Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[tires screeching]

[commercial narrator] You sometimes wonder who you related to?

-Are you my dad? -Uh, no.

[commercial narrator] Where you from?

Are you my dad?

[commercial narrator] Who you is?

Are you my dad?

Well, here at DNA A-Ok, we tell you those thingies with science.

Maybe you cow.

Maybe this dude you cousin.

Maybe me son not mine.

Who knows?

Me. Me know.

With just single drop of saliva...

[dinosaur roars]

...we take sample of you DNA,

tell you all you wanna know.

Wow!

So come on down to DNA A-Ok!

Learn you heritage, today!

[voice over] Results take six to seven weeks.

[gasps]

Are you sure about this, Yogi?

It looks kinda sketchy.

Are you kidding?

We're gonna learn all about our roots!

You know I bet I'm related to some of the great bears of history.

Maybe I'm an incredible scientist like Albear Einstein.

Or a natural leader like Bearbraham Lincoln

You see, Boo Boo, we stand on the shoulders of the great bears of history

I wonder who I'm related to.

[gasps] Yogi, what if it turns out that you're secretly my father

and I'm secretly your son?

Or I'm your father?

Boo Boo, with genetics, anything is possible!

Wow!

And this DNA information, it stays private, yes?

It doesn't get shared with the police?

-[thuds] -My turn!

No worry, this no hurt.

Why would it hurt...

You'll get your test results soon.

Hurray!

I know bounce houses are supposed to be just for kids, but I just couldn't help it!

The good news is that we have the magic of modern surgical technology.

-Doctor Yogi, I need three CC's of... -[banging on wall]

Here you test results and good day.

Oh, great, two giant holes in my sterile operating room. Cool, cool.

At last! The results of my DNA test!

What? 98% cat?

Everything I ever knew about myself was wrong!

Well, I guess I can't have these anymore.

What are you doing? You could be a cat and still be a doctor, Yogi.

You're so sweet to say so. But everything I've ever known is a lie.

But you're the world's greatest doctor.

It says so right here on your mug.

That mug is a liar!

Again, you could be a cat and still be a doctor.

And you can't just leave! The three of us are a team.

It's out of my hands. If I can't be a doctor...

And you definitely can.

...then I'm going to be the best cat there ever was. [sobs]

Yogi, wait! Where are you even going?

And how? We're on the fourth floor.

Meow! Hmm.

I just don't get how to be a cat.

[Top Cat] Oh, Mr. J. Wimple Dimple, I really cannot thank you enough.

Now we can afford to pay for surgery for all the orphans.

Every time I use my new brain, I'll think of you.

Ugh, don't touch me.

Just take this money so I don't have to keep looking at you.

[all] Ha!

Cats! Just like me!

[all chuckling]

Meow, feline compatriots!

-Intruder! -Cats! Fighting stance!

Hiya!

Oh, no, no, no, I'm not an intruder! I'm a cat too!

Huh? What do you mean?

Here, I just found out.

Ninety-eight percent cat? Hmm.

There's no way this guy's a cat, TC. Look at him, he's hideous.

Yeah, and these DNA tests aren't always accurate.

My sister Chugga Chugga took one and it said she was part helicopter.

How is your sister anyway?

She's still in hiding after stealing that cruise ship.

Please! Being a cat is all I have left! You have to teach me your ways!

Hmm... Well I've never been one to leave a fellow feline hanging.

We'll teach you how to be a cat.

But you gotta pay your dues to the cat guild.

One hundred bucks. It's standard.

I only have $500.

Okay, deal.

Hurray!

[coins clinking]

Meow.

So what do we do now? Eat lasagna?

Talk about how we hate Mondays?

Do the thing where we put a whole fish in our mouth

and pull out just the skeleton?

Oh, Heaven forbid, no.

Those things are just stereotypes.

The ABCs of being a cat are as follows:

Always Be Coming up with a scam.

Ah, yes. Hmm... Mmm-hmm.

The first thing you do is identify a mark.

A mark has something you want.

Your job is to get that something

with a little creative thinking.

Now use your cat instincts to find a mark.

Hmm. Instincts.

[Yogi] Where are you, Marcus?

Ah, what about him?

Oh, I like! Now go do your cat thing. Scam him.

Are you sure about this, TC?

