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I grew up in
a really brutal household.

There was a lot of physical
abuse, emotional abuse.

On my 15th birthday,

my father woke me up and
kicked me out of the house.

That was the last time I've
seen anybody in my family.

I was 15-years-old

with a grocery bag full of
clothes and that was it.

And I was thumbing
down the highway,

trying to figure out
what to do next,

and this guy picked me up.

It didn't take him very long

to figure out what was going on,

and he gave me a place to
stay and a job, you know.

On the condition that
I kept going to school.

Then he taught me how to cook.

There was this girl, Susan,
that I met,

and we fell in love

and we got pregnant.

It just kind of blew me away.

I was still a kid, but now
I'm gonna have a kid.

And then we had the baby, and...

It was amazing.
I mean...

There's this little

thing...
There's this baby there,

and it's alive and it needs
you for everything right now.

It can't...

The only thing it knows
how to do right now

is breathe and poop.

It's depending on you for

everything else you need to do.

And that was just like...

It was really, really
overwhelming, you know.

It was just... Wow.

Up until that point,
my biggest concern was

putting gas in my car.

You know, what was I
going to have for dinner?

And now, there's something
dependent on me.

It was... It was...

It was an awakening,
it really was.

So how are you all doing?

You guys have been
here for about...

Well, some of you for years,

and some of you just got here.

Let's start with you.

You've been here
a very short time.

What do you think of this place?

I mean, I enjoy living here.

I mean, the rent's
not killing us

or anything like that.

It's an adjustment from prison?

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it definitely
took some adjustment

just getting used to

living outside and
stuff like that.

How long do you think
it takes to kind of decompress?

I've decompressed a lot,

but I wouldn't say that
I'm totally there yet.

Okay, okay.

I still got some quirks.

I've been out for six years
and I'm still decompressing.

- Really? Wow.
- Yes, sir.

That's why I like being
here in the park.

I'm fairly insulated.

I mean, I can still branch out
and go do what I gotta do,

but here I'm kind of insulated.

Everybody's been through
what I've been through, so...

You know,
there's that understanding.

People can talk when
you stop on the street.

Instead of just saying hi,

they stop and talk about
what they're going through.

Yeah. I've been able to
open up more here,

'cause I never had
that opportunity before.

So, that's actually a very
good thing for me.

The strength
is in the camaraderie,

and that's what makes
this place work.

I'm only here couple of
hours a week.

It's you guys being there
for each other

that makes the difference.

I usually get bored.

That's one of the...

the big problems for me,
if I start to get bored,

I start looking for some
trouble to get into.

Idle hands, tools of the devil.

An average day, I would go to
work for six-seven hours.

I would come home. I would
either play a computer game,

or surf the Internet,
or look at pornography

until I fell asleep.

That was my life.

I was choosing unhealthy things,

specifically the pornography,

to spend time with.

Between the first
time I had sex,

and the time I got arrested,

any girlfriend that I had,
it was always

me trying to push 'em
towards sex.

I had convinced myself
in my head

that, you know, everybody
else is having sex.

When I finally had a girl
that I was interested in,

she rejected me.

So I got really angry
that night.

I didn't have
anything else to do,

and I borrowed a car
from family that was there

and drove all the way to Mexico.

I drove around for maybe
two or three hours,

looking for
the red light district.

I couldn't find a prostitute.

I'd just get angrier
and angrier and angrier.

Finally,

I found this little girl.

And she was walking
with her cousin

and I grabbed her and
I threw her into the car

and I drove off.

They were closer to his house.

And the little cousin
ran over to the house.

And...

And his uncle,
or whoever it was,

they hop in the car
and they start chasing me

all over kingdom come.

Finally I'm able to lose them...

And...

That's when I did my...

I did those...
I raped her.

Florida Justice Transitions

is a program
designed to transition felons,

or at risk populations
in general,

back into society

so that they may become
productive citizens.

All of the staff here
are sex offenders

that have been through
the program themselves

and they want to give back.

I was convicted of
solicitation via the Internet.

And I came here out of prison.

Because I needed a place to
live, I didn't have anybody.

I didn't know what my family
thought at that time.

I wasn't speaking to them.

I got quite involved
immediately.

I took it over from Nancy
due to her health failing,

and so she asked me
if I would help.

And I came in and I
helped for a while

and then I took it
over from her.

A typical resident,

when they come into our program,

they generally stay for
the life of their probation

and the counseling
provided by Don Sweeney

is essentially
a two year program.

A sex offender in
the state of Florida

is an individual who
committed a sex crime,

which is a very large list

of things that could
qualify somebody

to be actually labeled as
a registered sex offender.

The typical reaction
of a normal citizen

is, "We don't care.

They committed the crime,
so, we don't care if they die."

Not to mention I'll be restoring
sheds and renting them out.

I'm gonna call them a house.

- Really?
- Right. Like these.

I spend nine hours a day

working in a back breaking job

for $9 an hour.

Those are the people that
are gonna hire you.

Guys who need the help
and a high turnover job,

and are gonna pay very little
money for the effort.

What do you do to change it?

The change is unlikely.

You're just gonna have to
do what you did in prison

and do what you gotta do to

survive on a day to day basis.

That's all you can do.

I disagree.

