Original subtitles

(ominous music)

Hey, Hulkies.

Things aren't looking so good.

Team is kind of scared we'll never get home

and that we'll be lost in space forever.

Cold, dark space.

They say you freeze before you suffocate.

-Even thinking about it makes me cold. -Earth is out there somewhere.

We keep our scanners open, sooner or later we'll find it.

-(clanging) -Nine hundred seventy.

-(clanging) -Nine hundred seventy-one. What?

You gotta keep bulked up in low gravity.

I should charge you admission to watch this.

Yeah, baby.

You need to exercise the muscle above your shoulders, brute.

Uh-huh. If you're so smart, Leader,

why are you stuck in an oversized pet cage?

(grunts)

Hulk: Picking up some kind of signal.

No. Hundreds of signals!

(horse neighs)

A-Bomb: You did it, Hulk! You got TV from Earth!

Uh, is that black and white?

Must be picking up older signals from decades past.

Locking on.

(crowd cheering)

Howdy, squirts! Hey, ho!

It's your old pal, Obnoxio! (squeaks)

A-Bomb: Ooh, I hate clowns!

Especially Obnoxio.

Is he supposed to entertain kids or traumatize them?

-A-Bomb afraid of funny-face man? -Afraid? No way.

I just hate their freakish grins,

beady eyes and horrifying make-up. That's all.

Red Hulk: Oh, ho. That's rich.

A clown afraid of another clown.

Hey.

The world rests easier since the Hulk and his monstrous,

muscle-bound Agents of S.M.A.S.H. have vanished.

Where did they go? Who cares?

As long as the monsters don't come back!

We're not monsters!

And the raging beast I used to be...

-gone! -(shatters)

(growls)

Sorry. (chuckles)

And when we get home, we'll find a way to prove it to the Earth,

all over again.

TV signal's coming out of some kind of wormhole thing out there.

Could be a way back to Earth.

(computer powering down)

A-Bomb: Of course, just when we get a lead home, the power goes out.

All right, Leader. What's the deal?

I wouldn't know.

Who wants to go home when we're having so much fun?

Skaar: Ooh. Dark.

She-Hulk: What is it? Some kind of black hole?

Don't know. But it's blocking our way to Earth.

-(computers powering-up) -Power's back on.

So go through it, Jolly Green.

We're going through it, right, Jolly Green?

You not afraid, are you?

Skaar: Hulk afraid of nothing.

I got a bad feeling about this.

She-Hulk: Prepare to enter the big black whatever it is.

(whooshes)

She-Hulk: Picking up something on the radar.

Coming at us fast!

Missile heading our way!

Hulk: Stand down. It's the Silver Surfer!

Don't worry, he's an old friend.

He can help us get home.

(grunts)

-Then why is he attacking us? -(alarm beeping)

(theme music)

(alarm beeping)

Here he comes again!

-Jen! Shields up! -(all groan)

I thought you said he was a friend.

He is. We fought side by side to save Earth.

Then he left to explore the universe.

Never seen him act like this.

I guess he's changed sides.

-(alarm blaring) -Losing our shields!

-Skaar: How Hulk stop shiny man? -(Silver Surfer grunts)

We have to go out there.

Yeah. Against the Silver Surfer? On what, rocket-boards?

-(door whirs open) -(whooshes)

Hey, I was kidding.

(groaning)

The void! It will consume the entire universe!

Surfer, calm down! Don't make me smash you!

That's it. You're getting smashed, tin man!

Shulkie, let's get him in a crossfire.

(grunts)

-Red Hulk: Look out! -(She-Hulk groans)

(metal clangs)

Skaar: Skaar slash shiny man!

Whoa. Shiny man tough.

He's the dag nab Silver Surfer. Our weapons won't do squat.

I warned you. (grunts)

(groans) Lost control.

Sorry, Surfer.

-Just trying to help. -(groans) The void...

Must escape the void.

She-Hulk: Poor Surfer. (shivering)

(grunts) So cold in here. What is the matter with the heater?

Computer: Brain scans reveal patient in semi-comatose state.

Estimated recovery time unknown.

Then all we can do is wait.

Jen, fly us through this void.

Get us home.

Well, maybe I got a clue to what happened to the Surfer in my footage.

(chuckling)

Whoa, is that what I think it was?

Peek-a-boo!

(shrieks)

Uh, that-- That sort of looks like a clown!

Uh, not-- Not that I'm afraid.

-(evil laughter) -(honking)

(humming)

(laughing)

Obnoxio: What do you know,

Ricky?

Okay, totally freaking out!

Time to make a peanut butter, pork and pickle sandwich.

Or five.

Skaar need five. Or 10.

(grunting) Boy, this is tight.

Must be jammed.

Skaar: No jammed. Give to Skaar.

Real funny.

What is this? Some kind of A-Bomb gag?

(grunting) Come on.

(grunts)

Since when is butter this hard to cut?

