Original subtitles

Two lives, I live because.

THE MORALIST

Two voices, I hear inside me. THE MORALIST

if I talk about ideals, if I talk about virtue, don't believe me.

They're lies, words and nothing more.

Don't trust me for I'll deceive you.

Moralist, can you say what morality is?

A fairy tale for the simple man, but it's not for me.

I polemicize,

I stigmatize,

and condemn the whole world. Oh, what an outrage!

Don't trust me for I'll deceive you.

Moralist, can you say what morality is?

A lie for the simple man, but it's not for me.

No no, no no, no no, it's not for me!

That's not nice!

You can't do that.

It's not right! This won't do! Where's morality?

Don't trust me for I'll deceive you.

Moralist, can you say what morality is?

A lie for the simple man, but it's not for me.

No no, no no, no no, it's not for me!

Out! Move along! We're closing! - Don't push!

Come on!

Have you got an arrest warrant? - What warrant?

Then what do you want? - Go home and study!

Why don't you arrest us? - Don't be funny! Just leave!

Unbelievable! - Watch it!

Are you locking me in? - What were you doing in there?

What would I be doing? Playing foosball.

What scandal led you to close my club?

I don't know and don't need to. - But you saw them.

They were just kids playing foosball and the jukebox.

Even that guy who just left? - I don't see everybody who comes in.

Damn this jukebox!

Sorry, Captain. - No matter.

I pay 220,000 lire in taxes every two months,

the club's just been renovated, I'm drowning in promissory notes,

if you shut me down, what will I do? - Sorry, just following orders.

Can I at least know the reason why?

If you must know, over 3,000 mothers signed a petition against your club.

You understand? - 3000 mothers against me? No, it can't be!

Where are you going? - She's all I needed! Come on in!

I'm the owner's wife! - Alright.

Giovanni, what's going on? - 3000 mothers against us is going on!

Is the lady your wife? - Yes.

Show me your ID.

We're not married but we've lived together for years. It's as if we were.

What's this thing about the 3000 mothers?

I'd like to know too. Who collected those signatures?

The Organization for Public Morality. - What?

The General Secretary, Dr Menegotti, came here and gave his approval.

Dr Menegotti's gone back to France. He's been replaced.

By whom? - By another General Secretary.

And what's he like? - Reasonable?

I don't know him but since he arrived, I don't sleep anymore.

He gives me lots of headaches.

Sorry, but please follow me for further clarifications.

For the high honor bestowed on me,

surely, I am not worthy.

"Non sum dignus."

Yet, though my person is modest, far from modest is the fervor

that transforms the office recently conferred on me of General Secretary

of the International Organization for Public Morality, Italian section,

into an incorruptible torch

that fears no tempest but rather provokes it!

Friends,

someone dared throw�

Is this speech going to be long? - He's been speaking almost an hour.

May we talk to the president? - He's inside too.

But it'd be a waste of time. The General Secretary does all here.

When Dr Menegotti was here though� - Yes, it was different.

I wouldn't want him to leave after his speech without seeing us.

No. As soon as the ceremony's over, he'll go back to work.

He's the kind, dear Sirs,

that you can't joke with. The first to leave, the last to go!

Let us not be surprised in our sleep!

If you want to win a battle,

you must know your enemy and not underestimate him!

Do you know who this enemy is?

It's a many-sided monster!

The octopus with 1000 tentacles!

And it's called�

Don't listen, they're just catchphrases to dazzle the audience.

It'll be different when we talk to him in private.

I've met many of his kind.

Or is it fashion which indulges in making even more provocative

the feminine form?

Good day, Baroness. - May we speak to the General Secretary?

Yes, your visit has been announced.

He told me to show you in right after his speech.

Thank you.

Thank you all! - Congratulations.

The party's over!

Let's get back to work!

Let's not forget the duties of our mission! Thank you.

Thank you.

Hurrah for the new secretary! - And thank you. Silence!

Another "bravo" for our Agostino!

Where is he? - He went straight back to work.

He's asked for complete silence.

Has he? Alright, let's do as he asks. Let's obey.

Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Goodbye. - Goodbye, President.

Let them in. - Yes, General Secretary Sir.

Please, Baroness, you may go in.

Good day, Secretary Sir. - My dears, come right in.

You're members of the Commission for the Campaign against Hula-Hoops.

Correct? - No, Mr Secretary, I am part of that commission too,

but our main concern, at the moment is the withdrawal of posters.

Look at this. Nothing gets past me.

The poster's already on the agenda but we must be pragmatic, concrete.

What have we done that's concrete?

We've collected 3800 signatures against the poster.

Lemme see. - They're all mothers and fathers.

Good, this document is very important

for me to start negotiating directly with the highest protecting authorities

for the banning of the film. Bravo! Thank you.

But we must try to obtain, if possible, 5000 signatures!

We can do that surely. - Thank you. Goodbye.

Baroness, intensify the fight against hula-hoops by any means necessary!

Leave it to us. - Thank you! Bravo! Goodbye!

Come, Miss, come forward! Hurry!

Good day, Eleonora.

How's your grandma? - Not bad, thanks. - Write, please.

Note on films, the IOPM organization.

Come in!

Good day, friends. - Good day.

Excuse me, I'm dictating the bulletin of our organization.

I'll be right with you. - Please.

Ready?

"Flesh and the Devil": obscene and sinful.

"A Bullet for Joey": dumb and violent.

"A Naked Woman". For God's sake! - Have you seen it, Sir?

No need to see it. Continue! Repugnant and troubling.

"The Prima Donna": absurd and contentious.

"Lassie, Come Home": highly educational.

"Sylvester's Story", "Mickey Mouse": idem as above.

Send it straight off to print, Eleonora.

Are you looking at them? - Yes.

Interesting, aren't they? - Very. - I had them made.

It reports on worldwide morality.

This one shows us the shocking spread of the strip-tease, spogliarello,

in America and Europe.

Terrifying numbers of daughters of Eve undressing in public.

Unfortunately, we can't control them in private. - Unfortunately, Sir!

This one concerns the increase of advertising through sex.

A mouth using toothpaste triggers unwholesome thoughts.- Certainly.

Not to mention bathing suits, bras, garters

and other devices we call "hygienic". - "Hygienic", he says!

Will you come this way?

This one shows the striking and significant synthesis of wantonness

going wild through dances like rock'n'roll and cha-cha-cha, etc.

