Original subtitles

Gray?

Gray?

I'm trying to watch.

- Gray? - I'm trying to watch.

You're late for work.

I'm sorry.

What were you watching?

A peep show?

- You're mean. - You're mean.

Good comeback. Hey, let's go get some breakfast. Come on.

No... I have an early lunch.

With who?

It's for a film. Some director.

Little scotch and sofa?

And... cut! Yes. Great job. Great. Everybody good?

That was great for me. Gray, how're you feeling? Good?

Was that good for you?

We can go again. It's all about you. Cause I'm great.

You good? Do you wanna go again? It was good for me.

Was it good for you? Great, we can go to lunch.

"O PREÇO DO SUCESSO" - I Love Your Work -

Hey, Jimmy Stewart, take your hand out of your pants.

Lovely.

Hi, Mia, how are you? This is Elvis Costello calling.

How are you? Good. I'm in town... call me.

I'm in town. Did I say that? I think so. Call me, I'm at the Four Seasons.

How bizarre! He sounded a little nervous almost.

- He said he was in town five times. - I know.

- Don't be mad at me. - No, I'm not mad at you, no.

I'm not mad at all. It's just that he's... whatever. He's...

He's Elvis Costello. He thinks he can just call up.

- It's just tacky. - Okay, Jake LaMotta.

So, how was your meeting?

- I don't want to talk about it. - Okay.

Repent! Repent!

Talk to the press, okay?

Mia!

- Come on, man! Fuck you! - Well, you know...

it's just a cameo. I play a heroin dealer and...

I did it cause I got to wear a jump suit and give a super model a sponge bath.

- Honey, you didn't wear a jump suit. - Well, you know what I mean.

- Mia, you look gorgeous. - Thanks.

- You're a lucky man, Gray. - Yes, I am.

Mr. Gray!

Mia, look over here!

Mia, what are you wearing?!

How about a smile, Gray? How about a kiss, guys?

- Absolutely fabulous! - What a piece doggie doodie!

Can you believe how huge that was at Sundance?

Of course it was. It's about gay, heroin addicted angels!

Well, Mr. Cynical, you stole it. And you looked fabulous!

- Didn't he look fabulous, Mia? - What?

He said I looked fabulous. Didn't I look fabulous?

- He's saying he looked fabulous! - Gorgeous, he looked gorgeous!

Mr. Dangerous!

You were brilliant!

- You were brilliant! - What?

Brilliant!

The first time I saw her she was so gorgeous.

My God! Name! And then I said, I want to fly you in under cover of darkness.

I want to chop you up. I want snort you...

and then I'll represent the fucking hell out of you.

- Oh my God! - The gay mafia. Don't shoot.

- Stick 'em up! - Put it down. Come here.

How are you, pretty?

- How're you doing? - Okay, how are you?

- Hey, Stiev. - Mia, how're you doing?

You look great!

- It's good to see you. - Stiev, where did you get that suit?

I don't know. Some Italian guy. It's hard for me to find clothes.

I'm circus tall.

You know what I mean?

Gray, on the other hand, take him to Gap Kids one day.

He's set for the year.

I'm saying, I'm jealous. You got a great broad. You're easy to dress.

Out of the way.

- Wow! That's a weird moment. - I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.

Come here.

Stop it. C'mon. You're terrific. Off screen he's better, honestly.

- I love you, man. - I love you.

Call me when I'm in town.

- Charlotte! - Mia!

- Is everybody as fucked up as I am? - We're all fucked up. Him especially.

Could we get a drink over here, please?

You didn't give her number to Elvis Costello, did you?

Who?

- It's okay. - What?

Come on, Gray.

Oh God!

Oh God!

I miss Sundays.

It is Sunday.

I know.

That's a little frightening.

These love letters are all from kids or something.

Good morning, sunshine.

Good morning.

Here are your invitations...

and your fan mail... cigarettes... okay, so if you...

- Low fat? - Yeah.

Tomorrow your urologist had to cancel cause he had to see his chiropractor.

You need anything else then? Fruit?

No? Okay. Okay. Bye!

Gabriel... Camden. I think he's British. I can't read...

- I like British guys. - Read it.

"Dear Mia, I'm sure you hear this a lot.

But you're a very, very beautiful woman.

And I know you have a depth that few movie stars possess".

Oh I feel so much better now. I need that every morning. Thank you.

"I feel a genuine connection with you...

and know that if you were to meet me...

you would know that this is not just another fan letter."

Really?

Like you've never heard that one before.

"I'm five ten with brown eyes and a good build and..."

"If you're willing to have coffee or tea, if you would prefer...

then you'd know I wasn't just a fan...

but someone with whom you could really relate."

You should call him.

- Hello? - Jett, it's me.

- Cynthia? - No, it's Gray.

- What are you doing here? - What do you mean? It's Sunday.

I tried leaving a message. Your voice mail is full.

- Oh yeah, I'm sorry about that. I... - You suck!

Gray, look, I can't go out today, man. I've got a woman coming over.

- Who? - You don't know her.

I met her on the train. She's a waitress.

I like the story, Gray!

Are you sure? The light's so beautiful right now.

She's got an ass like a twelve-year-old boy. I've got to prepare myself.

