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1
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:25,022
# Sylvia... #
2
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,456
# Sylvia... #
3
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:39,264
# Sylvia #
4
00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:41,830
# Smile for me #
5
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:47,245
# Fill my world
with poetry #
6
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:53,344
# Forget those
faraway dreams #
7
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:58,722
# That haunt you #
8
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,024
# Sylvia #
9
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,328
# Young in years #
10
00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:09,529
# Let the sunshine #
11
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,335
# Dry your tears #
12
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:18,276
# And we
will walk in the wind #
13
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:22,714
# And stars #
14
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:28,710
# Like April lovers #
15
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:35,183
# With hearts aglow... #
16
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,465
Come on back
to bed, Sylvia.
17
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:46,165
Can't you see
I'm cooking scrapple?
18
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,767
It can wait.
Sex is in the air.
19
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:53,745
Not in here it isn't.
I got work, Vaughn.
20
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,771
Your mother
is up the store.
21
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:59,080
It's light out, for Christ's sake.
What's gotten into you?
22
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,020
Come on, move!
23
00:02:03,523 --> 00:02:08,153
#...Forget those
faraway dreams #
24
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:13,928
# That haunt you... #
25
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:21,203
God!
26
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,642
#...Let the sunshine #
27
00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:26,804
# Dry your tears #
28
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:34,287
# And we will walk
in the wind... #
29
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,312
Damn it!
30
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:42,221
Jesus Christ.
Oh-hh!
31
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:50,396
#...With hearts aglow #
32
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,404
# Till love discloses #
33
00:02:52,438 --> 00:02:57,307
# Where the secret
roses grow... #
34
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,311
You seen my keys?
35
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,745
Ow!
36
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,412
I said, have you seen
my keys?
37
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,421
Where did you
leave them?
38
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:12,652
If I knew where I'd left them, they
wouldn't be lost, would they?
39
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,490
Vaughnhole!
40
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:23,595
Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty!
41
00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:25,297
It's not my fault.
42
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:28,398
Somebody left his magazine on the front
porch and it got me all riled up.
43
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:31,535
Oh, sure,
"somebody left it."
44
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,273
sure, sure...
45
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,780
You said
you didn't want to.
46
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:37,783
I mean a man has needs, Sylvia.
Marital needs.
47
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:41,309
# My gal is red hot, yeah! #
48
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:43,684
# My gal is red hot #
49
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,691
# Your gal ain't
doodly squat #
50
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,693
# Well, she ain't got
no money, but man #
51
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,958
# She's really
got a lot #
52
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:54,091
# Well, I got a gal,
six feet four... #
53
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:56,795
Ooh.
54
00:03:56,836 --> 00:03:58,804
#...My gal is red hot #
55
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,430
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
56
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:04,068
# Yeah, my gal
is red hot #
57
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,907
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
58
00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:08,175
# Well, she ain't got
no money, but, man... #
59
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:11,479
Isn't it a little early
for that, Caprice?
60
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:14,042
I'm developing
my act, Mother.
61
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,454
Mutilating your mammaries
and gyrating down at some biker bar
62
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,186
is an act, all right,
an act of defiance.
63
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:23,389
I was a legend down at the Holiday
House, in case you didn't know it.
64
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,333
Morning, honey.
65
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,700
Daddy, let me go down to the bar
and perform.
66
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,602
You're in home detention,
cupcake.
67
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:35,335
The "government" wants you to stay
indoors for a while, huh?
68
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,206
You're just too pretty
to go out.
69
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:41,680
We let you keep your tawdry theatrical
mementoes. Isn't that enough?
70
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:46,014
You were convicted
of indecent exposure for the third time.
71
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,179
I was promoting
the art of dance.
72
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,052
With nude loitering?!
73
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:54,082
Nude and disorderly conduct?
Nude drunken driving?
74
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,325
I was not drunk.
I was on pills.
75
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:01,094
Something is the matter
with you, Caprice.
76
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,160
You are such a Neuter,
Mother.
77
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,364
And Neuters will never
understand.
78
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,136
Something is the matter
with your vagina.
79
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,443
Huh.
80
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:17,938
Morning,
Mrs. Stickles.
81
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:23,077
Oh, you brat!
I'm gonna report you.
82
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:25,784
Morning.
Formstone's looking good.
83
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,089
Ah, it's the real McCoy
all right, vintage.
84
00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:29,822
- Paid through the nose for it.
- Oh.
85
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:33,093
One thing we've learned-- proper
restoration never comes cheaply.
86
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:36,533
I need to go down to
the bar-- just for an hour!
87
00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:39,800
Come on, Dad, don't lock it.
Daddy, let me go!
88
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,740
My public needs me!
89
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:44,902
- Ooh!
- Mrs. Stickles,
90
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,276
my name is Fat Fuck Frank.
91
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,077
And I'm your daughter's
number one fan.
92
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,744
She moved to
the Erie Canal area.
93
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,548
Hey, Vaughn.
94
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,578
Hey!
95
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:58,590
Caprice retired
from show business.
96
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,387
She's no longer
a public figure.
97
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:04,055
Her name ain't Caprice,
it's "Ursula Udders." And she's famous.
98
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,395
She got the biggest tits
on Harford Road.
99
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,833
Ursula! Ursula Udders!
100
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,929
Texture, that's
what I call it.
101
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,667
It's me,
Fat Fuck Frank.
102
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,141
And I miss
them great big--
103
00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:21,607
Destroy all Neuters!
104
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:24,172
We sure didn't
have this in D.C.
105
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,846
God, I love Baltimore.
It's a real city of diversity.
106
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:32,119
Sylvia! Sylvia,
we need gas, honey!
107
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:35,150
Get gas.
108
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,662
Honey,
still mad?
109
00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:41,827
Remember to fill it up.
I'll walk, don't worry.
110
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,239
Hmm?
111
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,675
Ugh!
112
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:03,416
# Smokey the bear,
Smokey the bear #
113
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:06,050
- # Prowling and a-growling... #
- Grr!
114
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,026
Hi! Grrr-rr! Woof!
115
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:11,587
- Grrr!
- Woof! Woof!
116
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,998
# That's why they called him Smokey,
that is how he got his name... #
117
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,966
- Hi, Vaughn.
- Morning, Betty.
118
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,909
Does the Pinewood
Park-and-Pay sell lotions?
119
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,572
You know--
ointments?
120
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,581
We sure do.
121
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,876
How is that fine wife
of yours doing?
122
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,822
She's up at the store
like always, Wendell.
123
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:40,121
Don't you
find it funny
124
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:45,222
that every man
in this neighborhood has a penis?
125
00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:46,993
Well, not really,
Betty.
126
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,377
Sheeze...!
127
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,178
Ugh!
128
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,389
Oh, don't.
129
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,423
Jesus, Mary,
and Joseph!
130
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,094
Oh!
131
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,261
#...Whoa, whoa-whoa #
132
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:28,603
# I need your loving-- #
oh, that's it, babe.
133
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,075
That's it, oh-oh-oh.
134
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,135
Oh, God!
135
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,644
Ooh, that's it, baby.
136
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:41,141
Oh, talk to the mike,
talk to the mike. Ooh-ooh.
137
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:49,218
Oh, that's what
I call a hum job. Oh, yeah.
138
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:55,627
Come on.
139
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:58,398
Oh, okay.
140
00:08:58,437 --> 00:09:00,837
I'm out of gas.
141
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,568
Move it, Neuter!
142
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,941
- Oh, God!
- How am I supposed to move with no gas?
143
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:12,174
Get out of the way!
We're in a hurry.
144
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,349
# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! #
145
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,824
- Filthy little hedges.
- Morning, Marge.
146
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,762
Growin' all dirty,
makes me sick.
147
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:34,971
Hi, I'm "Mama Bear."
148
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,066
have you met
my hus-bear?
149
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:38,633
No, I haven't.
150
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,646
I'm "Papa Bear."
151
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,116
And this is our cub,
"Baby Bear."
152
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,549
Grrr!
153
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:49,351
I'm Vaughn. Welcome
to the Harford Road area.
154
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,856
When we take over,
it's gonna be a--
155
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:54,382
"Bearquake!"
156
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,456
#...Happy, happy, happy #
157
00:09:57,496 --> 00:10:00,659
# With a big bear hug. #
158
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,100
- Come on.
- Move that piece of shit.
159
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:04,659
Can you call
Triple-A, please?
160
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,007
Hurry up,
I've got a hot date.
161
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:14,012
What, at 7:00 a.m.?
What's the matter with you?
162
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,480
You'd have a date too
if you wore some make-up.
163
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:18,881
- Your poor husband.
- Huh?
164
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,421
Ooh-hh!
165
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,019
If you could just
help me, I'd--
166
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,359
Ooh!
167
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,135
It's her!
168
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,436
Let's go sexing.
169
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:53,711
# Sylvia... #
170
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,066
Oh!
171
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,576
Ooh!
172
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:25,944
Hello, ma'am.
173
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,443
My name is Ray Ray
and I'm here to-- service you.
174
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:35,420
I'm Sylvia,
and I hit my head. Oh.
175
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:42,029
A concussion
is a terrible thing
176
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,730
to waste.
It's okay.
177
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,136
Ooh!
178
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,607
My pussy's on fire.
179
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:52,270
I know it is.
It's a burning bush.
180
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,643
Show me a sign, Sylvia.
181
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,614
We knew you'd come.
182
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,584
All I can do
is pass the gift.
183
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,142
Huh?
184
00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:05,351
You're a sex addict now
and you'll never be the same.
185
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,593
Ooh-aah--!
186
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,712
There you go.
187
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,809
All better?
188
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:36,310
Oh, thank you so much.
189
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,846
I don't know
what came over me.
190
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:42,383
Well, you recognized the concussion
and there's no going back now.
191
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,790
I'm gonna give you
my card.
192
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,132
Sex addicts
are everywhere, Sylvia,
193
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,695
and pretty soon,
Harford Road will be ours.
194
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:58,899
Oh, hey, hold on.
195
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:19,893
Ray Ray
is a sexual healer.
196
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:23,925
Come visit us,
Sylvia.
197
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,962
Your people
are waiting.
198
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:29,201
Oh.
199
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:33,007
One day we're going
to discover a brand new sex act,
200
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:35,206
one that's never
been performed before.
201
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:39,115
And we hope you'll be
with us on that day of carnal rapture.
202
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,725
Ooo.
203
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,034
Ah.
204
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,218
# Pussy, ooh... #
205
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:26,925
# Sore, wet, ooh... #
206
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,998
# My pussycat was scratching out
on my back door... #
207
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:42,169
#...Scratched so long
poor pussy got sore #
208
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,307
# Sore pussy, ooh... #
209
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:48,343
# Sore... pussy... ooh #
210
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,049
# Just a friendly
little cat #
211
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,149
# Friendly little cat #
212
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:57,458
# My pussycat
was sitting out on the front step #
213
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:01,830
# Sat so long poor pussy got wet,
sore pussy. #
214
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,766
Hello, Mrs. Stickles.
215
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,274
Oh boy, am I blushing?
216
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,437
Everyone is familiar with
the traditional forms of pornography.
217
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,276
But the Internet
is creating new forms--
218
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:17,976
- You going to the movies, Dave?
- Huh?
219
00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:19,985
Hell, you're picking
your seat, aren't you?
220
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,289
Dykes!
221
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,089
Used to be Harford Road
was for families.
222
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,119
Now it's
a lesbian aorta.
223
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:34,826
Mother,
I don't feel well.
224
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,801
Well, no wonder,
225
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:39,827
they've got blatant homosexuals
shopping right in our store.
226
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:42,204
They eat life,
you know.
227
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,835
- Jesus!
- Sperm!
228
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,353
Did you see those
new neighbors moving in?
229
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:58,982
Hmm? Grown men with
hairy legs prancing around half naked--
230
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:02,721
"We're bears." what the hell is that
supposed to mean?
231
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,729
Free country,
Big Ethel.
232
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,630
Yeah well, we got laws
to protect decency.
233
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,634
And it would
be nice
234
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:12,136
if somebody enforced them.
