that
I went behind her back,

she would just be so upset.

Well, maybe just ask her
again, give her some time.

No, she doesn't need time.

- She needs a mood stabilizer.
- Jesus.

Carrie was
just being Carrie,

and my mom was so annoyed.

Do you think
she's, like, jealous?

I don't
think she's jealous.

I think the idea of adding
Carrie into the family is scary.

Hmm.

But... whatever.

B was not happy.

That sucks, Angie.

Yeah.

Carrie's, like,
kind of the best.

- She kind of is.

No one agrees with me on this!

Hi, hello, pick up the phone.

Yes, it's me, CEO.

Need a vacay, take a PTO...

- So they came over...
- Mm-hmm.

They came over,

and, um, she ran
into my mailbox.

- No.
- Why? Okay.

Carrie is the fucking worst.

Just, like, just everything
is a fucking joke to her.

- Ugh, I'm sorry, Bette.
- Mm. You know

- what she needs to realize?
- Thank you.

That she's at the bottom row

-of the parenting
pyramid, -

- like I am. It's just...
- Exactly.

- You know?
- Exactly. Ooh.

I'm sorry. I'm getting bombarded
with job offers. Thank you.

Well, that's because you're the
best and everybody knows it.

Thank you. I just don't know
why it annoys me so much.

Oh. I do.

I think it's because
their togetherness

just highlights the
fact that I'm alone.

I mean, Tina has Carrie,
and she makes her laugh.

She's all jokey. And
I have... Oh, yeah,

that's right. I have no
one. I'm gonna die alone.

- Mm, come on. Come on.
- No, you're not. No, no.

You know why I know
that's not gonna happen?

- Because you always have Angie.

Yeah. You two could be like

- the Grey Gardens...
- What's wrong with that?

Of this generation.

- That's so messed up.
- But, I mean,

in a much better house.

- Less raccoons, obviously.
- Cleaner, for sure.

- Yeah.
- But, really,

what is the likelihood
that I'm gonna be able

to find someone who
meets all of my criteria

and fits into my
life with Angie?

Criteria? Jesus.

Yeah, criteria.

Actually, I am kind of curious.

- What's your criteria?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, well,

she'd have to have
kids of her own.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ideally.

And, um, not be
married or straight.

And have a job.

Obviously.

No, not a job.

A career. She'd have
to have a career.

Needs to be as
passionate about her work

as I am about mine.

- No way.
- Are you sure about that?

- Yeah.
- No.

No, you've always kind
of wanted more of, like,

a wifey wife-wife kind of type.

- Mm-mm! No.
- Uh-huh.

- Yeah.
- It's okay.

You just want somebody
to deal with the stuff

you can't be bothered with.

Who cares?

- Oh, my God.
- You all right?

- What? Are you okay?
- What's wrong? Are you choking?

I have the perfect
person for you.

- Really?
- Oh, God. Please, don't let her

set you up. That's how
I spent my 30th birthday

with eight hippies
in a fucking yurt.

Okay. You loved it.

- Listen to me.
- No, I didn't. What?

Shane, if she
finds someone by tomorrow,

you don't have to be her date
at Dani and Sophie's wedding.

I mean, you could give
it a chance, right?

I mean, you never know
where love's gonna turn up.

- It's all around you.
- It's everywhere.

Upbeat, rhythmic music.

Back in the day,
whenever somebody left

a museum job to
become an art dealer,

we used to say, "They've
gone over to the dark side."

That's a little overly
simplistic, don't you think?

Maybe. A little.

So, Bette...

What you were doing at
CAC almost 20 years ago,

combining art and
social activism,

nobody was doing that back then.

I assume you still care about
those issues you championed?

I don't know if you were paying
attention, but I ran for mayor.

- And I voted for you.
- Bullshit, Zakarian.

All right, look, you can go
back to being a museum director.

I know you've had
a lot of offers.

And you could mount a
show every couple of years

that moves the
needle incrementally

for artists of color.

Or you could join the biggest
art house in the world

and represent dozens
of marginalized artists

and pay off your campaign debt
the first year of your contract.

