Original subtitles

Heya, Hulkees. You're logging on just in time

for Team Green's latest webcast.

Once again, we are in hot pursuit

of our evil nemesis, The Leader.

Seems old Dynamo Dome just escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody,

and was last seen heading for the Latverian Embassy,

the New York home of Doctor Doom.

Hulk: Knock, knock, Doom! (grunts)

Doombot: Halt, intruders.

None may enter while the Master is away!

Don't be so antisocial!

(crashing)

Wait. If Doom's not home, how did The Leader get by these creeps?

I didn't!

I simply waited outside until you dunderheads

cleared a path for me. (laughing)

He's trespassing here, same as us!

Get him!

The Leader: Ah, perfect.

-(laughing) -(crashing)

(grunts) You're outta time, Leader!

Quite the contrary, oaf!

I learned Doom was working on a belt

that can create a temporal field.

A portable time machine, if you will.

-(growls) -Well, that can't be good.

The Leader: It is for me.

I'll travel back through time and rewrite history so thoroughly

that none of you Hulks will have ever existed.

Your trip is canceled!

You damaged the belt, monster.

But time is still on my side.

See you again... Never. (laughing)

Now what?

We just sit around until Big Brain does something in the past

that wipes us out of the present?

She-Hulk: Look at that second belt!

Uh...

Hulk: Hmm. What's it doin'?

It's charging up, like Leader's.

It must be synched up to his.

Then I've still got time!

Cuz, wait! We're going with you.

No. I need all of you here to fix things if I fail.

Look. If I don't make it back...

Red Hulk: So... I get your room, right?

(screaming)

(screaming continues)

(crashes)

Where... When am I?

Hmm, little squawking lizards...

(grunts) Jungles, volcanoes...

(pterodactyl squawking)

-(squawking continues) -(grunts)

And dinosaurs!

(theme music)

(pterodactyl squawks)

(grunts) Wasting your time!

-I'm too tough to chew! -(pterodactyl squawks)

Oh, I get it.

You wanna soften me up in that lava first, don't ya?

Well, forget it!

-(squawks) -(grunts)

Alley-oop!

Sorry about the belly ache.

Now, pull up, Ptery!

Oh, you're under some kind of mind control.

And since when did dinosaurs march in single file?

-Take me down there, Ptery! -(squawks)

Bet ya this is Leader's handiwork.

But how does controlling dinosaurs in the past

change the future?

Okay, just so we're all clear,

Hulk took one of Doc Doom's time belts

and followed Leader into the past,

leaving us to clean up any messes that happen in the future.

I mean now. That... That's right.

Isn't it?

So what could the Leader do anyway?

What's past is past, right?

Not exactly.

If Hulk doesn't stop him,

whatever Leader changes in the past could go poof in the present.

Whoa, what was that?

Did Skaar go poof?

No, no. Nothing's changed.

(chuckles) That's a relief.

Physics ain't really my thing,

but if we're close enough to ground zero when the time switch happens,

it might not affect us the same way as everyplace else.

(roaring)

A-Bomb: Oh, no.

Can't wait to see what changed!

Everything looks the same.

(sniffing) World smell big and stinky, like Devil Boy!

And there's why!

One guess where The Leader went first.

She-Hulk: The dinosaur era.

He must have changed things so dinosaurs ruled the Earth,

instead of humans!

J. Jonah Jameasaurus here, with proof that Spider-Raptor

is wrecking New Roar City.

Here he is,

leading police on another rampage through Midtown.

Man, the more things change, the more they stay the same!

I'm almost afraid to ask, why are there no humans?

There's one! I think.

Too slow, big fat lizards! You'll never catch Moon-Boy!

After him! Capture the last human for the glory of our king!

(grunting) Let Moon-Boy go!

Inform His Majesty we have a capture.

-(Moon-Boy pants) Free Moon-Boy! -Simmer down, shorty.

All we're gonna do is reunite you with your hairy little family.

Before we exterminate the lot of you! (laughing)

(Moon-Boy whimpers)

Loyal subjects.

Today, the edict of King Sauron has been fulfilled!

And the last human has been captured!

Dinosaurs, rejoice!

I don't know what all the fuss is about. Humans are harmless.

You heard His Majesty. Rejoice!

-Hooray! Down with humans! -(overlapping dialogue)

(dinosaurs roaring)

Wait. In this reality, Sauron is King?

Yeah, he's bad. But I really hate that military lizard.

And that's another medal for yours truly,

General Thunder Lizard Rossasaurus!

(chuckles) No one's perfect.

I'm gonna go spring the kid!

-(whimpering) -(shushes) I'm a friend.

-Dinosaur! -Wait! No!

-I'm a... -Rossasaurus: A human?

Take the brat to King Sauron!

