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[dramatic orchestral music]
2
00:00:13,019 --> 00:00:20,019
♪ ♪
3
00:00:23,012 --> 00:00:26,012
[choir vocalizing]
4
00:00:26,013 --> 00:00:33,023
♪ ♪
5
00:00:45,023 --> 00:00:48,003
- Tonight, there was
a royal throwdown
6
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,023
between the Queen of England
7
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:52,013
and the Queen of QVC herself,
8
00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:53,023
Lisa Rinna.
9
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,010
So, Lisa, where did you
leave it with the Queen?
10
00:00:56,008 --> 00:00:58,008
Are you banned from England?
- No.
11
00:00:58,009 --> 00:01:00,009
The queen and I
are totally fine.
12
00:01:00,015 --> 00:01:01,015
We talked it over,
13
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,020
and it was honestly
just a misunderstanding.
14
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,010
We're getting tea next week.
15
00:01:05,011 --> 00:01:07,001
- All right.
Good to hear.
16
00:01:07,006 --> 00:01:09,996
Meghan, you seem
pretty angry with Dorit
17
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,023
over her behavior
with the Queen's guards.
18
00:01:12,018 --> 00:01:15,008
- I just thought it was
completely inappropriate
19
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,009
and I just think
if you're gonna pretend
20
00:01:17,009 --> 00:01:18,019
to have a British accent,
21
00:01:18,023 --> 00:01:21,013
maybe you can pretend to know
the British customs too.
22
00:01:21,012 --> 00:01:22,022
[audience oohing]
23
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:24,021
- Okay, we're gonna go
to the phones.
24
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,008
Caller, what's your question?
25
00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:29,004
- Hey, Andy, big fan.
- Aww, thanks.
26
00:01:29,003 --> 00:01:31,003
- I love everything you do,and I've been watching you
27
00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:32,022
since I was three and I--
- Thanks, caller.
28
00:01:32,021 --> 00:01:35,001
What's your question?
- Sorry.
29
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:36,013
My question is for Meghan.
30
00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:38,014
Meghan, besides"Holder of Briefcase 24"
31
00:01:38,013 --> 00:01:40,003
on "Deal or No Deal,"
32
00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:43,016
what do you thinkyour most impactful role was?
33
00:01:43,022 --> 00:01:46,012
- Is this George?
34
00:01:46,016 --> 00:01:48,006
- I thought
I made my voice
35
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:51,008
sound different enough
when I called in, but nuh-uh.
36
00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:53,018
- It was a very good effort,
your Royal Highness.
37
00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:55,011
- Thanks, O.
38
00:01:55,013 --> 00:01:57,013
Ooh, put in my diary that
I have a microcurrent facial
39
00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:59,016
with Joanna Vargas
at 5:00 Monday.
40
00:01:59,022 --> 00:02:02,012
- Sir, I believe you have
the Queen's charity event
41
00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:03,017
for Gorgensteins then.
42
00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:05,011
- With the fuck
is Gorgensteins?
43
00:02:05,010 --> 00:02:06,020
I've never even heard of that.
44
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,020
- I'm not actually
sure myself, sir.
45
00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,999
- Ugh.
So what am I wearing
46
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,005
to this event
I just found out about?
47
00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:15,020
- I took the liberty of
setting something aside, sir.
48
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:19,006
- Ooh.
Who would have fucking guessed?
49
00:02:19,007 --> 00:02:21,017
A Peter Pan collared shirt
with blue shorts.
50
00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:24,021
The same outfit
you suggest every event.
51
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,010
- I think you look very nice
in this outfit, sir.
52
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:30,000
- You know,
maybe it's my fault,
53
00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:31,016
taking fashion advice
from someone
54
00:02:31,023 --> 00:02:35,013
who's worn the same uniform
every day for 55 years.
55
00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:36,017
- It's practical, sir.
56
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,000
- You know, I have
a uniform too,
57
00:02:39,002 --> 00:02:40,022
but I accessorize it.
58
00:02:40,018 --> 00:02:42,018
I wore a scarf with it
just the other day.
59
00:02:42,021 --> 00:02:45,021
Burberry tartan
will never go out of style.
60
00:02:45,017 --> 00:02:47,007
But you wouldn't know
anything about that.
61
00:02:47,011 --> 00:02:50,021
- I feel very inadequate.
I am very stupid, sir.
62
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,020
- O, O!
It's all right.
63
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,020
Don't cry.
Jesus.
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00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:58,013
I'm just stressed, okay?
Give yourself a hug for me.
65
00:02:58,013 --> 00:03:01,003
Go on.
Do it.
66
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,015
Did my hug
make you feel better?
67
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:09,003
Good.
Now, I don't want to look nice.