Hmm.

You know, I could be a
little irritated that,

in your myopic vision, you've
somehow associated me solely

with BIPOC artists,
when, in fact,

I've worked with pretty
much every major artist

of the last two decades.

But, instead, I will
simply point out

that you represent exactly
three artists of color.

Which is another
reason I need you.

I mean, those marginalized
artists are suddenly

the hottest commodity
in the art world.

And I find, for the first
time in my career, that, uh,

I'm behind the curve.

So I will meet your
salary demands.

Wait.
You're not gonna...

You're not gonna insult
me with a lowball offer?

Plus,

a signing bonus for
all your BIPOC artists.

No.

Signing bonuses for all
artists I add to the roster.

Of course.

Plus ten percent of sales.

All right. We have a deal.

- Ah. Wonderful.
- All right.

Mr. Zakarian, I've got Daniel
Katz from the CAC on the line.

Excellent.

- Well, tell him I said hello.
- Yes, I will.

Oh, uh, your office
is straight ahead.

Make yourself comfortable.

Contemplative music

Asshole.

Oh, Carl.

No, you're too much.

It was...

No, I put it in the
second, uh, chapter

'cause I did pee
my pants, really.

I-I know.

And my parents... I know.

Yeah, I've been working
on it for months.

Oh. Hilarious?

It's the book publisher.
They love the book.

Oh, my God.

Really? Oh, you want to
move up the publishing date?

Okay.

That
sounds fantastic.

- Yeah.

All right. Okay.

Okay. Love to the wife.

- Bye-bye.
- Ah.

Oh, my God. Holy shit! Alice!

- Yes. They love the book.
- They love the book

They love the book.

They love my book.

They love my... Sorry.

Um, yeah, they're gonna
send their best editor

- to help me get it done in time.
- Wow.

Well, do they want a lot
of changes or something?

No, no, no, no. They
just want to make,

like, a last pass before
it goes to print, you know?

I can't
wait to buy my copy.

Oh, more good news.
I spoke to Finley.

She said if I needed
her, she'd come back.

What? No, she's supposed
to stay in Kansas City.

No, I know, but I said we
both missed her, and she'd...

Wait, you did what?!

I just, uh, well, I

Um, no, no, no.

You just... you got to tell
her that she can't come back.

She cannot come back here.

Okay, what's going on?

- Everyone's looking at us.
- Um...

Um, all right, just come on.

Um...

- So, um...
- Yeah. So...

Finley, uh, and I...

We, um... you know.

We, um, uh...

Oh. Did it?

Yeah.

When-when did you...
when did you guys...?

Just, uh, when we
wrapped last season.

- Oh. Fuck.

Yeah, in the green room.

Oh. I nap on that couch.

I mean, it was...

Look, it was a... it
was a one-time thing.

- Mm-hmm.
- And it didn't mean anything.

And, I mean, it was

it was fucking amazing.

Well, I don't need the

- details.
- But she's gone and it's done.

- Okay.
- And Dani doesn't know.

And now I think that
I should've told her.

Well, do you think
that I should tell her?

Um...

I... uh, I would
leave it in the past,

and I would just
focus on the future.

- Right. Right, right, right.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

No. No, I can't do that.

I can't marry her
and-and not tell her.

- Oh.
- Well, I'm just gonna go

to our wedding rehearsal
dinner, I'm just gonna tell her.

Okay, so opposite
of what I just said.

Yeah.

Bright music.

Hi. Oh, thank you.

There you are.

Hey. I'm sorry that

- I'm late.
- Hey.

Wow. You
look so beautiful.

Um, so do you.

You look amazing.

- Shall we?
- Yeah.

Come on.

Can you believe we're
getting married tomorrow?

Oh, here comes the bride.

- Need to talk to you.

Uh, yeah, just give me a minute.

Tense music

Ay, mi cariño.

Come here. Come here.

- Please.

Well, first of
all, I know I speak

for everyone in
this room when I say

that we are so happy you
didn't get married in Hawaii.

