Original subtitles

Okay, we got three Lob rolls, platter,

three fish and chips, chicken fingers, onion rings, two fried clams all day. Lets go people!

-Okay, I got the Lob rolls. -Ah guys, we do many platters. -Get the drinks done, Mikail,

-huh buddy! -How are those clams, Seth? -Golden Brown just the way you like them, huh?

Excellent, that's what I'm talking about. -Come on people, keep it going.

Those look perfect. Is that fish and chips with flounder or with cod?

-The cod fish! -Mikail, I told you that we eighty-sixed the cod. I thought that was the flounder?

-If it was the flounder, we would have eighty-sixed the flounder Ru. -Ha, ha, ha

-Very funny with the sarcasm. -It's easy. Alright, where are the chicken

-tenders, I got no, nevermind got them. -I'm sure they're right in the fridge.

-How are we on time? How are we on time?! We are at 58:35 guys, pick up the pace this is the home stretch.

We can do this!

-Guys, one more ticket left. Here we go, wrap it up Mikail, wrap it up for me baby.

-Chicken tenders! -Chicken tender in the window. -Do you have all the condiments?

-Alright, tell me when you're ready. Tell me when you're done. -Come on!!

-Hang on, hang on, hang on. -Boom! -Tell me we got a record,

-tell me we're under an hour. -59:45, personal best!

-That's a record baby! -Crush the fish!!

-The onions! We forgot the onions.

-Seth, the onion rings again! -How stupid can you be

-Seth, how stupid can you be?! -It could be my fault, I mean I, I...

-Well check on the tickets for me. That's what you're suppossed to . -Look, I can only be a buffer.

-You can't even follow up on your tickets? I'm just saying. -Shut up! Stop.

That just cost us "The Golden Scallop." Line it up and lets run

-it back. -Lindsay, I no can do this again. I have work in two hours.

Hey Mitch, you gotta try one of these fishwich.

There's something fishy about it. It's about as addictive as the first season

of "Hill Street Blues." I think it's got nicotene in it.

Hahaha.

Splendid. Well, the Martin Boys are

back, winning the online vote for great seafood from a mobile location.

The Caped Cod has committed itself to quality and received the invitation they have

always wanted. And one of my all time favorites, The Happy Hooker

has regained prominence. -Having Lindsay back has

-really, helped them, it's been great. -Right now we're on our way to the

Lobster Tail, winner of the eighth championship.

1976, what a year!

The Judge never stops researching.

My nephew Mitch and I keep scorecards. Evaluating accuracy, flair in the kitchen,

speed and of course taste.

This being the 43rd championship, it would be easy for me to fall off my game, so I

have to keep in prime eating shape. I could never eat this food

if it wasn't in the name of the championship. -Yea, that would be, that would be impposible.

I like to think of myself as the HIghlander.

With every meal I eat, I absorb the power

and become a stronger, more accurate judge!

The Judge gets his power from food,

not decapitations. -I'm not afraid of death.

I would eat fried clams until Mitch here had to pry the last, delicious morsel

from my cold dead hand, if it meant maintaining

the integrith of the championship.

That's actually a scenario that we've discussed.

Many times.

Two Caped Cod specials, with slaw. You guys have a wonderful meal and let me know if you need anything.

-Why not wear capes? -We're on Cape Cod.

That's what we asked ourselves twelve years ago when we first got into this business. And I think

the numbers really speak for themselves. And this, is the first

year it's finally been rewarded with a Golden Scallop championship.

Ths Fsh is Frsh. It's a slogan I'm working on

it utilizes consinents. It's a literary thing, it's a work in progress.

It really is an honor to have been seleceted by Judge Wellington.

We were beginning to think that he didn't like us. But we have no doubt that we're going to win.

None at all. We have attractive young women, serving grerat food at a reasonable

rate, all while wearing capes. I mean what's not

to like about that? -Well I don't like it... I LOVE it.

We do have the best staff though, friendly,

tight young girls serving the food. And we have a wonderful French chef, Marcel Depaul

flown here for the summer. I don't understand a word he says. -Yea, we flew him in from France.

Oh and we have the most amazing manager, Corey.

He is just a dream and he's been with us since the start.

-If I was five years younger. Haha. -If I was five years younger.

And not married, and gay. Oooh, errrr.

I'm going to be the tastiest treat, Ooh

fish the most delicious meat, babidilly bahaha hooo hooo

sizzle. Wyatt's drawing from his seat

and the Fishmonger can't be beat. Wy-bidilly babooba oooh oooh...

-I like the sizzle part. -Sizzle!!

Hi, I'm Jake Martin and this is my brother Wyatt Martin. -Hello.

We are the proud co-owners and co-operators of

the smallest big deal in town. The Fishmonger! The Capes only

fried seafood restaurant on wheels. -We couldn't afford a stationary one.

And we're just so happy to be back here in The Golden Scallop Championship, which is a

competition that we were lucky enough to be a part of ten years ago.

-Doug! Shut up. -You ain't the boss of me! -We have the movie cameras here.

-It's embarassing.

-Don't listen to him, he's kinding. -We have a hobo infestation.

-The last four years have been really tough. I haven't been in a good place. -Well not just Wyatt, both of us.

Since the doors to Martin's Fish closed

we've had some dark times.

Alright Agatha, it's time for your session. Both paws, that's it.

And, let it out.

It's been rough, but between the loyal fan base, with Doug.

The better story really is...

Wyatt's incredible artistry and how this got us into the championship this year

through the online vote. -So when we named it the Fishmonger, I knew

that it had to be our next comic. And I haven't properly given tribute to my Nana.

-It's modeled after our Nana. -So I wanted to, and

went from there. SHe cuts fish and does all this stupid stuff during the day

that we have to do. But at night, she kills things.

If it's somebody that's dumping oil into a dolphin pool

she's gonna save it. Or if it's a hobo

that's stealing cans, she'll kill him. She'll kill him

She'll let him bleed out. Or maybe it's Cecil Martin. -Whoa! Cecil?!

We'll hang him up at town center and have a little pinata party.

Just a full on beat down. Let him go, let him go.

Let the blood come out like candy! -And that's all we did, we took the online vote, and linked it

to the online comic and here we are, talking to you. Fishmonger!!

But the problem is, most of the people that like us, they're in Japan.

I would like to use this time though to thank my Japanese fans and

there continued support. I prepared something.

-Arigato. Fishmonger ichiban! -Ichiban, Fishmonger! Arigato.

Don't, I prepared it, you're going to patronize them with it.

