All language subtitles for Inglourious.Basterds.2009.1080p.BluRay.6CH.x265.HEVC-[My-Film]

Chapter One

Chapter One
Once upon a time...

Chapter One
Once upon a time... in Nazi-occupied France

(DISTANT RUMBLING)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Go back inside and shut the door.

Julie, get me some water
for my wash up...

...then get inside with your sisters.

Ready, Papa.

Thank you, my darling...

...now you go inside with your sisters.

Don't run.

Is this the property of Perrier LaPadite?

I am Perrier LaPadite.

It is a pleasure to meet you,
Monsieur LaPadite...

...I am Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

What can I do for you?

I was hoping you could invite me
inside your home...

...and we may have a discussion.

Certainly. After you.

Colonel Landa, this is my family.

Colonel Hans Landa of the SS...

...Mademoiselle...

...at your service.

The rumors I have heard in the
village about your family are all true.

Each one of your daughters
is more lovely than the last.

Merci.

Please...

...have a seat.

Suzanne, would you be so good as to
get the Colonel some wine?

But no.

Merci beaucoup, Monsieur LaPadite,
but no wine.

This being a dairy farm, one would be
safe in assuming you have milk?

Yes.

Then milk is what I prefer.

Very well.

Julie, would you mind closing the window?

Merci.

Monsieur, to both your family
and your cows...

...I say, "Bravo."

Thank you.

Please join me at your table.

Very well.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...what we have to discuss
would be better discussed in private.

You'll notice I left my men outdoors.

If it wouldn't offend them, could you
ask your lovely ladies to step outside?

You are right.

Charlotte, would you take the girls
outside?

The Colonel and I need to have
a few words.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I regret to inform you
I've exhausted the extent of my French.

To continue to speak it so inadequately
would only serve to embarrass me.

However, I've been led to believe
you speak English quite well.

Yes.

Well, it just so happens, I do as well.
This being your house...

...I ask your permission to switch
to English...

...for the remainder of the conversation.

By all means.

While I'm very familiar
with you and your family,

I have no way of knowing if
you are familiar with who I am.

Are you aware
of my existence?

Yes.

This is good.

Now, are you aware of the job I've
been ordered to carry out in France?

Yes.

Please tell me
what you've heard.

I've heard

that the F�hrer has put you in charge
of rounding up the Jews left in France

who are either hiding
or passing for Gentile.

The F�hrer couldn't have
said it better himself.

But the meaning
of your visit,

pleasant though it is,
is mysterious to me.

The Germans looked through my house
nine months ago for hiding Jews

and found nothing.

I'm aware of that.

I've read the reports
of this area.

But like any enterprise,
when under new management,

there is always a slight
duplication of efforts,

most of it being a complete waste of
time, but needs to be done nevertheless.

I just have a few questions,
monsieur LaPadite.

If you can assist me
with answers,

my department can close
the file on your family.

Now,

before the occupation, there were
four Jewish families in this area,

all dairy farmers
like yourself.

Doleracs, Rollins,
the Loveitts

and the Dreyfuses.

Is that correct?

To my knowledge,

those were the Jewish families
among the dairy farmers.

Herr Colonel, would it disturb
you if I smoked my pipe?

(CHUCKLES) Please,
monsieur LaPadite,

this is your house,
make yourself comfortable.

Now, according
to these papers,

all the Jewish families in this
area have been accounted for

except the Dreyfuses.

Somewhere in the last year it
would appear they've vanished.

Which leads me to the conclusion that
they've either made good their escape

or someone is very
successfully hiding them.

What have you heard about the
Dreyfuses, monsieur LaPadite?

Only rumors.

I love rumors!

Facts could be
so misleading,

where rumors, true or
false, are often revealing.

So, monsieur LaPadite,

what rumors have you heard
regarding the Dreyfuses?

(CLEARS TH ROAT)

Again,
this is just a rumor,

but we heard the Dreyfuses had
made their way into Spain.

(MATCHSTlCKS SCRAPING)

So, the rumors you've heard
have been of escape?

(AGREES IN FRENCH)

Yes.

Having never met the Dreyfuses,
would you confirm for me

the exact members of the
household and their names?

(CLEARS TH ROAT)

There were
five of them.

The father, Jacob.

Wife, Miram.

And her brother, Bob.

How old is Bob?

Thirty, 31.

Continue.

And the children,

Amos

and Shosanna.

Ages of the children?

(SIGHS)

Amos was nine or 10.

And Shosanna?

And Shosanna was

18 or 19.
I'm not really sure.

Well, I guess
that should do it.

(ZIPPER CLOSING)

However, before I go, could I have
another glass of your delicious milk?

But of course.

Monsieur LaPadite,

are you aware of the nickname the
people of France have given me?

(SIGHS)

I have no interest
in such things.

But you are aware
of what they call me.

I'm aware.

What are you aware of?

That they call you
"The Jew Hunter. "

Precisely.

I understand your
trepidation in repeating it.

Heydrich apparently
hates the moniker

the good people of Prague
have bestowed on him.

Actually, why he would hate the
name "the Hangman" is baffling to me.

It would appear he has done
everything in his power to earn it.

Now I, on the other hand,
love my unofficial title

precisely because
I've earned it.

The feature that makes me such an
effective hunter of the Jews is,

as opposed to most
German soldiers,

I can think like a Jew

where they can only
think like a German.

(CHUCKLING) More precisely,
a German soldier.

Now, if one were to determine what attribute
the German people share with a beast,

it would be the cunning and the
predatory instinct of a hawk.

But if one were to determine what
attributes the Jews share with a beast,

it would be
that of the rat.

The F�hrer and Goebbels' propaganda
have said pretty much the same thing.

But where our conclusions
differ,

is I don't consider
the comparison an insult.

Consider for a moment
the world a rat lives in.

It's a hostile world,
indeed.

If a rat were to scamper through
your front door, right now,

would you greet it
with hostility?

I suppose I would.

Has a rat ever done
anything to you

to create this animosity
you feel toward them?

Rats spread disease.
They bite people.

Rats were the cause of the bubonic
plague, but that's some time ago.

I propose to you any disease
a rat could spread,

a squirrel could
equally carry.

Would you agree?

Yet, I assume you don't share
the same animosity with squirrels

that you do with rats,
do you?

No.

Yet, they're both rodents,
are they not?

And except for the tail, they
even rather look alike, don't they?

It's an interesting thought,
Herr Colonel.

However interesting
as the thought may be,

it makes not one bit of
difference to how you feel.

If a rat were to walk in
here, right now, as I'm talking

would you greet it with a
saucer of your delicious milk?

Probably not.

I didn't think so.

You don't like them.

You don't really know
why you don't like them.

All you know is
you find them repulsive.

Consequently, a German
soldier conducts a search

of a house suspected
of hiding Jews.

Where does the hawk look?

He looks in the barn, he looks in
the attic, he looks in the cellar,

he looks everywhere
he would hide.

But there are so many places it
would never occur to a hawk to hide.

However, the reason the F�hrer has
brought me off my Alps in Austria

and placed me in French cow country
today is because it does occur to me.

Because I'm aware what tremendous
feats human beings are capable of

once they abandon dignity.

May I smoke my pipe
as well?

Please, Herr Colonel,
make yourself at home.

Now, my job dictates

that I must have my men
enter your home

and conduct
a thorough search

before I can officially cross
your family's name off my list.

And if there are any irregularities
to be found, rest assured they will be.

That is unless you have
something to tell me

that makes the conducting
of a search unnecessary.

I might add, also,
that any information

that makes the performance of my duty
easier will not be met with punishment.

Actually, quite the contrary.
It will be met with reward.

And that reward will be,

your family will cease
to be harassed in any way

by the German military during the
rest of our occupation of your country.

You're sheltering enemies
of the state, are you not?

Yes.

You're sheltering them underneath
your floorboards, aren't you?

Yes.

Point out to me the areas
where they're hiding.

Since I haven't heard
any disturbance,

I assume, while they're listening,
they don't speak English.

Yes.

I'm going to switch back to French now,
and I want you to follow my masquerade.

Is that clear?

(SNIFFLES)

Yes.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I thank you for the milk...

...and your hospitality.

I do believe our business here is done.

Ah, ladies.

I thank you for your time.

We shan't be bothering your family
any longer.

So, Monsieur...

...Mademoiselle.

I bid farewell to you and say...

...adieu.

(SHUSHING)

It's the girl.

(SOBBING)

(EXCLAlMS)

(PANTING)

Au revoir, Shosanna!

Chapter Two

Chapter Two
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Ten-hut!

