Original subtitles

♪ 'O sole mio ♪

Branski, what are you doing here?

Yeah, you're not supposed to be here.

I'm always supposed to be here.

Not today! Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm your replacement -- Agent Benny.

Just transferred here. I'm a big fan.

How nice! What a cool dude!

Funny voice.

There we go.

He's filling in for you. You're off today, remember?

Chubbie Webbers' birthday.

Give me a break!

[ Cellphone rings ] [ Sighs ]

What?! Uncle Mark, where are you?

Chubbie Webbers' whole family is in town --

Tummy Rumbles, Grandma Webbers,

Lady Brownbone, Dusty Barkwood, Spaghetti Fettuccine...

[ Thick Italian accent ] A happy birthday, Chubbie!

...and Barry. I smell like shit.

So if you could just stop by for a minute,

it would really mean a lot.

[ Synth pop plays ]

I can't believe you're missing Chubbie's birthday.

I mean, Tummy Rumbles flew out for it.

Tummy!

Who's your favorite Webbers?

Spaghetti Fettuccine.

Mine is Tummy Rumbles.

Let's get back to the case.

It might not be my business,

but there's still time to get to Chubbie's birthday.

You know, in life, sometimes you have to remember

to stop and smell the flowers.

You're right. It's not your business.

And speaking of smelling...

Barry smells like shit.

Barry smells like shit.

Wow, three against one.

Piece of cake.

Just like Chubbie's birthday cake.

I bet there's still a slice of it

waiting at home, if you want.

How many times have I told you, I don't--

[ Screams ]

B-Branski?!

[ Whimpering ] I can't do it.

No!

Oh, no! Branski!

My favorite Hot Streets is dead!

♪♪

[ Tires squeal ]

♪♪

[ Mummy growls ]

[ All screaming ]

♪♪

Am I losing my mind,

or did I just die and hatch out of a chicken egg?

You did lose your mind.

Head blown off, to be exact.

Thank God French was there to save you.

Your head looked like scrambled eggs,

and that gave me the idea.

We're calling it Project Egg.

It's an incubation device French developed

to heal your exploded head.

You've been out for six months.

Agent Benny sent flowers.

Good work, French.

Okay, head, egg -- got it.

What's the mission?

Mark, forget about the mission.

After what you've been through, you should take some time off.

Spend it with your loved ones. Enjoy life.

I just took six months off in a chicken egg.

The streets haven't. I'm ready to work.

[ Sighs ] Very well.

For your next case, we're looking

for a man who hatches out of eggs.

He's extremely dangerous.

His name is Branski.

Shoot to kill.

That's me! I'm Branski!

Wait. That is you!

Great work, Branski!

I'm the best at solving Hot Streets cases,

and I'm ready for more.

Uncle Mark! You hatched!

Wait. The last thing I remember is French shooting me.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, that -- Big misunderstanding.

They thought you were someone else.

Thank God there was a second healing egg.

Chubbie's birthday...still?

You've been out a full year to this day.

Spaghetti: Who gotta the pasta?! I gotta the pasta!

Spaghetti Fettuccine is here?!

He's in the kitchen with everyone else!

Maybe you could take the time

to stop and say hello, relax a little.

Uh, no, I better check in with Hot Streets.

This egg stuff is fishy.

Let me see. [ Phone beeps ]

I'm detecting alien DNA.

Something weird is happening,

but I'll get to the bottom of this.

Damn, yeah! That's the Jen I know.

I'll take care of it.

For now, you should relax, enjoy the party.

I can't. I'm going to Hot Streets.

But it's not safe out there.

There's still that guy who hatches out of eggs.

Jen, it's fine.

I'm the guy who hatches out of eggs.

Oh, my God!

You're the guy who hatches out of eggs!

[ Gun cocks, fires ]

Okay, everybody, shut up and listen. I've figured it out.

I'm trapped in a Hot Streets egg loop.

We know.

This asshole again?

It's okay. You're safe now.

We were finally able to break the cycle

and pull you back into the real world.

You need to wear this funny egg helmet.

It will protect you from waking up in eggs.

Perfect. I'm done with eggs.

Who's behind this?

They call him the Farmer.

To find him, you need to collect

the 12 shards of the fractured crystal egg.

They've been scattered to the most remote

and dangerous places in the world.

It could take a lifetime.

A whole lifetime?

Sorry. That's a little too long for me.

Fine. I don't need a partner.

I got this.

This is a two-man job.

I know we've had our differences, Branski,

but I want to help you.

This is the ultimate Hot Streets case.

Fine. It's just a lifetime.

Branski: I spend decades searching for the shards --

from Mount Merapi in Indonesia,

underwater in the lost sunken, ship of Columbus' Santa Maria,

to the caves of Canin Massif in Slovenia.