How may I help you? I don't know you as I've only just taken office.

It's about your opinion on this poster.

Please take a seat. - Thank you.

I'm listening.

A cigarette? - Thank you.

May I? - No!

I'm at your disposal. Yes?

We wouldn't want to end up like the Flores firm,

with mothers interfering and having us remove the poster.

But I'm here to advise and not to obstruct. - Thank you.

This is the poster.

What product is it about?

A beauty cream.

Forgive my ignorance but�

Where is this cream to be spread?

On the face, Secretary Sir. - On the neck.

Then why have you left the navel uncovered?

It's obvious. To attract some attention, no?

It's all fine for me but the navel goes.

What? - Cover the navel.

But we'll have to do it all over: posters, tubes, jars�

Millions and millions of lire!

You asked for advice and I gave it.

I say cover the navel. I'm no authority on the rest.

Look, your predecessor, Dr Menegotti, liked the draft with the navel.

I'm surprised Dr Menegotti liked the navel.

Secretary Sir, we always came to an agreement with Dr Menegotti.

Our firm has already paid him a small tribute.

To Dr Menegotti? - Yes.

In fact, for definitive approval,

our administration allows itself to�

300,000.

This is for Dr Menegotti but he was transferred abroad.

I have his post now.

Alright, then you take them.

300,000!

Menegotti took 300,000, so you take 300,000,

so the poster will be approved and all's well!

Would you testify before a judge that Dr Menegotti took 300,000 lire?

Testify? Why?

But� no�

don't pay any mind to what we just said.

And besides, there's no proof! - Right.

No proof?

�then you take them. - 300,000!

Menegotti took 300,000, so you take 300,000,

so the poster will be approved�

But my dear friends, all's not well.

If you have your poster put up, I'll have my tape listened to.

I cut straight down my path like a sword!

You don't want to get us all into trouble?

Before the nobility of my mission, I wouldn't acknowledge even a brother.

But, Secretary Sir, you have to move with the times.

Shall we make it 500,000? - Shall I call the police?

We dare hope you'll think it over.

We'll still have the posters put up.

I'll be glad to see them. Best of luck to your firm!

Let the next one in. - Yes, Doctor. Show the lady in.

Ma'am, this way, please. - It's unbelievable!

May I come in?

Please do.

Congratulations on your film, a masterful performance.

But you were so cruel.

Why are you against my film?

I'm not. I only advised against it.

Why on earth does a young man like you, modern, pleasant,

advise against a scene that has nothing wrong with it?

Slow down! Nothing? There's a lot.

Will you allow me to replay the scene? - Yes!

I'm in my room. - Yes.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed�

and look intensely at Giorgio, whom I love.

Yes.

But Giorgio is a cold boy, rather shy.

So, to stir him, I use my womanly weapons.

I pull up my skirt a bit. - Yes.

Yet, as Giorgio's still not stirred�

I get closer.

I put my hands on his shoulders,

I half-close my eyes�

and invite him to kiss me. - Let's skip the kiss and continue.

I lie down on the bed. - Yes!

Like this.

He comes closer,

embraces me passionately,

he kisses me.

Yes.

With his hand, he unzips my dress.

Nice! You think that's nothing?

As my shoulders get exposed the image fades, the scene ends.

I admit that intercourse isn't shown,

yet the next scene shows a baby in a cradle.

So, Miss, what happened between you and Giorgio during the fade-out?

Excuse me, but it's my first film.

My entire career depends on it.

If they withdraw it from circulation�

I'm not very talented as an actress. But Mother Nature�

has gifted me with a certain body.

If you strike me there, what shall I do?

Enroll in acting school.

Study.

Complete yourself with studies and I'll wish you the best for your career.

Well done! - Agostino! Can you come?

The president's calling me. Enroll in acting school.

Encore!

Here I am, President Sir.

Didn't we say half way up the calf?

That's what I suggested to the ballet costume designer.

Literally "mid-calf". In fact, I said up to here.

A hand's width below the knee.

There's been a misunderstanding, I meant a hand's width above the knee.

Then, if you don't mind, the correct term was "mid-thigh".

Didn't I say mid-thigh? - No, calf.

How strange, Sometimes, I think I said something�

And you said something else? - Right.

I'm worried about the speech which I need to improvise

at the Munich Congress. - May I, President Sir?

I stayed up to 3 last night, preparing your speech for Munich.

A perfect beginning! - Shall we go through it together?

No need, I trust you more than myself.

I tied a knot in this handkerchief this morning�

And you don't know why? - No.

4:45 at the Ciampino Airport?

Am I to greet some celebrity?

Your daughter, President Sir. - My little girl!

Virginia! Do you know her?

From a photo, in her piccola italiana uniform, that tall.

She hasn't grown much since. Have you ever met her in person?

How could I? She's always lived abroad. - Yes, that's right.

Let me show you the last picture of her in London.

I'd love that, President Sir.

Beautiful!

You think she's beautiful? - Marvelous, beautiful, healthy, curvy!

But the neckline� Is this the fashion in England?

That's not my daughter. - Yes, I thought so�

Who is she? - A poor girl. A sad case, I take care of personally.

I see, President Sir.

This is my little doll. Here.

A different kind of beauty: more spiritual, lively, sincere eyes.

Lucky is the man who'll marry her. - You've hit the nail on the head.

Virginia is 29 years old and still hasn't found love.

She'll find a young man who'll arouse in her

those feelings which are the basis for marriage.

Haven't you ever considered marriage? - Yes, but it isn't easy.

Like young girls, a young man who wants to found a family

is afraid of modern immorality. Do you think I'm wrong?

I want you to meet my daughter. - I never dared ask, President.

Why don't you come for dinner tomorrow? We'll celebrate her return.

Too great an honor. That's why I never asked.

It'll be a pleasure, Agostino.

What time do you dine? - At 9.

I'll be on time, President Sir.

See you tomorrow. - At 9, President Sir.

Jimmy and I were caught in the fog in the Scottish highlands.

We found a refuge: a small, very comfortable chalet

with just one room and one bed.

Obviously, we slept together. - In the same bed?

Yes, in the same bed. Why? Are you surprised?

Surprised? I'm shocked. You must tell me everything now.

What happened? - Nothing!

That's impossible! In a chalet lost in the woods, at night?

In the same room, in the same bed and nothing happened?

President, he was an Englishman.

The English are gentlemen even up to that point?

