Original subtitles

(heroic music)

Hulk: Let's get 'em, Smashers.

Gamma, gamma, hey, Hulk Nation.

We are free once more.

We've been cleared of our crimes by S.H.I.E.L.D.

and are doing what we do best, smashing!

A-Bomb: At the moment, we're smashing through Leader's drones

so we can bring him to justice for framing us.

Oh, and for trying to destroy the world

- like 10 billion times. -(growling)

Hulk: He's here this time. I know it.

She-Hulk: How do we know this isn't just another

one of his abandoned lairs?

Call it a hunch.

Frustrating, isn't it,

how I always manage to stay

one step ahead of you lumbering behemoths?

-(grunts) -(crashing)

Haven't you monsters learned by now

that your uncontrollable rage is no match

for my superior intellect?

(growling)

Then again,

I suppose you brutes are incapable of learning anything.

(roaring)

Oh, no. He's in one of his moods.

At ease, soldier.

Do what I do. Take a breath and count to ten.

(scoffs) Like you can even make it to five.

-Whoa, cuz, take a chill pill. -(low growling)

There's nothing here.

Hulk: Another dead end!

(grunting)

(grunts and growls)

(rumbling)

A-Bomb: Uh... Hulk?

Hulk: A hidden lair.

Red Hulk: Greenie, wait!

There's something familiar about this place.

(The Leader laughs evilly)

Hulk: I'm coming for you, Leader.

(The Leader laughs evilly)

Show yourself, coward. Now!

Dude, do we need to hug it out? 'Cause we can.

And we will right here.

(grunting)

A-Bomb: Oh! Whoa, what is this place?

-(metallic clanking) -(all groaning)

I'm gonna go with a really fast elevator.

Uh-oh. Now I know why this place looks so familiar.

It's the Green Room.

Hmm. Room look gray to Skaar.

Red Hulk: It's a code name, Shaggy,

for a trap I had built

to contain Greenie back in the day.

Never saw it finished.

Forgot it was even here.

Hulk: Won't be here long.

(yelling)

No trap is strong enough to hold Hulk. (grunts)

Red Hulk: Yeah, that's right.

That's why I designed this one to drive you

so bonkers, you'd give up trying to escape.

The Leader: But you never got a chance to use it, did you, General?

Let's put it and its toys

to the test, shall we?

(low growling)

(theme music)

Hulk: Hulk smash Leader's gun,

then Hulk smash Leader.

(roaring)

Stand down, Green.

You don't want to do that, trust me.

(grunts)

-Skaar: No! -She-Hulk: Hulk!

-Red Hulk: Greenie! -A-Bomb: Big guy!

-(thuds) -Hulk: Whoa...

What was that?

Red Hulk: Anti-gamma cannon.

I created it as a weapon of last resort

to blast the gamma right out of you.

Well, it worked just like all your other weapons

of last resort, as in "not."

Hey. Don't start with me, Jones.

Yeah, ease up on Red, Rick.

-(grunts) -He clearly tried his best.

Yeah, hello?

His best to hunt you down like an animal.

(chuckles) No big deal. I forgave Red.

-It's all good now. -Ow.

Uh, why Hulk so calm?

I am kind of calm, huh?

My mind feels clear.

Clearer than ever.

But still pathetically feeble

when compared to my superior mind.

The Leader: Nevertheless, it will amuse me to match wits,

and I use that term loosely, with you ogres.

In other words, come and get me.

(evil laugh)

(growls) You're gonna eat those words, super skull.

-Red Hulk: Come on, Smashers. -A-Bomb: Me first!

-She-Hulk: Let's smash that big brain. -(chuckles)

Oh, those guys.

Uh, you saw that, too, right, Hulksters?

Did that Hulk shadow just wink?

Ah, must be an optical illusion.

Yeah, that's it. Right.

(grunts) Another dead end.

A-Bomb: And we're trapped again.