I think you have to, uh,

take it outside yourself and
look at the bigger picture.

Nobody's gonna stand up
and fight for us.

That's why we've gotta do
something about it now.

Thanks for the drink, guys.

Bill, thank you for
your company, buddy.

Enjoyed having you over.

Well, I'd hoped
that Bill would stay longer.

He ain't got no choice.

What is this? Is he on
some kind of a...

He's on house arrest.

- He is?
- Yeah.

I had no idea.

He got I think it was like
two years on house arrest

because he failed to register
an alternate address.

He'd been staying with
his girlfriend.

You know, he's allowed to run
out to Home Depot

or something like that.

You know, for stuff
for the park.

But other than that,
he's supposed to be here.

And his shopping time is
5:00 to 7:00 on Saturdays.

I was convicted of

attempted capital
sexual battery.

And I spent a total of
12 years incarcerated.

I'm a maintenance
and security here,

so I get up every morning

and I go to the office to see

if there's any
maintenance issues

that popped up overnight.

If there are, I'll handle them.

If they're not, then I go back
to rebuilding the trailers.

There's a lot of people
out in the world

that don't think very rationally

about how to handle us.

So, you get a lot of vigilantes.

You get a lot of people that

wanna come in here
starting trouble,

or they're a little drunk,

so, they want to come in here
and start trouble.

with the "baby rapers"
as they call us.

So, it's my job to make sure
that our residents are safe.

5:15.

I write down my time,
my mileage,

everywhere I'm going.

I have a little green dot
on a computer

to tell 'em where I am any time.

But I still have to
write all this down.

It's silly.

Here we are.

Sorry about Waldo, Lloyd.

Yeah, well...

This is gonna sound like
a really stupid question.

What the hell is that?

That was in my dryer when
I went to put my clothes in.

It's a sack of rats.

Somebody left it there?

It was just sitting in my dryer.

I thought it might be a little
bag of socks or something.

How you doing?

I'm doing.

I'm still here,
I'm still alive, still kicking.

Worry about your shift
for right now.

Yeah, right? That's what
I'll worry about.

I called my parents,

I said, "look, I need
somebody to help me out."

Good morning, guys.
Nothing new?

Yeah, there's one...

Just the one for Volano?

- Yeah.
- All right.

I gotta take care of that today.

All right.

See you guys.

I grew up in an
extremely abusive home.

When I was six-years-old,

there was a babysitter
that used to

fondle me, my brother.

Do things to us sexually.

She would threaten that

if I didn't do what she
wanted me to do,

then she would tell my
parents that I didn't behave

and I knew I was gonna
get a beating.

So, I got a choice between
feeling good or feeling pain,

so I would always choose
to feel good.

She would get us naked.

She would do things to us
with her panties.

She would masturbate us.
She would

rub her vagina on our faces.

That kind of thing.

And we didn't tell our parents
a whole lot of anything.

We were more scared
of our parents.

The same babysitter, she had
brought this doll over.

It was a stuffed doll,
life sized for us at the time.

And she cut a hole in the thing

where the vagina should be.

And showed my brother
how to have

intercourse with this doll.

Well, my mother walked in

and saw my brother
doing this one day,

and she ended up
putting Tabasco sauce

on my brother's penis

and then making him go
sit out on the curb.

And to this day I can remember
that kid howling,

'cause he was in so much pain.

I mean, she put Tabasco
sauce on his penis!

She didn't ask him,
"Where did you learn that?"

She just punished him.

So, no, we didn't talk about it.

Well, I was raised
outside of Chicago.

That's where I met Susan.

I was actually 16 and she
was 15 when we got pregnant.

I didn't know what to do,
so I joined the Navy.

You know, I can do
20 years in the Navy

and retire and learn a trade
or whatever.

But at least that way the
family would be taken care of.

So, I did that.

Then we got married,

had the baby.

It was the most joyous,
happiest time of my life.

I mean, here's a baby.

This is a piece of me.
We did this.

It was so cool.

It was really cool.

About a year after he was born,

we went to Chicago
for Christmas.

And we were driving down
Highway 10, I think it was,

and my car broke down.

Two o'clock in the morning.

Got a one-year-old son
and my wife in a car...

So, I was gonna
go get some help,

rather than carry
the baby around.

And when I came back from
getting some help...

Of course, back then there
was no cell phones or anything.

And when I came back from

making a phone call...

there was a tractor trailer

sitting on top of my Volkswagen.

And, um...

They were killed.

Sorry.

They were killed
by a drunk driver.

The guy was sleeping with

a bottle of Jack Daniels
in his lap.

They fine him $500

and took away his license
for six months.

I went on a 20 year spin off.
I just...

tried to kill myself
for 20 years.

I did everything
I could extreme.

I got into drugs,
I got into partying.

Everything dangerous
that I could do.

I just...

stopped really caring.

All right, everybody.

You guys ready?

What would you like to
talk about today?

I feel I'm set up
for failure every day.

Yes.

I got a probation officer
telling my job,

"Why'd you hire a sex offender?

Are you crazy?"
I got a probation officer

telling my landlord that I
was masturbating to children

when I wasn't. I was a flasher.

The law says that they

have to contact
the potential employer

within 30 days of hire.