Getting married.

You're getting married.

Sophie, I
want to welcome you

into our family.

- Salud.
- Salud.

This feels too good.

I'll be right back.

- You told him?
- I'm sorry.

Cheating is a
deal-breaker for Dani.

You know this. I know this.

You have to tell her.

I want to, but...

But-but what? If you love her,
then I-I think you have to...

You know I love
her. You know that.

You have to tell her.

- I-I will.
- When?

Uh, I-I don't know.

I-I... I-I think you got to
do it before the wedding.

Yes, okay? Yes, I promise.

I promise you that
I will tell her.

- All right?
- Okay. Okay, I'm sorry.

Tell me what?

Tell me what?

Um

Is it the place?

Is it the place?
Is it too formal?

No. No, it's fine.

No, no, no, it's not. It's not.

Really, it's fine.

- Let me make it up to you.
- What? You don't have to do...

You don't have to make
up anything. It's fine.

Do you want to go out tonight?

- What-what do you mean?
- Like...

Like, we could throw our own
bachelorette party or something.

Just you and me?

Yeah.

Yeah, we can... we can,
uh... we can get shit-faced,

and we can dance a little bit.

We can fuck in a bathroom stall

- like we did when we first met.
- No.

- Shh. Wow.
- No one's listening.

Um...

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd love that.

- Yes. Okay.
- Okay. Mwah.

Come on.

Slow, dramatic music

- Whoa.
- Hey. Oh.

- Hi. You look amazing.
- Thank you.

I-I'm just going out
for a little while.

Um, well, I-I... Um,
Alice has a friend,

and I-I'm gonna just...

Well, I'm just
gonna spend, um...

- You mean like a blind date?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- I mean, it might be a disaster.

I don't know, but...

Ange, your-your mom
and I discussed it,

- and we were...
- Oh, can I say something first?

- Oh, of course.
- Sorry.

- No, go ahead.
- Um

so.

Just because I am curious

about my donor doesn't mean

that I think he is
my dad or anything.

Like, that word doesn't
even sound right.

- You're my mom, and...
- I know. I know that. I-I know.

And I get that it might
be hard for you...

- No, no, no, no.
- I just want you to know...

It's not... No, no,
no. It's not that.

It's not that at all. It's
not hard for me at all.

It's just, um

we promised him that he
could remain anonymous.

We promised him.

And he gave us you.

At a time when it
was difficult for us,

as lesbians, to have children.

- I know.
- Yeah, and I think

we need to honor that.

Okay.

I get it.

All right.

- Oh.
- What?

- Uh...
- Do you...

I hate to sandwich
a no with a no,

but T and I don't
think it's a good idea

for you to do that
genealogy test.

- Oh.
- Yeah, just those

those companies, they
collect all your data.

- Mm-hmm.
- And-and, I mean, I know

- you're a young adult.
- Right.

- But you're not 18 yet.
- Mm-hmm.

And-and we would just
feel more comfortable

if you waited, okay?

- Yeah. Sure. Of course.
- Good.

All right. Well, God
knows I won't be out late.

- Mm-hmm.
- So just call me

if you need anything.

- Love you.
- I love you, too.

Can you see my
underwear in this?

- No.
- Okay. All right.

Good.

Dramatic music.

Yeah, yeah. Just
give me 20 minutes.

Tess, there was a line.
What do you want me to do?

You want to eat?

Yeah. No, and I got
you the vegetarian one.

Okay. All right. Yeah.

Just, yeah, give
me 20, 25 at most.

Okay. All right.

Hi, Chloe.

Bum, ba-dum, ba-dum,
bum, ba-dum, ba-dum.

Bum, ba-dum, ba-dum, hey.

Bum, ba-dum, ba-dum,
bum, ba-dum, ba-dum.

Bum, ba-dum, ba-dum, hey

- I don't find trouble, yeah.
- All right.

Trouble finds me.

Ah-ya-ya, yeah, ah-ya-ee.

Trouble finds me.

Ah-ya-ya, yeah, ah-ya-ee.