Whoops.

Skaar hate box!

Easy, Skaar.

Red designed this place, remember?

I'm sure he can find a way out.

Yeah.

(grunting)

You got that right, Greenie. Follow me.

Red Hulk: Come on, double time.

(The Leader laughs evilly)

A-Bomb: Whoa, deja vu all over again.

Red Hulk: Ah, nuts.

We landed in the puzzle box.

Bunch of identical rooms that keep shifting around

so you can never find your way out.

Wow. And you thought of that?

That's actually pretty clever.

Skaar: Huh?

This not pretty. Not pretty at all. (groaning)

It's the liquid metal.

Another trap I put in to drive Hulk crazy.

Well, congratulations, Red, it's working.

(whimpering)

Guys, guys, guys,

you just need to relax.

Don't know why, but, for the first time

in a long time,

I don't feel like a monster...

(exhales) ...and I like it.

(chuckles) Yeah.

Uh, how am I supposed to relax

when I'm sinking to my doom?

I'm an agent of S.M.A.S.H., not an agent of chill.

Somebody needs to hug it out, huh?

Or maybe just shake hands.

(grunting)

If you don't move, you don't sink,

so just sit back and Zen out.

-Uh, okay. -(She-Hulk groaning)

Skaar float.

So now we just float here?

Yeah, and let Red clear his head

so he can remember the way out.

There is no way out, Swami Lame-o.

No, wait.

There is a pattern to the shifting boxes.

Left, up, down, right,

which makes the exit...

(grunting)

All: Whoa!

(chuckles) Did you honestly believe

I wouldn't change the combination, General?

(yelling)

(groans)

(The Leader laughs evilly)

When I get my fists on that so and so...

I've realized I don't like you when you're angry, Red.

What do you say we try counting to ten?

One, two...

-Eight, nine, ten. -(thuds)

Now, did that make you feel better?

Actually, no,

but this will.

Don't you go soft on me you lily-livered milk sap.

Get mad!

It's like talking to a wall.

(grunts) Hate to interrupt the pep rally, guys,

but this wall's talking back.

-(grunting) -(metal clanking)

Ain't you even going to lend

a smashing hand here for crying out loud?

No need to get riled up.

I'm sure this will sort itself out.

Great, that makes one of us. (grunts)

Guys, give me a hand.

You can't just sit there, you're gonna get...

Impaled?

How did you know that would work?

Must respond to resistance.

Yeah. Figured it was something like that.

Figured? What is wrong with you?

Yeah, you've been acting like a weirdo

since you took that anti-gamma blast.

Wait a minute.

The cannon didn't blast the gamma out of your bod.

It blasted it out of your brain. Ha!

My weapon of last resort worked.

In your face, Jones.

Great, so now we're stuck in your maze

with a Slacker Hulk who won't smash

-his way out of a paper bag. -(Hulk groans)

Who needs to smash?

Hulk: You just have to listen

and let the solution reveal itself.

(metal cranking)

Red Hulk: You gotta be kidding me.

That was pure luck.

(groans) Oh! Back in cave.

Who cares? At least Hulk got us out of the loony bin.

You know, maybe Zen Hulk is on to something.

You did save us, cousin, but we are still trapped.

Yeah, inside a big elevator,

and I know where all the buttons are.

I'll have us out of here in no time. (beeping)

-(electricity shuts down) -Hmm.

Red Hulk: Well, that's not supposed to happen.

Hey, okay, who's grabbing me?

Whoa! (groans)

Something's got me! Let go!

That was weird.

Where Red go?

I don't know but look at those marks.

Whatever grabbed him must have been really powerful to drag him off.

Don't just stand there. We have to find him.

Do something.

Whoa, whoa. Try something else.

Skaar not floaty.

(buzzing)

Oh, great. Buzz saws.

Um, don't panic?

A-Bomb: Uh, too late.

(Skaar grunting)

Skaar slash buzzy thing.