But they're not supposed to
scare the employer either.

Every job has said
horrible things

to every one of the employers
that I've had.

That's defamation of character.

We can actually all get together

and tell them to shut it down.

Your employer will
see for him or herself.

They are gonna make
their own decisions.

If you're a good worker...

- Okay?
- If they give you a chance.

If you do a great job
and you're an offender,

then other co...

The HR department will
allow other offenders

to come into that company.

And that's happened a lot
with us.

Have a great day.

I was hired back in 1983,

to treat the victims
of sexual abuse.

What was going on was,

once the system came in

and started breaking up
the family

and arresting the perpetrator,

the kids realized that

the family wasn't
gonna get any help.

Then they would recant.

Recant means they would say,
"Oh, I made it up."

Then they'd release
the offender from jail

and the Civil Child Protection
Authorities would move in

and take the kid and put
the child in foster care,

the victim.

My job was to make sure
the kids didn't recant.

I found out
by just listening to them,

that if I was willing to talk
to their offenders,

and try to help them somehow,

they wouldn't recant.

And my only obligation
was to go to the jail

and visit the offender,

and try to help them
get some treatment.

But there was no treatment.

So, that forced me to start
counseling for the men.

All right.

You take care of yourself.

All right, buddy, I'll see you.

Bye bye, now.

What about that wall there?

You got it fixed?

- Yeah.
- Right, that way.

There's a bunch of boxes
right here.

Okay.

I don't have any foam
other than what's here.

I think I have a wall here.

Yeah, just start there

and just carry it
all the way through.

Just like you did in my house.

You don't have to change this...

Uh, we don't know if
it's going to work.

Kettle corn.

That's what this is.

Thank you.

I don't know what flavors
these are,

they are donated.

We have that one, too.

Yeah, that's good.

We want that one.

Do you have that one?

My dad said, "You're
gonna help me clean my room."

And I said, "Okay."

You know, like,
"I get to go with daddy."

And my little sister, she's
four years younger than me,

she was still a baby
in a little play pen.

So, we went down the hall
and went to the bedroom,

and he locked the door.

And he said, "You know that
you're daddy's girl,

and I love you, and I just
wanna share this with you."

When my mom would go to work,

and he was home,

certain songs would
come on the radio.

He would look at me and I knew
it was gonna be time again.

Even now, if they come on,

I cringe.

I know there were

other men my mom dated

that did things to us as well.

But the only two men
that I remember

is my dad and Glen.

One day, Glen had...

raped me...

You know, because I was
already damaged goods,

so, it wouldn't matter
if one more man did.

And, um...

I remember laying there crying,

and he slapped me and told me

that if he wanted
everyone to know

what he was doing to me,
he would take...

this ho and put me
in the street.

And I shut up. I didn't
say anything else.

But after that,

it caused my body...

I guess all I can tell you
is it cause my body

to want those same feelings.

And I didn't know how to
make myself feel those feelings

except for to act the same
thing on someone else.

So, I did, with my cousin.

And my aunt tore off
a tree branch

and whipped me and whipped me
and whipped me,

and told me that I was
going to hell.

And that I was not going
to be like my father.

That was my second grade year,

'cause they took us
away that year.

Like you, I don't have a whole
lot of eloquent

words or speeches.

But sometimes we have
a wake up call in our life.

When you read this...

It's really wild.

I went to five
different homes between

second grade and fifth grade.

I started craving sex
all the time.

With anybody.

It got to a point to where

it didn't matter who you were.

And when I was 11,

I was sleeping with
a 16-year-old boy.

I didn't have a menstrual.

So, they took me to the thing.

They told me that...

they'd have to give me some
medicine to help me sleep

to give me an exam.

When I woke up,
I was bleeding again.

So, I was like, "Oh, okay."
You know.

I'm 11-years-old.
I don't know.

They told me that
I'd just been sick,

and I was fine now.

I still slept around,
still did everything,

but it did come back.
They told me that

all of my insides were messed up

from being messed with
when I was little.

That I would never
carry a child.

That they had gave me
an abortion and I didn't know.

Electronic monitoring
is a device

that the offender carries on

their waist or in their pockets.

It reports to a satellite,

and their probation officer

can see at any time of
the day or night

where they are.

It does pinpoint to within
three feet of where they are.

All sex offenders are asked
to go report

to the Sex Offender Registry,

that tells
the Sheriff's Department

where they live,
where they work,

what car they're driving,
what email address they have,

if they're going to school,
which school they're going to.

And they have to do that
a minimum of twice a year,

every single year.

Anybody that lives
in the community

can got to the Sheriff's
Department website

and see who's living
next door to them.

They also have applications
on cell phones now...

And people have it.

It's called Offender Locater.
Right here.

And if you press on it,

it will ask you,
"Use current location?"

And then it searches.

And there you go.

It brings up anybody
within a radius

of where we're currently at.

It reports their names.

It gives their picture.

It shows any aliases.

It gives a current address.

It gives their crime.

What crime they committed.

The date of the crime.

Gender, date of birth.

Height, weight, hair color
and eye color.

I was arrested in one of
those internet stings.

I replied to a Craigslist ad
for sex

for a 30-year-old woman.

- 30?
- Thirty was the age in the ad.

And you were 22 at the time?