They master themselves.

They're trained to self-control since childhood.

Actually, during the six years I stayed in England,

alone in the streets of London or the country, in my bikini by the pool,

you won't believe it but no-one ever turned round to look at me.

Oh, I believe it.

My boy, there's much work to do respecting this in our country.

The statistics are terrifying.

Here, when I'm walking in the street,

I feel assaulted by the looks I get.

Penetrating looks that undress you!

It feels like walking around naked.

It must be awful for a lady to feel continuously assaulted.

No, I don't mind at all.

Whiskey? - No, thanks, I don't drink alcohol.

Ah, you don't drink alcohol.

Some orange soda then?

No thanks. Orange at night is like lead.

Why do you wear your hair so high? - A fright when I was a child.

Really?

Nonsense, I'm joking.

Mother was a blonde?

How did you know?

Big blue eyes! - Thank you.

Do you know�

I'd be scared to find myself all alone with you in a bedroom?

A totally absurd hypothesis.

Excuse me, Miss, I've never been in a bedroom with a woman.

And never will before marriage. Do I not do well to do so?

Well�

Virginia, I'm really bothered with the things you said.

What's wrong with what I said? - What didn't you say? Silly jests!

And what's more in front of Agostino. - He didn't seem shocked.

That's because he's polite, but I know what he thought of you and I'm sorry.

A girl can't easily find a man like him.

Thank God, Papa. - An incorruptible, tireless worker!

Did you hear where he was going? Back to work with his secretary.

I don't care, Papa. It's a matter of feeling for me.

Feelings or not, all I want is to leave you in the hands of a gentleman.

And I'm sure I'm not wrong about Agostino.

Very well, Papa, I'll try to please you.

But with separate bedrooms.

And that hair!

We'll comb it, dear. - Thanks, Daddy.

Listen, I've been coming to this waiting room for days

and I still haven't seen the General Secretary!

Should I knock down the door? - I've been ordered not to let you in.

Legs and arms.

Hello, this is the IOPM General Secretary. Who's speaking?

It's me, Virginia.

My dear Miss Virginia, if you knew how delightful it was to hear your voice

while I'm here, drowning in work.

It was my duty to thank you for the beautiful flowers.

You're welcome, my duty. A welcome token from an old friend.

It was very kind of you. - I don't know if you like tulips.

I prefer them to other flowers,

for in their color you can contemplate the beauty of nature

without the risk of being stunned by their perfume.

Yes, that's true.

They're very ornamental.

Listen, Doctor�

Yes? - Papa told me to phone.

Has the president any orders for me?

Just to set something up for tonight. I'm bored and I don't know anyone.

If you knew somebody else, would you have called me?

For heaven's sake, Doctor. It's that�

not knowing a soul, I must ask you to dedicate some of your precious time.

I'll be glad to dedicate it to you. I'm at your orders. I'm yours.

What shall we do then? - I don't know.

I'm in your hands.

You're taking a big risk then. Shall we go to the cinema?

Why not? There's lots of nice films I didn't see in London.

We'll choose a suitable one for you.

I'll pick you up at 9.

Perfect. Agreed. Pardon me for disturbing you.

The sound of your voice is always a pleasure for me. See you later.

The mail to sign, General Secretary. - Eleonora,

find me the complete film schedule. We're going to the cinema.

Look, there's no point in talking to the president about it.

The General Secretary decides here. - Then announce me.

General Secretary, the foosball man's here again.

Tell him my name! - Let him in.

This way please. - Thank you.

Here's the film schedule.

"Cinderella", "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea�"

Come in!

Thank you. May I? - Yes?

Here, I've found it:

"Move and I'll Shoot." Have a seat. - Thank you.

Yes?

Forgive me, but I think we've already met somewhere.

It's possible.

I receive lots of people.

No, let me think. Weren't you in Lugano in 1949?

I've never been to Switzerland.

The purpose of your visit?

Allow me a question. Have you ever met a certain Wanda the Lady Captain,

who lived with Pippo�

I don't know any Wanda the Lady Captain, let alone this Pippo.

Yet I can assure you that you�

maybe a long time ago, but we've met before.

And maybe we were friends too.

Look, don't try to schmooze me.

If you're here about your club, nothing can be done about it.

No, I said it because I'm sure of it.

But why are you picking on my club?

I'm not the one picking on it. Do you mind?

10,000 mothers signed against your club.

But somebody must've stirred them up.

Couldn't you intervene?

Go up against mothers? May I?

You're naive. - Why are they against my club,

when so many others are sleazy? - Really?

Certainly, sleazy! - Give me their names.

Why should I tell on my competitors?

If you want me get involved, then point them out.

Well then? - Then write. White Kat.

White Kat.

Taberna.

Taberna. - Keep writing. The Tivoli.

Tivoli.

The Lobster.

The Lobster.

Banana Boat.

Banana Boat.

What's wrong with these clubs?

Everybody knows. Just look at the sign: stripping.

And much, much more!

Dr Salvi's here. - Good evening, Miss.

Is the President inside watching TV?

Papa's out. He had a meeting.

Meeting? Strange, I organize them for him.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Today's Wednesday: no meetings.

He must've told a small lie to leave us alone.

Please sit. - Thanks.

Do you still need me, Miss? - No, you may go.

Your sister's arriving tonight? - Yes, thank you.

Good evening, Miss. Good evening, Doctor.

What's he doing? Is he leaving? - No, he's off to the station.

Just an excuse not to do any work.

Maybe he understood too, that we wanted to be alone.

In that case it would be my duty to leave.

You know, you have antediluvian ideas.

I often let my boyfriend into my room when I was in England,

Even after 3 am. We had a little scotch together.

Nothing bad ever happened.

That's hardly surprising: The English are very frigid.

It's a matter of self-control. - Up to a certain point.

The fire, a Sinatra record, an extra drop of whiskey�

One can lose control.

Lucky for me, I don't like whiskey, let alone American songs.

Do you always judge pleasures so harshly?

I always avoid the things that annoy me.

But you must have a drop of whiskey this evening.

Just a drop to make you happy.

How do you feel now? - Exactly as before.

What shall we do?

Shall we go to the cinema and have some fun?

I'd prefer this slow dance.

You have a sense of rhythm.

Papa used to play the bass.

A family of artists.

Papa used to play in nightclubs.

I spent my childhood in tabarin.

That's why I abhor certain places.