My name is
Lieutenant Aldo Raine.

And I'm putting together a special
team, and I need me eight soldiers.

Eight Jewish
American soldiers.

Now, you all might've heard rumors
about the armada happening soon.

Well, we'll be leaving
a little earlier.

We're going to be dropped into
France dressed as civilians.

Once we're
in enemy territory,

as a bushwhacking
guerrilla army,

we're going to be doing one
thing and one thing only.

Killing Nazis.

I don't know
about you all,

but I sure as hell didn't come down
from the goddamn Smoky Mountains,

cross 5, 000 miles of water,
fight my way through half of Sicily

and jump out of a fucking airplane to
teach the Nazis lessons in humanity.

Nazi ain't got no humanity.

They're the foot soldiers of a
Jew-hating, mass-murdering maniac

and they need
to be destroyed.

That's why any and every son of a
bitch we find wearing a Nazi uniform,

they're going to die.

Now, I'm the direct descendent
of the mountain man J im Bridger.

That means I got
a little Indian in me.

And our battle plan will be
that of an Apache resistance.

We will be cruel
to the Germans.

And through our cruelty,
they will know who we are.

And they will find
the evidence of our cruelty

in the disemboweled,
dismembered

and disfigured bodies of their
brothers we leave behind us.

And the German won't be able
to help themselves

but imagine the cruelty their
brothers endured at our hands,

and our boot heels
and the edge of our knives.

And the German
will be sickened by us.

And the German
will talk about us.

And the German
will fear us.

And when the German
closes their eyes at night

and they're tortured by their
subconscious for the evil they have done,

it will be with thoughts of us
that they are tortured with.

Sound good?

Yes, sir!

That's what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning
for all you would-be warriors.

When you join my command,
you take on debit.

A debit you owe me,
personally.

Each and every man under my
command owes me 100 Nazi scalps.

And I want my scalps.

And all y'all will get me 100 Nazi scalps
taken from the heads of 100 dead Nazis.

Or you will die trying!

(SHOUTING IN GERMAN)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

How much more of these Jew swine
must I endure?

They butcher my men like they were flies!

Do you know the latest rumor they've conjured
up in their fear-induced delirium?

The one...

...that beats my boys with a bat!

The one they call "The Bear Jew"...

...is a Golem!

My F�hrer, this is just soldiers' gossip.

No one really believes "The Bear Jew"
is a Golem.

Why not?

They seem to be able to elude capture
like an apparition.

They seem to be able to appear and
disappear at will.

You want to prove they're flesh and blood?

Then bring them to me!

I will hang them naked, by their heels,
from the Eiffel Tower!

And then throw their bodies in the sewers...

...for the rats of Paris to feast!

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

Kliest!

(KLIEST SPEAKING GERMAN
ON INTERCOM)

Yes, my F�hrer!

I have an order I want relayed to all
German soldiers stationed in France.

(BASTERDS LAUGHING)

The Jew degenerate known as "The Bear Jew," henceforth,
is never to be referred to as The Bear Jew again.

Yes, my F�hrer!

Do you still wish to see Private Butz?

Who and what is a Private Butz?

He's the soldier you wanted to see personally.

His squad was ambushed by Lt. Raine's Jews.

He was its only survivor.

Indeed, I do want to see him.
Thank you for reminding me.

Send him in.

Sergeant Rachtmann, Ludwig and I
were the only ones left alive after the ambush.

While one man guarded us,
the rest removed the hair.

Hey, Hirschberg.

Send that Kraut
sarge over.

You. Go.

Sergeant
Werner Rachtman.

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.
Pleased to meet you.

You know what
"sit down" means, Werner?

Yes.
Then sit down.

How is your English,
Werner?

Because if need be, we got a
couple of fellows who can translate.

Wicki here,

an Austrian-Jew, got the fuck out
of Munich while the getting was good.

Became American, got drafted,
come back to give y'all what for.

Another one up there
you might be familiar with.

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz.

Heard of him?

Everybody in the German Army
has heard of H ugo Stiglitz.

(BASTERDS LAUGHING)

The reason
for Hugo Stiglitz's celebrity

among German soldiers
is simple.

As a German-enlisted man,
he killed 13 Gestapo officers.

Instead of putting him up
against a wall,

the High Command decided
to send him back to Berlin

to be made an example of.

Needless to say, once the
Basterds heard about him,

he never got there.

(GASPING)

Sergeant Hugo Stiglitz?

Lieutenant Aldo Raine.
These are the Basterds.

Ever heard of us?

We just want to say we're
a big fan of your work.

When it comes
to killing Nazis...

(MAN GROANING)

...I think you show
great talent.

And I pride myself for having
an eye for that kind of talent.

But your status as a Nazi
killer is stilI amateur.

We all come here to see
if you want to go pro.

(BASTERDS LAUGHING)

Can I assume
you know who we are?

You're Aldo the Apache.

(BASTERDS WHOOPING)

Werner,
if you heard of us,

you probably heard we ain't in
the prisoner-taking business.

We in the killing Nazi business,
and, cousin, business is a-booming.

HIRSCHBERG :
(LAUGHING) Oh , yeah .

Now, that leaves two ways
we can play this out.

Either kill you
or let you go.

Whether or not you're going
to leave this ditch alive

depends entirely on you.

Up the road a piece,
there's an orchard.

Besides you, we know there's another
Kraut patrol fucking around here somewhere.

If that patrol were
to have any crack shots,

that orchard would be
a goddamn sniper's delight.

So if you ever want to eat
a sauerkraut sandwich again,

you got to show me on
this here map where they are.

You got to tell me how many
they are, and you got to tell me

what kind of artillery
they're carrying with them.

(SCOFFING)

You can't expect me to divulge information
that would put German lives in danger.

Well, now, Werner, that's where you're
wrong, because that's exactly what I expect.

I need to know about
Germans hiding in trees.

And you need to tell me. And
you need to tell me right now.

Now, just take that
finger of yours

and point out on this here map
where this party is being held,

how many is coming and what
they brought to play with.

I respectfully refuse,
sir.

(BATTAPPING)

Hear that?

Yes.

That's Sergeant
Donny Donowitz.

You might know him better
by his nickname.

The Bear Jew.

Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache,
you got to have heard about The Bear Jew.

I heard of The Bear Jew.

What did you hear?

Beats German soldiers
with a club.

He bashes their brains in with
a baseball bat, what he does.

And, Werner, I'm going to
ask you one last goddamn time,

and if you still
respectfully refuse,

I'm calling
The Bear Jew over.

He's going to take
that big bat of his,

and he's going to beat
your ass to death with it.

Now, take your
Wiener-schnitzel-licking finger,

and point out on this map
what I want to know.

Fuck you.

And your Jew dogs.

(BASTERDS LAUGHING)

(BASTERDS APPLAUDING)

Actually, Werner, we're all
tickled to hear you say that.

Quite frankly, watching
Donny beat Nazis to death

is the closest we ever get
to going to the movies. Donny!

Yeah?

Got us a German here who
wants to die for country.

Oblige him.

(BAT TAPPING)

Did you get that
for killing Jews?

Bravery.

(CONTL NUE STAPPING)

(BASTERDS CHEERING)

(BASTERDS EXCLAIMING)

Yeah!

Oh, no!
Oh, no!

Donny!

Yeah, Donny!

About now I'd be shitting
my pants if I was you.

(LAUGHING)

Teddy Fucking Williams
knocks it out of the park!

Fenway Park is on its feet
for Teddy Fucking Ballgame!

He went yard on that one,
on to fucking Lansdowne Street!

You!

Damn it,
Hirschberg!

Donny, bring that other one
over here. Alive!

Get the fuck up! Batter
up. You're on deck!

Two hits. I hit you,
you hit the ground.

English?

Wicki.

Ask him
if he wants to live.

Tell him to point out on
this map the German position.

(BASTERDS LAUGHING)

Ask him how many Germans.

Around about 12.

What kind of artillery?

How did you survive this ordeal?

They let me go.

Now, when you report
what happened here,

you can't tell them you told us
what you told us. They'll shoot you.

They're going to want to know why
you so special, we let you live.

So tell them, we let you live so you
could spread the word through the ranks

what's going to happen
to every Nazi we find.

You are not to tell anybody anything.
Not one word of detail!

Your outfit was ambushed, and you got away!

Not one word more!

Yes, my F�hrer.

Did they mark you like they did
the other survivors?

Yes, my F�hrer.

Now that you've survived the war, when
you get home, what you going to do?

I will hug my mother like
I've never hugged her before.

He's going
to hug his mother.

(SNIFFS)

Well, ain't that nice?