Eh, Red just need food.

Skaar make food!

-(beeps) -Food machine!

Make sandwich!

(beeping)

Stupid machine!

Ahhh! Skaar hate tech-ma-logy!

(groans)

Tech-mo-lology hate Skaar!

Let Skaar go!

Great. Now the appliances have gone crazy.

Red Hulk: Hold on, dog-boy! I'll pull the plug!

(grunting) Can't do it!

-(groans) -(thuds)

(grunts) Machine cook food, not Skaar!

I still got my beautiful bulk. So, how can I be so weak?

All right, Leader. Talk. How do I use your tech to help the Surfer?

Ha!

Figure it out yourself, you green gorilla.

You're not even half the primate I was when I was-- was, um, um...

What's the word? Hmm.

Oh, no.

What's happening to me?

(gasps) My brain! Diminishing!

I'm quite literally losing my mind.

Don't you try and trick me!

-She-Hulk: Cuz? -Huh?

I need you in the engine room.

My brain!

My think-- Can't get un-big.

(growls)

Don't know why, but everything's ticking me off.

Where's the thermostat on this thing? This place is freezing.

-(glass squeaking) -Freezing?

You already turned it up to 90 degrees. How much hotter do you want it?

Clowns, clowns, clowns...

-Clowns! (gasps) -Hey! Watch it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy, Hulk! It's me, Rick.

(growls)

Getting so mad.

Something's wrong.

You're telling me. I think an evil clown is coming to get me, Hulk.

Have I ever told you how much I hate clowns?

'Cause I really, really hate clowns!

Where are you? Smiley-faced freak.

You gotta be here somewhere. I know you're here.

There's no evil clowns, A-Bomb!

It's this cold!

Get away, machines!

Skaar smash tech-mo-mology!

Red Hulk: Hulk!

I lost my strength.

I'm betting it has something to do with the Surfer.

Jen. You okay?

Obnoxio: Hey, ho. What do ya know?

(evil laughter)

Did you hear that? It's coming! It's the clown.

There is no evil clown!

Then what the heck is that?

(laughing) Howdy, squirts!

-Yuk, yuk, yuk! -(screaming)

Okay. That's an evil clown.

(Obnoxio laughs)

(laughs) Brucey!

(groans)

Come here, little Ricky!

-Stay back, Clown! -Obnoxio: Don't run, Ricky.

I wanna make you laugh! (laughing)

It's my worst nightmare come true!

-Hulk: Laugh this off, clown! -Eh?

-(groans) -(boings)

(honking)

Skaar slash!

(groans) Tech-mo-mology!

Your toy broken? Come here. I'll play with you.

He fall down go boom! (honks)

(whimpering)

A-Bomb: Stay away from me!

Hulk smash clown!

Watch out behind you, greenie.

Your shadow's alive, and I don't think it wants to be friends.

Hulk: My shadow?

(Dark Hulk snarls)

-(laughing) -Hulk: And stay there!

(Obnoxio laughs)

Boogey, boogey.

Hang on, Jones.

I may be a weak sad-sack, but I'm still a soldier!

(grunts) Too heavy. Not good. Oh!

"Sad-sack," you say? Don't get down!

(squeaking)

Get a clown pound!

-(clangs) -(Hulk growling)

-(Hulk grunts) -Ugh! Somebody's grumpy. Have a treat.

(belches)

Hulk: (grunting) Cotton candy?

Hang on, Hulk! I'm coming. (chattering)

(chattering) So cold...

Jen!

Your turn, Ricky.

My powers are not enough.

It is the creator who must destroy it.

Me?

Silver Surfer: It is born from your fear. Face it, Rick Jones.

-(groans) -(thuds)

A-Bomb: My friends need me.

I won't run!

You better.

I've been afraid of you since I was six years old.

Not anymore.

Uh-oh.

-Going down, clown! -(groans)

I did it.

Red Hulk: Can someone explain what's going on?

After they pull me out of here.

I always knew the cold was my weakness.

But I never thought it was my greatest fear.

So the cold...

I made it real?

How can our fears come true, Surfer?

This void we're in lives.

It is a creature known as Null, the living darkness.

It unleashes fear in its victims, feeds on it,

and uses it to take on physical form.

I tried to stop it, but was lost in the darkness,

facing my own fear of being trapped forever.

So what happens if this big blob of nothing gets a body?

It will enter a nearby wormhole.

A wormhole that leads to...

Hulk: Earth.

That's where the signals were coming from.

So maybe we can use it to go home!

Unless it gets there first.

Somehow cosmic bad guys always find their way to our planet.

Seriously, does Earth have the worst luck in the universe, or what?

Earth has billions of lives and countless fears.

Null will bring them all to life.

And your world will fall screaming in terror.

We'll stop it.

How do we stop nothing?

Same way we stop everything. By smashing it!

We're taking the fight to that thing.

