All language subtitles for Faking A Murderer-eng

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

And uh,
can you guys tell me,

which one found the tape?
Which one of you?

- Uh well, we found the tape...
- I found,

I found the tape when um,

we were doing a routine
exercise to find

more potential projects
for our company,

and um, basically it started
on, I think it was a Monday.

Yeah, and as soon as,
you know,

Adam showed me the video
online, you know,

alarm bells were going off
because you know,

if there's one thing that
I can tell you about myself

for certain is that I am
an expert in true crime.

You know, I've read
all the books,

I've seen all the TV shows,
I've, you know,

binge watched all the movies,
and uh, you know,

the bottom line is,

David Stoner is a killer.

Where the fuck did Stacy go?

So what made you think

that this was a bad person?

I mean, going through
the footage,

you know there was 30 hours
of it,

so we were constantly
reviewing,

and reviewing the material.

Yeah, well, I guess maybe we
should take a step back here

and you should kinda hear
about maybe

how we got started,
you know, like...

Yeah, I mean we do horror
movies, documentaries, um...

Sure, but that's,

that's not what I meant by
starting from the beginning.

I thought like maybe that
you'd wanna know

how we work together, and
I think that's because Adam

forced his way into my family
and married my sister.

Um, you know, Adam is actually
my brother-in-law.

You know,
Adam went behind my back,

started dating my sister,

and eventually they got
married.

You know, we're family.

I mean, that's probably a
best, the best place to start.

Is with our family, right,

because that's actually how we
did start this whole journey.

To be honest with you,

we decided before we were gonna
pitch it to any companies,

we would do a practice pitch
with our family.

We're doing a production.
In fact...

This could be our next movie.

Those two cameras right here,
they're gonna film us,

and we're gonna practice
our pitch,

because we have our other,
our next pitch...

- Our real pitch.
- Our real one is gonna happen.

But we don't want anybody
to be like,

act that it's good or it's bad,

just be real, and tell us
what you really think.

Okay,
so what I'm gonna do is,

I'm gonna hand out a couple
piece of paper,

you just pass them down,
all the way down. Karie?

- Yes?
- Who do you have?

- I have Steven Avery.
- Steven Avery.

Just when you have it -

wait, I thought there were
supposed to be pictures?

Why would there be pictures?

You just printed out names?

We've come across a man
who's been uploading

about 30 hours of content
onto his social media.

And as he gets more
inebriated in these videos,

it sounds like he is confessing
to a crime.

Mmm k.

We, we subtitled
all this stuff.

Shut up!

I could have fuckin' fried
you...

- I could have drowned you up.
- He's sick.

- Ugh!
- I'm gonna have nightmares.

But don't check the Trunk...

don't check the fuckin'
Burn Barrels!

- I hate him.
- That was so creepy.

- He is really creepy.
- I don't think

I could watch him,
like more than this.

I don't feel like he has
the same charm or charisma

as like, Steven Avery.

Almost like, you feel bad
for at times.

Like, almost like, you know,
he didn't do it,

- he's got this sweet side.
- So simple.

Da, da, da. This guy
is like a fucking animal.

He's a zero.
When you show this reel,

there's gotta-you gotta show
something a little more

charming about him.

Like maybe there's a
transformation from like,

him being a normal person and
then slowly going into this...

Can't be like that
24 hours a day.

Right, so just to address
that,

like I think the entertainment
aspect of it

that you're looking for, the
endearing stuff, and all that,

wouldn't come from him,
it would come from us.

Come from you guys.

The movie's about us
trying to go find a killer.

Adam and I are going to go
and look for this guy,

find out where he lives.
If he did...

I don't think
that's a good idea.

- It's not a good idea?
- No.

- Why?
- Who, who are you to go...

if this guy's really
a criminal,

you and Stu are gonna go over
and get killed!

Do you have anything more
to go on

besides what we've seen
here to,

to convince you that this guy
is a murderer?

- No.
- This is all you got?

This is what we got.

I also listen a lot
of murder podcasts...

- Yes?
- I love you guys,

but you're not investigators.

Like, you don't have any
of that experience.

We think,
we watched that video,

and we think he did kill
somebody.

What happens if you're wrong,
though?

Then we lose all our money
and it ends wrong.

So, as our kids are crying
downstairs,

we put in about $22,000.

Of our own money to go
and make this,

so we really think -
we split it down the middle.

- But wait a second...
- Are you crying?

I disagree because we're
emotionally involved

- with you guys.
- Okay, but you don't have to cry.

- Will Breakthrough cry?
- Okay.

Is going to be-no, it's not.
This is going...

Is this what's gonna happen
the whole time?

I hope not. Yeah,
that didn't go well at all,

but the thing that we had
going for us is,

we had another chance
to do it for real

when we pitched to Breakthrough
Entertainment,

the company that we thought
might pick this up.

Yeah, because I mean, we had
to have another opportunity,

because if that was it,
I mean we would've been done.

Our company can't survive
on its own,

um, we need,
we need a big success.

- Now you turn.
- This is not a spot, man.

It's fine.

- This is big for us.
- Yeah.

However, I will say that
if for whatever reason

this doesn't go well,
this might be the last,

like this might be
a short feature.

But they would never even see
this part of it.

Don't jinx it.
Everything's gonna go fine.

I'm not jinxing.
It's gonna go well,

and it's gonna full movie,
I'm just saying, just in case.

Stop being so pessimistic.

Every single time you open
your mouth first,

- things turn into a disaster.
- That's not true.

I am going to speak first.

If I don't lead this
discussion,

this whole thing's gonna
fucking go amiss...

- Hey.
- How are ya?

What's up man, how ya doing?

Good to see you.

Genevee, how ya doin'?

We're uh, filming you guys.
Sorry about that.

- How are you, gentlemen?
- Hi, Stu.

This is gonna be a little
bit different

- than what you're used to.
- Okay. I like different.

Okay, so we're gonna show
you some pictures.

If you know who the person is,
you can say it.

- Well, number one...
- Do you know who that is?

- Charles Manson.
- Charles Manson, yeah.

- Steven Avery.
- Dahmer.

Jeffrey Dahmer.

Do you know what all of these
people that you see here,

have in common?

They were all the subject
of hugely successful movies,

television shows, miniseries.
Huge success.

Not to mention that every
single one of these

are all tied to an
award-winning program.

So, I know that, before we go
out and make our films,

the best thing to do -
I guess we could sit down -

- the best thing to do is...
- Well, hold on, hold on,

hold on, true crime is the
number one genre right now.

I mean you've been out there.

It's the hottest thing out
there. For real.

We've found a uh, a video,

multiple videos online.

We've compiled them.

Wait, wait, just to back up,
'cause you look confused,

we found these videos.

You know, we're always
searching for things,

like our stoner movies, right...

I'm pretty sure I just said
the exact same thing,

- so he can't be confused.
- No, well...

The fuckin' dog's dead.

No, it's a family show.
Kiss my grits.

Where the fuck did Stacy go?

Where the fuck did Stacy go?

I'm not seeing the point,
counterpoint here,

you know what I'm saying?
That's...

For a dramatic kind of
presentation, you need that,

you almost need to get inside
a personality,

as opposed to this guy's
just a mean bastard.

We have found two people that
are willing to go on camera,

and to put everything
on the line, and like,

do whatever needs to be done
to track down this guy,

bring him to justice.

Are they investigators,
professional investigators?

Well no, they're not
professional investigators,

because the two people
are... us.

We've done the investigation
with the baseball cards,

- and stuff like that.
- The next logical step

is for us to investigate murder,
like that's...

- What if he's dead?
- Then...

- So, it's a short.
- It's a short.

Goodie!

I don't think there's,
there's enough of a show there

- to engage somebody.
- Yet.

Finding out that he's a guy
that may have killed somebody

- is not good enough.
- Is it a yes, is it a no?

I don't know that
it's a yes.

We're always here to encourage
great, new stories.

We're here, that's our
business, that's what we do.

- Right.
- So, saying no to something

would be silly of us to do,
that's our business,

- that's what we do.
- Right. So, it's not a no...