Ask if he's going
to take off his uniform.

Not only shall I remove it,
but I intend to burn it.

He's going
to burn it.

Yeah, that's what we
thought. We don't like that.

See, we like our Nazis in uniforms.
That way you can spot them.

Just like that.

But you take off that uniform, ain't
nobody going to know you's a Nazi.

And that don't sit
well with us.

So I'm going to give you a little
something you can't take off.

You know, Lieutenant, you're
getting pretty good at that.

You know how you get to
Carnegie Hall, don't you?

Practice.

Chapter Three

Chapter Three
GERMAN NIGHT IN PARIS

JUNE

What starts tomorrow?

A Max Linder festival.

(EXCLAIMS)

I always preferred Linder to Chaplin.

Except Linder never made a film
as good as "The Kid."

The chase climax of "The Kid," superb.

I adore your cinema very much.

Merci.

Is it yours?

Do I own it?

Yes.

Yes.

How is it a girl as young as you
owns a cinema?

My aunt left it to me.

Merci for hosting a German night.

I don't have a choice...

...but you're welcome.

I love the Riefenstahl mountain films...

...especially Piz Pal�.

It's nice to see a French girl
who's an admirer of Riefenstahl.

"Admire" would not really be
the word I would use...

...to describe my feelings towards
Fr�ulein Riefenstahl.

But you do admire the director Pabst,
don't you?

That's why you include his name
on the marquee...

...when you didn't have to.

I'm French. We respect directors in our country.

Even Germans.

Even Germans, yes.

Merci for your assistance, soldier.
Adieu.

You're not finished.

I'll finish in the morning.

May I ask your name?

You wish to see my papers?

(LAUGHS)

Emmanuelle Mimieux.

That's a very pretty name.

Merci.

Are you finished with my papers?

Mademoiselle, may I introduce myself...

...Fredrick Zoller.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well...

...it's been a pleasure chatting
with a fellow cinema lover.

Sweet dreams, mademoiselle.

Adieu.

(SIGHS)

Hello, mademoiselle.

May I join you?

Look, Fredrick...

(CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY)

You remember my name?

Yes.

Look, you seem a
pleasant enough fellow...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Regardless, I want you to stop pestering me.

I apologize, mademoiselle...

...I wasn't trying to be a pest.

I was simply trying to be friendly.

I don't wish to be your friend.

Why not?

Don't act like an infant. You know why.

I'm more than just a uniform.

Not to me.

If you are so desperate for a French girlfriend...

...I suggest you try Vichy.

(EXHALES)

(LAUGHING)

Who are you?

I thought I was just a uniform.

You're not just a German soldier.

Are you somebody's son?

Most German soldiers are somebody's son.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(LAUGHS EXClTEDLY)

You're a very lucky girl,
catching a brave war hero.

No, no, no, no, the mademoiselle
is not my girlfriend.

Can you write "Amour Babette"?

(OFFLCER EXCLALMS)

(OFFlCERS CHATTERING)

So you're a war hero.

What did you do?

(CLEARS THROAT)

I was alone in a bell tower
in a walled off city.

It was myself and a thousand
rounds of ammo, in a bird's nest...

...against three hundred enemy soldiers.

What's a bird's nest?

A bird's nest is what a sniper
would call a bell tower.

It's a high structure,
offering a three hundred and sixty degree view.

Very advantageous for marksmen.

How many did you kill?

Sixty-eight.

The first day.

A hundred and fifty...

...the second day.

(EXHALES)

Thirty-two the third day.

On the fourth day they exited the city.

(CHUCKLES)

Naturally, my war story received a
lot of attention in Germany...

...that's why they all recognize me.

They call me the German Sergeant York.

Maybe they'll make a film about your exploits.

(LAUGHS)

Well, that's just what Joseph Goebbels thought.

So he did and called it "Nation's Pride."

And they wanted me to play myself...

...so I did.

Joseph thinks this movie will
be proven to be his masterpiece.

And I will be the German Van Johnson.

"Nation's Pride" is about you?

"Nation's Pride" is starring you?

I know.

Comical?

Well, good luck with your movie, Private.
I hope all goes well for Joseph and yourself.

Goodbye!

Do you need help?

No, it's okay.

If you need me, I'll be in the
storage room.

Okay, my love.

(CAR APPROACHING)

(BRAKES SCREECH)

Mademoiselle Mimieux?

Yes?

Is this your cinema?

Yes.

Come down!

Please.

I don't understand. What have I done?

She wants to know what she's done.

Get your ass in that car.

It's only the offspring of slaves that allows
America to be competitive athletically.

American Olympic gold can be
measured in Negro sweat.

(LAUGHING)

(GOEBBELS LAUGHING)

Good, you came.

I wasn't sure whether or not
you'd accept my invitation.

Invitation?

Is that the young lady in question, Fredrick?

Yes, it is, Dr. Goebbels.

Emmanuelle, there is somebody I want you to meet.

Emmanuelle Mimieux, I'd like to introduce
you to the minister of propaganda...

...the leader of the entire German film industry...

...and now that I'm an actor, my boss,
Dr. Joseph Goebbels.

Your reputation precedes you, Fr�ulein Mimieux.

(FREDRICK LAUGHS)

And normally, this is Herr Goebbels'
French interpreter...

...Mademoiselle Francesca Mondino.

Hello.

(PANTING)

(BRAYING)

And you've met the Major.

Actually, I didn't introduce myself.
Major Dieter Hellstrom of the Gestapo.

At your service, mademoiselle.

Please allow me...

...have a seat please.

Try the champagne, mademoiselle,
it's quite good.

I must say, Fr�ulein,
I should be rather annoyed with you.

I arrive in France...

...and I wish to have lunch with my star.

Little do I know...

...he's become the toast of Paris.

And now he must find time for me.

People wait in line hours, days to see me.

For the F�hrer...

...and Private Zoller, I wait.

So finally, I'm granted an audience
with the young Private.

And he spends the entire lunch speaking
of you and your cinema.

So Fr�ulein Mimieux, let's get down to business.

Herr Minister Doctor Goebbels...

I haven't informed her yet.

Unless the girl's a simpleton,
I'm sure she's figured it out by now.

After all, she does operate a cinema.

Francesca, tell her.

What they are trying to tell you,
Emmanuelle, is Private Zoller...

...has spent the last hour at lunch trying
to convince Monsieur Goebbels...

...to abandon previous plans for
Private Zoller's film premiere...

...and change the venue to your cinema.

(COUGHS)

What?

I wanted to inform her.

Shit! I apologize, Private, of course you did.

What's the issue?

The Private wanted to inform
the mademoiselle himself.

Nonsense!

Until I ask my questions, he has nothing to inform.

Let the record state, I have not agreed
to switch cinemas for my premiere.

Duly noted.

You have opera boxes?

Yes.

How many?

Two.

More would be better.

How many seats in your auditorium?

Three hundred and fifty.

(SCOFFS)

That's almost four hundred less than The Ritz.

But Dr. Goebbels...

...that's not such a terrible thing.

You said yourself you didn't want to indulge
every two-faced French bourgeois...

...taking up space, currying favor.

With less seats, it makes the
event more exclusive.

You're not trying to fill the house,
they're fighting for seats.

Besides, to hell with the French.

This is a German night, a German event,
a German celebration.

This night is for you, me...

...for the German military, the high command...

...their family and friends.

The only people who should
be allowed in the room...

...are people who will be moved by
the exploits on the screen.

I see your public speaking has improved.

It appears I've created a monster.

(CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHING)

A strangely persuasive monster.

When the war is over, politics await.

Well, Private...

though it is true,
I'm inclined to indulge you anything...

I must watch a film in this young lady's
cinema before I can say, yes or no.

So young lady, you are to close your cinema
for a private screening tonight.

What German films do you have?

Ah, Landa, you are here.

Emmanuelle, this is Colonel Hans Landa
of the SS.

He'll be running the security for the premiere.

Charmed, mademoiselle.

Au revoir, Shosanna!

And now I must get the Reich Minister
to his next appointment.

Slave driver.

French slave driver.

(LAUGHING)

Actually, in my role as security chief of this
joyous German occasion, I'm afraid I must...

...have a word with Mademoiselle Mimieux.

What sort of discussion?

That sounded suspiciously like a Private
questioning the order of a Colonel.

Or am I just being sensitive?

Nothing could be further from the truth, Colonel.

Your authority is beyond question.

But your reputation does precede you.

Should Mademoiselle Mimieux
or myself be concerned?

Hans, the boy means no harm...

...he's simply smitten.