(whooshes)

(zapping)

Null: You may have faced your fears,

but now they will consume you!

(laughs) Shadow's back!

Yes. Unleash the beast.

Dark Hulk: 'Bout time you let me out. Wimp!

-Since you're here, let's dance! -(Hulk grunts)

-Gotcha! -(straining) No!

Yes!

(Obnoxio laughing)

(squeaks)

Ahhh! My nose!

Ahhh! Not my feet, too!

(gasps) Again with the freezing.

Think warm thoughts, Jen.

Think warm-- Aaah!

So weak. Shriveling up like a prune!

-(groans) -(thuds)

Skaar no like tech-ma-mology! Skaar--

(growls) Skaar smash!

Skaar-- Ahhh! Hate-- Oof!

(grunting) Tech-molomogy! Aah!

If you will not overcome your fears, Hulk, I will strike them from you!

(grunts)

No!

Not trapped again!

(straining) Hulk! I know you're in there.

I am, but I...

I can't get out!

Dark Hulk: And you never will.

I'm in control!

Empty, mindless monster!

Dark Hulk: Now that I'm free, no tin-plated crybaby is putting me back!

-(clanging) -Silver Surfer: No!

Hulk! Stop!

End your anger, and your fears'll follow!

(grunts) Hulk fears nothing.

(groaning)

Shulkie, what do we do?

(shivering) Red. I...

Jen!

No!

Yes!

Get angry, Hulk!

Null: Jen is gone.

You have no one left but me!

I won't get mad.

(groaning)

(groaning)

-Jen. -A-Bomb: Oh, no.

Jenny!

Jen gone. (grunts)

Skaar don't want to be tech-mo-mology!

Skaar not have to be afraid.

We need to heat her up. Red!

Shulkie. Oh...

Being weak isn't making me afraid.

It's making me angry!

Heating me up!

(growling)

(shudders) Warmth.

Red, you-- You saved me!

Heh, aw, it was nothing, Jenny. Really.

Oh, where's Null? I wanna smash it!

Um, I think you'll get your chance, Red.

Hulk: We're too late. We made it real.

It fed on all our fears combined.

(laughing) Now, mortals,

Null: I will feed upon the fears of all the Earth.

(Null laughing)

Great horny toads on a hot roof. Oh!

It's headed for the wormhole.

(Null laughing)

We are all that stand between Null and the destruction of your world.

Then let's smash that cosmic freak.

(laughing)

(zaps)

Fool! I am your fear incarnate.

Silence, foul being.

Let's give him a hand, smashers!

(grunting)

Take this, laughing boy!

Red Hulk: We're not even tickling it.

Our fears made it too tough.

A-Bomb: All right, funny face. You're toast.

No, don't eat me! Don't eat me!

(screaming)

I've looked into fear itself.

- Evil, thy name be clown. -(horn honking)

How about another round of frostbite, She-Hulk?

Cold doesn't bother me anymore, creep!

Because you have a greater fear,

that you will never reach home again.

Don't listen, Hulks. We'll make it home.

We just gotta smash evil me.

(roaring)

(struggling)

(roaring)

(laughs)

(groaning)

I will feast upon the fears of earthlings for eons!

Surfer, you got the power cosmic. You gotta close the wormhole.

It cannot be closed from here.

Close it? We gotta go through first.

Hulk: And that thing'll follow.

Earth is what matters.

We'll find a different way home.

Then let's free the Surfer!

(laughing)

Hee-hoo. (squeals)

Remember, when you face your fear,

it ceases to have power over you.

Got it!

To me, my board.

-A-Bomb: So long, Surfer! -Goodbye, my friends.

I will tell Earth of your bravery.

No, you are mine!

(groaning)

The wormhole! No!

You have lost me billions of terrors to feast upon.

Feast on this!

(groaning)

Hulk: Let's get out of here.

Face me, Hulks! Face your fears!

We already have, and we beat them.

The Earth is safe. There's nothing left for you to feed on.

No! (yelling)

Null is now nil.

Red Hulk: Clowns.

Seriously, Jones? You afraid of mimes, too?

Whatever, slim! You looked skinnier than a skeleton.

You were so weak, you couldn't even flick a light switch.

"Oh, how do I turn these lights on?"

And what's up with your fear, Skaar?

Your robot body was actually pretty cool.

You were, like, Robo-Skaar.

Technology... Skaar no like, but can learn to live with.

-(clangs) -(robotic chatter)

Well, maybe.

Tell me, what was that dark half of yours, Hulk?

Perhaps we saw what happens when the Hulk's "Hulk" is unleashed.

Doesn't matter what it was, muffin-top.

You'll never see it again.

(chuckles)

Everyone gets afraid, even Hulks.

Took a man in Silver to remind us.

To beat fear, you gotta keep calm and face whatever's scaring you.

Thanks, Surfer. Tell Earth we're on our way.

Hulk out.

(closing theme music)