But we also have to be in
the position to advise you

to say that, let's not go down
the wrong road here,

without doing the proper
research around it,

and without knowing that
it's going to take perhaps,

on the outside, at worst,

a year and a half
to find this guy.

You need to put a timeline
on this.

Yeah, we have that.
Okay, so how about this -

we have stuff, we'll send you,
as soon as we leave here,

we'll send you the stuff
that we have.

We'll send it to Craig,
and he can distribute.

Uh, just we have a timeline,
a production schedule.

- We sort of have an idea.
- Okay.

- Perfect. Thanks, guy.
- Thanks.

You wanna keep the,
oh, we'll take the pictures.

So, we'll just have to send
them something today.

- Let's get outta here.
- It's a hand.

Alright, you guys can cut.

Nat seemed like he was
really into it, um...

Like, into it as like
not into it.

No, I felt like that he was
into it, and uh...

But, but not really,

like he was probably playing
like he was into it,

- but he wasn't, he wasn't...
- Well, either way, you know,

we're waiting at that point,

and that's what you do
in this business.

You hurry up, and you wait.

I think that we should
have the option

- to maybe take it elsewhere.
- Yeah.

I gotta eat,
I gotta, you know.

- No, no, I agree.
- I got-I got bills to pay,

and we got, we gotta...

Maybe we take it somewhere else.

Mhmm. It's definitely
something to consider.

- Mhmm.
- Are you talking to me?

What?

Yeah. Okay.

I bet you in this
neighbourhood,

- they sell more with no bacon.
- You wanna make a bet?

- Yeah, I do.
- Okay.

You're telling me in this
neighbourhood,

that you grew up in...
You grew up here.

You said you come here every
Saturday.

- All bacon.
- No bacon.

- All bacon.
- It's a Jewish neighbourhood.

- All bacon. - No way.
- Absolutely.

Excuse me, I have a question
about your homestyle burger.

- Yeah?
- Do more people order it,

around this neighbourhood,
with bacon or without bacon?

Uh, I'd say probably
with bacon.

With bacon.

With bacon?
In this neighbourhood?

Hold on, sorry. Sorry,
can we just...

One second. Hello?

What is all this about?

Oh, we're actually uh,
we're making a movie.

Oh yeah.

We have found
the next big name

in true crime.

- What are you looking at?
- They're trying to find this...

Yeah, we're,
we're shooting this movie,

and yeah, take a look.
We're uh...

So, we just pitched this
project to a big company,

hoping to be able to go find
this guy.

Have you ever done anything
like that before?

- No.
- What are you guys doing?

Uh yeah, I was just showing
them the uh,

you know, the video and...

Do you wanna know the good
news, or the bad news?

I mean I want the good news.

- So, that was Breakthrough.
- Yeah?

Oh, they're gonna order
the show.

What?! They're gonna order
the show?!

- They order the show!
- Are you serious?

- Yes.
- Are you serious?

She's serious?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

So, Breakthrough Entertainment
picks up the movie.

Um, they brought on
a fantastic broadcaster,

Hollywood Suite,
and uh, you know.

That was a dream
come true for us.

- I mean, it was.
- Yeah, no Hollywood Suite

is a great, a great
broadcaster, and you know,

they were actually so pumped up
about this project

that they invited us to uh,
the film festival in Toronto,

- That's right.
- ...to uh, you know,

make a big announcement at
their gala in front of uh,

you know, all of our industry
peers.

Yeah.

Do you have your speech ready,
or no?

Of course.
No, the sunglasses are good.

Now people might think
you're uh, like...

- Shia LeBeouf?
- Shia LeBeouf.

Shia! Shia, say something
for the camera!

Shia, one photo!
Shia, one photo!

You guys are actually
ridiculous.

- Perfect.
- Alright guys,

- enjoy the festival. Take care.
- Thank you.

Hey, no problem.

You guys know where
the King Eddy Hotel is?

I mean, this was pretty much
the biggest moment

of our career together, so far.

Um, you know,
this was absolutely huge.

Thank you,
and welcome to the 9th annual

Hollywood Suite Breakfast.

For our first-time guests here
this morning, welcome,

and in the case of returning
friends, welcome back.

We at Hollywood Suite
are excited

about announcing an exciting
new collaboration

with the guys at 5'7 Films.

We have the filmmakers
in attendance here today.

Please welcome Stu Stone
and Adam Rodness

to say a few words
about their new project.

Good morning, everybody.

Uh, thank you -
oh, sorry -

for inviting us here,
this morning.

Love the event.

My name is Adam, this is Stu.

5'7 Films.

He said that, didn't he?

Uh, we're both 5'7,

so that's why we named
the company 5'7 Films.

Thank you to uh,
Hollywood Suite.

The last movie we did is
called "Jack of all Trades",

which investigated uh,
baseball cards.

We thought that
the next logical step

would be to investigate
a little bit...

Murder.

Uh, actually we,
our new project,

we are going to be investigating
a potential murderer.

Uh, this is, this is the guy,
right here,

that we are going to be
investigating,

and hopefully finding.

If you happen to see this guy,

definitely do not approach him,

and contact your local
Crime Stoppers,

or us.

So, thank you very much again,

and enjoy the rest
of the event. Thank you.

Thanks, guys.

- Oh, I was...
- Oh, go ahead. Yeah, sure.

Thank you.

Thank you, guys.
Thank you.

Important project for us.
We know you can deliver.

We've put a lot into this,
so uh, don't mess it up.

I know you won't.

So, turning to other business...

Uh, something that maybe
people who are movie lovers,

maybe they don't know who,
who are watching this,

is that in order for any movie
to get green lit,

or go, or to shoot,
or to film,

you need to show
that you have insurance.

But why are you talking
about the insurance?

Because that's where
we're at in the story.

I know. The producer
gets the insurance.

You have to go,
you have to find an insurer,

you have to find a medical
doctor,

- In order to get the money.
- I know, but why -

again like just let me
explain it

because you've never done it
before.

This was my idea,
and I had a plan.

And what brings you in today?

Uh, we're getting checked up
for uh,

insurance purposes.

- Okay.
- Is this a doctor's office?

- It is.
- But it's a dentist's office.

- Yes.
- Yeah, but it's still a doctor.

Yeah, still a doctor.
Okay, give me one sec.

Let me go call Dr. Matt.

Dude, this is a fucking
dentist's office.

- It's a doctor's office, yeah.
- This is a dentist's office.

Which is a doctor's office.

- Hey buddy, how's it goin'?
- How's it goin'? Not bad.

- What's up, buddy?
- Good to see you. Stu.

We have to get insurance
signed off

and we have to have
a doctor sign off, so...

But you're a dentist, right?

Yeah, I could recommend some
doctors for you guys, if...

Well, no, no, no,
we wanted you to do the...

Do they care,
if like you know,

my degree is Doctor
of Dental Surgery?

Doc... sorry,
just say the first part.

- Doctor. Okay.
- Yeah. That's is.

- Dr. Matt.
- But you are a doctor.

- Yeah, they call me Dr. Matt.
- But they call you,

- I mean, is that how it works?
- Yeah, Dr. Matt Grinstein.

You guys saw the name
on the door.

I saw the name on the door,
but I just...

Okay, I wanna see you bite
down. Teeth together.

We've got quite a bit.
Just a bit of a margin

from where the crown ends
to where your tooth starts.

- That beeping is a good sound?
- Yeah.

So, when I'm checking
my pulse and it's,

and it would be like 120...

You don't usually check it
over the ear though...

So, it's like the forearm?

Yeah, we could do the radial
pulse,

or we can actually
get a pulse up here, so.

Where's the weirdest place
to check a pulse?

Honestly, the weirdest
would be your groin.

- Okay.
- Check my pulse?

No, your groin would be -
it has a strong pulse.

So, Stu and I have found
a confession tape of um,

what we think is an alleged
murderer.

I told you about Ted Bundy,

one of the ways they were able
to kind of pinpoint him, right?

- How?
- Forensic odontology.