Yes.

I had responded to
several ads that night.

That was the only one
that replied back to me.

We started talking.

She said she wanted to include
her 14-year-old daughter.

You mean,
bring her along? Or...

Oh, I was going to their place.

So, like, she wanted me to
have sex with the daughter.

And I was saying stuff,

what I would like to do
with the mother,

and they keep pushing.

And in hindsight
it's so obvious.

Their tactics are so childish.

But I was caught up in it.

All that shows up in the
police report is the one thing

she got me to say
about the daughter.

She pressured me
into saying that.

I still showed up.

And it was a sting.
Got arrested.

You know, you're very smart.
You got a master's degree.

So, this about is kind of
an emotional immaturity.

You got suckered into something.

Do you look at it like
an addiction piece?

I would just kind of
look for attention with...

I'd just talk to people online.

Usually just chit-chatty stuff,
talk about food.

Just attention.

And that night
I wanted attention.

So, you were at the wrong place
at the wrong time,

on the wrong website,
with the wrong--

- Yes.
- ...undercover police officer.

Yes.

There are a lot of young kids

that got sucked into
the internet sex

law enforcement stings,

which are increasing
in frequency.

That's pure entrapment.

They're not child molesters.
They're not.

That's what they're
being labeled.

That's a testament to how
desperate they are

to keep the sex offender
machine going.

The real offenders
are the families.

They're not reporting anything,

so now they're
manufacturing them.

They'll spend money
on the prison system,

which is the money maker
for politicians

and governments now.

You can take out stock
on Wall Street

in prisons in Florida.

I discovered in prison

that violence makes me
physically ill.

I was in the library

and someone got
punched in the face.

It was just one
punch to the face.

I had stomach ache
the whole day.

Prison was awful.
The food is horrendous.

The guards treat you horribly.

But I made some
friends in there.

My mother wrote me
every single day.

My girlfriend wrote me
multiple times a week.

My friends, my professors,
my father...

So, I got a lot of mail.

So, I was fortunate.

June 26th was my
sentencing hearing.

The state attorney, who was
supposed to be against me,

didn't have anything to say.

He said, "Whatever you
wanna do, Judge."

You could tell he didn't
really wanna send me away.

But he's got a job to do.

So, the judge took it
on himself.

And when it came down
to sentencing,

he gave me one year,
one day in prison,

and three years probation.

So, unlike most people,

he actually gave me
less than the cap.

So then they sent me

seven hours North

to a prison camp
away from my family.

I was always a family man.

I was always a good father.

I had a beautiful wife,

two beautiful sons,

great job.

You know, was living the life.

It was a 10 minute conversation

in a chat room,

with an individual that said
they were 14-years-old.

Turned out to be a cop.

And got convicted
of soliciting a minor.

Go find some place else to live.

You've been evicted.

It's never gonna be like it
used to be back home.

It destroyed our lives.

My wife, she had to
sell our home.

She couldn't afford it
without my salary.

And she was mad.

I wanted to kill myself
because I was so stupid.

My two sons and I
were very, very close.

Very close.

And they just had a real
hard time dealing with it.

But they finally came to see me.

I have a picture in my bedroom

hanging on the wall
of the first time.

And that was, uh...

It was good.

I met Richard...

That was in August.

October 1st I found out
I was pregnant.

Wasn't supposed to get pregnant.

So, I didn't do anything

to keep from getting pregnant.

My grandma told me I
couldn't live with her.

My grandmother, my aunts...

'Cause they're from, you know,

that time of life where
you have to be married

to have a baby.

So I went and told Richard that

we were having a baby,
we have to get married.

I married him November 13th,

I left him December 6th
the same year.

He tried to run me over
with the car.

He blew a rod through my motor

and got me kicked out
of my trailer,

all on the same night.

I was three-four
months pregnant.

I had nothing.

And the next year,

I wound up marrying Steve.

Dustin was born in May of '94.

I can't remember what
his first words...

were.

I really can't remember when
he took his first steps.

I was drinking

and secretly drinking.

And that's the worst kind,

because you're always trying
to hide everything,

and trying to be so perfect

that you don't want
anybody to know.

And Steve didn't drink.

Steve didn't do drugs.

Steve was like...

you know, the boy next door

that everybody wants
their daughter to marry.

And that drove me crazy.

I left him when Dustin
was two-years-old.

And I'd started

talking and seeing my dad again.

And had started sleeping
with my dad again.

And I know this must
sound really sick,

'cause I still can't wrap
my hands around it.

And I still love him
to death, I mean...

I don't hate him.

I didn't even...

At one time I had, like,
some really crazy

things in my head that I
wanted to do to my dad.

But that changed

over years.

And then...

I was talking to guys
and stuff online,

and was going to those, uh,

naturalists and nudists
websites.

And I had met this guy.
We'd been talking for, like,

two or three months.

And he knew my story
about my dad.

He knew that I was
sleeping with my dad.

And um...

He had talked to Dustin
a couple of times.

Dustin was eight.

And I didn't think
nothing of it.

And then one time

it had gotten really bad with
me and my dad.

And I had told my dad that
I couldn't do it anymore.

And...

I was crying to Dominic,
was the guy

on the computer.

And...