68
00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:12,013
I want to look iconic.
I need a stylist.
69
00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:13,995
Who dresses Kaley Cuoco?
70
00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:15,023
She always looks
cute and fresh.
71
00:03:15,018 --> 00:03:17,008
- I don't know who that
is, sir.
72
00:03:17,011 --> 00:03:19,001
- You don't know who anyone is.
73
00:03:19,006 --> 00:03:22,006
Brad Goreski styles her.
I'm gonna DM him.
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00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:24,017
I don't blame you, Owen.
You just don't know any better.
75
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,020
Give yourself a little playful
punch on the shoulder.
76
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,021
There you go.
77
00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:33,008
- I'll get you the documents,
78
00:03:33,008 --> 00:03:35,998
but I'm going
to need more time.
79
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:37,015
Hi, George.
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00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:41,997
- What--were you just--
never mind.
81
00:03:42,002 --> 00:03:45,012
- [groaning]
82
00:03:46,022 --> 00:03:49,022
Spot me, boy.
Spot me, son.
83
00:03:51,009 --> 00:03:54,009
Georgie.
[huffing]
84
00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:55,999
Georgie.
85
00:03:56,004 --> 00:03:58,014
Get 'ere, now.
86
00:03:58,016 --> 00:04:02,016
[dramatic music]
87
00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:05,018
- Hey, who do you have to fuck
to get a mimosa around here?
88
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:07,011
- I apologize,
your Royal Highness.
89
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,013
Right away.
- [babbling]
90
00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:11,024
- Make it two, Mary.
91
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,011
- I'll have another as well.
92
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:15,021
- Maybe just orange juice
for Kate.
93
00:04:15,017 --> 00:04:19,007
- Maybe just champagne.
94
00:04:21,008 --> 00:04:22,998
- Yay, yay, yay, yay.
95
00:04:23,002 --> 00:04:26,012
- A little buzzy buzzy
for my good boy, hmm?
96
00:04:26,013 --> 00:04:29,023
- Mummy, Camilla had
a smashing idea.
97
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:31,020
Yes, darling.
We decided.
98
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,020
She's going to cohost
the Gorgensteins charity event
99
00:04:34,017 --> 00:04:37,007
with you, Mummy.
- She couldn't cohost a shit.
100
00:04:37,013 --> 00:04:40,023
- That's hilarious, Gan Gan.
101
00:04:40,022 --> 00:04:45,012
I-I don't really get it,
but it's still hilarious.
102
00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:50,016
- Get him a bib, you half-wit.
103
00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:52,999
- Mummy and Camilla!
Camilla and Mummy!
104
00:04:53,006 --> 00:04:55,016
You two are going to smash it.
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00:04:55,019 --> 00:04:57,019
- The only thing I'm gonna
smash right now
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00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:58,999
is your thick head.
107
00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:02,013
And what the bloody hell
is Gorgensteins?
108
00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,019
- It's that disease, right?
109
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,000
- I thought it was
a type of plant.
110
00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,014
- Could it be both?
111
00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:09,004
- I'm warning you
all right now, though,
112
00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,996
Camilla is an amazing speaker,
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00:05:11,003 --> 00:05:13,013
and she has a barnburner
of a speech
114
00:05:13,009 --> 00:05:14,999
all locked and loaded.
115
00:05:15,003 --> 00:05:18,003
Care to give us a little
sneak preview, Camilla?
116
00:05:18,005 --> 00:05:21,005
Ooh, she's saving it all
for the big night.
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00:05:21,014 --> 00:05:25,024
- Yeah, I don't really get her
appeal yet, to be honest.
118
00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:33,013
- Can you stop
with the fucking gum?
119
00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:35,007
- All right, I know we've been
short staffed lately,
120
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:37,001
so I think
you'll be excited to hear
121
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,024
I'm interviewing
a young lad later today.
122
00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:41,013
Please make him feel at home
123
00:05:41,016 --> 00:05:43,996
as he'll most likely die here
along with the rest of us.
124
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:46,022
- I hope the new guy's hot.
- Stop.
125
00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:48,019
You think?
He could be our third.
126
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:50,010
- I thought we were
just joking about that.
127
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,996
- Oh, yeah.
We totally were.
128
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,003
I was just doing
a joke off of that.
129
00:05:54,006 --> 00:05:55,006
- Oh.
130
00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:57,021
Look, if you're bored--
- I'm not!
131
00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:00,017
- So here's the deal, Brad.
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00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:04,011
I have a big charity event
this Monday for Gorgensteins.
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00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:05,023
You're familiar?
134
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:08,010
- Of course, so sad.
135
00:06:08,014 --> 00:06:11,004
- Right.
