Original subtitles

A-Bomb: Abomination, smashed!

Crashers, smashed!

Ronan, smashed!

Leader, smashed!

That's right, Hulksters, we're on a hot streak.

Now, how 'bout showin' your favorite Smashers some love?

And clicking us some "thumbs ups."

Fifty Earth-saving adventures and we only get seven thumbs ups?

I don't get it, people.

How has this webcast not yet proven to you that we are awesome?

Well, that's it! I have had it!

I'm done.

This show is over,

finito , off the air, canceled!

Huh. It's never done that before.

Hey! I got a runaway camera!

Where are you going?

What's going on here?

The Leader: Isn't it obvious?

I've taken remote control of your cameras.

How'd you hack Rick's cameras from inside a S.H.I.E.L.D. prison cell?

I've had control of them for months now.

And the blue bumbler never would have noticed

if he didn't try to shut them off.

-Forget how. -Hey!

The real question is why?

Maybe you just wanna see more adventures of us kicking your butt.

Not quite.

I want everyone to see what's going to happen next.

(rumbling)

She-Hulk: You want everyone to see a solar eclipse? A-Bomb:

Of course! It's diabolical!

You know you're not supposed to stare directly into those.

Hulk: That's no eclipse! That's a ship!

I am the Supreme Intelligence of the Kree Empire.

The monster known as The Hulk has wrongfully imprisoned our citizen,

the one called Ronan the Accuser.

Ronan will be freed, and your entire world shall be punished

for The Hulk's crime.

And... scene.

(laughing)

(growls)

(theme music)

Kree soldier 1: Ronan's location identified.

Engage his captors without mercy.

pilot: S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters is under attack.

All agents, exo-threat incoming.

Exo-threat incoming.

SHIELD soldier 1: Annihilate their defenses!

SHIELD soldier 2: Lock and load, rookie.

Watch out!

Kree soldier 2: The Accuser is within. Liberate him!

SHIELD soldier 3: There's too many of 'em!

-Watch our flank! -SHIELD soldier 4: They're behind us!

SHIELD soldier 1: Incoming!

Nick Fury: All S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel, defend the perimeter.

We will not release the prisoner under any circumstances.

You heard him, Smashers. Move!

(all grunting)

Jen, we need air cover.

Red, Skaar, create a perimeter.

A-Bomb, you and me will secure Ronan. Go!

Red Hulk: Look who just showed up. Mr. Hood Ornament.

Skaar: Ooh, Hammer Man here, too.

Hulk: Hey, Cap!

Hulk! We could really use our "sledgehammer" here.

Actually, I got a battle plan...

Iron Man: Cap, secure Ronan. Thor, create a perimeter.

I'll handle air support.

Hulk... Uh, you know,

smash!

But my team is already in place.

You heard him, Hulk, move!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You gonna take that crud from Goldilocks, Greenie?

Yeah, Hulk boss!

Plus, we got here first.

So you should be giving the orders!

Hulk: Look, it's complicated with my other team.

Wait, Hulk on one... Two teams?

Yeah, he doesn't run with the Avengers as much

since the Smashers hooked up.

Now, I see why.

Okay, this is kind of confusing.

On the Smashers, I give the orders.

But on the Avengers, I take 'em.

Takin' orders from Cap, I get. But Stark?

I eat spoiled, rich brats like him for breakfast.

Well, you know, I mean, not literally, but he's...

But he's a jerk, that's what I'm sayin'.

Okay, is it just me,

or do the Avengers not really get the big guy?

(beeping)

automated voice: Security door deactivated.

Kree soldier 2: My lord.

These foolish Earthlings are about to learn a terrible lesson.

Never underestimate the Kree.

The Leader: Aren't we forgetting something?

Your former partner?

You...

I know we've had misunderstandings in the past,

but we share enemies.

Earth's champions are no match for the might of the Kree.

Earth's mightiest heroes

have not allowed Earth to be conquered before.

They have an Asgardian, who wields a hammer of his own.

(Ronan grunts)

(The Leader chuckling)

Asgardian, you say?

Very well, Leader.

Lead me to my weapon.

(snickers)

Watch your litterin', Shellhead!

Thor: Stand aside, Red Hulk.

This battlefield belongs to the Avengers.

(thunder crashes)

Hey! We're smashin' here.

Iron Man: Appreciate the assist, Ms. Green.

But next time, phone first.

I'll even give you my private number.

Flattered, but you might want to focus less

on your social calendar,

and more on the Kree Accuser.

Hulk: She's right, Stark. Ronan's out of his cage.

Nick Fury: Freeze, Ronan!

Drop your weapon now!

And why would I do that?

Leave them, Ronan. We need to hasten our escape.

A Kree does not run from a fight.

Perhaps, but a superior strategist knows when to avoid one.

-(yells) -(Cap and Fury groaning)

-Iron Man: Cap! -Fury!

The Leader: Well done.

Thanks for the save, guys, but we're losing Ronan.