Dominique told me, he said,

"Well, Tracy, there's
one thing we can do."

And he said,
"I'll take care of you.

I'll take care of Dustin."

He said,
"I'll send you the money."

You know, he said Western Union,

I will have money to get here.

He said,
"All you have to do..."

He said, "All you have to do
is ask Dustin

if he'll have sex with you
and let me watch.

And it'll be okay
if he says yes."

And I kept thinking

how much I loved Dustin.

And how much I knew he loved me.

And I was like,
"I can't do that."

And I kept drinking.

And he kept talking
and he kept telling me,

"I'll take care of you.
You'll be okay.

You'll be away from him,
he won't do it again,

it'll never happen again."

So, one night
I was sitting there,

Dustin was sitting there.

And I took him and
I said, "Dustin," I said,

"I love you." And he said,
"I know, Mama."

I've never ever, ever told this

to nobody.

He was my baby.

He was my baby.

And then I took that trust

and that day he hated me.

I came from a household

where I never really
learned how to care,

and then once I finally
cared about something,

it just got snatched
away from me.

I figured the thing to do
was stop giving a shit.

And then I met a woman...

Uh, Stephanie.

And she had a daughter
when I met her.

That was a "I should have
never gotten married" wish.

But, you know, you think
you're doing the right thing.

Because of the experience
with the baby sitter,

I developed this...

I don't know if you wanna
call it a fetish

with women's panties.

When it first started,
it was my mother's panties.

And my father would find out,

and I would get beat up.

And I really was ashamed.
There was this...

horrible dirty thing.

Matter of fact, I once let
my girl Stephanie

think I was cheating on her

rather than tell her the truth.

Because she found a pair
of panties in the bed.

And one day,

the daughter was having
a sleepover

and all the wives were
out partying.

About two o'clock
in the morning,

I was in my bedroom,
smoking a joint,

watching pornography

and masturbating.

And all of a sudden
this little girl

walked into my room,

to get a glass of water.

The next day talked to
her mother about it,

told her what had happened.

They said that I
touched her daughter,

despite the fact that
the daughter said I never did.

So, I got five years
of probation for that.

About four and a half years
into that probation,

I got a dirty urine
for smoking pot,

and that was all they needed
to send me to prison.

And then right around
the same time

when I went to prison,

my girlfriend was at work,

and the 12 year old daughter
came into my bedroom

and said, "Look, Billy. I can
wear my mommy's panties."

That kind of threw me
over the edge,

and I started masturbating
in front of her.

And that was
my second conviction.

I was definitely guilty there.

She's a 12 year old girl,

she didn't need to be
exposed to that.

I'm the adult.

I'm supposed to take
control of that situation

and not abuse it.

What's up, Matt?

How did it go in court?

I tried to get that
electronic monitoring.

I tried to get that
knocked down in half,

but they said that they can't
change something like that.

It's so expensive.
I can't afford it.

It's $8000.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, so, it's just...

They put me in a big hole
with this box.

Hey, Mike, is Gary home?

- Who?
- Your roommate.

I don't know. I'll see.
Come on in.

I can't.
You got it locked.

Hey, Gary.

Hey was that your friends on
the bikes a little while ago?

Yeah.

Hey, listen, if they don't
like sex offenders,

they don't need to
come in our park.

I don't need 'em bad mouthing
us, talking about pedophiles.

All right?
I don't need that.

If they can't be respectful,

they don't need to
come in the park.

All right, Bill.

All right, man.

How you doing?

By the way you dropped
a Butterfinger on the floor

at class, Saturday.

Did you get it?

I picked it up and
I put it on the table.

It's kind of, uh...

Kind of a complex situation...

I guess.

You still try to work
these things out

years later.

And I went through
a long period where

I probably could
have convinced anybody

I was telling the truth.

Long period of denial.

I had myself convinced.

Accepting responsibility
becomes...

probably the single most
important thing

that anyone in
my situation can do.

Believe it or not,

I think just about all of us
have a conscience.

And, um...

The conscience really
works on you.

It makes it become the most
important thing to you,

that you address the issue
and make it right,

before you can move on.

I'm a homosexual.

And I ran from that.

And just like with any other

issue that you have
left on its own,

it goes unresolved,

and it was a driving force
behind my offense.

It's too easy to say
that's the reason.

The real fault

lies with the individual.

The real fault lies with me.

'Cause I don't want people
to get the idea

that you can just point
to one thing

and say that was it.

"Oh, I was molested when
I was a child, so..."

That's a trigger,

that's a catalyst.

But it's not the end result.

He made bad decisions.

My name is Will.
I was convicted of two counts

of lewd, lascivious molestation.

One against an eight year old,

and one against a 13 year old.

They were completely different

in terms of approach,

but what it really
boiled down to,

was it was a couple of
crimes of opportunity.

The first was someone I knew.

We were rough-housing
a little bit, but,

in my mind he could say yes.

Children do wanna play.

And rough-housing's okay,
and wrestling.

They're not thinking
along sexual lines.

So they're just innocently
going along with it.

And if they like you...

I don't know your crime
or you all that well,

but I think it would be really
interesting a year from now

to ask you that same question

and see if you still think
it was a crime of opportunity.

There was a lot of setup
that I wasn't aware of.