And he's correct. Your reputation
does precede you.

No need for concern, you two. As
security chief, I simply need to have a chat...

...with the possible new venue's property owner.

Have you tried the strudel here?

No, no.

It's not so terrible.

(CHUCKLES)

So how is it the young Private and
yourself came to be acquainted?

Yes, two strudels. One for myself and
one for the mademoiselle.

For me a cup of espresso
and for the mademoiselle...

...a glass of milk.

So, mademoiselle, you were
beginning to explain...?

Up until a couple of days ago, I had no
knowledge of Private Zoller...

...or his exploits.

To me...

the Private was simply just a patron of my cinema.
We spoke a few times but...

Mademoiselle, let me interrupt you.

This is a simple formality.

No reason for you to feel anxious.

I apologize, I forgot to order the cream.

One moment.

Wait for the cream.

So, Emmanuelle.
May I call you Emmanuelle?

Yes.

So, Emmanuelle...

...explain to me...

...how does it happen, that a young lady such
as yourself, comes to own a cinema?

After you.

Verdict?

Like I said, not so terrible.

You were explaining the origin
of your cinema ownership.

The cinema originally belonged
to my aunt and uncle.

What are their names?

Jean-Pierre and Ada Mimieux.

Where are they now?

My uncle was killed during Blitzkrieg.

Pity.

Continue.

Aunt Ada passed away from fever last spring.

Regrettable.

It's come to my attention you have a
Negro in your employ. Is that true?

Yes.

He is a Frenchman.

His name is Marcel.

He worked with my aunt and uncle
since they opened the cinema.

He's the only other one who works with me.

Doing what?

Projectionist.

Is he any good?

The best.

Actually, one could see where that
might be a good trade for them.

Can you operate the projectors?

Of course I can.

Knowing the Reich Minister as I do...

I'm quite positive...

...he wouldn't want the
success or failure of his illustrious evening...

...dependent on the prowess of a Negro.

So...

...if it comes to pass...

...we hold this event at your venue...

...talented no doubt, as your Negro may be...

...you will...

...operate the projectors.

Is that acceptable?

Yes.

Cigarette?

They are not French.

They are German.

I did have something else I wanted to ask you.

But right now, for the life of me,
I can't remember what it is.

Oh well, must not have been important.

'Til tonight.

(GASPING)

I must say, I appreciate the modesty
of this cinema.

Your cinema has real respect, almost
church like.

Not to say we couldn't spruce the
place up a bit.

Maybe I'll go to the Louvre, pick up a few
Greek nudes, and scatter them about the lobby.

(LAUGHS)

So, Emmanuelle, how did
you like "Lucky Kids"?

I quite like Lilian Harvey.

Lilian Harvey!

Never mention that name again in my presence!

Hey...

...what the fuck are we supposed to do?

It looks like we're supposed
to have a Nazi premiere.

Like I said, what the fuck are we supposed to do?

Well, I need to talk with you about that.

I'm confused, what are we talking about?

Filling the cinema with Nazis
and burning it down to the ground.

I'm not talking about that.

You are talking about that.

No, we're talking about that, right now.

If we can keep this place from burning
down by ourselves...

...we can burn it down by ourselves?

Yes, Shosanna, we could do that.

And with Madame Mimieux's
350 nitrate film print collection...

...we wouldn't even need explosives...

...would we?

(SCOFFS)

You mean we wouldn't need any more explosives?

At that time, 35 millimeter
nitrate film was so flammable

that you couldn't even
bring a reel onto a streetcar.

Hey, you can't bring those
here on a public vehicle.

They're films, ain't they? Yes.

Then they're flammable.
Go on, hop off.

Because nitrate film burns
three times faster than paper.

Shosanna has a collection

of over 350 nitrate
film prints.

I am going to burn down the cinema on Nazi night.

And if I'm going to burn down the cinema...

...which I am...

...we both know, you're not
going to let me do it by myself.

Because you love me. And I love you. And you're the
only person on this earth I can trust.

But that's not all we're going to do.

Does the filmmaking equipment
in the attic still work?

I know the film camera does.
How about the sound recorder?

Quite well, actually.

I recorded a new guitarist I met in a cafe last week.
It works superb.

Why do we need filmmaking equipment?

Because Marcel, my sweet...

...we're going to make a film.

Just for the Nazis.

Chapter Four

Chapter Four
OPERATION KINO

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Right this way,
Lieutenant.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Lieutenant Archie H icox
reporting, sir.

General Ed Fenech.
At ease, H icox.

Drink?

If you offer me a scotch and plain water,
I could drink a scotch and plain water.

That-a-boy, Lieutenant. Make it
yourself like a good chap, will you?

The bar is in the globe.

Something for yourself,
sir?

Whiskey. Straight.
No junk in it.

It says here that
you speak German fluently.

Like a Katzenjammer Kid.

And your occupation
before the war?

I'm a film critic.

List your accomplishments.

Well, sir,
such as they are,

I write reviews and articles for a
publication called Films and Filmmakers,

and I've had
two books published.

Impressive. Don't be modest,
Lieutenant. What are their titles?

The first book
was called

Art of the Eyes, the Heart and the Mind:
A Study of German Cinema in the '20s.

And the second one was called
Twenty-Four Frame da Vinci.

It's a subtextual film criticism study
of the work of German director G.W. Pabst.

What should we
drink to, sir?

Well...

Down with Hitler.

All the way down, sir.

Yes.

Are you familiar with German
cinema under the Third Reich?

Yes. Obviously, I haven't seen any of
the films made in the last three years,

but I'm familiar with it.

Explain it to me.

Pardon, sir?

Well, this little escapade of ours requires
a knowledge of the German film industry

under the Third Reich. Explain
to me U FA under Goebbels.

Goebbels considers
the films he's making

to be the beginning of a
new era in German cinema.

An alternative
to what he considers

the Jewish-German intellectual
cinema of the '20s,

and the Jewish-controlled
dogma of Hollywood.

How's he doing?

Frightfully sorry, sir.
Once again?

You say he wants to take on
the Jews at their own game.

Well, compared to,
say, Louis B. Mayer,

how's he doing?

Quite well, actually.

Since Goebbels
has taken over,

film attendance has steadily risen
in Germany over the last eight years.

But Louis B. Mayer wouldn't be
Goebbels' proper opposite number.

I believe Goebbels sees himself
closer to David O. Selznick.

Brief him.

Lieutenant H icox, at this point and time
I'd like to brief you on Operation Kino.

Three days from now

Joseph Goebbels is throwing a gala
premiere of one of his new movies in Paris.

What film, sir?

The motion picture is
called Nation's Pride.

In attendance at this
joyous Germatic occasion

will be Goebbels, Goring, Bormann,
and most of the German H igh Command

including all high ranking officers
of both the SS and the Gestapo,

as well as luminaries of the
Nazi propaganda film industry.

The master race at play?

Basically, we have all our
rotten eggs in one basket.

The objective
of Operation Kino,

blow up the basket.

And like the snows of
yesteryear, gone from this earth.

Jolly good, sir.

An American Secret Service outfit
that lives deep behind enemy lines

will be your assist.

The Germans call them
the Basterds.

The Basterds.
Never heard of them.

Whole point of the Secret Service,
old boy, you not hearing of them.

But the Jerries have heard of them, because
these Yanks have been them the devil.

You'll be dropped into France,
about 24 kilometers outside of Paris.

The Basterds
will be waiting for you.

First thing, you'll go to a
little village called Nadine.

In Nadine, there's a
tavern called La Louisiane.

There you'll rendezvous with our
double agent. She'll take it from there.

She's the one who is going
to get you into the premiere.

It'll be you, her, and two
German-born members of the Basterds.

She's also made all the other
arrangements you're going to need.

How will I know her?

I suspect that won't be
too much trouble for you.

Your contact
is Bridget von Hammersmark.

Bridget von Hammersmark?

(CHUCKLING)
The German movie star
is working for England?

Yes, for the last
two years now.

One could even say that
Operation Kino was her brainchild.

Indeed.

Got the gist?

I think so, sir.
Paris when it sizzles.

The village of Nadine...

You didn't say the goddamn
rendezvous is in a fucking basement.

I didn't know.

You said it was
in a tavern.

It is a tavern.

Yeah, in a basement.

You know, fighting in a basement
offers a lot of difficulties.

N umber one being, you're
fighting in a basement.

What if we go in there
and she's not even there?

We wait.

Don't worry. She's a British
spy. She'll make the rendezvous.

Stiglitz, right?

That's right, sir.

I hear you're pretty good
with that.

You know, we're not looking
for trouble right now.