Well patronage is good. It's like another work for customers. Patronage!!

And could I interest you in a couple extra slices of bacon, my little culinary cupcake.

Dad, I don't eat pork.

Oh yea that's right, that was your mom. I'm sorry sweatheart, geez maybe I got some

ground turkey, I could make you some turkey sausages. Hang on here, I can find them.

Nope, it's fine dad. The eggs are just fine.

Oh shit. Shit!

The Golden Scallop people announced to the public that we're in the championship, dad.

Hey I got some ground beef. I could make some cheeseburger omelettes or something like that.

Yea, but it's going to be in every paper, dad, on every food website. I mean, we are not

ready for this type of business. What do you want to do? What are we going to do?

This ground beef is no good. Repeat, do not eat the ground beef!

-Bye dad. -Hey wait a minute, I got parmesan!

Marcy, Marcy turn your arm up when you scoop

no drip drop on the table. Day of the announcement, we're always very busy, we're always very ready.

Come on girls! Move it, move it, focus. Wendy, keep that back arched.

Chest out, smiles up, capes back! You all have nice teeth, that's why

you were hired, so use it. Use the teet and something else. You know what I'm saying, you know whatI'm talking about.

You know what I mean? Honey you're doing great. High five!

Well something I learned during the dot-com boom of the nineties was

the importance of leadership.

And to remain calm in the craziest of circumstances.

Thank you, Wednesday.

We worked hard, but we played Harder.

But now, I just get to play. Cindy's more the hands on

go getter type owner. My management style

is a little more subdued.

I like to give the girls and Corey a look. Just to let them know I'm supporting them.

Man, the nineties were crazy.

-There's that scumbag. -That's our dad

Cecil Martin, and he's poisoning the lobster supply at Harry's Fish.

He actually did that at nine different places so you can see he's quite adept at it.

Allegedly. I mean, this is the only one they had the video evidence of.

The only thing redeeming about this video, is that he's about to get the business.

-Four years of suffering, boom! -He was tried and convicted of eco-terrorism

over four years ago, and the public still hasn't forgiven him, but we have.

-I haven't forgiven him. -On a positive note

all of the attention from The Golden Scallop Championship has reminded people

of an old slogan.

-Suck it Martins!!!

Don't keep telling people to do that, it's not good.

It's good to see Dad again though.

-You have nice eyes. -Oh, thank you.

Real great, real great, busiest day of the year and we can't get one order right.

I'm in the weeds and Mikail's over there, chatting it up with anyone he can. Sorry Seth, I do not

understand the America, in mother Russia, communism covers my ass from working.

Oh I would love to have a group of workers, picking up

my slack while I'm in the bear den making bears all night. But no, no I'm here.

-I'm always here. -Nicole, could you help Mikail please since he seemes to be completely

incapable of doing his only job. He's totally weeded.

-What do you mean weeded? I have customer talking to, what? -Mikail, I can see the weeds.

Okay, I need those two fish and chips yesterday chef.

before, we're fine, we can totally do this. Maikail get to work!!

Oh great Mikail, why don't you sweep up the imaginary dust

that is why your country collapsed comrade, right there.

That is very funny Seth, because I am from Belarus and I was maybe like one, two years old

when Soviet Union fell, so... -I don't need the monalogue, just sweep!

Just let it go, breath, relax Seth. You got this. Remember, I need you for that championship.

That's right Lindsay. Stay calm Seth.

Women love the calm.

Hi, my name's Seth and I am an addict.

I'm addicted to stress. Haha.

No but seriously, I cannot get enough of deadlines

And I think that's why I enjoy kitchen work so much, and of course why

I love making custom stuffed bears.

Fifteen years ago, I was always partying.

And I was kind of like the cool guy, to Lindsay and her friends.

But, you can't always be the party animal.

Sometimes you gotta be the guy that makes the party animal.

I've been customizing these bears for almost

eight years now. Can't get enough of it.

In the beginning, it was rough man. Because, I didn't have

any direction. But one day, when

Lindsay, well she was visiting from college.

And I was showing her my work.

She happened to mention how much she missed the then recently

departed, Rodney Dangerfield. And it just clicked.

Because, every business, they're looking for specialization.

And it just hit me, make custom bears

that look like dead celebrities. And thus

Obitu-Bears was born and it's been a hit commercially. Obitubears.com

I was actually suppossed to have my first gallery appearence

in a few weeks, but it conflicts with the

championship. So, I get to fry cook instead

of customizing my Teddy's.

Winning the GOlden Scallop award, it really make Lindsay

and Buzz the happiest. And it would be great to know that

we were talented, but most importantly Lindsay would be happy.

So, I'd rather that then some

silly display of stuffed animals.

Isn't that right, Black Beard? Arrgghhh Matey!!

Black Beard. Hahaha.

Aaaarrrgh.

-Jake, one Lob roll... Oh no. -Chowder man!!

-Hey Doug! -Jake!

-This isn't the cup, sorry Doug. -Oh, that's my bad, that's

my pee cup. I can't tell you how many times

I make that mistake. -Six times Doug. -You counted?

Yes, I count. Unlike you, you hobo, I count.

In a perfect world, I would build the rocket ship I've been designing and put Doug on it

and send it into orbit, and get him lost at the moon. And then I'd have a remote control and I'd blow it up

at the end and he would die in space. But not from the explosion, from the pressure hitting

head, and then jarring Out!!!

Hoorah! Lets do this.

The Judge loves his rules, but what makes the GSC so compelling is the fact that the audience

plays such a large part in the voting process, accounting for a total of forty percent

of the total score for each restaurant. Now here's how it works, each restaurant has one hour

to complete one hundred orders. They're being judged on flair, accuracy

and they can receive bonus points for speed. So theoretically

they could earn more than one hundred points if they really had a top dog day.

Right, the importance of taste. All that only equals

thirty points, which leaves a whopping seventy points

left for taste. Which is, by far the most important

part of the judgeing process to the judge himself and...

(phone ringing) One second.

Hey Judge.

Yea, I think we could make the pinata work, sure.

Okay, enjoy your shrimp. I love you too.

Okay, Bye.

The last part, we can...

Right? Okay.

Does this fish want to swim into your mouth and fall into your tummy?

Is that the color we want?

Make them golden, yeah?

No!!

-What are you doing miss? -Taking this plate. -It isn't ready yet

what have we told you? -Don't touch the plates until you say so

but Corey told me to. -Oh, is Corey the chef? -I need that plate out Marcel

it's fish and chips, not foie gras. -Boys please, you can take that plate honey.