He bit one of his victims
on the shoulder,

and they actually were able
to take models from the,

the bite marks on his shoulder,
and the poured them up.

They were able to match his
mouth with the bite mark

on the, on the female shoulder,
which is super cool.

Wait, so look at this guy,
if he bit somebody,

it would be pretty easy
to tell.

Dude, it looks like he's
missing several teeth,

which is rare.

Do you know what,
this isn't the best picture,

but if he actually has congenitally
missing lateral incisors,

this puts him down to like
3 or 4 percent of the people.

- So, this is rare; he's rare.
- Yeah, I would say so.

Uh, we were, we were pretty
excited at this point.

You know, the money hits
our account, you know our,

our shoot is officially
happening,

the investigation
is officially underway.

And the uh,
the first thing you do

when you have an investigation,
you go to the cops.

You know, thanks so much for
letting us ride along with you.

Obviously, this is incredible.

We think that the-that
we might've found

the next true crime phenomenon.

What does it take for the
police hop on a case to assist?

Do you want to show me
that uh, piece?

- I could show you.
- I'll pull up here.

This is the guy.
He goes by David Stoner,

- is what he calls himself.
- Hmm.

- And this is him.
- You gotta know what you're,

what you see,
and what you have,

before you can actually um,

make a decision on it.
And um...

- We don't have enough yet.
- I don't, I don't think so.

Like you, specifically,
cannot help us?

- Specifically, I couldn't.
- Silky, smooth voice.

It'd be great to have you
on our side.

At the end
of the day,

what you have right now is,

is a drunken idiot flapping
his gums.

So, could we find somebody
to pull over?

Could we scare somebody, like?

No, no.

So, the cops wouldn't
work with us.

No, the cops uh, they had
no interest in helping us.

- I just said that.
- I'm just reiterating it.

I had to go and like, find
another way to keep it going,

and that was to hire
a private investigator,

so we lined up the best ones
possible.

- How are ya, man?
- Not bad, how are you?

- I'm Stu, nice to meet you.
- Stu?

- Yeah.
- Adam.

I feel like I'm walking
into a trap, here.

It's a trap, man.
So, basically we...

- You good with this?
- What?

This seat?
Does this look weird?

I feel like I'm higher up
than you.

- Sorry.
- Maybe this one, too?

- Is that better?
- That's great, actually.

- Is it a comedy show?
- No.

No, I just don't want him
to look like,

it's like we're shooting...

I mean, I investigate murder
cases all the time.

- Okay.
- Right.

This guy's name is David
Stoner, and he has like a...

- It's a pseudonym?
- I guess so.

The logical step would be
to see where these videos

were uploaded from.
Can we find an IP address

that would link us to the city
or the country that he's in?

So, we have about 20 guys
that do nothing

- but surveillance.
- Like stakeouts?

That's what they do.
Yes, all day long.

I love stakeouts.

But don't check the Trunk...

don't check the fuckin' burn
barrels.

Where the fuck did Stacy go?

First thing I see,
is he mentions Stacy.

Yeah, that's the thing that
we're kind of circling around.

It's not as easy as you
think. There's a lot of work.

You guys, of course, you're
probably on a light budget,

so we'd want a retainer
up front.

So, a case like this,

how much would something like
this cost?

Hundred grand.

But guys absolutely think

that you might-that this guy
might be real.

And with your empathy,
and humanity,

and all that bullshit,
you wanna put him jail.

Yeah, that's exactly...

That's exactly
what we want to do.

Well, you get points
for that.

What do you like
the most about me, mom?

I did clean my room!
Kiss my grits.

First of all,
have you been to the cops?

- We've been to the cops, yes.
- And what did they tell you?

They said that, that we
didn't really have anything.

Well, ya don't!
What if I don't find him?

You look a little deflated.

Well, I mean I feel like, if
the job was to not find him...

We could do that.

You know, we need to find
somebody that can...

- Actually find him.
- find him.

Well, I know you need me
to find him, but I might not.

I might not.

- Hey, Mr. Lynn?
- Are you sure this is...

- No we're, we're in the...
- We're in the lot.

We're in the,
we're in that south lot.

Adam.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Okay,
okay, just put the camera...

- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
- Okay, sir, sir, sir!

Cut it, cut it.

Sir, just put
the camera down.

Didn't somebody tell you that
we were gonna be filming?

Nobody told me they would
be filming.

Don't you know what I do
for a living, boy?

- The whole point of this was...
- Nobody said they are filming.

And the next thing is,
anything can happen on camera,

- you have to pay my rate, plus.
- Okay.

- Alright?
- Yeah, that makes sense.

So, a bottom line is,

a retainer is gonna take $1,000
more.

- $1,000.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

And things will come true.
What?

How, how much was the
retainer in the first place?

Well, I mean, we speak
about a retainer then,

because I'm always flexible

and we didn't know what you
guys got goin' on.

Now that we, now that we
know the situation, right,

it's gonna take at least
$1,000 more. Alright?

Cool, sounds good?
Because I always deliver.

- So, show me what you got.
- Okay, this is the guy.

His name is David Stoner,
and this is...

- Let me see this David Stoner.
- This is the guy.

David Stoner. Ras clot.

- And he's from the internet?
- Yes, he's from the internet.

Kiss my grits.

You guys are too into this,
man.

This is fake news, fake video.

You'd have to convince me
that this is real.

David Stoner:

The way I work,
I need to have facts, right?

Yeah.

We need to find out
who Stacy is.

Now, get the fuck outta
the car. Alright.

Okay.
We're not hiring that guy.

- Why, are you scared of him?
- Yes! Very.

Just so you know,
we are so excited,

because you take no shit
from anybody,

and we're gonna catch this guy.

I like your enthusiasm.
I will catch him.

Just want to talk about like
the um, monetary values

and the compensation.

So, you tell us,
where are we at?

Well, uh what I'm expecting
is a $30,0000 retainer

online in the next day or so,
and then I'm working for you.

And the balance
when I find him.

Sorry, 30...

are you saying it's like
30 grand, and less the 25%?

No, I've already, I've
already taken the discount off.

We're looking at $75,000 total.
I need $30,000 up front.

Um, it was pretty clear
at that point,

that Adam did not budget
this movie properly.

Um, you know, he didn't take
into account obviously

that the detectives cost money.
Um...

because you know, people wanna
get paid for their work.

So.

I'm pretty sure that was my
plan the entire time.

What, be in the hole?
That was your plan?

- Yeah. I got a strategy.
- Huh, you did great.

Either way, it was pretty
obvious who we needed to hire.

Yeah.

Geez. Christ!

What the fuck was that?

All you gotta do is pay
my rate. Everything goes good.

Okay. Was that a gunshot?

You tell me what you know.

Uh, what we know is this,
we have his online channel

is called "Bait and Tackle
Mondays".

So, we have,
there's a white car.

- A white car.
- There's a dead dog,

- I'm sure there's...
- Hold on, hold on a second.

- A white car...
- A white car.

- It's a white car.
- Someone named Stacy,

that's the potential victim.

If this is a potential
victim, did you guys

even try to track to down
any MPRs?

What's that?

That's a missing person's
report.

You've gotta check out MPRs
from everywhere.

Could be from this city,
from Newfoundland,

and this is what Richard Lynn
will do.

And you can do that?

Oh yeah, we can do that.
I'll tell ya,

that kind of search, add about
$2,800 for a search like that,

- because that's a deep search.
- How much?

$2,800, and that's cheap,
boys.

- You know, you know that.
- On top of the 35.

Of course! Let's go outside
and look at it on the hood.

Come on, okay?
Just be careful of the paint.

This is, this is,
this is our guy.

What your dirty fingernails.

Seems like, maybe he's
a hunter, or something,

because that's like...
and as you can see,

he's got this like,
tattoo, right?

- That says "Ella" on it.
- That says "Ella."

Are those guys here with you?

Should we...

No, no, we're okay here.
We're okay here.

We're okay here, guys. Alright.

So, let's get all of the facts
here. When my guy gets on it.

And he runs the IP address.
Alright?

From where it was uploaded
from, get our first step there.

So, what do you need us
to do?