Sometimes we found the shards. Sometimes we came up empty.

But my resolve never changed.

During all this, Benny smelled some flowers

or something, I guess.

[ Monitor beeping ] 45 years.

45 years.

All we did was search, and we only found

9 of the 12 shards.

All your friends, family, gone now.

You never made it to any of their funerals.

Too busy, I guess.

Spaghetti Fettuccine.

That one really hurt.

Branski, was it worth it?

Did you learn anything?

Maybe about, oh, I don't know,

stopping to smell the flowers now and then?

I...did learn...

Yeah?!

[ Coughs ]

Agent Branski, what did you learn?!

Quickly! Tell me!

I learned that...

What?!

I learned that... [ Monitor beeping rapidly ]

...you're a shitty partner.

[ Flatline ]

No! That wasn't the lesson.

I was so close!

Distorted voice: You really screwed this up, Benny.

No Lesson Wizard has ever taken more than three eggs

to teach the target a lesson.

I did everything I was supposed to.

I followed all the standard procedures.

He should have learned!

There's more to being a Lesson Wizard

than just following the manual.

You needed to pivot, adapt to the target's reactions,

and crack that lesson so that they learn and retain it.

But this is Branski!

He never learns or retains anything!

The guy goes to work, shoots monsters, and then goes home.

Nothing affects him!

Give me another chance.

I just need a little more egg.

Fine. But screw this up, you're going to jail.

I don't want to go to jail!

Branski: [ Muffled ] Damn. Another egg?!

Oh, shoot. Not ready!

I don't want to go to jail!

Oh!

I like root beer.

[ Grunts ] There he is!

Uh, welcome back, Branski.

Hey.

Looks like I showed up just in time

for Chubbie's birthday again. -A happy birthday, Chubbie!

And you're here. What a coincidence.

You're right. It's a coincidence.

Look at all the good doggies.

[ Digital voice ] Enjoy -- E-Enjoy the party.

Good to see you.

Spaghetti Fettuccine, act natural.

I think we got a Lesson Wizard here.

He's trying to teach me something

about smelling flowers.

Ooh, the flowers smell magnifico!

Mwah! Ha ha!

Only you and I are real here.

Everything else is an illusion.

How you say, mind fuck?

I've got an idea on how to take care of this Lesson Wizard.

Stay put.

You work so hard, Uncle Mark.

Why not spend some time with us?

T-T-T-Time with us? Spend some time with --

Hey! There you are, Jen.

Let's go for a walk.

Oh! Ha ha ha! Oh, ha ha!

Oh, ha haaaa!

No! Wait!

♪♪

Hmm! That's a little weird.

Maybe it's a Hot Streets case.

Yes, that's what it is.

And I know you want to investigate it,

but maybe you could stay

and enjoy the birthday party,

smell the flowers!

I've got a better idea.

Why don't you smell my brains...

on your face?

[ Gunshot ] No, no, no!

That will get everything to work,

and everything will be great.

Wait! Hatchedy, hatchedy!

[ Gunshot ]

You can't make an omelette without...

[ Gun clicking ]

Sorry, Branski, but it all ends here.

You are going to learn your lesson.

Lesson Wizard?

I knew it.

And you want me to smell these flowers.

Yes, please!

You know, the interesting thing about talking

is that you're constantly exhaling.

So?

I'm going to spend every last breath

talking to you and making sure...

I don't smell the flowers

and learn your god damn lesson!

[ Groans ]

You win, Branski.

I give up.

I'm going to jail.

I heard Lesson Wizard jail isn't pretty.

I just wanted to teach you a lesson, Agent Branski.

I wanted you to slow down, enjoy life, smell the flowers.

That's all.

It's like I said in the beginning,

it's none of your god damn business.

I guess that's the irony of it.

I tried to teach you, and, instead, you teach me.

Life is truly an intricate clock.

We can see the face,

but the celestial cogs move unseen. [ Chicken clucking ]

Hey, that's all super interesting,

and I really want to hear all about it...

later!

[ Clucks ]

Well, 550 years in the slammer for me.

I did it!

I put your head back together,

and it was easy!

Hey, Benny. Where'd he go?

He was right...

Lesson Wizard.

Oh!

Bet he didn't teach you anything.

Nope.

Good old Branski!

[ Both laughing ]

I can't believe we almost lost you.

But you're gonna be okay.

He's better than okay.

He's cleared to go back to work right now!

Actually, after all this, I think I do need some time

to stop and smell the flowers

with who's really important to me.

I'm glad we did this, Spaghetti Fettuccine.

Oh, mama Ma-mia!

Live is a-beautiful!

♪ 'O sole mio ♪

♪ Sta 'nfronte a te ♪

♪ 'O sole mio ♪

[ Mumbling lyrics ]

♪ 'O sole mio ♪