Don't worry your star-spangled head off, Cap.

Shulkie's already on it.

Iron Man: Kudos on the initiative, Jen, but let the Avengers handle this one.

Duly noted.

But I only take orders from Hulk.

Hulk, tell your cousin to stand down.

Hey, nobody orders the big guy around like that.

Blue Ogre would back up those words with action?

Enough! You heard Shellhead.

Let the Avengers handle this.

(all grunting)

Fine.

Iron Man: Last time I checked, you were still an Avenger.

You ready to smash with us, or what?

You know, there's a lot more to the big Green Guy

than just smashing.

Verily! There is great anger, foul odors, and loud...

What is the word? Ah, yes, belching.

What Thor means is that Hulk contributes

to the Avengers in his own unique way.

Yeah, as a punch line.

Now Hulk know how Skaar feel.

Guess I am a little different with the Avengers

than I am with the Smashers.

I'm angrier, kinda uptight around them.

Wonder why...

You guys stay here and mop up the stragglers.

Me and the Avengers will go deal with Ronan.

Okay, fine.

But don't let 'em boss you around.

The Kree are indebted to you for your assistance, Leader.

With your knowledge of Earth's super-powered beings,

there might even be a minor position for you

within the Kree power structure.

I only live to serve.

Then you will share your knowledge with the Kree Supreme Intelligence.

Ooh. I like the name.

(alarm blaring)

Ronan: We're under attack!

The Earthlings will suffer for their insolence.

Iron Man: Thor, hammer time! Focus on Ronan!

Thor: With pleasure. (grunts)

-(thudding) -(Kree soldiers groan)

Your Kree weapon will not withstand the might of Mjolnir!

This weapon has toppled empires, Asgardian.

(Thor grunting)

Hulk: Thor's down! We're wasting our time here!

Ronan's just the muscle.

The Supreme Intelligence is the brains of the Kree.

First thing's first.

Take down the muscle and the brains will follow.

(Kree soldiers groaning)

You don't understand. I've battled these guys before.

Will you just stick to what you're good at?

Getting mad and smashing.

The only one I'm mad at is you!

(grunting)

You battle very little for one who calls himself "Leader."

I choose to lead through strategy.

Your best strategy is to keep the Avengers divided.

Iron Man: Hulk, what are you doing?

They appear to be doing a fine job of it themselves.

Ronan: Which will buy time for my reinforcements.

(Kree soldiers grunting)

Get your head on straight, soldier.

No one tells Hulk what to do!

Iron Man: No one except the leader of this team,

and that's me.

Less chatter and more glorious battle.

Iron Man: Avengers, assemble. Let's take out those... whatever they are.

No, wait. Wait! Those are Kree Uni-Beams!

Even my team couldn't handle them.

(all groaning)

Ronan: Your combined Avenger might is no match for Kree military might.

Take them out.

(all groaning)

Iron Man: Hulk, smash us free, now!

(grunts) Smashing won't work against the Kree Uni-Beams.

Trust me, I've tried.

We've gotta do something.

(grunts) Will you listen to me?

That's it. Get angry.

You don't get it! (grunting)

(all thud)

Red Hulk: We ran out of Kree to smash on Earth,

so we came up here to smash some more!

'Cause apparently smashing's all we're good for.

Hulk: Well, here comes some more tanks.

A-Bomb, Jen, Smashball Special.

-(She-Hulk grunts) -A-Bomb: Boom, boom, ka-bam!

Red, Skaar, slash and burn.

(yelling)

Nice smashing, Hulks.

It is like having five additional Mjolnirs at our disposal.

We're not just hammers!

It was a compliment, brute. You should be flattered.

Yeah? And you should be flattened.

(Red Hulk growls)

Iron Man: Everyone just stand down.

In case you haven't noticed, Ronan and Leader got away.

Hulk: Will you forget them?

We need to go after the Supreme Intelligence.

We know you've gotten used to leading your own team,

but the Avengers are built for this,

and we need to work as one.

Then today, I'm not an Avenger.

I'm an Agent of S.M.A.S.H.

(grunts)

I get it now, when I'm with the Avengers,

I'm at work. I have a job...

Get angry, smash stuff.

But when I'm with the Smashers, I have a family.

So now what, big guy?

Run around, make some noise. Break stuff.

Seriously? More smashing?

But this time it has a purpose.

As a distraction while I track down the Supreme Intelligence.

Well, what are you waitin' for?

Hoorah! (laughs)

SUPREME INTELLIGENCE: So-called "Leader,"

your name alone does not grant you the right

to intrude upon my private chamber.

Surely a being of your vast,

dare I say, "supreme" intelligence

can recognize the value of aligning oneself

with an intellectual equal.

Your arrogance is exceeded only by your extreme self-delusion.

(rumbling)

Well, what do you know?

Two big brains for the price of one.

Servitors!

(Hulk yelling)

(groaning)

(yelps)

Am I to understand that you consider your intellect equal

to that of the collective knowledge and wisdom of the entire Kree race?