Sit tight, alright.
Don't say nothin' to nobody.

I'm gonna have some answers
for ya, for sure,

because Richard Lynn
always delivers.

Okay.

He's just that crazy that he
might actually find him.

Look at him. See ya, buddy.

Now, how the fuck do we get
out of here? Oh my god.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I received the cheque
that you guys sent to us,

I just um,

yeah, I just wanted to know,

is there supposed to be another
zero in that cheque?

No, it's going, it's going
really well, actually.

It's going...
No, we're not out of money.

We're not out of money.

Um, I just wanted to know like,

if we do need more money
in the future though,

like how would we go about to...

So, what is this?

So, this is the brand
we're representing, um,

I was telling you about,
called Ziggi Papers.

- Ziggi Papers?
- Ziggi Papers.

- These are rolling papers.
- Yeah. They're rolling papers,

and I was hoping you guys could
get them in the movie somehow.

What's up, brother?

What's up, brother?
How are ya?

Yeah, he's saying that
if we show,

somehow can show these rolling
papers in the movie...

Yeah.

...they'll pay us
every time we show it.

- Big dollars.
- Big dollars. Great.

- Thanks, Adam.
- Thanks, buddy.

- Yeah.
- Hello?

Okay, I'll talk to you after.
Thank you. Hello?

It would have to be an
organic kind of thing.

Because I want this movie
to be... right,

so whatever it is,
it's going to be organic.

It's not just gonna be like
hey, here's the papers,

you owe us money!

I just don't know anybody
that smokes um, weed.

There was a, uh lull
in the case at that point.

- What the heck is a lull?
- A lull.

You know, like a lull.

Like, you're laughing out
loud?

No. Like a l-u-l-l, lull,

like a pause, like a break.

Oh yeah, there was a break
in the case.

Richard called us
and he had an update.

Well, that's not what I was...

Alright, can we get a mic
on him?

So I talk into this little
part, right here? There it is.

- It's good to see you.
- Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3.

- You guys got me?
- Yeah, I think so.

Alright.

- Who doesn't want the bacon?
- No bacon, over here.

- Alright, pancakes. I'll take-
- One more coming up.

Here, you can have this one.

Alright, good, good, good,
good.

So, I got a lead on
something really good.

- Thanks, man.
- Look at this, alright.

So, these are the different
areas we heard him in, alright.

So, this is where there
the original ping come from,

alright, but there's
an eight mile radius

of where it could be. Right?

But see, also this tower
is also hooked up over here.

I feel like uh, you know,

we have, clock is ticking here,
you know.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- What, do you have more leads?

No, I'll tell you what.

In order for things to happen,
right?

- And go a little bit faster.
- Yes. Right.

Right? A teeny bit more cash
is all I'm gonna need.

I can't keep opening up
my bank account.

Well, you're gonna have to.
Look how close we are on this.

Look how close we are on this.

And we already know the area,
basically, right.

And that's all it is,
right now. Right, okay?

So, I will dig a little bit
deeper,

find out exactly where
this address should be, right,

- and how safe the situation is.
- Mhm.

Because right now, I don't
think it's a safe situation.

- Right.
- Do not go here.

- You hear that?
- Yeah.

Do not go here.

It's dangerous.

- We won't go there.
- Right on.

So, Richard told us
to lay low.

Yeah, and he also told us
that David Stoner

was seven hours
away from us by car,

I mean, there's no way
we weren't gonna go there.

It felt like uh, my whole life
was leading up to this moment,

you know. Like, after all of
the research,

and all of the dreaming,
and all of the obsessing,

you know, we were actually
getting to do this.

It was real now.
And, and here we are.

We're gonna get to go
and hunt for a killer.

It's crazy. Lot more vans.

- What's up?
- Hey.

- What's up?
- You guys ready?

Where's, where's Adam?

♪ I got a brand new car!

What the hell is this?

Detectives don't drive
minivans?

- Let's go. It's rolling.
- It's going?

- Are you wearing makeup?
- Huh?

Are you wearing makeup?

Just gonna stop in the middle
of nowhere?

Huh?

You've had a drone
this whole time?

Yeah, of course
we have a drone.

We have the best cars,
we have the best equipment,

the best crew,
the best everything.

You gotta get those aerial
views,

- those sneaky detective views.
- Angles.

It's the, the drone.

I think I lost it.
I'm not touching...

- did you see where it went?
- Didn't go that way.

I, it's 100% it went in there.

Literally needle
in a haystack.

I-I hate you, so much.

Should we go in and help him?

You guys wanna help us
look for the drone?

We could use some extra eyes.

- He's just peeing.
- Why is he peeing?

He's not even really looking.

There's trucks coming on
this road.

I see that. We have a truck
coming behind us.

- Everybody watch out...
- This is fucking awful.

Oh. Jesus! Christ!

- You got it!
- Yeah, it's fucking broken.

Yeah, that's definitely
broken.

That's a wrap on the drone.

Well, at that point,
Stu broke the drone, and uh...

I-I broke the drone?
I didn't break the drone.

Well then, you just admitted
that you broke it.

No, I said I did not break
the drone.

- How would I break the drone?
- Who was holding the remote?

Well, who gave me the remote?
You!

Who was holding the...

That thing fucking fell out
of the sky.

I'm pretty sure, when
someone's holding the remote,

they are in physical control
of the drone.

I-I did not break that drone.
We, we called it a day,

at that point,
and decided to do some,

some more detecting
in the morning.

- Yeah, because we're both 5'7"
- Oh.

- Look at that...
- Does that guy look familiar?

- No, I haven't seen him.
- No?

- So, you have looked for him.
- That's why we're here.

This one smells a little bit
better.

- So, we'll take the whole floor.
- Yes.

Perfect.

I mean, I was told we were
staying in a hotel.

Not to be like, you know,
I'm not like spoiled.

- We are 31 years. - 31 years?
- Yes.

- Wow. Do you have kids?
- I'm 82 years old.

- You're not 82. Are you?
- Yes.

- You look fantastic.
- You see.

We've gotten our crew here
to set up a giant black light,

so that Adam can really see
this place

that he booked us to stay.

Adam bought a lot of expensive
crime scene equipment.

- I don't recall that.
- And uh, you know,

I wanted to get a chance
to practice with it

because, you know, practice
makes perfect.

Then, when we get to the real
crime scene,

we'll know how to use
the crime scene equipment.

What high tech crime scene
equipment did I buy?

But before you turn it on,

get him to tell us
what this is gonna show us.

Many bodily fluids
including semen,

sweat, saliva, blood.

My hands have not...

Ugh, ew! What's that?

- Ahh!
- Where is it?

No, there's definitely stuff
over here.

- This actually isn't so bad.
- This is clean.

That's a little sketchy.

- What the hell is that?
- Whoa, that's squirt.

Look at the wall.

What the fuck is going on here?

Ugh!

Ugh! Oh whoa, right here,

there's a crazy amount of semen.

We could've got hotels.
We could've got hotels.

We should've gotten a hotel.

I'm staying in the fucking car

that you paid money for.

- We have to stay here.
- I'm not staying here.

Holy shit.

This one, this one,
this one's fine.

What is going on
right now?

So, I have to stay um, I have
to stay up here a bit longer.

Okay, great. What do you
want me to tell you?

I'm not interested
in even hearing it.

Like, this is annoying.
You're annoying me.

Did, did the bank call
by any chance, or no?

No. Why?

No, they're not supposed to,
they're not supposed to call.

Why is the bank calling me?

I just wanted to see if
the bank, if they called you.

The budget, or the bucket?
The bucket?

There's no, the bucket's fine.
There's no whole in the bucket.

The bucket's, the bucket's
full. The bucket's good.

But there was a hole
in the bucket.

Listen, um, first off
just thanks so much

for not calling my wife or...

No, no, no, I don't want you
to call my wife at all.

I just want this
to be between you and I.

So, listen, the loan,

I mean that second loan
I need to take out.

The second mortgage, yeah.

Um, so I'd like to probably
go all the way with it then

if that's,
I'll take the max. Um...