Well, the paper says he's a cat.

So I'm sure with a little practice he'll be pulling scams in no time...

Oh, no, he's just giving the guy money.

Yogi, you were supposed to scam him.

What you did was just regular commerce.

But at this price, they are a scam!

-[gulps] -Look, no worries, catman.

Just pay me more dues and we can try again.

Okay!

Uh oh! I hope I don't slip and fall

and get a bunch of insurance money!

Oops! Argh! Oh, no, bees!

[screaming]

[comical instrumental music playing]

Excuse me, waitress. There is a man in my food.

I believe I'm entitled to a free meal.

[grunts]

Bonjour! I am a prince from a faraway land!

Give me your bank information!

Sheesh. This kitty cat stuff is harder than I thought.

Yogi! There you are!

We need you back at the hospital ASAP!

I've got my hands full and heaven knows

Boo-Boo is no surgeon!

I'm being sued for malpractice!

No can do. I told you guys, I'm a cat.

I gotta focus on cat things.

Please come back, Yogi. We need you.

Look! I made you this nice picnic basket.

[sniffing]

Oh, that's good... No!

I'm a cat now! You can't take me away from my new family!

What's my name?

Uh... I wanna say purple shirt?

[groans]

Hey, I still believe you're just a big glandular cat!

Just pay me some more dues and we can keep on trying.

My wallet's empty.

Ah, well, cat life isn't for everyone.

No, no, no! I'm gonna show you guys that I'm a cat.

I refuse to let you down.

I've got an idea.

[mellow music playing]

Bounce house? Kids don't have any money.

That's why this is a bounce house for adults.

See, we send out flyers advertising a fancy,

black-tie, bounce house soiree.

Then once they're bouncing, their cash and valuables will be

flying out of their pockets, and we'll be there

to collect it!

Excellent plan. Glad I thought of it.

[cheerful music playing]

Finally, a bounce house just for me.

Welcome to the VIP Bounce House Experience, monsieur.

Oh!

Well, Yogi, I had my doubts about you being a cat,

but it takes a true feline brain to pull off a heist like this.

Nobody thought I was a cat. Look at me now!

Meow Meow! Meow!

Uh...

[all screaming]

Uh-oh.

[screaming continues]

Wow! I'm riding a bike! I don't know what I was so scared of.

[screaming continues]

Oh, no! If I don't mash all these potatoes

by the end of the day, I'm gonna lose my job!

[screaming continues]

And with the recent demolishing of that dangerous skate park,

I can now declare Jellystone is the 13th safest city in the county.

[all cheering]

[boos]

[screaming continues]

Wee-ooo-wee-ooo-wee-ooo.

[tires screeching]

Oh, uh... Oop. Yep... And... parked.

Oh, no! These people are suffering

from a critical case of bounce-a-tosis!

This is too big a job for just two responders!

Oh, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, meow?

[Cindy] We need another doctor!

Someone with a green hat and tie, perhaps?

What do I do, picnic basket?

Come on, buddy. We need you!

Yeah, Yogi! It doesn't matter what animal you are. We're a team!

Also, you should think of refrigerating these picnic basket.

There's like mayo and stuff in here.

Just focus on triage, Boo Boo.

We're gonna have to pick winners and losers.

Am I gonna be alright, Doc?

Of course you are.

[whispering] Notify his next of kin.

[Yogi] Not quite yet.

[triumphant music playing]

[Boo Boo] Yogi!

Ah, this kitty-cat's here to doctor!

Hu-wah!

[triumphant music playing]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Thank you Yogi. You know,

I want you to know that I don't care

if you can't pull off any scams.

You're a good man and I'm proud to call you a fellow cat.

Aw, that really means a lot.

Well, off you go.

[stretcher crashes]

Thanks for all your help, Yogi.

Even though everything that went wrong today was your fault in the first place.

I think you'll be needing this, Doctor.

Ah, thanks guys.

You know, shockingly, turns out

I can be a cat and a doctor.

Who could've possibly guessed?

[Cindy scoffs]

[tires screeching]

Me make mistake.

Had you wrong test results.

So you mean I'm a bear after all?

No. You an alligator.

Wow!

Father?

[gushing] Son!

[both giggling]

This best part of job.

Uh... Eh, whatever.

[both laughing]

[both] Yeah!