See you.

That'll be $ 37.24.

Look, I'm sure you hate this, but...

I just wanted to tell you that your work...

it really, it really means a lot to me. It's had an impact on my life.

Thank you.

This probably sounds crazy, but I actually...

I wrote you one of those letters a couple of weeks ago.

- You did? - Yeah. My name is John Eckart.

- Gray. - It's nice to meet you.

You... sign that?

You know, I've never done anything like that before. But I'm a filmmaker.

Well, a grad student right now. But...

surely, you are one of the few guys whose work actually inspires me.

Well, thank you, that means a lot to me. Thank you.

- You were in film school, right? - What?

You used to be in film school, right?

Yeah, I went to film school, and then I became an actor.

You know, my girlfriend actually saw an exhibition of your photography.

She said it was really wonderful stuff. She really dug it.

Oh she did?

- A cranberry muffin, sir. - Thank you.

Gray Evans, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend, Jane Styros.

- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi. Nice to meet you too.

John and Jane, that's...

- Well, I should probably... - Well, here's your stuff.

- Do you need a bag or anything? - Oh no, I'm fine.

Well, stop by any time. I'll give you a discount on the movies you're in.

You'd have to pay me to buy those.

It was nice meeting you!

"I'll give you a discount on the movies you're in."

That was so smooth, that was good.

- Gray! - What are you wearing?

How about a smile, Gray?

Smile! Smile, Gray!

It's all right. It's probably not as a big a deal as you feel it is cause...

you're the one going through it.

Everyone goes through stuff in relationships.

- It's just... it's... - You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's just...

well, to be honest, it's just really getting ridiculous. We...

we hardly ever have sex anymore.

We don't make love anymore.

Unless we're drunk or after some... fight.

I knew a girl who was the most beautiful, attractive girl.

- A really beautiful, smart, wonderful... - Which one? Which one?

I don't think you knew her. Her name was Shelby.

And she dated this guy, and there was nothing exceptional about the guy.

I mean, she supported him. He didn't even have a job.

He wasn't complimenting her. He wouldn't tell her he cared about her.

He was always telling her, you're not doing this right...

Exactly!

Everyone would say: "You're great, you're beautiful"...

He was always like: "You're not pretty in that".

She showed up at my house one time. While we were talking or whatever...

she had a black eye.

I said to her: "Everyone says you're the most beautiful girl.

You're the smartest, you're the best friend anyone could have.

What the fuck are you doing with this fucking animal?".

And she said to me:

"He's the only one that tells me the truth".

And that's when it gets... heavy.

Cause you're usually so up and wonderful.

- Yeah. - And you need to carry that with you.

I just don't feel like that right now.

- Stop it. Don't be that girl. - You're being very sweet. I'm sorry.

- I'm serious. - No.

I'm not being sweet. You've just been going through a heavy thing.

I don't know.

But you are those things. You know that.

And... cut!

Could I get a hot towel? Could I get a hot towel?

I know you were a little concerned about that scene.

But I really think it's going to play well.

No, it's just CGI.

Fucking asshole.

Oh Jesus Christ! Yehud, you scared the shit out of me. How'd you get in here?

Do I ask you how you do your job?

But I don't pay you to sneak up on me.

I wouldn't go in there for awhile if I were you.

Say! That was a pretty nice piece of chicken you had there in the elevator.

Yeah, if you want to feel like a midget the rest of your life.

- So, how are you doing, Yehud? - Not bad. Yourself?

- I'm a little concerned. I mean... - Of course you are.

- What do you mean? Should I be? - Relax, Gray.

I'm only saying, people don't usually call me...

unless they are concerned.

- Yeah? - It's Samantha!

Hi. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that Yoohude...

- Yehud. - Yehud, sorry.

Yeah. He scared the shit out of me.

- Right. Sorry. - I think he's here.

- Are you here, Yehud? - Yes. I am here.

- Yes, he's here. - Okay!

Good. I'm gonna go then. If you need...

Okay, so, your gastroanterologist is...

Dialect coach at three o'clock. Okay, I'm gonna go. I'll be on my cell.

- Have a good rest of your day. - Yeah, you too.

- Bye! - Bye.

- Are you fucking her? - No.

So look, Yehud, I don't know if it's a big deal or not.

Gray, no one is trying to kill you!

Yehud, I've seen the guy twice in two days. I'm telling you, he's fucked up.

- Yeah? - Five minute warning, Gray!

Okay! So, you know...

You want I should hang around the set a little bit, huh?

- Go to a few premieres? - Yes. Just check him out.

All right, all right. I'll check him out. All right?

Thank you.

I have to make a ball game. Doing security for the playoffs.

- I'll start tomorrow. - Hey...

what do you know about Elvis Costello?

You think Elvis Costello is stalking you?

No. No. Never mind.

All right.

Oh by the way. That window. Security risk.

Yehud is kidding.

Listen to me!

I want you to tell me the instant that you're ready to start reading again.

Because if I start the day with 500 calls on my sheet...

literally 499 of them are about you. Okay?

"When is he reading? When is he reading?"

I said: "First of all, he's a person. Second of all, I'm busy.

And 3rd. Of all, I think it's a mistake... as an actor.