Simply making contact with our
agent. Should be uneventful.

However, the off chance I'm
wrong, things prove eventful,

I need to know
we can all remain calm.

I don't look calm to you?

(LAUGHS)

Well, now that you put it
like that, I guess you do.

This Jerry of yours, Stiglitz, not
exactly the loquacious type, is he?

Is that the kind of man
you need? Loquacious type?

Fair point, Lieutenant.

So you all get in trouble in
there, what are we supposed to do?

Make bets
on how it all comes out?

If we get into trouble,
we can handle it.

But if trouble does happen,
we need you to make damn sure

no Germans, or French, for that
matter, escape from that basement.

If Frau von Hammersmark's cover is
compromised, the mission is kaput.

Speaking of Frau von Hammersmark, whose
idea was it for the deathtrap rendezvous?

She chose the spot.

Isn't that just dandy?

Look, she's not a military
strategist. She's just an actress.

You don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to
know you don't want to fight in a basement.

She wasn't picking
a place to fight.

She was picking a place
isolated and without Germans.

So, I'm male...

...I'm a fictional, literary character
from the past...

...I'm American, and that's controversial.

No, it's not controversial at all.

The nationality of the author has nothing to do
with the nationality of the character.

The character is the character.

Hamlet is not British. He is Danish.

So yes, this character was born in America.

(LAUGHING)
Well then.

Mathilda.

Schnapps?

Schnapps...Schnapps...Schnapps.

Five schnapps, please.

If I had a wife...

...would she be called a squaw?

Yes!

(ALL LAUGHING)

He's got it.

Three more questions!

Is my blood brother Old Shatterhand?

Yes!

Did Karl May write me?

Yes!

So who are you?!

I am "Winnetou," chief of the Apaches!

Yes!

That was good! That was good! That was good!

Now down with the glasses!

Cheers.

(MAN LAUGHING)

Attention!

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Hello, my lovelies.

Take a seat.

I will join you in moments. I'm just saying
goodbye to my five new friends here.

No hurry, Frau von Hammersmark. Take your time.

Enjoy yourself. We'll be just over here waiting.

Eric, my love.
Those are the friends I've been waiting for.

Please treat them to anything they like.

Frau von Hammersmark. Your wish is my command.

Officers...

...it would appear
the drinks are on the fr�ulein.

What would you like?

Whiskey.

Two whiskeys.

Three whiskeys.

Three whiskeys, very well.

I wish you a wonderful evening.

- Same to you.
- I thank you.

Your card!

Yes, you're right.

Let's see.

Genghis Khan! I would never have gotten that.

But of course you would have!

Hello, darling.

How are you?

So good to see you.

I thought this place was supposed to
have more French than Germans?

Yes, normally that's true.

The Sergeant over there's wife just had a baby.

And his commanding officer gave him
and his mates the night off to celebrate.

We should leave.

No.

We should stay.

For one drink at least.

I've been waiting for you in a bar.

(CORK POPPING)

It would look strange if we left
before we had a drink.

She's right. Just be calm and enjoy your whiskey.

Mmm.

Mathilda...

...come join us in the game.
Take Frau Hammersmark's place.

She would love to play the game.

(ALL CH EERING)

I will translate...and protect.

Don't worry, pretty little thing.

If any of these wolves gets
out of line, I'll kick their ass in.

Watch.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Rip off his nose.

Stop it!

Schnapps, schnapps, take your
schnapps in hand, comrades.

Before we go on playing...

...we will drink.

We drink to our friend Wilhelm.

And his little boy...

...Maximilian.

- To Max!
- To Max!

There's some new development.

The cinema venue has changed.

Why?

No one knows but that should
not be a real problem.

The cinema it's been changed to
is considerably smaller than The Ritz.

So whatever explosives you brought for The Ritz
should be doubly effective here.

Now the next piece of information...

...is colossal.

Try not to overreact.

The F�hrer-

(STAMMERING)

...I was just thinking...

...could you sign an autograph
to my son on his birthday?

Of course. I'd love to, Wilhelm.

This handsome Staff Sergeant
just became a father today.

Congratulations.

(LAUGHING)

Thank you.

Do you know the name of this progeny yet?

I most certainly do,
fr�ulein. His name is Maximilian.

Maximilian, wonderful name.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Nothing but the best for little Maximilian.

Max may not know who you are now but...

...he will. I will show him all of your movies.

Good.

He will grow up with your films and...

...this napkin on his wall.

I propose a toast to the greatest actress
in Germany!

There is no Dietrich! There is no Riefenstahl!
Only Von Hammersmark!

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Cheers!

Once again-

(EXHALING)

Frau Hammersmark, what brings you to France?

None of your business!

Staff Sergeant.

You might not have worn out your welcome with
the fr�ulein with your drunken boorish behavior...

...but you have worn out your welcome with me.

Might I remind you, Staff Sergeant,
you are an enlisted man.

This is an officer's table!

I suggest you stop pestering the fr�ulein...

...and rejoin your table.

Excuse me, Captain, but your accent is very unusual.

Where are you from?

You must be either completely
drunk or mad to dare...

...to speak to a superior officer with
such impertinentness!

Staff Sergeant.

I'm making you and you responsible for him.

I suggest you take hold of your friend...

...or he'll spend Max's first birthday
in jail for public drunkenness.

Might I inquire?

(PHONOGRAPH CRACKLING)

Like our young newly christened father here...

...I, too, have an acute ear for accents.

And like him...

...I, too, find yours odd.

From where do you hail, Captain?

Major, this is highly-

I wasn't speaking to you, Lieutenant Munich.

Or you either, Lieutenant Frankfurt.

I was speaking to Captain I-don't-know-what.

I was born in a village that rests
in the shadow of the Piz Pal�.

The mountain?

Yes.

In that village, we all speak like this.

Have you seen the Riefenstahl film?

Yes.

Then you saw me.

You remember the skiing torch scene?

Yes.

In that scene was myself, my father,
my sister and my two brothers.

My brother is so handsome...

...the director Pabst, gave him a Close-Up.

Herr Major, if my word means anything...

...I can vouch for everything
the young captain has just said.

He does hail from the bottom of the Piz Pal�.

He was in the film and his brother is far more
handsome than he.

(LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

You should rejoin your friends.

May I join you?

By all means.

Wunderbar!

So that's the source of your bizarre accent.

That's extraordinary.

What are you doing here?

Aside from having a drink with the lovely fr�ulein?

Well, that pleasure requires no explanation.

I mean in country.

You're obviously not stationed in
France or I'd know who you are.

You know every German in France?

Worth knowing.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Well, there lies the problem.

We never claimed to be worth knowing.

All levity aside, what are you doing in France?

Attending Minister Goebbels' film
premiere as the fr�ulein's escort.

You are the Fr�ulein Hammersmark's escort.

Someone has to carry her lighter.

(CHUCKLING)

(LAUGHING)

The captain is my date,
but all three are my guests.

We are old friends...

...who go back a long time.

(SlGHS)

Actually, longer than an actress
would care to admit.

Well, in that case...

...let me raise my glass to the
three luckiest men in the room.

I'll drink to that.

Queen Christina.

(HUMMING
EXOTlC MELODY)

Mata Hari.

I must say...

...that game they're playing
looks like a good bit of fun.

I didn't join them because
you're quite right, Captain.

An officer should not fraternize with enlisted men.

But...

...seeing as we are all officers...

...and sophisticated lady friends of officers.

What say we play the game?

Yes, great, one game.

Wunderbar.

Soldiers...

...the cards.

Thank you.

So gentlemen...

...the object of the game is to...

...write the name of a famous
person on your card.

Real or fictitious, doesn't matter.

For instance, you could write,
Confucius or Doctor Fu Manchu.

Eric! More pens.

And they must be famous, not aunt Frida.

When you finish writing,
put the card face down on the table.

And move it to the person on your right...

Thanks.

The person to your left moves his card to you.

You pick up the card without looking at it...

...lick the back...

...and stick it on your forehead.

(ROCK MUSlC PLAYING)

(WHlP CRACKING)

(GRUNTS)

Write!

Write.

(VON HAMMERSMARK LAUGHING)

I'll start, give you the idea.

Am I German?

- No.
- No.

Am I American?

- No.
- No.

Wait a minute, he goes to...

Obviously, he wasn't born in America.

So...I visited America, aye?

Yes.

Was this visit fortuitous?

Not for you.

My native land, is it what one would call, exotic?

- Yes.
- Yes.

That could be either a reference
to the jungle or the Orient.