Oh, wait a minute.

Well I come from the finest culinary background

training in Lyon, then in Paris

and then a brief stint in the Las Vegas.

I come here to win this little championship.

And because the money is good, it's very good, right? I do not care so much

for the food, but if Miss Williams wants to put out Shit

that is her right. I worry not so much about making the quality perfect

but in asking the right questions.

I am like the film director, no? Like me and you, it's the same idea.

Except I am like the Christoff Nolan, no and you are the Brett Ratner.

See, because I do not believe in telling someone what to do. No.

Instead I simply say something like...

Would you like to eat these cold fries Fernando?!

No?! Then why would you serve them?!

When I ask the questions, it is like

these terribly untalented and untrained people can come to the

same answer as a world renowned chef. Like Marcel Depaul.

That is me, no?

-Hey -How are we on the books?

A little behind but doing better, starting to thin out some in here but

we were really swamped earlier. Fantastic work, everybody loved it.

-Really? I feel like we were putting out absolute crap. -No.

I mean, it's just a lack of focus, that's all there is to that.

-But uh... -Cut one more onion, I'm going to snap!

Yes, only three competitors per team in the kitchen.

No, no it's nothing like "Iron Chef."

Well, it's more like uh, like uh...

"American Idol," meets, "Murder She Wrote."

Well the intrigue, that's why.

Yes, I would be Angela Lansbury.

Alright, I'll see you in a week.

Who was that?

-Boston Globe. -Angela Lansbury. -Haha. Great actress. -Oh yeah.

Now what have you got going over there with my tournament?

I'm just putting the finishing touches on the Fisherman's Ball and working on the opening ceremonies.

I've been meaning to talk to you about this, what do you think of a pyrotechnic show

to kick off the tournament.

-I don't know if we have room for it in the budget. -Yes, but what do you think Mitch? Dream the dream!

-Sounds great. -You know, I was watching

the Pro wrestling last night. And it's really the fireworks that make

the entrance. Can you imagine the Judges intro? Huh?!

Here he is, the man with the clam, the ravenous

the elastic sided, Judge Wilfred Wellington! Boom!!

And the fireworks go off and it blows the, "Iron Chef," straight out the water!!

-Goddammit am I proud to be a Wellington!!

-But we can't do it? -No. -No.

Order up. Coming down.

I'll get this one. That'll be $8.50 please.

Suck it Martin!

-Right hand green. Right hand green

okay, lets go!

That was fun, right? We got twisted.

We're calling people everyday trying to expand on the Cape. We want to become

the In N' Out Burger of Cape Cod, but with fried fish.

Franchising and expanding in the area can be tricky.

But, with winning a championship, the

acclaim achieved... yeah. Will almost demand

six, seven, eight

-Maybe ten. -Nine, I'm getting there hold on. Nine

Ten Caped Cods, within a thirty mile area.

But we're having this party today to celebrate what we have, not what we're eventually going to have.

It's just that, you know, this is our baby.

And it's almost a teenager. And I just can't believe how much

we've all grown.

It's okay. She gets a little choked up.

Because we could never have any children. -Steve shoots blanks.

I do! But, I wanted to adopt.

We did adopt, a now twelve year old

caped money making machine.

We're very proud. Prouder probably than a real child, we would be.

This third summer in America, Cape Cod.

In Belarus, in my home country, I complete specialized secondary education

studies in Nutrition. And I hope

one day, maybe become, like, I don't know

successful multi-millionaire health guru. Why not, you know.

Of course here I work at super market stocking grocery

and at Happy Hooker. It's life. You know I keep

register perfect always and I am very much people person.

So anyway, I come here for summer to work, only.

And maybe get laid. But, I don't

want to win Golden Scallop for anything other than the bonus money we get.

That's it, you know? I don't like America, I think it's very fat

very rude, no offence. But, I do like the money

And hopefully when I get back to my home country

my village, I will be like a baller. You know what I mean man?

Okay, see you later!

-Thank you all for coming in this morning, we know you have very bu. -But rules are rules!

That's right Judge. Now shall we get down to business. (phone ringing)

Sorry I have to take this. It's a music therapy client. Wyatt can take notes?

Okay. So each competing restaurant will have three employees

per mock kitchen. There will be two cooks and one expeditor.

-No more no less! -Of course, of course.

Now I have taken the orders in advance and personally hand written all of them

all of them out. And they will be handed out randomly during the competition

so as to ensure as much fairness as possible.

-Okay, great. -Oh it's the best, Lindsay. Life isn't always fair.

Take for example poor Shawn Hunter in

"Boy Meets World." Born into a trailer park. Absentee mother.

Works his way through a difficult adolescence. Ends up taking all

the wisdom Mr. Matthews and George Feeney can give him.

Does quite well in college. Albeit not the greatest television in the later

years, but I cared for them.

-Are you paying attention Wyatt?! -Yeah, Topanga was hot.

-Besty Randle, she was Corey's mom. -Anyway, we just want to have a fun

and fair competition, one that not only lives up to the previous forty two years

but makes the 43rd annual Golden Scallop Championship the best

one yet. -So make sure your teams are motivated and ready to go.

Oh I will have them ready Judge, no worries.

I'm sure you will Lindsay.

Also, the Fisherman's Ball is the night before the competition, so make sure you have

your finest attire. -Oh, open bar? -Even better, all you can eat scallops.

-Wrapped in bacon? -Of course. -Ah, Steve will be so happy.

That's so Steve!

Can I get a drink order on six please? Here we go guys!

Don't get lazy back there, keep moving. Looking good Laura! Alright, here we go

six top walking in.

I have been here since I was sixteen years old. I went away for a bit to study architecture at Hobart

but my heart always remained here at the Caped Cod.

Cindy is like a mom to me, uh

well no, that would be weird. She's more like a

cool, older, attractive woman that never judged me on my age or experience

and has given me a great opportunity. We just, we're like...

you know? We just feed off each others energy, put out a great product.

Steve's great too. I like working for him.

We haven't seen a huge bump in business, so Wyatt's on promotions today.

Suck it Martin!!

With the Fisherman's Ball coming up, it's important we get practice actually talking to people.

Every customer is a friend you haven't met. Right baby bro?

Haha. (Claw)bbered!

Good idea, save your energy for the lunch rush. *Every Stranger's just a friend you

*haven't met. Waiting for the lunch rush on Monger's back deck.

Lindsay, you shut place down or what?