He's not some other thing."

But, I'm serious. I need you to tell me immediately.

Because, seriously. 500 calls, 499 about you.

I'm not kidding. I mean, I'm kidding a little, but...

Yeah, okay. Hey, does anybody want anything from the bathroom?

Hey, do you remember me?

My name's John. You came into my video store.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a strange coincidence.

Yeah, no kidding. My girl's got us tickets to this thing. Do you want to...

Thank you.

Are you here alone?

Oh no. I brought my girl. You met her the other day. Jane.

Yeah. So, do you wanna...

Hey, honey, look who I ran into.

- That's funny. - Yeah. What a coincidence.

- How are you doing? - Great.

- We should... - You know... sorry.

We went down to the zoo today and took some photos.

Have you ever done that?

- No, I haven't. - No?

Don't you hate when people come up and bug you?

Is that what you came up to ask me?

Let's just go. He obviously doesn't want to be bothered.

It's probably cool, right? It means people give a shit, right?

When you were dying in that flick with the angels, what did you say?

"Get me the fuck out of here."

- That's what you said? - I've got to get back to my wife.

Mia? I'd get back to her too, if I were you.

The guy's a lot shorter than I expected.

- It's a great place. - My God, where's it on?

- It's down by Rosarito. - Rosarito. Have you been there?

- It's gorgeous. Right on the beach. - But what do you do?

- You go to the beach, relax... - Do you like the beach?

If he wants me to go to Rosarito, fine. Have you been there?

- You have? No way! - Gray Evans! I love your work.

How about my work? Hello?

Lovely.

This is my friend, Charlotte.

- Oh my God, song! - Nicely cap.

It's something you say.

The stuff that you did before... Unbelievable!

Have you seen this crap?

- What? - Listen to this.

"We don't expect Gray Evans and Mia Lang's Euro marriage...

to be long for this world. Sources report that their relationship...

is as stormy as it is steamy. With both of them prone to fits of rage...

and a history of tumultuous relationships."

Well, it's not very nice.

What? It's not very nice? It's fucking slanderous. Are you kidding me?

What? Okay. Maybe you'll find this one amusing. Listen to this.

"Apparently, Gray Evans is not a big Elvis Costello fan.

After repeated phone calls from the King to Gray's wife, Mia Lang...

sources close to the couple say Gray flew into a jealous rage.

Is Elvis' aim true? We know someone doesn't seem to think so."

"Sources close to the couple."

Those were personal conversations that we had.

Who have you been talking to?

I didn't tell anybody. Did you, darling?

No!

I don't even know why you read that stuff!

I don't see how you can be so blasé about all this shit.

It's just evil press.

How come we never cook anymore?

We never cooked.

Don't be sad.

Are you sad? Don't be sad.

Come here.

Stop it. Hey!

- Do it again! - I hate you.

What's that, right there?

It's a script about a talking bunny.

- Don't laugh about my work. - I'm not laughing about your work.

- I'm laughing with your work. - Okay, fine.

Mia, hi. It's Elvis Costello. It was great seeing you.

Let's make a dinner plan. I'm in town.

You don't lover her, you son of a bitch!

- You motherfucker! - She's my wife!

- Why don't you treat her like one? - You're hurting me!

You're running from yourself!

- Jesus Christ! - You're running from yourself...

you stupid son of a bitch!

That was great. Fucking brilliant. Feel good?

Feel good, man? That was fucking excellent.

- Method asswipe. - You never fucking stop the scene.

- I fucking cut the scenes, capisci? - He almost broke my fucking arm!

- What are you, a fucking idiot? - Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot.

I'm gonna fire your ass. I don't give a shit who your father is.

- Who cares? - Fuck off.

Who wants to work with you anyway?

- Was that good? Yeah? - I don't feel good. I need another one.

Come on. Are you kidding me?

Scumbag!

Print that one!

- Hello? - Hey, Gray. It's Felicia.

- Hi, Felicia. - I'm good, thanks.

So you sound like you have a little cold. Are you okay there?

No, yeah. I just ate a chili. Some Thai food.

I know what you're gonna say but Swoosh, the nightclub...

is starting a magazine and they're doing a happy couples issue...

and they want to photograph hip couples in casual settings.

Like at home or playing tennis. And they want you and Mia for the cover!

- We'll do it. - Wow, that was easy.

No way, Gray. That's too tacky. I can't do that.

No, it's not tacky. We can do whatever we want.

They're just gonna follow us around.

And we can do whatever we want to do.

No, I'm sorry. I can't be part of it.

I don't understand you. You hate the business. You hate the rags.

You hate that we're a celebrity couple.

No. We are what we are. We might as well show them what we are.

Instead of all this stormy, tempestuous bullshit that they hear about.

- But we are stormy and tempestuous. - No, we're not!

It's me, Jett. Look, I'm sorry about the other day.

Anyway, I've got to have a colonoscopy in a couple of weeks...

And I met this little redhead who said she met you.

She's doing a piece in the same show.

Her name's Jenny or Jane or something.

Don't bother calling back. I'll be soaking. I'm feeling achey.

Of all the people I've interviewed nobody's done anything so outdoorsy.