And I've decided to fight them up to the end.

I'm beginning to understand you. - I was 6 when I lost mama.

She left home with a magician and went to Santa Fe.

You dance the Charleston splendidly! Where did you learn?

When I was a child, I told you my father played the bass.

This gives me the idea for a wonderful little program.

Come!

Slowly. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Look at what these Japanese put on the market.

A naked Japanese woman!

Importing such vehicles of corruption should be prohibited.

Young people could come upon them. - Lemme see!

If these pictures trouble me, just imagine teenagers.

Lemme see!

Did you need me for something?

I'd like to talk about your daughter. - You've turned her head.

I'd rather not see her again. - Why?

Because, forgive my frankness,

it's me who's getting too fond of her.

So what's the problem?

You should nurture this feeling.

No, President Sir, I've never loved in my life.

And I feel that if I get too attached, the day that Virginia rejects me,

will be my last. - Reject you? Why?

Because I'm not worthy.

I'm not worthy of her. I'm not good enough. I come from humble parents.

Papa used to play the bass.

President Sir, I know�

I know I'll end my days within these four walls, forgotten for life.

You're right.

Your words make me think.

You deserve much more and I must help you out of anonymity.

No, Sir, I want to remain the obscure executor of your orders.

Do you love Virginia? - I feel I can't renounce her.

Then your duty is to shine, to make your way!

And I must help you climb the ladder of success!

As for me, I ask nothing from life. But if it's for Virginia, I gladly accept.

Do you know what? You push me and I'll try my best to make my way!

Can I come to the Congress in Munich? - No, you can't.

You'll go by yourself!

To represent our country? - Yes!

You'll do my speech instead. - Will the TV be there too?

Certainly! Eurovision.

That's how you'll get known. - And what will you do?

I'll go to Montecatini, for my cure.

And I'll give way to you: the young.

To you�

and my Virginia!

All I do, I do for you, President Sir.

Can I call you "papa"?

Come on! Be good! Don't get carried away!

DEPARTURES

Hello, I'm awaited by the eminent actress Vera Serni.

Come in.

What an honor! I'm confused and moved, your excellency.

No, I'm no excellency. - What? Aren't you an excellency?

Astounding! - I'm neither a minister nor a prefect,

but the simple president of a private institution. - Private but very important.

Our organization has great moral authority.

It can make mandates. - I know, unfortunately.

But you've been so kind, you raise my hopes.

I can't tell you how grateful I am. - What for?

You've taken the trouble personally. But please, sit down.

I could've come to your house.

I would never have allowed a lady�

You're so kind.

But why haven't you ever wanted to see me at your office? - I'm not there.

These days my General Secretary is in Munich, so I've allowed myself a break.

No, I was talking about before.

If you knew how many times I came asking for you. - Thank you.

My dear, it's different at the office. My General Secretary�

What a terrible man! - Yes, terrible. Oh, pardon, I meant�

"strict".

And he'd better be.

I'd say that Agostino�

has created a barrier between me and the public.

Else, I'd never have any peace.

But in serious cases�

Ours are all serious cases.

Then, there's no hope at all for my case?

Don't you know your General Secretary is ruining my career.

And you'd allow that nut to do that? - No, don't say that.

Agostino is inflexible, incorruptible.

That incorruptible man gives me such looks. - It's true:

Agostino's eyes are piercing.

His eyes aren't piercing.

His eyes undress you.

And do you know what he said to make fun of me?

"Enroll in acting school. Encore!"

As if I�

You're right, you don't need it.

You act spontaneously with your whole being.

Besides cinema's a visual, plastic art.

So then�

there's no remedy?

There's a remedy for everything, dear. - You're an angel!

I just try to interpenetrate, to rectify, to help,

to resolve.

Then� it can be resolved?

Yes?

Your film is a truly serious case.

I haven't seen it, but Agostino told me your legs�

These over-exposed legs!

Required by the scene.

I'll replay it, so you'll see with your own eyes and be convinced.

Look, the scene is a bit like this:

My lover's sitting on the sofa, just like you are.

I come in and run to sit on his lap just like this.

My gown slips, revealing my legs.

Is that naughty?

Tell me if you think it's naughty.

And then� he kisses you? - No, he pushes me away.

And then�

your lover�

what does he do next?

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll conclude:

Corruption spreads through the world!

A corruption which is all the more dangerous

when it's devious, insinuating, disguised.

Watch the films�

What more could I add to these words, so clear, so specific,

of my dear Chinese colleague? Thank you!

Actresses!

Actresses compete for supremacy,

not in their performances,

but in their chest circumferences!

Look at the magazines, the ads, the fashion, the beaches�!

"Battle!" is the cry of my Arab colleague!

Battle! Let there be battle! Battle!

Always and everywhere, the same temptation

accomplished with the most diabolical devices!

And what about the strip-tease?

Censorship throughout the world tolerates it!

It's passed off as an artistic performance but is this art? I�

Calm down, you've already said that. Sit down. Keep quiet.

What? Are you arguing again?

Quiet China! Quiet Japan! Quiet China! ! Quiet Japan! Quiet!

Hello? Oh, is that you, Virginia?

Listen, I'm at the office with the National Committee of Mothers.

Movie issues.

I'll be busy all afternoon. Don't wait for me for dinner.

All right. What will I do?

I'll try to track down a friend or go to the movies by myself.

I know, Papa, we aren't in England but I doubt I'll run into a brute.

All right. Yes, Papa.

Don't worry.

Yes. Bye, Daddy. Bye. - Bye.

Miss, somebody wants to speak to the president.

Papa's not in. He's been out all day.

Yes, but this young man asked me to ask you when he'll return.

A young man? - Yes, Miss.

Let him in.

Hello.

Did you want to talk to papa?

I've been trying for days, that's why I dared�

You did right. Papa just called to say he'll be home soon.

Really?

Please sit down. - Thank you.

A drink? - No, thanks. I don't want to be a bother.

Don't worry.

I'm so lonely. You can keep me company.

I'll play a record, do you mind? - I love music!

It's blues. - Then we have the same tastes.

I suspected that.

Don't mind me, I can't keep still.

No, go ahead.

Nervous?

I have reason to be but we'd better not talk about it.

Can papa do anything?

He could do a lot.

Then stop worrying because papa blindly does whatever I say.

Does he?

You know you got rhythm? - You think so?

Yes, you have the beat.

Do you mind?