I know.

I know. You said you got my
car, you got the house, you...

you know, you got it all.

Is it possible by Monday?

It's not possible by Monday.

Can I get it Monday night?

Look, I know
what I signed up for,

and there's no secrets here.

I mean, I knew exactly what
I had to do. I'm the producer.

Take drastic measures
sometimes.

Except there was secrets.

When you don't tell my sister,
your wife,

what you're doing to get money,

when you don't tell her,
that's a secret.

Yeah, totally that's a secret
from her, for sure. Yeah.

That's right.

We're here, you know walking
the streets,

trying to see if anybody
recognizes this guy.

- Do you recognize him at all?
- No.

Is there any crimes that
you've heard of that...

Yeah. Not really, huh?
Does he look familiar to you?

- No.
- Not at all?

There was one murder
a few years ago.

Yeah? No?

Never seen that guy?

- Seen this man?
- No, I have not.

No? Is there a part of town
where

you sort of stay away from,
or, pretty safe?

Does he look familiar?
Not at all.

- Why? What has he done?
- Well, we don't know,

but we think that he might be
in this town.

Guys, let's go!

Is this guy hiding?

Well, I think he probably
sees the cameras,

but we'll ask him.

Hi, sorry. How ya doin'?

- I'm fine.
- I'm Adam.

How are you? Do you mind if
we ask you a couple questions?

Okay. What's this about?

Just gonna put a sticker
on ya,

so we can't really show that on
television.

Does this look familiar to you?

No, but he, you know, he
looks like a lurker, to me.

- Yeah, definitely...
- He's definitely a lurker.

Sir, can you just define
what a lurker is?

Right, so now I'm lurking.
Right?

Yes.

Oh, you do? How do you
lurk? Can you show us?

He knows what a lurker is.

You know where he might be?
I've got a brother-in-law who,

where he lives,
there's a lot of...

Listen, there's a couple of
guys I wanna send over to you,

because they're looking
for one of the lurkers.

- What's your name again?
- Stu.

- Stu and?
- Adam.

Adam. Stu and Adam.
You wanna talk to him?

He's used the word lurkers.
Sorta hang out.

Sure. Well, we could actually
come meet your right now.

Hey, buddy. How are ya?

- So, what's over there?
- What's-what do you mean?

- What's over there?
- A house.

It's right behind these trees,
but at the end of this lane,

- you'll see it.
- We can all go?

Yeah! Yeah, go on up.

Alright.
This is uh, possibly a lead.

- Right here, that's the house.
- Is that it?

What is this place?
For sure?

How long has it been vacant
for, do you think?

Well, people got killed here.

Yeah. So, it's been vacant
since then?

- Yeah.
- And it's in there?

Or in, where did it happen?
Do you know?

In the house.

No trespassing by Order
of Canada.

Just watch your step.

Hello?

Hello?

- Where are you?
- I'm right here.

There's nobody living there,
for sure?

No, that's for sure.

Do you know someone named uh,
David Stoner?

- No.
- You've never heard of that...

That name does not ring
a bell.

A guy with like,
he's got like, two teeth?

- Mhm. I know guys like that.
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

We're gonna go.
False alarm.

Alright.

Definitely an eventful day.

We uh, you know
we had a false alarm.

But uh,

I feel really good about,
about this town.

I feel really good.

I think that we're close,

because you don't want your
bare skin touching

anything on this mattress

when you're sleeping head to
toe with your brother-in-law.

- Oh. Hey!
- Hey!

How are ya?

- How you guys doin'?
- Good, how are you?

Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah.

Just dropped by the office
to bring some information.

- Where are you guys?
- Oh, we're uh,

- we're not at the office.
- Yeah, I know.

I know, you're up in that
town where I told you...

No, we're not,
we're not up there.

- Oh yes you are.
- No, we're not.

I see you bouncing around
with the chap.

No, we're not.

Let me tell you something,
man. You guys are blowin' it.

Yeah, you really
are blowing it.

I want you to stay out
of the way!

You got that?!

I mean, you told us to lay
low. We're laying low.

You're lying to me again!
You wanna catch somebody,

it's better for them not
to know you're coming!

You got that?!

I'm telling ya, boy!

Still a cold case out there
that could be related to Stacy.

- Really? Yeah.
- You hear that?

So, what me want you
to do now.

Me want you to either go home,
that means back away!

Back away from this whole
scene, right?

Or, you can stay put.
Alright?

I mean, we'll stay put.
You're gonna call -

are you gonna call and tell us
when we can stop stay-putting?

Oh, I'm-I'm gonna get back
to you, right?

How the fuck did he know
we were here?

How did he know
that we were here?

That's fucking crazy.
We gotta lay low.

One second.

Did he just show
his ass hole?

I mean, you gotta,
you gotta keep going.

You can't just lay low,
you gotta,

you gotta keep on track.
You gotta go, go, go.

Yeah, well I actually took
laying low to mean sleep in,

and uh you know, if that's what
he meant, I could do that.

- He could, he could do that.
- Yeah.

Establishing shots?

Where's Stu?

- Still sleeping.
- Sleeping?

- Yep.
- Yeah?

Let's go wake that piece
of shit up.

As suspected.

Yo!

These guys have been working
for like, an hour already.

- Stop it, man.
- We're all waiting for you.

- Come on.
- Please.

I went for a jog,
went to town.

- Take a break.
- It's actually really nice.

- Take five.
- Look what I got.

- Illegal fireworks.
- Those are sparklers.

They're still illegal.

- How are you doing this to me?
- You wanted to make a movie.

I'm so, just take,
it's just like, I'm sleeping.

Well, sorry, bud.
It's the biz.

- Can I, can I pee?
- Go, pee!

The white car,
the body in the trunk,

the dog collar.

Is he dead?

Burn barrel.

And Stacy.
Okay. What?

Tattoo.

The tattoo.

Alright, great.
We have it all.

Right. Right.

- Like, it's all there.
- I agree.

We just need one of those
dominoes to fall,

and then everything comes
into place.

That's how these movies work.

So, now we just, we're supposed
to lay low and do nothing.

- Well... Zephyr?
- Zephyr.

The hamlet of Zephyr.

What's a hamlet?

I need gas.

Perfect.

And then, if I, if I have it
for just like a few weeks

then we kind of pay it back.

Like, a short-term loan.
Exactly. Okay.

Do you have the keys?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I can. I could totally
get that to you.

Hello?

Sorry about that.
Hey there.

- How's it goin', man?
- Hey, how are ya?

- Good.
- Good to see ya.

Protein bars
or anything like that?

- I saw there was in Aisle 4.
- Pizza!

- That's not healthy.
- Yeah, we've got pizza.

This pizza looks good!

Yeah, and there's protein on,
on it. There's some...

There's protein on the pizza.

What are you guys uh,
what are you guys filming here?

It's more like, like a
manhunt kind of thing.

Oh, like a house hunting show.

- Like house hunting.
- Right.

Except for, for a person.

Oh, okay.
So, like a dating show.

- Like a dating show. Exactly.
- Right.

You guys are looking
for love.

No, no, we're just looking
for this guy.

This guy.

Oh, I know that guy.

- You know this guy?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't like him,
but I know him.

What'd he do this time? Huh?

Adam!

Sorry, you like,
personally know him?

Yeah, again, I would not go
hunting him or his,

his house. I've delivered
pizza there many times,

but I wouldn't wanna go there,
just for fun.

Why not?
He's not a good guy?

No, his name is Glenn Santos.

- Glenn Santos.
- Glenn Santos.

- We're investigating him.
- Oh.

So, you are 100% certain

that this is Glenn Santos?

I'm 100% sure
on my mother's life,

that that is Glenn Santos.

Do you know his address?

- Am I gonna be in the film?
- Yes!

- Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
- 100%.

- Right now?
- Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

This is happening.

- Okay, we'll follow you.
- Yeah just...

You sure you don't want
a ride in the car?

Not too close.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm good.

- Okay.
- Thank you, though.

Cool, it's like a chase scene.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

He doesn't wanna get
in the car?

No.