It's really cute. Is the zoo kind of like a thing?

- No, not really. No. - Well...

we both really love wildlife. And we like taking walks together.

So, it's like killing two birds with one stone.

- Yeah. We don't love birds. - Hi, how you doing? Hi.

- This is so organic, Gray. - Yeah. I knew you'd love it.

Get a... we're just gonna get a shot of you guys.

- Okie-dokie. - Smile!

So, honey, what do you want to see first?

- A marriage counselor. - That's not an animal.

First of all, I just want to thank you guys for doing this.

I really appreciate it. And you just both look phenomenal.

Jeez! Do you want water? Do you need water?

- No, I'm fine. - You sure?

- Yeah. - Okay.

So, average day, what do you guys do? Day off. A Sunday.

Go ahead.

Well, we... we get up around four in the afternoon...

order pizza... fix around...

what do you say, honey? Around five, five-thirty-ish.

- Fix? - Yeah. Shoot up heroin.

- We're kidding. We're kidding. - Right.

You know, it's pretty normal. It's just like anybody else.

Just wake up, have breakfast...

you know...

read the paper, you know?

Just read the paper.

You gave me fake tits, man.

- What? - We agreed to be on good behavior.

They don't get your sense of humor.

Excuse me! It's not my fault they're fucking bimbos!

Oh hey! Don't sshh me. Don't sshh me, okay?

I am just being myself. Isn't that the fucking point?

- Be quiet, godammit! - But, why? This is who we really are!

Holy...

Hello, Mr. Evans.

- Are you all right, sir? - What are you doing?

You have the right to remain silent.

- He's got a gun! - You have the right to an attorney.

- What the fuck are you doing? - What does it look like?

- Making news. - What?

Has Gray Evans gone bonkers?

Or is this just another example of a fan...

taking his admiration of his favorite star too far?

Some speculate that Larry Hortense might very well be responsible...

for several celebrity stalkings.

Others question whether the star...

was just pulling all that kung fu training for his upcoming film...

abusing on an innocent fan.

Sources close to the couple say Gray and Mia...

are spending a quiet evening at home together.

Gray? What were you thinking?

I was just thinking it would be nice not to get shot.

Shot? By whom? All the guy wanted you to do was sign a copy of his book.

It was "Catcher in the fucking Rye", Louis.

- So creepy. - Are you serious?

- Hi. - Hi, sweetie. How are you?

Oh look. It's the Wild Bunch.

- Have you issued a statement yet? - No, I wanted to talk to you guys first.

Right. Good. We're going to keep it simple.

Obviously I'm just an entertainment attorney.

So until we find Gray a criminal attorney...

I think it's best that we just say it was an act of self-defense.

It was an act of self-defense.

Really? An act of self-defense? Did he threaten you, Gray?

I've seen the guy 90 fucking times!

Yehud, can you please tell them that the last thing a stalker is gonna do...

before he shoots you in the head is explain it to you first.

It's true. You know, there does seem to be a stalking epidemic going on.

That's fine, but this guy is not a stalker. He's a fan.

Yeah. And Mark Chapman just loved the "White Album".

Well, it was a good album.

Look, this guy is pressing charges, okay? This is serious.

This is absurd. Get me another drink, please.

What do you want, Scotch?

- How are you doing? - I'm sorry?

- How are you? - I'm fine, thanks.

- I haven't seen you in a while. - I'm sorry?

All right, so we'll regroup tomorrow? Gray, just get some rest.

- Yehud, can I talk to you for a moment? - Yeah.

- Vicodin? - Yeah.

Remember, you have a breakfast at ten-thirty!

There's something else that I wanted to talk to you about.

And I know that you'll probably think I'm pretty paranoid here.

But, really, at this point...

I'm at my wit's end and...

- What is the problem? - Well, okay.

Last week I got a fan letter from this guy.

- Hortense? - No, no, no. It's a different guy.

A different guy.

I coincidentally meet him the same day.

Nice to meet you.

Okay?

Two days later...

I again, coincidentally, run into him and his girlfriend.

Who, apparently, is a fan of my photography. Whatever.

Then, three days ago, I get a message from my friend, Jett.

I tried leaving you a message. Your voicemail's full.

Some girl is doing an art installation with my friend.

I'm feeling achey.

Right?

Right.

I'm going to suggest...

putting a couple of guys on you.

- No, no, no... - Nothing much.

Yehud, no. I'm not a freak. I don't want...

You are a freak. You're a movie star.

- I just want you to check them out. - All right.

- What about a gun? - What?

- That will make you feel better. - No!

Do I look like Charlton Heston? No, no gun!

All right, all right. But, if you change your mind...

No, I'm not going to change my mind. Just look into it.

All right, all right. You don't have to get snappy with me, huh?

No, I'm not getting... Yehud.

I'm so sorry, Shana baby. I wanted to do laundry with you.

That's all right, little man. How did you do?

Well, it was good, but I know I shouldn't get too riled.

You're cute when you're riled. How about some food?

See that's why I'm really excited.

I bought these 2 big heads of ice berg.

Does someone want his favorite salad?

- Somebody maybe might. - Because my baby needs to lose a few.

- I missed you all day. - I missed you more.

Let's never spend more than 4 h apart.