What are you thinking about?

I'd better not say, Miss�

Don't make me suffer. Some bold thought?

Let us not raise brother against brother.

Let's be strong and united!

On this note, I'd like to draw your attention, dear congress,

to this statue!

This� Oh god, what's this? Pardon.

This statue, people,

this statue is naked!

The artist stripped it almost completely of its clothes.

Yet, neither in me nor in you does it elicit profane feelings.

But the strip-tease?

Strip-tease shown today to the public as an artistic performance, what is it?

What is it, dear congress members?

A young lady,

completely dressed,

appears on the stage accompanied by rousing music.

She slowly starts undressing�

and while she undresses, she sways her hips.

She twists in provocative movements!

Then she slips off her dress�

and walks around only in her full slip!

Then she takes that off too and remains in her bra. And finally�!

Even the last bastion of her modesty�

falls.

But that's not enough! The woman, although totally naked,

continues to walk and sway!

No! We must step in like doctors step into leper colonies

and you two are coming with me!

I'm going and whoever wants to come, come.

Oh God, what is it? - Feel those brakes?

Yes, but slow down.

Don't you like feeling the thrill of speed?

I prefer trying other kinds of thrills.

How odd, I thought you were free from certain instincts.

When one's near a beautiful woman like you�

Let's go to the pinewoods. - Yes, please! I love nature so much.

This air is tonic!

Detoxifying!

Exciting!

Do you ever do breathing exercises? - With my workload!

Try it. It develops the chest. - Does it? - Look.

One, two, three!

One, two, three! - Thank you, wonderful, I feel like a lion!

Oh, poor me! Help! - No, don't shout!

Don't shout, Miss, don't shout! God knows what they'll think!

Miss!

Help!

Help!

Stop! Was he bothering you? - No, we were playing.

You were playing?

Yes, I was playing.

At his age�

That wretched officer has spoiled this wonderful day.

Come, I know a lovely little spot. - Where?

Come. Come on!

Giuseppe, you must get your sister at the station, right?

My sister?

Ah, yes!

May I go? - Certainly.

You may go. - Thank you.

I can't resist the temptation of unlacing men's shoes.

Sorry, but these have buckles. See? - Then, I'll take them off.

Teaser.

Sit on the rug. I don't understand this craze of Italians for sitting on chairs.

Ours is a very backward country.

Giovanni, look into my eyes, and tell me the truth.

What happened in your club? - I can assure you, nothing wrong.

Wild orgies?

The worst we do in my club is play foosball.

But there are unmentionable things which go on in other clubs.

Why hasn't papa them shut them down? - Maybe he doesn't know about them.

Tell me all and I'll report it. - Don't embarrass me.

It's not things you can say to a young lady.

Now I'm dying of curiosity to know.

Call girls?

In a certain sense.

Hey,

how are the encounters arranged? - It's very simple.

The client, usually a rich old commendatore,

phones a certain number and asks, for example,

for a French painting with a golden frame for 10 in the evening.

What does that mean?

That the client wants an appointment with a French girl.

What about the golden frame? - It means blond hair.

Interesting! What then?

Then he goes to the appointment in these famous clubs.

He dines with the girl in a private room where they've got all they need:

A fireplace, liqueur, music�

A discreet and very comfortable place.

Exactly like here.

Here too we have a fireplace,

music, whiskey�

It's a comfortable place and you don't even have your shoes on.

We want a table. - They're all taken.

That table's free. - Bitte?

We'd like that table. - I'm sorry, it's booked.

I booked it: Public Morality.

Excuse me, what would you like?

Juice.

The strip-tease is starting. Hush!

Calm down.

Revolting!

So this is an artistic performance? Terrible, isn't it?

Well, we can go now. Let's go!

You've seen enough, the strip-tease is finished. Move it!

You should be in bed by now. Let's go! Move it!

Disgusting.

A scandal!

Devils!

Hello? - Hello? Bitte? Wollen come to my table?

I'll be right there. - Come, babe.

Thanks for the invitation. - What are you doing?

You invited me. - Get up, I didn't invite you!

You invited me. - No, it must be a poor connection!

But you phoned me. - Don't fool yourself, I called that lady.

Don't you want me? - No. Get outta here.

You're rude. - You're rude.

And ugly too! - Please! You're the ugly one!

Hello, Fraulein? - Good evening.

Do you speak Italian? - A little.

Shall we have a drink?

I'd love to.

Good.

Champagne, bitte.

Eh? - Monica.

Monique.

Did you like my number? - Damn, it was nice.

I've rarely seen such a fast typist.

It used to be my job.

Why did you quit?

I prefer to strip in public rather than in private.

That's a good one!

No, thanks, champagne gets me bloated.

I said champagne gets me bloated. - Bloated?

I know very well what this is. Tell him it's trash, it bloats me!

But you must order something.

Two scotches then.

Tanzen? - Ja.

Are you of age? - Yes, I'm 22.

How long have you worked in this club? - Two years.

What do your parents say? Mama? Papa?

They live in the country.

Do you live alone?

Ja, in a furnished flat.

"Free admission"?

Not for everyone.

Do you dance like this with everyone? - It depends on the man.

Am I your type?

You Italians!

You'd like to go to Italy, right?

I've always dreamt of going:

the sea, the sun, the blue sky�

Are you paid by the cork? - Cork?

What percentage do you get on each bottle?

5%.

You could get 10% in Italy.

They exploit you here.

How do you know about these things?

Papa played bass.

What are you doing later?

Are you having tea at my place?

At 4 in the morning? - You're not required to drink.

How much does tea cost at your place?

100 marks.

100 marks?

100 marks at the current exchange rate would be�

14,800 lire, right?

Is it a lot? - No, you could be earning more.

What do you care? - Let me do the numbers.

Let's see, five corks�

five corks at 5%. 5 times 5 is 25�

That would be 950 lire, right?

Then we add ten whiskeys.

Ten whiskeys� ten whiskeys�

that would be 740 lire, right?

How much for the strip-tease? - 30 marks.

30 marks, the total would be 5,200 lire.

Baby, I'm offering you a way to make more.

In Italy? - Yes, in Rome.

A far more honest and profitable job, would you like that?

Good, let me taste your whiskey.

Excuse me, drink yours. - Why do you let them exploit you?

I knew it: tinted water. Right?

What do you care? - I pay 1,500 lire for this whiskey

and it goes to that slave driver of a boss instead of you, right, baby?