-No, no, no, no, no. -Look, I'm really sorry Linds, is it me? -No, relax guys.

Everything is fine. After talking to the Judge

today I just wanted to tell you a story. An inspirational one!

To get us ready for service today. -Quiet. Quiet!!

Go ahead Linds-O.

Some of you might know this, but

a couple years back, I was coming home from a bar, and

I maybe had one too many. I get pulled over

and I know that I'm going to get a DUI. I throw my keys outside my window

hop out of the car and then I chug the emergency pint of vodka that I keep

in the glove compartment, right infront of the cop. He can't tell if I was drunk, before when I was

driving or after. The only thing he could hit me up with was public intoxication.

-That's genius. -What?

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that

sometimes even when you mess up. You know like really, really, really

really mess up. You can make it better, by just going over the top with it.

You know? Own your mistakes. If you make a mistake, just own them.

And then find a way to leverage them to success. -I love it.

Yes Mikail.

Is DUI like the UTI?

-Why do you even know that word? -You don't want to know baby.

Hahaha.

So the plate bottom is covered in tartar sauce.

So everything on the plate is touching the tartar sauce.

And we call it, "Sea of White Plate."

-People love tartar sauce. I know I do. -Cherry, can you come over here for a second?

Rikki-tikki-tavi.

Every year, the girls and the rest of the staff, they get a little complacent

in the middle of the summer. And usually, I'll let Corey handle it.

But with the added pressure of the championship, I am going to have to resort to a tried

and true method, dating back to when I was the most popular girl in all of Harwich Middle School

public humiliation.

Girls listen up! This is how you are not suppossed to look

and act. Cherry here, and thank you for this, is a prime example

of what a loser at The Golden Scallop will look like.

Coincidentally, this is also what a young, poor, pregnant teen looks like, in case you were wondering.

Get out of my sight. Corey, go console her!

Not too much compassion, compassion's a weakness. Alright girls, get back to work.

Chest out, smiles up, capes back! Go, go, go, go.

Look I don't like doing it, I never have. But whether it's Peggy Andrews, in seventh grade social studies

flirting with the boy that I like or an innocent young girl in a cape

I'm going to do whatever it takes to get what I want. -Does she remind you of a bad war general?

Yes. Like, you are going through Russia

during winter. Do you want to mistreat your troops?

Napolean, Hitler, -----.

*Well we ain't got no customers

*but we got good fish and chip. And I'm thinking

*regardless of mood that positivity is hip.

*Oh cod fish, you're the loneliest

*Fiiiiissssshhhhh.

*Cod fish, you're the lonliest

*fish.

(humming)

*...liest fish

Cod fish

*you're the lonliest... Hey Wyatt, I think we got one!

52, 19, 220.

Haha. Undistractable, can't be messed up can you?

I'm just about done here. You, um

need anything? -Nope, just about done myself.

Just a couple days till the championship. Ahhhh! Hahaha.

Business has been pretty awesome, it's been great. Imagine if we win this thing

it would be Insane! -Yes, Seth, that would be insane.

I'm just gonna go home, I think. I'm gonna watch, "Honey"

that Jessica Alba dance movie, something like that.

Probably drink Barolo, my favorite red wine, just chill out.

Well that sounds fantastic.

You could come... you could come over

if you wanted to, just saying. Totally.

Yeah, actually that would be awesome.

I don't think I've done anything like that in forever.

Should we take seperate cars?

A girls night is really what I needed, and Seth is just the best.

He's like the gay uncle I never had. (Glass shattering)

-Oh my god, are you okay? -Now it's a party!!

-Do you want some help? -No, no, no, you stay right there.

I got lots of glasses.

Day before the championship and the Fisherman's Ball tonight. A million things to do

but I insisted on coming down here and checking on the staging.

I pulled in a few favors from my days on the bench, got some felons to build

a stage, part of a work crew. I don't know how that sits legally, but it's all in the name

of the Scallop. Wilson! Great progress you're making.

-Oh, Thank you sir, It's coming along nicely. -Are we going to be ready for tomorrow? -I don't see why not,

Well if that's the case, how about those modifications? You know the ones I emailed you?

Mitch told me to disregard all the emails the Judge sends, but this one

is just too good. "I was wondering if it wouldn't be too much trouble if you could

build the Judges booth to resemble the space time navigation system from Quantum Leap.

There will be some extra coin in it for you." Then he proceeds to send me a link

to a video of, "Quantum Leap," as if I don't know what he's talking about. Man I love me

some Scott Bakula! -Hey Boys.

-I know most of these boys. Yeah, I remember when you locked up Tommy.

-Yeah, he's a real bad one. -He's a wild one.

Dad, are you coming or what?

We have to leave in like fifteen minutes. -Oh, the Fisherman's Ball, right.

-Hey listen, I don't know if I'm going to make it this year. -What do you have to do?

I got to wax the floors, I got to re-arrange the ice box

-I got change the lint trap on the washing machine. -Dad, are you worried that people are going to ask you about mom?

No, no, no, of course not.

It's just, I got a ton of stuff I got to get done. You understand.

Have a good time without me.

-Just make sure that you're there tomorrow. -Of course.

Because I really need you to help. I've never cooked in one of these before and you have.

-So I need your help. -*Sing your problems out...

*Oh, just sing your problems out. This is really happening.

*Oh, you shouldn't be so nervous Wyatt. Shouldn't be so nervous Wyatt.

Shouldn't be so bervous, what do you mean? Everyone's going to hate us in there.

-*EVerybody already does hate us inside there, there's nothing else we can lose right?

That's true, everyone does hate us. Everyone does hate us.

If I sing my problems out, then everyone's going to hate us even more...

-*People couldn't hate us more! -Haha, that's true.

Help me out, lets do, *what's the worst that can happen Wyatt?

*What's the worst that could happen Wyatt? I got one.

*We could go in and they'd be like, hey there's those tourney wiz kids, no it's the despicable Martin's.

Oh no! Judge wellington

*mistook your face for a scallop and his creepy assistant date rapes me.

Right? Is that going to happen? Is it likely?

Not likely, only like a two percent chance.

Well let's not think about that and lets focus on what's the best that could happen.

-*What's the best that could happen Wyatt? -*So we walk into the Fisherman's Ball

*With our heads held up real, real tall. Everybody's clapping

*Nana's just napping and Cecil Martin's blood is all over the floor!

-*Whoa, what is dad doing? Blood. -*He's dead!

I do feel a lot better. Let's just go in there! You're right. What's the worst that could happen?