I say okay.

Did you get some good stuff today? The sky was so crazy blue.

Hey, good lookin', let me get a shot of you.

Perfect.

Felicia gave me these headshots for you to autograph...

for tap shoes for Toddlers.

Okay. I know. I'm sorry. I'll hang onto them.

Also, she wanted me to show you this. It's "The National...

Have you seen this bullshit?

They're probably going to use the National Probe as evidence.

- Gray... - Can you fucking believe this shit?

Don't worry about Hortense. He doesn't have a case.

Yeah, okay.

Tell me. Are you really afraid of these kids?

I don't know. You tell me. Is this all them?

- I'm the best bargain in town. - Yeah, right.

So...

what do we have here?

John Eckart and Jane Styros.

They live near the video store where you first met them.

But, Gray, I'm telling you, there's nothing to worry about here.

- Are they in love? - Made my stomach turn.

Do you want to see a picture of the girl naked? She's a natural redhead.

No, thank you.

No fire in the hole, huh?

So, what's a normal day for them? What do they do?

- Just couple stuff, mostly. - Yeah? What stuff?

- Just what normal couples do. - Well, what do normal couples do?

For instance, what did they do last night? Just for an example.

Last night? Last night?

Last night, John finished work a little later than usual.

He picked out some DVD's. Some French shit, I think.

He went to the hardware store, picked up a new shower curtain.

Then he went grocery shopping. He got home around 7.

It's a small joint.

Studio apartment. Lots of knick-knacks.

Art pieces on the walls. It's kind of a beatnik deal.

Anyway, then he heads into the kitchen...

and it looks like he sneaked up on her.

It was as though they had not seen each other for days. Or weeks.

But, in fact it was 9 hours and 20 minutes.

Then he made her dinner.

What did he make?

Sea bass with a Teriyaki glaze. Brown rice and asparagus.

Did she like it?

What is all this shit? What are all these papers?

This? This is a transcript. Shotgun mike from outside their window.

- You don't fuck around, Yehud. - That's just what 5 grand buys you.

For ten, I can pose as Jane's gynecologist.

No, I'm cool. Thank you. Look, they seem really harmless...

and things have been really strange lately.

- But can I hold onto that? - It's your copy.

- Oh good. Thank you. - All right. I'll see you around.

Yeah.

Gray.

- Everything's going to be fine. - Oh I know. Yeah.

- I'll be at Swoosh if you need me. - Okay.

You're right. I think most of them make those smaller films...

calling cards so they can then make bigger studio films, you know?

I don't think they're doing it for the love of it.

I know, Mia. Yeah, you're right.

In the '70's, kids did it because they had to do it. It's like...

with music, where kids don't even bother to learn to play.

Now, movie cameras are the new guitars.

- Directors are the new rock stars. - Right, right. Yeah.

Here's your check, folks. I just want to say, have a great night.

- You too. - Thank you.

I'm sorry, I just have to tell you guys, I really love both your work.

Hello, darling.

What's all this?

Well, we're always going out or eating take out and I figured...

it would be nice to have a nice homemade dinner at home.

- You made all this? - Can you fucking believe it?

- Wow. Okay. - Have a seat.

How was your day?

Well, it was good. I ran some errands...

and I made dinner.

And, you know...

- How was your day? - Fine.

- Yeah? Work was good? - You know. Same old thing.

Yeah, I hear you. First-time filmmakers can be a doozy.

You never know why they're doing it.

I always thought that...

that those guys... they're making films...

so that they can make big studio ones.

They're not doing it for the love of doing it.

So what's for dinner?

We have a nice sea bass with Teriyaki glaze.

Brown rice.

And then we have something that will make your pee stink.

I'm allergic to sea bass. Remember?

I almost died that time. Ring a bell?

- Does that ring your bell? - No.

Wow. You don't remember making that phone call.

I can play the message for you.

It was about a job, Gray. He wants to make a musical with me.

Well I think that's the biggest crock of bullshit I've ever heard in my life.

Really? What, exactly?

He just wants to do a musical with you?

I was gonna tell you, but I don't know if you've noticed...

you've been a little tense lately.

You're just drunk.

Why don't you just go, get sober, come back and we eat and we talk about it.

Yeah, let's eat the sea bass. Maybe you can choke to death.

You don't talk to me like that. What did I do wrong?

- Hi. - Hi.

Watching static?

I was gonna watch a movie. Do you want to watch a movie?

I had a dream.

Was it a lucid dream?

Yeah. I think I knew I was dreaming.

And that's what you chose to do? I fly if I know I'm dreaming.

Yeah, I'm afraid of heights.

So now this is what you're choosing to do?

Dreaming about dreaming about watching us on television?

Yeah, because I love us.

I love us too.

He just wants an autographed headshot and he'll forget the whole thing.

Now he's just gonna drop the charges?

Yeah.

- You gonna send him one? - I don't know.

I think I want to go to trial on this baby.

Hey, I've got to get home, so...

Yeah. All right, I'll see you.

- Hi, John. - Hey, Gray. How you doing?

It's good to see you again. Hey, are you all right?

I heard about the thing... whatever it was.

- What thing? - I don't know, the incident...