Try me.

I believe I shall.

(The Leader yells)

Slightly above average knowledge base.

Some useful to the Kree.

Supreme Intelligence: Earth is clearly a planet of monsters,

yet able to withstand the most powerful threats of the cosmos.

Soon, Earth will become a threat to the Kree.

It must be destroyed.

(Hulk groaning)

(rumbling)

SUPREME INTELLIGENCE: Ah, your monstrous comrades.

She-Hulk: Had a feeling you were in trouble, cuz.

Plus, we ran out of things to smash.

Again.

(grunting)

A-Bomb: A-Bomb's away!

(laughing) Yeah!

Red Hulk: And that's all she wrote! (chuckles)

Thanks, guys.

Nice to know I can always count on family.

Now, let's take down the brains, finally.

Look soft and squishy.

Fun to punch.

(all yelling, groaning)

You monsters severely underestimate the power of the mind.

We shall re-arm and destroy the Earthlings.

Not if we destroy your weapons first.

Let's see how tough you blue boys are in hand-to-hand combat.

(grunting)

You seek a rematch, thunder god?

A short one, I assure you.

(both yelling)

(grunts)

Cap: Take my advice, Ronan.

Stay down.

Glorious victory belongs to the Avengers this day.

Iron Man: And we didn't even need our "smasher" to do it.

(thunder crackling)

Iron Man: What just happened?

I tried to tell ya. The brain is the brains.

Ronan: Earth's mightiest heroes and fiercest monsters

are now all gathered,

helpless to defend their planet.

Your home world will finally pay for your impudence and be destroyed!

(groans)

SUPREME INTELLIGENCE: In due time, Ronan.

The resilience of these creatures intrigues me.

I must first glean Earth's collective knowledge.

Which I will achieve by remotely absorbing every mind on their planet.

(growls)

Initiating mass cerebral transfer protocols.

Now, I will absorb the minds of all humanity.

(people screaming)

Hulk: First, you gotta get through me!

Iron Man: Hulk, wait! You were right.

We have to fight smarter, not harder.

I still have control of my armor.

With a little creative programming, I can send out an ultrasonic tone.

(humming)

(Supreme Intelligence yelps)

Hulk: It worked! Good job, Tony.

I got the machine, you guys handle the brain!

Iron Man: Got any ideas how?

Just one, smash!

Iron Man: You heard the Hulk.

Hit big and squishy with everything you got.

Ronan is mine!

(grunts)

So how you gonna get a rampaging Hulk to follow orders now?

Iron Man: Put him in charge, I guess.

Take that, smart guy. Yeah!

Iron Man: Uh-oh.

You monsters are no match for my intellect.

I can predict all your attacks,

thanks to the tactics I absorbed from The Leader's mind.

(all groaning)

Let them take on big brain,

I gotta figure out a way to stop this thing

before everyone on Earth is sucked dry.

Hulk: There's gotta be a way to take it out.

Iron Man: Keep smashing! Stay together.

Zip it, Stark. I only take orders from Greenie.

Since when?

Tony, never mind the orders, it's just causing more chaos.

Iron Man: Maybe chaos is just what we need to confuse the big brain.

Listen up, it's every Hulk and Avenger for himself!

Nobody follow my orders, including this one.

(lasers zapping)

Sounds crazy, Stark! But I'll bring down the house!

Iron Man: I like it!

-Then let chaos reign! -(electricity crackling)

This attack makes no rational sense.

It is too random, too chaotic.

Cap: This goes against everything I know about military strategy.

My logic dictates I must ignore the chaos

and focus on the mind-absorption process.

I got your process right here.

Iron Man: Hulk! Stand down!

You don't know what that thing will do to you.

(scoffs) Why'd you tell him not to?

You know he'll just do the opposite.

(grunting) Everyone, stay back.

Doesn't matter whether you're a Smasher or an Avenger,

givin' orders or taking 'em.

End of the day, both gigs are about sacrifice.

And teamwork.

Sometimes I forget I got good backup either way.

Hulk: Back off, I know what I'm doing.

Iron Man: So do I, Hulk.

I've located the energy cells that power that thing.

Everyone concentrate your attacks right here.

Foolish Earthlings!

You would toy with things beyond your comprehension?

(Hulk screaming)

Once again, victory belongs to the Avengers...

and the Smashers.

We just schooled the Kree Empire!

Can I get a boo-yah?

Uh, where Hulk?

disembodied voice: Smash...

She-Hulk: I could've sworn that sounded like...

Oh, no, no! Big guy, you can't be...

(growling)

Supreme Intelligence smash!

(all grunting)

Oh, crud. Greenie really is in there.

Iron Man: Hulk's been absorbed by the Supreme Intelligence.

Hulk now squishy big brain?

No!

The gamma monster is now one with the Kree Supreme Intelligence!

And every mind on your planet will soon join him!

So, how do we stop the Supreme Intelligence...

A-Bomb: Without finishing off the Hulk, too?

(closing theme music)