(grunts) Buzzy thing slash Skaar's sword.

Whoa. Yeah, these things can hurt us.

(chuckles) They're probably gamma powered.

Which means they can slice through us. (grunts)

And probably through each other, too.

Green guy, you're a genius.

I am?

I think I'm actually starting to like the new laid-back you.

(grunts)

Skaar hate buzzy things.

Skaar, behind you!

Skaar!

-(growling) -Let Skaar go. (groans)

(growling)

No.

-(grunting) -What was that?

It's the same creepy shadow I saw before.

It must have got Red, too.

Now that's really weird.

Weird? Really? That's all you've got to say?

-We just lost Red and Skaar. -(metal clanks)

-(all gasping) -A-Bomb: Whoa!

Hulk: But we found the gravity.

This place is totally messing with my mind.

Pretty sure that's what it's designed to do.

You just can't let it get to you.

Ah, the monster attempts to think rationally.

It would be amusing if it wasn't so pathetic.

You. You're trying to make me mad, aren't you?

-But I can control my anger now. -The Leader: Wrong.

I control your anger,

and I can unleash it any time I want,

like the Minotaur from the Labyrinth.

(The Leader laughs evilly)

Come and face it if you dare.

She-Hulk: Dare this, uber-brow.

(grunts)

Now, Jen, was that really necessary?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, big guy,

you're not seriously thinking of going back

into the stacking blocks of doom?

Nah, I'm just doing it.

A-Bomb: What is he talking about?

(grunts)

-Whoa! -(grunts)

-Have you totally lost it? -(rumbling)

Ah!

Hulk: Relax, Jen.

Leader wants us to come to him.

He's probably got Red and Skaar,

so just go with the flow.

More like drown with the flow.

(sputtering)

(metal clanking)

Mmm! Mmm!

(thudding)

(coughing)

(gasps)

(exhales) Wow. That was refreshing.

Oh, and a way out.

It's too easy.

Run!

(grunts)

A-Bomb: Hulk, do something!

(both grunting)

You know, this Unflappable Hulk

is getting to be a real pain in my... Ow!

Hulk: You guys coming or what?

(humming)

Both: Down!

A-Bomb: Are you trying to get us fried?

I'm not trying to do anything.

I'm just letting it happen.

Wow, that thing is cool.

I got to get a closer look.

A-Bomb: If you say so, big guy.

-(Hulk grunts) -A-Bomb: Wait!

The patterns are endless.

Hulk: Jen, Rick, come check this out.

A-Bomb: This is a bad idea.

Uh-oh.

(growling)

(A-Bomb whimpers, yells)

-(She-Hulk screaming) -A-Bomb: Whoa!

Jen? Rick?

(thuds)

Huh, guess I lost them.

What? It's not like I don't care about my friends.

I just know things will work out.

They always do.

Ooh, probably don't want to stay in here.

Poison gas.

-Perfect. -(clatters)

(grunting)

Much better.

(humming)

Uh-oh. That was bound to happen.

Oh, hey, I was just looking for you.

Congratulations on successfully negotiating my labyrinth,

a feat for which your cohorts

-proved laughably incapable. -(machine whirring)

You're gonna be laughing out of the other side of your face

when Greenie's through with you, egghead.

Yeah, big guy, go pound some sense

-into that oversized skull. -(clicks)

Hey, hey, hey. Okay, okay.

I don't understand.

Is this supposed to make me angry?

Threatening my friends with a weapon that didn't even work?

Didn't it?

I promised you the Minotaur at the center of the Labyrinth.

Say hello to your dark half.

Huh?

(roaring)

-Hello. -Don't you remember me, Hulk?

I'm everything you despise about yourself.

Everything you try to keep buried.

Your impatience, your hatred,

your unbridled fury.

Yeah. I also remember you're not real.

You're just a manifestation of my own fear.