19, 20.
235
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:14,298
Well, as my mother
used to say--
236
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:17,832
"'Each to their own,' said the old lady
as she kissed the cow."
237
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:30,352
Perverts are taking over
this neighborhood.
238
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,285
Ugh! Mr. Mailman,
as of next week,
239
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,261
we're not carrying
the girlie magazines no more.
240
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,264
That's a shame.
241
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:43,166
Makes me sick to see government
employees looking at that filth, Marge.
242
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:46,831
And on taxpayers' time yet.
That's why the mail's late.
243
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:49,932
Yeah, and the post office has the nerve
to raise the price of a stamp.
244
00:16:49,975 --> 00:16:52,910
While mailmen are
beating off everywhere.
245
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:57,541
I found a used condom
in my back yard.
246
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,414
You think that's bad?
247
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:01,248
Somebody wrote
the word "boner"
248
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,049
on our parking lot wall
last night.
249
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:05,454
We've got to do something,
Marge.
250
00:17:09,728 --> 00:17:11,821
People have got to know
how bad things are getting.
251
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,889
No wonder I've got
to take heart pills.
252
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,422
I read in the paper
the other day
253
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,834
that the average married couple has sex
over 100 times a year.
254
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,602
That's a lie.
People would be raw if that was true.
255
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:26,270
I'll be at your meeting all right,
with bells on.
256
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,905
You have, uh, AAA batteries?
257
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:31,040
I certainly do.
258
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,413
You sure these
are the right ones?
259
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,618
You want me
to take them out?
260
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:42,092
No, no, I guess I'll buy them.
261
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:45,062
Well, get down there,
mutha, and start scarfing.
262
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,190
What the hell?
263
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:51,794
I mean, Jesus...
for Christ's sake! I'm moving to Towson.
264
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,328
Harford Road--
where life is cheap.
265
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:57,536
- Only you can prevent fornication.
- Yeah, yeah.
266
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,409
You see, Marge?
People in the neighborhood have had it.
267
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,209
It wasn't this bad
in the '60s.
268
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:03,737
You're right.
269
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:07,411
Someone left a dildo
in my neighbor's wishing well,
270
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,751
right on her
front lawn.
271
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,983
People are just ignorant
everywhere.
272
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:15,318
Morning, Big Ethel.
273
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,624
Uh, what's good about a morning
with dildos in it?
274
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:22,157
Amen to that.
My husband's on Viagra.
275
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,863
- Oh, you poor thing!
- Every minute, he wants it.
276
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:26,871
He has no right
to be that hard.
277
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,999
I'm Viagra-vated
and I'm not gonna take it anymore.
278
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,755
Sylvia!
279
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,757
Feeling better,
huh?
280
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,364
Mail here
for Ursula Udders.
281
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,730
Her name is Caprice
and she's got shingles.
282
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:59,259
Our daughter doesn't really participate
in the mail these days.
283
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,831
I'll take the fan mail to her, Warren.
Don't you worry.
284
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:06,003
You should be ashamed of yourself,
Mr. Mailman.
285
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,035
Ashamed of what,
Big Ethel?
286
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:15,314
- Damn, I could deliver that one.
- Oh, keep it up.
287
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:19,222
I'm gonna call the Postmaster general--
If he's not whacking off--
288
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,317
and report
your potty mouth.
289
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,659
Sex addicts
are everywhere, Sylvia.
290
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,687
You wanna
have funch?
291
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,700
What's "funch,"
honey?
292
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:32,170
Fucking
after lunch.
293
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:35,037
Funch, huh?
294
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:38,372
Come on.
This must be my lucky day.
295
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:41,311
- Hmm, spaghetti...
- Yeah, she'll ring it up for you.
296
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,576
Where do you two
think you're going?
297
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,583
It's not safe out.
298
00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:47,847
People are shaving
their crotches as we speak.
299
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:50,514
There's pubic hair
in the air everywhere.
300
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,217
We're having
a decency rally,
301
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,623
and I think you two
need to be there.
302
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,957
Yeah.
303
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,940
# I've got hot nuts #
304
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,773
# 10 cents a bag... #
305
00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:15,678
- What kind of station is that?
- A good one.
306
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:18,308
#...I've got hot nuts... #
307
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,682
- Feeling frisky, eh?
- Uh-huh.
308
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:23,244
Let's open one of Caprice's
fan letters.
309
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,256
That's her
personal mail.
310
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,225
Oh, look...
311
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:32,822
it's from the mailman. He sent Caprice
a photo of his penis. Ooh!
312
00:20:32,864 --> 00:20:34,832
He what?
313
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:37,801
Are you kidding me?
Give me the picture.
314
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:41,738
Give me the picture. Give me the pic--
I'm not kidding around.
315
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,105
This is disgusting.
316
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,837
Well, he's got
a big one.
317
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,845
What kind of talk
is that?
318
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:50,074
Oh, they're all photos
of the mailman's unit.
319
00:20:50,115 --> 00:20:52,106
I'm calling
the cops.
320
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,983
Yes, sir,
a real arse-opener!
321
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,351
Stop it, Sylvia.
322
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:59,414
Pink steel!
323
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,755
What's the matter
with you?
324
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:04,091
Hey, Vaughn,
feel like "yodeling in the canyon"?
325
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,632
We have to visit
my mother, remember?
326
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,396
Oh, come on,
you wanted to earlier.
327
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,426
Well, not that,
I didn't.
328
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:15,929
Come on, Vaughn,
discover the oyster.
329
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:18,465
Honey, this is Pinewood Avenue.
We live here.
330
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:20,478
Can't we wait
till we get back to the house?
331
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,571
Oh, go "way down
South in Dixie."
332
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:25,014
All right, all right,
just keep a look out.
333
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,541
Okay.
334
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:33,653
Oh-hh!
335
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:34,989
No--!
336
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,052
Oh!
337
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:40,690
Now that's what I call
"sneezing in the cabbage."
338
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:44,424
Oh!
339
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:49,506
Harford Road,
let's all band together.
340
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:53,341
Horndogs are everywhere.
Pretty soon they'll be living next door.
341
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:57,838
Decency, that's all
I'm asking for. Decency!
342
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:06,820
Decency's fine.
343
00:22:06,858 --> 00:22:09,520
But diversity in a neighborhood
is a good thing too.
344
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:12,792
This isn't diversity,
it's depravity.
345
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,425
On my way over here,
I saw a man
346
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:17,731
performing oral sex
on a lady
347
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:20,499
in a car
in broad daylight.
348
00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,964
Lesbians have taken over
the softball fields.
349
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,671
So? Lesbians are
good neighbors.
350
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:29,340
We need to start by teaching tolerance
in our own homes.
351
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,942
Some guy was playing with himself
near me in the movies.
352
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:36,420
You're saying that's normal?
His crotch was shaved!
353
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:40,387
These are isolated
incidents.
354
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:42,393
No, they're not.
355
00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:45,294
Look, I'm not a prude.
I'm married to an Italian.
356
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:47,628
But I am disgusted.
357
00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:50,328
I live near what they call
"The Bear House."
358
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,564
Last night,
359
00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:55,903
hairy, overweight men
who call themselves bears
360
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,569
were having sex
outside the house.
361
00:22:58,610 --> 00:23:00,510
My children heard them.
362
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:03,673
"Mommy, what's that noise?"
They actually asked me.
363
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,115
I raced outside
clapping my hands loudly
364
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:09,245
and I yelled--
"No blow jobs!"
365
00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:11,255
And they just laughed.
366
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:14,918
Some of them
even growled at me.
367
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,258
Oh, no!
368
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:19,354
Today, somebody
called me a Neuter.
369
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,662
And you know what?
I didn't mind.
370
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:24,260
If neuter means "normal,"
I'll say it loud--
371
00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:26,964
I am Marge, the Neuter,
and I'm proud.
372
00:23:27,005 --> 00:23:28,700
That's right!
373
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:35,276
We're all Neuters!
374
00:23:35,313 --> 00:23:38,874
And we'll never,
never be not normal!
375
00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:46,421
# You put your left foot in,
you put your left foot out #
376
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:49,188
# You put your left foot in #
377
00:23:49,227 --> 00:23:50,819
# And you shake it
all about #
378
00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:54,320
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around #
379
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:57,597
- # That's what it's all about #
- # Right arm! #
380
00:23:57,636 --> 00:24:01,231
# You put your right arm in,
you put your right arm out #
381
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,902
# You put your right arm in
and then you shake it all about... #
382
00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:12,479
# Left arm! #
383
00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:16,544
# You put your left arm in,
you put your left arm out #
384
00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:20,718
# You put your left arm in
and then you shake it all about #
385
00:24:20,759 --> 00:24:23,819
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around #
386
00:24:23,862 --> 00:24:25,762
# That's what
it's all about #
387
00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,628
# Right elbow! #
388
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:31,602
# You put your right elbow in,
you put your right elbow out #
389
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:35,163
# You put your right elbow in
and you shake it all about #
390
00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,471
# You do
the Hokey-Pokey... #
391
00:24:37,509 --> 00:24:39,670
Hi!
392
00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:42,874
- # That's what it's all about... #
- Hey, Mom.
393
00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:46,441
# You put your left elbow in,
you put your left elbow out...#
394
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:50,444
- Come on, let's dance.
- # And then you shake it all about... #
395
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,185
# Head! #
396
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:01,791
# You put your head in,
you put your head out #
397
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:05,530
# You put your head in
and you shake it all about #
398
00:25:05,570 --> 00:25:09,666
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around #
399
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:12,006
# That's what
it's all about #
400
00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:13,772
# Right hip! #
401
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:16,838
# You put your right hip in,
you put your right hip out #
402
00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:20,409
# You put your right hip in
and you shake it all about #
403
00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:24,946
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around #
404
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,890
# That's what
it's all about #
405
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:28,483
# Left hip! #
406
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:32,054
# You put your left hip in,
you put your left hip out #
407
00:25:32,097 --> 00:25:35,931
# You put your left hip in
and you shake it all about... #
408
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,101
# Whole self! #
409
00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:47,373
# You put your whole self in,
you put your whole self out #
410
00:25:47,412 --> 00:25:51,075
# You put your whole self in
and you shake it all about #
411
00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:54,677
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around #
412
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:57,381
# That's what it's
all about #
413
00:25:57,422 --> 00:25:59,014
# Backside! #
414
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:02,390
# You put your backside in,
you put your backside out #
415
00:26:02,427 --> 00:26:06,761
# You put your backside in
and you shake it all about
416
00:26:06,798 --> 00:26:09,665
# You do the Hokey-Pokey
and you turn yourself around... #
417
00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:16,067
Ooh!
418
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:21,140
# You do the Hokey-Pokey #
419
00:26:21,179 --> 00:26:24,376
# You do the Hokey-Pokey... #
420
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:27,681
# That's what it's all about. #
421
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,621
Sylvia!
422
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:23,898
Oh!
423
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,944
Oh! Oh!
424
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,495
Taxi! Taxi!
425
00:29:06,878 --> 00:29:09,779
Ray Ray's service center,
6630 Harford Road.
426
00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:11,076
Yes, ma'am.
427
00:29:16,454 --> 00:29:18,115
Uhh.
428
00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:23,224
Hey, lady, you can't
change your clothes in here.
429
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:26,059
- Why not?
- 'Cause I said so.
430
00:29:27,665 --> 00:29:29,496
Want some fun?
431
00:29:29,534 --> 00:29:32,526
What are you doing?
432
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:39,034
- Can I get up front?
- No, you can't.
433
00:29:39,077 --> 00:29:42,604
- You can leave the meter running.
- Stay in the back.
434
00:29:42,647 --> 00:29:46,606
- Oh, come on, I want some action.
- Get off me, lady.
435
00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:49,984
Hey-- you can't do
that stuff in here.
436
00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:52,990
- Get out!
- This cab free?
437
00:29:53,024 --> 00:29:55,117
Sure is, tiger.
438
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,789
Hey, hey, hey!
Jeez!
439
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:02,425
Go! What the hell
was that?
440
00:30:04,836 --> 00:30:06,667
Oh.