Hey, you sure you don't wanna
hop in here?

Hop in?
Uh no, I'm good.

How much further?

- Watch out, there's a car!
- Yeah, we see.

Can you just slow down?
You're about to hit his tire.

I'm not gonna hit him.
He's fine!

Why don't you just put your
bike in,

put your bike in the trunk?

You're gonna put that bike
in that trunk?

Move your bag.
I'm good with that.

- Yeah, that's fine.
- That's good.

- Do you want me to drive?
- No, no, no.

Okay.

- So, just up ahead here?
- Yeah, just keep going.

Next stop, Glenn Santos.

You guys can continue on,
it's just there, but I'm out.

Wait, wait, wait,
where are going?

Uh, this is, this is it,
this is the house.

- I just, I'm good.
- You don't wanna see...

No, I'm good.

Sorry.

You're just gonna leave us?

Yeah, I'm-you wanted to be
here, I brought you here.

Um, but unless I gotta pizza
in my basket,

I'm not going near the place.

Sorry about that.

Good luck, though. Thanks.

- Okay.
- Weirdest guy.

So, now what do we do?

Okay, so this right here,
this is crunch time, right now.

You know, everything
is riding...

Just say it, just say it so
you're recalling it.

Don't say it like
it's happening now,

say it like it,
like it happened,

because you're telling them
what happened.

That's right. So, it's crunch
time, right now,

in the story that I'm telling,
it is crunch time.

If we don't move forward,
we lose all our money.

Game over.

And if we don't have a movie
to sell with our distributor,

then there's no sale
to a broadcaster,

and there's no money for us,
and there's company left over.

Right, and it's a real
chicken and egg kind of thing.

You know, you have to have
a project to make the sale

in order to have a project
to finish movies...

Enough with the analogies
just we have to go

- find the killer.
- You need to find the killer.

Can you see the front
of that house?

No. You wanna get out?

No. Just see
if someone's here.

- Okay, let's go.
- Give it a second.

We just pulled up,
we made all this commotion,

if someone's here, now's
the time we're gonna know.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Jesus Christ, man.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Stick together,
just be quiet,

and just keep rolling.

No matter what, keep rolling.

What is that?
What is that?

What do you see?

What?

- It's the burn barrels.
- What?

The burn barrels.
I'm not hopping that fence.

Just go hop the fence.
Just go.

No, it's so fucking scary.

Just go there and hop in.
Just go and hop.

I don't think there's
anybody here.

- Oh my god.
- Is that a car?

That's our fucking car.
Shh!

Shut the fuck up.
Stop. Stop.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

let's just see
if someone's here. Okay?

Oh my god!

Go! Get the fuck out of here.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

- Wait, go, go, go!
- Just go.

Do you think someone
was there?

Ugh!

Fucking, Glenn Santos.

Glenn fucking Santos.

Glenn Santos.

We got him! So, now we just
come back tomorrow.

We forgot the car.

Okay.

Shh.

Maybe that was just
a motion detector.

I say we stay here

and just watch the house
and see if he comes out.

Like a stakeout.

You just wanna stay here
overnight?

You guys wanna just hang back?

We're gonna stay up here
and do a little stakeout,

and uh, keep an eye up here.

So, you guys just stay
down there,

and we will keep you posted.

But definitely do not
come up here.

Okay, copy that.

So, what do we do,
we just sit here?

We should open one of these.

No, you can't open it.

- Why not?
- It's against the law.

I'm so parched.
Gimme a sip of that.

I don't share drinks.

Dude, just gimme it.
Gimme a sip.

What, I don't share drinks.

I'm asking you for a sip.

There's way too much
sugar in that. Thanks.

No thank you.
You can keep it.

Wait, do you wanna know,

like really fast way to make
like, 15, 20 grand?

Oh.

The problem with it,
is that it's at the hospital,

so when you're trying
to take people,

and you're like hey,

I got this great fucking new
deli that you've gotta try,

but then it's like,

you've gotta take them
to the hospital.

- So, it's kind of...
- Out of the way.

It kinda, well it just kinda
kills the vibe.

Is he sleeping?

Uh, I'm down to just stay up

and I'll keep lookout.

You can sleep if you want.

Start the car!

Everybody, wake up.
Everybody, 911.

Stop, stop, stop.
Wake up everybody.

We gotta get the fuck
outta here!

Go! Just go, just go,
just go!

Go back to the hotel, now!
Everybody leave!

- Fucking blew it.
- Oh my god!

We blew the whole thing.
We blew the whole thing.

- We blew it.
- Yeah.

Um, you know, he saw us.
He, for sure, saw us.

He, he saw us.

We went and we staked out
this guy's house last night.

It's enough. Like, I don't
even know what you're doing.

You're like,
doing sketchy things,

- so it's time to come home.
- Can't get enough...

The children are going
to be very upset.

They're like, crying for you
in the middle of the night.

It's rude. Enough.
Like, come home.

- Ask him if Stuart...
- Can I hang up?

My mom is screaming in the
background about Stuart.

What's she saying?

She wants to know why Stuart
hasn't called her

to say if he's safe, or not.

You didn't talk
to your mother?

Uh uh. I'm in the bathroom.

Yeah, you know,
at that point,

like everyone's just mad at us,

so my wife, Dena,
she's mad at us.

- Richard Lynn.
- He's mad at us.

- Come on.
- What's the new info?

Richard, Richard, Richard,
calm down, man,

we want, we want
the information.

- But, what is it?
- Let me talk. What is it?

- Richard!
- Here's Stu.

What, what's TTFN?

Ta ta for now?

All I know is this,

this guy right here,
we got him.

- We need to go into the trunk.
- Yeah.

If we can get into the trunk
and we can see

that there is a body
in that trunk,

it is game over.

Stacy's in that trunk.

You're probably right.

But it can't be us
because he's seen us.

Okay.

This really opened up
an opportunity

for someone on our crew
to step up

and be a hero, like us.

Um, you know, and they can
also get a credit upgrade.

Hold on, who's giving
credit upgrades?

That's what we are offering.

I hope that you're not giving
the upgrade, though.

No, no, you could...

Did you promise her
a certain credit?

We found this guy.
We are gonna go there.

We basically need to just
confirm one thing.

There is something that
we saw on the front lawn

that led me and us to believe

that there is potentially
the white car.

Right.

So, obviously, if you don't
wanna go, you don't have to.

I'm kinda scared.
I have goosebumps.

Really? So do I.
Like, literally,

- like literally I'm like... yeah.
- Oh my god.

Sorry.

- Okay. Hi.
- Oh, fuck.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Jesus Christ, bro!

Okay. What we're about to do
is a little risky, okay,

so safety first.

I want everyone
to come in here.

- Here, Stu...
- Whoa, Jesus.

Grab that.
Chest protectors.

Mikayla, those will fit you.

What is this?

- It's a bat!
- I know, but what do you...

I had to get some
non-traditional weapons.

What, did you think this
was a weapons store?

- I did get this, though.
- Oh Jesus...

Okay, everyone good?
Let's go.

Guys, we've worked fucking
so hard on this.

This is the night that
we're gonna fucking go

and we're gonna catch
Glenn Santos,

and we're gonna tell him
to kiss my grits, on three.

One, two three!

Kiss my grits!

I think it's like,
literally up here.

Do you see anything?

Nothin's gonna happen
because the guy's not there,

there's been nobody there
the whole night.

Remember I told we were gonna
be doing some crazy shit?

- I don't know, man.
- This is the crazy shit.

Oh no!

Dragon, are you there?
When's the last time you saw

anybody come in or out
of this place?

Alright, copy.

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Hold on. Just shut up!

Just come with me
for one second.

- Me?
- Yeah.

You're gonna go over there
with a baseball bat?

No, for one second.

We gotta get
in that trunk.

Guys, guys, get back!
Stu! Get back!

I just saw,
I just saw fucking lights.

Shh! Shh! Shh!
Just quiet, just quiet.

I just saw someone go in
the house.

Did you see that?

Oh shit, I did not see
fucking anything.

- Shut up! Shh!
- Did you see it? No?