- No, everything's fine. - Just wanted to ask.

Wow. I can't believe it.

- You did it anyway. - I'm sorry, sweetie, I couldn't help it.

- Wow, Jane. You look great. - Did you hear that?

You love it.

What happened to you guys the other night?

You kind of seemed like you were being crushed by the masses in there...

and she didn't feel so well...

I get anxiety attacks at things like that.

I have to take a horse tranquilizer every time I go to one of those things.

Do you want anything? Cause I'm just about to close out my drawer.

I'll give you the employee discount.

Oh yeah. Can I look around for a second? Okay, thanks.

- So... - So?

- You hate it. - No, it's not that I hate it.

- I'm just surprised. - Lie to me. Just pretend you like it.

Okay, I'll lie, then. I love it. I think it's great.

That's better.

You're gonna leave me for her someday, aren't you?

No, I'm not. Come on, I'd never be able to get her phone number.

Jerk!

You're my baby, baby.

- I love you. - I love you.

Do we have to rent a movie today? Can't we go out?

- Well, let's go out and see a movie. - No. You know what I mean.

"Singing in the Rain" is playing.

Come on, please. It's movie day. Please, please, please.

No. Yesterday was movie day. Today is living day.

Who could resist such a blatant act of manipulation?

Did you find anything you want back there?

Hey, do you guys want to go get a drink? Or five?

- Yeah. Sure. - Okay.

Good night, Mr. Gray.

- Where have you been? - Oh just kicking it by Jett's.

Kicking it by Jett's or kicking it with Jett?

Aren't we just a bunch poking in the swill?

- Why are you so happy? - Can't I be happy?

I don't know. Can you?

Somebody had a bad day.

Somebody lost some job to some 19-year-old model.

I should just start sticking my finger down my throat like the rest of them.

Oh God, that movie was horseshit anyway, sweetie.

What?

You're being all supportive, Gray. Is it Christmas?

Sure.

Now, you are in a good mood.

Maybe you're in a good mood because I'm in a bad mood.

Sweetie, you're so beautiful.

- No. - Yes.

- No. - Yes.

I'm your fat old wife.

Gray

I want to dye my hair brown. What do you think?

No color. Just cut it.

- I love this. So beautiful. - You look beautiful.

Hey, you almost done? Come to bed.

No, I haven't even started yet.

I don't know how much longer I can do this. Honestly.

This thing is due on Thursday. I don't have a single idea for it.

I have to work all day tomorrow.

Maybe I just don't have anything left to say.

Of course you do.

What?

Honey, you're just tired.

It was crazy seeing Gray the other night with all those fans, huh?

It's disturbing.

- Yeah, I know, but come on. I mean... - What?

- It would be nice to... - To what?

To have a bunch of frat-brat date rapists mob you every day?

Hey, some of my best friends are date rapists.

No, I'm not talking about the fame and all that, but...

this is bullshit. Working for minimum wage? It sucks.

Working all day surrounded by movies other people made? It sucks.

I can barely even afford this place. The pipes are rusted.

Hey. But yours isn't. That's all I care about.

Just give it time, baby. I mean, we're hardly old folks.

We're as old as we've ever been.

Before I met you, all I thought about was work and success.

But now I swear none of that would mean shit without you.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

Welcome back to Katie's Korner. This show is dedicated...

to people with narcissistic personality disorders.

We're very fortunate to have with us...

a very, very kind decent human being, Steve Johnson...

who happens to have the disorder. Now Dr. Cheryl Fein here...

may have faith...

that something special's gonna happen today in this half hour.

If you are not a religious person...

if you don't believe in God, love can take its place.

But that, too, can become a compulsion.

And you lose faith in that, what have you got? Yourself.

But the key is to cultivate yourself.

Have a strong sense of yourself, but without being self-absorbed.

Only then can your relationships be healthy. Not objects of worship.

I think it might really help you to get out of your head.

To start listening to people.

Really, really listening.

I can see already you have a tendency to get distracted and cut people off.

Are you a religious person?

Not only will listening help you get out of your head...

but you might really learn something about humanity.

Which is much bigger than you or me.

Hey, did you see this? It says Gray Evans and Mia Lang might split up.

That guy is an idiot if he breaks up with her.

- Shit, I'll rock that. - Dude, she's like 30.

You're gonna leave me for her someday.

Oh, come on, I'd never be able to get her phone number.

You fucked around on me. You were drunk.

You cry, you apologize. You'd do it again.

Now how can you expect me to put up with that?

- Because we love each other. - We used to love each other.

When you used to say things like:

"Shana, before I met you, all I thought about was work and success.

But none of that means shit without you".

I'm trying to watch.

Cathy, I can't wait until this picture is finished. No more secrecy.

I'm gonna let Lena know. I'm gonna let everyone know.

Your fans will be bitterly disappointed.

From now on, there's only one fan I'm worried about.

There!

- What did I tell you, Lena? - Thanks, you're a real friend!

- Have you seen this movie? - Parts of it, I think. Thank you.

- You were kissed him! - I was kissing her!

- I happen to be in love with her. - That's ridiculous.

Everybody knows you're in love with me!

I'm gonna go get a sandwich. Do you want anything?