There was a lot of fantasy
that I wasn't aware of.

I swore to God that was
a crime of opportunity.

It presented itself
and I capitalized.

And I found out through
a lot of therapy,

and a lot of talking to friends,

and a lot of thinking,

that I set it all up
without even knowing it.

There's things they call sub
seemingly unimportant decisions,

things we make. "Why did I go
this way at work today?"

Whatever it is.

And I didn't know it.

It took years and years
for me to figure it out.

But a year from now I'd be
really interested to see

how you're gonna answer
that same question.

What about relationships?

Were you in a healthy adult
relationship at the time?

I was in an extraordinarily
unhealthy relationship.

So, that was a piece
of the puzzle as well.

First of all,
it was with a female,

which was a mistake
right from the pat.

Because I'm not heterosexual.

So you were trying to
be something you weren't?

- Yes.
- So, it was a way for you

to break out and accept
who you were?

Yeah, it's not an excuse.
I agree.

No, not at all.

It is part of the puzzle.

But you have to
look at the causes.

Because if you
don't identify causes,

you can't address them.

Now that you've taken
care of that problem,

'cause you're brutally
honest about it,

and you've come full circle
and accepted who you are,

you're not afraid of
the subject matter anymore?

No.

That's half
the battle right there.

The state of Florida
has this program

called the Jimmy Ryce Center.

And it's where they
send sex offenders

after their prison sentence,

until they determine
that they're not,

probably go commit more crimes.

They send you to Jimmy Ryce
for what they call

"long term control, care
and treatment".

They have this machine
called the PPG,

and basically what it is is,

a wire with a meter,

some sort of a sensor
attached to your penis,

and that's hooked to
a computer and they show you

pornographic images

somewhere akin to your crimes.

And the idea is to
measure your penis growth,

you know, through arousal.

Another one they would use
would be taste.

You'd have to taste
something horrible,

or even sometimes pain.

They'd take a thumb tack
and stick it in your thumb,

or a rubber band and snap it on
your wrist or something like that.

And the idea is
to try to separate

sexual arousal with
deviant behaviors.

I spent eight
and a half years there.

I've always told people that
there wasn't a single day

that I wanted to be there.

But I was there.

There was nothing I could
do about it.

And I figured, you know,

despite the fact that
I was already 40,

it was time for me to grow up.

♪ It's starting
To turn winter ♪

♪ And the nights
Are growing cold ♪

♪ With a crick in my neck
Downstairs I check ♪

♪ For a blanket I can hold

♪ I can't remember
When I last bathed ♪

♪ It seems so long ago

♪ With dirty clothes
And filthy hair ♪

♪ There's no place
I can go ♪

♪ Yes, I am the homeless

♪ I sleep beneath the stars

♪ In rundown shacks
By railroad tracks ♪

♪ And in old, abandoned cars

♪ It's a life
Not of my choosing ♪

♪ And that shall be
My legacy ♪

♪ Without a home
The streets I roam ♪

♪ There's no future

♪ For me

Dustin was still eight,

and we had enrolled him
in the YMCA.

One day I went to go pick him up

and they told me, "We can't
let you have Dustin.

He's not here."

I said, "What do you mean
I can't have him?

Where's he at?"

And the woman pulled me
in the room,

and she told me what
he had said.

Him and a bunch
of little boys were

all talking,

and they were talking about sex.

Like nine-ten year old boys do.

And...

And he had said he had
had sex before,

and they said,
"No, you haven't."

And he said yeah, he had.
He had had sex with his mom.

And they got the counselors
and everything,

and they took him.

And, um...

They took him to, like...

Like a group home,

juvenile place.

And they let me go see him
with supervision and stuff.

And...

one thing that I hated
about my father,

'cause he would never
tell me he was sorry.

Or that I was right,

and that he was wrong
for what he did.

And I didn't wanna
do that to Dustin.

So, one of the first things
that I did when I seen him

is I gave him a hug

and I told him
that I wasn't mad.

I was actually...

I was glad it was over.

I didn't have...
I could...

breathe.

I don't know if I can say that,
but it was like...

everything that I was running...

And I didn't even know
that I was running from.

Was over.

You know, he was safe now

and it was over.

And I called... They called...

The court people called Steve...

And the last day I seen him

they let me take him out to the
little park where they had...

And, um, they had these swings.

And he was sitting on my lap,
and I told him.

I said, "Dustin,
I love you so much."

And I said, "I am so sorry
for hurting you.

For doing everything."

I said, "Not just for that,
but for everything.

For putting you

through everything...

that I've done to you.

The places, the people,
everything."

And I said, "I'm not mad at you.

You did right. You did
what you should've done,

and I'm proud of you."

And those were the last words
I got to say to him.

And they just... left.

I was supposed to see him
the next morning.

I didn't know those were
going to be my last words.

But I wanted him to know,

because my whole life

I wanted my dad to tell me that.

My whole life I waited for that,

or for my mom to tell me
she was sorry,

that she loved me.

And I wasn't gonna make him
go through the same thing.

I turned myself in.

Went in, signed the paperwork.

I said, "Whatever my son
said I did,

print it out,
I'll sign it."

The judge looked at me
and he says,

"Do you know what
you're signing?"

I said, "I don't care."