I'll deal with this beast.

Skaar slash mean dinosaur!

Another one?

(both grunting)

Red Hulk: That's right, big shot.

Humans are just crawling out of the woodwork.

(sighs) You are stronger than most humans.

But you're still just insects!

And insects get exterminated!

-(clattering) -Rossasaurus: What? (coughing)

SKAAR: Devil Boy?

Come with me, if you want to live.

A smart Devil Dinosaur?

Por favor, call me El Diablo.

He's not shooting at us, so he must be on our side.

Let's follow him!

She-Hulk: Okay, but why is he wearing a monocle?

Red Hulk: What is Greenie doing back there in the past, anyway?

(pterodactyl squawking)

(grunting)

(pterodactyl squawking)

The Leader: We don't have all day, you scaled imbeciles!

Raise that structure!

Leader's here only five minutes,

and he's already making statues of himself.

Straighten the obelisk!

It must be perfectly centered

for my brainwaves to reach all of you monsters.

Hulk: Not a statue, a transmitter.

Leader's upping their brain power just enough to do his bidding.

The Leader: Despite the Hulk's attack, the time belt is still functional.

Although from this point, I can only move forward in time.

No matter. If I've done my job properly here,

I'll return to a hope-free future that I control.

Uh, hey!

(snarling)

(grunts) Let go, you little beast!

(whimpering)

(Hulk grunts)

Got you, little guy!

Whoa. You've suddenly gone from T-Rex to T-Red.

(whining)

The Leader: How like you, Hulk.

So willing to sacrifice yourself for a creature just as mindless!

Destroy him!

(roaring)

(baby dinosaur whimpers)

Hulk: We're outta here.

Brace yourself, Junior.

Regroup! Surround him!

Hulk: Smart mind-control dinosaurs. Great.

(dinosaurs roar)

Leader, you're messing with history and nature!

Making these dinos into something they're not!

All that matters is that they serve me and destroy you!

That is their new destiny.

-Attack! -(roars)

(dinosaurs groaning)

(grunts)

-Welcome back. -(baby dinosaur chitters)

Box him in! Beat him like a beast!

(dinosaurs roaring)

(Hulk groaning)

Leader's making them work together.

Better get you out of here.

(dinosaurs roaring)

(roaring continues)

That's it, outthink him.

Prove yourself worthy of my leadership.

Red Hulk: Anyone besides me think this is a real bad idea?

Skaar: Red, stop growling. Follow Devil. Devil smart now.

She-Hulk: Yeah. I'm with Red. Where are you taking us?

To the only other human I've ever seen who looks like you.

Whoa!

The Leader?

Skaar: Ha-ha!

-(knocks) -Leader in cell again.

You know this human?

A-Bomb: Yeah. And take it from us, you'd prefer him trapped in amber.

Most dinos have been told humans are savage, primitive pigs.

But many open-minded Saurians believe we can live together in peace.

Spider-Raptor: Looks like we won't get the chance.

A-Bomb: It's that Spidey Raptor!

Whoa! Easy.

I'm one of the dino heroes who's fighting for humans.

Or I was, until Jerky McBeakface captured them all.

Take a good, long, last look, my dino subjects!

Soon, what's left of the human race will be extinct!

What do you think of that, you beasts?

Any last words?

Yes, your Highness.

-(grunts) -(screaming)

Humans forever!

That furry imp has spirit!

If those are the last humans,

then something really bad must have happened in the past!

Hulk fail?

Well, Leader ended up a paperweight,

so I'm gonna say, yeah.

We can't worry about that now.

What matters is saving the last humans.

We agree. But King Sauron is too powerful.

Even with my spider powers,

I could never scale Sauron Tower undetected.

A fine pair of Saurian sad sacks you are!

You wanna change the way dino-people think,

we've gotta take action!

The angry red human has a point.

Of course I do!

No human could put a plan into action better than yours truly.

Now here's what we'll do.

(thrilling music)

(dinosaurs roaring)

Hulk: Whoa, not that way!

(panting)

They're trying to box us in!

Hulk: Your big pals are getting smarter.

But I know how to beat 'em.

(dinosaurs roaring)

(Hulk grunting)

You're finished, Hulk!

There's nowhere you can leap that I can't follow.

(crashes)

Finish the Hulk! Now! Obey me!

Go! Run for it!

(Hulk groans, grunts)

(yells) What is this? Tar?

Yes, Hulk.

The more you struggle, the faster you sink to your doom.

(grunts) No! No!

(whimpering)

(grunts, groaning)

Don't despair, Hulk.

Perhaps I'll dig up your fossilized remains

in 65 million years!

Hulk: You dinosaurs, listen.

I only wanted to help you.

This human, who calls himself "Leader,"

is using you as slaves to do his dirty work.