I'm going to let my first instinct take over and ask.
Am I from the jungle?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Now gentlemen, around this time you could
ask whether you're real or fictitious.

I, however, think that's too easy,
so I won't ask that yet.

Okay...

...my native land is the jungle...

...I visited America...

...but my visit was not fortuitous to me...

but the implication is that it was to somebody else.

When I went...

...from the jungle to America...

...did I go by boat?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Did I go against my will?

- Yes.
- Yes.

On this boat ride, was I in chains?

Yes.

When I arrived in America,
was I displayed in chains?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Am I the story of the Negro in America?

No.

Well then I must be King Kong.

(LAUGHING)

Bravo!

Impressive.

Now, since I answered correctly, you
all need to finish your drinks.

Cheers.

Now, who is next?

Well, Major...

...I don't mean to be rude. But
the four of us are very good friends.

And we haven't seen each other in quite a while.

So, Major...

...I am afraid...

...you are intruding.

I beg to differ, Captain.

It's only if the fr�ulein considers
my presence an intrusion...

...that I become an intruder.

How about it, Fr�ulein von Hammersmark?
Am I intruding?

I didn't think so.

It's simply the captain is immune to my charms.

(LAUGHING)

I am just joking.

Just joking. Of course I'm intruding.

Allow me to refill your glasses, gentlemen, and
I will bid you and the fr�ulein adieu.

Eric has a bottle of
thirty-three-year-old whiskey.

From the Scottish Highlands.

What do you say, gentlemen?

You're most gracious, Major.

Eric! The thirty-three. And new glasses!

You don't want to contaminate the
thirty-three with the swill you were drinking.

How many glasses?

Five.

Not for me.

I like scotch, scotch doesn't like me.

Nor I. I'll stay with bubbly.

Three glasses.

(EXHALES)

Frau von Hammersmark.

Thank you.

A thousand year German Reich!

- A thousand year Reich!
- A thousand year Reich!

(EXCLAlMS)

I must say I grow weary of these monkeyshines.

Did you hear that?

That was the sound of my Walther.

Pointed right at your testicles.

Why do you have your Walther
pointed at my testicles?

Because you've just given yourself away, Captain.

You're no more German than that scotch.

Well, Major.

Shut up slut.

You were saying?

I was saying that makes two of us.

I've had a gun pointed at your
balls since you sat down.

That makes three of us.

And at this range, I'm a real Fredrick Zoller.

Looks like we have a bit of a sticky situation here.

What's going to happen, Major...

...you're going to stand up
and walk out that door with us.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't think so.

I'm afraid you and I...

...we both know, Captain...

...no matter what happens to anybody else
in this room...

...the two of us aren't going anywhere.

Too bad about Sergeant Wilhelm
and his famous friends.

If any of you expect to live,
you'll have to shoot them too.

Looks like little Max will grow up an orphan.

How sad.

Well, if this is it,
old boy,

I hope you don't mind if I
go out speaking the King's.

By all means,
Captain.

There's a special rung in hell reserved
for people who waste good Scotch.

Seeing as I may be rapping
on the door momentarily,

I must say,
damn good stuff, sir.

Now, about this pickle

we find ourselves in.

It would appear there's only
one thing left for you to do.

And what would that be?

Stiglitz.

Say auf Wiedersehen
to your Nazi balls.

(SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(GUN COCKING)

You outside.
Who are you?

British? American?

What?

We're American.

What are you?

I'm a German, you idiot.

Speak English
pretty good for a German.

I agree.

So let's talk.

Okay, talk.

I'm a father.

My baby was born today.
In Frankfurt.

Five hours ago.

H is name is Max. We were in
here drinking, celebrating.

They're the ones that came in shooting
and killing. It's not my fault!

Okay!
It wasn't your fault.

What's your name,
soldier?

Wilhelm.

Now, is there anybody alive
on our side?

No.
I'm alive!

Who's that?

(GRUNTS)

Is the girl
on your side?

Which girl?

Who do you think?
Von Hammersmark.

Yeah, she's ours.

Is she okay?

Wilhelm!

She's been shot.

But she's alive.

Okay, Wilhelm.

What do you say
we make us a deal?

What's your name?

Aldo.

Okay, Wilhelm,
here's my deal.

You let me and one of my men come
down there and take the girl away.

No guns. No guns me,
no guns you.

And we take the girl and
leave. It's that simple, Willi.

You go your way,
we go ours.

And little Max gets to grow up
playing catch with his daddy.

So what do you say, Willi?
We got us a deal?

Aldo.

I'm here, Willi.

I want to trust you.

But...

But how can I?

What choice you got,
son?

Okay, okay.

Aldo,

I'm going to trust you.

Come down.

(SNIFFLES)

Hey, Willi, what's with the machine
gun? I thought we had us a deal?

We still have a deal.
Now, get the girl and go.

Not so fast.

We only got a deal,
we trust each other.

And a Mexican standoff
ain't trust.

You need guns on me for it
to be a Mexican standoff.

You got guns on us. You
decide to shoot, we're dead.

U p top, they got grenades. They
drop them down here, you're dead.

That's a Mexican standoff,
and that was not the deal.

No trust,
no deal.

All right, Aldo.

Fine.

J ust take that fucking traitor,
and get her out of my sight.

(VON HAMMERSMARK GROANING)

Not so goddamn fast, doc. Tell
him to go play with his dogs.

(DOGS BARKING)

Before we yank that slug out you,
you need to answer a few questions.

Few questions
about what?

About I got three men
dead back there.

Why don't you try telling us
what the fuck happened?

The British officer blew his German
act and the Gestapo major saw it.

Before we get into
who shot John,

why'd you invite my men to a rendezvous
in a basement with a bunch of Nazis?

I can see since you didn't
see what happened inside,

that the Nazis being there
must look odd.

Yeah, we got a word for
that kind of odd in English.

It's called suspicious.

(EXCLAIMING)

Everybody needs
to calm down.

You're letting your imagination
get the better of you.

You met the sergeant
yourself. Willi.

You remember him,
don't you?

Yeah, I remember him.

H is wife had a baby tonight.
He had just become a...

He had just become
a father!

H is commanding officer gave him and
his mates the night off to celebrate.

(GROANS)

The Germans being there was either a
trap set by me or a tragic coincidence.

It couldn't be both.

(GRUNTING)

How'd the shooting start?

The Englishman
gave himself away.

How'd he do that?

He ordered three glasses.

We order three glasses.

That's the German three.

The other looks odd.

Germans would
and did notice it.

(BREATHING DEEPLY)

Okay, let's pretend
there were no Germans

and everything went exactly
the way it was supposed to.

What was the next step?

Tuxedos.

To get them into the premiere
wearing military uniforms

with all the military there
would've been suicide.

But going as members
of the German film industry,

they wear tuxedos and fit
in with everybody else.

I arranged for the tailor
to fit three tuxedos tonight.

How'd you intend to get them
in that premiere?

Hand me my purse.

Lieutenant H icox
was going as my escort.

The other two were going as a
German cameraman and his assistant.

You still get us
in that premiere?

You speak German better
than your friends? No.

Have I been shot? Yes!

I don't see me tripping the light
fantastique up a red carpet anytime soon.

Least of all,
by tomorrow night.

However, there's something
you don't know.

There've been two recent
developments regarding Operation Kino.

One, the venue has been changed from
The Ritz to a much smaller venue.

Enormous change at the last
minute? That's not very Germatic.

Why the hell is Goebbels
doing stuff so damn peculiar?

It probably has something to
do with the second development.

Which is?

Der Fuhrer is attending
the premiere.

I've been rethinking my position...

in regards to your Paris premiere
of "Nation's Pride."

As the weeks have gone on...

...and the Americans are on the beach...

...I do find myself thinking more and more...

...about this Private Zoller.

This boy has done something tremendous for us.

And I'm beginning to think...

...my participation in this event could be meaningful.

Fuck a duck!

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking getting a whack
at planting old U ncle Adolf

makes this horse
a different color.

What is that
supposed to mean?

It means you getting us
in that premiere.

I'm probably going
to end up losing this leg.

Bye-bye, acting career.
Fun while it lasted.

How do you expect me
to walk the red carpet?

(SNORTS)

Doggy doc's going to dig
that slug out your gam.

He's going to wrap it up
in a cast,

and you got a good how-I-broke-my-leg-
mountain-climbing story.

That's German, ain't it? You all
like climbing mountains, don't you?

I don't. I like smoking, drinking
and ordering in restaurants.

But I see your point.

We fill you up with morphine
till it's coming out your ears

and just limp your little
ass up that reuge carpet.

I know this is a silly
question before I ask it,

but can you Americans speak
any other language than English?