He says, "Ma'am, what that
books says

is that if they choose to,
they could put you

in Jimmy Ryce for
the rest of your life."

And I said,
"I don't care."

The only thing... I wrote
a letter,

and the only thing I asked

was if they would please
put a stipulation

to where I could have
contact with my son.

There's no healing
in this business.

Once you convict the offender
and send them off to prison,

the system disappears for
the victim and the family.

There's no help.

So nobody's really working
on what happened,

or what people think.

I don't want to demonize
the victim business.

It's almost like a religion
in this country.

But there's something
wrong with it.

They only perceive
women as victims,

they refuse to accept that
men are victims.

They don't even wanna go near

the fact that the sex offenders
are victims.

Offenders will continue
to act out

until they're stopped

and they understand
their behavior.

So, of you look at it
mathematically,

treating one offender might
prevent 10 more victims

from being created.

The DOC thinks all they have
to do is sit on them

for five or ten years
of probation

and then that's all
that's necessary.

My take on it is

they have to really
be re-trained

and change the way
they live and think

about their own histories

and their own
dysfunctional families,

and their own addiction issues,

so they can go out and

make some real changes
in their own communities.

I see it a little more of
a sociological issue

than law enforcement,

which is more of
a containment issue.

All we wanna do is punish.

Castrate them.

And make their lives miserable.

And you know, a lot of people
would say

they deserve it,
and maybe they do.

But I'm a counselor.

I believe in doing
what is gonna help,

not hurt.

I drove down to Mexico
and raped a five year old girl.

I was having

relationship issues at the time.

And I...

went down there
looking for a prostitute.

And when I didn't find that,

my thinking led me

to just start looking for
any female I could find.

So, it's like an escape for you?

Sex is like a safety valve

when you're very frustrated,
ready to blow?

Yes. That's a good way of
putting it, yes.

You just have to somehow

discharge that energy and--

Or at the time, sex was
the way I wanted to discharge

that pent up frustration.

Was it kind of revenge
against your partner

who had broken your heart
and let you down?

It was probably revenge
against all women at that time.

All women? Okay.
So there is an anger component.

Oh, yes. There was.

Do you believe it was
something that was escalating?

Yes. Absolutely.
I do.

Did you ever try to,
like, tell your parents,

or talk to your best friend?

I was afraid.
Just scared shitless.

Afraid to even
talk about it with them,

because, like someone else
just mentioned,

I wasn't sure if I was just
voicing these thoughts and stuff.

It was gonna get me locked up.

It is an issue.

People that get in situations
just don't know where to turn.

- That is an issue.
- Right.

I agree with that.

Within nine months of
my previous release,

I also started to view
child pornography,

both rape porn... pornography

and child pornography.

So, this wasn't like exactly
a new theme for you.

No, it wasn't--

It was something that
was ongoing.

Yes, it has always been something
in pornography that I watch.

I know that some fantasies
that I've had...

Violence against women have
been a real big thing about it.

And one of the things...

One of the things for me

is sharing that.

I do that with a very
select group of people,

because some of it can be quite
disturbing to other people.

I have to feel comfortable
that they're not gonna...

That's not gonna change
their opinion of me.

People like me...

I mean,
the violent people like me...

There should be some
labeling on us.

There needs to be...

for my tier,

which I would say is
one of the higher tiers

of sex offenders,

There needs to be

some label on, so the police...

So some people maybe in
the community know.

Not to punish 'em,

not to bring 'em down,

but for a way to help 'em.

Make sure they don't re-offend.

I would like to be
a professor at a university,

teaching film studies

and publishing articles
and books,

I've got to get my PhD.

The professor thing's
still possible.

It's just gonna be harder now.

The school administrations
might not want me.

So, I've just got to
make my work that much better

and try to sell myself.

I like to think of myself
as this, like,

angry Leftist punk guy,
but like...

I try to be loving to
the people close to me.

I try to do right by them.

I guess I'm a brutal feminist.

It's a bizarre thing,

especially in America,
because it's...

still seen as negative,
or seen as this radical thing

where you think women
are better than men.

And all feminism means

is you believe
men and women are equal.

As a felon, I can't vote,
and I don't really care.

There's not gonna be
a politician that

is gonna agree with
my views anyway.

So, it's not a huge deal.

I'm always gonna be a loser.

Sometimes it still feels like,

I wake up and I'm like,
"Is this real?

Is this a dream?"

It sounds like a cliche,
but I've had days

where I'm like, "Oh, this can't
possibly be real."

And I have to deal with
all these restrictions.

But then I think of other people

who got off a lot worse
than I do,

and I can't help feel
a little fortunate.

Because no one got as light
a sentence on my charges.

Everyone's getting between
four and 12 years

and I got one.

But I have to register as a sex
offender for the rest of my life.

I was sentenced to
11 years in prison

for lewd, lascivious

sexual battery on
my eight year old son.

And, um...

a lot of circumstances
around it.

But, um...

I was talkin' to a gentleman
on the internet,

and he kept telling me that

if I asked Dustin
for permission,

that it would be okay.

And...

Somewhere in my twisted

way of thinking, and--

Did your dad ask you permission?

Or pretend to give you control?

I was daddy's little girl.

And that was his way of
showing me that he loved me.