441
00:30:10,208 --> 00:30:12,768
- # Mommy told me something... #
- Traitor!
442
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,779
That's right,
spread the word.
443
00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,543
You bet, Big Ethel.
444
00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:20,745
Here, put the pink ones
on the cars.
445
00:30:20,785 --> 00:30:22,582
Put the yellows
on the houses.
446
00:30:22,620 --> 00:30:25,248
Put that
on the windshield.
447
00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:28,054
And don't stop till you get to the end
of the block.
448
00:30:31,029 --> 00:30:35,591
# He will never
ever leave you if your heart... #
449
00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:38,659
- Who is it?
- It's Big Ethel.
450
00:30:40,071 --> 00:30:42,369
We're having
a decency rally--
451
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,568
You better start
in your own backyard then.
452
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,203
I heard your daughter Sylvia
picked up a bottle
453
00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:49,440
with her cooter
in the old folks' home.
454
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,415
She what?
That's not true.
455
00:30:52,450 --> 00:30:55,317
My daughter is a good girl.
She hates sex.
456
00:31:01,459 --> 00:31:03,450
What is she talking about,
that bitch?
457
00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:28,815
Hello?
458
00:31:31,823 --> 00:31:34,348
Ray Ray?
459
00:31:35,860 --> 00:31:39,728
It's me, Sylvia.
And I need full service.
460
00:31:39,764 --> 00:31:42,324
I knew you'd find us,
Sylvia.
461
00:31:44,302 --> 00:31:49,103
Don't be afraid. We've all had
accidental concussions just like you.
462
00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:51,700
- You have?
- Yeah.
463
00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:54,644
Mine was from the faulty hood
of a customer's car
464
00:31:54,679 --> 00:31:57,512
that collapsed on my head
while I was changing the oil.
465
00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:05,355
And now I guide other
head-injury sufferers
466
00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:08,086
to the final dawn
of sexual awakening.
467
00:32:08,126 --> 00:32:11,459
- You've been sent to help us.
- I have?
468
00:32:11,496 --> 00:32:15,296
We're all sex addicts
and we have been waiting for you.
469
00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:17,995
- But why?
- Because you can lead us
470
00:32:18,036 --> 00:32:22,632
to an erotic orgasm
we've never experienced.
471
00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:24,505
I can't.
I promise you I can't.
472
00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:26,305
I'm Loose Linda.
473
00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:30,474
I fucked the entire
Harford Road Police Department.
474
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,506
It's nice to meet you,
Loose Linda.
475
00:32:34,619 --> 00:32:36,587
Until you've hit your head,
476
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:39,784
you can never really feel
the power you get from sex.
477
00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:42,384
My name is Paw Paw.
I'm on "bush patrol."
478
00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:44,395
I hope we can
have sex one day.
479
00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:46,863
I'd like that, Sylvia.
480
00:32:49,934 --> 00:32:53,563
I knew you'd come.
You're number 12.
481
00:32:53,604 --> 00:32:56,232
- Number 12 what?
- All in good time.
482
00:33:04,182 --> 00:33:06,150
Dave, is that you?
483
00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:09,347
We call him Dingy Dave
and he's number three.
484
00:33:09,387 --> 00:33:12,686
Don't worry, Mrs. Stickles,
you'll understand soon.
485
00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:15,852
Dingy Dave is lucky.
He's into mysophilia.
486
00:33:15,893 --> 00:33:19,385
It's a sexual attraction to dirt.
He thought it was new.
487
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:21,398
But it wasn't.
488
00:33:21,432 --> 00:33:24,765
Dirt worship's been around long
before my accident.
489
00:33:24,802 --> 00:33:27,532
I just didn't know.
490
00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:29,665
Ray Ray
491
00:33:29,707 --> 00:33:33,336
has helped me understand
my hypersexuality.
492
00:33:33,378 --> 00:33:37,075
And he cured me
of my herpes.
493
00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,345
Like a miracle.
494
00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:41,352
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no.
495
00:33:41,386 --> 00:33:43,786
We don't say the "m" word
around here.
496
00:33:43,821 --> 00:33:47,757
- Oh.
- Mrs. Stickles?
497
00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:50,784
May l, uh, be
your vacuum cleaner?
498
00:33:50,828 --> 00:33:54,594
Well, I'm new to this,
but I'll try.
499
00:33:59,837 --> 00:34:02,965
Oh!
500
00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:05,805
Oh!
501
00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:09,610
It's like Noah's ark
around here.
502
00:34:09,647 --> 00:34:12,411
There is one
of every perversion.
503
00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:16,716
But, alas, it's all
been done.
504
00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:18,847
Brace yourself, Sylvia.
505
00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:21,188
Got company!
506
00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:23,159
Officer Alvin!
507
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:28,929
I'm an adult baby, Sylvia.
You want to be my mommy?
508
00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:31,025
Adult babies are into
age regression.
509
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:33,765
They intensely eroticize
being infants.
510
00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:36,103
And sometimes they like
to be burped.
511
00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:39,906
I'm a big boy and
I'm beyond the law.
512
00:34:41,979 --> 00:34:43,947
# Bouncy, bouncy,
bouncy... #
513
00:34:43,981 --> 00:34:46,006
As you grow to embrace
your concussion,
514
00:34:46,050 --> 00:34:48,018
you'll learn to accept
anything sexual
515
00:34:48,052 --> 00:34:50,816
as long as it's safe,
consensual and doesn't harm others.
516
00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:53,585
You wanna powder
my chafed butt?
517
00:34:53,624 --> 00:34:55,285
Uh, I would,
518
00:34:55,326 --> 00:34:58,659
but I'm supposed
to help Ray Ray think up a new sex act.
519
00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:00,323
Maybe later.
520
00:35:00,364 --> 00:35:03,026
Da-da...
521
00:35:04,235 --> 00:35:06,362
Number five,
six and seven.
522
00:35:06,404 --> 00:35:08,804
You may know us
as neighbors, Sylvia,
523
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,741
but in this world,
we're into human sandwiches.
524
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,641
One day, we hope
you'll be our "lettuce."
525
00:35:18,983 --> 00:35:22,111
- You know about my Priority Penis.
- Oof! Ow!
526
00:35:22,153 --> 00:35:24,121
I never thought
it would be you.
527
00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:26,783
Come on and meet
the "Three Bears."
528
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:33,752
We're husky, we're hairy,
we're homosexual
529
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,789
and out of
the second closet.
530
00:35:35,833 --> 00:35:38,802
And we can cuddle
all night.
531
00:35:38,836 --> 00:35:42,431
Yeah, hunting for some grizz-sm...
532
00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:51,179
Ever hear
of sploshing?
533
00:35:51,215 --> 00:35:53,877
I only had my concussion
this morning.
534
00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:55,977
It's okay.
It's an English fetish.
535
00:35:56,020 --> 00:35:58,147
Sploshing is
the erotic urge
536
00:35:58,189 --> 00:36:00,248
to dump food
in your private area.
537
00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:05,659
Oh-ooh!
538
00:36:05,696 --> 00:36:07,891
I'm Messy Melinda
539
00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:10,059
and our bushes
will burn together.
540
00:36:10,101 --> 00:36:14,037
And of course you know
of Fat Fuck Frank.
541
00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:16,631
Mrs. Stickles, go home
and free your daughter.
542
00:36:19,810 --> 00:36:22,870
She's one of us
and needs to be here now.
543
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:31,053
I'm number 11.
544
00:36:31,088 --> 00:36:33,454
Number 11?
545
00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:46,164
Oh, my God!
I'm the 12th apostle?
546
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:47,728
- Yes, shh.
- Say it proud.
547
00:36:47,772 --> 00:36:50,400
If you say it out loud,
you might disappear.
548
00:36:50,441 --> 00:36:52,306
No, no, no, I'm just
Sylvia Stickles.
549
00:36:52,343 --> 00:36:54,971
I'm a horny woman
with a head injury. I can--
550
00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:58,573
I know you are and we're
gonna do something about that.
551
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:02,515
Ray Ray
is a sex saint,
552
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:06,114
- and he's got powers.
- Amen to that.
553
00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:17,491
I've got a hard-on
of gold,
554
00:37:17,535 --> 00:37:20,936
and my tongue
is on fire.
555
00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,673
Oh, and I've got
hot pants, Ray Ray.
556
00:37:24,709 --> 00:37:27,542
We're all in heat.
557
00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:30,445
And as you know, Sylvia
is a cunnilingus bottom.
558
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:31,573
Yes, she is.
559
00:37:31,616 --> 00:37:33,481
Who wants
to eat her out?
560
00:37:35,820 --> 00:37:38,755
Let's go sexing!
561
00:37:38,789 --> 00:37:41,121
Yeah!
562
00:37:43,327 --> 00:37:46,296
Jesus Christ,
how many houses do I gotta go to?
563
00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:49,026
Who is it?
564
00:37:49,066 --> 00:37:51,591
It's Big Ethel
from up the Park-and-Pay.
565
00:37:51,636 --> 00:37:53,604
We're having
a decency rally tomorrow.
566
00:37:53,638 --> 00:37:56,163
We want all Neuters
to be there.
567
00:37:57,408 --> 00:37:59,376
What's a Neuter?
568
00:37:59,410 --> 00:38:02,277
It's a normal person who
is fed up with perversion.
569
00:38:02,313 --> 00:38:03,439
Sign me up then.
570
00:38:03,481 --> 00:38:06,541
Tonight a woman in my cab
tried to grab my nutsack.
571
00:38:06,584 --> 00:38:09,109
Oh, it's a sick world!
572
00:38:11,422 --> 00:38:13,049
# I don't know how it started
I don't know what I did #
573
00:38:13,090 --> 00:38:15,251
# I don't know how it started
i don't know what I did #
574
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:18,456
# But there's a gal who's chasing me
who really flipped her lid #
575
00:38:18,496 --> 00:38:21,260
- Hey!
- # I call her my eager beaver baby #
576
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,824
# Ooh, eager beaver
baby... #
577
00:38:23,868 --> 00:38:26,063
- Was that Sylvia Stickles?
- I think it was.
578
00:38:26,103 --> 00:38:27,730
What happened
to her?
579
00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:31,640
I don't know, but
it's a dirty shame.
580
00:38:34,745 --> 00:38:37,111
#...Well what am I
gonna do #
581
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:41,881
# With that eager beaver
baby of mine? #
582
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,085
Hello, Vaughn.
583
00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:50,255
Hello, Betty.
Have you seen my wife?
584
00:38:50,294 --> 00:38:52,194
Come on in.
585
00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:56,188
No, I can't.
Sylvia seems to be missing.
586
00:38:56,233 --> 00:38:58,394
I was with her
earlier, but--
587
00:38:58,436 --> 00:39:00,836
Maybe she's
getting lucky.
588
00:39:00,871 --> 00:39:04,238
Harford Road
is wild these days.
589
00:39:17,988 --> 00:39:20,889
Hey, hey, come on,
open.
590
00:40:07,271 --> 00:40:10,001
I seen you,
Sylvia Stickles,
591
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,373
showing your pubic patch
to the bus driver.
592
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:16,312
You should move downtown
where you belong, you whore.
593
00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:22,017
End of the line.
594
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:36,632
Okay, buster,
turn off the motor.
595
00:40:36,667 --> 00:40:40,068
- Who, me?
- Yeah, you!
596
00:40:41,572 --> 00:40:45,406
Yes, Ma'am!
597
00:40:48,045 --> 00:40:51,412
# Don't touch that spot
that itchy-twitchy spot #
598
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:54,509
# That spot that's swelling up
and turning red... #
599
00:40:54,552 --> 00:40:57,316
- Grrr...
- What are you doing in there?
600
00:40:57,354 --> 00:40:58,787
Vaughn, where is
my daughter?
601
00:40:58,823 --> 00:41:00,757
I don't know, Big Ethel.
I can't find her.
602
00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:03,453
Oh, don't go in there.
Bears live here.
603
00:41:03,494 --> 00:41:06,622
Big fat hairy fags
with dicks.
604
00:41:09,366 --> 00:41:11,561
Hi, I'm Cow Patty.