Trouble finds me.

Ah-ya-ya, yeah, ah-ya-ee

I don't find trouble,
yeah, trouble finds me.

Hi.

Um... God.

Shut the fuck up!

Hey. I-I... I-I'm sorry.

- Actually, I have a, um...
- This is too good.

Nat and Alice are
legitimately hilarious.

- Are they?
- Uh, yeah, they are. They are.

I mean, I think so.
You look amazing.

- Oh.
- Is this Tom Ford?

- Thank you. Yes. Yeah.
- It's hot.

I heard the scallops
are amazing.

You down to share?

Sure. Yeah.

Here you go.

I
hope you don't mind.

Don't fall for it, Amanda.

It's 10 p.m. Why
do you have sunglasses on?

Oh, please, it's the husband.

- It's always the husband.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- No, I was not watching

three hours of SVU.

That would be a
crazy thing to do.

Well, I had a truly
insane day full of sex,

scandal and regret.

Oh, who was your guest?

Oh, no, that was just my staff.

Do you
want some wine?

Oh, yeah. Love some.

Did you hear from Bette?

Oh, my God, I totally forgot.

- Oh, well, I didn't.
- Did you?

- I heard from Gigi.
- And?

Okay. She texted me some
emojis, which are unclear,

but I think that
means it's going well.

Oh, my God, do you think
this means we're not gonna

have to see Gigi tomorrow?

- One can only hope.
- That would be amazing.

All right, let's see this show.

Let me see what all
the hype is about.

It's so good.

Does she always wear
a leather jacket?

- Of course.
- She's serious.

- Mm-hmm.
- Who's that?

I don't know.

You don't know, and
you've been watching

this whole time?

Just some bitch on this episode.

- I missed you today.
- I missed you.

- You did?
- Mm-hmm.

- How was your day?
- Great.

- Great now.
- Yeah?

Guess it doesn't feel real
when I think it all through.

But I like it.

Always thought that I knew,
always thought that I knew.

Which direction, perfection.

In every little thing that I do.

Nat?

Nat.

Nat.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh.

- What? I wasn't...
- No.

Look...

No. Don't follow me.

I wasn't asleep. I was
just resting my eyes.

- Uh-uh! No!
- I have heavy lids.

Wow.

So, I finally
get on the paddleboard.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm up maybe 30 seconds,

and then, bam, I go down hard.

Like feet over
head, board over me.

They send someone
over to save me.

The woman never called me again.

So how 'bout you?
What's your worst date?

Oh, gosh.

I don't even remember.

Oh, come on.

Bette Porter doesn't
go on bad dates?

Takes the pressure
off this one, I guess.

Uh, well, in all honesty,
I just... I haven't been

- on a date in a long time.
- Hmm.

I think... I guess I
find the whole concept

just a...
a little sad.

Wow. Okay.

I personally find it to be

a useful step in
the process of...

I don't know, getting
to know someone

you might like to spend
more time with, or...

No, that's not what I meant.

Look, I completely get
it. L.A. is filled with...

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Okay, here's the
deal, all right?

That's Tina, my ex,
Carrie, her fiancée.

Not a fan. They're getting
married this summer.

- Okay.
- Look who it is.

- Imagine this.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Hey. Hi. This is, um...

You-you know, Alice had this...

Hi. I'm Gigi.

Oh. Oh.

Wow. Nice to finally meet you.

Nice to meet you. And
you must be Carrie.

- Yes.
- I've heard so much about you.

Oh, really? Anything
Bette's told you about me is

subject to
cross-examination.

I'm kidding. I know we're
all part of the same team.

- What team is that?
- Yankees.

All the way. Yankees or die.

Well, I hear
this place is great.

It is. Get the scallops.

They are perfectly seared.

Ooh. No, I got a texture
thing with scallops, honey.

No can do. I can't, no.

Well, save 'em for
the grown-ups, right?

- Well, enjoy your dinner.
- You, too.

- You, too.
- Okay.

- Okay, I would say I love you...
- Mm.