And that's how he groomed you,

and he got you to,
you know, respond.

"Sure, daddy."

- So-- -So that's why
you would believe that.

- Yeah.
- You were groomed the same way.

Right.

But it created

my son to offend
when he was 13...

on a three year old little boy.

And he got sentenced
to a year in juvie.

And now he's in prison

for...

armed robbery.

All behind trickle effects.

He never got therapy.
I didn't get therapy.

My father never got therapy.

It's a cycle of dysfunctional,

almost addictive behavior

passed down.

It was a family trait,

and everybody in the family
is affected by it.

Do you feel that,

you know, the powers that be,

the gods of the universe
are trying to help you

sort all this out?

Or do you still feel yourself

as a victim being punished?

No, I don't see
myself as a victim.

It's like, the other day

a guy made a comment
in class about,

you know, sex offenders
being monsters.

And not everyone is.

And I don't...

I don't believe that
sex offenders are monsters.

Have you met any
monsters in the palace?

No, just me.

Anybody that can
take something...

In my mind, this is how I feel.

I took away the most
innocent thing out of my son,

and created

and taught him things that
he should've never known.

I think that if I would
have been able

to have had someone allow me to

speak what I really wanted to,

or you know,

help me learn that that's not
the way it's supposed to be.

You know what, I can't...

Just to be able to get
help with it,

to where it doesn't
wind up being

everything that you see and then you
don't know the difference anymore,

and that's your life.

And that's the only
avenue that you know.

So, that's what you do.

Not everybody goes that route.

But that's the part that
I held on to,

because that was my dad
and my dad loved me.

So, since my dad loved me,

then it was okay.

But my son wrote
my probation officer

and asked to have
contact with me,

that he had forgiven me,

and that he would
like to rebuild

his relationship with me.

So, I'm working on that now.

On a motion for that.

I'm in college.

Just got my first 4.0 ever.

Ever.

And, um...

It's not as bad as it looks.

I made some changes in my life.

I made some changes
in my thinking.

You know, how I respond to the
world, how I react to the world.

I had one counselor.
They took me in her office for six months.

And we would sit down
for an hour and a half

so she could teach me
how to cry.

'Cause I couldn't cry.

My parents beat all of that
out of me.

There was no crying.
That made it worse.

I didn't even cry when
my son was killed.

But I've learned how to do that.

I've learned how to
interact with people.

You know, I appreciate
being able to socialize.

I believe this is it.

Right out here is Hanes Road.

And I sit on my porch
in the morning,

and I have my cup of coffee.
It's nice and quiet.

And one day,

I guess it was about
six months ago,

a gentleman came flying
up in his truck,

pointing a gun at me.

Telling me that

if I stalked his daughters
he was going to kill me.

I don't know who this man is,

I don't know who
his daughters are,

I don't know what he's talking about.
So, I asked him.

Probably with
a very shaky voice,

'cause there was a gun
pointed at my face.

He thought I was
stalking his daughters,

'cause they walked down
this road to go to school.

And honestly, I never even
noticed them.

There's a lot of people that
walk up and down the street.

I don't pay attention to them,
especially in the morning.

In the morning I'm thinking
about what my day's gonna be.

And you know...

And when I talked to him,
we actually sat down,

we had a cup of coffee together.

He turned out to be a nice guy.

And once he saw that I wasn't this
monster that he thought I was...

He's actually been to back
the house a couple of times.

Have a beer.

And we had dinner one night.

No street light
and no city lights.

We always bitch
about the system.

Probation this, this, this...

We get mad at society.

Society doesn't...
They don't know any better.

They don't get any other story,
because most of us

we don't wanna go
and talk about this.

You know, we did this bad thing.

And we still have this
bad self image.

Most of us got
a low self esteem issue

that pretty much led to
what we were doing

in the first place.

They're not gonna hear
anything unless we tell 'em.

We have to humanize ourselves.

'Cause we're not
human beings to them.

We're a title, we're a monster,

we're a bogeyman,
whatever it is.

There's 120 people living
in this park.

That's 120 ambassadors

that every day
have an opportunity

to open somebody's eyes.

Every day.

The only way that's gonna happen

is you've got to go out
and let people see

that you're a human being.

There's only two things
that we can do in life

when things go wrong.

We're either a part
of the problem,

or a part of the solution.

Hello. You got a minute?

You got a minute
for an old friend?

Sure. Come on in.

My own son was arrested.

You don't believe it's gonna
ever happen in your family.

And I took, I guess, my anxiety,

and tried to replace it
with another energy.

And thus was born
Florida Justice.

This was 20 years ago.

So much time has passed.

And everything's kind of
moved on,

except for one thing,
that stigma.

I can only ask you,

do you have a child?

We have a son.

You think he's perfect?

- Mmm-hmm.
- Sure?

There's not a mother
in the world

who doesn't hold that
little child

and think, "Thank God.

It's the most wonderful
present in the whole world."

But that child grows up

and that child does
something bad.

He makes a mistake.

Just one.

Never to be forgiven.

These are mine. Everybody
can have everything else.

You're starving
everybody to death.

Good for you, girl.

...figure out that they
could shelter in the toilets

overnight...

So, they put a timer on 'em.

So you put your little money...