I pay 1,500 lire for this whiskey and you give me tinted water!

I'm chucking this filth and I won't pay you!

Take this, for your trouble.

Congratulations for the slap.

He fired you, right? - Ja, all because of you!

You did it on purpose! I can see that. Think I'm stupid?

Let's see if you'll really let me work in Italy now!

Don't worry. - I hope I don't regret it.

Cute, isn't it? - It looks very cosy.

It's a discreet place where you can dine in privacy.

Nice!

Discretion is one of the best virtues, don't you think?

Yes.

Good evening. How nice to see you again! How are you?

Fine, thanks. - I'm glad.

Commendatore, a dear friend. - Very honored, Commendatore.

Have you ever been here? - Never.

Well, now you know the way. Please take a seat.

Are you staying for dinner? - Certainly.

Are you dining out here or s�par�?

S�par�. - Right.

Would you like a cocktail? - Yes, why not?

I'll have a martini with a drop of angostura. - The same.

And olives and caviar on toast. - We have the same tastes.

Excuse me.

Barman!

How quiet.

I feel like an amnesiac who is just about to recover his memory.

Shall we have a look inside?

Later on. - How sweet is your "later on"!

A young man would have insisted, but not me. I know how to wait.

Bravo. You know how to act.

Yes, darling, I know how to act.

I know how to wait, to anticipate. Right now, I'm anticipating:

I look at you, I admire you, I desire you and I anticipate.

And you, dear, are you anticipating too?

I gotta go and call mama. I'll say our car broke down.

Is everything alright, Commendatore? - Perfect, thank you.

This is my phone number, only for friends and VIPs.

Thank you.

If you don't want to say your name, just say, "Vera's friend".

Right, "Vera's friend".

If you want a reserved room, you'll say,

"Marga, I'd like a nice frame for that painting".

A nice frame? Very good. A refined trick, a delicate precaution.

I could also order a nice painting? - Naturally.

If you order a painting by a Flemish artist,

it will mean you want a blond girl.

A Neapolitan artist for a brunette! - Exactly!

If you want her full of life,

gutsy, you'll say,

"French impressionism." - Wonderful!

But no abstract art, please!

If by chance, you come across a nice picture,

call me at this number.

But please, don't ask for Vera's friend.

I'll pretend I'm calling from the Visual Arts Gallery.

Splendid!

Good luck.

Cheers.

Ad maiora.

Oh, God!

Who is it?

What? Scared of that little woman?

Hush, she's spying on me!

How did she know I was here? She must've followed me all day.

Who is she? - A devilish woman.

I should've sent her to Germany with Agostino,

but one's never too cautious.

We must leave. Sorry, dear, we'll have to give it up this time.

Let's go. - Alright, let's go.

You go ahead of me.

I'll cut through the fields and join you at the crossroads.

As you wish.

Ladies and gentlemen, my father played the bass.

The person speaking to you and spurring you to fight,

comes from a family that knew the sordidness of society.

No one better than me can state�

that these girls can be pulled out of the mud and saved.

I've already had one of them fired

and others like her will be sent to new jobs.

I give the floor to Chin Tao Co,

while I go back to my pragmatic and constructive work.

Goodbye, all. Don't lose yourselves in words.

Move it! Move it!

Halt! Halt! - Halt!

Kr�ger, what are they doing?

It's an artistic performance.

That one even imitates Gr�co.

Who cares?

Kr�ger, I need some smart girls who can get me "corks" after the show.

Commendatores are getting very demanding in Italy.

When they come from Milan to Rome, they close their deal, pocket the money.

They want to have fun, no?

But Agostino, I've always pleased your commendatores.

They're no different from ours!

Are they open to an after show?

They're leaving?

They don't like entertaining commendatores.

And you laugh? You shouldn't have asked them.

You must first hire them, so they're stuck.

Where do you need these attractions for?

Monique at the White Kat packs the house every evening!

The strip-tease club is fine, the problem is the Banana Boat.

Who will you get me for the Banana Boat? A swede?

I know what you need.

Next ones!

Bravo! Bravo!

What Swedes? The Negresses! I'll give them to the commendatores.

Yes, but you must be careful with them. - Why?

One of them is a man.

No! - Ja.

Are you a man?

Yes.

Why pretend to be a woman? - He didn't want to go in the army.

Just like me. Where are they from? - It's rather complicated�

Are they illegal immigrants?

Not exactly illegal, but there are a lot of complications.

They're a bit irregular�

I see. Better that way: they won't complain.

They'll be in my power.

You like Italy? - Yes!

I like you too! "Me like you too!"

Thank you. - Keep quiet. You're a man.

Make them move a bit. Make them move!

Make them move. - Move it, girls.

There's a lot to be done. You're going to Italy.

Good evening. Please, come in.

Cigarettes? - No, thank you.

Are you new?

Yes, I came from Munich with the strip-tease girl.

But you strip first, eh?

No. I'm allergic to gardenias and calceolarias.

And what? - Calceolarias.

What funny legs that girl has.

They'd be beautiful on their own,

but with that chest� I don't know, it doesn't add up.

Yeah, but it adds up for the owner. And this is nothing, just wait.

Navels. Navels! And I hafta close my club!

You think that's fair?

I'd like to bring your father here. - Ah, Papa?

Yeah, papa.

You really don't want anything?

Yes, your phone number.

879-560�

What? - 879�

Later.

It's starting, watch carefully.

This girl strips poorly. She has no method.

How would you undress?

With an exasperating slowness.

You see how this club is?

Virginia! - Papa?

Why are you here? - What about you?

I'm here for a good reason:

as the president of the IOPM. - President? Perfect, so you can help!

Sorry, who are you? - It's the young man I told you about.

The foosball man.

How dare you bring Virginia to these clubs?

I just wanted her to see. - One's enough in the family.

To do you justice and because Virginia asked me,

I forced myself and this evening, for the first time in my life,

I've come to this sewer.

Uncle, it's our turn!

What?

Have you forgotten? Cha cha cha! Cha cha cha!

Miss, you're mistaken.

He's nuts�

Virginia dear, go back home.

Be kind, see her home.

I must get to the bottom of this for your interest's sake.

Waiter! - No, don't worry about it. Go, children. Go.

Remember, straight home.

Do you speak Italian? - A little.

Miss, forgive me for disturbing you,

but do you know why I'm here?