- I'll get it. What do you want? - No, I'll get it. Do you want anything?

- No. Thanks for asking. - I'm going to marry her.

Silly boy. She ain't the marrying type.

She's just trying to get ahead by using you.

I'll put a stop to that. I'm gonna go up and say it right now!

But the picture's already finished.

If this girl weren't in the film, you'll be finished too!

It looks like Gray Evans may finally be settling...

with his may-or-may-not be stalker, Larry Hortense.

Evans clobbered the fan recently at the zoo...

when Evans mistook a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" for a gun.

Evans initially refused to settle, but now the autograph is in the mail...

says the lawyer, and Hortense has dropped the charges.

As you might recall, the heated exchange Gray had with...

wife Mia Lang, which ended when Mia stormed off, flashing 2 magazine...

Oh, man.

I just wanted to be friends.

We can be friends.

Bull. Now that's bull. You're just pretending.

That's what you do for a living, isn't it?

- You've done this. - Lf you shoot me, you've done this.

I'm not gonna shoot you. Why would I shoot you? I love you.

What do you want?

We're going to lunch now, okay? You and I.

We'll hash it out, as they say. Okay? Pals.

Go fuck yourself!

There's too many of us.

Hortense could not be reached for comment today...

as he's currently on a round-the-world cruise with his mother.

In the studio we have an expert on celebrity stalking...

You know, I really think we can help each other.

There are bound to be casualties borne out of this bullshit scene...

that's swept me up...

and I don't want to be the next victim.

And I feel like you come from a pure place...

and I just want to be a part of something that's meaningful.

I think we should write something together...

or we should work on something together.

- Are you serious? - Oh, shit. Wait.

Hello? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm having a fucking drink.

Look, Gray, you know that I love what you do.

So are you serious about this?

I'm dead fucking serious. This is about grass roots.

This is about fucking the system with the system.

Do you know what I'm saying?

This is about telling our story.

Yes. Yeah. Cheers.

- Can you hand me that pen? - Are you talking to me?

- You're the only one here. - I know, how can you stand it?

What the hell has gotten in to you?

I don't know. I don't enjoy spending all my time with another couple.

What?

Isn't that what you and Gray are? A couple?

That's funny. I was about to ask you the same thing.

I'm not having sex with your boyfriend.

I don't like this... I'm tired!

Are you apologizing without apologizing?

Gray! Over here!

You all set?

Yeah. I have to be at the gallery at 9 to start setting up.

- You know I love you, right? - Yeah. I love you too.

I think the one fucking place someone could get a little peace and quiet...

would be half way up someone's ass.

We gonna film that too.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

Of course it's not much...

This is Jane. Please leave a message.

Jane? Are you screening? It's Nick. I'm not wearing any pants.

Hi... are you there?

After spending the last 24 hours beating myself up...

I don't know how you...

you have to take some fucking responsibility, okay?

It's pretty interesting that you'd be so offended by the word "pathological".

Usually people don't get offended by things that don't have some relevance.

Okay, yeah. Fucking machine!

Hi, Gray. It's Shana. I was thinking about what you said...

about how people just grow out of people sometimes.

That didn't make me feel so good.

But I wanted you to know that I really hope you do grow.

Even if it's without me. And maybe you're right.

Maybe with some time apart, we can both grow.

Well, if you ever get tired of out with your idols...

Hey, Briannon. This is Ellen calling.

I don't know, I don't usually return phone calls from strangers, but...

So what do you think?

Well, remind me to never call you pathological.

No, I like it, it's good. It's upsetting, but I like upsetting.

Why upsetting?

I don't know. I just feel like there's so much misery in...

The lives on my estranged lovers.

Yeah. I guess.

- What does John think about all this? - John is very supportive.

- You say that like it's a bad thing. - No. No, it's a good thing.

Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" episode where the guy has...

has a stopwatch and he can stop time?

Yeah, the one where he freezes everybody and robs banks?

- Yeah. - What made you think of that?

Well, I'm a little tipsy, for one thing.

Your piece sort of reminds me of that. Like it sort of freezes everything.

And it's kind of like movies.

You can always go back to a film, you know, because it never changes.

But you remember what happened to that guy in "The Twilight Zone"?

He froze everything, and then his stopwatch broke.

Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" episode...

where the guy has a stopwatch and he can stop time?

Yeah, the one where he freezes everybody and robs banks?

Yeah.

- What made you think of that? - I'm a little tipsy, for one thing.

But your piece sort of reminds me of that. Like it sort of freezes everything.

But you remember what happened to that guy in "The Twilight Zone"?

He froze everything, and then his stopwatch broke.

Hey, it's Mia. Are you still at Jett's? Are you still writing?

Yeah. Yeah, no.

I'm sorry. It's gonna be late tonight. Are you just gonna go to bed?

It's 4 in the morning. I've got to get up early.

Bye.

Gray... Gray...

Wait. Am I doing it right? Is it too raspy?

I'm so sorry...

Gray.

I don't want to talk about that. Just get your shit and let's go.

- What the hell has happened to you? - What's happened to me?

What-the-fuck-has happened to you?!

When did you become such a goddamn flirt?

When did you become Jake LaMotta?