Ah, that's where you're once again sadly mistaken.

The Leader: You see, I made some improvements

on General Ross's anti-gamma cannon.

(groans)

The Leader: I used it to wrest all the negative qualities out of you

and manifest them in physical form,

leaving you defenseless

against your own worst enemy...

yourself.

(growls) Now that I'm free from your weak husk,

I will destroy everything I see,

starting with you.

(growls)

(groans)

-(grunts) -(Hulk groaning)

That all you got, you worthless coward?

(groans)

I don't want to fight you,

and deep down, I don't think you want to fight me either.

(growls) You make me want to puke.

I'm going to crush you like the puny little bug you are.

That's just the anger talking.

(grunts)

Dark Hulk: You got that right, wimp.

Come on, big guy. You can beat him.

Hulk's the strongest one there is.

Not if he doesn't get angry.

So what's he waiting for,

someone to say, "Pretty please"?

Skaar mad. Hulk get mad, too.

Haven't you Neanderthals figured it out?

He can't get mad.

That's what makes my revenge so delicious.

The Leader: Forcing you to watch your friend

helplessly beaten down by the very monster

he always feared himself to be.

And what would make my revenge even sweeter?

Multiplying it by five.

I'll unleash an army of Dark Hulks

forged from all your negative qualities

blasted out by my anti-gamma cannon.

-(growling) -(crashes)

(groans) Why would you want to do that?

The Leader: Why would I... (scoffs)

To prove once and for all

that you're not heroes, you dolt,

you're monsters. And that's all you'll ever be.

(scoffs) And what does that get you?

Who are you really angry at here?

Seriously, dude, you're gonna hug it out now?

Rick, you're a genius.

I am?

-(groans) -Sorry.

(whirring)

-(groaning) -Hold still.

This is for your own good, trust me.

It did wonders for getting rid of my anger.

Dark Hulk: No. Let me go.

Hulk: Don't be scared.

No. You're reabsorbing your rage?

Why would you do that?

Hulk: Because it's who I am.

-Increase the anti-gamma output. -(beeping)

Divert all power.

(Dark Hulk groaning)

(Red Hulk grunts) Looks like the bracelets are out of juice.

Big mistake, brain drain.

(laser powering up)

I'll not have my plans thwarted by a mere beast.

Battle drones, attack!

Skaar smash metal men.

(yelling)

(grunts)

We got the toasters, cuz.

You just keep putting the squeeze on shadow dude.

(Dark Hulk groaning)

The Leader: Ah, I need more anti-gamma power.

More.

Computer: Warning, cannon power supply has reached critical mass.

-(alarm blaring) -Ahh!

-(growling) -The Leader: You've ruined everything,

you maladroit, fatuous troglodyte.

If I understood a word you were saying,

I might get angry.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry,

and I can get angry now.

Couldn't leave well enough alone.

Every time you have us defeated,

you just can't help twisting the knife,

-and it always backfires on you. -(whimpering)

Every single time.

You know, I'm starting to think maybe

you're just not as smart as you think you are.

I'm not as... Huh?

How dare you?

(The Leader growling)

Oh, somebody has anger issues.

There. That make you feel better?

(groans)

Actually, no.

In fact, it's quite painful.

Hulk: My turn.

(screams)

(groans)

(growling)

(whimpers)

(grunts)

What are you doing? No!

(growling)

(whimpers)

(grunts)

The Leader: Ow!

(grunts)

(growling)

-Big guy? -I'm good. Hmm.

Hulk: Eh, Fury can dig The Leader out later.

Think you're gonna miss Calm Hulk?

Nah. He wouldn't last two seconds

against bruisers like Blastaar and Abomination.

I'm back for good.

Truth is, I was happier as Calm Hulk,

but I wasn't me.

We all have a good side and a bad side.

The good guys are the ones who can keep the bad side in check.

That's what makes a hero.

Hulk out.

(closing theme music)