We both speak
a little Italian.

With an atrocious accent,
no doubt.

But that doesn't exactly
kill us in the crib.

Germans don't have
a good ear for Italian.

So you mumble Italian and brazen
through it. Is that the plan?

That's about it.

That sounds good.

It sounds like shit. What else
are we going to do? Go home?

No, that sounds good.

If you don't blow it, with that,
I can get you in the building.

Who does what?

Well, I speak the most
Italian, so I'll be your escort.

Donowitz speaks second most, so
he'll be your Italian cameraman.

Omar, third most.
He'll be Donny's assistant.

I don't speak Italian.

Like I said, third best. Just
keep your fucking mouth shut.

In fact, why don't you
start practicing right now?

(CHUCKLES)

You've moved up in the world.

Look at you, Lieutenant First Class.

And with your record of insubordination.
Truly remarkable.

And that one's name is...

...Wilhelm Wicki.

He's an Austrian-born Jew, who
immigrated to the United States...

...when things began turning sour
for the Israelites.

They are the two German-born
members of the Basterds.

They've been known to don German uniforms,
to ambush squads.

What brings you all the way out here?

But that doesn't look like this.

This is odd.

It would appear somebody's missing.

Somebody fashionable.

Everybody out!

(MOTORCYCLE ENGINES STARTING)

"To Max, with love."

Bridget von Hammersmark.

(KISSES)

(DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five
REVENGE OF THE GIANT FACE

Night of "NATION'S PRIDE" premiere

Remember...in English.

Yes.

Action.

But how do we get it developed?

Only a suicidal idiot like us
would develop that footage.

And suppose someone would develop the footage...

...how do we get a 35mm
print with a soundtrack?

We find somebody who can develop
and process a 35mm print with a soundtrack.

And we make them do it...

...or we kill them.

Bring that fucker over here!
Put his head down on that table.

You either do what the fuck we tell you...

or I'll bury this axe in your collaborating skull.

I'm not a collaborator.

Marcel, do his wife and children know you?

Yes.

Then after we kill this dog for the Germans...

...we'll go and silence them.

Jannings, come on, show the ring.

Come on, come on. There you go!

Fredrick, have a look at it.
This is the highest artistic honor that I give.

- Herr Doctor, I'm also feeling very honored.
- You deserve it, my dear Jannings!

But I believe after the premiere today,
we have a new candidate.

Ah, Emmanuelle...

...I'd like you to meet the
greatest actor in the world...

...Emil Jannings.

Mademoiselle, I'm pleased to meet you.

You have a beautiful cinema.

Thank you, Hermann.

Fr�ulein von Hammersmark.

Colonel Landa, it's been years.

Dashing as ever, I see.

So what's happened to your lovely leg?

A by-product of kicking ass in
the German cinema, no doubt.

Save your flattery, you old dog.

I know too many of your former conquests
to fall into that honey pot.

Seriously, what happened?

Well, I tried my hand, foolishly I might add...

...at mountain climbing.

(LAUGHING)

And this is the result.

Mountain climbing?

That's how you injured your leg
- mountain climbing?

Believe it or not, yes it is.

(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

Forgive me, fr�ulein. I don't mean to
laugh at your misfortune.

It's just... mountain climbing?

I'm curious, fr�ulein, what could have ever compelled
you to undertake such a foolhardy endeavor?

Well, I shan't be doing it again,
I can tell you that.

That cast looks as fresh as my old Uncle Gustav.

When were you climbing this mountain,
last night?

Very good eye, Colonel.

It happened yesterday morning.

And where in Paris is this mountain?

No, I'm just teasing you, fr�ulein.

You know me, I tease rough.

So, who are your three
handsome escorts?

I'm afraid neither three speak a word of German.

They're friends of mine from Italy.

This is a wonderful Italian
stuntman, Enzo Gorlomi.

A very talented cameraman,
Antonio Margheriti.

And Antonio's camera assistant
Dominick Decocco.

Gentlemen, this is an old friend,
Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

Hello.

Gentlemen, it's a pleasure...

...the friends of our cherished star, admired
by all of us, this outright jewel of our culture...

...are naturally going to be under my personal
protection for the duration of their stay.

Thank you.

Gorlomi?

Am I saying it correctly?

Yes...'er, correct.

Say it for me once please...?

Gorlomi.

I'm sorry, again...?

Once more...?

(SOFTLY) Gorlomi .

What's your name again...?

Antonio Margheriti.

Again...?

Margheriti.

One more time, but let me
really hear the music in it!

Margheriti.

And you...?

Dominick Decocco.

Well, my two cameraman friends
need to find their seats.

Let me see your tickets.

I suppose you getting premiere tickets for your
friends wouldn't be the most difficult thing...

...for a star of your status.

0023 and 0024.

That shouldn't be too difficult to find, goodbye.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Ooh la la, Danielle Darrieux.
(GASPS SOFTLY)

I have to go down and socialize
with these Hun pigs.

Let's go over it again.

Reel one is on the first projector.

Reel two...

...is on the second.

The third one is on the spool.

And the fourth one is ready to go.

Okay, the big sniper battle
in the film...

...begins around the middle
of the third reel.

Our film comes in on the fourth reel.

Somewhere towards the end
of the third reel...

...go down and lock the doors
of the auditorium.

Then take your place behind the
screen and wait for my cue.

Then burn it down.

Take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

Everybody, please take your seats.
The show is about to begin.

We'll see you later.

Not so fast.

A glass of champagne...

...to toast "Nation's Pride."

My fr�ulein, may I have a word
with you in private?

Certainly.

Excuse us.

Have a seat, my fr�ulein.

May I?

Mademoiselle Mimieux allowed me...

...to set up camp in her office
for the time being.

Let me see your foot.

I beg your pardon?

Put your foot in my lap.

Hans, you embarrass me.

Could you please reach into
the right pocket of my coat...

...and give me what you find in there.

May I?

What's that
American expression?

"If the shoe fits,
you must wear it. "

(CHUCKLES)

What now, Colonel?

(HANS EXCLAlMING)

(VON HAMMERSMARK GRUNTING)

(VON HAMMERSMARK SIGHS)

(HANS PANTING)

The guy in the white smoking jacket.

Fucking shithead.
Faggot fuck. Fuck you!

Bunch of shithead fuck.

Fuck you, too!

Goddamn Nazi farts, sons of
bitches! Get your hands off me.

You fucking bratwurst-smelling...
Goddamn you! Get off!

Hmm.

Clever.

I informed the F�hrer that the
audience has taken their seats.

He should arrive any minute.

Thank you, Hans.

You Jerry-banging,
Limburg-smelling...

Let go.

As Stanley said
to Livingstone,

Lieutenant Aldo Raine,
I presume?

Hans Landa.

(TRUCK ENGINE STARTING)

You've had
a nice long run, Aldo.

Alas, you're now
in the hands of the SS.

My hands to be exact.

And they've been waiting
a long time to touch you.

Caught you flinching.

Touch me again,
Kraut-burger.

Utivich?

Is that you,
Lieutenant?

Yeah.

Do you know
what happened to Donny?

Omar?

The woman?

No, I do not.

Tell me, Aldo, if I were
sitting where you're sitting,

would you
show me mercy?

Nope.

What is that English
expression about shoes and feet?

"Looks like the shoe is on the other
foot. " Yeah, I was just thinking that.

You may leave us.

But stay alert outside.

So you're Aldo the Apache.

So you're The Jew Hunter.

I'm a detective.

A damn good detective.

Finding people
is my specialty,

so naturally, I worked for
the Nazis finding people.

And, yes, some of them
were Jews. But Jew Hunter?

(SNORTS)

J ust a name that stuck.

Well, you do have to
admit, it is catchy.

Do you control the nicknames
your enemies bestow on you?

Aldo the Apache
and the Little Man?

What do you mean
the Little Man?

Germans' nickname for you.

The Germans' nickname for me
is the Little Man?

And as if to make my point, I'm a little
surprised how tall you were in real life.

I mean, you're a little fellow,
but not circus-midget little,

as your reputation
would suggest.

Where's my men?

Where's
Bridget von Hammersmark?

Well, let's just say,
she got what she deserved.

And when you purchase friends
like Bridget von Hammersmark,

you get what you pay for.

Now as far as your paesanos,
Sergeant Donowitz and Private Omar...

How you know our names?

Lieutenant Aldo,

if you don't think
I wouldn't interrogate

every single one of your
swastika-marked survivors,

we simply aren't operating on the
level of mutual respect I assumed.

No, I guess not.