Kill dad!

Hello! So we're here at the Fisherman's Ball

and our entire Judging panel has arrived. Judge Wellington of course

celebrity food bligger, Sharon Jennings. The author of the wealthy palete.

And ahh our third...

to determine our third judge my Uncle went a little crazy with fan participation and

held a haiku poetry contest. The prompt was

"What does fried fish mean to you?"

And the winner was Bootstraps over there, local fisherman.

I'm just a little concerned, because Bootstraps isn't really the most

socially graceful. And he smells like dead seals.

We have a lot of seals on the cape and they've recently gone missing.

And I think he knows something about it.

Steve. Steve.

Do you see anything out of the

ordinary right now? -Now that you mention it.

Corey.

-Come here. -Come here? -Yeah, come here.

-There we go. There that's better. -Thank you.

-You ran a multi-million dollar company at some point? -Yeah.

One more, here I completed this last week.

These are amazing Seth. It's really good craftsmenship.

So, you take the dead

famous and you make into bear?

-Exactly, yeah. -Could you make one of my Landlord?

Well he's not famous Mikail, that's what Obitu-bears is about.

I think regular people would like to be memorialized by them too.

-They're sweet bears. Yeah, I see where you guys are going with this, I like that.

Yes, there are so many bears to make dead people out of.

That is a great idea, Russian boy.

Steve Williams. The prince of darkness here is onto something. WIth the right

marketing strategy, these could take off. -I think with the right artwork too

you could get them all over the internet. -That would be great, that's what I want to do. I want to have a whole online store.

No Seth, you make a bear of my landlord

like a voodoo bear, and then he die. Because he needs to.

-Hey a voodoo bear? No. Lindsay help me out here. -I'm gonna go get another drink

What are you writing?

-Just notes for my blog. -Judge Wellington. I just wanted to apologize

for missing the meeting the other day. -Oh, forget about that son, just glad to have you back in the competition.

-Oh, so good to be back. -Jake Martin was one of the best chefs I ever met.

What would you say your signature dish is Jake?

Positivity and friendship. Clams, lobster roll.. the whole thing is

just treating the fish gently as it goes into the batter and then

on the other end it just comes out golden brown. -Splendid! -I know where it was, your one of those

boys from the scandal I read about. -No, that was the father.

It's amazing these boys have the courage to cook up all that food knowing that everyone

despisises their namesake. -Thank you.

It's like when everyone hated Jack on the island, but he kept onwards, headstrong.

-Yes, but Locke was almost always right. -Oh, hodge podge, Jack was the

back bone of the show and the island. -I never got that show

What was the polar bear about?

Yeah, in the "Lost." Right?

The polar bear, the white polar bear.

I just didn't get that.

-You actually said that to him. Oh my god. -New York is like that, it's just so alive, you know

you can just do anything and it's exciting. Now I'm just this

little old fish lady. -One who is in the largest fried seafood

championship in the east. That's not too shabby. -I know but I don't even care

about it, I came back to help my dad and now it seems like he doesn't even care

so I don't even know what I'm doing here. I'm just bored, you know?

Well you're not boring.

Ah, thank you Rich.

I really think Lindsay and I are hitting it off.

And she seems like a pretty special girl.

-I haven't met your partner. This is Fernando my sous chef. -Fernando Misushef?

-You kill Lobster? -Yeah, I kill a lot of lobsters. Oh, my dad.

My dad poisoned lobsters, I still kill lobsters. -No bien.

-This is most boring party I've ever been to. -I don't know where she is, so you have to chill.

Well, thank you all for attending. I know you're

all very excited about tomorrow's contest.

I thought I'd like to introduce you to the other judges.

We have Miss Sharon Jennings who does some sort of writing thing.

And local fisherman and winner of the first annual

haiku for fried food contest, Bootstraps MacMahon.

Bootstraps, do you wanna come up here and read your haiku?

Thank you.

"Fried food,"

by Bootstraps MacMahon.

Darkness takes the sees

John succumbs to the waters

I need a fishwich Bootstraps

"Un-title,"

by Bootstraps MacMahon.

Innocent Oysters

The moon sees all your sins

My stomach forgives.

Bootstraps! (applause)

You look like hell, Mitch.

-Yes Judge. -A good time last night, huh?

-Yes Judge. -You know, the morning

of the championship is the best

So much promise, the air is full

of anticipation and excitement.

-Can you feel it Mitch? -Yes Judge.

I don't believe you, but you've done a good job so I'll let it slide.

In a few short hours, these tables will be full

and this stage will be flush with competitors and we, Mitch

we will crown a new Champion!

Yes!!

-I love you Judge. -I love you too.

Do you think I could be a Judge one day?

Maybe. Maybe not.

-Hello -Hey

-We are here to register for the Happy Hooker. -Great!

I have you down, Lindsay, as a cook and manager. Seth, as a cook

and your expeditor is Mikail Solvaka. -Solvanka.

Sol... yes. Okay, if you guys could just

sign this form here. It's just an insurance

thing in case the grease pops on your face and melts.

And I'll also need a valid drivers license from each of you, or in your case

a green card. And we're all fit to fry.

Lindsay, I no have green card. You know this

did you read the rules? -I don't read rules? -Well then fix it.

So, Mikail doesn't have either of those, he just

has a temporary visa. -It's J-1. -J-1?

Um, okay. I'm sorry guys but I think

I'm going to have to deport you.

Hahaha. No, I'm just joshing.

Most of my amigos are illegals anyway.

I will have Seth make a bear of you!!

They have to be dead before I make the bears.

I'm Peter Galixton, on location at the 43rd annual Golden Scallop Championship.

Now for all you newbies out there, lets go over the rules.

The best three seafood restaurants on the Cape, squaring off against each other

for culinary domination. Now all three restaurants will be cooking at the same time

to prove who is the best. With a turn out of around three hundred patrons

each team will be responsible for exactly one hundred orders.

Now each order has been hand crafted by the Judge himself, and will be released from

their proverbial pandoras box at the discretion of our wonderful expeditors.

Then, the audience fills out evaluation forms at the end and combined with the three juges scores

we get a champion!

Have we mentioned how happy we are to have you here at this event? It's truly amazing.

And I loved your piece on that small place in the east village with the best curry you've ever had.

Yeah, oh well if you're interested in Indian, Thai, Ecuadorian fusion, my friend is writing a blog

it's called TheNewBangChavez.com -Indian, Thai, Ecaudorian...

Sounds like my last three maids. Haha.