I saw nothing.

Just get in the car.
Just get in the car.

- I didn't see anything.
- Just, I saw it.

Dude, we were right
fucking there.

Dude, get in the car.

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Get in the car.
- Did you see somebody?

- I didn't see anything.
- Guys, I looked,

I saw someone cross
in that fucking window.

- Get in the car.
- Fuck that.

- She's not going out there.
- You go.

I'm not going!

You're the one who fucking
called us back here.

There's nobody here.

Dude, okay so my eyes
are playing tricks on me.

I guess so, because
there's nobody here.

But she's not going,
and I'm not going.

I'm the producer.
She's not fucking going.

Well, I'm the director,
so Mikayla, do you wanna come?

Honestly like, this is too,
this is kinda fucked up for me.

Okay. I'm gonna go, then.

All of a sudden,
so fucking brave.

Door's in the front
of the car.

The door's in the front
of the car.

Door's in the front
of the car.

- Well, oh my god.
- Oh my god. Oh my god.

Did he get it?

Oh my god! Oh my god!
Oh my god!

- What the fuck is that?
- Oh my god.

Are you Dave?

I'm, I'm just,
is this car for sale?

Huh?

Can't we just talk
about this...

Come on, go!

Where's my fucking knife?
Where's my fucking knife?

I have to go fucking find him.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Oh fuck.

Just come in.
Just come inside.

Yes.

Come out! Come!
Come out!

Just come!

Hurry up!

He's coming, he's coming,
he's coming.

This, this is everybody.
This is everybody.

This is... This is everyone.

Okay.

I...

He doesn't like to share
drinks.

I don't, I don't,
I don't like to share drinks.

He doesn't like to share
drinks.

Here, I can do that.

No, no, I'll do it, I'll do it
for you. He's... I'll, I'll...

Test, test.

Loud and clear? Okay.

So, tell me again how
you've never heard of me,

but you just showed up
at my house

and make a documentary
where you wanna buy my car.

Okay, you found me.

You don't have to be shy
about it.

Let's all just be open
and honest

about our feelings
and what we're here for.

I should've known,

I should've known that
eventually some crazed fans

were gonna come up here and
try to meet the fucking legend.

Anything you wanna know
about me?

Too bad!

Get outside.
We're gonna go take a tour.

You're gonna love it.

Go, track pants, go!

Who the fuck wears camouflage
track pants?

Where'd he go?
Where'd he go?

It's working! I can't see ya!

Where are ya?
Oh, there ya are.

Okay, fucking move,
it's just trees here.

Alright.
Come on in.

Can you believe
you're fucking here?

- I can't believe we're here.
- There's mama.

- You seen her on the podcast.
- Yeah, I've seen here.

- There's a dead dog.
- That's the dog?

Mhmm.

Sit in the chair.
Sit in my chair.

- We'll take turns, take turns.
- Go ahead.

- No, you go ahead.
- Go ahead.

- Sit in the chair.
- Okay.

How's it feel?
You feel famous?

- Yeah.
- You look good.

Doesn't he look good?

Doesn't he look good, boys?

- Look at that!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah, I'm gonna fucking
shoot ya!

Make sure I'm in focus,
or I'll shoot ya!

Where's your focus,
motherfucker?

Okay, come on.

- Beautiful.
- Fucking water boy.

- Beautiful. Look at this.
- She's a beauty, isn't she?

This is what
we were here for.

She's a beauty.
My mama loved this car.

I love this car.
Can I look in the trunk?

No, you can't look
in the trunk.

You don't look in that trunk

until you purchase
this vehicle.

Okay. How, how much do you
want for the car?

How much, how much do you
want for the car?

$27,000.

I was thinking more like, 17.

17. Okay, you know what,
because I like you,

$27-fucking-thousand.

- I...
- I...

am buying this motherfucking
car... it's yours.

Keys are in it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

That's evidence, motherfucker.

And now, the final domino,
my friend.

There ya go, pop 'er open.

Whoa.

What the f...

- I know, I know.
- Is that Stacy?

No, man. Stacy's a
motherfucking mechanic.

I told Stacy, don't open
the fuckin' trunk.

Don't open the fuckin' trunk,

which I probably shouldn't
have said, in hindsight.

So, what happened to Stacy?

Well, you know,
he spread some shit

around town about me,
never fixed the car.

But I'm gonna get him back.

How are you gonna
get him back?

I'm gonna take him
to small claims court.

I'm gonna fuckin' kill him
in small claims court.

Alright,
you guys should go now.

Uh, good luck startin' her.

I don't even know
what just happened.

Oh yeah, I forgot -
kiss my grits!

Mikayla's gone.

Oh fuck.

Mikayla!

Mikayla!

Oh, she just texted me.

- Mikayla!
- She quit.

You, you've destroyed
this whole fucking thing.

- I did?
- You brought me on

to this whole fucking,
this is nothing.

- This is absolutely nothing.
- Oh, okay.

You wanted to fucking play
fucking detective.

And have all this fucking
shit come to life,

and now, look where the f...

You fucking bought a car,
okay?

You're gonna blame me?

You spent that fucking money,
not me!

Dena's gonna fucking...

she is gonna fucking kill me.

It's just money, man.

It's just fucking money.

This is what we have to do.

I mean, he's not a murderer,

so we make him a murderer.

We have to kill him.

We have to fucking kill him.
We kill him, we find...

What the fuck
are you talking about?

Just listen,
just hear me out.

We fucking kill him, we find
somebody to be a victim.

We've put him, people think...
we have a tape saying

he's a fucking killer!
What do you mean?

We fucking kill him.
We kill him!

We fucking kill him!
We kill him!

- And then he's dead.
- Have you officially lost...

And then there's a victim.

And we are there to save the
fucking day, and it's not over.

Who's gonna take care
of my wife and my kids

and my family?
My fucking house?

This is going to sound like
a fucking idiot, okay?

This is what you wanna do.
You gonna walk away?

- You gonna pay this...
- I swear to god,

- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

You think this
is a fucking game?

- You do! You fucking do!
- A fucking game!

Are you-are you crazy?
I have a fucking bat, man,

- and I'll fucking swing...
- You think I'm fucking scared

of that fucking bat,
little fucker!

Yeah, fuck off!
Just go.

Fucking idiot.

Fucking going to kill somebody.
You fucking...

Thinking about faking
a murderer?

I'm done with him. I'm...

Did he leave?

Do you have anything
more to go on besides

what you've seen here?

Who are you to go? If
this guy's really a criminal...

You and Stuart
are gonna go...

- We've been to the cops, yes.
- What did they tell ya?

That we didn't really
have anything.

Well, you don't.

You wanted to play
fucking detective.

Do not go here.
It's dangerous.

Kiss my grits.

We go back there.

You just keep rolling.

I'm gonna kill him.

Still got Adam's card
on the, on the account.

Hello.

- You know where you're going?
- Uh yes, uh, yeah.

Yeah? Okay.

You play baseball?
Like, the bat is with you.

Oh, no, no.

When I was a kid,
I played baseball.

- It's like a jungle.
- Yeah.

Hold these.

And do not stop rolling.

Yeah!

Ah!

Surprise!

Oh, you brought
an old baseball bat,

- did you, slugger?
- No, no, no. No, no.

Strike one!

- Oh! Oh!
- Strike two!

Strike three!

You're fucking out!

Oh fucker.

Oh!

Did you get all that?

The baseball - strike one?

Get up, motherfucker.

- Wait, I'm sorry.
- Get up.

- No, I don't wanna...
- Get the fuck up!

No.

Coming in to my house
to fuck me up?

No. No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Guess who's gonna get fucked?

I don't wanna get...

- No, no. No, please.
- There we go.

Ugh!

Make yourself at home.

Come on, get in here!

This is the fucking money shot,
this is!

I can't...

- What the fuck are you doing?
- I can't br...

What the fuck are you doing,
huh?

Ow!

Fuck!

Ah! Ah!

No...

What?

You motherfucker...

Stuart, come on, come on,
come on. Get up.

- You came back.
- I came back, I came back.