Well, back to the whereabouts
of your two Italian saboteurs.

As of this moment,

both Omar and Donowitz should be sitting
in the very seats we left them in.

Double-zero 23 and double-zero
24, if my memory serves.

Explosives still around their
ankles, still ready to explode.

And your mission, some
would call a terrorist plot,

as of this moment,
is still a go.

That's a pretty exciting story.
What's next? Eliza on Ice?

However,

all I have to do is pick up
this phone right here,

inform the cinema,
and your plan is kaput.

If they're still here, and if they're
still alive, and that's one big if,

there ain't no way you're
going to take them boys

without setting off
them bombs.

I have no doubt.

And, yes, some Germans will die.
Yes, it will ruin the evening.

And, yes, Goebbels will be
very, very, very mad at you

for what you've done
to his big night.

But you won't get Hitler,
you won't get Goebbels,

you won't get Goring,
and you won't get Bormann.

And you need all four
to end the war.

But if I don't pick up
this phone right here,

you may very well
get all four.

And if you get all four,
you end the war

tonight.

So, gentlemen,

let's discuss the prospect
of ending the war tonight.

So, the way I see it,

since Hitler's death or possible
rescue rests solely on my reaction,

if I do nothing,

it's as if I'm causing his
death even more than yourselves.

Wouldn't you agree?

I guess so.

How about you,
Utivich?

I guess so, too.

Gentlemen,
I have no intention

of killing Hitler and killing Goebbels and
killing Goring and killing Bormann,

not to mention winning the war
single-handedly for the Allies,

only later to find myself standing
before a Jewish tribunal.

If you want to win
the war tonight,

we have to make a deal.

What kind of deal?

The kind you wouldn't
have the authority to make.

However, I'm sure this mission of yours has
a commanding officer.

A general.

I'm betting for...

OSS would be my guess.

(EXCLAlMS)

That's a bingo!

Is that the way you say it?
"That's a bingo. "

You just say, "Bingo. "

Bingo! How fun.

But I digress. Where were we?
Yeah! Make a deal.

Over there is a very capable
two-way radio and sitting behind it

is a more than capable
radio operator named Hermann.

Get me someone on the other end
of that radio

with the power of the pen
to authorize my,

let's call it, the terms of my
conditional surrender.

If that tastes better
going down.

You know,
where I'm from...

Yeah?
Where is that exactly?

Maynardville,
Tennessee.

I've done my share
of bootlegging.

U p there, if you engage in what the federal
government calls illegal activity,

but what we call just a man trying to
make a living for his family

selling moonshine liquor, it behooves
oneself to keep his wits.

Long story short, we hear a story
too good to be true,

it ain't.

Sitting in your chair, I would probably
say the same thing,

and 999.999 times out of a million,
you would be correct.

But in the pages of history,
every once in a while,

fate reaches out
and extends its hand.

What shall
the history books read?

(PEOPLE ON FlLM SHOUTING)

(GUNFlRE)

(SCREAMING)

I implore you.
We must destroy that tower.

Sarge, that tower...

The tower stands!

Gum?

Psst! Psst!

It's time.

I should go lock the auditorium and
take my place behind the screen.

(GUNFlRE)

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

So when the military history
of this night is written,

it will be recorded that I was part
of Operation Kino

from the very beginning
as a double agent.

Anything I've done in my guise
as an SS Colonel

was sanctioned by the OSS
as a necessary evil

to establish my cover
with the Germans.

And it was my placement of
Lieutenant Raine's dynamite

in Hitler and Goebbels'
opera box that assured their demise.

I informed the F�hrer that the
audience has taken their seats.

He should arrive any minute.

Thank you, Hans.

By the way, that last part
is actually true.

I want my full military pension and benefits
under my proper rank.

I want to receive the Congressional
Medal of Honor

for my invaluable assistance in the toppling
of the Third Reich.

In fact, I want all the members of
Operation Kino

to receive the
Congressional Medal of Honor.

Full citizenship for myself.
Well, that goes without saying.

And I would like
the United States of America

to purchase property for me
on Nantucket Island

as a reward for all the countless lives
I've saved

by bringing the tyranny
of the National Socialist Party

to a swifter-than-imagined end.
Do you have all that, sir?

I look forward to seeing you
face to face as well, sir.

Lieutenant Raine?
Right here.

Yes, sir.

Colonel Landa will put you and Private
Utivich in a truck as prisoners.

Then he and his radio operator will
get in the truck and drive to our lines.

Upon crossing our lines, Colonel Landa
and his man will surrender to you.

You will then take over
driving of the truck

and bring them straight to me for
debriefing. Is that clear, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

Over and out.

(GUNFIRE)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

(LAUGHING)

Herr Dr, Goebbels, excuse me.
Could I go out for a moment?

Perfectly understandable, my boy.
You go now, and we'll see you after the show.

Who is it?

Fredrick!

Shit.

(CHIMING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Are you the manager of this cinema?
I want my money back.

That actor in the movie stinks.

What are you doing here?

I came to visit you.

Can't you see how busy I am?

Then allow me to lend an assist.

Fredrick, it's not funny, you can't be here.

This is your premiere,
you need to be out there with them.

Normally, you would be right.

And for all the other films I do...

...I intend to endure evenings like tonight,
in the proper spirit.

However, the fact remains...

...this film is based on my military exploits.

And in this case,
my exploits consisted of killing many men.

Consequently, the part of
the film that's playing now...

...I don't like watching this part.

- I am sorry, Fredrick, but...
- So, I thought...

...I'd come up here and do what I do best...

...annoy you.

And from the look on your face,
it would appear I haven't lost my touch.

Are you so used to the Nazis kissing your ass...

...you've forgotten what the word "no" means?

No...you can't be here!

Now go away!

Fredrick, you hurt me.

Well, it's nice to know you can feel something.

Even if it's just physical pain.

I'm not a man you say, "go away" to.

There's over three hundred dead bodies in Italy,
that if they could, would testify to that!

After what I've done for you...

...you disrespect me at your peril!

Lock the door.

What?

Lock the door.

We don't have much time.

Time for what?

(SIGHS)

Forget it!

No, no, no...wait.

You want me to...lock the door?

For the fifty-seventh time, yes.

(GUNFIRE ON FILM)

(GROANS)

(MOANS)

(SCREAMS)

When I kill that guy,
you got 30 feet to get to that guard.

Can you do it?
I have to.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Champagne?

(GUNSHOT)

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

Extraordinary my dear, simply extraordinary!

This is your finest film yet.

Thank you, my F�hrer.

Thank you.

Who wants to send
a message to Germany?

I have a message
for Germany.

That you are
all going to die.

Enough! Stop it!

Turn off the projector!

And I want you to look deep into the face of
the Jew who's going to do it!

I don't know what's going on.
That does not belong in my movie!

Marcel, burn it down.

Oui, Shosanna.

(LAUGHING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

My name
is Shosanna Dreyfus,

and this is the face

of Jewish vengeance.

(SHOSANNA LAUGHING)

These are the American lines, Colonel sir.

Excellent, Hermann.

Hermann,
uncuff them.

I'm officially surrendering myself over
to you, Lieutenant Raine.

We're your prisoners.

How about my knife?

(CHUCKLES)

Thank you very much,
Colonel.

Utivich, cuff the Colonel's hands
behind his back.

Is that really
necessary?

I'm a slave
to appearances.

(GUNSHOT)

Scalp Hermann.

Are you mad?

What have you done?

I made a deal with your general
for that man's life!

Yeah, they made that deal. But they don't
give a fuck about him. They need you.

You'll be shot for this!

Nah, I don't think so. More like chewed out.
I've been chewed out before.

You know, Utivich and myself heard that
deal you made with the brass.

End the war tonight?

I'd make that deal.

How about you, Utivich?
You make that deal?

I'd make that deal.

I don't blame you.
Damn good deal.

And that pretty little nest
you feathered for yourself.

Well, if you're willing to barbecue
the whole H igh Command,

I suppose that's worth
certain considerations.

But I do have
one question.

When you get to your little place
on Nantucket Island,

I imagine you are going to take off that
handsome-looking SS uniform of yours.

Ain't you?

That's what I thought.

Now, that I can't abide.

How about you, Utivich,
can you abide it?

Not one damn bit, sir.

I mean,
if I had my way,

you'd wear that goddamn uniform for the rest
of your pecker-sucking life.

But I'm aware
that ain't practical.

I mean, at some point, you're
going to have to take it off.

So,

I'm going to give you a little
something you can't take off.

(HANS SCREAMING)

You know something,
Utivich?

I think this just might be
my masterpiece.