Hahaha. Ole!

These foodies, they really get to me.

Stuffy, pretentious. For all Boostraps faults

like his prdigious love of methamphetamine

like his prdigious love of methamphetamine, he still likes a good laugh

a hardy meal. -Alright, Steve, cut up some more orange slices for everyone.

-Do you have any grapes? -No, haha, Marcy you are so funny.

This is America, we eat oranges when we go into blood thirsty battle.

-Here Corey have one. -Hit me again.

Do you see what's going on right now?

Hydration, Marcel, hydration. You guys probably use water

which is why you lose so many Tour de Frances. In your own country.

Um, why would it bother me? My wife feeding

orange slices to a young man. It's not like they

got to Spain once a year. One year they went to Rio

another year they went to New Orleans and another to New York City.

And I am sitting here, in front of you, unbothered.

-*The Fishmonger. One of them is very somber. *Fishmonger.

-Somber is happy inside, calm and ready to compete. That's Wyatt.

I just need your third member to sign right here and we're all set.

-Nah, it's just the two of us. -We're orphans.

Well you're also adults and you need three people per team so...

-Having two people is more of a challenge than anything. -You're an adult

-I know -Both adults, we're all adults. This is great!

Alright guys, you're not going to make me look like a fool out there. You need three people to compete,

just go back to your place

and then grab a third, you won't be able to get on stage. -No, it is just the two of us. Since when do

you need three people to compete? -Those were the rules, we went over this in the meeting. Remember?

The Judge was very clear.

No, no. No. The Judge never went over anything like this

*in the meeting. Ooohhh.

*What's the worst that could happen, Wyatt?

-Do you need some water? -No, Mitch.

-*Mmhhscmmhmm -What?!

-You got pretty hammered last night. Hahaha. -Yes.

-Yeah I had a pretty crazy night. -Yeah? What'd you end up doing?

-Eat all the salsa out of your fridge or watch like, "Season of the? -No, no.

Nothing like that. I really can't tell you.

-Lindsay, you can tell me anything. -Yeah? -Mmhmm.

Okay, you know that guy who follows around Judge Wellington?

-Rich? -No, Mitch. -Motch, Mitch. Yes.

Yeah, we sort of um, you know.

Yeeaah.

-You guys hit is off? Have a couple drinks? -No.

-This. -After party?

-No, this, we did that. -You f k him?!

Yeah, oh my god, I'm such a whore.

-Am I a whore? -Hahahaha.

You're a dirty whore!! Like a DIRTY WHORE ! ! !

-You did that? Last night? Hahaha. -Yeah.

-It's so bad. -It is bad. -It,s bad. Yeah, yeah.

I'm so glad that I have you here, Seth. I feel like I can tell you anything.

-Dirty whore. Hahaha. -Oh good, it's good to say.

-It's good to tell somebody. -Yeah, it's good to call it like it is.

-Are you ready to go? -All good, ready to fry. -You ready to fry?

-I'll meet you out there. -Good, I feel so much better. Thank you for listening.

Heck, yeah.

Makes you wonder why I even started Obitu-bears.

Yeah so it's gotten to the point where we just have to run up to complete strangers.

And ask them to join the Fishmonger. Team Fishmonger!

But, you know, every stranger is a potential friend, so that's good. But right now they're all strangers!

-Right baby? Lets go! -Everyone hates us.

-Guys I really messed up and I need you guys to cook. -We could use the baby!

-Hoover! -We need one more competitor for the Golden Scallop.

-Suck it Martin!! -*Could one of you stand on stage and look delicious with us?

-Oh my god, you're so scared. -We won't harm you

*We're not going to do anything but have you be our teamate, for fr. -She's giving us weird eyes.

-I love you man. -I love you, too.

* (in the distance) I've been working on the railroad...

-Oh no, defnitely not. -DOUG!!!!!

-Doug! -Jake!!

-She's a great girl, huh? -Oh, the best.

Watch it.

Today we become champions. Now, Marcel, get that food out quick. Fe. -Si.

-Corey, just keep getting those plates out and looking cute. -You keep looking cute, Corey.

Okay, now I'm going to be in the coaches box, routing you guys on. Lets do this

as fast as possible. That means move it, Marcy. Go! Go! Go! Go!

(everyone chanting) Caped Cod, Caped Cod.

Jake, I'm pretty nervous over here. I think I should sing my problems out.

No! I mean, that only works once baby bro.

Hey, listen. We're in it to win it.

-If we don't no one's ever going to take this name seriously. -Yeah, but we're too slow.

-I mean we're just two men and a hobo. -That's the spirit! Hey, you know what?

You were right about dad. He wasn't the best man, but one thing he always said...

Wyatt, if you go down in the basement again when I'm working on my special project, I'll make sure that you can never fry again.

And? Quality over quickness.

That's the Martin way!

(feedback) Testing, one, um...

Welcome to the 43rd annual Golden Scallop Championship!

applause

Three months ago, you all bought your tickets and put your food orders in.

I'm sure your stomachs have been looking forward to it since then. I know I have.

applause

I love, nearly every restaurant on the Cape.

But I have to say, these three have taken

a very special part of my heart this year.

The Caped Cod.

The Fishmonger.

Booooooooo -Suck it Martin!!

And the Happy Hooker.

So, without further ado, let's binge eat!

applause

roaring applause

(Air Horn)

Clam strips, two lobster rolls and a platter.

Here we go. Three more clam rolls, two lob rolls, fries

and a seafood platter. -That is the order? -Yes. Why else would I ask you for it?

-I don't know, why would you? -Just cook the food, please.

-Less chatting, more cooking Marcy. -Marcy...

Okay I got two more fried clam strips with a lobster roll.

-I said two strips and a lob roll, call back Seth. -Lob roll.

Alright, Mikail, how are those drinks coming?

-Keep pushing okay, it's going to get tougher. -(mocking) It's gonna get tougher Mikail.

We're down on the floor with Jake Martin.

Co-owner and head chef of the Fishmonger, who apparently is ambidextrous.

-Jake, where did you develop that amazing technique? -Oh, you know, just something you

pick up out of necessity, at the Fishmonger... -Certainly is necessary with what is

going on in this kitchen. With one squirly looking expeditor.

-That's my brother, Wyatt! -And what appears to be a passed out vagrant on the floor.

-Jake Martin, former culinary wiz kid, is doing it all. -Hi dad.

Are you really going to eat everything on every plate that's given to you?

Absolutely. Bootstrap even eats the lemon rind.