But I don't really
know you that well.

No, go ahead, say it.

Nat and Alice would
be thrilled.

What the hell is
she talking about?

"Save 'em for the grown-ups."
What does she think I am?

Where are you, honey?

- I'm coming.
- Go ahead.

Does it hurt to
see them together?

I'm sorry. You don't
have to answer that.

It was hard for me, at
first, to see Nat with Alice.

You make a life with
someone, and when it's over,

it's like you're
spinning in the dark.

I just really
thought that, uh...

Well, at first,
when-when she left,

I thought, uh, I
thought Tina just needs

some space, you know?

I mean, she's spent
practically her entire

adult life in my orbit.

She probably just needs to be
front and center for a while.

But then, um...

You thought she'd
come back to you.

Carrie's looking over
here and she looks pissed.

Now, I don't want to
complain again, but here.

They make the font so
small, honey. Look.

You're gonna have
to read it to me,

- 'cause I can't even read it.

And if I don't know what's
in the dish, sweetie,

- you know what's gonna happen?
- What?

- I'm gonna get reflux.
- You always say this.

I know, but I'm gonna
order something,

I'm gonna get reflux.
Gonna ruin my whole night.

Do you think Bette's okay?

- Bette?
- Yeah.

No, I don't think she's okay.

I think she's in love with you.

No, she is not.

Yes, she is.

I mean, she's sitting
with that beautiful woman,

and all she can do is look
over here and stare at you.

Do you think she's beautiful?

Objectively, in, like, a
common kind of way, I guess.

- Yes, I guess I could say so,

but, honey, she's no you.

Trust me on that one.

And, listen, if you want
to order the scallops,

I'll totally try the scallops.

Remember when we were in Mexico

and you got me to
eat that raw fish?

You said, "It's ceviche.
Who knew that was raw fish?"

- Yeah, I did.
- I loved that.

I don't know why I'm so quick
to just throw things away,

you know what I mean?

If you want the scallops,
I'll do the scallops.

I think you're beautiful.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

That's a nice thing to say.

I love you.

I love you, too.

They're definitely
talking about us again.

- Really?
- Mm.

Honey, you're so cold.

Come here.

You left me unpatrolled.

Oh, we're... Wait,
we're really doing this?

Yeah. We're doing this.

Do things I don't want to do.

Ooh, oh, for you.

You terrible thing.

You terrible thing, you.

Terrible thing.

You beautiful thing.

You beautiful thing

- You're very naughty.
- You terrible thing

- What
are you laughing at?

Nothing. No. You're
just, you're so excited,

I can barely keep up with you.

Who knew poker would
be so fun, huh?

- It is fun.
- It is.

I love that. I love
seeing you happy.

Thank you.

- Oh, ladies first, please.
- Oh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Buy in.
- Yeah, it's ten, right?

Yup.

Hey.

'Sup?

Eddie, what's going on?

- Is there a game tonight?
- Nah.

Not tonight. Shane,
why don't you sit down.

No, I'm okay. I think
I can, I can stand.

Man, sit your ass down.

You should, you should sit.

All right, all right, all
right. I'm sitting, Tess. Jesus.

All right.

Yeah.

Shane, do you know why I
started this poker game?

- No.
- Because I wanted a place

for Black lesbians
to be able to come,

kick it and just vibe.

Mainly because y'all take
up a lot of space in WeHo.

That Dinah Shore
shit is not for us,

and I don't fuck
with your music.

It's wack.

What I wanted to do was sort
of bring our worlds together.

So by allowing you to
come into our space,

I assumed you'd be
respectful of my house.

Uh, okay. I, um, I
think you lost me.

You tried to fuck my wife.

That was my reaction, too.

I'm sorry.
Hold on. Chloe.

I had no idea she was your wife.

Truly, she said nothing.

She don't really have
to say anything to you.

She can fuck whoever she wants.

I told you to behave yourself,

and now the bridge
has been burned.

All right? I can't have you
coming in here trying to

colonize our game night.