It's easy to guess. - No. I just want what's good for you.

I'm on a mission for morality.

Ja, ja. And I'll end up in Baghdad!

Baghdad? - Sold into white slavery.

I don't understand.

Don't you? Then I'll explain it to you.

I met another man like you in Munich.

He wanted my own good, he said I was exploited,

that I could find an honest job in Italy. And the result?

I do the same job as in Munich, but I earn much less!

There I got 5%, here 3%.

And every evening I must dine in a s�par� with a commendatore.

Oh, you poor thing.

I can't imagine who this vulgar person might be whom you met in Munich.

The world's full of traps for poor defenseless girls.

But you can trust me.

I'm the president of the International Organization for the Public Morality.

And I'm in this club,

to gain a close knowledge of problems like yours.

Then, you can help me then? - Certainly, dear.

As soon as my General Secretary comes back, an incorruptible man,

I'll have him look into your case. - Thank you!

I'd so love to change my life.

You'll change it, I promise.

Goodnight, dear.

Goodnight. Forgive me for thinking� - It happens.

I had no idea that the problem of call girls was so serious.

A real plague, President Sir. - We shall cure it!

As soon as my General Secretary is back, we'll start a crusade.

It will be hard work. Call girls are almost uncontrollable.

For what nefarious aims does technical progress serve!

Do you mind? - Please.

Hello?

Ah, the Visual Arts Gallery? Yes?

I've a wonderful opportunity for you. Yes.

Ah, yes, I understand.

Leave everything to me.

The Flemish School!

Do you recommend this painting?

Is it a sure investment that I won't regret?

Gold frame! Very good. Good.

See you later.

Are you interested in paintings?

Antiques.

Art is a great consolation.

Then, I'll ask my sister to invite you. - Your sister?

Yes, she has an antiques gallery.

Very interesting.

Please. - Don't forget the call girls.

The bugle will call for reveille soon. Leave it to me, Baroness. - Thank you.

Eleonora, you're here? - My respects.

Farewell, ladies. - Farewell, President.

You always arrive at the right time, eh?

I've got the mail for you to sign. - Leave it there.

These articles talk about our activity.

Make four copies of each. I need them tomorrow morning.

I can deliver them by midnight.

Then copy these too.

What must I copy? - All the leading articles.

It'll take all night! - You'll be reimbursed for overtime.

Thank you, Sir and good evening. - Good evening.

Eleonora, don't stop working for any reason. It's urgent.

Don't worry.

Please, come in. - Thank you.

Do you like the atmosphere? - Yes, it's very nice.

And�

the painting? - Any moment now.

What's she like? - Commendatore, don't be so impatient.

Is she a classy girl? - Certainly, an excellent education.

And does she know�

that I'm of a certain age?

What are you saying?

Age doesn't matter for a handsome man like you.

I'll send in the Flemish painting now.

Good evening.

You?

There's a misunderstanding, Miss.

No, I'd say it's quite clear!

Let me explain. - It's been explained well enough, no?

No, Miss, appearances may be against me but�

You're not fooling me!

I was just trying to see how these things happened in real life.

Really? Wasn't the show enough?

Want me to strip just for you? - Miss! What do you mean?

Oh, God!

The police!

That's the man who sent me to Italy! - Agostino?

Come on, Snow White! Let's go! - OK.

Let's go!

I've always considered him�

like my conscience.

Entrez-vous!

Entrez, entrez! Entrez, c'mon!

Marga! - Welcome back, love.

Everything OK? - We were doing the accounts.

Eleonora!

Agostino!

I was just about to go!

How's it going at the office? - When you're not here, badly.

Don't tell them at the office you saw me, eh?

I'm not stupid. Gimme me another hug.

The takings? - 450,000.

450,800.

The White Kat?

That's them. - Go and see.

White Kat? How much?

Yes, alright. Goodnight.

How much?

900,000. - Good for a Friday.

The German stripper is a big hit. - Good, we'll show her again.

We need an enticing number for Banana Boat too.

I've brought some Negresses. - Lemme see. - Here. You like them?

Where are they from? - Senegal, Kenya and Jamaica.

Where they make rum.

What are you on about?

Are their papers in order?

As much as yours are. - What can they do?

Faites voir your number!

Well?

No?

I really like this one.

You do? Sure, he's a man!

A man? - A man!

Are you a man? - Yes, I'm a man.

A fine surprise, eh? - Yes, it is.

Put them to bed. - All together? - No, separate the man.

All the rooms are taken.

We'll put them in the cellar. - No, they'll steal the bottles!

We'll lock them inside. - Yes?

With the man?

That's their business. Take them away.

Let's go.

Are you sleeping at home or keeping me company?

I'm staying with you.

Like you need to ask.

Agostino? - Yes?

Aren't you coming to bed? - I'll just salute papa and come back.

Papa�

Goodnight, Papa.

Good day. - Welcome back, Secretary Sir.

Crosswords?

We were expecting you on Thursday. - A small surprise.

I wanted to see if all were well, while I was gone.

Is the president at work? - No.

What time is it? - 11:30.

After you left, he started coming in around noon.

When does he leave? - Around one.

Non-stop hours, eh?

May I, Secretary Sir? We've covered the navel with a veil.

Good. Good. - Yes.

From bad to worse: it's even more exciting. Off with the veil! - But�

Have you heard the news, Sir?

You got into acting school?

There's no need for school with a body like mine.

My film's coming out today in three major cinemas.

Didn't they ban it?

The mothers withdrew their charge.

Who convinced them? - They spoke to the president.

Why aren't you at your post? - I showed the lady in.

She doesn't need to be shown by you. Verstanden? Auf wiedersehen!

There was nothing pornographic in my film.

You were in it. Your presence alone creates a provocative atmosphere.

Why, thanks! How kind! - It wasn't a compliment, Miss.

Have you ever stripped in public?

How dare you? - Why?

You never would?

General Secretary Sir!

Eleonora.

Welcome, Mr Agostino.

A German candy from Munich. - Thank you.

Chew slowly. Back to work!

Eleonora, have you transcribed the tape?

It's all archived. - Good.

Typewriter!

"Detailed report�"

"of the IOPM Congress in Germany."

"The problem�"

"of young women in the northern countries�"

"is becoming day by day, more and more tragic."

"In fact, I myself�"

"have noticed these girls in the streets turning round to look at me."

"As if the roles were reversed."