-Throw on some more hot dog rolls so they are ready for the lob rol. -No!

Then the toasting will not be fresh. Is that what we want?

-And why did you already pour that many drinks? -So I can just throw them on the tray when the order comes in.

But, the soda will get flat. Do you want to drink flat soda?!

Carbination is my department! This is how we're doing it.

-Keep it rolling! -El rollo, Fernando.

Great start guys. Mikail, you just keep pushing those drink orders

and I'll yell out the tickets. And Seth, keep cooking like you've been cooking all day. You're doing awesome.

-Yeah, maybe we could get Mitch down here to coook instead, huh? Th. -What?

Guys, I'm just saying, it's about to get real hairy. So, just take it easy guys.

Come on Lindsay, pull it together!

Mitch, we are nothing if we don't have our objectivity.

No. Lindsay?!

You sly, old dog, I never thought you had it in you.

Neither did I. -Hahaha. (cough)

-I'm okay. -John!!

Boom! Oh that was beautiful.

What did you guys think of this last plate from the Caped Cod?

Yeah, I agree with Bootstraps, that the crispiness of the clams just wasn't there.

Soggy. -Delicious, that was delicious.

Ah, Wellington, you're such a sweet man, but the problem is you just like all food.

-I bet you if they fried baloney you would eat it. -Well of course I would, that's great stuff!

-Mmm, baloney! -Yeah.

Only one more order remains and from what I'm hearing, The Caped Cod has a chance

to break the all time record for speed. At forty-eight minutes, they're close to putting out

one hundred plates. I mean, just look at Marcel go. Look at the way he's

breading that fish. It's like the batter is adhering to every flick of his French wrist.

Marcel, do you think you can do it? Do you?

If you treat the fish well, they treat you with equal respect. Do you know what I mean?

Respecting fish, my kind of man. And Corey has just put out the last drink orders

-Oh, the symmetry! -Alright guys, one more order of fish and chips and we are out.

-Fernando, get those fries on a plate. Lets go! -Is it possible? Can they do it?

Time is running out.

-Done. -Amazing! Amazing! They did it!

The record at the Golden Scallop Championship has been shattered.

Move over in the history books Salty Salmon, you've just been beat by

the Secretariat of fried fish!

I can't believe how well it went, we cooked so fast.

And Corey looked good. Right? Wearing the cape. Right?

Oh Steve, I'm so excited right now I could practically kiss you.

Well lets get crazy baby.

Not too crazy.

How we doing, Wyatt?

-I think we're too slow. -Let the food do the talking baby bro.

The Caped Cod is out already? Shit, how is that possible?

-Probably because they weren't out all n -Mikail, you need to put tartar sauce with the clams, not cocktail sauce.

-The tartar is gross, so much mayo make them fat. -Tartar with clams!

-Seth, do you need an all day? -Not from the girl that just pulled an all-nighter.

Seth, what the hell is your problem? You need to get your head in the game. You're behind two onion rings, of course

and I need a lobster roll, and also I need fries on all these plate. -Okay guys, we need one platter

small clams and extra calamari, lets go. -Another platter? Jesus, who made this order?

-Probably your boyfriend who ordered that one. -He isn't my boyfriend

and why do you even care? What, do you not approve Seth? -Clams! -Tartar, Mikail!

No, the clams burn!

I can't even serve this shit!

They're falling apart out there.

I know, they are just so unorganized. I don't know how they got into this contest.

Championship. They were all time favorites, Lindsay's been running a great kitchen

for her father earlier this summer. -Well the tickets are piling up and that food looks

more bland than I thought possible.

*Let the food do the talking, Wyatt.

*Let the food do the talking, Wyatt.

Come on brother love! Bring it home baby, bring it home.

-Yeaaahhh!

-It went amazing, I can't believe Jake cooked so well, he cooked hi. -Wyatt got every single order right.

-I think the food might be good enough. -And it was really amazing to see

someone as worthless as Doug prove just how ineffective he could be. -Doug!

-Shut the lights, they're coming in the back door! -Fishmonger!!

Great job Fishmonger. Now the only competitor left, is the Happy Hooker.

This is good, the Fishmonger beat us too, so they're done.

You got a couple criminals and a derelict, this is great. Good job there.

-Lindsay, we need to slow down. This is too many tickets. -No, if you can't handle it then why don't you just walk.

It's not like you're doing anything anyway.

Tension has reached an unbelievable level in the Happy Hooker kitchen.

When there are knives, hot grease and an almost

impenetrable language barrier, you have to assume the worst.

What's this? Another man is walking on stage. This is surely illegal and very exciting.

-Stop! Stop! Stop! -Only three in the kitchen Buzz.

You know the rules. You'll get yourself disqualified!

Seth! Stand up and start cooking, or I'm going to personally dismantle every

single bear you've ever made. Mikail! Take a deep breath son.

Just put what's on the ticket, on the plate, or I'm putting you on

the next plane out of here. Lindsay, sweetie, I love you but you're doing a shitty job.

Now there's no crying in my kitchen. Lets finish up these tickets folks!

But dad, were going to get disqualified if you come on stage.

And you're never going to finish if I don't. And if there's one thing the O'Hara's have never done

it's to leave a customer hungry! Now get back to that line.

We're about to do some serious weed whacking!!

I learned that as owner and most senior member of the Happy Hooker, what a tremendous diservice I was

doing my daughter by not criticizing her properly. -It's like I got my old dad back.

You know, the mean, tough guy I grew up idolizing.

-You guys sucked today. -I know we got disqualified, but we did serve every customer.

-And we served them well. -And we couldn't have done it without you.

-I know, you guys sucked. -It's great to have him back.

I knew the O'Hara's would never stop serving you fine people, even if they were disqualified.

Sadly this ends the competition.

Eat slowly and fill out your scoring cards, so we can crown

a new champion! -Eat slowly, Judge?

Move over Michael Phelps, the Caped Cod has taken the reigns. We're here with owners

Cindy and Steve Williams. Guys, what do you have to say?

-We had faith in our kitchen and they moved fast, so as long as the. -Oh the food was great!

The food was great. I mean, it was golden brown perfection. I am just so proud of all these boys.

-I can't imagine us losing this thing.

Not with how much it means to Cindy and Steve. The food wasn't perfect, but

we were so efficient out there, you know? You saw us.

It's just such a shame that chef Marcel has such a hard time obeying Cindy and Steve.

But sooner or later he'll find out, you just have to do whatever they ask you.

Whatever they ask you.