You got to get the
fuck out of here

- and never come back.
- Okay, uh,

I'd just like the
money that I just

passed off for the night.

10K is gone.

We just gonna call
it reparations.

That's fair. Yeah. Okay.

- Let's go.
- My apologies.

- I had no idea.
- I'm sorry.

- Yeah, I-I receive that.
- Go.

All right, I'm going.

Sorry, Eddie.

God bless.

- You, too.
- Mm-hmm.

- Shit.
- Oh, my God.

Jesus Christ. Tess,
I swear to God,

I had no idea that was her wife.

- I know.
- I swear to you.

- Please trust me.
- I know. I know.

Oh, my God, you should've
seen your face though.

- What? Me?

- You should have seen your face!
- No!

Don't put that on me.
You're projecting.

Um... Hey, hey.

I-I have to tell you something.

Okay.

Um...

Alice offered me
a promotion today.

That's great, baby!
Congratulations!

I know. It's-it's a
lot of work though

and a lot of
responsibility, so...

I have... I have no doubt
that you can handle it.

Yeah, but we want
to start a family.

Yeah.

You're gonna look
so cute pregnant.

Oh, God. Mm.

But I don't want to do both.

Okay. Well, then tell her, baby.

Thank her for believing in you,
and tell her that right now

it just doesn't fit
in with your plans.

- With our plans.

I want to have babies with you.

You're gonna be
the best mama ever.

Oh, my God.

I had the weirdest
dream last night.

What?

- Say it.
- I-I can't tell you.

- Stop it. What? Tell me.
- Mm.

Wait, wait.

Was it a sex dream?

Tell me everything. Oh, my God.

I want every detail.

- About Bette Porter?
- Oh...

- I know. I know.
- Whoa.

I know, I know, I know.
It-it... it's weird, but I...

I feel like it
happened for a reason.

- Okay.
- I think it was, like,

my subconscious trying
to tell me to tell you

that-that I had a crush on
her when I worked for her.

A-And even though it
doesn't mean anything,

I just thought you should know
before we got married, you know?

- Mm. Well...

Ooh.

I mean, is-is

is that all? Just a crush?

Of course. Oh, God, no.

Nothing happened.

- I-I would never do that to you.
- Yeah.

Cheating is, like,
deal-breaker shit.

No, no. I would
never. That'd be it.

- Right.
- Like, we'd be done.

Like, there's
no coming back from that.

No, I-I hear, I hear,
hey, I hear you.

- Yeah?
- Loud and clear.

- Okay.

I love you. You know that?

Baby, the sound of you.

Better than a harmony.

I love you.

I want you off my mind.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

And on me...

Yes, baby.

- I'll let you unbutton.

It just doesn't work. Come here.

This ain't a dream.

- You're here with me.

Boy, it don't get
no better than you

For you.

I want to take my time.

All night, I want to love you

In every kind of way

I want to please
you, no matter...

You're so beautiful.

If the world should
end tomorrow.

And we only have today

I'm gonna love you
in every kind of way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

It don't get no
better than this.

Your kiss, I want to love you.

In every kind of way

I want to please you, no
matter how long it takes.

If the world should
end tomorrow.

And we only have today

I'm gonna love you.

In every kind of way.

I want to love you.

In every kind of way

It was a total disaster.

Until Tina and Carrie showed up.

No.

Oh, God, what did Gigi do?

Um.

She was, she was
great, actually.

Oh, I bet she was. Yeah,
she's great in crisis.

- Yeah.
- Sure thing.

- Um, hey...
- I'm just gonna...

No, wait, Bette, hol... Did
you, did you guys hook up?

- Stop it.
- Yeah, wait, what happened?

- Yeah, like, like, anything?
- Nothing.

Kissing or...

- We want details.
- Fingering or anything?

Okay. We kissed.

- What?
- Yes, it was...

Okay, awkward, right?
Kind of awkward, you guys?

You were the one
who introduced us.

I know, but you know.

Now we share
something in common.

- It's just... Yeah, um...

- Um, we really do.
- Did you want to...

- I got to... I'll be right back.
- Do you want to sign it?