The smarter you become, the more he'll punish you

if you ever disobey him.

Punish us?

Like Leader punish you?

You'll get worse, believe me.

He only made you smarter so you could carry out his orders.

You think they'll listen to you?

I am their Master. I gave them minds!

dinosaur 1: Leader not good.

This leader bad.

-Right. Bad. -Yeah.

If you help free me, I'll help you get rid of him.

The Leader: Pay no attention to that creature!

Back to work!

(roaring)

-Bad. He is bad. -Bad. He...

-(pterodactyl shrieks) -(The Leader screaming)

(grunting)

Never again! No more shall we be punished.

Now we punish The Leader,

and take all Leader brain power!

Dinosaurs shall rule!

(dinosaurs snarling)

dinosaurs: Dinosaurs forever!

(The Leader gasps) Unhand me!

No! You can't do this!

Hulk! Don't just sink there, save us!

Yeah. Should've thought of that before you dunked me in the goo.

(baby dinosaur snarls)

(whimpers) Save friend.

(grunts)

Hulk: Smart little devil.

It's okay. I got this.

Thanks, pal. But we have a big mess to clean up.

And unfortunately, that means rescuing The Leader.

Sauron: Good evening, dinosaurs everywhere.

King Sauron presents

the extinction of humankind!

(crowd cheering)

Sauron: Who will be the first to meet their gruesome demise?

(humans screaming)

Let Moon-Boy go! (whimpers)

(chuckles) The furry brat!

(grunting)

Give a warm welcome to tonight's hungry guest crawlers.

(crowd gasps)

(groans)

Perfect!

(screaming)

(glass shattering)

Sauron: Spider-Raptor!

Annihilating humans on national TV?

Sorry, Kingie. That's not family-appropriate viewing!

I thought you or some other human-loving menace

might try to save these beasts.

So, I've had General Rossasaurus ready to attack!

Get him!

(grunting)

A Taser net?

Yeah. I'm full of surprises.

El Diablo: So am I!

(laughs)

El Diablo! And more humans?

Now we're doing the exterminating, you fatheaded fossils!

It can't be!

-Believe it, you poser. -(thwacks)

(groans)

I'll serve 'em up for you, Jen!

(all groan)

I'll take it from here!

-(grunting) -(thwacking)

(cage crashing)

We are free. Run!

Monkey-Boy free!

You traitor!

How dare you help those miserable humans!

I fight for all life, tyrant.

Even human ones.

Can it be?

One dinosaur Moon-Boy can finally call friend?

Then you fight no more!

(grunts)

-(snarling) -Farewell, El Diablo!

(Sauron screams)

(grunts)

(Sauron screaming) Get 'em off! No!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Now that's quality entertainment.

You, little one, have courage.

Moon-Boy like Big Red too!

A-Bomb: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(Skaar grunts)

The Leader: You can't do this! I beg you!

Silence! Once this hardens, you will never escape!

Your brain power will be ours, forever!

(Hulk roars)

-(thwacks) -(Sauron screams)

Sorry, if you lizards want to evolve,

you'll have to do it the old-fashioned way.

Sauron: You've learned how he fights!

Team up and destroy him!

Smash them, friend!

Hulk: They'll expect that.

You taught me something smarter, little guy!

-(grunts) -(crashing)

-dinosaur 2: Run away! -Suaron: Ah! No.

No!

(dinosaurs roaring)

Dinos not ready for this.

No! (groans)

(screeches)

You've taught me a painful lesson, Hulk.

I can gain nothing from changing a creature's nature.

Is that your way of saying you're sorry?

No, it's my way of saying I'll have a more inventive way

of finishing you when next we meet.

(beeps)

(grunts) Oh, no you don't!

I should go after him right now.

Hulk: While everything's back to normal. Sorta.

(PURRING)

I know there's a big disaster comin' that'll wipe out all you guys.

So I'm gonna make sure some of you survive.

(whistles) Follow me!

The old persecution of humans by dinosaurs is at an end.

From now on, both species will share the planet in peace.

-dinosaur 3: Hooray! Yeah! About time! -(crowd cheering)

dinosaur 4: I always kinda liked those little guys!

Never thought I'd say it,

the Devil makes a pretty decent world leader.

Whoa.

What's going on?

A-Bomb: We're fading out of the dino future!

Hulk must have reset our timeline.

But where Hulk now?

I think you mean "when."

(pterodactyl squawks)

Here it is, the Savage Land.

Everything a dinosaur needs to be a dinosaur.

-That goes for you too, little pal. -(purring)

Back to being a regular little dino, huh?

Well, that's the way it's gotta be.

And now I've got to make up for lost time.

Watch out, Leader. I'm comin' for ya.

-(beeps) - Hulk out.

(closing theme music)