General Secretary Sir, the president is asking for you!

Ahead of schedule? - Ahead of schedule.

Hello, President Sir.

Hello, everyone.

Considering the strangers here, may I know the reason for this meeting?

Dearest Agostino, you should be able to imagine the reason�

for this meeting.

Either I'm dreaming or I've been named Vice President?

Do you know what they call men like you in England?

I don't know English.

They call him a "slave trader".

Could you translate, please? - One who deals in white slavery.

What do you mean?

You must understand� - You're a monster!

You wormed your way into our organization like a snake!

After having thrown out Commendatore Menegotti, that poor man,

you took advantage of the good faith of thousands of mothers

for your vile ends!

What are we doing, Sir? Listening to this hag or shall we come to the point?

My dear son, the point is that�

you must leave.

I must leave after all I've done for our organization?

We're at a crossroads: Either you go or we do

Then leave. I'm not holding you back.

People, we've been given an alternative.

What must we do?

President Sir, what talk is this? You're not suggesting that we leave?

Dear Sir, if you don't mind, our backs are against the wall!

Will you go without any trouble or do you want a scandal?

I prefer the scandal. - Dear Agostino, think it over.

You'll be crushed by the weight of your own faults.

Then President Sir, let Samson die with all the Philistines!

We've nothing to reproach ourselves for. Our conscience is pure.

President Sir,

truthfully speaking, the purest in here has scabies!

May I, President Sir?

And you, Mr Menegotti?

Where's he going?

Probably to wash his hands.

Set it down.

Plug it in. No, that's industrial, the other one.

Agostino, what's this device? - Eleonora, press the button!

What is this? - What is this farce?

Eleonora, let Mr Menegotti hear. Record number 1.

Alright, you take them.

300,000?

Menegotti took 300,000, so you take 300,000.

So the poster's approved and it's all settled!

Dr Menegotti!

Menegotti, but it's impossible.

I refuse to believe that you took a bribe!

Not so fast, Count. There's something for you.

Eleonora, let the Count hear. Record number 2.

Hello? This is Count Vasaldi Bertinacci. - Yes, Count?

Dear Menegotti, did you get the 300? - Yes, just now.

Then it's agreed, fifty-fifty: 150 for me and 150 for you.

I'm astounded!

I understand that we're all human, Count,

I understand human weakness, but this goes way beyond the limit!

President Sir, don't get excited. You could get hurt. Please sit.

We're not done.

Eleonora, let the president hear. Record number 3.

Is she a classy girl?

Certainly, an excellent education.

And does she know�

that I'm of a certain age?

What are you saying?

Who is this libertine? Maybe it's one of you?

It's you, President Sir.

In view of this scandal, all we can do is go back to our activities

with the Animal Protection Society!

Creatures who are worthier than you men.

Now we're alone, shall we come to an agreement?

Alright, we'll listen.

What do you propose?

It's very simple.

This wonderful place, in the 18th century style,

will be taken over by me. I'll pay cash,

and turn it into a stylish nightclub.

With chicks galore and an excellent orchestra.

I give each one of you the chance to join my enterprise.

I admit, I might've deserved criticism as the secretary of IOPM,

but in the nightclub sector, let me assure you, gentlemen,

I'm an expert.

C'mon, don't act like a nut. - Nut? Hey, I'm smart!

Everything has a limit! Don't you knock anymore?

It was the police captain, Sir.

You're Sergio Sciscia?

So?

He has two names then? - He has at least 5,

but even more arrest warrants and convictions.

Not to speak about the frauds for illegal practice of a profession.

In fact, you practiced medicine illegally for three years.

No mortal cases. - You're also quite known abroad.

In Lugano, you were sentenced in absentia for fraud.

So you were in Lugano!

And you knew Wanda the Lady Captain. - So? Why?

Then you knew Pippo too. - So?

Then it was you who ran on the roof in pajamas with 30,000 Swiss francs?

So? - Those 30,000 francs were mine.

That concerns the police of the Ticino canton! - What canton?

You always saved yourself. Take him away. - One moment.

One moment, Captain. One last embrace.

Agostino, where are they taking you? - They're taking me away, dear.

We've shared many lovely moments. Never forget, Eleanora.

Make that loot disappear. Give it to me when I get out.

Are you arresting me because of the Negresses? - Yes.

Allow me, Sir, on this topic,

to discuss a technicality. - Don't worry, later. Go.

What about my 30,000 francs? I won't let you go, excuse me!

Captain, interpreting the feelings of thousands and thousands of mothers,

I beg you to shut down the offending clubs immediately.

Don't worry, President.

We'll start with these offices.

Captain Sir, I'd like to ask for one last favor.

Let the Caracas reopen, the place with foosball.

It's a personal favor I'm asking before I resign.

The foosball club? Oh, that shouldn't be any problem.

Thank you. - Thank you, Captain.

Hello?

This is the Visual Arts Gallery.

Yes.

Don't you remember?

A Greek painting, black frame, ebony. - Yes, Mama.

Alright, Mama.

Yes, Mama.

Yes.

Bye, Mama.

My mama.

You're lucky to still have your mama.

I'm glad I was able to help you. - Thank you.

Where shall we celebrate this happy event?

Where you want. - Giovanni! I thought you'd never come!

Did you forget I was waiting? - I was talking to the lady!

She may have managed to get our club opened.

Then you're the president's daughter? - And you're his little sister?

Yes. - No, I'm his wife.

What a nice� surprise.

Then we can rest easy that the club will reopen?

Well, that's up to daddy.

What? - Goodbye.

Where are you going? Aren't you coming? - I'm going to papa.

See? I told you to wait in the car but you had to get out! Damn it!

The tall one is a man dressed up as a woman to avoid the army.

The other two volunteered, so I'm not guilty.

Admitting you're right, allow me this little technicality, OK?

What are these? Handcuffs? Is it regulation? - Yes, it is.

Captain, this is a mistake which could ruin your career.

Allow me a technicality. - Get in, we'll talk later.

But what does the law say? White slave trade?

But they're black! How can it be white slavery? Excuse me. May I?

But if you made this mistake,

either beg my forgiveness or change the law. - Let's go!

So what are you doing? Changing it?

Don't trust me for I'll deceive you.

Moralist, can you say what morality is?

A lie for the simple man, but it's not for me.

No no, no no, no no, it's not for me!

Moralist!

Revised English subtitles by sineintegral@KG