-When I see the Buzz coming through the window, I was like yes the ! -I know, you love him.

-You were fantastic out there Linds. -Oh! -Lindsay.

-I need to talk to you for a second. -Yeah, sure.

You know that green card thing you should really look into, because it's super illegal.

Listen I know they're announcing the scores in

a few minutes, but I just need to tell you something.

Oh no, no, no. Please stop right there. I should say something to you first.

I think you did a great job. I'd love to have you stay in my country.

-Or in your country, yeah? -Well, I am a citizen. -I live here three summers.

-Okay, nine months, that's not... -I know this country like back of hand. -Oh.

I'm so sorry about what I did and how I told you.

-Really? -Yeah, of course. I mean it wasn't

fair with the way that you feel about me. And you know, honestly

Mitch is totally creeping me out, so you're totally rescuing me right now.

-He is a total creep. -Yeah, he does kind of have that effect.

I just need you to know how I feel about you, no matter what.

Yeah, Seth of course I know, you're like

my best friend or like an uncle, you know? You're like crazy Uncle Seth with the bears.

Don't be so stressed, it's okay.

You're so silly. Oh, hold on a second. Hey Jake!

You know the most dangerous animal in the jungle is a leopard.

Because it comes... you're not expecting it.

So. It's the one that you don't expect, but it's the one that wins.

-Hey, Mitch? -Yeah.

Doesn't get easier buddy. One night.

-One night. -One night more than you.

-So you have never really watched Mork and Mindy. -No.

So how do you know you don't like it?

Okay, honestly, Robin Williams is a little hairy, and it kind of creeps me out.

-No offense, Bootstraps. -Your closed mindedness amazes me.

An alien forms an unbreakable friendship with a twenty-one year old girl.

Zaniness ensues. I mean that is good television!

The Judge can be a bit overwhelming.

But I thought the food was actually amazing

and the whole spectical was just a delight.

It was nice to see a small town community rally around the food like that.

-Will you be back next year? -No, absolutely not.

The 43rd annual Golden Scallop Championship is now closed.

And I am full, I mean ridiculously full.

After difficult deliberation and precise calculation

of the fan ballot, we have a champion.

In third place, with a DQ, comes the Happy Hooker.

It has to be noted, they fought

valiantly and everyone got fed. And in first place

we had one of the closest races in Golden Scallop history.

With an amazing sixty-eight points

out of seventy for taste. And pulling it out

by just half a point.

The Fishmonger wins!

What a day. What a championship!

Oh, uh, that was pretty fun

but now I go to grocery store to work all night.

So, see you guys later. Bye, bye.

Okay, here it comes.

There we go, Judge.

Well it's been tough. I've had to take a semester off from school

just to take care of him. His doctor says that his cholesterol

is higher than any patient he's ever had.

Which is concerning.

Lindsay put a restraining order on me. So, there's that.

I'm not a criminal.

Well at first we were devastated

-I fired everyone, I even tried to fire Steve. -She did, for realz.

But then a couple months after the championship we received the most

unbelievable news.

We have our little own scallop in the oven. The batter stuck!

We're going to name him Cornelius after or favorite manager and father.

-Godfather. -He's going to be the best godfather ever.

Look at this guy, you kinding me? Come here.

The Caped Cod is going to have a little baby brother, but don't worry we're going to be back on top.

And I think that we're ready for another shot at the championship.

We're going to do this and this little guy's going to be on board the whole time.

And I bet it'll look just like you, Steve. Bald, you know, no hair.

That's how babies look, Corey. This guy. This guy!

Thanks to an angel investor, who wishes to remain nameless, not faceless.

Our investor got me thinking about the bigger picture. Which is why just celebrities?

SO now when you have a loved one, like if you had a kid or a wife

just send a picture and a brief description and let the berieved be

bear-reived. -We're selling... -Ah, take the ball.

We're selling a whole ton of bears, which is great.

I've been drawing more pictures than ever, and Seth has been able to make a ton of them.

That's right, Wyatt. We're doing amazing. We keep selling bears at this rate

I'm going to be able to buy a second home, or pay off Lindsay's college debt

I don't know, something crazy, who knows.

-Stop, Wyatt. Stop it. -I'm sorry.

Don't go there. We're just playing, we're just coming up with ideas man.

After we saw how good Jake was in the kitchen we knew we had to have him here.

Yup, he's just like a young Buzz, only with fruity singing. Nobodies perfect.

It's really great to be part of a reputable restaurant again, and I really feel like

I'm starting to get the Martin name back out there in the community and restore it to glory.

-I'm as happy as ever. -Hold that basket straight Lindsay!

-Goddammit hold that basket straight! -I'm holding it as straight as I can! -Don't talk back.

Since the championship, my dad has been much more hands on.

-The Buzz is back. -Yeah, I can't believe I ever quit yelling at you guys.

-You know it's amazing how much better people do when you give them. -You're gonna give us the business?

Well, it's a bit much sometimes, but it's definitely better than before.

Lindsay, quit being such a wuss. You're gonna win that scallop this year!

Hit it son! -*The Golden Scallop will be hooked

*by the happiest of cooks, that's us, at the Happy Hooker.

*with our griddles and wits, we're gonna turn some tricks. Buzz in!

*to the Happy Hooker. We'll win at the Happy Hooker.

-I mean I think it's better. -*We'll win!

*at the Happy Hooker. We'll win at the Happy Hooker.

*We'll win at the Happy Hooker.

There has been speculation whether I will be ready for

the championship this summer.

So, to those people who doubt

that I will be at the judges table, at the competition this year.

I can only offer this.

Hahahaha

Oh boy!!

Does it bother me that my wife, so he won't die, one of our employees?

Our manager? Um, no.

If he were choking to death, would it bother me that she

was trying to get the food out of his mouth

with her tongue? Because that happened once. He's still here.

Two sounds, Seth. The sound of my fists hitting your face and the sound of, my, your gonna...

I'm noisy when I fight. -Mitch, let me save you the trouble, okay?

That's what I thought.

High Tide, by Bootstraps MacMohon.

Baskets are submerged

Like daddy was at his last

I'll take two orders.

-Bootstraps

I'm just saying, Obitu-bears is a simple way to clue in. Why were they celebrities?

Why do we care about them? Why do we remember, even after they're dead?

We all had something like a teddy bear when we were kids. But when you get to combine the teddy bear

with a dead celebrity, someone who's done something, in a, you know...

I lost my train of thought there. It happens.

Happened to this guy too, I'm sure.