136
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,024
So I wanna look chic,
137
00:06:12,019 --> 00:06:14,999
but I don't wanna look like
I'm trying too hard.
138
00:06:15,006 --> 00:06:17,016
What's on trend right now?
What do you love?
139
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,010
- Well, I love what Balmain
is doing
140
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:22,002
with their summer collection,
Balenciaga sneakers.
141
00:06:22,004 --> 00:06:25,014
I think crossbody bags are--
- Stop right there.
142
00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:28,011
I love everything
you're saying.
143
00:06:28,007 --> 00:06:30,007
I think we're gonna be
best friends.
144
00:06:30,008 --> 00:06:31,998
See, Owen?
Brad gets fashion
145
00:06:32,002 --> 00:06:33,012
like I get fashion.
146
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,000
What do you think
of Burberry tartan?
147
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:38,003
- Oh, God, it's so tired.
148
00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:41,012
- [laughs]
Totally.
149
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:44,008
[knock at door]
150
00:06:44,011 --> 00:06:48,011
- Ah, you must be here
for the job interview.
151
00:06:51,007 --> 00:06:54,007
Well, come in.
Come in, sit.
152
00:06:54,016 --> 00:06:57,016
So we're looking
for a rock star--
153
00:06:57,022 --> 00:07:00,012
an all-round team player
with a high degree
154
00:07:00,012 --> 00:07:02,022
of coordination,
mental fortitude,
155
00:07:02,017 --> 00:07:05,997
and, most importantly,
thick skin.
156
00:07:06,006 --> 00:07:07,016
Turnover can be high,
157
00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:10,021
but if you can get through
the first couple of years,
158
00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:13,011
it's the best job in the world.
159
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:16,013
- Hey, Philip shit
all over the stairs again.
160
00:07:16,013 --> 00:07:19,013
I'd go up, but I'm on break.
161
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,997
- Exciting stuff happening
all the time here.
162
00:07:23,006 --> 00:07:26,996
Let's see your CV.
163
00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:29,004
Hmm.
164
00:07:29,004 --> 00:07:31,024
Not much
hospitality experience,
165
00:07:31,021 --> 00:07:34,021
and I don't see a name on here.
166
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:37,998
I think this is just a napkin.
167
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:40,013
- Keebeen.
168
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,000
- I...
169
00:07:42,006 --> 00:07:44,006
I don't know what that means.
170
00:07:44,014 --> 00:07:46,014
Is that your name?
171
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,008
- Keeebeeen.
172
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:51,021
- Kevin?
Your name's Kevin?
173
00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:53,010
- Keebeen.
174
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,005
- Kevin, you're hired.
175
00:07:55,014 --> 00:07:57,024
And if you have any friends
who you think might be up
176
00:07:57,020 --> 00:08:00,010
to the task, let us know.
Or any family.
177
00:08:00,016 --> 00:08:03,016
[mysterious music]
178
00:08:03,017 --> 00:08:07,007
♪ ♪
179
00:08:07,016 --> 00:08:10,016
- No...family.
180
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,020
[flames crackling,faint shrieking]
181
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,011
- All right, lad.
Here's an apron
182
00:08:14,014 --> 00:08:17,024
and a shit bucket.
Welcome aboard.
183
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:21,008
- This seems so boring.
Too safe.
184
00:08:21,007 --> 00:08:22,007
Ugh, and it feels cheap.
185
00:08:22,013 --> 00:08:25,013
- It's Armani.
- Armani Exchange?
186
00:08:25,010 --> 00:08:27,010
- Armani.
But I totally get it.
187
00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:28,015
Don't worry.
188
00:08:28,021 --> 00:08:30,011
Why don't we try
the next look?
189
00:08:30,007 --> 00:08:32,007
I have a feeling you love it.
190
00:08:32,007 --> 00:08:35,007
- [sighs]
Fine.
191
00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:38,996
None of these outfits
are even worth doing a montage.
192
00:08:40,015 --> 00:08:44,015
- You look amazing,
and it's definitely not boring.
193
00:08:46,014 --> 00:08:48,024
- I look like a chubby
little Lorax.
194
00:08:48,023 --> 00:08:51,013
- No way.
I think you look great,
195
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:53,011
and it really brings out
your eyes.
196
00:08:53,011 --> 00:08:55,011
- I look like I should be
directing air traffic
197
00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:56,008
at Heathrow.
198
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,023
- Are there a lot more
of these?
199
00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:59,013
- Just the two.
200
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:01,008
Why would you even
fucking suggest this?
201
00:09:01,011 --> 00:09:04,011
- But you asked for this suit
to be shipped from Milan.
202
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,001
- Yeah, well, I didn't ask
for your attitude.
203
00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:08,015
Does that come complementary
with your shit service?