Oh.

God, I never know
what to write in these things.

- You okay?
- Huh?

Yeah, I got to take
care of a thing.

So, have you heard from Eddie?

She is not exactly
answering my calls.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Oh, Tess, I'm sorry. I...

I know you loved working
there. I really am sorry.

Something like that. Yeah.

Tell me.

I didn't love it, I needed
it. There's a difference.

Hi.

Well, let me make it up to you.

It's okay. You don't
owe me anything.

So what's going on with you two?

- Hi. How you doing?
- Hey.

- Good.
- Let's go.

All right. Okay.

You want to be quiet
about it. I get it.

- Are you coming?
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you for inviting me.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi. I got your text
message. Is everything okay?

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, everything's great.

Oh, you look
incredible, by the way.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

- And, uh, I didn't tell her.
- Oh, God. Okay.

- Thank God. Yeah.
- And you'll never tell

- a soul, right?
- No. Never.

Never. No.

And I think that I can't
accept your job offer.

We just, we, um, we
want to start a family.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I get it. Sure.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Um, thank you.

- Yeah.
- I'll, uh,

I'll see you down there.

Okay.

- Yeah.
- All right.

Gentle music

- Oh, hi.
- Hey.

So, where are we sitting?

Uh, I saved
you a seat right here.

- Oh, where's Nat?
- Right behind you.

Oh. Who is she talking
to? Who is that?

- Uh, probably a caterer.
- Oh.

She always zeros in on a
freshly passed app, so...

Well, those must be some pretty
good apps, then.

- Really?
- Well, I mean, just seems

like they're hitting
it off, that's all.

Oh.

Okay. Shane, will
you hold these?

Yeah, can you grab me
one of those snacks?

- On a plate? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The snacks?

Okay. Excuse me. Sorry.

- Oh, my God...
- Excuse, excuse, excuse, excuse.

But we got through it.

- Hi. Hi. Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Um, the wedding is about
to start. So we should...

Okay, great. Um, Marissa,
this is my girlfriend A...

- Do what?
- Uh, I was just saying

that this is my girlfriend
Alice, and this is Marissa.

- Love your show.
- Oh.

Thank you so much.

Uh, Marissa was just
telling me about her husband

and her girlfriend.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Yeah, we tried the whole
throuple thing with her ex-wife.

- Nat was telling me.
- Yeah, it was no good.

- There were moments.
- It was, um...

- Yeah, highs and lows.
- I would say

it wasn't that great.

It didn't end well.
It ended poorly.

- It was nice meeting you.
- Oh, yeah, nice meeting you.

- Really nice meeting you.
- So, oh, yeah.

- She's nice.
- At this time...

- Yeah.
- We'd like to ask all guests

to please be seated.

You know, she was actually

bringing up something
kind of interesting.

Was she?

- We can talk about it later.
- Yeah.

Okay.

Wow.

You look so beautiful.

- Just breathe.

We're getting married.

Welcome.

Thank you all for joining
us as we celebrate...

I love you so much.

- Dani and Sophie.
- You know that, right?

When I look around
at the love that

- Hello?

Oh, shit.

Uh...

- I might need a ride home.
- Wait, what?

- What do you think you're doing?

- Sorry.
- What is she doing?

- Hi.
- I think I might know.

I, uh...

Oh, boy. I...

- I love you.

I think I've always loved you,

and I just didn't want
you to get married

without all that information.

And if you don't
feel the same way,

I'll leave right now
and, you know...

This will be a great story to
tell or something. But, um...

I do love you. So...

I'm pretty sure
you love me, too.

S-Sophie, wh-what's going on?

Soft, dramatic music

Sophie, what is
she talking about?

I...

Hit hard, cause a scandal.

Can't stop, I'm hard to handle.

Don't care if my halo dips.

My rise to this
is worth the risk.

Run fast, put up a champion.

One chance to make it happen.

Don't care if my halo dips.

My rise to this
is worth the risk.

Work, work, harder, harder.

We work, work for
the dollar, dollar