One second you're complaining about how much time...

we're spending on Gray and then the next, it's:

"Gray this, Gray that...

Gray and I have so much in common".

I did nothing, nothing to warrant this. You men are all jealous pigs!

Thank God you're not generalizing.

Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. You're a jealous pig. Is that better?

Oh, Christ. I put up with so much shit from you and I never complain.

Maybe if you had a fucking backbone...

That's right!

That makes me the asshole for being supportive?

For helping you collect those goddamn tapes for you to parade your life...

Then don't do it! Fuck!

You created this situation. This is what you wanted.

You had me exactly where you want me.

At least I've ever had something to show for my misery. Have you?

When did you become such a bitch?

When you lost all your self-esteem and became a star-fucker.

You became so excited by the idea of hanging out with your hero...

that it didn't even occur to you that he was flirting with me.

And when you did finally notice, it didn't even dawn on you...

that I wouldn't cheat on you because I actually love you.

- I love you, I love you. - Even though you're in love with...

I'm not in love with Gray fucking Evans!

Then why, John why do we see him almost every day?

Doesn't it strike you as a little strange...

that we don't know anything about this guy?

You guys are both bloodsuckers.

He hates his life and you obviously don't have one.

- Fuck you, Jane! - What did you say to me?

You never said that to me before.

That's the great thing about conversations like these, I guess.

You get to see the other one as they really are.

I'm a slut. And you're a jealous prick.

Let's go. We're late.

Can you put on a happy face for a couple of hours...

or are we gonna mortify ourselves?

I think I can manage.

One last time.

- Well, that was fun. - Well, I had fun.

Sylvia Plath would have had fun...

with the amount of vodka you had to drink tonight.

Oh, good one. A hip literary reference and everything.

I was gonna compare you to a famous conceptual artist...

but there just aren't any.

Do you want to talk about this tonight?

- What's there to talk about? - What are you saying?

What are you saying?

- Gray? - Gray.

Gray, you scared me half to death.

- Gray, what are you doing? - Gray! Gray! Stop it!

Stop!

It's okay.

Could you shut up?

Shut up. Shut up!

What, you're such a big time singer? You'll be a big time singer?

Well, you can't sing now, motherfucker!

I'm really sad right now.

I'm cold.

Hi, I'm afraid I've done something terrible.

My name is John Eckart. I live at 611 Rialto Street.

I've kidnapped Gray Evans. Yeah, the actor.

And I have a gun and I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and I love you.

Gray?

What is it that you want?

You want to be with me?

Is that it?

No, no, no.

This is not about sex. Really. No.

Then what's it about, Gray?

Well...

we don't make love anymore.

Why do you think?

I don't know.

Maybe...

maybe because you...

I can't even say it. Maybe because you don't love me anymore.

- I don't know you anymore. - How can you say that?

How can you say that?

It's me. I'm right here.

Do you love me?

God, that's bullshit. That's bullshit.

- I'm so sorry. - Stop it. Stop apologizing.

And stop acting like an innocent baby. You fucked around on me.

You're a drunk. You cry and you apologize, and you'd do it again.

How can you expect me to put up with that?

How?

Because we love each other.

We used to love each other.

When you used to say things like:

"Shana, before I met you, all I cared about was work and success.

But I swear, none of that means shit without you".

Remember that? One movie, Gray.

You star in one movie and you join the ranks.

You're your own worst nightmare.

You're just like everyone else.

You're obvious.

You get a little taste of success and...

John Eckart, this is the police department! We've received your call!

We're here to help you!

We promise you, no harm will come to you!

Jesus, that's a little much for a little argument. Don't you think?

I always said you were a 4-alarm fire.

It's over, Gray.

John, pick up the phone!

One of your boyfriends? I'm kidding. I shouldn't have said that. Sorry.

You have to let me go.

- What? - You have to let me go.

No.

We have a cut. Gray, was that good for you?

- It's Mia Lang. Mr. Evan's wife. - He's my husband!

Who are you? Who's in charge here?

- John Eckart! - That's not him.

Drop the weapon!

John, drop the gun!

Gray! Gray!

- Gray! - John! Put the gun down!

- Drop the weapon! - How about a smile, Gray?

- Smile! - Over here!

...was gunned down by police late last night...

when they mistook him for his own kidnapper...

an aspiring filmmaker whose friendship with Evans...

apparently became a fatal obsession.

Gray Evans, who first made a splash only a few years ago...

promised to be one of the screen's brightest stars.

My girl was the only girl.

We used to watch the sunset together.

She used to call it "magic hour".

I'm so sorry, Shana, baby

I wanted to do laundry with you

That's all right, little man

How'd you do?

Well, it was good, but I know

I shouldn't get too riled

You're cute when you're riled

How about some food?

See, that's why I'm really excited

Cause I bought these 2 big heads of iceberg

Does someone want his favorite salad?

Somebody maybe might

Because my baby needs

To lose a few

- I missed you all day - I missed you more

Let's never spend more than 4 hours apart, what do you say?

I say okay

Did you get some good stuff today?

The sky was so crazy blue

Hey, good looking, let me get a shot of you

- Perfect. - Come on.

You're gonna leave me for her someday, aren't you?

Done by (c) dCd / July 2017