204
00:09:08,019 --> 00:09:11,999
Owen, see this man out.
205
00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:14,023
- I'm sorry, Mr. Goreski.
- It's all right.
206
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,020
I used to dress Anne Hathaway.
207
00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,021
- Thank you for all you're
doing with Gorgensteins.
208
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,020
- No, thank you.
209
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:24,007
We couldn't do it
without your help.
210
00:09:24,015 --> 00:09:26,015
- We met at last year's
garden party.
211
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,000
Do you remember me?
Patsy.
212
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:33,024
- Yes, of course!
Patsy.
213
00:09:33,018 --> 00:09:35,008
I saw you the second
you walked in
214
00:09:35,010 --> 00:09:39,010
and I said,
"There's dear Patsy."
215
00:09:39,014 --> 00:09:41,024
Kill me.
216
00:09:41,023 --> 00:09:44,013
- You never should have told me
to get a stylist, Owen.
217
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,996
Brad stunk.
- I apologize, sir.
218
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,004
- Stop trying to change me.
219
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,015
I'm iconic.
I always have been.
220
00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,011
Right?
- Quite right, sir.
221
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:56,007
- I'll take one of those.
222
00:09:56,009 --> 00:10:00,009
Ugh.
Never mind.
223
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:01,999
Does he have Gorgensteins?
224
00:10:02,006 --> 00:10:04,006
- Everyone, everyone,
gather round.
225
00:10:04,011 --> 00:10:07,001
As you all know,
my two favorite girls
226
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,996
put together this brilliant
event for Gorgensteins.
227
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:13,006
Mummy, you're always
talking about charity.
228
00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:15,997
Why, I remember you mentioning
it the first time we met.
229
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:19,023
I was seven, I believe,
and you looked at me and said,
230
00:10:19,022 --> 00:10:22,012
"Who is this charity case?"
231
00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:25,011
So inspiring.
Now to the main event.
232
00:10:25,013 --> 00:10:27,013
Camilla has a little speech
prepared
233
00:10:27,014 --> 00:10:30,024
that's going
to knock your socks off.
234
00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:32,997
Come on, darling.
You can do it.
235
00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:35,013
Sugar cube?
236
00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:38,013
There we go.
237
00:10:38,007 --> 00:10:40,007
[microphone feedback whining]
238
00:10:44,004 --> 00:10:45,014
[thunder crashes]
239
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,021
[all exclaiming]
240
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,023
- [groans]
241
00:10:49,021 --> 00:10:52,021
[dramatic music]
242
00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:56,020
♪ ♪
243
00:10:59,018 --> 00:11:03,018
- Now that we're finally alone,
William, we need to talk.
244
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,998
- About what?
- Us.
245
00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:08,002
I'm not sure if you don't care
about me
246
00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:10,024
or if it's that you don't care
about anything at all.
247
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:11,999
- That's not fair.
248
00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,012
- I don't know
when you stopped trying,
249
00:11:13,013 --> 00:11:15,023
but it's like
you're on autopilot.
250
00:11:15,018 --> 00:11:17,018
- That's not fair.
- See?
251
00:11:18,001 --> 00:11:21,021
I can't take it any longer!
252
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:24,001
Smash a vase.
253
00:11:24,003 --> 00:11:25,023
- You're being unreasonable.
254
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:27,012
Stomp your foot.
255
00:11:27,015 --> 00:11:30,995
- And I'm trapped in monotony.
256
00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:34,013
Charity event today,
an award ceremony tomorrow.
257
00:11:34,009 --> 00:11:37,019
Fund-raisers, dinners,
over and over and over.
258
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:40,011
I can't live like this.
259
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:43,017
I married you
because I loved you,
260
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:48,010
and now I'm not sure
I love anything at all.
261
00:11:48,014 --> 00:11:50,024
I'm unhappy, William.
262
00:11:50,022 --> 00:11:52,012
- Who isn't?
263
00:11:52,007 --> 00:11:53,007
- Scream.
264
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,011
- [shrieking]
265
00:11:55,008 --> 00:11:57,008
- Get ahold of yourself.
266
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,996
[gasps]
How dare you.
267
00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:03,006
I'll sleep in the guest palace
tonight.
268
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:05,014
Slam the door behind me.
269
00:12:06,022 --> 00:12:09,002
- Shall I cry, Ma'am?
- Oh, no, thank you.
270
00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:11,015
I'll do it myself.
271
00:12:11,017 --> 00:12:14,007
[door opens and shuts]
272
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:16,020
[crying]
273
00:12:18,021 --> 00:12:20,021
[thunder crashes]
274
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:27,010
I have got to get out of here.
275
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:30,014
[dramatic orchestral music]
276
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:37,016
♪ ♪
19921
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