605
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,162
I'm Vaughn.
I live up the street
606
00:41:14,205 --> 00:41:15,695
and I'm looking
for my wife Sylvia.
607
00:41:15,739 --> 00:41:19,675
I'm the only "Goldilocks" allowed
in this bear cave.
608
00:41:19,710 --> 00:41:22,304
I'm a bear hag.
And we call this--
609
00:41:22,346 --> 00:41:24,814
Bear soup!
610
00:41:29,119 --> 00:41:32,816
Wow, a tranny bear.
611
00:41:32,857 --> 00:41:35,348
Come on in.
612
00:41:35,392 --> 00:41:37,656
Police!
613
00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:13,620
# My gal is red hot #
614
00:42:13,664 --> 00:42:15,632
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
615
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:18,294
# Yeah,
my gal is red hot #
616
00:42:18,335 --> 00:42:20,997
- # Your gal ain't doodly squat... #
- Go, baby, go!
617
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:22,471
Shake that thing!
618
00:42:22,506 --> 00:42:24,701
#...she's really
got a lot... #
619
00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:27,609
Mother!
What's the matter?
620
00:42:27,645 --> 00:42:29,636
#...Six feet four... #
621
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,444
Nothing, honey.
I just wanted to have
622
00:42:32,483 --> 00:42:34,280
a little
mother-daughter chat.
623
00:42:34,318 --> 00:42:37,116
I'm so sorry
I spoke so harshly
624
00:42:37,154 --> 00:42:39,179
about your vagina
this morning.
625
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:42,954
It's all right.
Where did you get that outfit, Mother?
626
00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:46,724
Oh, you like it?
It's my new apostle look.
627
00:42:46,764 --> 00:42:49,631
Oh, you've got fan mail.
628
00:42:51,735 --> 00:42:54,533
The mailman's
got a big johnson, doesn't he?
629
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,665
Mother!
630
00:42:56,707 --> 00:42:59,005
Well, your father's
got a big one too.
631
00:42:59,043 --> 00:43:01,170
Oh, you are
freaking me out.
632
00:43:01,211 --> 00:43:03,179
I was with Fat Fuck Frank
this afternoon.
633
00:43:03,213 --> 00:43:05,306
He seems to really
like your tits.
634
00:43:05,349 --> 00:43:08,113
Is he hung?
635
00:43:08,152 --> 00:43:10,245
He's about
average.
636
00:43:10,287 --> 00:43:12,755
Tell me, Ursula...
637
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:15,759
'cause that's the name
you like to use, isn't it?
638
00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:16,987
Yes it is, Mother.
639
00:43:17,027 --> 00:43:20,929
I know that Fat Fuck Frank
is a tit man,
640
00:43:20,965 --> 00:43:25,402
but does he ever...
well, you know--
641
00:43:25,436 --> 00:43:27,097
"whistle
in the dark"?
642
00:43:27,137 --> 00:43:31,540
Yes, he does.
Thank you for asking.
643
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:37,373
Oh, my God!
You have met Ray Ray.
644
00:43:37,414 --> 00:43:40,611
Oh, Mother!
645
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,614
# Goo-goo, da-da #
646
00:43:44,655 --> 00:43:46,816
# Goo-goo, da-da #
647
00:43:46,857 --> 00:43:50,691
Officer, it's not like my wife
to just walk away.
648
00:43:50,728 --> 00:43:54,186
She was probably
kidnapped by sex fiends.
649
00:43:54,231 --> 00:43:57,723
We've got orgies going on,
perverts walking around.
650
00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:01,169
- Do something.
- I am doing something.
651
00:44:01,205 --> 00:44:03,264
# Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy #
652
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:05,138
# Hmm, bouncy... #
653
00:44:05,175 --> 00:44:07,143
Goo-goo,
Goo-goo, ma-ma!
654
00:44:09,613 --> 00:44:13,174
- This isn't California.
- It's Harford Road.
655
00:44:13,217 --> 00:44:16,618
Baby just shaved his balls.
You wanna see 'em?
656
00:44:16,654 --> 00:44:18,053
Oh!
657
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,278
I'm a sex addict,
658
00:44:42,312 --> 00:44:44,576
an exhibitionist,
659
00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:46,776
and I'm
your daughter.
660
00:44:46,817 --> 00:44:50,719
Oh, oh, Ursula...
661
00:44:50,754 --> 00:44:52,551
ever since
my concussion,
662
00:44:52,589 --> 00:44:56,252
I've learned so much
about eros.
663
00:44:56,293 --> 00:44:58,818
I'm a sex addict too.
664
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,763
I'm a cunnilingus
bottom,
665
00:45:01,799 --> 00:45:03,664
and I'm
your mother.
666
00:45:03,701 --> 00:45:07,535
I tried to tell you about my maypole
accident when I was 11.
667
00:45:08,872 --> 00:45:12,433
But you never listened.
668
00:45:12,476 --> 00:45:17,004
Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll make it up
to you, Ursula, I promise.
669
00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,915
Let's go down
to the Holiday House
670
00:45:20,951 --> 00:45:23,977
and fuck the whole bar.
671
00:45:24,021 --> 00:45:26,353
Okay, Mom.
672
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:29,951
Let's go sexing!
673
00:45:43,107 --> 00:45:45,598
Ooh-ooh!
674
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:53,246
- Come on!
- I am coming as fast as I can.
675
00:46:06,663 --> 00:46:10,565
# Well, I was drivin'
down I-95 the other night #
676
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:14,264
# Somebody nearly cut me
right off the road #
677
00:46:14,304 --> 00:46:17,671
# I decided it wasn't
gonna do any good to get mad #
678
00:46:17,708 --> 00:46:21,007
# So I wrote a song
about him instead #
679
00:46:21,044 --> 00:46:23,638
# It goes like this... #
680
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,377
# Were you born
an asshole? #
681
00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:31,979
# Or did you work at it
your whole life? #
682
00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:36,118
# Either way
it's worked out fine #
683
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,493
# 'Cause you're
an asshole tonight... #
684
00:46:52,576 --> 00:46:54,066
Ha! Ha! Ha!
685
00:46:56,647 --> 00:46:59,548
Ursula! Ursula! Ursula!
686
00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:02,450
Ursula!
Ursula! Ursula!
687
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,511
Ursula! Ursula! Ursula!
688
00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:06,648
# My gal is red hot #
689
00:47:06,690 --> 00:47:09,090
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
690
00:47:09,126 --> 00:47:11,959
# Yeah, my gal is red hot #
691
00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:13,963
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
692
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:15,862
# Well, she ain't got
no money #
693
00:47:15,899 --> 00:47:17,799
# But man, she's really
got a lot #
694
00:47:19,369 --> 00:47:22,338
# Well, I got a gal,
six feet four #
695
00:47:22,372 --> 00:47:25,273
# Sleeps in the kitchen
with her feet out the door #
696
00:47:25,309 --> 00:47:27,277
# My gal is red hot #
697
00:47:27,311 --> 00:47:29,302
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
698
00:47:29,346 --> 00:47:32,247
# Yeah, my gal
is red hot #
699
00:47:32,282 --> 00:47:34,443
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
700
00:47:34,484 --> 00:47:36,213
# Well, she ain't got
no money #
701
00:47:36,253 --> 00:47:37,982
# But man, she's
really got a lot... #
702
00:47:42,492 --> 00:47:44,483
Wait up, Vaughn.
703
00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:47,088
Come on, Big Ethel.
704
00:47:48,365 --> 00:47:50,060
Oh, my God.
705
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:53,194
- Vaughn, I need my pills.
- I know.
706
00:47:55,472 --> 00:47:59,272
#...Well, she walks
all night, talks all day... #
707
00:47:59,309 --> 00:48:01,402
That's my daughter.
708
00:48:01,445 --> 00:48:03,140
That's my daughter!
709
00:48:03,180 --> 00:48:05,239
That's my
daughter!
710
00:48:05,282 --> 00:48:09,514
#...Yeah, my gal
is red hot... #
711
00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:11,646
Caprice!
712
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,317
Capri--
713
00:48:16,326 --> 00:48:19,693
Hi. Hey, come on.
Come on.
714
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,264
Ooh-hh!
715
00:48:33,377 --> 00:48:36,642
# Well, she's the kinda
woman who's a lounge-around #
716
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,444
# Spendin' my business
all over town #
717
00:48:39,483 --> 00:48:42,111
# But my gal is red hot #
718
00:48:42,152 --> 00:48:44,450
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat... #
719
00:48:44,488 --> 00:48:47,082
Aah! Let me go!
720
00:48:47,124 --> 00:48:49,217
Oh, Big Ethel!
721
00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:50,920
Get off my ass!
722
00:48:53,330 --> 00:48:55,321
Ooh.
723
00:48:58,302 --> 00:49:00,031
Sylvia!
724
00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:01,594
Shoot!
725
00:49:03,206 --> 00:49:05,731
# Sylvia... #
726
00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:07,505
# Sylvia... #
727
00:49:07,544 --> 00:49:09,512
# Z-Y-X #
728
00:49:09,546 --> 00:49:11,707
# And W-V-U #
729
00:49:11,748 --> 00:49:13,045
# T-S-R-Q #
730
00:49:13,083 --> 00:49:15,415
# P-O-N-M-L-K #
731
00:49:15,452 --> 00:49:17,044
# J-l-H #
732
00:49:17,087 --> 00:49:19,317
# G-F-E-D-C-B-A #
733
00:49:19,356 --> 00:49:22,382
# We say
the backward alphabet #
734
00:49:22,426 --> 00:49:24,519
# It's complex #
735
00:49:24,561 --> 00:49:26,290
# And trouble
to learn too #
736
00:49:26,330 --> 00:49:29,788
# But you can do it
if you put your mind to it #
737
00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,630
# That's the way... #
738
00:49:31,668 --> 00:49:33,761
# Now everybody say it #
739
00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,635
# You can do
the backwards alphabet #
740
00:49:35,672 --> 00:49:37,162
# Z-Y-X... #
741
00:49:37,207 --> 00:49:39,368
# You can learn
the backwards alphabet #
742
00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:41,570
# S-R-Q-P... #
743
00:49:41,611 --> 00:49:43,374
# You can learn
the backwards alphabet... #
744
00:49:59,229 --> 00:50:01,254
- Sylvia?
- Hmm?
745
00:50:01,298 --> 00:50:04,199
You have what is known
as a "runaway vagina."
746
00:50:04,234 --> 00:50:06,862
- I do?
- You had a concussion, honey.
747
00:50:06,903 --> 00:50:09,804
Sometimes a booboo
on the head
748
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,774
can trigger inappropriate
sexual outbursts.
749
00:50:11,808 --> 00:50:15,642
- You're a sex addict, Sylvia.
- And you've hit bottom.
750
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:17,613
Don't listen
to them, Mother.
751
00:50:17,647 --> 00:50:20,047
Sexual addiction is a privilege.
You know that.
752
00:50:20,083 --> 00:50:22,677
Do you know how embarrassing
this is for me?
753
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:26,120
One nymphomaniac
in the family's bad enough, but two?!
754
00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:28,590
It's a disease,
Big Ethel.
755
00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:31,992
Being a whore
is a disease?
756
00:50:33,497 --> 00:50:36,728
Caprice, because of your
criminally enlarged breasts--
757
00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:38,132
You're a freak.
758
00:50:38,168 --> 00:50:40,762
The bloodstream to your brain
has been blocked,
759
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:43,364
causing
permanent depression.
760
00:50:43,407 --> 00:50:46,808
I'm not depressed.
Daddy!
761
00:50:46,843 --> 00:50:49,835
- You should be depressed.
- No, I don't want Prozac!
762
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,474
- No--
- These will make you feel normal.
763
00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:55,212
I don't want to feel normal!
Mother, help me.
764
00:50:55,252 --> 00:50:58,415
Caprice, I apologize
for my shameful behavior.
765
00:50:58,455 --> 00:51:00,423
Don't you recognize
the concussion?
766
00:51:00,457 --> 00:51:03,187
Just swallow.
767
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:05,194
Prozac can lower
the libido
768
00:51:05,228 --> 00:51:08,095
and stymie the sexual fantasies
of many female patients.
769
00:51:08,131 --> 00:51:10,793
And then finally, finally we can
schedule you
770
00:51:10,834 --> 00:51:12,495
for a breast reduction operation.
771
00:51:12,536 --> 00:51:15,164
No! I don't
want to be Neuter.
772
00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:18,436
Maybe she's right.
Sex addicts are everywhere.
773
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:21,103
And soon they're gonna
discover a new sex act.
774
00:51:21,144 --> 00:51:22,907
I'm supposed
to help them.
775
00:51:22,946 --> 00:51:24,641
It will pass, Sylvia.
776
00:51:24,681 --> 00:51:27,343
No, there's this guy
named Ray Ray
777
00:51:27,384 --> 00:51:30,842
and he is their leader
and he ate me out.
778
00:51:30,887 --> 00:51:33,219
Ugh!
779
00:51:34,724 --> 00:51:37,090
You let strangers put
their germ-filled mouths on your uterus?
780
00:51:39,229 --> 00:51:41,629
Sylvia, Dr. Arlington told me
about these meetings.
781
00:51:41,665 --> 00:51:44,156
Yeah, they're
for people like you.
782
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:47,967
Honey, the whole family
is gonna go, Sylvia.
783
00:51:48,004 --> 00:51:50,700
But we're not
telling anybody.
784
00:51:52,008 --> 00:51:54,306
# Sylvia... #
785
00:51:59,382 --> 00:52:01,441
I've got a hard-on
of gold,
786
00:52:01,485 --> 00:52:05,182
and my tongue
is on fire.
787
00:52:05,222 --> 00:52:07,247
Let's go sexing...?
788
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:14,453
Sylvia, stay
on this side.
789
00:52:16,733 --> 00:52:19,293
You had a concussion,
honey.
790
00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:26,203
Mmph.
791
00:52:27,744 --> 00:52:32,078
No, Caprice, you know
it doesn't work that way.
792
00:52:32,115 --> 00:52:34,515
It has to be
an accident.
793
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:48,129
Oh, please,
I beg of you.
794
00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:51,430
Help me to keep
my sexual sobriety.
795
00:52:51,468 --> 00:52:52,765
Please.
796
00:53:13,723 --> 00:53:15,714
Ho-ho-ho!
797
00:53:17,294 --> 00:53:19,194
# Do you like boobs a lot?
Yes, I like boobs a lot #
798
00:53:19,229 --> 00:53:21,390
# Boobs a lot, boobs a lot,
you gotta like boobs a lot #
799
00:53:21,431 --> 00:53:23,524
# Really like boobs a lot,
you gotta like boobs a lot #
800
00:53:23,567 --> 00:53:25,728
# Boobs a lot, boobs a lot,
you gotta like boobs a lot #
801
00:53:25,769 --> 00:53:27,862
# Down in the locker room,
just we boys #
802
00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:29,838
# Beating down the locker room
with all that noise #
803
00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:32,034
# Singing "Do you like boobs a lot?"
you gotta like boobs a lot... #
804
00:53:32,075 --> 00:53:34,236
# Boobs a lot, boobs a lot--
you like boobs a lot #
805
00:53:34,277 --> 00:53:35,301
# Do you wear
your jock a lot? #
806
00:53:38,148 --> 00:53:40,309
Oh--!
807
00:53:42,152 --> 00:53:45,849
# If I forget
to say my prayers #
808
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:48,585
# The devil
jumps with glee #
809
00:53:48,625 --> 00:53:52,152
# That he feels
so awful-awful #
810
00:53:52,195 --> 00:53:55,653
# When he sees me
on my knees #
811
00:53:55,699 --> 00:53:59,191
# So if you're
full of trouble #
812
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:02,672
# And you never seem
to win #
813
00:54:02,706 --> 00:54:05,869
# Just open up
your heart #
814
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:09,606
# And let the sun
shine in #
815
00:54:09,646 --> 00:54:13,605
# So let the sun
shine in #
816
00:54:13,650 --> 00:54:16,847
# Face it with a grin #
817
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,719
# Open up your heart #
818
00:54:19,756 --> 00:54:23,317
# And let the sun
shine in. #
819
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,487
Sex.
820
00:54:25,528 --> 00:54:27,496
My name is Paige,
821
00:54:27,530 --> 00:54:30,192
I'm from Roxton
and I am a sex addict.
822
00:54:30,233 --> 00:54:33,202
My drug of choice--
frottage,
823
00:54:33,236 --> 00:54:36,603
the sexual rubbing-up
on unsuspecting citizens.
824
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,507
"Excuse me," I'd say,
while I'd grind my crotch
825
00:54:39,542 --> 00:54:42,841
into an unsuspecting passenger
on a crowded airplane.
826
00:54:42,879 --> 00:54:45,347
Halt, hungry, angry,
827
00:54:45,382 --> 00:54:47,373
lonely, tired.
828
00:54:47,417 --> 00:54:50,386
No one ever knew.
I was in first class...
829
00:54:50,420 --> 00:54:52,980
Hello, I'm Ronnie the Rimmer
and I'm a sex addict.
830
00:54:53,023 --> 00:54:54,456
Uh. Uh!
831
00:54:55,525 --> 00:54:59,518
I'm Sylvia and
my clitoris is in crisis.
832
00:54:59,562 --> 00:55:01,496
I'm Sylvia's
husband Vaughn,
833
00:55:01,531 --> 00:55:04,591
and... I'm trying
to understand.
834
00:55:04,634 --> 00:55:06,602
And this is my daughter,
Caprice.
835
00:55:06,636 --> 00:55:09,469
Yeah, and Prozac
saved my life.
836
00:55:09,506 --> 00:55:14,239
I'm Big Ethel and don't get any ideas,
I'm normal.
837
00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:17,508
Hello, I'm Tony the Tickler
and I was a tickle top.
838
00:55:17,547 --> 00:55:19,572
And that's nothing
to laugh at.
839
00:55:19,616 --> 00:55:24,053
We are the Stickles family
and it's nice to be here.
840
00:55:24,087 --> 00:55:26,988
Excuse me, I'd say
for the hundredth time...
841
00:55:27,023 --> 00:55:29,457
this is Lu Ann
and Larry.
842
00:55:29,492 --> 00:55:31,517
We were into
"Roman showers."
843
00:55:31,561 --> 00:55:33,688
Vomiting on each other
as foreplay.
844
00:55:33,730 --> 00:55:35,322
But that doesn't
come up anymore.
845
00:55:35,365 --> 00:55:37,697
No, siree,
a higher power saved us.
846
00:55:37,734 --> 00:55:39,702
I want these
people arrested
847
00:55:39,736 --> 00:55:41,761
and punished
to the full extent of the law.
848
00:55:41,805 --> 00:55:43,898
Let me lead you
to recovery.
849
00:55:45,508 --> 00:55:48,534
Once, a man on jury duty
complained that I rode his knee
850
00:55:48,578 --> 00:55:50,443
when we filed in
to announce the verdict.
851
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,539
But I denied it
to the judge.
852
00:55:52,582 --> 00:55:55,107
Sex addicts
learn to lie.
853
00:55:55,151 --> 00:55:59,451
Denial-- don't need you
to know that I am lying.
854
00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:02,287
They call me Dora.
855
00:56:02,325 --> 00:56:05,692
And I'm a chronic
masturbator.
856
00:56:05,729 --> 00:56:08,721
I've been sober
only two weeks now.
857
00:56:08,765 --> 00:56:12,064
I'm Sylvia
and I've hit bottom.
858
00:56:12,102 --> 00:56:14,866
...day in and day out.
859
00:56:14,904 --> 00:56:18,067
Finally someone reported me
to a security guard and I was arrested.
860
00:56:18,108 --> 00:56:22,807
- I would hope so.
- We don't judge others here, madam.
861
00:56:22,846 --> 00:56:25,076
Progress, not perfection.
862
00:56:25,115 --> 00:56:28,812
Sex addicts,
your meetings are my life.
863
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:31,915
Thank you.
864
00:56:31,955 --> 00:56:33,718
Thank you so much.
865
00:56:33,757 --> 00:56:36,555
Halt, hungry, angry,
866
00:56:36,593 --> 00:56:38,618
Lonely, tired...
867
00:56:38,661 --> 00:56:42,324
All this yelling is giving me
a "Swedish headache."
868
00:56:42,365 --> 00:56:46,859
you know what I mean?
Horny.
869
00:56:46,903 --> 00:56:48,894
This woman is crazy.
870
00:56:48,938 --> 00:56:51,566
Nothing's the matter with "beating
the beaver" once in a while.
871
00:56:52,842 --> 00:56:56,403
Hello, I'm Paige
and I am a sex addict.
872
00:56:56,446 --> 00:56:58,971
I'm Sylvia
and I can't control
873
00:56:59,015 --> 00:57:01,677
my... "axis of evil."
874
00:57:01,718 --> 00:57:03,811
let me be your sponsor,
Sylvia.
875
00:57:03,853 --> 00:57:06,788
Thank you.
I'm so ashamed.
876
00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:11,317
- Admit to God-- you are a whore.
- I'm a whore.
877
00:57:11,361 --> 00:57:13,352
Make a list of all
the people you've fucked
878
00:57:13,396 --> 00:57:15,694
and apologize
to their parents.
879
00:57:15,732 --> 00:57:18,530
My name
is Mr. Pay Day.
880
00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:21,662
- And I'm here for a little scat chat.
- Thank you.
881
00:57:21,704 --> 00:57:26,141
A pay day is an unflushed turd,
hence my name.
882
00:57:28,211 --> 00:57:30,179
I used to defecate
in public restrooms
883
00:57:30,213 --> 00:57:32,408
up and down Harford Road
884
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:35,384
- and never flush the toilet.
- That was him?
885
00:57:35,418 --> 00:57:38,854
But my life of turd abuse
didn't stop there, oh no.
886
00:57:38,888 --> 00:57:42,187
I started doing
"upper deckers"--
887
00:57:42,225 --> 00:57:44,523
shitting in the top tank
of the toilet,
888
00:57:44,561 --> 00:57:46,620
where no one would ever look
to find the odor.
889
00:57:46,663 --> 00:57:49,154
I can certainly
judge that.
890
00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:52,327
- Progress, not perfection.
- Thank you.
891
00:57:52,368 --> 00:57:54,359
Thank you,
it really means a lot.
892
00:57:54,404 --> 00:57:58,636
Hi, my name is Caprice
893
00:57:58,675 --> 00:58:01,405
and I am a sex addict.
894
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:06,041
I used to be known
as Ursula Udders,
895
00:58:06,082 --> 00:58:10,746
but let me tell you,
Ursula Udders is utterly over.
896
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:15,383
I'm on Prozac now
and I am a new woman.
897
00:58:15,425 --> 00:58:17,757
Oh.
898
00:58:17,794 --> 00:58:20,854
Halt, hungry, angry...
899
00:58:20,897 --> 00:58:24,162
Ever jerk off when one
of your hands is asleep?
900
00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:27,260
No. Look, please,
I'm a Neuter.
901
00:58:27,303 --> 00:58:29,271
You should try it.
902
00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:33,036
It feels like
somebody else is doing it.
903
00:58:33,076 --> 00:58:35,169
I defied nature
and now I must pay the price.
904
00:58:35,211 --> 00:58:38,180
- Ever take a "rufie"?
- No!
905
00:58:38,214 --> 00:58:41,308
Me neither.
I'm afraid I'd stay home
906
00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:43,945
and date rape myself
all night long.
907
00:58:43,987 --> 00:58:48,048
...that I will get
a breast reduction operation.
908
00:58:48,091 --> 00:58:50,218
Yes. I will.
909
00:58:50,260 --> 00:58:53,923
- I promise.
- Yes! Yes!
910
00:58:53,963 --> 00:58:56,693
And I will never
911
00:58:56,733 --> 00:59:00,100
be nude again!
912
00:59:00,136 --> 00:59:03,833
Thank you.
Thank you.
913
00:59:03,873 --> 00:59:06,433
I got my girls.
914
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:11,878
Er... er...
my name is Sylvia,
915
00:59:11,915 --> 00:59:15,942
And I too
am a sex addict.
916
00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:19,011
But I'm not dirty
anymore.
917
00:59:20,023 --> 00:59:21,752
Grrr-rr...
918
00:59:21,791 --> 00:59:25,249
That's right, Sylvia. You know how long
your poor dead father had to wait?
919
00:59:25,295 --> 00:59:28,856
It was a long hard road
to this vagina.
920
00:59:30,433 --> 00:59:34,767
We must warn others
in the concussion community,
921
00:59:34,804 --> 00:59:39,241
that a head injury
is not an excuse for debauchery.
922
00:59:41,277 --> 00:59:43,268
That's right, sister!
923
00:59:44,781 --> 00:59:47,944
But your vagina
belongs to eternity, Sylvia Stickles.
924
00:59:49,485 --> 00:59:51,453
be gone,
Beelzebub.
925
00:59:51,487 --> 00:59:54,285
Let my mother's
pussy be!
926
00:59:54,324 --> 00:59:56,417
I'm not your
filthy apostle.
927
00:59:56,459 --> 00:59:58,586
No, sir, no!
928
00:59:58,628 --> 01:00:01,290
I'm not
number anything.
929
01:00:01,331 --> 01:00:05,995
He is a fraud. Remember Jim Jones?
Remember People's Temple?
930
01:00:06,035 --> 01:00:10,267
He's a sex addict. A filthy controlling
pervert who wants your soul.
931
01:00:10,306 --> 01:00:14,072
It's all mumbo-jumbo.
He's just a filthy man.
932
01:00:14,110 --> 01:00:16,601
Sex addicts,
you are the chosen people.
933
01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:18,477
Help us uncover
nature's secret.
934
01:00:18,514 --> 01:00:21,176
Halt, horny,
935
01:00:21,217 --> 01:00:25,847
anal, lustful, titties.
936
01:00:25,888 --> 01:00:30,484
- Seduce your sponsor.
- One fuck at a time.
937
01:00:30,526 --> 01:00:33,552
Intimacy equals inadequacy.
938
01:00:33,596 --> 01:00:35,757
What's the matter
with you people?
939
01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:37,789
You're wasting
valuable sex time.
940
01:00:37,834 --> 01:00:40,268
Your cunt
is like a charity.
941
01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:45,070
You must give,
give and give...
942
01:00:45,108 --> 01:00:47,201
I'm slipping.
943
01:00:47,243 --> 01:00:49,336
I'm slipping.
944
01:00:49,379 --> 01:00:51,813
Recovery is regression.
945
01:00:51,848 --> 01:00:54,408
It will never pass.
946
01:00:54,450 --> 01:00:57,510
No, don't! I have to.
947
01:00:57,553 --> 01:01:00,852
Don't listen to him.
948
01:01:04,193 --> 01:01:06,593
Stop it.
Please, I'm a Neuter!
949
01:01:10,266 --> 01:01:11,893
Concussion sufferers,
950
01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:15,426
find the new orgasm
and we'll all be supernatural.
951
01:01:15,471 --> 01:01:17,234
It's out there, you just...
952
01:01:17,273 --> 01:01:21,471
I have to do this.
953
01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:26,308
There is no
higher power than sex!
954
01:01:26,349 --> 01:01:28,180
Stop it! Aah-ah!
955
01:01:28,217 --> 01:01:31,516
Stop it, don't touch me.
I've been neutered.
956
01:01:31,554 --> 01:01:33,681
Let no sex act...
957
01:01:33,723 --> 01:01:36,351
You're fired, David,
and no unemployment neither.
958
01:01:36,392 --> 01:01:39,361
It's okay.
This is sex.
959
01:01:39,395 --> 01:01:41,761
There is a beautiful woman
here tonight named Sylvia
960
01:01:41,798 --> 01:01:43,766
who can reveal a secret.
961
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,769
And that woman
is my wife!
962
01:01:46,803 --> 01:01:49,863
Vaughn, let us show you
eternal sexual satisfaction.
963
01:01:49,906 --> 01:01:51,897
- We love you.
- Love?!
964
01:01:51,941 --> 01:01:54,774
Whatever you do,
don't call it love.
965
01:01:57,413 --> 01:02:00,280
Oh, God!
966
01:02:06,255 --> 01:02:09,088
Let's go sexing!
967
01:02:09,125 --> 01:02:12,117
# Help me Mr. Fireman,
please #
968
01:02:12,161 --> 01:02:14,459
# You know I'm burning
from my head to my knees #
969
01:02:14,497 --> 01:02:16,761
# I'm aflame with
such a burning desire #
970
01:02:16,799 --> 01:02:20,166
# That little girl
sets my soul on fire #
971
01:02:20,203 --> 01:02:23,969
# She's got me burning up
like a paper cup #
972
01:02:24,006 --> 01:02:27,203
# Whoo-whoo-whoo,
I'm on fire... #
973
01:02:27,243 --> 01:02:30,076
Come on, Dad!
974
01:02:30,113 --> 01:02:33,014
- Go, baby.
- Get off of me!
975
01:02:33,049 --> 01:02:35,313
Ooh!
976
01:02:35,351 --> 01:02:38,411
Sylvia, Sylvia?
977
01:02:38,454 --> 01:02:41,946
Sylvia?
978
01:02:41,991 --> 01:02:44,289
#...Hmmm, hmmm,
I'm on fire... #
979
01:02:46,129 --> 01:02:49,098
...the shock of each moment
and still be alive.
980
01:02:57,507 --> 01:03:00,340
You've got the devil in your cervix,
that's what you've got.
981
01:03:05,014 --> 01:03:07,209
Come home to my penis
where you belong.
982
01:03:07,250 --> 01:03:10,708
I can't, Vaughn.
I'm a libertine.
983
01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:12,880
I say no
to sexual addiction.
984
01:03:12,922 --> 01:03:15,891
You'll get
a yeast infection.
985
01:03:15,925 --> 01:03:18,553
Now is the time
for home invasion!
986
01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:35,133
# Oh, his pop-up
doesn't pop up anymore... #
987
01:03:35,178 --> 01:03:37,146
Somebody help!
988
01:03:37,180 --> 01:03:39,307
# It just doesn't do
the thing it did before... #
989
01:03:39,348 --> 01:03:41,145
Somebody gave him pills!
990
01:03:41,184 --> 01:03:46,588
#...His pop-up will not
pop up anymore. #
991
01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:51,457
We're gonna make
a nice sauce...
992
01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:53,052
Oh, my God!
993
01:03:53,095 --> 01:03:55,689
Okay, who wants
to fuck me?
994
01:03:55,731 --> 01:03:58,598
I do.
995
01:03:58,634 --> 01:04:00,932
She wants me!
996
01:04:00,970 --> 01:04:03,700
- Get off of him!
- Let me go with her!
997
01:04:03,739 --> 01:04:05,673
# Have faith, hope
and charity #
998
01:04:05,708 --> 01:04:07,198
- # Have faith, hope and charity... #
- Sex is disgusting!
999
01:04:07,243 --> 01:04:08,801
# That's the way
to live successfully #
1000
01:04:08,845 --> 01:04:10,904
# That's the way
to live successfully #
1001
01:04:10,947 --> 01:04:11,914
# How do I know?
The Bible tells me so...#
1002
01:04:11,948 --> 01:04:12,937
# How do I know?
The Bible tells me so...#
1003
01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:13,949
# How do I know?
The Bible tells me so...#
1004
01:04:15,551 --> 01:04:17,951
# The Bible
tells me... #
1005
01:04:17,987 --> 01:04:21,946
# Do good
to your enemies #
1006
01:04:21,991 --> 01:04:23,618
# And the blessed Lord
you'll surely please #
1007
01:04:25,428 --> 01:04:29,626
# How do I know?
The Bible tells me so #
1008
01:04:29,665 --> 01:04:31,929
# The Bible
tells me #
1009
01:04:31,968 --> 01:04:35,460
# Don't worry
'bout tomorrow #
1010
01:04:35,504 --> 01:04:39,133
# Just be
real good today #
1011
01:04:39,175 --> 01:04:42,576
# The Lord
is right beside you... #
1012
01:04:42,612 --> 01:04:44,603
All right, everybody,
just come on in.
1013
01:04:44,647 --> 01:04:46,706
That's right,
everybody in.
1014
01:04:46,749 --> 01:04:48,979
Thank you. Thank you so much
for coming out tonight.
1015
01:04:49,018 --> 01:04:50,645
- We got toilet paper?
- We've got toilet paper.
1016
01:04:50,686 --> 01:04:52,779
We couldn't be
doing this without you.
1017
01:04:52,822 --> 01:04:55,985
Move up,
everybody, okay?
1018
01:04:56,025 --> 01:04:58,687
Now, parents,
talk to your children
1019
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,959
tell them
how repulsive sex is.
1020
01:05:01,998 --> 01:05:07,129
And kids, tell your mom and dad
the truth.
1021
01:05:07,169 --> 01:05:10,502
Second base isn't just
feeling up a bra strap anymore.
1022
01:05:10,539 --> 01:05:12,507
No, it's a blow job.
1023
01:05:12,541 --> 01:05:14,509
No blow jobs!
1024
01:05:16,712 --> 01:05:18,475
Teenagers everywhere,
1025
01:05:18,514 --> 01:05:21,677
come on, join
the Neuter resistance.
1026
01:05:21,717 --> 01:05:25,312
We're not here protesting
anything tonight, are we, Neuters?
1027
01:05:25,354 --> 01:05:27,447
No!
1028
01:05:27,490 --> 01:05:29,321
We're for something.
1029
01:05:29,358 --> 01:05:31,326
Yes, yes!
1030
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:35,262
That's right.
We're for the end of tolerance.
1031
01:05:36,465 --> 01:05:39,923
Tolerance went too far
and we all know it.
1032
01:05:39,969 --> 01:05:42,164
No more tolerance!
1033
01:05:42,204 --> 01:05:45,173
No more tolerance!
No more tolerance!
1034
01:05:45,207 --> 01:05:48,699
No more tolerance! No more tolerance!
1035
01:05:48,744 --> 01:05:51,042
Hurry, hurry!
1036
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:54,447
Hey, feel like
blowing some tunes?
1037
01:05:54,483 --> 01:05:57,816
Come on, don't be shy,
what's the matter with you?
1038
01:05:57,853 --> 01:05:59,821
Hey!
1039
01:05:59,855 --> 01:06:02,722
I'm Sylvia Stickles
and I've got the itch.
1040
01:06:06,329 --> 01:06:08,661
# Hoo-hah, hoo-hah... #
1041
01:06:11,834 --> 01:06:13,825
# Baby, baby... #
1042
01:06:13,869 --> 01:06:15,837
# Baby, baby, baby... #
1043
01:06:18,307 --> 01:06:21,208
Down here!
Come on and join the fun!
1044
01:06:22,378 --> 01:06:24,710
Ooh!
1045
01:06:27,683 --> 01:06:30,447
Hey, hey
you white devil!
1046
01:06:30,486 --> 01:06:33,978
Come on up here and give me
some of that strange.
1047
01:06:34,023 --> 01:06:36,389
...pussy wants
some action.
1048
01:06:36,425 --> 01:06:38,393
That's right, Sylvia,
1049
01:06:38,427 --> 01:06:41,396
we're going pearl diving.
1050
01:06:42,732 --> 01:06:46,600
Yes, siree,
I'm looking to go "below 14th Street."
1051
01:06:46,635 --> 01:06:49,433
Get it, Sylvia,
get it while you can.
1052
01:06:49,472 --> 01:06:50,939
I'm coming
as fast as I can.
1053
01:06:52,141 --> 01:06:55,406
No, you're not,
motherfucker.
1054
01:06:55,444 --> 01:06:57,571
Whoa!
1055
01:06:57,613 --> 01:06:59,205
Get your ass
in here now.
1056
01:06:59,248 --> 01:07:02,740
Get out of here,
come on, beat it, Sylvia.
1057
01:07:15,598 --> 01:07:18,032
Fucking tranquilizers.
1058
01:07:23,005 --> 01:07:26,873
It's all right.
Ray Ray is gonna be all better, right?
1059
01:07:26,909 --> 01:07:30,572
You betrayed me.
1060
01:07:30,613 --> 01:07:33,207
No, I'm back.
I just had a relapse.
1061
01:07:33,249 --> 01:07:36,946
Heretics!
Because of you I can't have sex.
1062
01:07:36,986 --> 01:07:39,420
It's not our fault,
we're sorry.
1063
01:07:39,455 --> 01:07:42,151
Try this.
"Face The Nation."
1064
01:07:42,191 --> 01:07:44,785
No.
Help me.
1065
01:07:47,329 --> 01:07:51,959
- I want to be horny.
- You will be. Concentrate.
1066
01:07:52,001 --> 01:07:56,131
Did you know sex
is even infiltrating the economy?
1067
01:07:56,172 --> 01:08:00,802
Experts estimate
at least 15,000 Americans
1068
01:08:00,843 --> 01:08:03,744
are masturbating at work
right this minute.
1069
01:08:03,779 --> 01:08:06,907
Masturbation is costing
American business...
1070
01:08:06,949 --> 01:08:09,281
Come back,
Caprice.
1071
01:08:09,318 --> 01:08:12,253
Get out.
This is a Neuter establishment.
1072
01:08:12,288 --> 01:08:14,415
We don't serve
Ray Ray's people here.
1073
01:08:14,457 --> 01:08:18,188
Don't get a breast reduction, Ursula.
Fat Fuck Frank will die.
1074
01:08:18,227 --> 01:08:20,957
Oh, his spiritual life
is already dead.
1075
01:08:20,996 --> 01:08:22,964
But it's coming!
1076
01:08:22,998 --> 01:08:26,695
No, it isn't.
There is no new sex act.
1077
01:08:26,735 --> 01:08:28,999
The Ressur-sexion
is about to happen.
1078
01:08:29,038 --> 01:08:31,097
Oh, God,
you're crazy.
1079
01:08:31,140 --> 01:08:33,938
This is Tuesday night.
This is Harford Road.
1080
01:08:33,976 --> 01:08:36,137
This is a school night!
1081
01:08:41,684 --> 01:08:44,517
Ladies,
let's start over.
1082
01:08:44,553 --> 01:08:47,215
Have you heard about
vaginal restoration?
1083
01:08:47,256 --> 01:08:50,157
Any gynecologist
can do it.
1084
01:08:50,192 --> 01:08:53,355
The hymen
is sewn back together.
1085
01:08:53,395 --> 01:08:54,362
Ah-agh!
1086
01:08:54,396 --> 01:08:56,489
Hey, rent a room,
not here.
1087
01:08:56,532 --> 01:09:00,195
- Get the hell out of my store.
- Just come on, you guys.
1088
01:09:00,236 --> 01:09:02,704
Oh, Vaughn,
get this creep out of here.
1089
01:09:02,738 --> 01:09:05,434
Right now,
I want you out of here.
1090
01:09:07,209 --> 01:09:11,509
- Ugh!
- # On top of spaghetti #
1091
01:09:11,547 --> 01:09:14,107
# All covered
with cheese... #
1092
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:17,051
Use a napkin,
you freak.
1093
01:09:17,086 --> 01:09:19,520
#...I lost my poor
meatball... #
1094
01:09:19,555 --> 01:09:21,648
# When somebody sneezed... #
1095
01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:23,555
- Oh yeah.
- # When somebody sneezed. #
1096
01:09:28,397 --> 01:09:31,025
They're everywhere.
They're in the bushes.
1097
01:09:31,066 --> 01:09:34,399
Dad, somebody's
licking our tires.
1098
01:09:34,436 --> 01:09:36,631
- Honey, don't look.
- Hey, pervert!
1099
01:09:36,672 --> 01:09:38,731
Leave our family alone.
1100
01:09:38,774 --> 01:09:42,039
- Oof!
- Come on, let's just get out of here.
1101
01:09:42,077 --> 01:09:43,408
Oh-ho-ho. Oh.
1102
01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:46,175
Ooh, ever hear
of helicoptering?
1103
01:09:46,215 --> 01:09:48,513
Whipping someone's face
with your erect penis?
1104
01:09:48,551 --> 01:09:50,280
- Whap, whap, whap!
- Old hat.
1105
01:09:50,319 --> 01:09:52,446
- Shrimping?
- Everybody licks toes.
1106
01:09:52,488 --> 01:09:55,082
Tromboning-- jacking off
when you're taking a crap?
1107
01:09:55,124 --> 01:09:58,184
I did that during
the Reagan Administration.
1108
01:09:58,227 --> 01:10:01,754
Try some vitamins.
1109
01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:08,063
I need to satisfy someone.
1110
01:10:08,103 --> 01:10:10,071
Oh, yeah.
1111
01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:16,970
# Tell me a story #
1112
01:10:17,012 --> 01:10:18,980
# Tell me
a story #
1113
01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:22,450
# Tell me a story,
remember what you said #
1114
01:10:22,484 --> 01:10:24,645
# You promised me,
you said you would #
1115
01:10:24,687 --> 01:10:26,484
# You've got to give in
so I'll be good #
1116
01:10:26,522 --> 01:10:28,285
# Tell me a story... #
1117
01:10:28,324 --> 01:10:30,383
yes, Mommy's
drying dishes
1118
01:10:30,426 --> 01:10:33,156
so that pretty little baby
will have clean plate-plates
1119
01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,459
when we move
to our new house.
1120
01:10:35,497 --> 01:10:38,125
#...Go home without
my raise in pay #
1121
01:10:38,167 --> 01:10:41,933
- # Home by the fire where a man can-- #
- Mama! Mama!
1122
01:10:41,971 --> 01:10:44,303
# Sleep out there
by the chair #
1123
01:10:44,340 --> 01:10:46,501
# Not a worry,
not a care... #
1124
01:10:57,987 --> 01:11:00,581
Come on, you're the cunnilingus
concussion king.
1125
01:11:00,623 --> 01:11:02,181
Am l? Am l?
1126
01:11:02,224 --> 01:11:04,556
So many vaginas,
so little time.
1127
01:11:04,593 --> 01:11:06,151
I try
and do good work.
1128
01:11:06,195 --> 01:11:08,060
Sometimes
chocolate helps.
1129
01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,088
Oh, give me
the green one.
1130
01:11:10,132 --> 01:11:12,100
Boy, those fuckers
work.
1131
01:11:12,134 --> 01:11:14,694
I managed to cop some Spanish fly
down on the block.
1132
01:11:16,272 --> 01:11:18,263
Oh, that's some
good shit.
1133
01:11:18,307 --> 01:11:19,569
- Felching?
- Done it.
1134
01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:21,576
- Getting your "red wings"?
- I got 'em.
1135
01:11:21,610 --> 01:11:24,044
- Plate job?
- Over and under.
1136
01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:26,013
- Blossoms?
- Don't want them.
1137
01:11:26,048 --> 01:11:27,515
Ever tried these?
1138
01:11:27,549 --> 01:11:31,713
Damn Viagra.
And I'm already there.
1139
01:11:43,032 --> 01:11:45,466
"Astral-orgasm,"
1140
01:11:45,501 --> 01:11:49,096
reaching an out-of-body state
through sexual arousal.
1141
01:12:02,885 --> 01:12:06,719
Let's go sexing!
1142
01:12:11,727 --> 01:12:14,696
Come on, you can't do that inside.
Take it outside.
1143
01:12:14,730 --> 01:12:17,358
Yeah, I'm looking
for to get blowed.
1144
01:12:17,399 --> 01:12:18,457
We don't have that.
1145
01:12:18,500 --> 01:12:21,060
I've been scarred!
1146
01:12:22,504 --> 01:12:23,869
Get off me,
I'm straight.
1147
01:12:23,906 --> 01:12:26,204
So's spaghetti till you get it
heated up.
1148
01:12:26,241 --> 01:12:28,903
I tell you, this virginal
operation works.
1149
01:12:28,944 --> 01:12:31,208
Even the most skeptical man
will be convinced.
1150
01:12:31,246 --> 01:12:33,214
You're what I'd call
a pity fuck?
1151
01:12:33,248 --> 01:12:37,344
The restored virgin
fills a gelatin capsule with blood
1152
01:12:37,386 --> 01:12:40,583
and inserts it into her vagina
just before intercourse.
1153
01:12:40,622 --> 01:12:42,249
You're all crazy.
1154
01:12:42,291 --> 01:12:45,124
When she has sex for the first time,
the hymen will pop.
1155
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:48,186
You'll be a virgin
for the second time.
1156
01:12:48,230 --> 01:12:51,666
- Leave us alone.
- Help!
1157
01:12:53,736 --> 01:12:55,761
Hey! Hey!
Call the National Guard.
1158
01:12:55,804 --> 01:12:56,964
To hell with Harford Road!
1159
01:12:57,005 --> 01:12:58,870
We're moving back to D.C.
Where we belong.
1160
01:12:58,907 --> 01:13:00,966
- Frank, call them off.
- But, Ursula,
1161
01:13:01,009 --> 01:13:04,410
they are hotter than a fresh fucked fox
in a forest fire, you know that.
1162
01:13:04,446 --> 01:13:08,177
I am pure now, Fat Blank Frank,
I'm a Neuter.
1163
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:09,912
Just let them puppies
loose, honey.
1164
01:13:09,952 --> 01:13:13,149
I have faced the beast of lust
and I have won.
1165
01:13:13,188 --> 01:13:15,986
Besides,
my back hurts.
1166
01:13:16,024 --> 01:13:19,653
I get rashes.
Simple chores bother me.
1167
01:13:19,695 --> 01:13:22,323
I would like to sleep on my stomach,
if you don't mind.
1168
01:13:22,364 --> 01:13:24,855
Please, Ursula...!
1169
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:28,392
- Let's go sexing.
- N-O spells no!
1170
01:13:28,437 --> 01:13:31,895
- Come on, man--
- This isn't that kind of place. Lady!
1171
01:13:35,611 --> 01:13:38,739
aah-- auto-erotic
asphyxiation.
1172
01:13:38,781 --> 01:13:40,806
Oh, you oughta
try it, ahh!
1173
01:13:40,849 --> 01:13:44,808
- Let me in, you know you got it.
- Get away! We're not horny.
1174
01:13:44,853 --> 01:13:47,151
We're married.
We don't want anything.
1175
01:13:49,525 --> 01:13:51,755
Somebody somewhere,
1176
01:13:51,794 --> 01:13:55,025
finish me up!
1177
01:14:16,151 --> 01:14:18,210
- Huh?
- Feel like getting lucky?
1178
01:14:18,253 --> 01:14:21,222
Huh? Huh-Uh.
1179
01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:25,485
Hey, how about you?
Huh? How about you?
1180
01:14:25,527 --> 01:14:28,189
Uh-huh.
1181
01:14:35,003 --> 01:14:38,803
You are barred from
the Pinewood Park-and-Pay.
1182
01:14:40,843 --> 01:14:42,674
Ever hear of
mononucleosis?
1183
01:14:42,711 --> 01:14:44,975
Get help!
1184
01:14:48,584 --> 01:14:52,350
- Oh, my God!
- Hey, polar bear,
1185
01:14:52,387 --> 01:14:54,412
- you know what an "otter" is?
- No.
1186
01:14:54,456 --> 01:14:59,826
It's a bear cub who
isn't fat or hairy yet, but will be.
1187
01:14:59,862 --> 01:15:02,592
Find me
a significant otter.
1188
01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:07,862
Ungh!
1189
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:10,862
Whoop!
1190
01:15:11,940 --> 01:15:13,805
Oof!
1191
01:15:16,078 --> 01:15:18,376
Oh!
1192
01:15:29,591 --> 01:15:31,354
Yes!
1193
01:15:31,393 --> 01:15:33,361
Get out, you disgusting
piece of filth.
1194
01:15:33,395 --> 01:15:35,556
Get out now and
never come back.
1195
01:15:48,944 --> 01:15:51,640
Yeah, baby!
1196
01:15:52,648 --> 01:15:54,047
Oh, no, not you!
1197
01:15:54,082 --> 01:15:55,982
Yeah, baby!
1198
01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:57,986
Yeah, baby!
Whoo-ooh!
1199
01:16:02,024 --> 01:16:03,685
Yeah!
1200
01:16:03,725 --> 01:16:06,626
Ursula! Ursula! Ursula!
1201
01:16:13,769 --> 01:16:15,794
Mom!
1202
01:16:15,837 --> 01:16:18,067
# Yeah, my gal is
red hot #
1203
01:16:18,106 --> 01:16:20,131
# Your gal
ain't doodly squat #
1204
01:16:20,175 --> 01:16:23,576
# Well she ain't got no money,
but man, she's really got a lot... #
1205
01:16:23,612 --> 01:16:26,911
# Oh, baby, let me bang
your box #
1206
01:16:28,150 --> 01:16:30,948
# Baby, let me bang
your box #
1207
01:16:30,986 --> 01:16:33,420
# Baby, let me
bang your box #
1208
01:16:33,455 --> 01:16:36,049
# Baby, let me bang
your box #
1209
01:16:36,091 --> 01:16:38,958
# Baby, let me bang it,
baby, let me bang it #
1210
01:16:38,994 --> 01:16:41,622
# Baby, let me bang
your box #
1211
01:16:52,507 --> 01:16:56,102
#...Let me bang your box,
oh, baby, I'll give you a thrill... #
1212
01:16:56,144 --> 01:16:58,203
This is a liberated area.
1213
01:16:58,246 --> 01:17:00,976
The sexual revolution
has been won.
1214
01:17:01,016 --> 01:17:03,177
You can finally be free.
Come out.
1215
01:17:03,218 --> 01:17:05,186
The Neuters have fled.
1216
01:17:05,220 --> 01:17:06,847
There is somebody
for everybody.
1217
01:17:06,888 --> 01:17:09,356
- That means you!...
- Ray Ray!
1218
01:17:09,391 --> 01:17:12,918
Straight, gay or bi, there's a new sex
act just waiting for you.
1219
01:17:12,961 --> 01:17:16,089
Sex for everybody!
Fuck your neighbors joyously.
1220
01:17:16,131 --> 01:17:19,066
Hurry!
You, on your front lawn.
1221
01:17:19,101 --> 01:17:21,035
Join us.
Come on, let's go.
1222
01:17:21,069 --> 01:17:23,537
The Neuters are history.
1223
01:17:23,572 --> 01:17:25,563
We are taking over!
1224
01:17:25,607 --> 01:17:27,404
Today Harford Road...
1225
01:17:27,442 --> 01:17:30,502
Tomorrow the world!
1226
01:17:30,545 --> 01:17:33,946
Then all of Baltimore, then up
to Washington and finally New York,
1227
01:17:33,982 --> 01:17:36,610
the Midwest, the South,
California,
1228
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:39,052
Europe, Japan,
North Korea--
1229
01:17:39,087 --> 01:17:41,317
the whole world will soon
fuck at the same time.
1230
01:17:41,356 --> 01:17:43,916
Sexual anarchy
will finally happen.
1231
01:17:48,263 --> 01:17:50,322
Come on, let's go!
Jump on!
1232
01:17:59,941 --> 01:18:02,432
Ladies and gentlemen,
the captain has informed us
1233
01:18:02,477 --> 01:18:03,967
that we have begun
our final approach
1234
01:18:04,012 --> 01:18:06,105
into Ronald Reagan
Washington National Airport.
1235
01:18:06,148 --> 01:18:08,241
Mr. Hasselhoff?
1236
01:18:08,283 --> 01:18:11,275
Sorry to interrupt,
but you are my favorite star.
1237
01:18:11,319 --> 01:18:13,844
- Can I have your autograph?
- Yeah, sure.
1238
01:18:13,889 --> 01:18:15,720
- Thank you.
- If you must use the lavatory
1239
01:18:15,757 --> 01:18:18,282
prior to our scheduled
arrival, please do so at this time.
1240
01:18:18,326 --> 01:18:20,954
Excuse me one second.
Thanks.
1241
01:18:23,331 --> 01:18:25,299
Per FAA regulations,
1242
01:18:25,333 --> 01:18:27,893
please put away
any electronic devices.
1243
01:18:27,936 --> 01:18:31,030
Flight crew,
prepare for landing.
1244
01:18:37,112 --> 01:18:38,807
Sylvia!
1245
01:18:38,847 --> 01:18:41,543
Ursula!
1246
01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:43,608
You're beautiful, baby...
1247
01:18:43,652 --> 01:18:46,052
I'm past that,
Fat Frank, forever!
1248
01:18:48,156 --> 01:18:50,124
Yeah, come on.
1249
01:19:04,206 --> 01:19:08,575
Oh, my pills!
1250
01:19:09,644 --> 01:19:12,613
Oh!
1251
01:19:33,335 --> 01:19:36,463
Oh...
1252
01:19:52,420 --> 01:19:55,878
Honey...
1253
01:19:55,924 --> 01:19:58,825
can I have some lunch
downtown?
1254
01:19:58,860 --> 01:20:01,954
- Oh.
- Dad, ah!
1255
01:20:01,997 --> 01:20:06,127
Oh-hh!
1256
01:20:08,003 --> 01:20:12,406
- Ha-ha!
- No, Vaughn, I've done that.
1257
01:20:14,509 --> 01:20:16,500
You know, don't you?
1258
01:20:31,526 --> 01:20:33,619
Oh!
1259
01:20:47,375 --> 01:20:49,468
Oh-hh!
1260
01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,948
Oh-hh...!
1261
01:21:11,233 --> 01:21:13,463
She was
a Neuter.
1262
01:21:13,501 --> 01:21:16,664
A sexual anorexic
whose time has come.
1263
01:21:40,228 --> 01:21:42,423
Ow! Oh!
1264
01:21:57,545 --> 01:21:59,012
Big Ethel...?
1265
01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:08,249
Ooh-oh!
1266
01:23:07,816 --> 01:23:09,841
The big "O."
1267
01:23:12,587 --> 01:23:15,920
Do it for us
one more time, Ray Ray.
1268
01:23:18,193 --> 01:23:20,525
Now, Ray Ray, now!
1269
01:23:20,562 --> 01:23:24,589
Now!
1270
01:23:26,568 --> 01:23:30,402
Let's go sexing!
1271
01:23:51,893 --> 01:23:55,886
# At the end of a rainbow #
1272
01:23:55,930 --> 01:23:59,832
# You'll find
a pot of gold #
1273
01:23:59,868 --> 01:24:03,634
# At the end of a story #
1274
01:24:03,671 --> 01:24:06,970
# You'll find
it's all been told #
1275
01:24:07,008 --> 01:24:11,445
# But our love
has a treasure #
1276
01:24:11,479 --> 01:24:14,971
# Our hearts
can always spend #
1277
01:24:15,016 --> 01:24:19,180
# And it has a story #
1278
01:24:19,220 --> 01:24:24,089
# Without any end #
1279
01:24:24,125 --> 01:24:27,925
# At the end of a river #
1280
01:24:27,962 --> 01:24:31,762
# The water stops
its flow #
1281
01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:35,998
# At the end of a highway #
1282
01:24:36,037 --> 01:24:39,097
# There's no place
you can go #
1283
01:24:39,140 --> 01:24:43,167
# But just tell me
you love me #
1284
01:24:43,211 --> 01:24:47,580
# And you are only mine #
1285
01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:51,346
# And our love will go on #
1286
01:24:51,386 --> 01:24:54,651
# Till the end... #
1287
01:24:54,689 --> 01:24:59,023
# Of time #
1288
01:25:04,599 --> 01:25:08,501
# At the end of a river #
1289
01:25:08,536 --> 01:25:12,632
# The water stops
its flow #
1290
01:25:12,674 --> 01:25:16,610
# At the end of a highway #
1291
01:25:16,644 --> 01:25:19,841
# There's no place
you can go #
1292
01:25:19,881 --> 01:25:23,977
# But just tell me
you love me #
1293
01:25:24,018 --> 01:25:28,079
# And you are only mine #
1294
01:25:28,123 --> 01:25:32,321
# And our love will go on #
1295
01:25:32,360 --> 01:25:36,160
# Till the end... #
1296
01:25:36,197 --> 01:25:41,100
# Of time #
1297
01:25:41,136 --> 01:25:45,800
# Till the end... #
1298
01:25:45,840 --> 01:25:51,210
# Of time. #
1299
01:26:02,123 --> 01:26:04,785
# Let's go sexing #
1300
01:26:06,561 --> 01:26:08,825
# Let's go
sexing #
1301
01:26:10,832 --> 01:26:13,096
# Let's go sexing #
1302
01:26:15,236 --> 01:26:17,431
# You know I love you #
1303
01:26:17,472 --> 01:26:19,736
# When you make me
feel good #
1304
01:26:19,774 --> 01:26:21,742
# A funny feeling #
1305
01:26:21,776 --> 01:26:23,971
# Pounding in my head #
1306
01:26:24,012 --> 01:26:25,980
# My hands are trembling #
1307
01:26:26,014 --> 01:26:28,346
# My eyes are turning red #
1308
01:26:28,383 --> 01:26:30,214
# I'm a desperate man #
1309
01:26:30,251 --> 01:26:32,947
# With a heavy load #
1310
01:26:32,987 --> 01:26:34,818
# Like a volcano #
1311
01:26:34,856 --> 01:26:37,120
# I'm about to explode #
1312
01:26:37,158 --> 01:26:39,422
# Let's go sexing #
1313
01:26:41,162 --> 01:26:43,722
# Let's go
sexing #
1314
01:26:45,700 --> 01:26:47,964
# Let's go sexing #
1315
01:26:50,305 --> 01:26:52,500
# You know I love you #
1316
01:26:52,540 --> 01:26:54,735
# When you make me
feel good #
1317
01:27:11,659 --> 01:27:14,287
# Let's go sexing #
1318
01:27:16,331 --> 01:27:18,697
# Let's go
sexing #
1319
01:27:20,368 --> 01:27:22,928
# Let's go sexing #
1320
01:27:24,872 --> 01:27:27,136
# You know I love you #
1321
01:27:27,175 --> 01:27:29,541
# When you make me
feel good #
1322
01:27:29,577 --> 01:27:33,638
# Come on, concussion,
liberate my brain #
1323
01:27:33,681 --> 01:27:35,774
# My pulse is rushing #
1324
01:27:35,817 --> 01:27:38,217
# There's lava in my veins #
1325
01:27:38,253 --> 01:27:40,346
# Pumping with passion #
1326
01:27:40,388 --> 01:27:42,447
# Throbbing with desire #
1327
01:27:42,490 --> 01:27:46,426
# A heatseeker missile
with a burning tailfire #
1328
01:27:46,461 --> 01:27:49,328
# Oh, let's go sexing #
1329
01:27:51,132 --> 01:27:53,623
# Let's go sexing #
1330
01:27:55,570 --> 01:27:57,902
# Let's go
sexing #
1331
01:28:00,074 --> 01:28:02,042
# I'll say I love you #
1332
01:28:02,076 --> 01:28:04,670
# If it makes you feel good #
1333
01:28:16,891 --> 01:28:19,416
# I'm a wild Roman candle #
1334
01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:21,428
# With, baby, loads of fire #
1335
01:28:21,462 --> 01:28:24,090
# Oh, let's go sexing #
1336
01:28:25,633 --> 01:28:28,568
# Yeah, let's go sexing #
1337
01:28:30,471 --> 01:28:32,905
# Let's go sexing #
1338
01:28:34,809 --> 01:28:36,777
# I'll say I love you #
1339
01:28:36,811 --> 01:28:39,746
# If you make me feel good #
1340
01:28:41,249 --> 01:28:44,412
# Oh yeah! #
1341
01:28:44,420 --> 01:28:49,999
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