- You came. I love you, man.
- I came.

Let's get the fuck outta here.
Let's go!

You motherfucker!

You stabbed me. Eh?

Just... yeah.

You fucking stabbed me?

Ugh!

Ah!

Ugh! Fuck!

Let's go. Let's go. Come on.

- Wait.
- Get up. - Wait.

- What?
- Is he dead? Is he dead?

He's dead!

Check his pulse.

- Oh fuck.
- Check his pulse.

Damn.

What do you feel?

What do you feel?!

He's... he's not...

ah, fuck.

It was self defence.
It's perfect.

Yeah.

- Except...
- Okay.

it wasn't self defence
because you killed him.

What? I'm finished.

I-I have-I wanna go home.

I wanna go home to my wife,
I wanna go home to my kids,

I wanna leave. I'm done.

Right now, he's the victim.

We're the killer.
You're the killer.

You need a victim.

I'm going home.

Order a pizza right now.

Order a pizza.

Fuck. Just get a pepperoni?

No pork.

Just get a pizza over here.

Get a cheese pizza.

Terrific. Alright.

Fucking queers!

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

- Stop it!
- I got a plan.

You're gonna fucking
die here, motherfuckers!

- What kind of plan?
- Create a diversion.

- Truce! Truce!
- What the fuck is that?

Truce!

Truce. Stop, I'm gonna come.

- We're truce.
- Okay, come up.

- Truce. Ahhh!
- Fuck you.

Jesus, man!

Fuck your truce,
motherfucker!

Stop! It doesn't have
to do this, just stop!

- Truce!
- You, fuck you!

Truce. Let's just end this
right now.

What've you got behind
your back?

I don't got nothing
behind my back.

- What's behind your back?
- Fuck you,

What's behind your back!

- Okay, on three.
- On three. - On three.

- One,
- One.

Two!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I know.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Jesus Christ! What the fuck
did you do that for?

- Oh, did that hurt?
- That fucking hurt!

You been stabbed in
the fucking back before.

That fucking hurt!

Now, you're saying you need
a victim?

Uh oh.

Uh oh.

What have we got here?

What's this now?

The moment of truth? Is it?

Go ahead.

Kiss my grits.

Uh oh.

Aw. Aw.

You cry again like
a fucking baby.

I'm wanna go home.

What're you gonna do? Eh?

- What're you gonna do?
- Huh?

- What're you gonna do?
- Huh?

Ugh!

No! No!

Get him off of me!

Fuck!

Watch out. Watch out.
Watch out.

Alright.

- Let's take him.
- I need a moment.

Motherfucker.

Fucking piece of shit.

How ya doin' there, pal?

Kiss... my...

Hit him harder!

...grits!

Do you give up yet?

- Oh, it's funny?
- You better give up yet.

You better give up soon.

Gah!

Hey, what's goin' on, man?

Wait outside for a minute
there, guys.

Hey, good to see you.
Come on in.

Just walk straight back here.
Let's go.

- Hey.
- Right there.

Right there. Beautiful.

What's up, man? You good?

You good?

We have a victim.

Hold on, gotta -

Oh, come on.

Oh my god!
Oh my god!

Holy fuck! Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh... oh... oh...

Look-look-look.

- That fucking...
- Who the hell is that?

Is that fucking Stacy?
Is that fucking Stacy!

Is that Stacy!

Is that Stacy?
That's Stacy!

We were right!

I can't fucking believe it.
Dude, we were right!

I told you! I told you!
I fucking told you!

Hello, hello? Come out,
come out. Pick up, pick up.

What the fuck?

- Yes, yes, pick up.
- Hello?

Yes! Yes! Richard here.
Yes, yes!

Come on boys, pick it up,
pick it up.

Here. Hello? Yes!
You pocket calling, boy! Yeah!

- What the fuck?
- You fucked up.

- Richard?
- Whoa!

You're lookin' pretty rancid,
there.

Oh yes, man.

You did something stupid,
didn't ya.

I know ya did something stupid.

You're in some deep shit now.

Oh yeah. But you know what,

I can get you out of it,

because Richard Lynn
always delivers.

But you know,
it's gonna cost you

three times the amount
this time,

because you guys,
you are messed.

You're done.

It's gonna be three times
the rate, alright,

it's like when you're working
with the government.

When you work a stat holiday,
right? You get triple time?

Well, Richard Lynn is gonna
cost you triple time.

But I'll get you out of it.
Alright?

I can get you out of it.
Alright?

Believe it or not, um,
in the end, we were heroes.

Yeah, because David Stoner
was a killer.

Glenn Santos was a killer.
We were right!

And we were able to get off
on those charges

because of uh, self defence.

But uh,

you know the pizza guy,

he, well he died.

We killed him, so.

Yeah. Well,
we definitely killed him.

That's on us.

But we're working
on that right now.

We actually have a legal fund
that we're putting together

to try to fight that case,
and actually.

- Uh, show them.
- If anyone from uh,

Ziggi Papers happens
to be watching,

uh we can, oh,
well, you can have those.

Just get me the hell outta
here. Thank you.

- Are we done is that it?
- Just get me outta here.

I can't be one more second
with this guy

or I'm gonna fucking kill
myself.

Hey, if you happen
to speak to my mom,

can you tell her I'm good?
Alright, man. Okay.

Welcome back,
to tonight On Gord!

I'm your host, Gord.

What happens when
life imitates art,

and what happens when during
this imitation of art,

lives are lost?

With me tonight,
in this world exclusive,

is world-renowned
private investigator,

and bona fide film
producer, Richard Lynn.

Hey, thank you, Gordo.
Thanks for having me here.

Richard,
good to have you here.

So, explain to me,
at what point

you discovered you were
on to something big?

You see, as a producer,

I figured out
that true crime

is the hottest
thing coming up.

Right away, right
from the first meeting,

me knew something
was up.

But they were on
to something

really, really,
really good.

But they were too dumb,

so I figured I could
stay ahead of 'em.

When they found out
about the car,

I already knew
about the white car,

but they left me
with a perfect,

beautiful,
true crime story,

which in the end,

they end up doing it
themselves,

and now them paying
the price for it.

As a film producer, you need,
you need footage.

So, how did you
get the footage you needed

in order to produce the film?
How did that happen?

Oh, ya see, Gordo,

ya see when we catch him,
right,

all me did was go
to his camera guy,

we paid them,
and we got the footage.

Simple. Buy cheap,
and we sold high.

Exactly what a good
producer does.

And these guys,
they were so dumb,

they couldn't figure out
what they had going on.

What would you say is
their greatest regret?

If they would
have paid my rate,

everything would have
been so much different.

They'd be big ass movie
producers right now,

I be in my car,
working another job,

but instead,
they didn't pay my rate.

They're going to jail now.
I've got a list here -

let's look at some
of the things.

So, what you got? Let me see
what kind of stuff been done.

Things they spent
money on.

$7,500 on golf.

They had a Russian arm
camera rig rental,

- $25,000.
- Ooh, true.

But these two nitwits
spent

$64,000 on
a convertible car.

They also went
to a dentist,

they got nitrous oxide
tanks, $1,200.

They spent $1,100
on smoothies.

Cheers!

Their most careless,
and quite frankly,

reckless, item was
a massive house party.

These guys
are fucking idiots.

You said it right, Gordo!

Next week On Gord!

Our coverage of the trial
begins,

and you too can tune in
for the laughter,

because will justice
be served hot and fresh,

or will it die a horrible,

cold death,
like the poor pizza man?

We'll find out,
next time On Gord!

Yes, Gordo,
that was good, man!

- Or, get Tom in here.
- I told Tom.

- Maybe just like...
- Yeah, I'm gonna go...

This guy's always,
always doing a bit.

- Just get the T-zone.
- The T-zone.

That is the best
thing I've heard all day.

That's not a good
for this shoot.

If that's the best thing
you've heard today, that's bad.

- I'm kidding.
- The T-zone?

It was good for me.
It was a good joke for me.

I taught him about-
I taught him about the T-zone.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- He didn't know about a T-zone.
- He didn't know about...

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull